Farrah Abraham: Trauma and Comedy 01:26:07

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Is this thing on? Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker, now hosts the podcast Dumb Blonde. Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child. And here we are. That's right.

What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today, I have a mother-daughter duo, which is a first for me because I normally don't do mother-daughter duos. But these two have grown up together in the public eye, and I figured what better duo to bring on than Sophia and Farrah Abram. Yay!

I know. What a good duo. That is true. I feel like we've definitely grown up together. I am her mom. But yes. I just want to say you look beautiful. Thank you. I feel like the tabloids attack you so much for like

that you get done. And I mean, you know, they attack me too. So I know how it feels. But it's like seeing you in person. I'm like, you look fucking gorgeous. Like, what are they talking about? Yeah, thanks. You know, I can't help but social media cameras look like that cracks me up because literally as we're flying in here, I'm like, Sophia, someone tagged me on this crazy like artwork of my botched face.

that doesn't look like my botched face. I'm like, this is funny today. This gives me some laughter. Sophia just like laughs at it too. But I'm like, I'm really happy I don't do like much work. I take things out of my face. I really am on a journey of like really getting back to myself and

And so it's kind of funny when I just do a live and our cameras are weird and people think I've gone crazy with plastic surgery, but that's not the case. Well, I figured it out because I went down a wormhole just like reading. And it's because you use filters. Yeah.

And so that's honestly, I, the same thing was happening to me. People were like, how much work have you had done? And I'm like, bro, I've had Botox and fucking a little bit of filler in my lips done. Like, what are they talking about? And that stuff is gone. The filters that we use make us look like we have way more work done than we do because you're sitting here and you look gorgeous. So I'm just like, but I do have my,

my Farrah filter that has like had billions of hits and I love it. And if I don't like to get ready that day, I will totally use that. Yeah. What have you had done so that we can clarify that with everybody? Well, I, you know, okay. So I will just say I have had a nose job. I have had a chin implant. I,

And then I just dabble here and there with fillers at times that go. You know, they stay, they go. But I also, like, was trying to do a lip implant. And I was on Botch, the show, because I almost died from that. So – and I took out my chin implant. But for some reason – You did take out the chin implant? Yeah, I took out my chin implant. And for some reason, people always go back and compare –

Farrah looks great like this with the face that had a chin implant, a swollen nose from a surgery. Just I was actually really depressed at that year of my life. Like that was the most what's it called? Like when you're just the lowest, your lowest point.

Yeah, it's like a face dysmorphia. Like when you have body dysmorphia. I had that at that time when I had that chin implant. And so for people to say, oh, we love Farrah better than when I was definitely like anti myself.

And peer pressured and just like, oh, I want to look good. That was just like way too much. So I love my face now. I love who I am. I love coming back to myself. Maybe like just rejuvenation and skin tightening and really taking care and upkeep of myself is what I pride myself on. And that's like...

Good self-love. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, no. I think people get it twisted. They're like, women get fillers and Botox and stuff like that. They're like, oh, she must be unhappy with herself. And it's like, no, I like to invest in myself. Your body is an investment. It is an investment.

It's a temple. You got to dress it up or dress it down, whatever you want to do, but it's your body to do that with. So, well, yeah, enough about your looks. I just wanted to hone in on that because I feel like the tabloids just tear you apart for that. And that's not fair. No. So I don't like that at all. But Sophia, we have you sitting here too. How are you doing, baby? I'm doing good. She just got her tongue pierced. So she said she doesn't want to talk a lot.

The tongue piercing actually caused a ton of controversy. I know people hate a lot on like every single piercing I get and it's just like chill. Like it's not that big of a deal, you know, but I do know some people are really strict about that growing up and um,

But it's just me and I feel like getting piercings enhances my looks and I feel really confident about them and I make sure to get ones that I know I would actually look good in. So yeah, I'm confident in my piercings and I love them and they are all feeling really good. I love that. I went through a piercing phase when I was young too. I did it behind my parents back though because they wouldn't allow it.

How do you feel about everybody just questioning your parenting because you let your kid get, what is it, a tongue piercing and snake bites? Yeah, good point, Bunny. Segway into how I feel. So we've had parents even come with us to the piercing place like on her birthday.

And I do see the psychological like spiral that other parents go through when they're seeing Sophia choose this consent to do this. I have to sign off as a parent and give consent to it. And I'm not there to freak out, go in a spiral, like shame, blame, reject my child. I'm here to make sure my child's seen, she is safe and she is supported. Hmm.

So if those three things are always top of mind, then I know that what I'm doing, the footsteps that I'm walking in my parent journey are right where they need to be for my child. So yeah, I could say a lot about other parents and what they feel about me and my daughter's friends' parents. But I also know once they calm themselves and maybe do a therapy session, they usually text me

And really are like, wow, you opened my eyes to parenting in a different way. I love that. Yeah. I was never the girl, though. I was never the kid growing up to be like, could I get a piercing? Could I get a tattoo? Could I get this? Could I get that? It was just no one ever had any of those things growing up. And so I just never thought about it. And when...

I'm like famous and people are just like I'll give you free this free this free this free tattoos like I could tattoo up my whole body I could do all that I just myself personally I'm not prepared for that but I see like Sophia is prepared she's at that point in her mental state in her life and she can do that and I'm not the person to I don't know I've just gone through this whole thing with a

And I learned so much about consent culture and leading with that and allowing someone to have their will, their rights, their freedoms. And I think that's just very important on maybe the littlest things like a piercing or tattoos. And so I'm just, again, those three things, seeing, safe, supported. That's all I need to be for my child.

I never thought that I would agree with you more. I totally feel the same way because I feel like in this generation of parenting and children, because we have a 16-year-old, she's about to be 16, there's so much more shit. You got to choose your battles. There is so much more shit, worse shit that these kids could get into. Excuse my language. Yeah. That these kids could be getting into. And it's like if they want to get a piercing,

They're going to, it's either it's a phase or it's not. I kept mine for 20 years. You know what I'm saying? So it's like if Bailey wants to come to me and get a piercing, that's going to make me happy because she could be like doing other things that are way worse behind my, our parents, you know, her parents back. And I just totally agree with that. I think making kids feel seen and heard and letting them be who they want to be and having free will is, um,

an amazing route to go how do you feel about that do you love that your mom lets you get piercings and stuff like that yeah i'm very grateful that she supports all my decisions and my piercings we love your look we were just talking about it i was like if i could look like sophia i would because that's really how i look on the inside i love sophia's look too and i'm happy with whatever look she decides and what she loves um

Yeah, I just feel like I was just raised in a different way. Like, I was called a witch for wanting a rhinoplasty. By your mom? Yeah, by my mom. So...

I know that that doesn't give anyone self-worth, like feeling worthy. And that is number one when you're getting, you know, if you have fame or if you have anything, your self-worth needs to be built up so that you are not vulnerable for other things. Like I was very much predatored on and still dealing with some of those problems. So I'm just trying to set up a next generation to have that

safe space. Yeah, that safe place, be seen, know who they are and not seek that in other people. Not seek validation in other people. Speaking of moms, would you consider your mom your best friend? I mean, yeah, she is my mom. And my best friend. Yeah, thank you so much.

I love you. You're so cute. I'm so cold, but I want to give you a hug. I love you, honey. I love you. You guys have pretty much grown up together. The world has watched both of you guys grow up. Like literally you as a baby, you have grown up in front of the world. And I think that's why everybody is so obsessed with you now. Like you're kind of like the new it girl on TikTok right now because everybody's like, what's Sophia doing? Yeah.

