Bethany Hamilton: Men in Women’s Sports, Marriage Advice, and Why You Need to Homeschool Your Kids 02:01:52

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We invite you, in fact. In the meantime, here's our latest episode with Bethany Hamilton. How do you deal with fear?

Okay, so I deal with fear maybe more naturally and better than your average human, but... I would say. It's not like a really thoughtful process for me. It's truly just facing my fears and not letting my fears like overtake me so much that I get paralyzed. And so I think maybe since I, you know, when I lost my arm when I was 13 years old, I

I had such a deep passion for surfing that my decision to get back in the ocean was based off of like getting back to my passion and my love for riding waves and not

just facing my fears. You know, I had like a deeper reason. Like I just loved doing what I did. And so I wanted to see if it was possible with one arm. So I truly just faced my fears. And over time, I think facing them over and over and over again, I eventually became less fearful of sharks, so to say. And it's funny, I've heard that sharks and motivational speaking are like

people's two greatest fears. And that's like the two things that I do. I surf with sharks in the ocean or I've like, you know, overcome my like incident with the shark. And then I do motivational speaking, which I would say I didn't like that at first, but eventually I overcame that, like that dislike or that fear or that uncomfortability. And I think

So often in life, we naturally want to run from discomfort. We want to make things as easy and comfortable as possible. And so if you can learn to recognize that sometimes you can't do that. And sometimes you have to walk into uncomfortable. I find in relationships, for example, sometimes you have to have the uncomfortable conversations sometimes.

to make that relationship more beautiful yes but a lot of us just want to like avoid that instead and in the long run that just makes the relationship less beautiful and less meaningful and less filled with depth and then eventually that relationship may dissipate absolutely right um

That's a more subtle process, of course. It's sort of like getting diabetes doesn't happen all at once. It's like over time. Getting in the ocean to go surfing again is a very abrupt experience. Yeah. And I think for me, it wasn't like I was going out to the sharkiest location. Sharkiest.

As a surfer, there's certain spots that you're like, ooh, I got the heebie-jeebies here. Or, you know, when you surf at sunset hour or if the water is a little more murky, you're like, ooh, this feels a little more like sketchy or more uncomfortable. So I started off in like the shallow, clear, blue waters. And so my initial surf with one arm wasn't filled with a deep fear. Like, of course, I was thinking of them. I mean, it was so recent. I started surfing with one arm recently.

Three and a half weeks after I lost my arm. Three and a half weeks? Yeah. Well, that's wild. I was on a mission. I basically went as soon as the doctor said I could. And my healing was really fast because everything was really clean cut. And I had a great surgeon and everything.

You know, I just had one of those cases that was, I would say, a little easier than most, you know, traumatic limb loss. And so here I am, less than four weeks later, getting back on my board. What did your parents say?

I think my mom was scared that I wouldn't be able to do it. So she's trying to come up with new, you know, options like you could be a photographer or like we can go to the mountain and snowboard. But my dad, I think he saw it and he was like, let's go.

And he was like there with me trying to help me catch my first waves. And I'm like, no, dad, I got this on my own. And lo and behold, I popped up on my third wave and rode it all the way to the beach and felt like one of the best waves in my life. Just tears of joy and just that sense of like, wow, I can do this. Yeah, I surfed as a child. I don't see how just the paddling part. I don't see how you could do that.

Yes, it's definitely I've adopted in my own unique way. And thankfully, I have one really strong arm. So we make the most of what we got here. But yeah, my approach to catching waves is different. Like a lot of times people will take like 10, 15 strokes, whereas me, I'm trying to position as close to the takeoff as possible so that I take one to three strokes per

to catch the wave. And so it's definitely different.

But I make it work. Wow. But your father didn't hesitate in bringing you back to the ocean? No, I think my dad just... Both of my parents were surfers, so they get it. They get that love for the ocean. They get that need to get back out there. And yeah, you could be fearful of sharks. I think that's one of the number one questions I get. It's like, why would you go back into the ocean? But for me...

It was my way of life. It was something I did every single day. And even though I was young, I wanted to be the best in the world. And I had the potential to be the best in the world at that age. Very highly competitive. I was winning just about every event that I entered. The summer before at 13 or 12, I finished second in the national titles in the 18 and under division.

So I was like kind of heading on that trajectory, so to say, of like she could be a world champ.

And so on top of being competitive though, like competition aside, I could care less about a jersey at the end of the day. Like I just love being in the ocean. And now fast forward, I'm a mom of four and I'm passing on my love to my children. Yeah. You don't, I'm just so struck when you said breakfast to end, your total lack of bitterness or self-pity is,

which leads to optimism and joyfulness, of course. But how long did that take to reach? I'm so grateful. My mom was very encouraging to me in my childhood to know God and to have faith.

And so I look at my 13-year-old self and really think like childlike faith. Like that's what Bethany had at that time. And that helped me to overcome that season and to be grateful for life. Like I woke up thinking I could have died, but I'm still here and I'm so grateful to be alive. And even though my life felt upside down and my future felt uncertain and like it was obviously a really hard, chaotic time, I

But I had this peace that I believe only God can bring, that even though I didn't know what my future was going to hold, I trust that there's more for my life, and I'm grateful to be alive. And that gratitude really pushed me forward, I think. Like, I didn't mope a lot. I didn't, like, sit and focus on, like, the negative of the situation and how awful it was and

I would even say too, like I did media really early on, kind of willingly, like as a little 13-year-old, because I had a heart for other people and I wanted to encourage other people. And so I started surfing four weeks later and then people were like, oh my gosh, little girl's like learning how to surf with one arm right after she loses her arm to a shark. So people were just awe-inspired. This is like before social media, but my story truly went super viral online.

I remember. And I would get letters from all different walks of life, like inmates to like people all over the world, like little girls, like if Bethany can surf with an arm, I can overcome my challenge. And so I had a heart for other people. And so I was willing to talk about my story and like share what I had went through and my desire to keep going and overcoming. And, but I think talking about it really helped me to overcome the traumatic side of it.

Like just facing that traumatic incident and talking about it like now I think I can think about that exact moment and I don't feel like overwhelmed with sadness or anger or, you know, it's just it is what it is sort of a feeling like.

And I think talking about it really helped that in itself. If I understood you correctly, you woke up the next day after losing your arm feeling grateful? Yes. That's wild. Yeah, I was in the hospital and I was just really grateful to be alive. And I think the doctors painted the picture of like, hey, you lost over 60% of your blood. You could have died. Like, it's a blessing that you're still here. But more importantly...

I trusted that God had more for my life and that... You certainly did. You know. What did you think you were going to do? Did you have any sense of what your life would look like? Oh, I had no clue. And I think that uncertainty felt really hard. And...

I think a lot of people who face traumatic situations, they want to just get back to normal life. So maybe that was part of my desire to get back into surfing was like, let's just get back to normal life. Like, I want to be back in the ocean doing what I love, being with my friends, you know? And so once I proved that I could do it, then there was no turning back. I started surfing all day, or not all day, but surfing every day again and just getting back to normal life. And

It took time to adapt and adjust and figure out how to do things. And there was definitely days where I'd be completely frustrated and crying and like the waves were just sending me back to the beach and just so frustrating. Like I think anyone who spends time in the ocean can know that like it's such a humbling place. No matter how strong or capable you are, it will humble you regardless. Oh, and it can hurt you at any time. Yeah. And so doing it with one arm,

I think that also gave me confidence to face the other challenges in my life. I'm like, if I can surf with one arm, what else is possible with one arm and like all the other areas in my life? So it really set me on this trajectory to be willing to adapt and to just make the most of what I have and have caught. And so lo and behold, little Bethany just adapting in every which way. Did you ever think you would have four children?

I always really looked forward to being a mom. And I think because my mom had so much fun with me and I was a parent that she loved being a mom and that she loved adventuring with me and my brothers, that showed. And so I think that inspired me to want to be a mom. And so...

Yeah, fast forward, being a mom is such a joy in my life. And I always thought I would have three, but here we are, we have four. How'd that happen? It just happened. Yeah.

Yeah, it was crazy. Like we got married and, you know, typical like married couple, like let's wait five years before we have children. And then like about a year and a half later, I got pregnant. I'm like, okay, let's go. Even though I felt scared at that time, like I think God's timing was perfect and I loved it.

just basically bringing our little guy into our life and taking him along for the ride. I was in a unique season in that I kind of quit competing. And thankfully, I did because that's when I met my husband. And then we got married and he was like, hey, what else do you want to do in surf? Because it's not like that's something you can do forever. So let's just like do a little more surfing and you can like check off all your goals and your dreams in surf.

