Lauren the Mortician: Black Market Body Parts
01:53:08 Share

I love a great deal as much as the next gal, but I'm not going to crawl through a bed of hot coals just to save a few bucks. It has to be easy. No hoops, no BS. So when Mint Mobile said it was easy to get wireless for $15 a month with

purchase of a three month plan. I called them on it. Turns out it really is that easy to get wireless for $15 a month. The longest part of the process was the time I spent on hold waiting to break up with my old provider. Other than that, going with Mint Mobile was easy purchase, easy activation and easy use website baby. To get started,

go to mintmobile.com slash bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E. There, you'll see that right now, all three month plans are only $15 a month, including the unlimited plan. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's

largest 5G network. You can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month premium wireless plan for just 15 buckaroos a month, go to mintmobile.com slash bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E. That's mintmobile.com slash bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month and

When I think of summer smells, I think of sunscreen, salty beach air, barbecue on the grill, and...

Unfortunately, body odor. Well, not this summer. Thanks to Lume, whole body deodorant, BO will no longer be an unwelcome guest at my summer plans. Their pH optimized formula is clinically proven to block odor automatically.

all day and it's not just for underarms it's for everywhere we get odor pits privates feet under boobs you name it so no matter how hot it gets you can still smell fresh and feel confident from head to freaking toe baby ready to make this your freshest summer ever as a special offer new customers get 15% off

all Lume products with our exclusive code and link. Use code bunnyxo at lumedeodorant.com. That's L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. You guys already know I'm a Lume girl. I have to have it, especially when we're on tour, high paced shows, back to back, running around, armpits, sweating,

butthole marinating, just piddle juice pouring from all the holes. You guys already know that Lume is my go-to. Lume's starter pack is perfection for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. Again, as a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all

all Lume products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals 40% off their starter pack. Use code BUNNYXO for 15% off your first purchase at lumedeodorant.com. That's code BUNNYXO at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com.

What's up guys? Don't forget to sub to Patreon so that you can see the visuals because not only do we have episodes of the podcast, we have exclusive content that nobody else sees on any other apps, behind the scenes, photo shoots, and we're dropping a whole bunch of surprising stuff this year. So if you guys don't want to miss out and you want to be the first to know, go over to our Patreon, www.dumbblondunrated.com. Love ya!

Is this thing on? Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast, Dunblanc. Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child. And here we are. I'm so excited.

What's up guys? I'm so happy to have you guys on the podcast. So listen, so for the month of October, we are doing a murder mystery series and we are bringing on special guests and Mimi and I put our heads together and we were like, who would be a perfect guest to have in this series? And Lauren, the mortician baby, we fucking hit her up and she was like, can we do it tomorrow? And I was like, absolutely. She was here, man.

And here she is. What's up, baby? Hey, oh my gosh. I'm so excited to be here. What's up? I'm so happy to have you. Thank you so much for dropping everything so I could be here. What do you mean? You dropped everything. You were literally like in LA doing Laura Clary's podcast. By the time this comes out, I think we're allowed to talk about that, right? If not, we'll edit it out. But you were in LA doing Laura Clary's podcast, which I'm jealous because I love Laura. I think she's fucking hilarious. And I'm so excited to be here.

And you just hopped on a plane and came straight to Nashville to do another podcast. Yeah, I was already out and about. Oh my gosh, that was so Northwestern. I was going to say I'm Canadian. I was already out in a boat and I thought I would just swing on by Nashville. I love that so much. Thank you for coming. So, dude, I...

I first of all, we're doing something different today. Like I said, we're going to do this murder mystery thing that we had been talking about. But we're going to do that towards the end of the podcast. And it's a story that you actually brought to us that we're going to cover, which is pretty gruesome. And I can't wait to dive into that. I think it's going to be fucking amazing and everybody's going to love it. But first, I want to get to know you a little bit more and talk to you about just, you know,

I've watched a bunch of your videos. I love what you do online. I think it's fucking turned into a little bit of a movement. I think anybody's anytime anybody hears the Beetlejuice song, they automatically think of you.

Are they, have they reached out to you? Anybody? No, but if they want to call my people, let me know. Yeah. Have your people call my people. Yes, exactly. There's a Beetlejuice 2 coming out. Is there really? Yes, with Johnny Depp. Oh my God. Yeah, I would love to be with him. With Johnny Depp? Yes. Oh my God, I love him. His old ass, I'd still fuck him. For sure. I mean, Johnny Depp, the hottest he ever was, was in Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, the eye.

It's the eyeliner. It's the makeup. I love guy liners. So dude, Johnny, call me. And also my husband wants to fucking jam out with you. I think my husband said that in one of his interviews. So you get a twofer, a twofer one over here. The wife and the hubby. I'll come too.

we'll call you. I just want to watch. Is that a five song? Yeah. Everybody just wants to watch. We just, we just want to come. Yeah, for sure. So let's take it back. Cause I've watched a few of your videos and I've heard you say a couple of times that you are the real life Veda. And for those of those people who don't know, Veda is from the movie, my girl, which is one of the best movies ever. I love that movie. And she grew up in a funeral home. So where did you grow up?

So I actually grew up in a very small town in Wisconsin. Oh, not in the funeral home. But yeah. No, I'm just kidding. I'm totally kidding. No, yeah. Just like I was born in a funeral home. I was born there. Yeah. No, I was nine months old, actually. And we moved to small town USA, Wisconsin. And my dad. Are we allowed to say that? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Are we allowed to say that? I don't know if it's like politically correct, you know, because it's like, I don't know. Maybe people don't want to be called cheeseheads anymore. No, totally cheeseheads. And we moved to Wisconsin and,

my mom and dad bought the funeral home together my mom stayed home with us as kids and my dad was full-time at the funeral home all by himself he still owns those funeral homes actually oh I love that what was that like being a child surrounded by death like is it just like second skin to you or you know was it did

did it take some getting used to her? You literally were around it since you were nine months old. So I mean, I would think that that would just be kind of second nature for you. Yeah. I learned to walk in the funeral home. So I've always been around death. I've, I've seen dead people literally my entire, my whole life. Um, do you remember the first time you ever realized what you were looking at a dead body? How old were you? Um, I think that I was six, five or six years old. Um,

actually, I don't even know if you really want to talk about this or keep this in, but no, talk about it. I remember as a child, uh, uh, realizing that, uh, in the, in the back room that my dad saw these people naked. I remember that, that moment, uh,

And realizing how much trust that took even at like a young age. So you might want to cut that out. Sorry. No, that's fine. That's actually fascinating because, you know, they have, it's a very, death is intimate. It really is. It's an intimate, you know, fragile, delicate thing.

I'm learning that with my dad, you know, dying in front of my eyes. So it's very, I, I, I texted Jay the other day and I told him, I said, the best thing we could ever do for everybody around us is make sure we know what we're doing. And when we die, I was like, because my, neither one of my parents knew and thank God I was blessed enough to be able to scramble and make shit happen for them. But not a lot of people have that blessing, you know? And, and,

I think the best thing you could give to somebody is saying, hey, I've already took care of all my funeral shit. I've already, I know I'm going to a nursing home. Like this is where I'm going. And like, leave me here to croak and you guys go live your best life, you know? So I think that's the best gift you could give somebody. It's a blessing. It's a blessing. We're going to get off topic totally right now, but it really is a blessing. I've had people come in. They've been married for like 50 years and they never talked about what they wanted when they died. It's such an uncomfortable conversation, you know?

The husband comes in. He looks at me. We're sitting there at the table. And he says, I don't know what to do. He said, we were married for 50 years and we never talked about what we wanted when we died. And I don't know what I would do to make her happy or what we should do. And so what I do is I take his hand and I tell him that we're just going to do it together. And we're going to do...

Think sometimes people forget that funerals are really for the living as much as they're for the dead to honor them They really are for the living so that we can grieve closure that person. Mm-hmm And so we just do our very best to do what we think that she would have liked But it really is so important to talk to your loved ones what you want ahead of time a squirrel money away put it away in an account a set up a funeral trust and

Get that conversation going because we never know when we're going to die there. What's a funeral trust? A funeral trust would be so it's an account dedicated to your funeral funds. So it's not supposed to be used for anything else. You can even market since it's a trust for a funeral. It's not an asset to you.

So you're not going to just go and your kids aren't just going to go spend it on bingo or I don't know what to get at the scene. Could you imagine going and splurging mom and dad's funeral fucking money? I'm sure there's someone who has. Golly, smoke it away. So it's just a way to keep it safe. And then the state can't view it as an asset to someone. That is meant for funeral expenses. And then when the person dies, we then have access to that account and we're able to pay for the funeral with that. Wow, that's amazing. I'm going to set one up this week. Okay.

It's always so morbid to think about it, but it's like, it's so necessary, especially watching what I'm going through with my parents. I'm like your parents, do they have a plan? Yeah, they do. Oh, good for them. Well, I wouldn't expect anything less from your fucking family. Yeah. It is such a gift. It is such a gift. Thank them. Yeah, literally. Um, so, and by the way, if I walked into a funeral home and you were there to console me, I think I might like get a boner because stop. Oh my God.

Because listen, I walked into my funeral home whenever my mom croaked. And I'm telling you, the dude was like not compassionate. There was no hot chicks there. You know, like if I saw you across the table, I'd be like, you know, I think I might be able to deal with this a little bit easier. And that is like the greatest compliment of my entire existence. Thank you. So circling back to realizing that it was a dead body when you were five or six years old, you know, do you have...

Have you seen spirits? Do you see spirits or you're just around dead people? Like, have you ever had like a haunted spooky situation happen? I would love to hear. Okay. So I kind of went through this time in my life where I started realizing that people are given the choice to follow their bodies after they die. Your spirits. I'm a very big believer in that.

And I've seen it. I've witnessed it. And I felt it myself. Maybe his face right now. Yeah, you're not ready for this one. I don't think I am. Okay. So I picked up a gentleman. He died of cancer. And so it was kind of a long time coming. They had come in and pre-planned. And so I knew his wife ahead of time. Very nice lady.

And he passed in the very early morning hours. I went out to the house. You know, I do my thing and then I bring him back to the funeral home. And the minute that I bring him into the funeral home, his wishes were for cremation. So then I...

I roll him off into a special room where we prepare people for cremation and I go into the building to find his file and pull it so that the office gal can just kind of get everything ready for me for the next day. So when I meet with the family, we finalize everything. And I walk in the office and the clock is dead above my desk and I thought, oh, that's kind of weird. So I walked into the main office and that clock was dead.

And then I walked into the chapel and that big ass clock was dead. Because in afterlife, there's no time. And then I walked into the arrangement room. I ended up walking through the whole fucking building and ended up finding out that every single clock and they're all run on AA batteries, AAA batteries. Every single one of them was dead. That has never happened, has never happened again. And once I realized that every single clock in the entire building was dead, I

I walked back into the back room and I just felt this super heavy feeling and I felt like I was being watched and I got nervous and I left because I had done what I needed to do and it was time for me to leave. So I left and I came back the next morning. You know, I get to go home, get a couple hours of sleep and I come back and the wife meets me the next morning. We sit down for the arrangements and

I didn't tell her about the clocks because I didn't want to scare her or make her feel uncomfortable. And you know what? For all I knew, it could have been a coincidence. Because when those weird things happen to you, you try to talk yourself out of them. All the batteries were dead because we put them all in at the same time. Even though I know we didn't because they die at random times. Yeah.

So we're meeting and I'm signing the paperwork and she says, you know, I got to tell you something. And I said, well, what's wrong? And she said, when you left my house and I went back inside my house, all of my clocks were dead. I just got goosebumps. And I said, what? And I just, I looked at her and then I told her what happened. I said, all the clocks died here too. And we just kind of shared this moment where we just stared at each other. And that was that. And so I sent her off to the flower shop and she went and picked out flowers and

So fast forward a couple days, the entire time that he was there at the funeral home, I did not feel alone in that building. I had some doors that would shut on their own that my boss would tell me was just the wind shifting in the building. Yeah. Fucking wind. Love that. Yeah. And so the day of the funeral.