Sophia does not like to show much that she does, though. That could be the emo in her, but yes. I'm not emo, I'm goth. Oh, goth. That could be the goth in her. Describe to us, explain to us what the difference between emo and goth is, just in case people at home don't know. So I do know that there is many types of goths out there, like traditional goth and just, I would say, regular goth. But emo is like...

regular dark clothes I feel like and accessories I mean today I'm kind of emo because I didn't want to go all out um but goth I feel like is like black dresses corsets and lots of jewelry sometimes belts um I follow a lot of goth people on TikTok and they're so cool I admire them and I want to be like

traditional goth, I feel like, one day. But yeah, today I'm kind of emo, I would say. I love all these spike bracelets. I love goth, I love emo, I love it all. I always thought it was music selection. I always thought, Mimi, haven't we talked about this before? Isn't, like, emo and goth, like, music selection? Isn't it? Music in the interest of, like, the culture. Because, like, an emo culture is significantly different than a gothic culture. Like, what your interests are, per se, of those things. And their music is completely 50-50.

Right. Yes. That's awesome. Farrah, do you feel like you are having an opportunity to be the mom that you never had with Sophia?

Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's the opportunity to be the mom that I never have, but I have one opportunity to be the best parent that I can be in my life. I have no competition with my mom, my grandma, my sister. I have no competition with anyone to be the best mom. I am running my own race and being the best parent that I can be. And I was given eye-opening experiences in my lifetime to say like,

I'm not repeating that with my child. So like public school, it wasn't going to be repeated. I had a superintendent as a neighbor, no matter how much we push and push and push to have a better, safer public school environment. It just never happened for me. Like fights, bad situations. And I,

I guess like when like a public or governmental system fails, I take it upon myself to just lead. So I found like best homeschooling practices and whatever else like for Sophia's career, those type of things.

I don't know. No one's laid out the... No one's laid out that path. So I definitely am just like I'm on this journey and figuring out as fast and as best as I can. I don't think anybody knows how to be a parent. I inherited a child and we're still figuring it out. Yeah. We got full custody of Bailey seven years ago and...

Nobody gives you a handbook and says, hey, this is how you have to be a parent. And there's also no one size fits all to being a parent. That's right. Every child is different. Yes. Every emotion, every personality, it's just all different. Yes. And so I think...

I think as long as Sophia is happy and healthy and feels like she's safe, you're already winning. Yeah. And do you feel these things, Sophia? Yes. She's shaking her head over here. Yeah. I mean, everyone is different. I mean, I got Sophia's brain scanned and I got my brain scanned. From Doc Amen, right? Dr. Amen. How was that? Because I was going to do that with him too, but I chickened out. Yeah, it is...

life-changing. I feel like that is literally what I mean to know yourself better than anyone else could tell you who you are. I think that's probably like the biggest gift in our journey of life is to know yourself, see yourself fully, not guess from a therapist and be like, oh, I have this, I'm dealing with this and well, let's try to like guess. But I also think for children who just aren't diagnosed properly with different ADA compliances,

I just was kind of tired of not having the help or the support and that's why we kept switching schools. But myself, I found out that I was like, ADA compliant, ADHD, I like when I was 29. And to go through my whole life of people just wrongfully firing me telling me I'm difficult, like girls not liking me, my family, like kind of disowning me, I just was like,

I can't be mad at them. I can't dislike them. I can't like have hate towards them. But I also know like I just need people who are educated around me. I need to thrive. I'm done with all that traumatic stuff.

crisis behavior and just I really want to have education in my journey now as parenting so so you feel like getting that diagnosis helped kind of clear things up for you of like oh this is why I've acted the way that I've acted and this is why people have perceived me of how I've been acting and I also think like dating when you know like what your brain type is and what you like um

I think only certain dating shows show like, oh, this is a pet peeve and this is what I don't like. But if we really like started employing like

brain matching and like those psychological factors we would find our soulmates faster we would understand what we need like what's going to be a good match for us so describe to me what a brain match is because i would like to know yes so dr amon has something free online and it's like a brain survey and you find your brain type so i have brain type two sophia's 10 right pardon me yeah that's

Sophia's very type 10. Can you describe what they are to me? Like what is a 2 and what is a 10? Okay, so part of me with my ADHD and attentive disorder is like I will like short-term memory loss. Like I can't recite it back. I'd have to look it up. So just being frank. But so mine's like, I don't even know. I forgot like the foods, types of friends, types of jobs. Okay, so it breaks it down like that for you. Yeah, they break it down. They kind of make it individualistic. And

And, yeah, so when I went on this, like, 12-step dating journey and learning how to date again, and we were talking so much. So she was like, go on all these dates. And I stopped doing dating shows because it just was not happening there. And I was, like, talking to these people in depth, like, about intentional dating, like, trying to figure out, like, their brain types. And sure enough, the boyfriend I have right now,

He has the same brain type as me. He took the survey and he's going to get his brain scanned. That's like us with the autism test. We don't know. Everybody that wants to come in our circle and hang out, take the autism test because I am high on the autism thing. So is Haley. And so is Mimi. We all have no idea. Oh, I'm going to give it to you. Oh, yeah. What is it? Rad's.

Yeah. We'll send it to you. I would love to take this autism test. No, please. You guys have to take it tonight. And I want to know you guys' scores. OK. So does this mean everyone has autism? I mean, I think a lot of us have a splash of it for sure. For some reason, that didn't show up on my brain scan. I just want to let you know. I don't know if I can be in your friend group. Yeah.

Does autism show up on brain scans? I wonder if it does or if it doesn't. I'm not positive about that. From what I know, he does describe how he diagnoses people with certain levels of autism and many different kind of brains. OK, I didn't know that.

I'm trying to think back. Well, anyways, there's graphs. I also did direct neurofeedback for my brain too after having a brain scan. And they talked about all different kinds of things to correct it, help those. So I did like 200 sessions of that.

That's amazing. I love that you're always working on yourself. Yeah, I did a whole year of that. Now I'm kind of done with it, but it was needed. When I think of summer smells, I think of sunscreen, salty beach air, barbecue on the grill, and unfortunately, body odor. Well, not this summer. Thanks to Lume, whole body deodorant, BO will no longer be an unwelcome guest at my summer plans. Their pH optimized formula is clinically proven to block odor all year.

all day and it's not just for underarms it's for everywhere we get odor pits privates feet under boobs you name it so no matter how hot it gets you can still smell fresh and feel confident from head to freaking toe baby ready to make this your freshest summer ever as a special offer new customers get 15% off

all Lume products with our exclusive code and link. Use code bunnyxo at lumedeodorant.com. That's L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. You guys already know I'm a Lume girl. I have to have it, especially when we're on tour, high paced shows, back to back, running around, armpits, sweating,

butthole marinating, just piddle juice pouring from all the holes. You guys already know that Lume is my go-to. Lume's starter pack is perfection for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. Again, as a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all

all Lume products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals 40% off their starter pack. Use code BUNNYXO for 15% off your first purchase at lumedeodorant.com. That's code BUNNYXO at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com.

Being an adult has its high points. Like you can eat ice cream for dinner anytime, or if you want to stay up all night, you can. But it's not always fun. You also have to do your taxes and figure out what's for dinner every freaking night.

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trauma therapy program? Yeah, I did. And I think it was, it's going to be two years in March. I did a trauma 12 step program. I think that's what it was like a recovery program and literally changed my life. So I had the reason why I finally went. I feel like a lot of us don't understand. Like if you could search up like spiritual melody chart, like,

I didn't know what that was at all until I stepped foot in here. But I saw it in life. All of us see it in life. Like when we're looking at someone going through a hard time, maybe depression, maybe anxiety, all of these things, their spiritual melody is being like,

upset. And when someone reaches such a certain level, they're at risk of harming themselves, death, whatever, attracting a lot of negative things. So at the time when I was going to the trauma center, I was kind of stuck in

in a repetitive pattern that was attracting a lot of criminal activity to me. And now it's so funny because after the center, I just attract the best people to me. Right. So I think that's something to keep in mind if you are feeling like, whoa, I keep dating lots of bad people. I keep like being attacked on the street. I keep having a lot of fights and arguments. It's because you need a reset. You need to recover. And a lot of people just don't think they deserve that.

trauma help. So when you went to that, what was this exact program? Was it like to actually treat like childhood trauma or was it like, Oh, so I was, um, sexually assaulted. Okay. Um, recently it wasn't like in childhood. And I think a lot of the people who I met, um,

they had significant amount of like sexual assaults, trauma, those type of things, very deep, like veterans were there. Um, all sorts of things that they had held on for a very long time. I think with one trauma, uh, like a sexual assault trauma, I don't think I could endure or live if I didn't go get help. So I was like, I need something. Um,

Can you talk about the sexual assault? What happened? Is this the situation that happened with the mayor? Yeah. I mean, we're like really dealing with all that stuff like right now. Yeah. So I don't like me to like hold anything back because I'm sure it would help so many people. But I also know like...

