Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
This episode is brought to you by Experian. Are you paying for subscriptions you don't use but can't find the time or energy to cancel them? Experian could cancel unwanted subscriptions for you, saving you an average of $270 per year and plenty of time. Download the Experian app. Results will vary. Not all subscriptions are eligible. Savings are not guaranteed. Paid membership with connected payment account required.
What you are about to hear is a true story. It all begins in 2012. You might remember 2012 as the year the Curiosity rover landed on Mars, or the year that Gangnam Style took over the internet.
Maybe you remember the Hunger Games smashing the box office. For me, I remember the 2012 London Olympics. Please welcome Charlie Waxler. Make some noise because this is the last night here at London. So are you ready? It was such a big moment in my career as a broadcast journalist. A dream come true really to host the Olympic Games and in my home country.
Since then, I've gone on to present some of the world's biggest events and as a journalist tell many extraordinary stories, including this one. Lucky really, because also that year, you probably remember that the world was supposed to end. I don't remember exactly why it was supposed to end, but 2012 was supposed to be it for all of us. Well, I can definitely say whoever thought that was very clearly wrong.
But for one young woman living just outside of San Jose, California, 2012 was the year her world would turn completely upside down. Late that year, a brand new blog popped up on a website called Blogspot. Their homepage heading was simple: "My Story, Our Journey." A post appeared. What the heck is Hodgkin's lymphoma?
My goal with this blog is to not only keep friends and family in the loop, but serve as a resource to all those newly diagnosed. Doctors don't provide great detailed information, and the internet is not your friend when you're diagnosed with a disease. I have Hodgkin's lymphoma, and it's been quite the journey to figure it out. The author, Amanda C. Riley. I'm Charlie Webster. You're listening to Scamander.
I'm Amanda. Nice to meet you. Amanda Riley, A-M-A-N-D-A-R-I-L-E-Y. I work on the campaign for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and I'm also a stage four refractory blood cancer patient. Amanda, then 27, had just given birth to her first child. Amanda's blog posts are read by actor Kendall Horne.
Before I was pregnant, they diagnosed me with lupus. The diagnosis stuck for quite a while. After Carter, our son, was born, my blood counts dropped so dramatically that it threw another flag. It's hard to imagine what it's like for Amanda, the joy of becoming a mother, rudely interrupted by some heart-wrenching news. Her life will never be the same again. After a vat of tests, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma.
Back then, the blog was the dominant way to express yourself and reach a public audience. Instagram was still being used to share grainy filtered photos of your vacation. In fact, Harry Styles joined that year and his first post was a grainy filter photo of a bunch of deer in a field. Michelle Obama signed up for her own Twitter account and posted, "Hi everyone." TikTok didn't exist.
Bloggers were the original influencers, and Amanda C. Reilly was beginning to build her own online following by sharing her cancer journey with other young people affected by Hodgkin's lymphoma. I am currently in a support group for young adults facing a stem cell bone marrow transplant. We have to write letters to loved ones to be given out if the big bad sea wins. We have to write an unobtainable 10-dream bucket list
I'll start with my 10-point bucket list. One, witness the Northern Lights while staying in a... She was putting out this blog like a weekly, couple times a week, and it was really like a soap opera. It was very easy to get sucked into the writing of it. Two, finish my dang doctorate and finally become Dr. Riley. Three, take my husband Corey on the field to meet the 49ers. Four, take my kids to... Right after she had her first child...
They ran some tests and that's when they found out it was almost like the pregnancy was masking it or there was some confusion that they couldn't figure it out. But they figured it out and it was like, okay, you've got a brand new baby and you have cancer. Just my scattered thoughts. Glad we finally have a diagnosis. Survival rates for Hodgkin's are outstanding. I have amazing friends and family to get me through this. God is good and everything happens for a reason. And that's where I kind of
Amanda and her husband Corey needed help with the new baby. They enlisted the support of a woman named Mahasti, who ran a daycare out of her home.
