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Is this thing on? Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast, Dunblanc. Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child. And here we are. I'm so excited.
What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today, I have my personal favorite TikTok star. I know that you're so much more than a TikTok star, but I know a lot of people know Morgan Presley on TikTok. What's up, baby? How are you? Not much. What's up? Hi.
She's like, with that kind of intro. No, I'm doing good. You're one of my favorite creators because you are so funny, dude. Aw, thank you. Like, your stuff is original. It's... It's...
relatable, you know, you're sitting on the toilet shitting, like, you know, all that stuff just really tickles my pickle. You just put the whole life out there. Yeah. No, I love that. Unapologetically. How are you? Welcome to Nashville. Yeah, it's hot here. Humid. Yeah. It's humid because I'm from Vegas. So my husband's always like, it's fucking hot. And I'm like, no, no, it's not. No, Vegas is different. It's dry heat. No, it's brutal. This is like humid. Yeah. I don't know. I think I would rather prefer humid over dry. How about you? Really?
I don't know. I kind of like the humidity. Yeah? Yeah, because I like sweating. Yeah. It makes you feel good. Yeah, me too. And it leaves a good glow. Yeah, like dewy. You don't feel like you're aging as you're sitting there. No, I wonder if that's like a scientific thing. Yeah, it could be. Like humidity helps you not age. We need to look that up. Yeah, we do. I think that's important to know.
because then i'll be moving yeah google that hayley google that for me and let me know i'd be moving from california if so yeah for sure or be getting botox either one well listen join the club baby i know i'm getting a head wrinkle i'm like i'm 24 years old why am i having a head wrinkle are you 23 yeah don't 24 24 when's your birthday march 11th my pisces your pisces i'm a pisces venus we're lovers oh yeah we are we're dreamers and lovers
That's why you're so creative and artsy. Yeah. Makes 100%... I like being alone and...
And I like creating. She's like, I hate people. But I also need to be loved. It's just chaos. Isn't that such a fucking contradiction? I love being alone, but I need to be loved. Yeah. I want to know more about your story. Okay. You opened up a little bit on TikTok and you had talked about your family. And I loved when you did that because, you know, nobody knows the girl behind the, I don't want to say facade, but I feel like we're all putting on a little bit of a facade on our social medias because that's who we are. We're just...
grandiose personalities and we just have to you know, we want to make people smile we don't want to go on there and show the ups and downs and you know the the too real like we want to be real but not too real. Um, so you were talking about Take me back. You grew up in Pennsylvania. Yes. I grew up in Pennsylvania And I grew up in a little little trailer with my family there my dad He was a truck driver and my mom didn't work then we moved to a little bit of a bigger house and
Um, him and my mom had like this really rough relationship. That's something I didn't talk about. Um, in the Tik TOK. When you say rough, what do you mean? Um,
It was very like verbally abusive. It's hard to grow up in a house full of parents that argue. That was one of the reasons why I left home at 14. Yeah. I was so tired of hearing my parents fight. Yeah. I mean, the same thing happened for me. I was 17 and like as soon as I got the chance to leave, I did. Yeah. Yeah. There was no way I wanted to stay there. I didn't even have like a job and I left like an hour from home. Didn't have a job or anything and I just saved up my money and left.
Because that was like the best thing that I could do for myself at the time. I feel like we don't talk about verbal. I feel like everybody zeroes in on physical, but like emotional and verbal abuse, even if it's not directed at you, you're growing up in such a chaotic household needs to be talked about. No, and it also warps your idea of what love is. Right. Which, you know, like...
fucked me up for a long time oh I bet yeah so like seeing like my mom like chuck a big like ceramic rooster into my dad's head and they were like tussling on the ground they never thought that like thought that my brother and I saw it yeah we would like hide behind the doors and like crack it and see what was happening and I don't think they ever like knew that we were watching that and seeing it
But yeah, we were like completely aware of it. That's got to be tough. Yeah. And then it's like you almost feel like you have to pick sides of the parent. Totally. Because it's like, you know, it's like you want to be mad at your dad, but you also love your dad, but you want to be mad at your mom for saying this to your dad. I know exactly how it is. And it just, it gets to a point where it's just too much. It's an overload. Yeah. And like, that's how it was. My brother was like on my dad's side and like the arguments and stuff. And I was on like my mom's side. And that's just how it was. Like we were...
completely like divided oh no I hate that for you guys it is what it is it's all right I don't even talk to anybody in my fucking family sometimes that's the better route literally that's what I had to do to keep the peace in my fucking head was just cut everybody off and just fucking you know I have no and if that brings you peace and then that that's what you need to do yeah I didn't talk to my family for a few years but recently I came back around and started talking to them and my dad apologized for you know whatever happened in my childhood and
Are your parents still together? No. They divorced whenever, like right after high school because they wanted to stay together for the kids, you know.