So we started traveling and filming my documentary, Unstoppable. And then I get pregnant. I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, I felt like my world was flipped upside down. But I just ended up, we brought our little Tobias along for the ride with us. And I had some of my greatest success in surfing in that season after having my first child, Tobias.

Um, and I finished my documentary and then... And you brought him with you? Yeah. So my one-year-old had like more passport stamps than like your average human. And we did, I remember this one flight was 13 hours across the world to the Maldives. And we did some shooting down there and...

And then I'm like nursing him and about to paddle up for my heat in Fiji competing. And we just made it work. You know, most young parents, I include myself in this, find it really hard to travel with little kids. Oh my gosh. Like having babies on an airplane is not easy. And so...

But we kind of just figured out how to make it work. And I think because we immersed into that early on, you get your little tricks on the road and you just become more adoptable, I think. Like, I think routine is so good for children, but we definitely had a lot of routine disrupt and we just had to like create our own routine on the road. Yeah.

And, yeah, it was really a lot of fun. I, like, look back on that season. And, I mean, my season hasn't changed that much. We still travel quite a bit with all of our four littles. Well, I've noticed that. They're all here. You're on the other side of the world from where you live. And you brought all of your children. And they're young. Your little one's one? Yep. My little one's one. And then I got a three-year-old, six-year-old, and nine-year-old. Wow.

It's interesting that you do that. Did you decide that you were just going to stay a unit wherever you went? Yes. I think we realized that we were just still traveling a lot. And we actually were trying to create a business that would be sustainable within Hawaii. And we actually ran into some business trouble. So

We had to reconfigure how we did everything. And it just ended up being that traveling for work. I do a lot of motivational speaking, which I absolutely love doing that. I love being able to be an encouragement and inspire people. But obviously traveling with a family of six is not ideal. But the last thing I want to do is leave them home. I would have inner angst and I just wouldn't.

I know that it wouldn't work for me. Like, I would lose my mind. And I know that my greatest God-given role is to be a mother. And if I'm neglecting that role, like, I won't be able to live at peace. And so just bringing them along is the way we're doing it right now. And it's working. And they're just blossoming as humans. Like, it's really fun to see them growing in their own ways. And yeah, just being...

being along for the ride. I mean, they must get closer to each other.

Oh, yeah. Last night, yesterday was rough. We were all super jet lag. We had done a red eye. And I'm like, at one point, I'm like, go outside. Like, don't come back in until you're ready to be at peace. So, you know, there's rough moments. But for the most part, they get along really well. I love that. And you travel with your husband everywhere. Yes. So we're just family unit. My husband and I teamwork everything. So he's kind of like behind the scenes making things happen. Yeah.

And then I'm showing up and doing a lot of like what we do. And so, yeah, it's really a unique life. And I love doing it though with my husband. And it's just like we're the ultimate team. And then the littles are like our little minions along for the ride. It's just a completely different model of living.

from the one that most Americans, certainly I grew up with, where, you know, the father or both parents sort of head out, you know, in the morning to their own totally separate spheres of work. And then the kids go out to school, their separate spheres, and then possibly they all meet together for a meal at night and then they go to bed. Yeah, it's definitely different. And

I think what made me more open to this life that we've chosen to live was I homeschooled from seventh grade on. You grew up being homeschooled? Yeah, I grew up being homeschooled myself. So my mom kept me home from seventh grade on. I did elementary school and then I stayed home after that.

And it was primarily like there was a few different reasons. Our local public school was super bad. We couldn't afford private. And I was also like really highly competitive. I was already starting to travel for surf. And so my parents decided to keep me home and save that drive time to our school is really far away. It's like 45 minute drive hour drive.

hour one way. So two hours just driving to school. And so we just decided to stay home and my parents just kind of let me run with things. And then I started surfing with one arm and even competing with one arm. And that started less than a year later after losing my arm. And so two summers later, I win a national title and then I started competing with

in the World Qualifying Series. So just like the biggest league in surf to be a professional. And so I started traveling international around 16, 17, 18. I'm like traveling around the world already. So just being able to finish school while I'm traveling and have that flexibility was really just made it possible.

Some of my peers did finish normal school and then they started competing. So there's different ways about it. Either way, you can be highly competitive. You just have to work with what you got. But I feel like traveling and surfing taught me more than school did. And so...

It just made me a savvier human. It made me understand the world more. I saw a lot of different cultures, and I had to build my own independence really young.

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What did that do to your relationship with your mom? Did you get along with her when she was homeschooling? Yeah, you know, I think like most teenagers, we got along, but there was like a little sandpaper too. She did the best she could. And in hindsight, I look back and I'm like, you know, I had some teenage vibes going on. But for the most part, like, yeah, I think for the most part, we had a really awesome relationship. And my parents would take turns traveling with me. So...

You know, we lived in Hawaii, price of living was really high, and they were just barely scraping by, but they still gave me so much to support me. And you lived on an outer island. Yeah, we lived on the outer island, too, so we're always inter-island hopping. And then once we started traveling more internationally, it was just a lot on them, but...

Thankfully, I was surfing so well and I started supporting myself around age 16 financially. So I was traveling under my own dollar at that point. But my parents would come along for the ride with me sometimes and I think sometimes they're pitching in. But yeah, it just kind of started young for me. What a different childhood. Yes, very different. And I think too, being a professional athlete,

You learn diligence and ownership over your life. You have to push yourself. You have to be self-motivated. You have to, you know, really work hard at your sport and nobody else is going to do it for you. And so I learned that really young and that has served me in so many different ways throughout my life. Are you going to homeschool your children?

Yeah, so we're in the early stage of homeschooling and it's a beast. Is it?

I think it is, but I also think we make it more of a beast than we need to be. Can you just, I mean, I think a lot of people, well, certainly my age whose kids are grown, you know, sort of think, well, I probably should have done that. Didn't even really think about it, should have done it. But now with, you know, the sort of obvious evil going on in government schools and private schools,

I think a lot of people would like to homeschool. I mean, the... But how hard is it? What is it? What is it exactly? The rate of homeschool is grown by like millions and millions of more Americans homeschooling. And so what's really cool is there is a lot of resources and tools and information to make it more possible. And I think a lot of people get overwhelmed at the thought of homeschool because you think of traditional school, which is seven hours a day.

But a lot of that time is wasted time that isn't actually learning or educating.

And so taking the model and changing it to be less than two hours a day, and chances are they're learning more than they would in a school day. Wait, less than two hours a day? Yes. Yeah, you don't need a whole lot of time to accomplish a lot of your educating in each day. And so... Then why are we sending...

kids to school all day? I mean, that's a big question, right? Yeah, it is. You know, I think it's primarily the financial system. You bring it back to the financial system and it is a lot harder to survive on one income.

Now, fast forward in this day and age, my parents made it work in that my mom was working. And so there was a little pass back and forth or I would go stay with my friend if my mom was working a night shift. And so I just remember like-

She just worked the restaurant industry. Both my parents were in the restaurant industry. So they're very like simple life, like not a high income, just barely getting by. But they did show that you can homeschool on a lower income. Yes. And still do a whole lot. And so I think seeing them worked hard was really inspiring for me because I just saw them dedicate a lot to me, but also work really hard. And I think...

A lot of people are overwhelmed at the thought of homeschool because, you know, parenting in itself is pretty hard. Yeah, it is. But I wonder why it's become so hard for us. Like, for me, I've had to unpack a lot of like my habits or, you

You know, things that I'm not necessarily proud of. Like, you know, I had a season where I was really like short tempered and like I had to work through some health things to get on to the other side of that and like support myself to better mother my children. And I look back on that season and I hate that version of myself. Like, I mean, I'm forgiving of her, but I'm like, why was I like... How bad was she?

I was just like really like, you know, I think women tend to be more emotional and... And they're hard on themselves. Yeah. And I look back on that season and I realized that it was more than just being a woman. Like I wasn't being supported nutritionally. Like my sleep was really bad. And like there was a few other things going on where it was like just high stress and

And I was very easily angered and I had to really work on my nutrition and my lifestyle habits. I stopped watching TV at night. Sometimes, you know, I would want to just wind down and I stopped doing that. And I would just focus on getting to bed sooner, making sure I'm eating enough in the day, getting enough protein and carbs throughout the day.