There were tons of flowers. He knew a lot of people. And there were lots of vases. And I set every single flower up there. When you're a funeral director, people don't really know. You set everything up. You put the flowers up. You put the cards out. You help with the obituary. You do everything from start to finish. You're like the event planner, but for death. Right. And you see it all the way through. That's what you do. Literally. So the son gets up and he's telling a story about his dad. They were really big into deer hunting.

And he is telling his dad that he's really sad that he's going to miss him this year for deer hunting, but they're going to still go in his memory. And as he is telling this memory and telling his dad he's probably bummed out that he's going to miss out on the big buck because he's going to get it this year and his dad's not going to be able to. All of a sudden I'm standing in the back and I watch this glass flower vase start spinning.

on the stand and I'm looking at that fucking flower vase my heart is on the ground I'm like don't you fall over don't you fall over and it falls over in slow motion like just fell the whole congregation everybody there goes you know just freaking out because the flower vase just tipped over the the glass shatters and I immediately run up there embarrassed thinking that maybe it was my fault that I put the flower vase too far to the one side and

I go to start picking it up and that specific flower vase had an ornament on it that was like a 10 point buck. And when it hit the ground, the antlers had broken off of the deer. So all of a sudden it was a doe and the son picked up the ornament and he just burst out laughing because we took that as a sign from his dad that he was not going to get the big buck and that he was just going to get a doe. Oh.

Of all the flower vases that could have tipped over. Yeah. That's not a coincidence. No. No. I do not believe in coincidences at all. That's amazing. And the wife came up and at the end we really shared this special moment and she hugged me and we cried and I just, I really do believe that we get to follow. It was too perfectly timed with him telling that story for that flower vase to fall over. Absolutely. Yeah.

A couple of weeks later, the son did come in to pick up the death certificates and he told me that the only thing he got was a dough. Oh my goodness. Oh my gosh. I have goosebumps. That's crazy. That's crazy. Is it hard for you to meet different families all the time and meet them under such, you know,

terrible circumstances and watch them grieve and be able to like have good energy yourself. Like I would think that would be heavy to have to deal with on a daily basis. It is really heavy. I'm not going to lie. It is really heavy. Our industry has a very high turnover rate. So we have

I think this is a really positive thing, but we have a lot of women coming into the industry now. When I graduated even, gosh, it doesn't feel like it was that long ago, but really it was. I graduated in 2015. And when I graduated, there was like a class of 20 of us, very small. And we only had three men.

So the women ratio has really, I love that. It's really heavy now in the industry. So there will be a really big shift

because of that numbers. I think it needs more compassion anyway. So I'm happy that more women are getting involved. It's like we were made to do this. We were made to do this. Yeah. And so I love to see more women in the space. But to answer your question, yes, it is heavy. It can weigh on you. But what I find peace in is knowing that I am helping them and they need me. They need me because they're in such a state of grief and

that they're not thinking clearly and they are just looking for someone to take them by the hand and guide them through that process. And it brings my soul such peace and so much purpose to be able to be the one to help them through that time. And don't get me wrong, I mean, there's days where

I go home and I just cry because there's, you know, life is so fragile and so precious and it's taken from, it's always, honestly, it's always taken from those that their lives are just cut way too short. And it's, it is really sad. So we do, you know, it's a very high turnover rate. We, we do get depressed. We do turn to,

probably unhealthy coping mechanisms and it's a very very hard line of work to be in but very rewarding at the same time because you do get to help people. Yeah.

So growing up in that, do you feel like you never had an opportunity to want to be something else? Or is it a passion for you because you were so surrounded by it as a child? I remember my dad tucking me in one night and coming up to me and saying, I can't wait for you to take over the funeral home one day. And I looked at him and I said, I don't want to do what you do. Oh. And I swear, I think I saw him tear up when I said that to him. Oh.

But I said, I was young. I said, I don't want to do what you do. I want to do my own thing. I want to be my own person and go out there and get my own degree. And since that conversation, we didn't talk about it. So I ended up finding my way into this kind of on my own, which I can tell you about a few. Yeah, I would love to hear. Okay. So when I was, my parents got divorced. Okay. How old were you?

12. Okay. Uh, horrible age for your parents to get divorced. By the way, that's a rough age. I think divorce for any age of kids is brutal, but especially like seven and up when you know, like mommy and daddy are not going to be together anymore. No, no. And as a child, you remember those conversations too. Like when your parents sit you down and say, we're not going to be together anymore. And I, you remember that heartbreak. You remember, uh,

that feeling of what you're what you're breaking up you're not going to be together anymore and uh so my mom moved to Minnesota because most of my family is from Minnesota so that's why you might hear that yeah the Minnesota the Minnesota weird I thought it was Canadian at first I know I get that all the time you're like oh you're from Canada right new yeah no and

And that's where I graduated high school from. And the reason we moved to a community, community sounds weird, just a neighborhood. And my cousins lived there. And I was so excited to move there because we were the same age. And when I was 17, actually I was 18. I had just turned 18. And we were set to graduate that spring. So it was around April.

And my cousin that I grew up with took his own life. And I have never, I've never known loss like that. That's so sudden. It's so abrupt. You hit the ground. You hit the ground. I always feel like suicide is so selfish. And I might get in trouble for saying that. But I only say that because...

You're hurting. You're not hurting just yourself. You're literally hurting the people who love you, you know, and it's such a selfish decision. It I I feel that. And then on the other side of the coin, I also feel that that person, they felt like that was the only choice that they had. They're in so much pain. They're not in their right state of mind because they're

He was always a person that did what he wanted to do. He just was. He always was. He was so popular. He was so well-loved. I just think that he couldn't find a way out of his grief, and he didn't think that his life was worth living. Sometimes it can be a selfish decision, but I definitely think that

It can be a decision where they're just not in the right mental space and they just think that this is it. This is my life goes nowhere and it's a horrible mind space to be in. And I only know that because I was also suicidal before he took his life. Same. I've been there before. Wow. Before he took his life. Wow. What, what was causing you to be suicidal? Oh my gosh.

Lots of things. Let's talk about your trauma, Lauren. I'm not used to doing this. I was just going to skate on by. Listen, you're never skating by trauma with me, ever.

So your parents get a divorce. Let's start there. Oh my God, they're going to fucking hate me for talking about this. But it's real and it's truth. And I think that it helps people that have gone through other things that you've gone through, the same things that you've gone through. You know, it's hard when your parents go through a divorce, they think that they own that experience. It's their pain. And when you go to talk about that, I've talked about it once or twice on my platform before, and my parents do not like that because they...

you know, that was their marriage and their experiences. But what sucks for me as a child, yes, that was your experience, but I fucking lived it. Right. I fucking lived that shit. You put me through that. Yeah. I had to go to therapy for that. Yeah. Like, holy fuck. My parents did not get along. They still don't. They hate each other. No. So even up until the divorce, they were probably beefing all the time, fighting and stuff. So that, that, uh,

affects a child too yep I won't raise my voice in my house or to anybody anymore because I grew up in a house where I had a mom who did nothing but fucking scream her head off I'm so sorry no it's okay I mean it's fucker but yeah I know literally skating past her trauma no I'm just saying you know like it's just they don't parents don't realize how it's

it really affects their children. It's like just staying together for kids. Right. I hate that. I always tell people, just end it. Just don't stay together for the kids because you're making it 10 times worse. Absolutely. Don't stay together for the kids, but then at the same time, do not involve your fucking kids in your drama, please. Absolutely. Because it still haunts me and my sisters today. Oh, did your parents do that? Did they make you choose sides and stuff? Oh, absolutely. Oh my gosh. Absolutely. Yeah. It was, it was horrible. It was like, it's,

I don't even know where to start to even tell you. I mean, it's just, you have one parent that might be trying to keep you from the trauma, but then the other one feels like we know too much. So they want us to hear their side. And, um,

What it comes down to is that hell hath no fury like a woman that scorned. Absolutely. And my mom even wrote a book about my dad. My dad cheated on my mom. Sorry, dad, but you did. And that has multiple times and that has just followed its course.

It broke her heart. Yep. And she didn't know how to yell. So then she went out and did her thing. And then he was, you know, and then it was like, then they were just fighting about that. It's almost like teenagers. It is. It is. Or with kids. And you as the child, you as the 12, 13, 14, 15, you feel like you have to be the parent. You have to be the parent. And I mean, sometimes I still feel like I'm the parent, even now.

if even i know trust me i get it yeah yeah right now you've become the parent to your dad i've become the parent to mine yeah like we all make that dynamic shift eventually yes exactly where we ended up yes yeah and it's it's

It's wild. They take care of you when you're in diapers and then how life switches. And then you take care of them when they're in diapers. Literally. Before they die. Yeah. Isn't that wild? So be nice to your kids, people, because you're... Yeah, we're the ones who got to take care of you. Actually, my parents were fucked up to me and I'm still taking care of them. So... Yeah, you ended up taking care of both your parents. Yeah, both of them. Yeah, that's a whole nother fucking... That's a whole nother podcast. So was it just all the...

back and forth with your parents that was making you feel suicidal or was, you know... Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, getting caught in the middle, going to therapy, and then having the therapist tell me that we knew too much and that, you know, we were being told to pick sides and just... It was a lot. I mean, there's so much. We could literally spend like three podcasts on this. Just know it was a lot. It was overwhelming for a child. And then you see your parents fight and it's just...

You feel overwhelmed. You feel like it's never going to get better, even for you. It affects your mental health as a child because that's supposed to be your dad. And then when your dad finds someone else or your mom finds somebody else and then they break up with that person, you go through that loss all over again. Yeah. It's like you're mourning somebody who's alive. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That's brutal. So how did you get through your suicidal period?

Was it ideation or just thoughts? Yeah. How do you think you got through that? You know, I don't really know, but it was weird because I was having those thoughts and

and then my cousin took his own life just out of the blue unexpectedly and it was I remember feeling that loss and knowing that I didn't want to do that. Maybe that was his lesson and his blessing and his death was a lesson to you of like hey this is what it feels like when you suddenly take your life. Yeah and I when I saw I mean all the people that turned up and my aunt and uncle and just you know his mom and dad and

My aunt and uncle, they've never... You look in their eyes now and...

They've never been the same. Yeah. I mean, that's gotta be losing a child. I couldn't, I've never shut out my own kid, but I couldn't imagine losing Bailey or, you know, it changes that person. I'm sure. Any warning though? I mean, had he been going to therapy like you or was it just very sudden? It was, it was kind of like a secret. He, he had told them that he was having these thoughts. They, they were getting him on medication. They were getting him help. So he had come to them one time, if not two and said, I'm, I'm having these thoughts and I need help.

and they were working on his medications and then

All of a sudden he just... Sun exposure ages your skin and increases risk of skin cancer. You already knew this. What you may not know is UV rays can deplete collagen, leaving your skin paper thin and potentially susceptible to skin cancer. So while doctors recommend sunblock to protect top layers of the skin, it is essential to protect your collagen. And a great way to do this is with a new super collagen booster called Rejuvenate.

While others offer only one type of collagen, Radiance is clinically advanced with five types of collagens. And five different types of collagens is how Radiance can guarantee younger looking skin, fewer lines and wrinkles, as well as stronger hair and nails. Or you get your money

back. It's a win-win situation. Bottom line, enjoy your summer, but remember your sunscreen and super boost your collagen with radiance. Get 15% off your first order at BrickHouseNutrition.com. Promo code bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E. That's BrickHouseNutrition.com. Promo code bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E.

Being an adult has its high points. Like you can eat ice cream for dinner anytime, or if you want to stay up all night, you can, but it's not always fun. You also have to do your taxes and figure out what's for dinner every freaking night.

I hate it. And make doctor's appointments. And for that one, there is ZocDoc, the healthcare app that makes adulting that much easier. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to enter.

instantly book an appointment. That's amazing. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than a hundred thousand healthcare providers across every specialty at your fingertips. From mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, and much more. Plus ZocDoc appointments happen fast. Typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking, you can even score same day up

appointments. You guys know I absolutely hate going to the doctor. So if I can get a tele doctor, I'm all for it. I use them. You should too. You guys know I have anxiety. So I absolutely love the comfort of being able to be in my own home and do it from an app. It's absolutely seamless.