I think that's the biggest mistake that parents make. Totally. Staying together for the kids. Yeah. Pretty much damage them more than if you guys split up and were happy and can learn how to co-parent together. A thousand percent. Like I remember sleeping at my grandma's house. Like I saw this TikTok. It was like, you don't know. You don't know parental trauma unless you stayed with your grandma. And I was like, damn, I stayed with my grandma. We put our stuff in trash bags and left. Oh.
Oh, I hate that. So you said that you saved up money. So you still went to school during all this. Did you graduate high school? Yeah, I graduated high school. I went to college for only like five days before dropping out. Yeah. But I just tell me to wait to don't don't skim over that so fast. Let's talk about it. So you went to college and you what college did you go to? I went to a community college in Florida.
And I got there and it was weird like I remember like getting my Starbucks before school in the morning and this was like right when the semester started I would like sit in my car and I would see everyone's so excited to go inside and I would go into my class and I was just be like what am I doing here? Like I don't I don't even have like an idea of what I want to do with my life I was sitting in this classroom learning fractions again for the 50th time like what am I doing? like
Like, it's almost like we're programmed. Yeah. Like you have to go to college. You have to do this if you want to be successful. That's exactly what it felt like. And also like I hate being a people pleaser, but I wanted to please my parents. Like they wanted me to go to college, you know, because like my parents didn't go to college when they were young. They didn't want me making that same mistake. And my older brother was already in college. And I didn't want to be the person to be like, yeah, I'm going to go move out and
work odd jobs until I figure out what I want to do it just sounded stupid right you want you wanted to please your parents but at the same time have a game plan yeah well clearly that didn't last long only five days no that's fine I actually went to college for to get my pre-reqs to be a dentist yeah and I went there for a week and I was like I can't even stand the fucking sight of blood what am I doing here literally I pass out when I see blood too I don't blame you yeah and then they told me the suicide rate of dentists and I was like oh god I'm already heard about
but isn't that like some of the highest like suicide rates? Which is, I have no idea. I have no fucking idea. But honestly, I had this dentist. His name was Dr. In Vegas. And he was fucking insane. The dude would like, he would like do stuff in my mouth. And like, if I was bleeding, he would be like, your blood smells so fresh.
What? What a psycho. And then he told me one day about how he used to wash his horse naked. And like, it was crazy. And then fucking, I guess he had a house next door to the fucking dentist place that he worked out of. And he used to throw rocks at little boys to like try to get them to come in his house. Yeah. No, it was, I've, I've had really Jeffrey Dahmer is going on. I don't know.
Had a really weird experience with Dennis. So yeah, I was just like, you know what? After a week, I was just like, you know when something's not for you. You're just like, no, my heart's not in it. I'm not going to do it. So you gave up going to college after five days. What do you do after that? Well, that's when I decided to move to Orlando. So then I went to Orlando. I got a job working at Ulta because I was like, well, I like makeup. I can do this, I guess.
Worked there. Then I went to Dior. I did makeup for Dior for like a year. And then I ended up getting fired for breakdancing. Like how rude, you know? I mean, who doesn't want to bust a worm in the middle of- That's what I did. I literally busted a worm to Michael Jackson. No.
That's hilarious. I thought it was funny. And I was wearing like a Dior dress. Yeah. Like that's what you have to wear the uniform. Yeah. And I like, so I worked at a counter, but there was also a manager for like the entire department store. Yeah. And the manager for the department store was like, yeah, do it. Like kick off your heels and go break dance. So I like took off my heels and I just started doing the worm. And then apparently someone from my Dior counter recorded me and sent it off to like the manager of like the whole thing. What an asshole.
Yeah. And then I was too embarrassed after she was like yelling at me and I just quit. And I was like, well, it probably triggered your childhood trauma getting yelled at. I was like, I can't even be myself. I'm out of here. But yeah, then I didn't do anything. Um, and then COVID started and then that's when I started doing TikToks. Yeah. That's just crazy how life is. You go from working at a Dior counter to millions of followers on TikTok. Which is so weird. Like, I don't feel like...