We are dealing with someone who is systemic, like habitually a rapist. So I probably don't want to give any fuel to that. But if we want to just talk about like great things for other, you know, like honestly, I said to myself this week because I'm dealing with so many legal issues. I said to myself, I was like, I think I'm going to have to break down and just go get

a support group because I'm like... It's got to be tough to hold all that in and not talk about it. Yeah, because again, like rapey vibes, right? Rape culture vibes, opposite of consent, consensual vibes is lying, continually like masking. And when you're going through a legal issue and someone's always lying and speaking for you and covering their ass and it's just like, huh, you know, I can journal about it.

But I also like – I truly like to watch movies that dive into like someone making peace, getting past it, and like moving on. So it's like I've made peace with it. I'm trying to move past it. But then you have these legal core problems that just go on for years, like my lawyer said at the beginning. Yeah.

And I just feel, you know, like my heart goes out to so many other rape victims who are like going through this stuff for years. It's just, it's really tedious. Yeah. It's very hard. I do think talking about it, like you said, is probably the best thing one for you therapy and two to help your, that's your testimony, you know, something that you've survived and that you've gone through. So maybe, uh, people are able to connect with you if they, you know, were to

were to know more details of what had happened or what is going on. Yeah. I mean, I think it's just, this is sad, but from reading so many legal documents about assaults, because again, I didn't understand the situation that I became a part of, which was like a sexual assault, like problem. And I,

So my lawyers just kept sending me a lot of like legal documents to read of like Jane Doe's. So I like would understand what it looks like, why this happens, like all these things. And then I got so interested in it and so passionate that I was like, oh, I'm going to go get a legal degree. I went down there, got my paralegal certificate and I'm getting ready to do a JD in law. But I think.

the comment like this is so weird that this happened at this time in my life but I saw like innocent people not being believed and then I saw a lot of people who actually lied

This could be men or women lie about being sexually assaulted. And I think learning from lawyers what we're looking at, how we're seeing that, how this comes up, you really know, like, to fight for your truth, to stand firm because others who lie and kind of, like, put it or

like men or women who they claim that they were assaulted by, that's like a whole other psychological thing. So I think there's like a lot of trauma work no matter what. Even if you're lying about it, if you're telling the truth. I've been going through all this stuff and breaking that down because I started writing a screenplay about it. And I used it in one of my Harvard classes for screenwriting. And I got to see it like acted out with actors and read. And I think like

Maybe just for me, I would feel safer showing that in like an artistic form, like a series. And I love watching movies and TV series that really help comfort people who are actually really going through a long, long legal battle.

with sexual assault because I think like Sophia showed me some funny episode on shameless about one of the guys like pretending that he got sexually assaulted and going in and going through this whole process and I think sometimes you need

You need someone like my daughter to let you laugh and make light of a really deep, dark situation that I was put on medication for. The medication wasn't helping. Were you raped? Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Sexually assaulted. Okay. Or I don't know what that means to you. So sorry. Yeah, I mean, there's so many... I'm like, I don't know if you know what I'm saying. No, you're good. There's so many different... Oh, I was like... Oh, okay. You know, falls under that umbrella. Sexual assault could be being groped, could be, you know, being kissed when you don't want to be or like this, like you... That's why I asked if you were raped. So this was like...

Oh, sorry. I didn't know that you didn't know that. Yeah. So there you go. It's like, oh, you know, sometimes you can limit yourself because you don't want to get too close to the problem at hand. Right. Right. Vulnerability. So, yeah, I was drugged and woke up like thinking, like, did someone set me up?

Like, are we both in this together? Who would do this? And then I realized it was him who did that. And I was stark naked, did not know where any of my clothes were. My necklace was broken, all that stuff. And it was just, like, flight. Like, I just, like, ran. I just really didn't know how to behave. Yeah. So...

doing the best you can. And I think for a lot of other sexual assault victims, you do the best you can when you are the crime scene straight up. It's just like a lot of people are like, I'm watching Crime Stoppers and Dateline and all these other criminal shows. But I think I was raised with that, too. I love watching criminal shows, too. But like,

When you're in it, it's way different. It was literally like... Sometimes I used to say like, you know, different red carpets are doing these things. Oh, it's so surreal. Being sexually assaulted and being like the crime scene was surreal. That was like...

It just felt like my brain and my body was not connected. And so I had to do a lot of therapeutic work, somatic experiencing work on that. That's heavy. I've never heard anybody refer to themselves as the crime scene. That's pretty heavy. That's deep. Yeah. Yeah, that's real. That's wild.

Moving on from that, I've heard you say a bunch of things in there. So let me see if I can catch up. You said you did a screenplay in your Harvard class. So are you attending Harvard or? So I actually got in an argument with Harvard about my neurodivergence. Okay. So even though I'm ADA compliant and turn that in.

Yeah, so that lady kicked me out. Not the lady with screenwriting. She gave me E for exemplary. She like raved. She was like, this is what you need to do. And I think sometimes when you are going through trauma, the power of the pen works.

And writing it and kind of sharing it in like a theatrical way. Like that has always been there for me. So like even when I was pregnant with Sophia, I lost her father. That was super traumatic for me. I was in acting class at that time. And my acting teacher was like, you need to continue this or just continue going to classes. He's just like, you need to use this as a power. So if anything, I would say that for people who are going through really traumatic experiences. So.

So you were going to Harvard and somebody kicked you out.

Yeah, in one of my other classes, neurodivergence was an issue for her. So even though that's against the law in education, educational places. So I have found better colleges. Gotcha. Yeah. When you just touched base on her father passing, can we talk about that? Of course. Because you were so young when that happened, and that had to have crushed you. It did. And you know what? Speaking of the trauma center, I know I went to the trauma center for a recent year.

that was traumatic. But I did not know that I should have gone to a trauma center at 16 when I lost her father.

Because, yes, that's the first time I was put on, like, medication. I was suicidal. Again, not knowing my ADA compliant disability and knowing how to deal with loss, it was just scary. And so, yeah, when I was at the trauma center, I met other women who were there because they lost their boyfriends in traumatic situations. Yeah.

and like other kind of like people who are just lost a lot of people. So I was like, why did I not come to the trauma center when I was 16 and pregnant and have all these cool tools now that I have

in my mind, in my brain at home, it really probably would have helped me bounce back quicker, maybe from a sexual assault or bounce back quicker from other traumas that I continually have. So I'm just, again, thankful for that. Circling back to the traumatic experience of losing her father, do you feel like your mom was not there for you emotionally whenever? Because it

it plays out on the show. You and your mom have a very tumultuous relationship where it's like very on again, off again. And I, I feel as a viewer that your mom almost wasn't emotionally there for you. And do you feel like that has been like a huge thing in you and your mom's relationship even to this day? Yes. Um,

You see like on this show that maybe my mom and I disagree about a lot of things. I would say in all because I had to like really, you know, like 12 step inventory trauma center. You actually write down, it's called the fifth step. You write down anyone you have relationships with. So I'm writing down my mom. I'm writing down my dad. Anything.