And just making some health shifts that really like changed who I was. Like, I'm way more patient now. I'm way more like I can hold the needs of my children and their emotions because children are more...

They're not as emotionally stable, and I really think that we help them stabilize by how we are. And a lot of people are just struggling to remain calm when their child's having a full-blown tantrum. It's like the parent is having a tantrum with the child. But we need to do the opposite. We need to hold steady while they're having their tantrum and help them work through that. And so, yeah, mothering's taught me a lot and has challenged me in ways that...

no other role in life has challenged me. And, but I'm so grateful for that because it's sharpened me. It's made me, you know, really have to dig deeper and like work through my issues and work through my challenges that were some, some of them were probably learned too. Like,

My parents are amazing, but I still had some learned habits that weren't great that I needed to unlearn and reform and currently still working through some of them. But for the most part, I can look back on this season that

wasn't so good. And I'm so grateful that I was willing to adopt and challenge myself and look for help and educate myself and dive into health and be an advocate for myself because at the end of the day, nobody else was going to do that for me. And fast forward even to the influence I have on my household and helping my husband to be healthy and helping him to

take ownership in that area as like the leader of our household. And now I'm like, just the alignment that we have as a family, as a married couple, like continually working through the different little challenges along the way, we're a unit. And as him and I, as the like leaders, we're leading our children. And I think that

You know, we look through some of the challenges we've had along the way and our children are watching this and we're literally their role models and we're shaping this next generation. And so there's a lot of weight that comes with that. And I feel like society has let go of that in a sense of like,

We're just, we're going to school and we're going to sports and we're just trying to get by. And there's lack of intentionality in the household. And so I think I have a heart to not only work with teenagers, specifically in America, and help them to think through their future better. But now, like seeing the influence that, you know, the family has in society, it's so important that

And so going back to like the foundation of the family, husband and wife, and what does that relationship look like? And how can you, you know, work through your challenges together and overcome together so that you grow closer together as you go through life rather than growing apart? And yeah, just seeing the way society is now and like the attack on the family and the attack on young people and their families.

their gender, so to say, and like the way social media has a role in society. There's a lot that's not good and that we have to like think through and be intentional about. And so, yeah. You said there's a lack of intentional behavior, intentionality in the household. What do you mean? I feel like kind of like what I would want to word it is

Maybe it's just a passiveness. Like we're just kind of being passive about things and we're letting things happen versus like choosing how we see things happen in the household. We're just being passive and letting our children grow up, letting them see and learn whatever they can learn out in society. You know, children are given iPads and iPhones super young and they're instantly being like told a lot of different compelling stories

things that aren't necessarily filled with truth. And so I think as a role, as a mom and, you know, my husband, as a father, you know, we're thinking through that because our children are still young, but our nine-year-old is going to be a teenager in, you know, a few years and like life's going to change. And so how can we be proactive and

Not just be passive in his life, but really like mentor him and speak into his life and, you know, help him find his career path, so to say, and help him to become a brave and leading young man, even if his nature isn't necessarily a leader, actually.

Our eldest is a natural leader, but I'm just saying like, we'll look at our other boys and maybe they won't be natural born leaders, but they're going to have to lead at some point. And so equipping them to lead and like showing them the way more than just by example, but really like coming alongside of them and helping them find their way. Yeah.

until they truly are ready to spread their wings and then letting them know that the phone is always there and like the arms are always open. So you said that you've got three boys and one daughter. Your oldest son is a natural leader. He's the oldest, not surprised. But that all your boys are going to have to be leaders. What did you mean? And how would you train them to be leaders? Yeah.

Yeah, you know, I just think of the God-given beauty of marriage and matrimony and that relationship. And when done right, like, the man is meant to be the leader. Yes. And I feel, or I think that in society...

You know, with the current culture, especially in America, a lot of that's been flipped upside down and disregarded. And it's not serving society. How is that working, flipping that upside down?

Like just the woman is maybe, maybe she's not overtly leading the household, but maybe she's manipulating the household or maybe she's living in the same household, but doing her own thing. And it's just kind of like two separate lives together, but like she's doing her own thing and not really necessarily following a lead. Or maybe it's simply that the husband isn't leading and he's being passive. Yes. And,

that is affecting the household in ways that maybe the husband and wife don't really realize. And it's harmful and it doesn't serve the household. And it's hard to recognize it at first, but at some point it will backfire.

And I think that's partially why there's so many broken marriages now. But there's so much we could impact there, right? There's so much to a society that is broken and lacking wholeness. And, you know, maybe the husband isn't being faithful or maybe the wife is being ungrateful.

you know, reacting in a way that's pushing him away. And there's just so much to unpack. You know, I'm not like a marriage expert and, you know, I don't know. I think you've identified the big ones though. Yeah. Actually, it sounds like you are a marriage expert because you've just described the many varieties of dysfunction in a household. The passive husband is,

is a much more common thing than it used to be. Yeah, and it's hard because a lot of like what we know is what we've been taught or what we've, you know, learned from our own parents. And so you could hardly blame the husband for being that way. They maybe never had someone come alongside of them and truly show them the way in a healthy way.

And or simply having conversations that are intentional around this area. Like, hey, like these are things you're going to need to do as like the leader of your household. Like just simple conversations that are never held. If you were to give that advice to one of your boys, what would you say? Oh, I mean, from a mother's perspective, it's just knowing that like, hey, like you need to provide for your wife mentally, emotionally and physically, right?

And what that looks like is this, this, this, and this. And if she's reacting in certain ways, it's likely that you're not providing in one of those key points. And so being willing to problem solve as like a husband and, you know, to be honest, like it's because I've felt this in my own marriage and having to work through that with my husband and rather than like letting the, the, the,

Rather than letting the darkness tear us apart and pull us apart, our faith has grown us closer. We've had to work through some of our issues. And just seeing Him grow as the leader of our household has been really beautiful and

I'm just so grateful, but I felt like the before and after. So are you saying maybe make it more general? Yeah, I definitely make it more general. But you know what you're talking about. Do you think that a woman should encourage, explicitly encourage her husband to be a leader, a better leader?

I think, I mean, yes, for sure we should be encouraging. Like that is our role is to be encouraging and cheer on and support and, you know, be supportive. But also to allow that to happen. And sometimes you have to let go of things to support.

But I also like there's a lot of conversation that comes with that and like talking about it and working through it. And it's hard because this is such like a deep, deep issue. But it's the core issue. Yeah. If a husband and wife can't get along, then how does society continue? No, for sure. And that's why I talked like when I started opened up this little can of worms, I was like,

talking about it from the perspective of like society, why is there so much brokenness in society? We've lost our problem solving abilities. And instead of like, you know, having those deep, meaningful conversations that are essential over time, not having those conversations, um,

Then they just break apart. Okay, so let's be specific. You've got four kids. I have four kids, so I know what it's like to have, you know, nine through one. And what it really is, is just kind of chaotic. There's just a lot going on. A lot of people with immediate needs that must be met. A lot of filth that must be cleaned, et cetera, et cetera. A lot of noise. Hard to have conversations with your spouse under those circumstances where you're living in. So how do you...

have a conversation like that's that heavy and that important when you've got all these other demands. Yeah, it's super hard. And that's why I like I talked, I always bring up my health journey. It's not like I went super deep in on that, but realizing that I needed the energy to

throughout the whole day, not half of the day, the whole day until I make it to my bed at bedtime. I need the energy to serve my family well. And so I'm very passionate about health because I recognize that the common meme is like, but first coffee, but first I need some me time to survive this chaos.

But we're really not as resilient as we should be because our health isn't being supported in the way that it needs to be to be the best mother, to be the best wife, to be the best daughter in life. And so first supporting yourself so that you can overcome the hardship that comes your way.

And so for me, like, you know, I'm not watching Netflix or TV or anything at bedtime. I'm going to bed or I'm having a conversation with my husband. So it's like the relationship and my health first before any entertainment, right?

And did you feel like just to pause on this for a second, because I think it's a it's a big thing, particularly for busy people, people with little kids. It's like, all right, the second they go to bed, I'm just going to zone out in my own world with Netflix or whatever. Why? Why is that bad? Why did you stop doing it?

I stopped because I felt like I needed to stop for my own survival. I do try to find a 20, 30 minute, sometimes hour and a half window for myself in the day, which that looks like surfing or getting a little movement or going on a walk or laying in my bed praying or doing something just by myself for a quick minute.