So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E, to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash bunny. ZocDoc.com slash bunny.

Sometimes medications can make it worse. Yeah. She's been through with like some of my medications where I ended up just having to cold turkey them because they were giving me more than what I was trying to prevent. So like I was fighting more being on them than I was off of them. So I just chose to be, take it holistic and not big pharma. I'm already on the edge all the time. Not so much lately. I've been really good the past, I think it's past year. I've been really good, but like,

when I was going through all that vitamin shit, there was times where it was like, if you went like this, I was fucking jumping off the edge. So anytime they mentioned medication to me, I was like, I don't have the mental aptitude to go through any sort of like bullshit with these things. If one of those medications pushes me off the edge, I'm going, you know? So I never did it. Every fucking time. Every time. That's okay.

I've literally had to pay these guys to go away. Really? Several times. We'll go out there and be like, we'll give you 20 bucks to leave. Yeah. Every time. He'll make a quick pass. Just give it one sec. Yeah, he'll go away in a second. He'll walk down the alley and then they'll leave. Yeah. What day of the week is it? They're here every Friday. Every time we're here filming a podcast, they're here. It's just not. It's crazy. It's going to get louder. He's going to go right under here.

That's okay. Now I can drink something. Yeah. You can drink during. Like, you can totally. Yeah, you're fine. I might need something better than water. What do you got? What's that? Energy drink. Oh, I thought you were having a drink with me. Mimi stays lit. Yeah, literally. I couldn't do it. There's no way. Oh, same. Do you guys drink the Celsiuses? No.

Oh, I'm on those. I don't do any energy drinks. I love Celsius. I can't fucking love it. Celsius is, I feel like, the only one that doesn't make me have the come down after. Where, like, sometimes, like, energy drinks, you get, like, especially Red Bulls, you get, like, a quick little burst of a high, and then you have the worst come down from Red Bulls. No, Celsius is really my treat.

The coffee was giving me anxiety. The two ships I took in fucking Texas. She had to run on a treadmill one time because she got too cracked out from coffee. I got so cracked out from coffee one time, it hurt. It physically hurt. I was like, this is who? How? Like, how do people fucking survive like this? Learned to drink coffee at funerals and visitations. Yeah. Because that's all we had was coffee and water. Oh my God.

Why is that? Why is it they only have coffee and water? That's, you know, it's, uh, it won't stay in the carpet. Why don't they serve alcohol at these things? When you're in small town USA, that's just what they do. You know, they'll break, they, whatever they want to do in the parking lot. I don't care, but we, we, you know, we have, um, we don't want it for liability. Right. Liability with the funeral homes are really big thing. You probably know that like, you know, just having people sign waivers and, um, you don't want people to come in the funeral home, get trashed. And well,

another big thing that funeral homes deal with is having people come in the bathrooms and overdose. So we're teached about Narcan and how to administer that. Because they're in so much grief, they just overdo it. Oh, goodness gracious. Wow. No better place to OD though, you know? Yeah, I guess so. Well, you still got to go to the morgue. Oh, so there's a whole process. If you take your life, if you overdose, car accident,

I mean, anything you go to the morgue for an autopsy. You cannot, you cannot decline it. It's your family. Can't say you didn't want it. You are having an autopsy. Yeah. So circling back your cousin's suicide,

suicide is what kind of propelled you into this industry can we talk about that yeah so I was going to school to be a dentist oh I was like the highest suicide rate ever I didn't know that until I think I heard you say that yeah yeah I wanted to do I just wanted to make people feel good about their teeth and I'm looking back I don't know why the fuck I thought that because I don't even want to be in people's mouths

Especially, I've seen dead people mouths like. Yeah. No, and I can't. The blood. No, I can't do it. No, I'm sorry. And the cracking of the fucking. Yep. Somebody's going to come at me and say that was disrespectful, but I'm sorry. When you get old and you're in your 90s, your teeth are, it's not good. Your breath's not good. You don't want to be anywhere near the mouth and you don't want to be anywhere near their feet. Their toenails. When you're 90, your breath's not good. Do you take out dentures before cremation?

Uh, yeah. So yeah. Uh, dentures. I mean, I'm not going to go feel around in there. I might've cremated a denture or two. Uh, but, uh, yeah, those are going to stay. I don't want to go on your mouth. Oh, good. So they can burn. They can burn. Yeah.

So you, um, so I was going to go to dental school and I went to school and I ended up dropping out and oh my gosh, my parents were so mad at me. They're like, what are you doing? So I moved in with my boyfriend at the time. Campus security actually called my mom and they're like, we haven't seen your daughters. My mom thought I was dead somewhere. She freaked out. But, uh, yeah, moved in with my boyfriend. My mother-in-law is nuts.

And that didn't go well. So he was living with his mom at the time in the basement. We're young, you know. We were working at a bakery. Right. Making coffee drinks and stuff in downtown Minneapolis. And so one of my uncles was hiring. And he was looking for somebody to do corner calls.

And so is your whole family just a whole family of just death? Aren't most funeral homes very family oriented? They're just family ran and owned. So my dad actually has a twin brother and he has a funeral homes in Minnesota.

and uh then I have another uncle that does it my grandpa did it so I'm technically a third generation funeral director and my grandma does flowers hi grandma love you oh hi grandma so until my grandpa died and then uh now they're all still doing it and I am I'm the one that decided to stand with my kids but uh yeah so just for now and then so I guess I started doing the corner call stuff and ended up realizing that I actually really liked it I I

What does a coroner call consist of? So a coroner call is really it's the horrible deaths. So it's...

The drug overdoses, the suicides, homicides, car accidents, very sudden death that would require an autopsy. So I did all those calls and I went and worked for my dad for the summer. And then I started community college that following fall and just told my dad I wanted to do this. So that dad was elated. Very, very excited. And isn't it crazy how life's full circle? Mm hmm. Yeah. Mm hmm. And.

um you know my mom thought I was crazy to go work for my dad oh damn it mom relax this is her life and so she's like well you're gonna have to figure it out on your own so I did um and um

Yeah, so and the rest is kind of history. But when my cousin took his life, I really, I didn't see myself, I really got depressed again, myself, I just, I missed him. I couldn't believe he made that decision. I couldn't believe he was gone. And I, I went to school, I hated it. Switched, started thinking about going to school.

going in helping other people that have lost a loved one and you'll find that a lot of morticians funeral directors that we we get into this industry for that reason because we have lost someone that we love so much and it's healing for us to help somebody else I actually wanted to be a mortician really yes I did and I looked into it Vegas didn't offer a lot of schooling for that and

And the reason why I wanted to get into it was because I have such a fear of death. And I was like, I'm the type of person, like if I fear something, I want to face it head on. So I was like, you know, if I could get into this industry, then I would be able to conquer my fear of death. And of course it never worked out that way because, you know, again, Vegas didn't have the schooling that they probably have now back when I wanted to do it. But I've always been fascinated with death and like all things death.

you know, just dark and like, I don't want to say sinister, but just like that. You're right, dude. I,

I have always had a fascination with all of those things. So I just, you know, it was very fitting for me to want to do that. But then I decided to be a stripper and here we are. I wanted to do hair. Yeah. Like I had before. I've gone to a funeral home for a client that passed away and did her hair. But I wanted to do that so bad. But my parents were like, no, it's like a family. Like a lot of funeral homes are very family based. So like to get in and to get paid well is very hard.

yeah absolutely yep funeral homes are hard to get into I have a lot of people that message and say oh I want to do just the makeup or I just want to do the hair and unfortunately we don't hire people just for that right yeah it's a it's a trust thing but then also funeral homes are cheap and they'd rather just have the funeral directors do that so you have to pay somebody extra unless the family does request to have somebody specific come in to do the hair it's great it was

It's crazy to hear you say funeral homes are cheap like in that aspect because death is expensive. Death is expensive. It is fucking like I had my mom. I had a private autopsy for my mom last year because I thought she was overdosed in her hospital and I had her cremated afterwards and it's expensive. It is expensive. And that's not even a whole few like I looked into funerals for because you know,

they wanted her to have a funeral in Indiana for the two people who would have showed up and it was still fricking expensive. I was just like, this is crazy. Like I'm in the wrong business. So the thing about, I don't know if you want to talk about expensive funerals or whatnot, but, um, I always like to say that it's expensive to be born. It's expensive to live and it's expensive to die. Um,

Because all of those things are expensive. And unfortunately, what's happening in the funeral industry is we have big corporations that are coming in and they're buying out family-owned funeral homes. And then they're lowering the price of these things to make it super cheap.

And then what happens is they're running out the other family-owned funeral homes or the family-owned funeral homes are going to have to up their prices a little bit just to make it. Because we've gone from funerals that used to cost $10,000, $12,000, $15,000, $20,000 to people just want basic cremation. The cremation rate is now 60%.

at the United States, like across the nation here, 60% when it used to be the opposite. Cremation wasn't even that popular in the 90s. The Catholic Church didn't even adopt that it was okay to be cremated. Yeah, because isn't there, there's a Bible verse that says you're not supposed to be cremated. They changed it. Yeah.

I don't know. How do you change that? I don't know. So now they are accepting of it. So now that's become the lesser expensive option. And so that's what families are choosing because death is unexpected. And then so many people, we weren't planning on paying this and it's, they just don't want to pay it. They don't, maybe they don't want to have a funeral. They want to go to the bar. That's a big thing in Wisconsin. We don't have funerals at the church anymore. They weren't churched anymore. A lot of churches are, um,

It's just not churching anymore. And people don't, they don't want to do that. So they're like celebration of life now. Yep. Celebration of life. So they're really big now and they're less expensive. So they're not bringing caskets to the bar. No. Okay. I was like, damn. Did you seriously sit there and think that? I was like, yeah. I was sitting here like, I was like, my husband would probably go for that. I would. We can make it happen. Propped up in the corner. Yeah. Just fucking put them on a barstool. Like weekend at Bernie's. Like just fucking prop them up. Can I embalm them with a bottle of like bourbon or something?

or something. Whiskey? He would love that. Fucking Casamigos. Tennessee whiskey. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I didn't know about like how and I didn't know really much like cremation, I guess, because like all of my family members, it was the Catholic Church so everyone got buried. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, we did caskets and stuff like that. And like, I think I only knew one person to get that. But did you see the TikTok the other day that said that plots are only leased for like 99 years sometimes? Because like they were like, how do you, how have we not run out of land? Right. And I never thought about that. They were like, you know, there's only so many cemeteries. They lease these for like 99 years. Or if you've had like no

What do they do with the body? That's actually, I don't think that's true. Uh, no. So I, I love how Lauren let you talk though. Well, you got to explain it because I just saw that the other day too. And I made a little video about it because I get asked that a lot. They're like, because what would they do with the bodies? Um,

Like, what, are they going to dig them up and then just throw them all in a mass grave? No. They don't have the family sign any sort of a waiver that's like, hey, in 99 years, you're fucked. And then we're going to dig grandma up and just, you know... Because there'd be bones. There'd be caskets. They'd have to get rid of those. So, and...

because a lot of the rumors are the cemetery fills up. Oh, you haven't heard of a new cemetery in town. Well, I've heard of new cemeteries. You're just not in the right spot for one. In Wisconsin, we've got... That was me starting rumors. Look at that. Can you imagine what a cemetery would look like from the view of like...

cutting the earth yes of like what would you like like just see you know what i'm saying like an image yes like all the bodies like just laying on top of each other all throughout this is buried on top of her husband because they wanted oh i'm doing that with jay yeah she put her on top of him so we call those bunk beds oh and i had i had one guy um his wife died first so we put her in the bottom bunk and then he requested to be buried face down so that he could be on top of her on the top bunk

And but they're not in the same cast. No. Right. No. OK. Just in spirit. You know. Oh, my God. You know, he's face down. That's that's really cute. That is very sweet. That's really Jay. You better do that for me one day. That's crazy. So you are married now with babies. What does your husband think about? Is he in the industry, too?