And what came up, just so you know, in those like 12 steps and like going through relationships and why maybe people saw like maybe I didn't feel like my mom was supportive. It's actually way more than just not having support.

It's like, was I seen? Right. She never saw how much I love someone. She came up after hearing that he had passed away, that she was happy that he was gone. And I think we might have our own feelings, like I would with Sophia and her boyfriends in those situations. But I do...

I do know that like I have reasoning and capability of understanding like someone has feelings here and I need to put my stuff to the side. That was crazy. But a lot of what came up at the 12-step trauma center when you're writing down your relationships is abandonment, abandonment, abandonment.

And most people will say, well, I didn't abandon you. Like you were living at my house. I was giving you shelter. I was doing this. But abandonment might come from not being seen, not being feeling safe. I didn't feel safe in that environment and not being supported. Like we say, just support. But it's really like a lot of those three things that I said I wanted to do for my daughter.

That I realized I did not have in my home with my dad, with my mom, maybe with my whole family at large when I look back at it. So there was no surprise. And once I got out of the trauma center, like I stopped talking to my dad. I stopped talking to my mom. I haven't talked to them in almost, I think my mom...

She was like at 30, so I'm 32. So everyone has been kind of around two years I've stopped talking to my family. Like I am so flourishing, happy, independent in my life. And it's good that I got to again write down inventory and see why and what. So there's these prompts about childhood, what I would like to say, do I want to write letters to them?

And half the letters I wrote when I was there, no one responded or no one wanted to talk about those things when I got out. So I'm just taught to be like, okay, that's where someone is. They can't meet me and I have to go live my own life. So that's what I've been doing. It's been really relieving, a relief. Yeah.

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without the ads. Does your relationship with your mom affect Sophia's too? Sophia, do you choose to talk? Do we call her grandma? Do you choose to talk to grandma or just because mom and her don't have a relationship, you choose not to also? Honestly, I'm really comfortable not talking to her at all and with my grandpa too. It hasn't really bothered me at all not talking to them over the years. Gotcha.

I'd have to say, like, anything that I do does not need to affect someone else. Right. A lot of the grandparents in my family, I've just noticed a habitual thing where they feel like Farrah's...

I'm the horrible person because I'm making someone else not talk to them. To be completely transparent, I saw that my daughter was being affected by their bad behavior every time that they were around. You know, to not feel loved, to not be heard again like as a kid or just be like just back and forth, stuck between all these things.

I can't say the word immature. It's just a lack of education of how to have communication. That's really just such a mess that I was raised in that I knew I did not want that for my daughter. And I was trying to be like a good daughter. And like I flew my daughter out to Arizona to meet her other grandparents. I've flown her back and forth for 16 years or whatever to like see her dad's side of the family.

Right.

It's been over a decade. Like, let's stop this charade. But more importantly, you're there for your daughter. Like, I don't see you without Sophia. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I am number one, I think. And you're making her feel every way that your parents never did. And to me, that's a sign of a good parent is breaking generational trauma and generational curses. Yeah. And I think you're doing the best that you can. All the way. And so it can be seen transparently that

Of who, what, everything, genetics, what's going on, why someone might be doing this, why someone might not. And to choose better choices. So Sophia was kind of the one to say like, I don't want to hang out or I need a break from certain grandparents. So the charade of the grandparents continually always acting like I hinder anything from

I've seen with clear eyes what it is now. And you just choose to remove yourself from a toxic situation, which that's not a bad... That doesn't make you a bad person. Especially if you said that you wrote them letters and you were trying to communicate how you were feeling and they completely told you like, look, I don't want to deal with this right now. So that's not fair to you because it's like, when is the time to deal with it? And that's fine if they're never there. So I'm just...

I'm just like, okay, I'm going to go live my life. And this is what I've been waiting for and healing. And I think like that's been so good for me to get out of trauma bonds. Like let's have bonds of like,

I don't even know, happiness. Yeah. So I'm just excited to build good, healthy, happy bonds and leave all those trauma bonds behind. And if other people would like to stay there, that's not me. It's not helping my mental health in any capacity. Yeah, absolutely. And so, yeah, from that, I was like, okay, I'm going to keep 12-stepping and dating and career and life. And it's really been beautiful. When you say 12-stepping, does that mean sobriety? Yeah.

Some people think it's about sobriety. I actually, I just have to say it like this. 12-stepping is about like the 12-step principles. So you don't have to, it's not about like drinking. It's like, I think there's humility, brotherly love. Like there's 12 principles of life that I think are just amazing and help me be my best self and connect and see myself and others. Like serving. So those are the 12-step things.

things I do in life. Gotcha. I've never heard of it. So that's why I hear, you know, like most people when they hear 12 steps are like, oh, okay, she's in the program or like, you know, doing the 12 steps for like alcoholism or I don't know if they have 12 steps for drugs. I'm not positive. Oh yeah, they do. There's 12 steps for everything. I honestly say like 12 steps for anxiety. I feel like I've looked at every group. Courts definitely had me do like

50 hours of AA and over that. But when I came to the trauma center, I was so disgusted, to be honest with you. I was so disgusted by alcohol and what alcohol had done because there was just alcohol involved with my sexual assaults or rape. And so everybody else maybe around me was like, I can't wait to drink. I can't wait to do drugs. And I was like,

Whoa, I could stay here all day long and I don't even care about that stuff. But I am super excited to learn about these principles and like see if it works. And like if I turn on church, does it connect? And like everything just really showed me like this is what I have been yearning for my whole life.

And so that's why I just say I'm 12 step in dating. I'm 12 step in my career. Like it's just principles that work. I do feel, or do you feel actually not, it doesn't matter how I feel. Do you feel that alcohol has played a part in some of your legal issues as well? Because didn't, didn't you get it like a DUI? And then also, um, you had like a little thing with us. Was it a security guard outside of a nightclub? Um,

when you were drunk and like they cuffed you and put you on the ground and stuff like that. Do you feel like alcohol has played a part in some of your legal troubles? So alcohol definitely is a depressant and attracts negatives to you. Yeah. Um,

I'm literally... That's why they call it a spirit because it lowers your spirits. Oh, yeah. It lowers your spirit. And I wouldn't recommend anyone who's been assaulted or attacked or hasn't been educated on trauma work should not be drinking. It really makes your...

life worse. Um, and so yeah, that I'm dealing with that legal problem even today. Yeah. Two years later, then she won't stop harassing me. Um, so yeah. So now she's trying to do your lightweight funny as fuck, dude. Like really, if people really paid attention, they would see that you are funny. Like Sophia's hearing me like on court, like lawyer calls before this cause of her.

she didn't know how to serve me so she claims that she's gonna get lots of money from me right now okay I thought it was a man that you that they saying that you slapped him or something or no this is a woman who's a liar but she is just like that's why I have to postpone even like me doing like a comedy portfolio that I've been working on like could you imagine me going to work

And then being served in front of everyone. So it's like I have to now reorganize my life around people who target me and won't stop harassing me because I just won't put up with it anymore. What happened? Like you were out drinking with friends and then... I went to a dinner. So I was definitely more about the food. There was alcohol. We love food. Yeah. Yeah.

And I was asked with my two other colleagues to go upstairs and see their new little rooftop thing. I didn't have a drink up there.