But there's like so much time that is wasted, whether it's scrolling on social media or watching TV. It's very consumeristic. And I want to create and I want to build and make beautiful. And to me, consuming doesn't allow for that as much. You know, when I'm consuming, I'm essentially not creating.

I knew it would be worth asking you that question because that's a wonderful answer. When I'm consuming, I'm not creating. Yes. And so for me, you know, we always want to justify our actions.

Every now and then I like to sit down and watch alone. And it's usually with my husband and sometimes with my children. Like that's the one TV show we watch lately in the last year. But otherwise, I'm not consuming. And, you know, I am on social media, but I try to like keep tabs on that and not let it like overtake my life. I have it.

Typically, I have it on a separate device. Lately, I haven't because I broke my old device phone. But I had to move it off my main phone device because I was like needed to control that time, so to say, spent like not randomly scrolling when I didn't necessarily want to, you know, kind of putting some boundaries there. Because, yeah, it became like a easy reflex to like kill time and space.

And so I moved it to a separate device and that was a game changer for me. I know not everyone can just have a separate extra device, but if you can and if it is stealing that much of your time, then maybe it's worth investing that extra little chunk if you aren't willing to give it up. But...

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Yeah, it's almost like we're more reactive to life rather than proactive. So reacting to what comes our way and just kind of reacting to the time and just doing what we have to do to kind of get by versus like planning and being proactive and saying no to certain things and saying, you know, like choosing what comes in the household and how we use our time and how we converse with one another and, you

You know, I think of like the marriage as the foundation of the household. And so being proactive in that relationship and like really working for that rather than letting time kind of turn it into this passive relationship that eventually fizzles out because we weren't proactive in it. And so...

Yeah, it'd be fun if Adam was here, he could speak to that in his own sense. And I'm grateful to God for him every single day. And we've had our own journey of like growing and learning and becoming more proactive and like working through our challenges. One thing I'm struck by is you keep coming back to time, how you spend time.

And when you said that homeschooling can be done, a child can be educated to at least the standard of a public school in two hours. And then you said, but for most parents, just like send your kids to school, take them to sports.

There's like a whole kind of program that families sign up for that they have no control over at all. Yeah. That may or may not be good for their children and they just react to it. But you're instead figuring out how to spend, you know, the other 22 hours of the day with your kids. That's a big change from the way most people live. Yeah, it is a big change. And I think it's because, you know...

I was like the last generation to not have social media for most of my childhood. So I remember I got an Instagram about when I was 15 and I had this season where I was highly addicted to it. I would be with all my friends and I would like randomly start scrolling and then I would try to show them stuff and they're like, we're having fun together. Like we don't need that.

And so I was this last generation to like, I grew up diving into the ocean and swimming with turtles and going surfing and playing kick the can in the yard and filming little movies on a camcorder that were like gory. And we'd put ketchup on my left arm and like we were truly children like kids.

filming horror movies in our backyard because it was hilarious and funny and like just being really creative. And now I look at this generation and you'll be driving and you'll see kids on the side of the road hunched over looking at devices, waiting for their school bus, like not full of life, like not full of joy and beauty and passion and creativity, but rather being

sent into this society realm that is just passive. It's being entertained. It's being consumeristic. It's just lacking this beauty in life that I really like. I look back on my childhood and I love my childhood.

You know, I did grow up with amazing parents that, you know, they devoted a lot of time to me. It's just funny because you're famous for being attacked by a shark and losing your arm in your childhood. Yeah. How was your childhood? The best! It was. Well, that's just... Yeah, it was so amazing.

Amazing. And, you know, the loss of the arm was just like a little speed bump in the road. Like I continued to have like an amazing childhood after I lost my arm. And so now I'm looking at this generation. It feels like you really mean that. Yeah, I do mean that. I loved my childhood, even the hardship that I face like now.

It created me to be an overcomer, to be an adapter, to be someone who has to work through a challenge in a healthy way. And I did figure that out, I would say, for the most part. You know, there's always things we have to unpack at some point or another. But yeah, and now being fast forward being a mom and I'm like looking at this generation and it's just so vastly different. I will say like I did watch my I would leave my house at like eight in the morning to go surf.

My brothers were gamers. So I would leave the house and like go do a bunch of different things. And then I'd come back like eight hours later and like my brothers hadn't left their spot on the couch. And that also had a huge impact on me. I was like, what are you guys doing? You literally haven't left the couch for like eight hours straight.

And I hated seeing that. I think being like a nature lover and someone who like grew up in nature and like found my creativity in waves. Granted, both my brothers were great ocean men as well. They were like really talented on waves. So it wasn't like they were so stuck to the gaming that they didn't go surf. But I saw this like side that I just didn't like. And I was like, there's no way I'm allowing that in my household as I grew up.

or as I'm raising my children, because I want them to be creating and, you know, I want them to just be super healthy. I think too, like I have like a unique perspective of like

Being a former professional athlete, really having to push it physically and mentally and like knowing that I had to support that nutritionally and just through various avenues of health. I now bring that into my household and I'm like, if there's one area in your life as a parent to not be passive, it's like, well, actually, I don't think I can narrow it down to one thing, but it's like your faith and health.

Like at least give your children those two things because otherwise society will eat them up. And there's so much junk out there that will like take them over. First of all, I feel like a consumerist slug listening to you. I've never played a video game, but I have wasted a lot of my life now that I think of it. And I'm sorry that I have. But let's just stop with those two things. The two things you said you can give a child or four children are faith and health.

So let's just start with faith. How do you do that? Well, I guess you have to go on the journey yourself first. You have to be able to know what you believe. You know, my parents encouraged me to know God at a young age in the Christian faith. And

I mentioned earlier, after I lost my arm, I had a piece that I believe only God could have brought, like, through that season, even though it felt chaotic and upside down and like the most unimaginable thing happened to me. Yeah.

And I'm a very rare human to have that circumstance. But even in the chaos, I had a sense of peace that God was with me and He was not going to leave my side. And I don't think that He ever did. The way I worked through that season was so beautiful and so full of a confidence that I believe only God could have brought. And

I'm thankful that, you know, my mom and dad weren't perfect, but they were there for me. My mom would read the Psalms and Proverbs in particular because it's very inviting. I like the Proverbs because it unpacks the wisdom of God. Like there's 31 Proverbs. Y'all could read one Proverbs a day and it would be less than five minutes of your day. Could you take five minutes of your day to like read God's word? Yeah.

I think so. And they're amazing. And they, even if you don't believe in God, an atheist could read the Proverbs and come away improved. Yes, be blessed by the Proverbs. But the Proverbs and Psalms was like one thing that my mom did read with me. She would read that and pray with me at bedtime. And that was such a blessing. And I think that's helped sprout my own faith, my own childlike faith that eventually grew into its own as I

grew into an adult. And now I want to give my children that so that if they have something like a shark attack in their life, they're going to be able to work through that with or without mama. They'll be able to survive the challenges of this world. They'll be able to see through the lies that are being spoken on a daily basis in our society. They'll be able to see through

the lies that aren't going to serve them in their life. And I believe that that's in God's Word, first and foremost. And so for me, it looks like praying with my children at bedtime and throughout the day. And it's reading the Bible and it's encouraging them in their faith and talking through philosophical ideas that at the end of the day, you can look to God's Word and know what is truth. And so...

I forget your original question, but... How do you impart faith and health? Yeah. And then too, just like praying for my children, because at the end of the day, it's not me who does their faith. It's God. God will gift you that faith. He will speak into your life. And so to me, the most important thing is to read God's word, because that is the thing that will sharpen them and speak into their life. And it's ultimately...

the Lord says that that is His word. And when we hear His word, that can work and move in our hearts and minds. And then when it comes to health, just living out a healthy lifestyle, teaching them what is good and what is not good. My children know that we're not eating Red Dive 5 because it's not good for us. So they're choosing not to do that at 6 and 9 already.

And they know like we still have treats. So it's not like they're so deprived that like they're like, oh my gosh, I need the red dye five because I have this opportunity to have it. The red dye five. Pardon my ignorance. What's red dye five? You know, the red dye that they put in food, but it's not really like food and it's like highly toxic. You need to deep dive that, Tucker. Come on, get your act together. I don't know if I want to know. It sounds bad though. But.

But if you go into the grocery stores now, majority of the grocery store is not even things we should be consuming. And I know a lot of people are like, "Well, that's expensive."

You know, to a certain extent, it is going to take a little more investment to bring real food into your house. But when you educate yourselves and start to understand why, it becomes an easier decision. And there's a lot of things you can do that are more affordable to just eat real food, basically. What do you serve your kids?