No. Okay. No. I used to bug him and make him come with me on the late night runs though. And he helped me go on house calls and stuff. Oh. I don't even know how he didn't run for the hills because the shit I put him through. We'd be out in the woods and we'd have somebody that died like months ago and we're out there. Oh my goodness. Like, please come with me.

Oh, you know, that'd be kind of fun though. In the woods. I know. I heard that died months ago. That would be kind of crazy. I think everybody has a morbid curiosity about death and they, you know, seeing dead bodies and stuff like that, not being disrespectful, but a lot of people do. No, cause we're all going to die. It's that one thing that just unites everybody is we are all going to die and it doesn't

And it can take you at any time. Yeah. No, for sure. I feel like this is so taboo and maybe that's why people are so fascinated by it. Yeah. Well, people don't talk about death. They don't want to. It's very uncomfortable. I'm learning that with my parents, you know, like I'm having to be like, okay, well let's make a game plan. What are we doing? You know, like it's very, you know, how do you say, Hey, how do you want to die when somebody is dying? Because death doesn't feel good. Mm.

It doesn't feel good to talk about death. Yeah, because nobody really knows where we're going after this. You know, like we have speculation. No, no, no. Nobody's ever came back besides Jesus and been like, hey, this is what's on the other side. Yeah. So take me on your TikTok journey because you have exploded on the scene on TikTok and

and people just absolutely love you. Anytime we hear the Beetlejuice theme song, here comes Lauren, the mortician. That's still so wild. You've somehow became this child, like, I don't want to say just child, but like, what is it like you do? Like the, um, everybody wants like reviews from you on certain things. That's so wild that that's happened too. But yeah. Um, so, um,

I started TikTok kind of making TikToks just for fun, probably in 2021. Just kind of whenever I felt like posting them. And then about a year ago, I started posting a lot more regularly. And I went viral for a list of things that I would never do because I want to live. Because I choose life. Yeah.

And that was because you've seen a lot. And I think like I've seen a few hater comments where people are like, you're you're not a real, you know, whatever they want to call it, a reviewer or you're not licensed to do this. And it's like a woman that has grown up around death her entire life, who has seen what people have died from, who has done coroner calls. Like, I think you're pretty fucking certified. I yeah. And I just oh, my gosh, all the hate I've been getting lately. Oh, it's because you're getting more popular. Yeah.

I feel like TikTok's like high school. And it's so crazy because like all of us OGs that have been on the app for a while, it's like we all know the newcomers. So you're technically kind of like a newcomer and we're welcoming you with open arms. But then there's that other side of TikTok that's like, who is this? Where is she coming from? Let's dissect everything she's doing. And it's literally just like high school. It's like a bunch of fucking people who just gossip and fucking try to like expose. It's like...

like exposing people is the thing to do these days. Yeah. Yeah. And there's really not much to at all. Yeah. What you see is kind of what you get with me, but yeah, how that whole, it's like, so what the, what they've called me is like that. I didn't even like give my, I've never said that I'm an expert on child safety or anything, but that's what they like to say is they're like, Oh, you can't be a child safety expert. And I'm like,

Does anybody have a piece of paper that says, I am now certified to talk to you about child safety? No. Everybody just kind of specializes in certain things. And I'm very particular to say, I'm not an expert. I'm just an opinionated as fuck mother because I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two because I'm...

I have personally seen these things. Yeah, absolutely. And it changes you as a person and as a mother, especially when you are burying mothers or children. It fucks you up, really. It fucks you up really hard. The kids, I wouldn't be able to handle the kids. There's no way. No, I did not know. I did not know how many babies pass away, like stillborn births or miscarriages. I did not know how many babies pass from that.

until I did corner calls in college. So I was 19, 20, 21 years old. And I was going to these hospitals and picking up little, little, little bags. Little nuggets. Little nuggets. And I had no idea. I had no idea.

So this TikTok thing, take me on this journey. You got on there, you started posting and... It just kind of blew up. So I made a list of things, of toys that I didn't like last December. And like Daily Mail and everybody ran with it. They're like, oh my God, this mortician, she doesn't allow this shit in her house. And to me, it just kind of seemed like...

normal because that's how I grew up too because my dad was also a paramedic so a lot of these things were like engraved in my brain like my dad went on horrible calls too um where horrible fucking horrible uh and that was just how I grew up was and so it was normal to me and then when your dad's a mortician too he's got a list of things like hey we're not doing this and then when I get into it I'm like holy shit he's really right I'm not doing this shit either and and so I just made a list

And then it kind of expanded into, well, why, why? Yeah. For each thing. So I kind of went on and then, and then I don't even know how it happened, but I started getting taped in videos. I'm like, what do you think of this? What do you think of this? What do you think of this? And now it's escalated. I don't even know where the Beetlejuice started from, but if they, if, if that's what they want to do, I'm, I'm here for it. Well,

Well, you've kind of created a safe space where people trust your opinion. And that's why they tag, like they do that with Mama taught to like everybody, when somebody is going through something, they tag Mama taught because they want Mama taught to sit with them. So your thing is, is like, Hey, you've created a safe space of, you seem pretty knowledgeable of what you're talking about and people want to know what your opinion is on certain things. So I think that's awesome. That speaks volumes of your character because you,

you know, obviously you're doing something right because it's grasping millions of people's attention. What's, what's crazy is, um, and what's sad is people think you only do it for the money, the views and the likes, right?

And that's not, that's never been who I am or what I'm about. Yeah. I mean, the likes and the shares and stuff. I mean, that's, that's the, I guess you could say that's like the bonus. Right. But it's more so the inbox messages that I get from parents. They're like, thank you for being so real. Absolutely. Thank you for my, my in-laws think I'm nuts because I don't let my baby sleep with a blanket because we do sleep sacks and they did it this way for so long and that we turned out okay. And that's called survivor's bias. Yeah. Yeah.

So you survived because, you know, your parents were doing unsafe sleep, but, but so that makes it okay. But no, it doesn't. I mean, I've been there. I've seen, I wish I haven't, but I have the after effects. The parents in my face crying, just asking if it was their fault. I mean, and so what I really wanted to do is I just started making content that was, that I,

felt passionate about and just sharing these messages and I get called a fear monger a lot a lot on like hate stuff and I don't let me interject real quick I don't think people realize going viral sucks

Okay. It's not a fucking, it's not a blessing. Like everyone's opinion. You get opinions about people that from people who don't know what the fuck is even going on, but they're just commenting because that's all they know how to do is just be a troll. You know, going viral sucks. Like it's, they, everybody's like, Oh, she's in it for the numbers and the likes. No, not really. We're in it just because we're here.

expressing who we are and we're hoping that it reaches the people that we want it to reach you know we're hoping that it helps somebody or saves a child's life or like i didn't know the about popcorn yeah and i've gotten popcorn stuck in my throat a million times i could only imagine if a child did that yep

You know, so it's like there's just so many cool things that you do point out and show that, you know, of course, there's going to be haters who always look for the negative. But really what you're doing is I think it's great because nobody on the app is doing that. Has that ever caused you more anxiety seeing the other side of it? Like, do you have anxiety over all of those things? I have horrible fucking anxiety. Yeah. She walked in here having a panic.

attack but I just like if I feel like if I knew that side of things I would have so much more anxiety yeah yeah I do and and uh I think that's just what's shaped me into who I am today really and um

I've never lied about who I am or what I do. And I've always been upfront. And I think that makes me a little bit more relatable because, yeah, I definitely... I have panic attacks. I get anxiety stuff. And it doesn't make me an overprotective mother, maybe. But are my kids happy and loved? And do they miss out on having popcorn? No, they don't. It doesn't... Popcorn or... We don't do nuts. You don't miss, but you don't know. No, they don't know. And they have wonderful, happy childhoods. And I'm so...

blessed to be their mom and you just want to be the best mom you can be and what sucks about a lot of these things is as parents we have to search this shit they'll be selling oh here parent buy this and you're like oh that looks wonderful take it home and you end up finding out that it was actually recalled or yeah it's not safe I found out a thing I let my daughter sleep in for like a long time got recalled for like a high death rate and I let her sleep in this like little swaddle swaddle

So many nights. Because it's the only thing she could sleep in. And it was like a year later. They were like, oh, mass amounts of infants have died in this. And I'm like, that could have been me. That could have been my daughter. Yeah, for sure. So I just wanted to make a safe place where one, we can talk about death. Two, we can talk about, mom, they want to know what...

but what I like and what I don't. And I'm happy to tell them if they want to know. And I just don't care if you don't like me. Yeah. And I think, and you can't because the people that love you embrace the fuck out of them. And there's always going to be hate when you're popular. It doesn't matter. It's like, like I said, it's high school. It's just a world divided. There's people. High school.

who just love you. And then there's people who just want to talk shit because they're fucking miserable. And you're not, you're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. I'm not going to be everybody's cup of tea. Mimi's not going to be everybody's cup of tea. It just is what it is. We can't fucking make everybody happy, but what you are doing and what you can do is make a difference and help save children's lives or, um,

Nobody knows how to be a fucking parent. No. They don't give you a handbook. No, we're all just learning. Literally. If we share it together and if we're just like, hey, I do this or I do this or hey, I don't use that because of this. Yeah. It just makes it a safe place where we can just talk about it. What's the difference between what you're doing and the fucking mom groups that they have on Facebook? Ha ha.

Those are so toxic. Literally. I've never thought about that before. Not saying that you're toxic. I'm just saying those moms go in there and they post pictures. Not that I know. I've never been in one, but I'm assuming they post pictures of like, hey, this is what my child did. And this is what I've learned from this. And like, you know, so it's like you're posting your experiences just like these women are. Yeah. But you're getting crucified for it because you're on a bigger platform. Mm hmm. So. Mm hmm.

suck that moms and mom groups literally show pictures of like a flesh eating disease on a child's foot and be like what should i do what should i put on this these moms are like put some neosporin and i'm like take that fucking kid to the hospital yeah why are you asking monkey's blood on it like what in the hell yeah it's so weird those those groups are so toxic and it's the worst people giving the worst device at least you're educated and you've seen it these women are just stay-at-home moms who think they know everything

Yeah. For sure. Yeah. It's a wild, wild west on Facebook. Mom groups. Facebook is crazy. They're their own fucking thing over there. Facebook. I love them because we have a huge following over there. But let me tell you something. If anybody comes at me sideways, they're like warriors. They will fucking go and shut pages down like they're crazy over there. Love Facebook. I'm a big believer in spirits and, you know, just an afterlife after seeing so much death.

What are your thoughts on an afterlife? When I think of summer smells, I think of sunscreen, salty beach air, barbecue on the grill, and unfortunately, body odor. Well, not this summer. Thanks to Lume, whole body deodorant, BO will no longer be an unwelcome guest at my summer plans. Their pH optimized formula is clinically proven to block odor all year long.

all day and it's not just for underarms it's for everywhere we get odor pits privates feet under boobs you name it so no matter how hot it gets you can still smell fresh and feel confident from head to freaking toe baby ready to make this your freshest summer ever as a special offer new customers get 15% off

all Lume products with our exclusive code and link. Use code bunnyxo at lumedeodorant.com. That's L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. You guys already know I'm a Lume girl. I have to have it, especially when we're on tour, high paced shows, back to back, running around, armpits, sweating,

butthole marinating, just piddle juice pouring from all the holes. You guys already know that Lume is my go-to. Lume's starter pack is perfection for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. Again, as a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all

all Lume products with our exclusive code and if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack that equals 40% off their starter pack. Use code BunnyXO for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com. That's code BunnyXO at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. This podcast is brought to you by eHarmony, the

the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Why doesn't eHarmony allow copy and paste in first messages? Because you are unique, and your conversations should reflect that. eHarmony wants you to find someone who will get you. How are you going to know who gets you if people send you the same generic conversation starters they message everyone else? Conversations that actually help you get to know each other. Imagine that. Get who gets you on eHarmony.