I have followers on TikTok. Like, I keep trying to explain this to people, but I'm like, I feel so freaking normal. Yeah. Like, so normal that it hurts. Like, I don't feel like I have any type of clout. Whenever people are like, oh, my God, I love you. I'm like, why? Yeah. I love that, though. What's going on with that? No, I love that. And that's why everybody does love you because you are so relatable. Take me on the TikTok journey. And is this... Are you in a relationship during this time? Okay, because I have seen...
Can we talk about that relationship? I don't want to be disrespectful. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. So talk about the relationship and then how you got into TikTok and how you found out that he was cheating with... Okay. Yeah. So basically that started in 2014. Oh, okay. Wow. And...
so you guys were together for a long time this just wasn't a flash in the pan no it was seven years wow yeah um that's who I moved out with whenever I was 17 so he was like you know what fuck it like the things with your family it's rough so we'll go was he older he was a year older than me okay so yeah so when I was 17 he was 18 that's how we were able to get an apartment because he was a year older um
But yeah, we moved to Orlando. I don't know. Things just started getting weird whenever I started doing TikTok.
I went through like a little, like, I don't know, like a phase of just like, wow, I can be myself again. Like I can, you know, do whatever I want. So I cut my hair. I dyed it brown. I gained a little bit of weight as well over COVID. Like who didn't? Yeah. We were sitting there eating the whole time. Nothing we could find. We were all locked in a house. Yeah. But I remember one day I was walking by his gaming room. He was a gamer. Red flag, by the way. Don't do that.
My husband's a gamer. Oh, never mind. But yeah, I was walking by his room and I heard a girl's voice and I was like, okay, that's weird. But like, I'm not the jealous type where I'm going to be like, you're streaming with a girl, like you're done, whatever. But the way he was talking to her was like the way that he would talk to me like before I
Things started getting weird. Like when we first met, like that flirty, whatever vibe. And he's just doing this with you in the house? Yeah. That's crazy. I know. And I was like, hmm. So I talked to him about it and I was like, I feel uncomfortable the way you were talking to her. It's not that you were talking to her. It's just the way. Yeah. So I can tell, you know, it's like the woman's intuition. You can tell when something's weird. Absolutely. So he was like, okay, like I won't talk to her anymore if it makes you uncomfortable. And I was like, cool. You know, whatever. A year goes by.
um I walk by his room again and I hear the same girl I could tell it was her voice a year a year away so he never talks to her again in front of you but I don't know right yeah so so what I found out he was doing is he would come check in check in on me at night make sure I was asleep and then go talk to her because I started staying awake for this like he would check on me I would pretend to sleep I would get up go to the door and hear him talking to her wow I would sit there and listen in to this conversation
But the disrespect, but the restraint that you have, dude, I would have fucking flown through that door so fast. I know it was hard, but like I felt so stuck because I was like, this is like most of my life. And this is the end of this person. I don't know myself. I can't get out of here because I had like maybe 100000 followers. I wasn't getting money. You know, like I didn't have the income to just go. And it seems to be a theme of you and your life peeking behind the door watching. Yeah.
Literally hurt you. Yeah. That's a good point. Wow. No, but, um, yeah. So eventually, um, hold on, let me think of where this is going. Um, you would wake up and. Oh yeah. Yeah. So he would be talking to this girl. Um, and I obviously couldn't leave because I didn't have the money for it. Um, but yeah,
Yeah, one day he said he was going on a beach vacation. And I was like, okay, like he did that a couple times before where he would just go clear his head without me. And I was like, okay, so I was going to LA. He was going to a beach, beach house thing. His sister actually sent me a snap, like a Snapchat, like a screenshot of him with some girl.
why did she do that just to tip you off? Yeah. She was like, Hey, like something's happening. I don't know if you guys are broken up or what, but he's with this girl. Wow. Yeah. So when I came back to LA, I was like, okay, well shout out to the sister though. No, literally she, even to this day still messages me and checks in on me. And she's so sweet. That was his little sister too. I think she was like 16 at the time, but yeah, major respect for her.
um but yeah after that that's whenever i decided to like get up and move um he also left he moved in with her you're leaving out a major part yeah but i didn't find out yet oh okay i didn't know so i'm like waiting with like bated breath yeah so basically how i found that out um you know after a breakup you you creep on someone yeah for sure so i went on his instagram
I saw a picture of them together and they were celebrating her 18th birthday a year after this had all been over. Yeah. So I was like, okay, so you were talking to her two years ago, which means she was 16. And how old was he? He was 20, 22. I couldn't imagine. That is so weird. Yeah. And it just like, it made me angry. Not...