And that's the cool thing is I'm the one with the wallet. So I get to bring what is in the house, my husband and I, of course. And he does half of the grocery shopping. Whoever just is out there picking up the food. Most money in every household is spent by the woman. She makes those decisions. Yes, yes, yes. So, you know, I'm the one that's choosing what comes into the house. So I'm

It's easy to make the household healthy because I'm not going to buy the junk that doesn't serve them and their health in the long run.

Um, so for example, for breakfast, we'll have crepes, pancakes, waffles, or like egg toast. And I'm like blending it in the blender and I'm putting the ingredients in there. And it's all wholesome ingredients and like lots of good eggs. Eggs are such a great way to start your day. My children are fairly like mentally stable. And I think it's because we eat really good. Like we eat clean, healthy foods and they're not like

you know, very rollercoastery in their mental stability. And so I'm seeing it play out in real time. Like, wow, there are really healthy children. Because their sugar levels aren't spiking and crashing. Yeah. And then, you know, it's not even that we don't eat sugar. We're just making sure we're getting enough protein to survive.

to balance out that glucose. So as long as you're balancing out your diet, you're going to be okay if you have a little treat here and there. But there are a few things we avoid like red dye fives, artificial ingredients, seed oils, a few other things that just aren't really like real foods. And so we just keep it wholesome and real. We eat a lot of your like

normal meals, but just the healthy version of it and none of the junk process. And like, you know, we'll stop shop at like Costco, for example, because that's like the one of the only grocery stores we have on our island. And 90% of what's in there, we're not bringing home. So we're choosing to find the good stuff that is wholesome and real. But no Lucky Charms from Mountain Dew. No. We might have a little root beer here and there, but... Interesting.

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Oh, I mean, we have a really unique life growing up in Hawaii. They're in nature all the time. And I will say if you're struggling in your parenting, it's probably because you just need to get in nature more. Like any day I feel kind of stressed or overwhelmed in motherhood. I'm like, we're going to the beach. We're going to nature. We're getting out of the house and into like just this place where they can be creative and

And just be grounded again, you know. And so I found that like I definitely thrive as a mother in nature. So I'm trying to like find those thriving locations so that we can thrive in life. How much contact do you have with your larger family?

Yes. I mean, we have such a beautiful setup. My parents, they live on the same property as us, and both my older brothers live within a 10-minute drive. And so I got all my nieces and nephews, my brothers. We have about 12 or 13 grandkids now, my parents. And so...

It's just like... And they all live next to each other. Yeah, we're all like within 10 minute drive of each other. So it's really easy to get together and like help each other, raise each other's children and...

My mom is a super grandma. She's so supportive and like is truly there for us. And like, you know, if I'm having a rough season in motherhood, which they come and go, you know, it's just part of life. I'm like, my mom's there and she's giving me advice and I'm asking her for advice. And I'm like, how do I get through this mom? Or on the rare occasion, please take the children before I lose my mind. Yeah.

which isn't very often because I have a great relationship with my children and I am healthy. So it's not like I need that all the time, but it is just a blessing to have that. So just for perspective, because you're famous, people might think, well, you know, that you can live that way when you're really rich. But having just been in Hawaii recently, I was reminded it's, I think, the most expensive state. It's one of the hardest places to live. And it doesn't sound like your family's rich.

No, I mean, we make decent money and we are a unique situation, but I grew up with five of my best friends from childhood, born and raised in Hawaii. They're now married and have children and almost all of them are homeschooling and they're living a normal, very normal life and they're getting by and they're choosing to live a lifestyle that is different, but they aren't anyone...

you know, unique or out there. So that's kind of what I'm saying. It's achievable then. You can choose to live a certain lifestyle, you know, and I think the common thing in America too is like we want to live above our means. So figuring out what is your means and are you living within your means and what adaptations can you make so that you could make your dreams come true if you have certain dreams, so to say.

And if you choose to not go down that route, at least being intentional with the time that you do have with your children. So when they come home from school, having that energy and that mental capability to be intentional, to give them eye contact, to give them that quality time. I feel like specifically from junior high to high school, it's like the most pivotal years besides obviously childhood's pretty pivotal years.

And their worldviews are pretty formed very young. But there's these pivotal years where parents get very little time with their children because they're in school, they're in sports. Then they come home and they have homework.

and random chores maybe. And the parents barely get that time with their children. And so obviously my children aren't in those years, but I'm thinking about those years and how I'm going to approach it. And I don't want it to be mundane or unintentional. Like I want my husband to have quality time with his son so that

His sons have a good grasp on the world and what they're getting themselves into as they become adults, you know?

What do you think they're getting themselves into as they become adults? No, really. I mean, you've got three boys. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot out there, but I hope that they'll find a wife pretty young and be good leaders of their household. And I want to encourage them and help them find their way so that they can afford to be a husband and a provider. Yeah.

So working with them to like figure out what their talents are and like what sort of work they could do to survive and not just survive, but thrive. And to say no to the temptations of the world and to respect women and to...

you know, choose a life that is honorable and just and not just go with the flow of like what society is currently at. And I think as a male in particular, there's a lot of temptation around women and pornography and none of that really serves society. It's become so normalized. You know, you look, you know, I grew up in Hawaii and like it's the most uncovered place

area of the world. People are literally walking around in close to nothing on a regular basis. And

But I feel like now young men in particular, it's like there's social media and it's just there's so many dark holes they can get caught up in. And even gaming, like I am really against gaming. I haven't even really talked about that publicly, but there's no way I'm bringing that into my household because I want my boys creating, becoming, like building up their skills in life. Like I want them to have...

you know, mentor under a plumber, electrician, like mechanic have these basic skills so that they're not completely helpless when they, you know, start living on their own, like just basic life skills that instead they could be gaming. And where is that going to get them? And then when they have to start living a real life,

and they run into challenge, what are they going to do? Are they going to problem solve or are they going to just go zone out in gaming? There's a lot of husbands that aren't showing up because they're busy gaming or pornography. And so equipping our boys to say no and to say yes to the good and beautiful things that they could be doing in life and to learn how to provide and serve and protect.

You've got such an interesting way of presenting what you think. So you have a very gentle affect and calm and laid back. But what you're saying is like really radical as compared to when I think every word you've said is true, just for the record.

But it's so different. It's so different. You live on an outer island in the farthest away state out of 50. Pretty rural state, I think. So maybe you don't know how radical... Do you have a sense of how different how you live is from how many other people live? I mean, I've started to realize that...

raising children, of trying to find good friends for my children and just some of the boundaries that we are setting on behalf of our children and trying to who can they play with? What households are good for them to be in? I think it's going to get even harder in the teenage years. So it sounds like you think you have the right to make those decisions as a parent. Oh, 100%. I think that...

if I didn't lead, guide and protect them, like nobody else will. Yes. No, I mean, I couldn't agree more. And don't we have an understanding that the brain isn't fully developed till 25? Yes. For males, I think it is. Mid-30s for males. Somewhere around there. So why would you like hold back protecting them and helping serve and guide and lead them in a healthy direction? Yeah.

I think of myself as super healthy. And so, of course, I'm going to like help lead and guide them along the way and not like just let them hopefully float out there and figure it out.

That is kind of the strategy for many parents. But even to the extent of like, hey, you're invited to question me, son. Like, question what I'm saying. Question what your auntie or uncle is saying. Ask questions and don't be so passive that everything mama and dada says is, you know, the end all, say all.

So, to the extent of like, yes, you respect your mother and father, but you're still allowed to ask questions and have your own opinion. But, you know, I do see it in my nine-year-old how much he looks up to his dad and me.

And how he's willing to like, he knows that when mama says like, don't eat red dye five, it's because she loves him and she's protecting him from eating these neurotoxins that will give him ADHD. And he doesn't have that currently. So we don't want him to get that, but he could have it if he keeps eating those over and over and over again.

And so he trusts me in that. I explain why. I'm not just like, nope, you can't have that. I explain why he can't have that and why I don't want him. And you know what? If he ate it once or twice a year, I'm not making a huge deal out of it. I'm just like, hey, like we're not bringing that into our household at least. How are you going to navigate marijuana? Oh, I mean, for me, it was actually a really easy one to navigate as a teenager.

Because I think like the way my mom might have talked about it and then even in the public school was like, I was highly athletic driven. And so I could see that it was a common theme that people lost their drive in life with marijuana in particular. And then even I've had a mother-daughter mentorship program and one of our calls is focused on drugs.