Sign up today. I get asked that question a lot. I definitely believe that we are all spiritual beings just living the spiritual experience. And I do believe that after we die, our souls, our spirits, we move on. And I actually, I do believe in God. I believe in

I believe in there being a better place that we all go to. And I also believe in reincarnation. I've never actually said that anywhere before, but I do. I definitely do. Yeah. What makes you believe in reincarnation?

I told my mom when I was little that I chose her to be my mom. Aww. Yeah, I was one of those. I was one of those. And I was watching, she has no idea where that came from, you know, watching Barney and then switching too. Yeah. My daughter did something very similar. Did she? She told me about a car accident when she was two. And for a year straight from two to three years old, she...

um three when she could like complete more sentences she told me about she was in a car accident um a white car landed on top of her because she was playing in the road and she screamed for her mommy and daddy and they didn't come and she told that story very very vividly as a child and we didn't really do like tvs when she was little so there would have been literally no way and she was i'm telling i'm a helicopter mom really bad um and

There would have been literally no way for her to physically ever know those words other than when I was pregnant. My husband was in a horrible car accident and died shortly, but they brought him back and

that happened while i was seven months pregnant with her and she came back and when she was two started talking about a car accident and talked about like very she she talks about what she was wearing she talks about the color of the car she talks about everything oh my god i've been like that for years and she's an old soul you know yeah my daughter is that old soul she's done this a million times my other one brand new soul he doesn't know what's

yeah cash is a dickhead yeah they're so funny wild olivia has done this life a thousand times they're so different kids are so different you have one and then you have the second one they're like totally different yeah how are your kids you have boys girls i have two boys do you have twins no praise jesus for that yeah no no they're uh five and three okay i have to think about that you got baby babies yeah they're just toddlers three is a

Fun age. Oh, goodness gracious. Before, I wanted to talk to you about the spiritual thing. I've also helped people of different faiths and such. And I've had people come in and want to open a window for...

After somebody dies, you open a window and that's supposed to encourage the spirit to leave the room. Have you ever heard of that? Yes. Never heard about this before. So when my mom died, I've heard about that before a lot. But when my mom died and I walked in there, they had the window open for her. And when I walked in to see my mom, I didn't feel her presence at all. But I haven't felt my mom's presence yet.

I only felt my mom's presence for about two weeks after she died and she would come and visit me at my house and she would do, she came here to the studio. Um, when I was posting my tick talk about her, the lights that are behind you were off and they started going off and twirling in different colors. And I even got a video of it and caught it on a tick tock and posted it on tick tock.

And then one night I was sleeping and I woke up and my TV was doing the different colors. Oh my gosh. Yeah. She would play her favorite song. Oh, and then mama, I'm coming home by Ozzy Osbourne was a song that I had dedicated to her on Tik TOK and it would literally pop up.

And we haven't heard it since. All the time. Yeah. It was almost like she was just like coming to say like, thank you. And you know, like, and I haven't felt her since the, the, she's like left me alone. Thank God. You know, did, um, before your mom passed, did she ever talk about like family coming to visit her or spirits? Like, yeah.

Because I also believe that um before we die or when we die when the process is happening I also believe that our loved ones that we might be missing or people that we have a soul connection with I really do believe that they come Absolutely to our bedside when that happens. I believe that so I had a really cool experience with not about spirits um, my mom had my mom did she um

hers were more kind of like sinister. She, she kept thinking that my husband was going to send somebody to kill her and it was crazy, but she was saying, I saw him, you know, like it was really weird, but I had a really cool experience with my husband's dad, buddy. Um, when he was dying in hospice, he wouldn't talk to anybody towards the end of his death. He couldn't talk. Um, and it was just like, he was just laying there pretty much like sleeping and, um,

When I walked in the room, he instantly opened his eyes and was sat up and was like really excited and was trying to talk to me, but he couldn't verbalize any words because he was really towards the end of life. So he was making all these noises and he was just so excited, so excited. And I grabbed his hand and I was like, buddy, I love you. I'm here. What are you saying? You know? And when I grabbed his hand like that, I saw, first of all, I got overcome with the most weird,

warm feeling of love and just like, I mean, I felt like my heart was like this big, like it was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt. And all I saw was a pink galaxy. I'm talking like just stars and just a galaxy. And I mean, it brought me to tears because

And I was just like, and that was his way of showing me like, this is where I'm going. I'm so excited. This is where I'm going, you know? And I remember sitting there with him. And then when I walked out, I just literally lost it and started bawling in the fucking parking lot and told Jay and Jay was like, I believe it. He's like, cause buddy wasn't talking to anybody. And then as soon as I walked in, that's when he started freaking out and,

It was just a really cool experience. So I definitely believe in spirits. I definitely believe there's an afterlife. I definitely believe there's something more, you know? Um, when I was young, my mom and I, we were driving in our, uh, small town and, um,

We went to go over this bridge and there was a car and we watched the car end up going into the water. Oh my goodness. And floating down, down the river. My mom immediately pulled over. She got, you know, 911 and 911 asked her how many people are in the car. And she told them three, three people are in the car, three people are in the car, but they're not trying to get out. And we watched it sink.

And I was little. I remember the panic. I don't remember everything that she saw. The emotion. So the police came and they pulled the car out. And my dad came and looked at my mom and he said, Joanne, the...

there was only one person in the car and my mom was hysterical she said no there was three people in the car one of them had a specific shape to his nose and she was able to list everything about those two people and the one they were in the back seat of the car and the woman was driving and she just had her hands on the wheel and she went in the water and she didn't even try to escape she didn't even try to get out nothing they only found one body

So at the funeral, my mom ended up knowing the family and my mom went and looked at all the pictures that they had. And my mom ended up having a panic attack because she looked at one of the pictures and her husband and her son had died in a car accident. My mom swears up and down that it was them that was in the backseat of the car. Oh, it's like they were going to save her. And that's, I think that she could see them. And I think that that's why she didn't panic and why she didn't

Try to escape out of the car and why she do you think maybe she was committing suicide? I think so. Hmm

Goodness gracious. There's no reason why else for her to be parked there. Like there was no reason she was, the water was high that year and it just came and it swept the car away. And she didn't even, you know, most people, if I, if I'm going to sink in a car, I'm going to be bashing on that window. I mean, I want to live. I'm going to try to kick the window out. You're going to do something. She just sat there with her eyes straight ahead with her hands on the wheel. As the car went down, my mom said it was the eeriest thing she's ever seen. And then the two people in the back seat, they didn't do anything either.

And so that's a big reason. I mean, I totally believe you. I love to hear that you touched Buddy and you felt and you experienced that. Have you been told you're like a psychic medium before? So I have been numerous people and I fight it. And apparently I found out before my mom passed away that I come from a long line of Kentucky white trash witches.

No shit, really. Yeah. They all had a gift and they were all deemed mentally unstable. Especially your Aunt Bunny. Yeah. Oh, you want to hear something crazy, Lauren? We're totally getting off topic here. I know, but I love it. So I don't know my family. I don't know either sides of my family. My family is really fucked up and toxic. I didn't meet my mom until I was 36. I didn't spend time with my mom until she was dying. She came here to die. And that's when I got to spend the last...

six months of her life with her technically three. Cause I got pissed off at her. But, um, during that time, you know, I was just asking her questions and stuff like that. And one day she said, yeah, your aunt bunny. And I go, what? She goes, yeah. She goes, didn't, isn't that why you named yourself bunny? And I was like, what are you talking about? She's like,

One of my aunts, her name is Bunny, sent me I have a picture of her in my phone. Aunt Bunny wears eyeshadow like I do big fucking fluffy fur coats, does her hair all big, like literally like I'm like a version of her. And I'm like, I never fucking knew that.

Like that is so crazy that I had an aunt bunny in my life and never knew that. But like, isn't it crazy how just shit gets passed down? She the one that was like very witchy. Yeah. Well, they were all witchy. Yeah, it was. There was seven of them. So they were all witchy. They all had gifts, but they were all deemed like kind of mentally unstable because none of them knew how to deal with their gifts.

Unbelievable. Yeah. It like used to scare them. And to be truth be told, I was scared of my gifts all the way up until like probably two years ago when I was going through that, all that darkness. I finally got to the point where I was like, I don't give a fuck. I don't care. Shadows in the corner, fucking ghosts popping around me. Like I don't care. And as soon as I did that and I let it go,

It left me. It was almost like because I was so scared of it, it like the lower vibration invited the dark entities around me. And then the minute I was just like, I don't care if you're going to harm me, you're going to harm me. Jesus is going to protect me no matter what. I don't care that you're here. I don't care that you're fucking with me.

They dissipated and I never have problems. Now when I see stuff, I'll see stuff out of the corner of my eye or I get visions all the time of stuff. I've predicted deaths, people's deaths that have happened. I predicted my dad dying this year. My husband didn't believe me until two weeks ago. He even told me he was like, when he,

Thought you were the girl that was crying wolf because I kept telling him I feel like my dad's gonna die next year I started that like last year and then this year I was like, I just feel like something's off I'm my dad's gonna die this year boom find out fucking what not even two three weeks ago that my dad is dying of stage four cancer He never told us, you know, so it's just crazy. It's it's been a it's been a blessing and a curse But I'm learning to embrace it

So I'll never call myself a psychic and I'll never call myself a medium. But yeah, because I don't channel it. No, but I mean, a gift, I guess. Yeah. In tune. Totally. Yeah. Totally in tune. I like that. Well, let's answer some questions off Patreon. If you guys are on my Patreon, you guys had the privilege of being able to ask Lauren, the mortician, any question you wanted to know about death. So Mimi's going to pick a few out and we're going to let Lauren answer.

has anyone ever woken up on the table oh dear god no no i hear about those stories all the time yeah yeah where they like pronounce them dead incorrectly or like or does it is it true that people have like involuntary movements because you've been on call so does a body move after it's dead usually not um you know it if you if

If you're there like right after they die, I mean sometimes the brain still works and things flinch and things but no I heard that people get erections Is that true? Um

So after we die, there's a chemical process that occurs. So immediately after we die, we get really hot. So the temperatures skyrocket. You'll get a fever. Postmortem, I can't say the word. Somebody's going to comment it.

But anyways, so after we die, we get really hot. And then once that fever passes, we get it goes down and then we get super cold. And then why do we get that fever? Is it because the body's still trying to fight to stay alive? I that's a good question. I actually don't remember. I know they taught us in school. Yeah. But I just know that that's typically what happens. It happens after you die. So after you die, the body heats up.

It's a chemical reaction and then it cools down and then that's how rigor mortis sets in after a couple hours and lasts for some time. So technically, things can get erect during rigor mortis. However, that will pass. And for those that I already know who are wondering, penises shrink after you die by a couple of inches. Damn. So if you're already small to begin with, you are fucked. You got a belly button. You're micro, yes. Okay.

Oh my gosh. Could you imagine that? Seeing a dead body? And it's just like, I would laugh. I'd be like, right on brother. I would be so stoked for that dude. See all these stories about there's one on Tik TOK. It's fake. It was on a parody website of, I had a baby with, with a dead man. Oh yeah. She worked in the morgue and she, it's not possible. That's not true. You're not getting up there and that's not, it's not going down. So they can't ejaculate after. No,

So no ejaculation after death, boys. No, but however, you can extract semen within a limited amount of time after you die. But it has to be done by a professional. I would not know where to do that. And people have done that. Yeah, that's crazy. To make babies, you know. Yeah, for sure. What's the youngest person you've ever encountered dead? And what is the oldest person you've ever encountered dead? Oh, that's quite the question. I have...

I have for youngest, I have been on many miscarriages. So I mean, I have been to the hospital and I hold them in my hand. I've also had people call the funeral home and send pictures of they've had a miscarriage and they're only about 12 weeks. And we don't do cremations if they're

only 12 weeks because even if they're under 20, sometimes it can be difficult because we might not get any ashes because they're just so small and there's not really much for bones that have developed.