But at him, I'm like... When she's a kid, she doesn't know. She doesn't even know. Yeah. You know? And it... I don't want to say I get where she's coming from, but I kind of do. Because he was loaded. He did the same with you. He had money. And this girl got, like, lucky in a way. She probably thought that this is everything for her. You know? Right. Little, like, knowing that he was, like, manipulative and probably would cheat on her, too. Like... You know, I wish I could just... He's going to replace her with a newer model whenever she gets...
you know, up there in age. I just felt so bad for her, but I'm not the person to be like, Hey, by the way, like just letting you know who this person is. Like, well, that doesn't work anyways. Girls don't listen. Exactly. And it's not my place to do that. Right. You know? Yeah. But yeah. How are you feeling during this time? Just completely. Are you heartbroken or just pissed off? She's like, hell no. No, I wasn't even heartbroken. Like I would tell my friends during this time, I feel like I'm living with a roommate.
You know, like I had hit milestones with my TikTok. Like I remember I had a million followers. I was so excited and I was like pumped and he was talking to her. And I was like, OK, well, never mind. So I went down the highway, blasted congratulations by Post Malone and living my best life. But yeah. And whenever I left, I was happy and relieved. Yeah. That I didn't have to deal with it anymore. You know, he was jealous of you. No, I know that's what it was because he had been trying to stream and
Like and be a professional streamer for years and years and years and years. And it took me no effort to like... Well, just being yourself because people love you for you. Being myself and it blew me up so quick. So let's talk about how fast it blew you up. Yeah. So you get on TikTok in 2020? Late 2019. I think like October. Okay. Take me on that journey. Um...
So starting off, I was like, I did not know what I was doing. Yeah. Like I was, I don't know. I didn't even know how TikTok worked, but someone we mutually follow, Gary Vaynerchuk.
okay yeah yeah so I saw that he was like get on TikTok like TikTok's the new thing and I was like sure I'll listen I've tried YouTube for years it's not working I'll try TikTok whatever yeah so I got on there and I posted my first TikTok it was like this little like outfit corny little outfit thing and it got 800 views and I know that doesn't sound like a lot but like my YouTube videos were at like 1.2 yeah you know and I was like
It's that easy and I don't even have followers and I'm getting views on stuff. Yeah So that's when I realized it if you make good content and get exposure you're gonna blow up. Oh, yeah for you know So I did those kind of videos for a little bit and then one day I was like, you know what? Let's try to do something comedy So I put all my clothes on like hoodies whatever and I drowned myself in my tub My bathtub and made this like stupid joke and that was my first like viral video It hit like 2 million and I was like in the second week
doing tiktok and ever since then i was like interesting so i'm just gonna do relatable content that people love original yeah and still be myself and it seems like people like me you know so that's i just took off with it and then within a year i hit a million followers
It's crazy. I was posting like 8 to 12 videos every single day. That's crazy. Well, it becomes a lifestyle. Yeah. People ask me all the time. They're like, how do you keep up with all your social medias? And I'm like, it's work. It's business. No, if you look at it as work, you know that you have to do it. Yeah. It's not just like... I mean, it is fun, but...
it's your livelihood. Yeah. It's your job. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So you're getting, gaining all this success on Tik TOK and you know, you're pretty much like telling your story, putting it out there. You are very open about mental health. And I know a lot of people,
give you a hard time because of how you looked before. Yeah. And as to now, can you kind of take me on that journey? And like, how does that make you feel when people say stuff like that? And then also, you know, why the transition with how you looked?