And the coolest thing is we'll show the girls the brain without marijuana and alcohol and the brain with, and they look very different. Like it's very noticeable how healthier, like we had a brain specialist kind of explain the differences and you could see it with your own eye. And so that was really cool to me as an adult who's chosen not to like, uh,

do marijuana or anything like that. But just talking about it from a perspective of health. So that's why, you know, I said earlier, like encouraging your children in faith and understanding health is so important. And talking about like I talk about, hey, you know, if you go through a challenging season in your life,

Do you want to go to alcohol or do you want to go to God? Like, what's going to be your strength? What's going to serve you and your family? Is alcohol going to serve your family or is God? Like, what's going to lead you forward and help you to overcome and adopt and persevere through the challenges that will inevitably come your way? Certainly not alcohol and drugs, which a lot of society is going to that because we have

essentially, aren't happy with our life or we're looking for an outlet that numbs some of the pain. And so, working with our children to face their hardship and to work through their pain and to have a plan for when that comes, if they don't have any of that prior to leaving the household, having a good plan. What are you going to do when you face hardship? Are you going to

go to these outlets or are you going to come back to mom and dad or someone who's respectable in your life to help you work through it? Because there's certainly been seasons in my life where I'm like, why didn't I go to someone to help me through that? And I tried to navigate it by myself and it sucked and it was hard and it was awful. And I'm like, why didn't I ask for help?

And I just like, that's not what I want for my children. I want them to go and ask someone for help, whether it's me or not, like that's okay. But I hope it's me. And if it's not me, like they're going to have a few other people in their life that I'm going to be like, this would be a great person. If you don't, for some reason, don't feel comfortable talking to me, go to this person and like have them spend time with that person in their life.

late teen years so that they have a relationship that's, you know, encouraging. Why do you think, this is a pretty common human experience, but people have problems that they could probably sort out quickly if they articulated them in front of somebody else, but they don't. Why? Oh my gosh. I feel like there's a lot of reasons why. And, um,

I think, you know, that's why earlier in our conversation, I talked about working through some of my issues in motherhood is because, you know, I think sometimes we get closed in life or we, you

aren't open to teaching or wisdom or, you know, respecting our elders. It's almost like there's this untalked about level of being where we have pride and we just think we can do it ourselves.

And I feel like that's almost growing even more now with social media because they're like, oh, I can just Google what to do. Yeah. Rather than ask someone respectable in your life, like, hey, like, do you think this is a good life decision? Like, should I go down this route? So for me, I don't know, I'm kind of going about this answer in a long way, but I'm now asking three different people for advice if I have something that feels overwhelming or challenging. Yeah.

I'm going to the three different people and trying to see if it will align for them, if their advice to me will align or, you know, like just having someone respectable to speak into my life over challenging subjects that feel like I need help in this area. So you're approaching your own life with humility. You're acknowledging that you don't know what to do.

Every answer to every question. Yeah. And, you know, if it feels like something really hard, just not being afraid to ask for help. And, you know, maybe there's this level of like,

That distancing in junior high and high school where like you're almost like separating from your parents too early. Yes. And then you go off to college and adult life and you're like, well, I don't really have that relationship with my mom and dad. So I'm not going to ask them for help. Or we didn't work through some of our issues as in that relationship through the high school years. And so there's not that level of like, you can come to me like I'm here for you and I'll like accept you no matter what the challenge is.

And so trying to keep that relationship open and just communicative so that when the real challenges come, there is an openness and like they'll be willing to ask for help. And obviously there's different characters and stories.

You know, I can see already like trying to raise the different characters in my children. I'm like, they're very different and it's going to require like some problem solving or adoptability to their different, you know, personality and character. And so. Yeah. Genetics is real. Yeah. Yeah. Kids are different. So you said you have a mentorship program where you're dealing with young people who are not your children. Yeah. What do you notice about them? What?

Yeah, so I've always just had a heart for teenage girls, and maybe it's because of what I faced at such a young age. Like, when I lost my arm, I was 13 years old, and it's such a pivotal season going into those teenage years. But then there was this one woman who...

would pick up my girlfriends and I and speak into our lives. She mentored us and encouraged us in relationships in particular. She equipped us to enter into the dating realm and to look for a husband in a healthy way.

And this woman wasn't like super appealing, so to say. Like I would say the fact that she like brought chocolates, brought chocolate and like brought us to the beach was like the lure, so to say. But she was willing to just show up. And like even if she wasn't like super cool, you know, like as a teenager, you're looking for those cool people to hang out with.

She wasn't like super cool, but she like spoke into our lives and she made the most of what she had and she made such an impact in my life. And so I just feel like I've been given a unique platform to speak into young people's lives. And I'm very passionate about like social media as well. Like the big thing I've noticed is the girls who, you know, I'm working with girls between like nine to 18 and

And they're alongside of their mothers. But the girls who are highly active on social media, like, you can just tell right away. Like, they dress more promiscuous. They're very aware of their being. You know, they're very, like, aware of just how they look and how they carry themselves. And it's almost like they've got something to prove. They're trying to be cool or, like, you know, be accepted in a certain way. And I just...

I really just noticed a vast difference in the girls that are active on social media and the girls that are not. And, you know, either way, they're very lovable. Who's happier? Definitely the girls that are not active on social media. Oh, it's that obvious. Yes. They have a lot less issues and...

Yeah, it's definitely really interesting. And there have been extreme cases where we've had some girls who are really struggling in their life and their mom's like, we've already done everything. We've done counseling. We've done like drugs to try to like calm them down or like help them not be depressed. And it's just not working. And so they're coming into this program like depressed.

Like, let's just like try it. You never know. And I think there's just something about the community element and like talking about the truth and the challenges of the world. So we're talking about all these different topics, dating, drugs, conflict resolution, faith, um,

all the different topics that I'm like naturally passionate about and even like health and stuff and like just trying to equip the girls. But at the end of the day, like the young girls might be really excited to see Bethany like as their mentor, but the goal is not me. It's their mom.

So their mom's coming in and doing it with their daughter. And it's about that mother-daughter relationship because I remind the girls, I'm like, hey, girls, like, I'm not going to be there for you when the going gets rough. But your mom is like, she is the one that will die for you and like do whatever it takes to survive.

be there for you in your tough seasons. And so maybe you don't see eye to eye with her on everything and maybe you have a little sandpaper of a relationship, but your mom loves you so much. And so it's just kind of about bringing back that family unit and making that be the focal point of

mentorship experience program. And so it's just been, yeah, it's really interesting though to unpack like the difference in the children who are being exposed a lot more and then the ones who are not. And to me, it feels a little devastating because I'm like, oh, I had such a good childhood. Like you girls should be like adventuring in nature and filming like cute little like funny movies on a little camcorder. Yeah.

And instead we got like TikTok dancing and like just like endless media scrolling and TV watching. And, you know, I don't want to be so negative because I know there's beautiful moments in everyone's lives. But I just feel like there's so much more to be had when we're creating and being artistic and letting our strengths and talents be used and shared.

pursuing like the good and beautiful things in life and having like really open, like loving relationships and quality time. And one thing I'm working with my children is like teaching them, like I try to look in their eyes. Like I've met a lot of people and it's like, we almost are losing eye contact, like something as simple as that, like trying to look people in the eye and starting in your own household. Like once you start to be aware of it, you're like, whoa, like

they haven't looked me in the eye today. And so you have to, but like, I have to lead my children to be able to look me in the eye. And so like making sure I'm not so busy that I can't like slow down and like check them out and like give them that eye contact that they deserve and that like quality time. So one thing I love to do with my six-year-old in particular, and

He's super sweet, but he has this interesting personality that it feels a little harder to get through to. And so one thing I like to do with him is play rummy cards. So he's only six and he's doing so amazing. He beats me all the time at rummy and he'll be calculating how much points he has versus how much points I have throughout the game.

And like, this is like one way that I like to connect with him. That is really sweet. And there's nothing else going on. I mean, obviously there's little sissy trying to steal the cards, but for the most part, it's just him and me having this moment. You're not checking Instagram during the games. No. Phones set aside. And it's just like him and I, my six-year-old who actually can play cards really well. And like, he's doing math at the same time, but he's like connecting with mom.

A lot of bad things going on in the world that honestly not many of us can have an effect on. Rising crime, failing schools, a tanking economy. What can you do about that? Well, not a lot, but you can get your own house in order. And above all, you can spend money with merchants, with companies that support your values, that are making this a better country and not a worse country. But how do you find those companies? Well, that's where Public Square comes in.