So, you know, that's unfortunately that is the youngest. And then the oldest I've had people over 100 years old before. Really? And they're healthy as a horse up until, you know, and I don't think I want to live that long. My great aunt lived 101 and she was a bad bitch on deathbed was wearing bright red lipstick on her deathbed. That's why I'm going out with lashes. I'm definitely going out with lashes.

What is the craziest cause of death you've ever seen? It's probably not that crazy because I've seen so many different. And a lot of them are really depressing, honestly. But I had a gentleman that worked like as a lineman and he was up super duper duper high, like hundreds of feet up. And he fell off of, he was supposed to have his proper equipment on.

And he fell all the way down. When I got there, the medical examiner already had him in the body bag. And so I was supposed to bring him for the autopsy. But the reason why that one sticks with me is because when I was on my way back, his cell phone started ringing in his pocket. And it rang and it rang and it rang all the way back to the morgue. And I couldn't, once that bag is sealed, I can't open it and answer it. And it was probably one of the

creepiest moments I don't even know if I call it creepy but just like surreal like knowing that somebody was calling him it like broke my heart and that I couldn't I did that for my husband I called I there was like 20 missed calls on his phone yeah because his he was on the phone with his um grandma when he crashed oh and so she called me and was like I think something just happened and I just sat there and I I hit repeat over and over and over oh yeah

That's crazy. So it's, yeah, it, death is, it's all around us and can happen to anybody and it's kind of wild. Yeah. Yeah. Someone wants to know how long does a person stay embalmed? You know, that, it's hard to say because a lot of us don't know. Yeah. I mean, you don't go dig up the body to check later. We don't just go and, you know, dig people up. I mean, I have, but I, that was a fresh one. So, I mean, it, yeah.

And not like we that was more sure that was mortician humor right there. Why did you have to dig someone up? Oh, it's a whole drama. So this guy died. He was younger, very sudden. And his mom's still alive. Bless her little heart. And we planned out the burial and we buried him. Whole family came. And the next day I get a phone call from this man. And he is so fucking pissed at me that I buried his nephew in his grave.

as he stood there and watched me bury him in the grave. Turns out that he wanted that plot because he wanted to be next to his mom.

What an awful human. So he was sister's, brother and sister. So the sister was the one who buried her son. So I had to call that poor little lady. And it was a whole, I mean, this dude's calling, screaming at me. She's crying. And it was horrible. That's something they don't teach you in school is that you are almost like this therapist and you have to mediate these situations. You don't know that's in your job description. So I had to call the cemetery. We had to dig him up.

The guy would not drop it. He was going to sue the funeral home. He was going to sue the cemetery. So nobody did anything wrong. But this guy claims that that was his plot. So we had to

dig him up. Poor lady, she had to pay to have the vault man come back out and the grave digger because it was a full burial. Death brings out the worst in people, man. It is brutal. It's always about the money, unfortunately. That's why anytime my parents have passed or whatever happens with my dad, I already told everybody I don't want anything and you guys divide it amongst yourselves.

I just don't want to deal with it. No. When my mom died, I didn't want anything she had. I was just like, no. That's awful. Rachel asks, what is the longest amount of time someone has been dead before they came to you?

Have you ever covered a carpet stain with a rug? Ignored a leaky faucet? Pretended your half-painted living room is supposed to look like that? Well, you're not alone. We've all got unfinished home projects. But there's an easier way. Thumbtack is the app that makes it easier to care for your home. Pull out your phone and in just a few taps, search, chat, and book highly rated pros right in your neighborhood. Download Thumbtack and start caring for your home the easier way.

This episode is sponsored by AutoTrader. Credit scores, down payments, interest rates. Car buying can be a numbers game, but you don't have to be a math expert to get the keys to your dream car. Just use Kelley Bluebook MyWallet on AutoTrader. Crunch your numbers and get your personalized results so you know exactly how much you'll pay each month for your car. It's like having a magic wand for your wallet.

Presto! The car you've been wanting is now within reach. So hit the road and leave your calculator at home. Find your next car on autotrader.com.

I picked up a gentleman, nobody knew he had died and he was in his home so long for so many months that he had like mummified. He was the color, he was a Caucasian male but his skin had turned completely black. I've seen pictures like that where they just turn completely black. They turn completely black and I mean there was no, there was actually no smell.

there was no smell it had been so long all the gases were released and everything wow no fluids no nothing um it was it was actually super interesting to see but very sad because his mail was piled up like nobody no one cared enough to know he had passed that's really sad like i said i had a i had a client for years because i was a hairstylist before all this and she was a um a

a detective and she specialized in like death like that's her thing uh and she would sometimes in cases that she could talk to me about she would show me pictures and that she's found many people like that where she was like they found out from like the electric company being like hey this person didn't pay their bill for a year give me do a welfare check and then they go and this person's been dead you know and like things things like that like she's found a lot of she's been through some crazy cases there's one guy who like uses a shotgun i

underneath here where this she showed me the marbling because I was so curious about that. I was impressed you knew that term. Yeah. And it literally looks like a marble counter when people marble in death. It's like their body like

And their skin turns like this porcelain white. But then like all of like the arteries and like the veins and stuff like kind of blow out a little bit. So it looks like marble countertops. I've seen it. Yeah, it's so wild. She did say someone had died of like an overdose. And I guess what they put in him.

I don't know if it was fentanyl or something like that. It blew out all the veins. So at first they thought she was tattooed, like heavily tattooed, but it was just one whole side of her body had all the veins literally exploded. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Very, very strange. Okay. Have you or another mortician mixed up bodies, like the wrong paperwork or given someone the wrong body? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Oh my goodness. She's like, well, legally, I can't say. So actually I didn't fuck this up. Um, I, um, this, um, uh, we had this, uh, person that used to work at one of the funeral homes that he used to work at. I'm not going to say what funeral home it was. So it's, this is anonymous, but, um,

He went to a hospital, picked somebody up from the hospital who had died and we were supposed to bring him back and then he was supposed to embalm this person. So he opened the body bag and what we were expecting when he opened the bag was a 90 year old little old white lady. And he opened the bag and there was a very, very small male African American man.

Oh, no. So the complete opposite of what we were supposed to have. Oh, no. So he didn't say anything to anybody. Didn't tell a soul. Sealed the body bag back up. Drove another hours to this hospital. And knocked on the door of the hospital and said, you gave me the wrong body. And they did the switch. People got fired at the hospital. It was never...

Talked about again. Golly. Could you imagine just getting the wrong body? Yep. And he tried the... So when you're the funeral director and you go to the hospital, it's your job to make sure you leave with the right body too. Right. So you look at the name on the bag. You look at... You sign them out. Like you're supposed to double check shit and the security people are supposed to help you with that. But what's funny about security, when you do security at a hospital, when they interview you, they don't tell you that you're going to be...

working with the dead too. So a lot of those guys are petrified. They're big, strong men. You bring them down to the morgue and they're like, I don't, they're like this. They're like, I don't touch dead bodies. You don't, you don't, you don't want to help. No, I, I'm going to wait out here. And they're these big, strong, muscular, hot men. I'm like you. Like an elephant. It's like the elephant and the mouse.

When an elephant sees a mouse, they get scared. Yeah, and I'm like, oh my gosh, but you're so attractive. Not anymore. Have you accidentally ever left something on a body when cremating it? Yes. Is there jewelry and stuff? Yeah. I hate my life. Yep, I did it one time. So every time we cremate somebody, we should look at their hands. Sometimes they're in the body bag. Oh, wait, you cremate them in the body pack? Mm-hmm.

I didn't know that. I thought they were completely naked. I thought they were naked and you just threw them in the oven. They're usually naked if they're in the body bag, especially if they die at a hospital or if they die after they have an autopsy. But sometimes they die, like maybe they're on hospice or they die at home and then they'll have their clothes on. And we don't put them in a body bag. We just put them right in the cremation container.

But I accidentally cremated somebody with a ring on and I had to call the family and tell them. And the son told me, he goes, it's okay. She got it out of a Cracker Jack box anyways. So he said it really wasn't that special. He said, I just, you know, I got so lucky. So lucky. I never did it again. I was blessed that day. It just happened to be that one time. He just said, he was like, oh, not a big deal. But I was honest about it. And I told him because...

He could have been a douchebag and been like, this was a diamond cut. He could have. I mean, right now telling you about it, I have anxiety because I knew that I still now that I fucked that up and I still feel horrible. But he said he just, he said it wasn't a big deal. He said it was actually happy that it went with her because he said that was probably what she would have wanted. So I got really. You knew. Let's do like two more questions. All right. This one's funny. Do you bury them with bras on or not? Ha.

I will bury you in a bra if your family brings in a bra. - Okay. - If they bring you one in and you know, sometimes it makes your boobs look better because when we get old, our titties, they, you know, they go in your pits. And so a lot of times, I mean, I'm helping a girl out and I'm dressing her and I'm putting a little stuffing there anyways, because they're so far down here. So the bra kind of helps me. - You're so sweet. Someone do that for me. - I want mine to look good. So I don't want you to look like it's over here.

Yeah, absolutely. So sometimes I'll ask them to if I need it. If not, maybe they, now somebody's going to get mad at me because they're going to be like, I don't want one. But I want you to look good. At the end of the day, you're not going to feel it. So if you bring one, you get one. If not, maybe nobody's going to see you. Then it doesn't matter. Yeah.

All right. Has anyone ever asked for a body part of a loved one or a hair or a fingernail? I don't know. Back in the old days, they did that and would put it in a frame. I just didn't know what nowadays if people do things like that still. You know, sometimes they ask. They'll want. I can give them like the metal. So like if grandma had a hip replacement, I can give that to them. I can pick it out after the cremation. Oh.

oh and give it to them if they want that i don't know what they do with it but sometimes they want that i don't know i think i would want that but i'm not uh i'm not gonna i don't have little bone saws in the back to take fingers or you know like a wishbone well you know they would make hair wreaths and stuff um i've taken hair okay i'm cut hair um i've taken fingerprints they make jewelry now you can get a fingerprint of your loved ones um in silver or gold they're called um

there's lots of different brands of them now um footprints yeah wow okay i didn't know that they're like things like that i know that like when i go shopping at like thrift stores and stuff i do see a lot of like these hair wreaths that people have done in the past i didn't know if that was a religious thing like i don't know if different religions have different like options yeah and nowadays um there's a new company out they'll take your tattoos

No shit. Yeah. And so it looks like a cheese grater and they send it along to the funeral home and I have to grade it off. And then they, um, I send it in and they, um,

preserve the skin and jason i want you to keep the one that says your name right here that's insane she's great that bad boy off now you might find funeral directors that say they're not going to do it because it's quite the process i could imagine it's like a lady who cut up bodies yeah and they don't teach us how to do that in school there's a lot they don't teach you how to do in school and you just learn on the fly that's like beauty school yeah they teach you the basics and then throw you out into the world to fuck everybody's hair up

yeah literally that's exactly what we would do that's yeah yeah so there's always a little bit of something for everybody everybody's into something

Hey, Lauren, thank you for answering these questions. You're so welcome. Lauren, it was so nice to hear about your life and stuff like that. I think we should get into let's let's shift gears and let's get into the story that you brought to us. You want to do that? Yeah. All right. Let's do it. I'm so excited about this. I know me too. This is this is new for me because listen, I'm going to just tell the truth. Okay.

I listened to a couple of podcasts that were true crime podcasts. Mimi's face because she knows what I'm about to say. And I don't see the fucking hype. Like, for real. It's literally like a fucking bedtime story that you're being read. And I don't know. I just feel like...