When I spoke to Mahasti, her fourth grandbaby had just arrived. I'm spending time with my grandbaby. That's how I'm doing today, yeah. How old's your grandbaby? Almost two weeks old. Congratulations! Thank you. Thank you. That's very new. Yes. Mahasti ran her daycare for almost 32 years. I picked and chose my parents to be in my house. I was picky. Who comes to my house, who doesn't?
When Amanda and Corey walked to my house, they were really nice. I said, wow, what a good looking couple. And they seemed like they had their life together. They came for an interview. She was breastfeeding the baby and Corey came in. You know, I wanted to see if she's comfortable sitting there feeding the baby, breastfeeding the baby. So she came in and, you know, sat inside the house. We talked. It was a good conversation, you know, really comfortable. She loved that baby.
A month or two months, them being coming to my house, that one day they came, they were all dressed up like Sunday suit, both of them. And they walked in, I said, "What's going on?" And they said, "Amanda has a doctor appointment." And they left, and then next thing you know, the word cancer came out, that she has cancer, and they're gonna be going for treatment. So that's how it started, the whole thing.
I have the best husband anyone can ask for. Worried how it will affect my friends, family, Corey, but especially the new baby Carter and my bonus daughter, Jessa. I just remember we were actually in the car on our way to church and Amanda started crying over this song that was playing. And I was like, what's wrong? What's wrong? And that's when she told me. That's when they told me. What did she say?
I don't remember exactly how the conversation went. My dad was chiming in and everything too, but she just told me that she was sick and it's going to be a rough road ahead. This is Jessa, Amanda's now 19-year-old stepdaughter.
Though Amanda mostly referred to her as: "My bonus daughter." "Bonus daughter." "My amazing bonus daughter." "My bonus daughter." "Beautiful bonus daughter." Amanda married a man called Corey. "My amazing husband. He's my rock, my shoulder, my secret keeper." Corey had a daughter from his previous marriage, the aforementioned bonus daughter, Jessa. "I remember Amanda saying she was in pain, that she just didn't feel good.
Amanda stayed in her bed all day. She couldn't get out of bed. It was heartbreaking. She was my family, and I wanted nothing more than for her to just be happy and healthy and be able to do the things she wants to do. What was that like for you? I was terrified. Jessa had already witnessed what cancer can do to a loved one. I knew that my sister had cancer, and that was really hard for her.
And I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if she was going to die. Jessa has an older half-sister called Jamie, who was diagnosed with cancer when the two girls were only young. To understand how Amanda fits into these girls' lives, we have to rewind about 10 years. I was diagnosed with cancer when I was eight. This is Jamie, the half-sister. Jamie has a different father to Jessa, not Corey, but they have the same mom.
The first thing that I was worried about was my hair because I knew that was the only thing I knew about being sick, having cancer, was that I was going to lose my hair. It was beautiful and it was tough. It was Jamie's battle with cancer that first brought Amanda into Jessa and Jamie's lives, 10 years before Amanda herself was diagnosed. Their mom, Alita, was looking for ways to create some normality for both girls. My daughter, Jamie, had leukemia.
Jamie was going through her treatment and she was constantly neutropenic, which means basically she couldn't be around anybody. She couldn't get sick. So she was in the house a lot.
A college student, Amanda, then just 17, turned up on Alita's radar. My sister, she goes, "Oh, I know somebody who does cheerleading at the gym. You'll really like her." And I said, "Okay, well, let me talk to her." So I talked to her over the phone, and Amanda started coming over and teaching Jamie cheerleading. She just kind of almost like clicked right in with family.
What was she like when you first met her? She was really sweet. You know, she was young. She was 17. Just a really nice girl. Did you like her? Yeah, I did like her. She would come out on our boat, out on the lake, and the kids liked her. Jessa, I think at the time, was maybe six months old. She was just a little thing. So it kind of gives you, like, how long she's been in our lives. That's how I met Amanda, and that's how our family met Amanda.