I went to the bathroom. It felt like I was set up. One of their customers was in front of my purse and my bag in between my friends, not with her group. And I was like, could you please, like, move? That's my stuff. These are my friends. She wanted to keep going at me, hitting me, hitting my friend who was trying to block me. Oh, wow. She hit you. And then her friends are pointing to remove me. I'm being then manhandled by huge security guys. This woman is...

puts herself in between this mix coming at me and I say leave me alone you see me yelling and this is like a girl a different girl than I am today at that time who has been sexually assaulted can't handle too much she's just been physically been through a lifetime of trauma you've had trauma started when you were younger and uh so she doesn't want to listen and so I do this with my arm and you see the full

movement on the camera and she wants to try to touch my hand and so literally my hand is like touching this woman's like mask not her face and

So her glasses are on. Her mask is on. She keeps wanting to manhandle me with all the men. She then goes into an elevator with me. I'm like, leave me alone. I walk off property waiting for my other friend who wants to call the police, wants to do all this stuff. And sure enough, then her and the other guy...

just finagle up to come after me off property then he cuffs himself to me is like touching me all over she's over there yelling that I hit her in her face and whatever I'm yelling back

And so, yeah, basically I'm winning a personal injury case on top of this. The criminal case got thrown out because I did nothing. The personal injury case, I'm recovering all of my trauma costs and me moving and everything else. Like I had death threats because this woman would not shut her mouth with all of her lies. Like people literally thought I would hit and target security people and

And that's just completely not the case. So dealing with all of this, it's just like stressful. I've had a lot of people just continually try to sue me, sue me, come after me, come after me, come after me.

And I just don't want that in this next chapter of whether it's my comedy career, me showing up to places. And I also have to realize like I have to do, I don't even like security guards to be honest. So me getting security is also like a trust fall. No, that's how I am. My husband makes me travel with security everywhere and I'm like, why? I feel like I have a babysitter. I'm like, I hate it. It drives me crazy. Yeah.

I don't know. I've never... I've had a lot of issues with security guards. This is not the first one. I think you need to have somebody in your life that's there to protect you, though, because you are... You know, the fan base that you guys have from Teen Mom is wild. Like, I've had Janelle and Kale on the podcast. That's awesome. And it is like...

Those people are really invested in you guys' lives. You guys have a lot of great fans, but it is like a cult fan base, you know? We love it. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thing is, in that sea of people who love you guys, there's a few people who have it out for you. And these are the people that you're running into. So I think having somebody to protect you from that isn't a bad idea. Yeah. Yeah.

I will say one less lawsuit to worry about. One less lawsuit. They keep coming. Yeah. I actually embrace them. How many do you have right now? I just surf on lawsuits at this point. How many lawsuits do you have right now? I'm like trying to close up like three. Oh, God. So who knows? Like, who knows? But I think like we're just reinventing the wheel of like, OK, if we're going to do, you

not a tour if we're going to just like present it and package it then we can you know control like who's on sets and how we do those things so like I can still keep moving forward in my life yeah so yeah I'm just kind of tired of sitting still

But it's been good. Take me on this journey of you doing comedy. I feel like a Farrah Abraham roast is overdue. Yeah. I would attend. I think it would be hilarious. We'll give you the mic. Wow.

I don't want to be mean, though. I just want to watch. It's good to roast people. It's good to see if I've overcome. I love that you can laugh. I love that you can laugh at yourself, though, and you don't take yourself so serious. I think that's a great quality to have. It's definitely been a challenge. She's like, I've been working on it. Yeah, I've been working on it so hard, I can't wait. But yeah, I just want to do some things with comedy and maybe just talk about like,

behavior in a funny way and I think learning behavior and learning myself I think it's like been a good soul journey and I want to share that in comedy what spawned this whole entire journey with comedy um have you just always been a comedy fan

I don't even know. I mean, who doesn't love some Ace Ventura pet detective? But I actually got my SAG credits from a Comedy Central special that they did for me. And after I got wrongfully fired from Teen Mom, I started getting SAG checks in the mail and I started seeing where it was from. And I was like, oh my God, it's from Dave Attell inviting me for my comedy special. Yeah.

And I was like, well, I really did like that. And it was so fun. And I like the people. And I think in this next endeavor of my life, I'm kind of more intentional about who I'm working around. Yeah. How they're making me feel.

And that comes with age too. You're what? 32 now? Yeah. Yeah. I'm 44. So it takes like, as you get older, you get to a point where you're just like, I don't care what the look is or how many people are going to see it. I care about being around people who are going to build me up, make me feel good about myself, people I can learn from, you know? So I think that's awesome that you're realizing that now. Yeah. So it's just wonderful. And, um, I just hope to have great work environments and, and

enjoy myself when can we expect this comedy tour oh my god

Or the specials. I can say specials. I don't know about tour, but, um, I would, I would hope by the end of this year, you know, some other shows are coming out and we'll see like what happens. Um, but yeah, I'm just kind of like risk assessing my career and just making sure, but I don't, you're reinventing yourself. Yeah. I feel like you do that all the time you have done. Is there anything you haven't done? You've made albums. I haven't done like my law degree yet. Yeah.

Like, yeah. Farrah's court will be, like, Judge Judy. Oh, my God. That would be awesome. I love her. I would love to do a court show, please. Oh, let's put it in the air. Manifest it. That would be awesome because you literally, one thing I do admire about you, you have fucking hustle. You're not lazy. Yeah, ADHD doesn't sit. Yeah.

Is that what I have? Is that why I can't sit still? I'm literally always on to the next goal. It's fun. No, you literally are always doing something, always selling something. I mean, you are like... Who doesn't like sales? I love sales. I do love sales. I think if you're like good at serving people and like matching people and doing things, oh my God, sales is like a dream. Yeah, absolutely. Let's bring it over to Sophia for a little bit here.

what do you want to be when you grow up? Have you ever thought about that? Yeah, I've been getting into music. So I think when I grow up, I want to be a music artist maybe and a entrepreneur and a influencer. I love that. Does your mom influence that a lot? Do you really look up to your mom? Yeah, definitely. She did really support me doing my music when I was younger. I have two music videos from like a super long time ago, which is like

kind of cringe before goth I mean we all we all have those stuff that we look back on and we're like what the hell was I thinking you know yeah I wrote those songs myself that's amazing so you and Bailey would really get along she writes her own music and stuff like that we'll have to introduce the girlies for sure yeah for sure what's your favorite thing about your mom what do you admire the most about her um her beauty and what do you think

That is sweet. You are. Thank you. She doubts that kind of often. But she's beautiful. That's good that I know where I need to work on.

I love that. Yeah, I love that. Thank you, Sophia. I appreciate you. What's your favorite thing about Sophia? Oh my gosh. Well, I love Sophia's beauty. Like no joke. I always am like you have like your dad's nose, the eyebrows, the chin. Like I just, I love it. And I'm so happy you have that, all that going for you. You're gorgeous. And yeah,

What else? I mean, I pretty much love everything about my daughter. Like I love, I loved you like parenting you as a kid. I love parenting you as a teen. I love your silliness. I mean, there's so much. I just love it all. There's, I don't know why. It's making me smile. I don't know why. A lot of parents are like, I don't know if I like my teenager today, but like I really, I practice my gratefuls and I think I just have always loved my daughter best.

totally yeah holy you love her for who she is yeah do you guys feel like your soulmates because you know soulmates don't have to be lovers soulmates can be friends children parents like that's um I do always wonder I don't know if other parents wonder this or whatever but I do feel like I was given my child like

Like I was given Sophia. I don't know what it is. Like even when like her dad wasn't there, I had her in the birthing room and like I'm just looking at her. I just like there was this eye connection and like I knew that even though nothing was perfect, however, I wanted to plan it growing up that I was meant to be there at this time with her. And I will never forget that from the hospital room.

So I like life can just totally fall apart around you like it has with me. But yeah, I don't know if that's soulmate, if that's exactly what you meant. Yeah. But I do know like I was supposed to be with Sophia and like she is my child. Like I do know that. It's just crazy. You guys are going to make me cry. I think that is so sweet. And Farrah, I want to give you your flowers because I watched a lot of interviews the other night just trying

Trying to get a feel for you and stuff like that. And I feel like a lot of people have you on their shows to attack you. And they don't give you a chance to actually like...

kind of flourish in the moment with you. And I'm sorry for that, for how people treat you like that. But also people don't realize that you were at such a young age, having a child on television, losing the father of your child and having to go through this with the world watching you with parents who didn't support and did not give you the proper guidance. And you are literally just figuring this shit out on your own.