I think if I'm going to do a murder mystery stuff, I definitely want to talk about the story, but I want to stop. I want to do this. I want to like do it in segments and let's, let's discuss it. Yeah. You know, dissect the story, dissect the story. Like I don't, I don't know if maybe I listened to the wrong true crime podcasts, but to me it was very no effort. Bedtime story. Yeah. And I even hit Mimi. I was like,

have we been overworking? Are we like not working smarter and not harder? Are we working harder and not smarter? Because like it was just so simple. So the story that you sent us, I thought was amazing. And I thought it was perfect that to talk about, especially because you are knowledgeable in, um,

Megan Hesse

And she is in Colorado. So I'm just going to read the first paragraph. The director of a funeral home, Megan Hess in Colorado was sentenced to 20 years in prison for charges, including fraud after illegally selling bodies or body parts from more than 500 victims without the consent of their families for over a decade.

Like, first of all, okay, you have been in the industry a long time. And I actually read that...

it is legal to sell human body parts, right? You know, you could sell just about anything to anybody. That is crazy. But it's definitely frowned upon, especially if the family doesn't know. Not being frowned upon. Yeah. Like don't sell the body parts. I would definitely not advise. What makes it illegal? The big thing is about consent.

Okay. Definitely about consent. Those families are trusting you to take care of their loved one. And when you decide to dissect them and sell things that you're not supposed to instead of cremating them or burying them with everything they're supposed to have, that is when you can get into a lot of legal trouble. And the thing about legal trouble with a funeral home is you cannot put a price tag on emotional damage, emotional distress. Mm-hmm.

So a lot of judges will just, they just pick a number out of the air or they'll settle before. So it's, it's a really tough, tough thing to even think about. I heard you say that they're not like buried with something they wanted. How would someone know? They really wouldn't. That's the, yeah.

Or like if somebody gets cremated and you don't really know if you're getting that, you're that person. No, you're literally putting so much trust in a funeral home. Yeah. I never thought about that. Yeah. I spend. So I have a little side note here about, you know, in case people did have questions about that. And, um, it says that it is legal to sell human remains and a Reuters investigation found that the body broker industry is not closely regulated in many States and

Yeah.

Yeah, she just wanted me in space. I'm just so blown away by all this because I think like ethically, just like in your own conscious, how could you do such a thing?

She has flipped her humanity switch so much that she's not viewing them as human beings. She saw them as dollars. The most fucked up thing is that she brought her damn 69-year-old mom into this. Read that second paragraph right there. Oh my gosh, that's right. Oh my gosh. Okay, so her mom is involved. This is a family affair. 69-year-old Shirley Cock. Coach, I don't know. What?

I don't know how you would pronounce her name. That's so funny. Oh my goodness. Okay. So she, she was 46. Oh wait. Megan has 46 and her mom is 69. So wait, she was doing this for 20 years, which means she was 26 when she started doing this. Yeah. Yeah.

26 no they said over a decade they said over a decade oh 20 years in prison i read that wrong yeah decade okay so she was like in her 30s when she started doing this so she ran the sunset messa funeral home in colorado and pleaded guilty to mail fraud oh so they got her for mail fraud the mom well keep going and aiding and abating oh my god has a 69 year old mother surely cock cock

It looks like it would be cock. Coach? Coach had also charges of mail fraud and aiding and abiding as part of a plea deal and was sentenced to the 15 years. Could you imagine going to prison at 69 years old? No. You're going to die in there. Literally. That's insane to me. But like you. But to imagine all the families that they affected with that. I mean, I feel like 15 years is like not shit. I even feel like the 20 year.

Because she'll probably end up only doing like six. Is that how that works? Yeah. So they'll give you like 20 years and you'll really serve like 10. Depending on how. Yeah. It always is like, it's called time and a half. So they'll like, yeah, for, well, I've dated nothing but felons. I was going to say, we got the funeral home expert. We got the jail expert. Felon. I love felons. Yeah.

Yeah, that's awful that you would bring your mother into this. So what I'm understanding from this though, is that they got hit with mail fraud. Well, because shipping the part right out of, out of the country, they were selling them in, in the country and out of the country is what I had read. I would like to know where they found the people to buy the body parts. So here's the thing. They have a thing called body donation.

Do you see that right there? This whole thing on body donation right here? Do you know much about body donation, Lauren? Yeah. Yep. I went to a school where we had a whole body donation program. So how that works is people usually get like a free cremation. Yeah.

If they donate their body. So it's become really popular lately is you can donate your body to science. However, if you want to do that, it's kind of people are picking up on the free part. So they want to help out students and then donate their bodies. So I believe that Megan had kind of like signed up for this body donation thing. And she had told these families that, hey, we have this program. Is it OK if I take your mom's spleen and we'll send it off to...

the program but she wasn't doing that she was actually making money and pocketing it so these people thought their loved ones were going to like science yep they did and she was really just hacking them up and selling them on the black market yep

So what they're saying is, like if you ask like what is whole body donation, it's most people are buried or cremated when they die. But some bodies are donated to science, like Lauren was saying, usually for medical research or education. And in most cases, whole body donations must be authorized by the donor prior to death.

or after death by relatives. Yeah. I had someone I knew that got donated because he had this like incredibly rare cancer that was caused from asbestos that they had sprayed over the fields that his family worked in. And he was a kid and would like pick stuff in the fields that they had in the family farm. And the helicopter would come by and spray this asbestos. And his whole family ended up getting this cancer where it turned the bones to cement. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah, and it was super rare. And he donated his body to science where they took the whole body, basically, and sent it to this college for them to dissect and look and see how they could find, like, cures for this cancer. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, you have to make sure you're donating your body to a good place. They say right here that you can donate it to a university, a state agency, or a non-transplant tissue bank. Because some places...

I saw that they were taking people for body donation and then using them for experiments, like blowing shit up. Oh my goodness. Yeah. That was a, that's probably a whole nother case. That's like disrespecting the dead. Yeah. I wouldn't want to be one of those people that would scare the fuck out of me. It was like the next level of like disrespect. Yeah. You won't feel it, but right. Well, no, but I mean, this is like a, it's like, I don't know. I feel like a dead body is like sacred, you know? It is. Yeah. You were saying following your body. How are you not haunted?

Like she must be haunted as fuck. These people like following their bodies and they're like, this bitch just cut me up. Did you see a picture of this lady? Oh, dude. First of all, she's three years older than me.

Like, come on. She looks like she's 70. Yeah. Like she looks like she ate the body parts. Like something happened. She had hair like Rod Stewart. It's so tall. She can hide all her secrets. No, it's crazy. So you guys want to hear something that's crazy about selling body parts? It is illegal to sell human fetuses. That's where they draw the line.

That's where you draw the line. Yep. Otherwise, in almost every state, it's legal to sell the human remains of adults. One misconception promoted by some brokers is that it is illegal to sell body parts and that people who distribute them may only be reimbursed for processing, shipping, and other expenses. So that's where the mail fraud comes in because it's the shipping and all that stuff. Oh, I believe they were also forging documents. So grandma, mama.

would sign the form saying that the family gave permission and the family didn't give permission. And then she would go back there, do the harvesting and then send it off anyways and make money. So if these people were getting cremated, what was she giving them like sand? Uh, so there's still other parts of the body. I mean, even if you empty all the organs out and maybe the tendons and the muscles, you're still going to have the, the main meat suit. She said meat suit. Yeah. Do you want to hear something sick?

You can re-rent the body out. What? So like you can, it's legal. You can like send the body. So right here it says, can a broker rent the same body or body part repeatedly to different customers? Answer is yes. For example, a torso might be rented to one medical group for training, returned and then rented again to another set of doctors. Yes. I actually, so when we were in mortuary school, they really don't like you to talk about this, but

The room that they kept all of the donors in, I mean, they have shelves and they're just stacked. And so they need to preserve them. I will never get that smell out of my nose. It lives there rent free. What does it smell like? I heard that a dead body burned smells like a bean burrito. Actually, that's a totally different question. Actually, it smells like really bad barbecue that's super burnt that you can't inhale. Oh.

Oh. It's like a, that's also a smell you do not get out of your nose.

But this is a different one. This is like a chemically smell mixed with decomposition because they literally put these bodies in this like stronger than embalming fluid, like this super strong solution. And it strips away the color of your skin, like everything. And then they're able to open up so you can see all the tendons and things. So each program, so usually how it happens, we as the mortuary students, we get the donor bodies last. So the dental students will rent them. And then the

The nurses will come in. How do they keep them fresh? With all those chemicals, the smell, I will never. It stays on you too, like in your hair and in your clothes. You go home, I have to shower twice, like bathe. My husband could always tell when I was in lab and doing embalmings.

Because of the smell. Oh my goodness. I can't even describe it to you. I really couldn't. It's now, now let's circling back. Donation is a gift. It's a wonderful gift. I never would have learned how to embalm, but we're just normalizing talking about this. Right. And it is what it is. I'm really just cut.

I'm just telling you how it is. So that's just how it is. No, I've never heard that a dead body smells good. I don't think anybody's ever heard that. No, no, no, no. So I definitely think that, you know, if anybody's smelled any dead bodies, it's you. Yeah. I have lots of free sniffs there. That would actually be a great marketable idea for you is create a perfume and call it something crazy because you are a mortician. They actually have a, they already have a perfume that's supposed to smell like a cadaver.

okay i don't know about smelling like a cadaver i was saying something that smelled good i'll mail it to you no i'm good i don't ever want to know what a damn cadaver smells like i like it i could tell you what decomposition smells like if you really want to know yeah let's why not um so have you ever had chicken go bad in your fridge yes and yeah one time we left four rotisserie chickens in our refrigerator on accident and it was like four months later by the time we found them and that was the worst smell ever oh that's what it smells like

But combine that with heat. Put it outside. So if you ever smelled your garbage can, again, not trying to be disrespectful. I'm just trying to tell you what it smells like. Outside in the heat and you open that can, you're like, whoa, that's what our body decomposition smells like. Goodness gracious. Yeah. I had an agent one time tell me that there's a smell of decomp, but then when those little bubbles burst,

it makes the smell like 10 times worse. She said like, like the body will bubble up or like when it marbleizes and like the body gets big and like turns white and then you can see all like the, the marbling on it. Yeah. That's like the worst. That's such a, uh, just a,

terrible process it's so interesting yeah no it's crazy we could talk about it oh my goodness okay so she is cutting up bodies yep so they neither discussed nor obtained authorization for donation of the decedent's bodies or body parts for body broker services

And the Department of Justice said in a statement adding that in some instances, the families had specifically declined to donate the bodies. And according to the plea deal, Hess told mourning families that their loved ones would be cremated. So kind of like what we mentioned. Yeah. And instead sold the parts or their whole bodies, their whole damn bodies for scientific or

medical or educational purposes at a body broker business. She operated. So she also operated the business from the same premises as the funeral home. Can you talk about double dipping? But do you want to know what's crazy to me? I looked up how much money that she made off of selling these bodies and she only made like a million dollars in 10 years.

so was she low-balling like what is happening you know because i'm sorry but if i'm gonna face jail time you better give me a couple m's yeah like give me something to fucking be plush with when i get out of prison that just tells you she never thought she was gonna get caught and she was just doing it to be small right yeah said 1.2 million damn yeah what's um i don't do math i do science what's 1.2 million divided by 10 years

Oh God, you're asking the wrong person. 1.2 divided by 10. I count money. I don't add it and subtract it. How much was it? I can't figure it out. Yeah. That's what we're talking about. I'm not the math whiz over here. I can make money and count it. Yeah. 10 years. 10 years.

she made 120 000 a year that's nuts to be into can you imagine how your conscience would be she didn't have one yeah i would be so freaked out like i would feel like these people's spirits were kind of come back to haunt me they had to have been haunting her ass all the time imagine her now just sitting in like this prison right now oh just tormented by all the spirits yeah can you imagine i can't do it i couldn't

I don't know how you went to bed at night knowing that you're literally cutting up people's loved ones and selling their body parts. Listen to this, though. Hundreds of bodies were harvested and sent across the world with destinations ranging from Fort Collins to Saudi Arabia. Okay, I'm sorry. That's illegal. That has to be illegal. Yeah, yeah. And also, she was making way more than that. Yeah. That's what they were able to find. Right. She was definitely making way more than that. Yeah, for sure.