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Hmm. So it doesn't really bother me whenever people say that they like prefer how I look before because I know I'm still the same person. Yeah. You're so gorgeous. Shave my head. Okay. Like, yeah, it doesn't bother me. And also like, I know that those photos were heavily photoshopped. Right. You know, like, come on. I was face tuning the fuck out of my face. Right. Um,
But you're still beautiful. You still have the same face. Like it's not like you look drastically different. Thank you. Yeah. I like my new shaved head. Fuzzy. I wish I could shave my head. My head's too big. I have a dumb one. Yes. There's no fucking way. I would look like fucking that dude off of, um, what is that fucking movie? Like a predator. Oh,
I was going to say Megamind. Just fucking like big. Yeah. Whatever. Whoever has the biggest head. That's me. But then you could look like a cool alien. Yeah. Literally. I don't know. My husband would be like just palm in my head. Yeah. But I don't know how the transition happened. It just like over time. Like. Did you just get tired of being like. Yeah. Every other blonde. Definitely. Because like inside I was like always this like super weird girl. Yeah. Like I have videos of me looking like with the blonde hair. Like.
dancing and like making cracking jokes and making the weird faces that I do but that was all behind like the camera you know what I mean and like
if I ever had those videos no way would I post them you know yeah but like I was always the same person but now like I feel like the outside actually matches my inside right because like I'm just I don't know embracing it's just a sort of like liberating freedom yeah I'm just not having to be a stereotype like I honestly I felt better whenever I had gained weight and I had the grown-out hair and like whatever versus like when I was a skinny little blonde like I felt better
As the worst version of myself. Yeah. Versus that. Which is weird. I understand that. Yeah. Because you have to... It's expectations. Society puts such...
standards on women. Totally. It's like men can age gracefully, but heaven fucking forbid if a woman gets a damn wrinkle or shakes her head. Literally. I know. It's fucked up. I'm thinking about Botox because I have a little tiny wrinkle on my forehead. Listen, I'm all for maintenance. I'm 43. Yeah. See, but you look like you're 20. I love you. Like in your 20s. We can make out after this. Okay. Okay.
But I believe in maintenance because I started getting Botox in my 20s and that's why I don't have wrinkles now is because I got Botox. Not saying that you have to go out and get Botox. Some of you bitches are blessed and fucking don't get wrinkles at all. That wasn't the case with me. My mom looked like Shrek so I had to do everything I could
Dude, fucking prevent that from happening. I don't have great genetics either. I heard at 25, that's when your body starts actually like decomposing and like dying essentially. So next year's the year for a little Botox. God, I'm like the grip keeper over here then. You look good. It's all the drugs and alcohol I did that preserved me. Did you ever get into drugs and alcohol? Yeah. Can we talk about that?
Sure. So I've been sober for almost a year. Congratulations. I've been sober for about, I think like six or seven years now. Congratulations. Thank you so much. It sucks. I know. Sobriety fucking sucks. Yeah. It's the worst fucking thing. I miss like the bar scene and doing the key bumps in the bathroom. Dude, off the fucking dirty ass toilet. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. My OCD is on overdrive. Right? Like crowded all the girls in the bathroom. Oh, dude. I would fucking snort coke off strippers that I didn't even know. Fucking. See, I never got the chance. Oh, man.
man well listen if you ever go back you got to do it at least once all right but don't do it now because drugs nowadays they're fucking just you can't trust you can't trust it yeah i used to give out fentanyl test strips at the bars yeah everyone if you're doing coke like make sure you don't got that no like we don't need any overdoses yeah for sure and stuff like that oh yeah take me on your drug journey
So basically after the good old breakup, I had never drank. I was 20, 20, 21, 22. I'd never drank before. Like he wouldn't let me. So I went out to a bar for the first time whenever things started just falling apart. He wouldn't let you. He seems like a real controlling. Yeah. Like he wouldn't let me have friends. I had this gay friend that like a gay guy. He was so pissed. So pissed.
so pissed. I do as insecure as fuck. Yeah. Clearly. Like he didn't even have any friends. Like shut the fuck up. Anyways. Yeah. But clearly he's a fucking gaming with 16 year olds shows his mentality. Yeah. Anyways. But yeah, I started drinking for the first time and then, you know, a friend of mine pulled out a little Coke bag. That was fun. Yeah. Very fun. But then it got to a point where I don't know in my head. I was like Coke is going to help me
focus and it is gonna help me wake up in the morning and it is gonna help me get creative because i thought it did coke made me shit
That too. Like every time, you know, everybody who's doing bumps of cocaine, they've got skid marks. Yeah, I know. You are going straight to the bathroom and taking a dump. Yeah. That's literally what it was like. Take a bump. You go shit. Yeah. Take a bump. Take a dump. Literally a bump and a dumpy. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I started like doing coke in the mornings to like, good Lord, creative and shit. You're a fucking savage. I had to be shit face to do low. See, that's what I mean at first. Yeah. But then I was like, this is helping me like
I love you. Get into my zone. She's like, I found a positive and a negative. Literally. But then, you know, you start hearing the birds. Your heartbeat's like. God. You can hear your heartbeat in your fucking ears. Literally. That's the worst, dude. And then like occasionally. Start drinking mouthwash to calm down. Literally. Occasionally I would go on benders with my friends, you know, like a couple of days of just straight drinking and blow. Yeah.