Yeah. And that's heavy. And I just want you to say, I see you and I see what you're doing and I think you're doing wonderful. Oh, I love that. And thank you for seeing me. And I appreciate, I appreciate you being an amazing host. No, thank you. Yeah. Allowing it to be whatever it will be. No, no, I appreciate that. Let's talk about love. Let's talk about love. You got a new boyfriend. Well, he's been around since what? 2021? No. No.

No? I read that wrong then. No. Okay. Is that a different one? Yeah, maybe it was a different one. All right. Well, when did this one come about? I have to say I date differently now. So I did this Guardian of Your Soul dating naked thing. I graduated from that when I turned 32. So last May. Okay. What is that? Is that part of the 12 step? Yeah. So Lisa Shield, who does this, she has her own amazing podcast, but she does this with her husband. You were there for 12 weeks. Yes.

You have your own coach. You do your own like manifestation journal. She has 12 modules. You're reading books. You're hearing podcasts. You're hearing psychologists. Like you're in a vortex of training yourself to be like a weapon of dating basically. And so I did it. I committed. And I was like, you know, going on these dates. I feel like this is wasting my time.

And I got this weird like dating show offer during that. And I declined because I've done so many dating shows. And I just don't like I was at this point of like,

I'm tired of repeating, tired of repeating. Like clearly something's disconnected and it was more personal work and really diving in on that. And so Lisa did a 12 step program too. So when I shared about my 12 step program, she's like, yeah, so this is why we have 12 weeks, 12 modules. And we are focused on getting this alignment before your dating life.

So I love it. I graduated and I was just like, look, I don't have anyone who I'll call my fiance or anything like that, but I'll keep doing this. And like, I'm kind of like a late bloomer, even though I like zoom through things. And so like the leaders are like, we'll keep checking in with us, keep coming to the groups, like whatever. And sure enough, like, I don't know, I went on

Almost like a hundred dates and a hundred dates, like almost a hundred dates. Goodness. It was like a speed dating. And then one, one gentleman, uh, wasn't even like on, I realized he was on one of my dating apps after the fact, um,

I feel like the cream of the crop is never on the dating apps. Or I'm just not paying attention to it. Right. Well, we're not attracting it. I don't know. Yeah. Even though like we redo our online profiles and all this cool stuff. Right. So he actually got my attention on my OnlyFans page. Mm-hmm.

So, and then was like Zooming with me. And then I'm telling him about this dating program. Like I'm just intentionally dating. Like if you want to joke around and be like, I want to date Farrah Abraham, like whatever. But I was just like so on my game from this program about dating. So he ended up flying in to Austin to come see me. And we have just kind of been just...

I don't know he ended up getting a second house a second car second everything and lives in Austin right now like I don't know it just is like magical I love it when so when did he come in the picture so we started talking in October so like from June July August September like okay so since last year yeah so five months after this program I really have like

superly connected with someone. Oh, crazy. And he just loves every bit of you. Oh, yeah. Are you ever going to say who he is or make him public? Um, you know, we both kind of are like NDAs on both sides. So like I can share fun bits and stuff, but we don't really like share who who are me. Like I am like, I will not be meeting your family. Like,

I'm dating you. And I think I've also learned to date differently from not having my family around and truly being my most best self. So, yeah, like he I just love like he is all about self-improvement with me. We're doing fun things together all the time. And I really just want to make sure like that's right. Like that's really important. So if you guys do end up getting more serious, will you eventually meet his family? Yeah.

I don't really need to. Really? Like, I'm really like... Do you think part of you is scared? Because like, I feel like you're one of those people who kind of like waits for the ball to drop. Like if something's going too good, you're like, okay, what's going to fuck this up? Well, I'm trying to not have those brain patterns in my brain, but thank you. Right. So I just want the ball to keep...

rising and elevating. Hot air balloon. Like, let's keep going up. And I do think from learning so much about him, like he's learned so much about my family where I've come from, I think sometimes when you're building like a interdependent relationship where you're both coming together and rising up together,

There is no need for the background noise. Like, I'm not trying to attend a circus. He doesn't need to come to my circus. We just need to focus on going forth, building our own lives, building our own family. Like, flourishing career is the whole thing right now. And so that's why I'm kind of like... His parents and everyone are very like, why won't you tell me your name? Oh, like, they're always very, like, nosy. But I think I don't need anyone, like...

Googling me is searching me when they know who I am, who I'm dating. Right. And that's what I mean. Like, does that scare you that his family could Google you and then just get the wrong opinion of you? And then you feel like you're going to have to be trying to change these people's opinion about you. Yeah. I just don't operate like that anymore. So like when my mom or my dad got married and I was there for their weddings and stuff, and then they were their fiancees or everyone else was always like Googling me and seeing what I was up to. I actually stopped like posting for a while.

I was like, you know, it's just not worth it. I don't care what I'm up to or what I've been up to. Like, if you can't be present with me and family, I don't need it. So I think that's all. I think that's why this relationship is flourishing so much is that I don't talk about it much with other people from what I've been trained to do. We're very present. We're flourishing together.

And, like, we go on trips, we have fun. I just want that for my life. I deserve an amazing relationship. And I saw, like, even bits of it when I was, like, saying I was in a relationship. People really wanted to ruin and find and source and break me down so, like, I don't have a relationship. But that's actually what I've been working so hard for for, like,

two to three years is getting in this place so and like with no one else's help just me and so I like really need this have you met him yet Sophia yes I have do you approve he's okay yeah I mean like it's not like a year in or right totally serious but um Sophia I

And I met both of our boyfriends that we have now at the winter trip. Sophia, you have a boyfriend. Oh, we're going to talk about this after. Yeah. So yeah, we met together, our boyfriends together on our winter break trip this winter. So what do you think about Sophia's boyfriend?

You know, I can't really judge when the kids are, you know, 15, 16. I mean, wow, they have so, so much to do and grow because I was once there. Yeah. Isn't it wild to think that she's pretty much the age that you got pregnant at? Yeah, I was saying that the other night. So her boyfriend actually flew into Austin, Texas because he lives in Utah for her birthday. And he's also homeschooled, which is like great. So we had...

a great birthday weekend together. And I was like sitting at dinner with them after she like blew out her candles and everything. And I was like at 15, I was like on party buses with like 27 year olds. Isn't it wild how they're the opposite of us? I was like, I was like,

This wild child. And I was like, I am just so happy that Sophia is in like an amazing restaurant, has like all this stuff, has someone who like actually cares. You know, they're just building like a great friendship and just quality, quality time, quality people that I kind of really, to be honest, did not have. And it was just chaos. And I was like, I am so...

fortunate to see this for my child it's just crazy to me I love it I love it and I love watching Sophia smile at you when you talk about her it's the cutest thing ever it's just I'm so happy for my daughter she totally deserves this amazing journey that she's been blessed with so God is good yeah I love that where'd you meet your boyfriend at Sophia

I met him on VR. On what? Virtual reality? Yeah. Is that like a video game or? It's like those headsets, you know? Gotcha. With like the virtual games and stuff. Oh, gotcha. Okay. Specifically VR chat.

Gotcha. Okay. Those kids are in VR chat. Watch out. Yeah. It's that's like AOL chat when we were growing up. Literally. So yeah, both of us met our boyfriends online essentially. Yeah. Well, I would think that

being who you are it's got to be hard to meet people a normal way it's not like you're just going to go to church and meet somebody you know and I would think growing up with who your mom is is probably makes it hard for you to meet people a normal way also and you don't go to school so it's like you know you have to meet people where you are at you know in life so how has your mom's um

affected you? Um, I mean, it's kind of been hard to make friends like in real life and stuff. Um,

But I would say once they accept, like, who I am online, then we become, like, best friends, you know? Gotcha. But some people, once they find out who I really am, they, like, don't want to, like, be friends with me. Because of your mom. But, like, I mean, I don't really get hurt by that because in the end, then you're just fake. Yeah. So I just block them, you know? Yeah.