At the time, Alita was married to Corey. Yes, the same Corey, Jessa's dad. Jessa felt like she gained another cool big sister when Amanda came into their lives. Kind of sounds weird, but when I was growing up, Amanda really did feel like a big sister. Take us out to go shopping and get our nails done. I thought it was all very nice as a kid, you know what I mean? And so I just automatically liked her.
She'd ask me how I was feeling about things with mom and dad and how everything's going and yeah, school, just overall life. Jamie felt the same about Amanda. Amanda would come over and teach me how to dance and do cheerleading and stuff. And I looked up to her. Like, I really liked those interactions that we had. Like, she was a friend to me at the time. Obviously, she was much older than me, but I looked up to her. She was my buddy.
If anybody could understand what Amanda was about to face, it was Jamie. She'd already been through her own intense battle. I always try to look at everything positively. And I've been like that since I was a kid. I've always been a bright side of the, you know, brighter side of things kind of person. But it sucked at first. It was a shock.
I was holding on to my hair, but once that chemo really took its course, it was just coming out and it was clumps and clumps. And it was to the point where I'd go to bed and then I'd wake up and lift my head off the pillow and there would just be locks of hair on the pillow. So we eventually made the decision to shave it off so it wasn't such a mess.
That first instant, I was like, this is really me. Rubbing my hands on my bald head. Really sucked when people would call me a little boy. They'd always be like talking to my mom, whatever, like, oh, him, he, mama, girl, damn it. Try to wear as much as much pink and sparkles as possible. And no, I still got called a little boy. I think two years. It was two years when I was too sick to go back to school.
May 10th of 2005 was my, what I say is my final day of recovery. I still had treatments and stuff after that, but that's when I got my tubes out and that was the big day. And so what was life like when you went back to school? I definitely felt different from the other kids. And for me, like what I went through was normal for me at the time. Like it's all I've known is my life and what I've gone through. This is part of who I am. I didn't really share anything.
Even with my family, honestly, I didn't really share too much about what I was going through. I feel like when I got better, we just kind of picked up the pieces as a family and like moved on. But there was a lot for me that I was still, shoot, I'm still processing. I didn't know how to address. I didn't know how to feel. I didn't know what to do with what I was feeling. Like I was just lost.
Amanda was 17 or 18 when she started coming around. She treated me great. I was still in treatment. My hair was growing back. I was sick, but I was healing. She taught us cheer and dancing and stuff. She was just a good friend to us. She'd take us to Build-A-Bear. She worked at Build-A-Bear at the time. We would go to her dorm. We'd go hang out, watch movies. She'd do our hair and makeup.
She was very much a good role model, a good, you know, positive influence on me. How old were you at that time? Probably anywhere between eight and like 10 years old, somewhere around there. She was over for birthday parties and everything too. I was actually just looking at a picture of my 10th birthday. That was my final year of battling my cancer. And she's right there. I have a picture of me sitting on her lap.
on my 10th birthday. She really was. Every, you know, birthday party, this and that stuff, like, she was around there with us. Alita's mom, Gail, was supporting the family as best she could when Amanda started coming to the house. She was giving Jamie cheer lessons. We met her at Alita's house, at her house. They didn't want to send Jamie to school. So she was being homeschooled by Alita at that time.
So having Amanda come gave Jamie an outlet, and she did it with her cousins. We were thrilled. We were impressed that Amanda, that she'd take the time to do this for a sick child. And, you know, we had a positive outlet on her at that time. How would you describe her? A cheery, bubbly girl. Amanda seemed like a really good kid, to be honest.
As a young teenager, Amanda was having a positive influence on sisters Jamie and Jessa. But the opposite was happening within the family dynamic. Corey seemed to favor his biological child, Jessa, over Jamie. And things were breaking down between him and Alita. I didn't think things were right when Jamie really didn't want anything to do with it. Something was wrong with it.
I would go over and he would fix dinner for him and Jessa, but he did not fix dinner for Jamie. It was upsetting to me, very. That's when I first, I guess, got a not a very good vibe from Corey. That was just not a good time at all, at all.