Public Square actively curates the best products from America's small businesses to help families lead happier, healthier, more productive and connected lives. That means fewer errands to big box stores, less searching to find wholesome alternatives to the garbage being offered in our culture, and more quality time spent with people you love most. If you want to fix your country, you've got to strengthen yourself and your home, and you need to spend your dollars where they do good and not bad.

rebuilding America takes place one small change at a time with wise spending, supporting people who support your family, not funding people who hate you. If you want to do that, public square.com is the answer. Public square.com. How rare are your views where you live? I mean, that's interesting. Yeah. I think it's fairly rare. You know, like one thing, for example, like my children are looking out the window and,

When we drive. So that's becoming more and more rare. Like children don't stare out the window. They don't have that moment to be bored. I'm like, I grew up staring out the window and looking at the clouds, like, and like looking for dead animals on the side of the road, you know, this is like the life I had. I'm like, you boys can do the same. I'm not giving them my phone to entertain them while we drive. Even if they're being a little fussy or whiny, like it's just not an option. Like I don't allow that.

And so we'll turn on stories. I'll let them pitch in. Sometimes they get to pick the music. So like my six-year-old, he either wants country music or he wants piano. That's his top two choices. And so I'll give them ownership sometimes like or take turns with sometimes we're listening to mama music.

Sometimes we're listening to baby music if the baby is fussing. And then sometimes we're listening to like classical piano or a story on the podcast audiobook. And so that's an example of like, yeah, we're using technology, but we're not like giving our phones to like shush our children, so to say.

And it's interesting because it doesn't really ever cross my mind to need to like quiet my children with a device. Like because we just have things established and they're already, you know, doing their own thing. How do you handle long flights?

Oh, we let them watch movies on long airplane rides and they're stoked and they're like getting their movie time. But then like it makes them look forward to traveling. And I feel OK with that because it's like we're not consuming all the time. And it's not like the 20th movie they've watched this this week.

So you said you had five friends from childhood who all kind of wound up living like you. Yeah, I mean, yeah, very similar. But we're all kind of scattered throughout the island. Sometimes we'll meet up at the beach, but we don't see each other as much as we'd like. But do you stick out in your community? I think I do. But also I would say a lot of people in Hawaii are spending, like we live to live. We don't work to live.

like we're all going to the beach as soon as we're not working. Everyone's like checking the surf forecasts and scheduling their life around the surf forecast. I mean, if they can, sometimes like you gotta work when you gotta work. But I feel like people in Hawaii, my friend actually brought this up the other day, like we very much so live to live and we're going to like enjoy the sunset a lot and like

you know, get out in nature because it's so easy to access out there. But there's also like... I've seen people live in beautiful places and never go outside. Yeah, true. That's probably true. Yeah. So I don't know. I try not to like pay attention too much to what everyone else is doing. But you're not considered like a freak or people are nice to you at the grocery store. Yeah, no. Like it's very like low key. I mean, I would say Hawaii has a lot of pocket of like...

You know, people living outside of the box. Yeah, but you're, I mean, how is Christianity viewed? I feel like that's an interesting one. And it feels like it's changing right now with like kind of this new world religion of like the pride, LGTQ plus whatever movement. Yeah.

You said the acronym wrong, and I'm glad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, anyway. But I feel like there's like this new surgence of a new religion, and it's almost like anti-religion. So, it doesn't matter what your religion is. It's like against all the religions, so to say. Unless the religion tends to be a little more like...

like, relaxed, so to say. It's definitely anti-Christian. And I think because it feels attacked by Christianity, because there's moral ground in Christianity, like, the Bible says, thou shalt not lie, but then it has all the other Ten Commandments. And when you look at someone's life who maybe lives more in that fashion, like,

they bring a lot less pain into the world. You know, when you're lying, killing, stealing, like that's not good for the world. And so like there's so much beauty within it, but people are rejecting it because there's a few of the things like you should be faithful. Before you're even married, you should be faithful. And society does not want to be faithful.

And so it feels unachievable and unapproachable because society has normalized being unfaithful. And so people feel defensive when they feel like they are being told what to do. Yes. But yet, someone who lives out a faithful life is such a blessing, right? Yes. Like, you know, when you meet a married couple who've been married 50 years, you're like,

That is incredible. Like, that's so beautiful. And they've been faithful and they've chosen to love and serve whoever they committed their life to, their spouse. And that is such a blessing in society. And it's likely that their children are more stable and healthy in society. And so...

I just get so stoked on that. Like, I'm like, when I meet the couple that's been married 50 years, I'm like, give me advice. Tell me, like, what should I do? Like, how can I achieve what you've achieved? Do you know? And what do they say? I mean, the answers are very different, but I'm just always willing to like ask them for advice. I can't think of any, any big ones. I can't think of any. Well, if you could give advice, you haven't been married 50 years, but you have a successful marriage.

We're at 11 years, and I would say the biggest thing in our relationship is truly the grace of God and looking to God to be the author and finisher of our faith, to understand that His grace is sufficient for me. And when I understand that, then I know His grace is sufficient for my husband.

And if God is sufficient for my husband, then that then leads me to be gracious on my husband and vice versa him on me. And that is the foundation of a healthy marriage. And no matter what you're going to go through and like how hard the seasons may be,

you're going to be able to work through it because your foundation is not in yourself and your ability to be the perfect husband or wife, but your foundation is in the ability to trust in God or not even the ability, but to allow God to work through your life. Yes. And so that would be my number one advice. That's great advice. So you said that you see the rise of a global religion. Are you ever confronted by people who believe in that religion? No.

Yeah, I mean... And how do you respond? Yeah, it's interesting because I've just been trying to unpack it so I can better understand it. And it's being promoted under the lens of being loving, right? Right. To be loving towards all those people, but to everyone around you, regardless of their views, right?

And so it's almost disregarding having an opinion or a worldview or, you know, a belief system. It's like disregarding having any kind of like moral foundation and that you have to love and be accepting of whatever they want to do, regardless of how destructive it may be. And so, you know, to me, like, I think faithfulness is essential for a healthy society.

And yet people don't want to embrace that. They want to be free, so to say, and do whatever they want with whoever they want at any point in time in their life. And what they don't understand is that that is painful in the long run.

to not have a relationship that is stable and faithful and committed and enduring, that is hard and that is painful. And yet society just wants to promote that as if it's a good, like it's, you know, do whatever makes you happy in the moment. And so I, the way I view it is like to be unfaithful is not good. It's not healthy. Um,

for a strong society. It doesn't lead for, you know, confident children when their parents are, you know, breaking apart. And, you know, maybe you have already, maybe you've already hit that point in life where you've split from your partner. It became unbearable. It was painful.

And I wouldn't go so far as to say like God's grace is not sufficient for you. Like His grace can be sufficient for you no matter how awful things may be. And He can work in your children's lives. So I'm not like saying, you know, but I just think that if society can strive to be faithful, like that alone could flip society on its head to be more beautiful and more, you

just full of life and passion and purpose. And, you know, I think most of society, when they see a married couple who are in good relations with one another 50 years later, like everyone's celebrating, like everyone's cheering that on and like in awe of that because it is hard and it is hard to make it that long, I think. Yeah.

And it's already seen to be, you know, you look at the divorce rates, so to say, and it's super hard out there. People aren't making it very far. Yeah, I think that's probably harder than sticking together long run. Yes, totally. So tell me about Brave Books. So...

I feel like the last few years has been crazy, starting with 2020. Like, I would say I was pretty passive when it came to, like, the worldviews, so to say. Like, I had my worldviews and I had things I wanted to live out in my own life, but I wasn't, like, hyper aware of, like, what's going on in society.

And then when like... I can't overstate, I've been to where you live, so I know how far away you are. Yeah. And so then 2020, 2021 hit and like all this craziness started happening. And like you can kind of start to see through like what is actually going on here. Because I don't think it's as simple as a virus being, you know... Oh, you don't. Just emerge from a wet market organically and... No. So then...

I just started to realize who I partner with and where I put my money matters. And as a professional athlete, you're given all kinds of deals that could make you money. But they're not necessarily good things. For example, I've had a professional career in surfing and I never took a deal with an energy drink.