No, I love that. Bailey had to go through that too whenever we were first coming up in the limelight. There was a lot of parents who didn't want Bailey hanging out with her because of who her parents were. And I was just like, you don't need friends like that. If they have parents that are going to judge them so harshly that they won't let their kid hang out with you because of who their parents are when they haven't even met us or shook our hands, then you don't want those people in your life anyways. Yeah. So it is kind of fun. I mean, I've been seeing Sophia –

Kind of like catfish people. What do you mean? It's not catfishing. Okay. I have... It's called secret accounts. Yes. Oh, they're called Finstas, right? Or isn't that what they are? I mean, it's basically like all accounts, you know? Okay, gotcha. Like, I don't use my public profiles or my real name on stuff. Yeah.

Like, my friends know my first name. Right. But, like, I usually don't tell them my last name. Right. Until they find out who, like, I really am. Like, for instance. But that's actually kind of smart. That is smart. Like, we have this show, like, called Catfish, right? But I have to say, like, Sophia's doing it in a catfish positive way, not a toxic way. Right. Because, like, for instance, like, we flew into Utah so that her and her boyfriend could meet.

they do know each other's names. It's kind of up in the air on the first, the first date, which was at a trampoline park. Right. And everyone brought their families. And so I loved how refreshing it was. Actually, I was refreshed by,

his mom his family not knowing who I was just taking me in like a glass of water just having a good time just loving you for who you were in that moment and also the same for Sophia and then her daughter arrives and she knew exactly who I was and everything else and then it was like like it just kind of sucks the fun out of just being present in real life yeah um

But yeah, I really loved like how we've gotten to know each other, even though you could definitely see they are definitely affected by someone's fame, what they might, might not have, how we live. Yeah.

And that's sad. And so I just say whatever Sophia needs to do to see positive and have positive interactions and relationships, that's awesome. I support it. Even if it's a little catfishy, I'm okay with it. Right. I kind of understand the method to the madness, though. She wants to make sure that the people that are in her life are there for a reason, not because of who you are, because of who she is. So I think it's actually kind of genius. It is genius. I like it. When's your birthday? Okay.

February 23rd. Oh, you're Pisces. Well, you're like an Aquarius Pisces. You're like right on the cusp. Really? I don't know. She likes to swim. Oh, yeah. She's a little fishy. Yeah. A gothic swimmer. A little black fish swimming in the pond. Yes. Can we talk about your beef with Nicki Minaj? What happened with that whole situation? This podcast is brought to you by eHarmony, the

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She's not a Barbie. Because I feel like she kind of called you out and brought that on herself. And I feel like a lot of people bring things upon themselves in my career. But yes. Yeah. I feel like she's doing that now to make the stallion also. And I think people. Yeah. People didn't take her. Her.

People didn't consider it bullying whenever she did it to you because it was a few years ago. But now that they're seeing a pattern and how she treats people, I think it kind of, you know, is putting a spotlight on how she acts as a person. I have to say, like, Nicki Minaj, I believe she said, like, I was a cunt because of how I treated my mom. She was watching, like, a Teen Mom rerun one day when she was doing that.

I have to say anyone who talks to me or towards anyone, bullying them out loud, doing whatever they're doing, not paying attention to their own mental health and why she's doing that. The reason why someone reaches out in a toxic way, calls someone another name, tries to degrade them, acts like they know how to be a better daughter to their mom or whatever, that is a denial. They're delusional. So I have never thought...

of anyone similar to Nicki Minaj, like a Chrissy Teigen, who also does that to me, or other people who do that, or women who do that. It also very much reminds me a little bit of the toxicity between my mom, my sister, my grandma towards me growing up. So it's a trigger for you. You know, I just recognize it as complete mental illness almost, to be honest. So I don't think...

my daughter has anything to worry about of like listening, paying attention to anything from women who have like a platform and they're just like lashing out in mental illness because that's not having self-control. That's not therapeutically dealing with it. She also wasn't a mom. I don't really think Nicki Minaj is a great mom. I don't think she really has done the personal work. She's married, I think like a convict who I guess is like

done very weird things um so I can't really care about anyone who that comes from that's like

Caring about a hater online who says the same thing. So whether it was Nicki Minaj or a deep fake account online saying it, it's going to the same place of like, oh, that's unhealthy for my mental health. That's like mental illness coming at me. I don't have time for that toxicity. So and I'm sorry that Megan Thee Stallion had to go through all sorts of stuff and criminal behavior, but she doesn't deserve that in her life.

present success or her future success. And I really hope that she finds other great artists to work with and have friendships with. Absolutely. How do you deal with all of the online stuff that comes to you? Are you used to it now? Or I don't think anybody ever gets used to people just bullying, but does it hurt still? Or did it ever hurt you like in the beginning? And how do you deal with it now? I definitely had a shame spiral many times with, um,

online toxicity and I think that's why I am totally cool with Sophia not being on it not posting as much not doing whatever because it's really not needed it's not a safe space yeah it's not a safe space and I think we just try to again pardon me create that safe space for us our own selves so if that's like posting once a year that's what's good for us um

And I don't even know, like this whole thing with like limiting teenagers on social media, I think in a way it feels like we're letting like criminals and deep fakes and all these things control and take over and oversaturate the internet when the internet would be so much more better with like credible, real people who enjoy the internet. So...

I just wish I had better people to play with on the internet. Yeah. But the internet has hurt you before to where it sent you into shame. What did you say? Shame spirals. Like definite like depression or maybe anxiety at times. And it's got to be heavy, especially when they run like news articles about you and stuff like that. Yeah. Do you feel like the press bullies you? I feel like we need to work on just reporting in a non-bullish way.

fraudulent way. Like when I've been dealing, you know, like when I was like attacked at dinner by security and then everyone acts like I did something to them and I have reporters calling me everywhere and they're making me out to be a bad person. My lawyers were literally like, you cannot talk to them anymore. If they want to behave this way, if they can't tell the right news, I'm not responding to them. Do not respond to them.

And that's just kind of sad because, again, like just kind of being raised with news reporters and even some of them being my friends, it's just been really sad to see like people use their jobs and inflict toxicity and affect someone's mental health. Or it could. I'm not letting that happen, but it definitely does to other people. Yeah, absolutely. I couldn't agree more. I think online is...

Kind of like the devil's playground, you know, like people can say and do whatever the hell they want and there's no recourse. Well, I feel like the good people get the recourse like they actually get like I can't even get on TikTok live because someone said it was like sexually explicit sitting in my office doing nothing. Did you appeal it?

Oh, I've appealed it. My agencies have reached out. They say that they don't have footage. They can't see it, so they can't redo it. I just feel like, or undo it, I feel like internet platforms are just crumbling, period. Like, they're crumbling. They're not doing that well. They're relying so heavily on marketing. They don't care to keep health number one, even though we're giving all of these things like...

healthy mindset and track your time and do all this. But we just keep allowing again, like deep fakes, toxicity, everything nonstop. So like if I go and look on my dashboard right now, you'll see like my account on the back end is flagged all the time for bullying. But are we deleting or blocking those bullies? Right. So I just, I let the internet. There's no solution to the problem. Yeah. I just let the internet crumble and,

And I like to use it to post, to share things, whether that's about mental health or something fun or birthdays or whatever. But I don't know. Maybe just one day. Who knows if I need any of it? I really don't know if I need social media. Yeah. I don't think you do. I think you've made a name for yourself that if you didn't have social media, people would still be obsessed with you because that's just how they are.