He would just favor her more and like everything revolved around Jessa and like Easter would come around or Christmas and stuff and we'd get like little things. But then here comes Jessa's present and it's this like giant thoughtfully put together like it's this big boisterous present.
And like, oh, well, thanks still, I guess. Like, I don't know. It's a tough spot because you don't want to feel unappreciative. But at the same time, like you can tell who the favorite is and like you could just feel it just felt not right. Shortly after that, my daughter called me and says, Mom, Corey's leaving. Corey's leaving and he's taking my daughter, Jessa.
They would like bicker and fight like any couple does, my mom and Cory, but nothing like super alarming to us kids anyways, to me. But one day he just showed up with a U-Haul truck and a trash bag and just started taking stuff and said he was leaving. Like there was no conversation leading up or anything. He just kind of came and started packing up his stuff and said, yep, I'm leaving.
But it was after Corey and my mom divorced that that friendship started between Corey and Amanda. And then Amanda really became a part of the family when she married my sister's dad, which was odd to me too. Yep, you heard it right. Despite the 12-year age gap, Corey got together with Amanda after Corey and Alita split up.
Hey, it's Kaylee Cuoco for Priceline. Ready to go to your happy place for a happy price? Well, why didn't you say so? Just download the Priceline app right now and save up to 60% on hotels. So whether it's Cousin Kevin's kazoo concert in Kansas City, go Kevin! Or Becky's bachelorette bash in Bermuda, you never have to miss a trip ever again. So download the Priceline app today. Your savings are waiting. ♪ Go to your happy place for a happy price ♪
What did you think when Corey got with Amanda? I thought it was weird as hell. She was introduced to our family knowing that he was married to my mom. You know that's a married man and you know the family. I guess I wouldn't go as far as saying a part of the family, but I guess she was.
It's just weird to think about how everything panned out. And how are you invited into someone's home to be a friend to their kid and teach them how to dance and all that stuff? You've taken care of the kids a certain amount of time. And then just a couple years later, you marry that man. I took his number off of work and helped Ellie the best I could to keep things together and pull things together.
Her sister moved in to help her out when he left Alita. He wanted Jesse to himself. How did that affect Alita? It brought her to close to a breakdown. She went through to, I would say, at least three or four years that we kept trying to glue her together. It was rough. We did everything we could to help her. Corey and I got divorced.
Amanda and Corey, I guess, started flirting back and forth. Corey and Amanda, I think, are 12 years apart. So it's weird talking about it, but it is very strange talking about it. Why is it strange you talking about it? You know, my daughter's right here. So I try not, I don't really want to say anything bad, but, you know.
Despite everything that had gone on between Alita and Corey, Alita didn't feel right speaking bad about Corey in front of their daughter, Jessa. Jessa, as so often happens with children when parents split up, was caught in the middle of her dad's new relationship with Amanda. Never mind the fact that she now had to deal with her childhood friend becoming her stepmom. As soon as they got together, Amanda became very overbearing and really did step into that parent figure, but it was...
It was a lot. I wasn't used to that with her, and so it was just really weird to me. Yeah, when I first heard the news, I'm like, what? Like, I would never imagine in a million years, you know? Amanda, I call and ask what we're doing and how the kids are, whatever. So would she come and see you and the kids? Well, once I found out she was hanging out over there with Corey, made it very clear, if you're going to be over there, you're not coming here. That's just all there is to it, just done. Then all of a sudden, one day...
I get paperwork from the court saying that they want full custody of Jessa. I called Amanda and I said, because I'm thinking, you know, she's going to be on my side with this because I'm the mom. Why would anybody, you know what I'm saying? I said, Amanda, why is he filing for full custody of Jessa?
She goes, "Well, we just think it would be better if she was over here with us." Excuse me? Oh, I lost it with her. What did you say? I called her a bitch and probably a little more than that, you know, because it's like, how can you do that? You're supposed to be my friend.