A witness had said in the courtroom that we will never know the final resting place of our mom. We will never know what happened to her. Is she on display somewhere? Is she in a medical waste bin somewhere? Was she chopped up like an old car? That just gave me chills. That's so disheartening to know that you had no idea where your loved ones ended up or who you have. You know, like...

she could have just given you like you said you know she could just mix them all together yep yep and just giving you a bag and just said oh this is your loved one you have no idea because if if someone got cremated think about that if someone got cremated and she still had the body she clearly had to cut it up still yeah so whatever she gave the person couldn't have been the person if she's out there just you know hacking at them have you ever had to dismember a body

No, thankfully not. That's a really big thing because I'll have families, they'll ask, they'll say, can I have grandma's gold teeth? Grandma always wanted me to have her gold teeth. And they don't teach me how to remove teeth in school. Can you picture me in the back with a hammer knocking those suckers out? No. Oh my gosh. And I'll ask the families that. I'm like, no. And if you want to hire a dentist, that's fine. They know how to do that. You have to be so careful at the funeral home because...

desecration of a corpse is a really big thing. So we always have to have signatures that says it's okay to do something. I've also never removed breast implants. Really? Even for cremation? Because I heard they explode. They don't explode, but sometimes they can melt and then not fully melt away. So they get a little gummy, the forbidden gummies on the bottom of the crematory floor. So you just kind of scrape it out.

But what I do remove from the body is pacemakers. So you'll see those like under, you know, we remove those. But we have signatures and I get permission and I tell them like so that they know what's happening back there. And she...

Thankfully, I've never had to dismember a body. Yeah. Good. Okay. So no Jeffrey Dahmer shit going on. No. Right? I would never do that. I mean, I have a stomach for a lot of things. I've definitely put people back together. I've just never taken them apart. Goodness gracious. I couldn't imagine.

In such circumstances, despite lacking any authorization, Koch and Hess recovered body parts from or otherwise prepared entire bodies of hundreds of descendants for body broker services.

In the few instances where families agreed to donation, Hess and Koch sold the remains of these descendants beyond what was authorized by the family, which was often limited to small tissue samples, tumors, or portions of skin. Hess and Koch also delivered cremated

cremains to families with the representation that the cremains were not that were that of the descendant when frequently that was not the case. That was exactly what I was wondering. Yeah. If they were just given these families just random sex. Yeah. That's so disheartening. That's crazy. You know, we do have people that don't get picked up from the funeral home sometimes. What do you do? Oh my goodness. They just sit on a shelf.

forever forever is it just because they don't have family or uh they have family i think sometimes they just don't want to acknowledge the loss i mean we call we write we you know and every funeral home has one we have shelves with people that never get claimed so she could have been taking um ones that were never cleaned and just taking you know handfuls out and adding it to if she really did harvest these bodies for everything that they were worth that she could get

Even more gross. Read the last paragraph. I saw that. Yeah. According to the plea agreements, Hess and Koch would also ship bodies and body parts that tested positive for or belonging to people who had died from infectious diseases, including hep B and C, HIV, and oh my God, I can't. After certifying to buyers that the remains were disease-free.

The shipments would be through the mail or on commercial air flights in violation of Department of Transportation regulations regarding the transportation hazardous. That is so sickening. I mean, okay, but what are people doing with these things?

What do you buy a body part for? Because clearly that if it's you mean like if it's not medical, what is your point of having a dead body? What are you doing to it? Are you domering it? Yeah. Yeah, they probably are. Or did you there was a case recently where they were supposed to be donating bodies up at Harvard and they had people buying bodies.

the skin or the heads or the skulls and then they had their little shops that they I mean like oddity shops it's a whole black market for their shit that is crazy I wonder how many heart like harvested human because I have a human skull that I bought from an oddity shop that's hanging on my wall in my house oh I wonder if that why did I always think that was fake no it's real that's real yeah

I know. You know, as scary as I am about shit like that, when I saw it. You don't even like cremation people in your home. I know. But you have someone's skull? Yeah. What if the... I just saw a lamp. I was in... Where was I? I was in Cali. I was in Cali and we went to this shop. In the whole shop, they had little drawers with teeth, people's teeth.

I don't even know how they got them with teeth. They had a vertebrae from someone that had been cremated and it was in a lamp. They had the lamp. I didn't, I, until then, I actually didn't even know you could go to these stores. I asked the guy, I said, where did you buy this from? He goes, we actually get it from a state sales.

So wherever the fuck these people. So rich people. Yep. Harvesting fucking body parts and just having them made into lamps and shit. There will always be a market for anything. Very Ed Gein of them. Yeah. People are crazy. Some people are crazy. Yeah. Ed Gein was obsessed with like

the idea of having body parts on display. Like, he's the one that they made, like, Texas Chainsaw Massacre after and everything. He, like, dug up his mom and cut out her vagina and painted it silver and put a bow on her clit and hung it on the wall. I'm not shocked that often, but holy fuck. Yeah, he's like... Well, they considered him a serial killer only because...

technically he killed three people but he wasn't like one of those people that like went for death he was more obsessed with the idea of death versus actually killing people so he would dig up people and just like cuddle them and hold them and then like he would eat out of skulls like his cereal bowls were just like upside down skulls he's the one that like sewed all the skin together that will never get scratched and like belts and like jackets and stuff that's where they made texas chainsaw massacre

It's like based off of his story because he had an obsession with the idea of death. So I feel like these lamps and stuff, it's like the same, the Ed Gein effect is like

It was just an obsession with death and it is a niche that can be scratched. And they just constantly, you know, those kinds of things. Now don't get me wrong. I love taxidermy and all of those. Yeah. I love taxidermy too. My whole salon has taxidermy all over the place. But they're not humans. Yeah. And it's like an appreciation of, you know, a cycle of life. I feel like it's a form of art, but humans, I feel like there's such much more of like a connection, like a soul tie to those parts that, that like bothers me to think about.

Yeah, no, for sure. I never really... I think about if those people consented or not. Like when I was in that shop, they had three full skeletons and one of them was like from the 1900s or something and part of her like rib cage was like pushed in. And I just wonder like, did she consent to being dug up? Absolutely not. I just, that's what I think about it. What would cause her chest to be caved in? It's hard to say. They could have dug her up and, you know, the...

the coffin that she was buried in the wooden coffin could have collapsed the ground could have caved in and then they dug it all up anyways i mean it's so hard to say that's wild yeah think about yeah you're right like the coffin you know they didn't make nice coffins back then no or it could have been how she died and they just um you know everything decayed away from her and then finally showed it's so hard to say and they didn't tell me i didn't ask i just you know that's so i really thought like dismembering bodies was illegal

Yeah, me too, until I fucking read this article and started researching it. So what they really got Megan for was the shipping of these parts and then the lying to the family, hoarding documents and stuff. So that's how the mom got caught in all of this. But imagine that. That's what you choose to do with your life. But she didn't even get charged for mailing the infectious bodies. Where was the charges for that? Because all I saw was aiding and abetting, shipping, and mail fraud. She did a plea agreement.

She did a plea agreement. She's like, I'm up Shed's Creek without a paddle, so let me take a plea. Yeah, let me take anything I possibly can at this point. She's like, I'm about to be eating Big Wanda's badussy. Not in a park. Okay.

She's like, let me only do this for 20 years and not 40. You're very smart. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Very smart. Honestly, the ethic part of all of this is just, I mean, beyond me. There's no ethics. Yeah. The one time I did hair for someone who had passed, that still sticks with me to this day. And to think how many she did over that 10 year span and you had them coming in all day, every day. That's amazing.

Like how busy I want to touch dead bodies. Last time I touched, I wouldn't even touch my mom when she passed and I was in the room. She was dead. I was able to say my goodbyes to her in the hospital. Um,

I wouldn't touch her because the last time I touched a dead body, I ended up with the worst suicidal ideation I've ever had. Of course it was the same time around a bunch of shit that had been happening, but I went to a funeral and touched my friend's chest and told him that I loved him. And I'm telling you, I battled with suicidal ideation for almost a year or two years after that. Two years. Yeah, it was a good two years and I will never touch a dead body again. So I can't imagine how this woman is touching all these dead bodies and just

the karma that she has reaped for herself. Okay. So I want to know, so when you put your hand, we got into my trauma. Um, so when you put your hand on their chest, is it just because it's cold? Is it just because it didn't feel like how you thought it was going to feel? Is that why it triggered you when you? No, I, I have always been able to see spirits. I've always been able to feel things. I've always been able. So this was a friend who was violently killed, uh,

Oh my gosh.

And I just went home and literally it was like immediately just depression. And like, I mean, I'm talking like, Lauren, when I tell you it, I told Jay the best way to describe it. And like I said, I was going through a lot of other shit at the time too. I had just lost it. I just had a miscarriage. I was going, I had just had my breast implants removed. So, I mean, there's a number of factors, but this all ties into each other. So it's like, I'll never touch a dead body again because of that. But it was like,

eternal sadness. It was like he was showing me like, this is how sad I am. I want you to feel how sad I am. You know, it was just the worst feeling. Like I, I was so tired that the thought of living to 50 exhausted me.

So how did you, how did you come out of that? Did you, I'm a fighter. Did you banish that, those, that away? Like that, that I prayed, I, you know, I've done, I prayed, I, I don't really, I, Jesus is literally the only thing that probably pulled me out of that. And it took a good, almost two years. I talk about it a lot on the podcast, you know, cause I went through it, but Jesus exercise will to live, will to not let the darkness win. You know, when you get that low, you just get to a point where you're like,

me personally gets to a point where I'm like, I'm not going to let the devil win. I'm not these thoughts, this darkness, this isn't me. Like I, I'm a, I love light, you know? So I'm obsessed with dark things. I'm curious about them, but I don't want that to be in me, you know? So it was just a fight. It literally was. I fought for my life for two straight years of just Mimi saw it. I went through hell. It was crazy. Um,

But yeah, so that's why I'll never touch a dead body. So this lady, I don't know how she fucking has touched and done the dead so wrong. I mean, obviously she's getting her karma now, but spiritually, we're in spiritual warfare 24-7. Yeah. And I'm not one of these crazy like Bible thumpers, but I do know that there is another side of life and it's spiritual warfare that we're always going through. There's always light and dark that's going on around us, you know?

So I don't know how it hasn't came back to her. I mean, yeah, I would love to know what she's going through, if she's ever had any type of, you know, experiences since going through this. We should probably reach out and try to interview her. Well, she's in prison for 20 years, so she's probably not doing much else. Yeah, we'll go do an interview in the prison. So, Rod. Can you try? You should try. I would try. Yeah, we could.

We'll see how the murder mystery... I don't feel like I would want to bring myself to someone like that. Yeah. We could do a phone call. I would. Yeah. We could do a phone call. No, we could go visit her in prison if you want to go. Let's see if these murder mystery podcasts pop off. We might be doing one a month, so we'll see how it goes. I will fly with you to go out there if you want. Let's do it. That would be fun. That would be fun. We definitely would need you to be a normal. I wonder what her hair looks like now in prison. A flat. A flat.

She's not getting that high. She said she is not getting that fucking volume. All the lies went. She said all flat. Well, guys, thank you for tuning into our first murder mystery podcast. Lauren, why don't you tell people where they can find you? Shout out all of your socials. Yeah. So you can find me on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok at Lauren, the mortician. Watch out on Facebook, folks. There's lots of fake ones. And yeah, check me out on TikTok. Yay.

Thanks for having me. Yeah. Thanks, Mimi. Thanks for sitting in. Oh, you're welcome.

I love it. I think we like Mimi on the podcast. It's kind of fun. I love her. I know. I'm going to take her home with me. Please don't. She is my right hand woman. I cannot survive without her. I'm also taking the dog. Yeah. He won't go. Taking the dog too. Fucking he won't go. This dog is so bougie. I'm telling you. Chachi is like this. He's like my mom is my mom and I'm not. He's the most loyal animal I've ever had. And I love that about him. Hmm.

Such a baby. But definitely if these murder mysteries pop off, we're going to have to bring you back for another one because I think it'll be awesome. Let's go. Yay. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.