I have read mixed reviews. Did you sell poop or did you not sell poop? Oh my God, that's so funny. I sell my poop slime in my office. I made poop slime and we sold out of that. But yeah, it's crazy. I don't know why people are obsessed with poop. I love talking about buttholes. I have never sold my poop. I do get offers literally every day, every day for it. And it's crazy. Like my boyfriend's like,

You, he's like, I find, like, it's like, I find it so disgusting, but he's like, you have all these guys just wanting to pay you like $5,000 for you to send them shit. And he's like,

I can't even pick up your own dog shit. Like he's like, I don't know how this is. So they waft in it. It's crazy. I used to sell my panties when I had OF. Yeah. They, they like a vacuum sealed and sitting for like two weeks. Like it's wild. Yeah. So, um, yeah, I don't know, but I, I haven't done that, but I, I don't know. I heard it was like against the law. So I just don't do that. Yeah. Um, how, what's the weirdest request you have gotten on your only fans? Um,

I mean, what's weird anymore? Right. I don't know. There's so many weird things. What's the oddest or, you know, wildest? There's so many weird things I hear every day. I just don't know what's odd right now. I don't know. I have to, like, think so much. No worries. But I don't know. I just find it weird when people really want to, like, have customs and

And, like, they always try to, like, get in my personal life. Oh, yeah. So it's like, your boyfriend or, like, could you ask for a friend to do the... I just am like, why would you even get on here and, like, insinuate I would ask anyone else to be a part of your crazy imagination? So I always have a good laugh. How is your OF doing? How is your OF doing? Is it... My OF is doing fabulous. And I love my OF. I can't... Like...

I often ask myself when I think to just shutting it down because I felt like I was getting so sexually shamed and I just don't like dealing with any like sexual shaming stuff. And so I was like, maybe I'll shut it down. Maybe I won't. And then I keep it up. And I often like sometimes I'll just post some funny comments that I get. But I like there's a lot of negativity online.

But I will say, OF is a lot of positivity compared to all the negativity. Oh, I loved my OF. It was great. If you're a hater on somebody's OF, you've got fucking problems. You're paying them monthly to talk shit to them. Yeah, it's crazy. And that happens all the time. But there's a lot of men who, or women even, who always send me the best messages about

And I'm like, God, I needed that for my self-worth today or like my self-compassion or like just loving myself today. So I have to say if that's so positive out of all the other social medias, I've kept my OnlyFans. And I think maybe I even rave about it sometimes. I'm like, I can't delete this. It makes me so happy. Okay.

And you shouldn't have to delete it. If it does bring you happiness and joy and as well as monetary value, why would you delete it? Because people online don't agree with the lifestyle. I've never understood that stigma with OF. It's wild to me that we're not touching anybody. Nobody is touching us. There's no...

bodily fluid exchange. It's literally all online consenting adults and people have a problem with that. Would they rather you be in hotel rooms, you know, being an escort? Like it's wild to me. So I, yeah, I just, I think only fans have as just, again, been positive for my mental health, positive for me. Um, I don't like, I literally screen grab and save some of these messages. Cause I was like, if I ever just bye bye from it,

I would love to save these memories because they're such good memories. I mean...

I don't know. Like my boyfriend doesn't have a problem with it. So, and honestly, I think he, he actually likes it. So like he makes his like own little funny username and he's like, Oh, chat with me on there. It's just kind of like a fun play thing. Honestly, if that's good for my relationship, if it's good for my business, if it's good for me, I'm like, God, could, could life get any greater? If Sophia ever wanted to make an OnlyFans, would you allow her when she's of age?

Well, I definitely out of the question on now. Right. Of course. Reporters actually have asked me that already. Yeah. I was like literally thrown. No, not now. That's how she's under age. That's weird. Guys, that's like.

Not allowed. Yeah. But I mean, she is almost 18. So I think that's probably why there's so many years to go. I said, I'm counting them down. I'm like, kid, you got two years, two years to get the hell out. No, I'm just kidding. I don't think Sophia wants to do that. Like Sophia basically barely uses social media. Yeah. Sophia, do you have any use or need for anything that's an adult only platform?

No. She said no. You know, and I think I do have that need because I had managers and agents basically like being like, I'll run it. I'll start it. I'll do it. Like you have to do this. And I didn't even do it myself, open it. So I think because it was like a different journey in that. And again, like I am a sex symbol. Like I am...

something in that arena and I think you can't disown that or act like it's not um and so well you had a sex tape that came out yeah and a lot of you know then I had a novelty line from that

odd, traumatic, successful experience of a tape situation, I was like, you know what? For sexual health and well-being, I want to come out with a men's and women's line of novelty toys. And I also won an AVN award for that. So those are things that happened in my life journey. And I'm happy they were successful. And I think to do that justice, to have some of those adult platform pages

that's that's a no-brainer in that you know journey so I'm fine with it and it makes me happy how much did you end up making off of that sex tape

I don't know. I still make money off of it. She's like, it hasn't stopped, baby. No, it hasn't stopped. And I also made millions from my novelty toys, those licenses. I actually just enjoy business. Like a lot of people, and I love my friends who are all into adult entertainment. That was not my...

allure that's not like my thing um but I do like business in certain senses of my comfort level um so yeah you like multiple streams of income yeah who doesn't right right for each sister so yeah I have my own way of how I live you know my sex life and my choices and me as a woman and

I'm just really happy, like happier than I've ever been. So I think whatever happened in my life along the way, it was meant to be, even though it was like not the greatest thing. But yeah, it can certainly get you predators. It can certainly lead to like sexual assaults and those things. So I just want other women or even my own child, my own daughter to know like there's nothing to glorify.

about anything of what I went through or what I've done I literally look at my sex tape and I see someone who is battling face dysmorphia who feels so unloved who is like going through just like bereavement of the loss of her dad and so when I see a sex tape I see something so of nothing I want and

ever in my life again. But I have people every day who bring up my sex tape or like the toys that I made and it brings them joy. And so I have to really take myself away from that. But I do love that

It's helped me become aware that I needed to do personal and mental help and health on myself for sure. I love that. Yeah. What does 2024 hold for Farrah and Sophia? What do you guys want to accomplish? Lots of laughs. Yeah. Laughing a bunch this year, traveling, having fun. Sophia's working on...

whatever she wants to write create and make are you guys gonna do a song together well we have i love it no thank you yes she does not know how to sing i don't know at all and that's okay for some reason i have a cult following of people who loved my music when i was depressed so again like some people love your stuff when you're depressed and going through like a mental breakdown so

So I love it. Well, I think it's relatable. I feel like people feel like they're like, fuck, I'm going through it too. You know, like this is relatable. That's why people relate to my husband because of the music he makes, you know? Yeah, it's crazy. However, you will enjoy someone's music or...

Whatever. So yeah, Sophia is going to go on her own journey of gothic music and see how people relate to that and have fun and write. So yeah, I mean, every year is about creating something new and finding more of ourselves. So I think that's what we kind of are doing besides shows and besides stuff that I'm already doing.

I'm just like back to school again. Yeah. So are we going to get that law? He's over here sawing logs. I'm over here shaking his head. So are you going to, are you going to move forward and getting your law degree? Yeah, I'm moving forward with, I'm in a master's program right now and you can start doing like your JD and even your PhD. So I'm just going all the way. I'm getting my PhD, but I'm going through the master's almost done with that at the end of this year.

And then doing law the next year and everything like that. So I feel like as much as I've spent in legal fees and everything, I should already have the law degree. You should be your own lawyer, Farrah, at this point. I keep learning new things every day, though. So yeah, there's a lot going on in 2024. I can't wait till it's actually done. But I'm excited for it. I love that. And I love watching you guys grow and flourish together. And I think it's amazing. Yeah.

And I just want you guys to stay on this journey. I love that you're the happiest you've ever been. That makes me happy for you. Because happiness is hard to come by, man. You have to choose happiness. Yeah. Go mom and daughter teams. Let's go. Thank you guys for coming on the podcast. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having us. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.