You know, if there was ever issues with Corey and I were arguing about something, I'd be like, Amanda, can you straighten him out, please? You know, joking around. Straighten him out. And, you know, and she's like, oh, yeah, I'll talk to him. We'll figure this out. So it was kind of like she was almost like the go between in between. So you had a good relationship with him. For a little bit, yes, until they wanted full custody. And, you know, I just felt like it was a stab in my back. I just kind of remember hearing more that court things were going on and
As time went on and more court dates started showing up, I just remember things getting messier and messier. Like, first, I started off by being alienated from my mom. Things just became a lot more complicated from that point on, and things just weren't really the same with my dad and Amanda. It was around this time that Alita found out that Amanda had cancer. I believe Corey told me
And of course, like, my heart just fell apart because I took care of a daughter for two years and nine months who went through chemo, and it's not a fun thing. And I knew that they had some trials ahead of them. Alita emailed her attorney with the news. This was to my attorney. September 2012. "Just wanted to say hi. I've been working and just dealing with the stress of life," laugh out loud.
I'm not sure if you know, not sure if Corey told you, but Amanda was diagnosed with lymphoma. She will have surgery on October 3rd and then will undergo chemotherapy after that. Jessa will probably have a lot going on in her little mind. She knows that Jamie had cancer and got through it. Jessa was little and I'm sure she does not remember, but she knows what her sister went through.
I feel bad for them. I know you have been waiting for me to get you the information on the checks I've paid to Corey." Corey and Amanda were going through financial difficulties, so Alita was paying child support even though they had joint custody of Jessa. A court battle was still ongoing because Corey and Amanda wanted full custody. "And of course I was worried about how Jessa was going to get through this as well. You know, try to put differences aside, it doesn't matter at that point.
Cancer's cancer. If somebody's going to die, you're going to do everything you can to try to make everything run smoothly. You know what I mean? This was also taking a toll on Amanda. She took to her blog to talk about how she was feeling. My mind was so foggy and everywhere else besides where I wanted it to be. I was so tired from all the hospital doctor's visits, trying to figure out finances.
a teething toddler that has recently decided not to sleep the night, and dealing with a really invasive, exhausting custody court situation to protect my beautiful bonus daughter. The bonus daughter that Amanda refers to, again, is her stepdaughter, Jessa. And even with the friction in the family over her custody, they all felt for what Amanda was going through.
Even Jess's grandmother, Gail. Yeah, we felt bad for her. We, you know, we prayed for her. We just hated to see anybody go through that. It's hard. It's not an easy thing to go through. Well, I've almost made it through the first week of chemo. When I got home, I mostly slept and slept. The vomiting was pretty brutal, but thankfully only lasted while at the hospital. The second day, I felt like I had the world's worst flu.
Day three is my arch enemy. I get to throw headaches, body aches and stabbing stomach pains in the mix. Jamie, what was it like when you first found out Amanda had got cancer? For me, when I was sick, I didn't understand what was going on at first. I didn't realize how sick I was. The whole gravity of it didn't really set in with me as a kid because it's a lot.
All of this was happening to me and I didn't fully understand it. But I remember thinking, like, Amanda's grown going through this. Like, she knows what's ahead. That's scary. So I remember just feeling very scared for her and sorry for her because I know what it's like. I mean, you have to have some kind of sympathy, right? I just started crying.
I was literally in my room and I had these stupid papers in my hand. Alita called Amanda to try and smooth things over and end the infighting. I loved my daughter. Like, why can't we share her? Why can't we all just share her? There's no reason. There's no reason we couldn't have all co-parented together. None. Zero. It was that very phone call that it just literally turned everything, like,
Turned it around. It's like once things didn't go her way, then everything just went south. Sharing was off the table, so the custody battle dragged on with no end in sight. But Amanda's cancer brought her, Corey, and Jessa closer together as a family. A big thank you to Jessa, my little rock star, for being so supportive and sweet.
The family support became even more important as Amanda's cancer got worse. She continued to talk about her experience on her blog. The doctor said there is no chance of my hair staying and I should cut it short.