Because I just don't believe in those. And that was an area where I drew the line because I didn't think it was healthy and it's not something I want to promote to anyone, let alone children who look up to me. What if it was Mountain Dew Berry Blast? No Mountain Dew Berry Blast either. Okay. Just what I'm trying to find your red lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I do drink coffee, so I might have promoted a little coffee drink here and there. I love coffee. Um,

But I'm promoting smoothies and I'm promoting finding your fuel and energy and food and taking care of yourself and just living a healthy lifestyle. But fast forward, 2020 and all that chaos hits and I'm like, what are we promoting? And so I get this opportunity to, I get Brave Books emailing me and being like, hey, do you want to write a children's book with us? And I'm like, oh yeah, let's go.

But this company is standing against a lot of the societal norms and they're trying to build the family. They're trying to build up children to have solid identities, to say no to the lies of the world, to...

be aware of like the challenges that they're going to face as they grow about life. And now I'm reading them to my children. I'm like, this is the raddest book ever to be able to read my children to sleep. And when you say something for people, not from Hawaii, when you say something is the raddest book ever, that's good. Good. Epic. Yeah. Solid.

So like, for example, one of my favorite Brave books besides my own, I mean, like I like my book, but I'm just not like that. But it's about this little boy who has to save his sister and he has to like go on this crazy journey to find this ice flower. And if he drips the little ice flower on her lips, she'll survive the pokey that she stepped on that's going to poison her. And so he's having to like basically become a man and like,

save his little sister. And it's like the sweetest little story. And now my three-year-old's like, I'm going to go find an ice flower for my baby sister. And it's like, it's computing in his head, like the life that he should live is to save the young woman in his life and to protect her and to, you know,

and face his fears on her behalf. And he goes on this gnarly journey and he's crying at one point. And it's just this rad little book. I think it was called The Son of Truth. No, no, it wasn't The Son of Truth, but that's another one that's really good too. But anyway, I'm like, my agent's like, hey, are you sure you want to partner with this company? Because once all the big corporational sort of companies see you partnering with Brave Books, they're not likely going to want to

partner with you as much anymore. And I'm like, oh my gosh, it felt like I was like walking off a cliff. And I think I kind of did walk off some sort of cliff, but like, it felt like a good one. A good cliff. Yeah. And then like, so I partnered with Brave Books. I wrote my book, Surfing Past Fear. It's a really sweet story, inspiring children to overcome their fears.

And then about nine months later, the World Surf League starts allowing males to compete in the female division. And I'm the only one walking off that cliff saying, no, like this is not okay. And we're not about to allow males to compete against. I'm not about to have males competing against me willingly.

And that was a whole nother just step of faith in that someone's got to say no. Nobody else did? Literally, I don't think one female, maybe like a couple lesser known, like kind of like not very vocal girls. I think there was a lot of women not for it, but...

The unfortunate thing was the World Surf League had all the athletes say like, hey, you're not allowed to say anything deemed derogatory or negative towards the World Surf League or we will fine you and disqualify you from competing. Yeah.

So shut up and obey. Yeah. And so that was like the contract they had signed the December prior to that year. And they literally get an email. They didn't even get a vocal warning like, hey, males are not allowed to compete in the female division as long as their hormones reach this certain level. And they didn't even get a warning. They just get an email in the inbox saying,

And I'm like, oh, no way. This is not okay. And I'm not for this. And I think I lost some major deals that year. I think I had had a deal on the table with Ford and that never happened. And I think it was around that time when I was like, nope, I'm not for this. And I made a public statement. And what kind of reaction did you get to that? Yeah.

I would say it was mostly positive, like, but there was some gnarly negative intertwined. But I feel like most of the I had people out of the woodworks, like stopping me in our local grocery store, like, thank you so much for speaking up. Like, we're so proud of you.

But there was also some really aggressive... I have this shark gang on TikTok that they're like, we're on Team Shark. What? Yeah, some crazies out there. But you know what? Whatever side of the spectrum you are, I feel like there's crazies in the mix of either end. There's just extremists that are hateful and harsh and will say gnarly things. And...

But it definitely was like an intense season and I probably let it like affect me more than I should, though I didn't look too much. I was like, hon, you can look if you want, but I'm not looking because I need to go to sleep tonight. Good for you. Not looking is a huge step. I know. Sometimes you just have to not look. I've never looked. I'm not a looker. Yeah, you're probably better off. Much better off. Yeah, and...

Yeah. So anyway, partnering with companies like Brave Books and now I'm partnered with Public Square. Like you can literally put your dollar where your values matter. And I think that really matters. Like there is a team of amazing people trying to build a parallel economy that isn't founded on these weird agendas and these.

Hate, division, death. Yeah, just this gnarliness or this new world religion that they're trying to shove down children's throats to make them more confused than ever. And so Brave Books is inspiring families to speak into their children's lives about

early on so that they can go into society and not be confused, not be hateful on themselves and, you know, reject their God-given beauties, but to embrace their God-given talents and the person that they've been formed to be. And I feel like this new world religion is like, oh, just be whatever you want, flow whatever direction you want. And like,

It really doesn't lead to happiness. It leads to despair and darkness. And, you know, you can even look at the statistics and know that, you know, some of these people that are choosing to amputate their body parts are not healthy and they're regretting their decisions and they're taking hormones that essentially make them get disease earlier on in life than they should.

And I'm like, we're cheering this on because they just feel like they want to be different than they actually are. Like I,

I have one arm. I would never wish that on anyone. Like, why would you amputate perfectly good body parts just to look a certain way? Like, it doesn't make sense to look and be a certain way and like to do such extreme measures. And yet society is like, let's go. Granted, I think after I spoke out against males in female sports, I think.

The majority of society is like, nope, this ain't okay. But they just might not be voicing their opinions. Did the surf league change their position? No. And I think ultimately they're trying to be accepted into the Olympic rules. So they're following the Olympic rules. So the Olympics...

is choosing to allow males into female sports. And so the World Surf League is just following their lead, so to say. The Olympics is a joke. Yeah. I mean, I would say the athletes are incredible and I would like highly recommend

I highly celebrate the athleticism and the hard work of these athletes, but the organization behind is definitely not serving the athletes to the best of its ability. And it's not looking at the realities of like a male competing against a female is just simply not fair and like should never be okay. I couldn't agree more.

So I wanted to end on something that we were talking about off camera that I thought was so cool and revealing. We're talking about social media and my daughter is a huge fan of yours. So she was showing me your social media last night. I don't actually have the app Instagram, but she's showing me this. Yeah. So cool. And she was saying, this woman has the most beautiful children I've ever seen. So we were talking about social media this morning and you were saying what you just said on camera, which is that you really notice its effects on young women.

And, but you've chosen to put your own children in some of your pictures and videos for a very specific reason that I want you to explain because I thought it was just wonderful. Yeah. I mean, I've gone back and forth on like, do I share my family life on social media or not? And I just, from my perspective, like I want to inspire the next generation to embrace and look forward to motherhood.

And there are people that I follow that make me like just look forward to waking up to my children every day. They have a really positive outlook on motherhood. They inspire me to be the best mother I can be. And they're not hiding their family life, so to say. And so there is this like kind of balance that like a lot of people will just refuse to show family. But I really want to inspire this next generation to

And I think like so many people have gotten so many messages of like, your family is so beautiful. Like, I want to be a mom someday. And like that to me is like so encouraging. And I just want people to know that motherhood is a blessing. And to be a mom is one of the greatest roles in life. And I feel like there's a big movement that is against that right now. And it's, you know, there's a lot of memeing around mothers

I just can't wait to go to bed. Can't wait to like silence the children, like just kind of like frustrations over like motherhood. And I want to just encourage women to know that motherhood is such a blessing and that children are loved.

You know, like that is the high of my day. I go to bed and even if I had an amazing day aside from them, like they are my highlight. They're the thing that I'm thinking about when I go to bed and I'm like, oh my gosh. Even on the rough days, I'm like, there's always that sweet moment that I am like thinking about how my three-year-old came and gave me a big hug and kiss when I came back from surfing or something like that.

And he was the highlight of my two-hour window. Like, it wasn't the surfing by myself. It was like the coming home and getting a big hug and kiss from my three-year-old. And so I'm hoping to inspire this next generation to know that motherhood is such a gift and to look forward to that because it's such a blessing.

I won't even ask why anyone would want to deny people the greatest pleasure in life. But I just commend you for reminding the rest of us that it is the greatest pleasure in life. It is. It's such a blessing. Bethany Hamilton, thank you very much. Thanks for listening to Tucker Carlson Show. If you enjoyed it, you can go to TuckerCarlson.com to see everything that we have made. The complete library. TuckerCarlson.com.