Corey sat with me and held my hand. Best husband ever. Amanda's blogs weren't just filled with words. There were hundreds of heart-wrenching and raw, intimate pictures detailing her journey, from copious vials of blood taken for testing to step-by-step photos of her hair falling out. I was invited to attend the Look Good, Feel Better seminar by the American Cancer Society. It was so cool.
I was among other women undergoing chemo. Best part, we got a huge goodie bag of makeup. Chanel, Avon, Bobbi Brown, Clinique, MAC, Estee Lauder, scarves, hats, and two wigs. I got a natural brown wig, but I will also be a rockin' platinum blonde. Why? Because I can. And then she stopped. After posting regular updates about her cancer journey, the blog goes dark.
Six months go by with no posts, no pictures, nothing. Not a word. Until, out of nowhere, a brand new post appears alongside photos of Amanda and her family celebrating in party hats with some amazing news. Screw you, cancer. I win. 12 months of testing, 8 months of chemotherapy, and today is my day of bliss. We won.
Neat little happy ending, right? Well, actually, Amanda's story is only just getting started. I'm Nancy Muscatello and I'm an investigative producer. I'm based out of Los Angeles, California. One of the things I do often in my field of work is I post on Facebook and different social media looking for cases, looking for tips, looking for information on the next story I can pursue.
One day after I posted on Facebook, I received an email. It was an anonymous email. They basically said, "There's someone out there you need to know about, and if you could do anything about it, you know, you should." And that really intrigued me. I was like, "Hmm, okay, let's see what this is." There were links to a blog, and the blogs were written by a woman named Amanda C. Riley. The writer of the email that dropped in Nancy's inbox insisted on anonymity. Nancy went straight to Amanda's blog
and she couldn't stop reading it. Amanda's super cute. She's bubbly. She's charismatic. You can tell from her writings and her blog that she had as one of the first things I looked at. I mean, she just, just super, just like a little sister. Like I would look at her and probably think like, oh, this is a little sister, a little someone that I would definitely want to know more about and feel terrible for and feel like, wow, this is ours.
Like, this is sad. When you read the blog, like, it's very detailed. At first glance, I was like, "Wow, there's a lot of pictures here. There's a lot of family. There's a lot of friends." And it was the ups and the downs, the good, the bad, you know, the help, the no help. It read like a soap opera, you know, that you get sucked in and you're like, "Oh, yeah, I know. Wow, this is terrible. This woman has cancer. Like, this information seems accurate."
Only a few months after Amanda's cancer win, a group email was sent around to all her friends and family with some terrible news. Things were about to get much worse for Amanda. Hi, friends and family. We are reaching out to all of you to share some sad news today. Unfortunately, we found out a few days back that Amanda's Hodgkin's lymphoma has returned.
The next year will be unimaginably more challenging for she, Corey and the kids than the last year was. The email went on to specifically detail what Amanda was about to face. She faces months of vicious chemo, full body radiation, followed by a bone marrow transplant. The only problem? The cost.
One of the major obstacles Amanda and Corey will face through this fight will be the sheer cost of the treatment. We're working on an easy solution to help everyone offer financial assistance customized to fit anyone's budget. We believe in the power of prayer and positive thinking and know each of you will hold Amanda in a special place in your heart. I read through the blog and I'm reading it over and over and things aren't adding up. Things aren't making sense the way I thought they should. Something's just not right.
Scamander is hosted and produced by me, Charlie Webster, and produced by Jackson McLennan. Amanda's blog posts are read by actor Kendall Horne. Peggy, Amanda's mom, is read by actor Jill Marie Hoffman. Edit and theme music by Nico Pallella. Assistant producer Casey Hertz. Assistant editor Seema Grewal. Additional production support from Stephen Sletten, Will Hagel, and Nicole Urban.
Executive produced by me, Charlie Webster, and Nancy Moscatello. Scamander is a Lionsgate Sound production engineered by Pilgrim Media Group.