but I never really liked doing that because like the voices. Yeah, no. Terrifying. No, it's brutal. And the last time I did coke heavily, heavily at least,
I was at my house on a bender with one of my friends and I had been doing a snorting lines of Adderall, snorting lines of Coke. Damn. And drink drinking heavily. Your heart was like, which way is up? It was fucked. It was like two days. And then I tried to go to sleep. And that is the worst feeling in the world when you just want to sleep on drugs and you can't.
Yeah. That's why we used to drink mouthwash because it had alcohol in it. That's smart. No, I mean, is it? Your breath is going to smell great. I mean, is it smart or is it desperate? Maybe a little bit both. Iconic. Yeah. But yeah, I remember like laying in bed and I don't know if I was overdosing or what this was.
But I felt like this is going to sound absolutely batshit crazy. But I felt my soul like leaving my body. Like I was up there. Yeah. And I would have to keep coming back to consciousness to like suck it in almost. And it happened all night. And I remember like I've never prayed before, but I literally sat there and I was like, listen, if I fucking wake up in the morning, like I will not do this shit again.
Because I literally thought I was dying. Like, I could feel my heart and, like, my soul was leaving. And that was so scary. Yeah. And I woke up the next morning, thank God. And I woke up and I just started crying. I was like, I cannot believe I'm here. Like, that's crazy. Yeah. But, yeah, that's when I was really like, okay, you have an issue. Yeah. And you need to cut it the fuck out. Sometimes we need hard lessons like that. Yeah. I was on a bender one time, so fucked up, in my house by myself. I tried to smoke cocaine like it was crack. Yep.
I've never told anybody that, but it was one of those vendors where you just get weird, you know? And it's fucking, I think I was digging in the carpet and found like a couple of like fucking just hard rocks that hadn't been broken up that I could snort and tried to fucking smoke them. And I was like,
I smoked a fucking two packs of Newports that night. And I just remember thinking like, I can't live like this anymore. This is fucking gross. You know, carbon hairs. Whenever you see it from the outside, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. Like looking back on it, it's wild. I love that you had enough energy.
um, you know, self-awareness to be like, this is not how I should fucking live. Yeah, no, it's, I think it really hit me. I was going to go see my dad. I've never told anyone this, but I was going to go see my dad and I went over and I was even fucked up when I would go see my family. Um, and I remember my dad hugging me and he was like, I can't feel anything but bones.
And that just broke my heart. I was like, I didn't even realize that I was getting, like, so skinny. Yeah. Until he said, like, I can't feel you. I can just feel bones. It broke my heart. Yeah. So, dad kind of indirectly saved you, too, in a way. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Like, just...
feeling how sad he was like he didn't even know what was going on but right just even hearing that i was like okay like i can't have my dad say that to me but at the time i was like that's a compliment because we're so sick our eating disorders were like no literally nothing tastes as good as skinny literally that was another reason i did it too i was like i don't want to eat so
See, the thing is, is I wouldn't eat while I was on it. But Lord, when I came down pizza, fucking the Domino's pizza, chicken kickers were my thing. I mean, I was fucking robust for a Coke addict. Yeah. Okay. Like just pleasantly plump. I know I could even eat on it sometimes, which was disappointing. I'm like,
I'm like, come on. What's the point? So on the road to sobriety, how easy was it for you to quit? Were you able to just wake up and be like, you know what? I learned my lesson. I don't want to do this. Or was it more of like it was kind of a process? Yeah. So it was cold turkey. It was not a process at all. You're like me. I'm the same way. Once I'm done with something, I'm like, fuck that. Yeah, literally. Like.
once I put it down, I didn't pick it back up. And that's just that. Good. I'm so proud of you. A lot of people can't do that, you know, but whenever I say people are like, how did you stop doing pills and stuff? And I'm like, I just didn't want to do them one day. And I never did them again. If you, if in your head, you don't want to do something, you just won't. You know what I mean? Yeah. If you're like, I don't want to do this shit anymore. I think it's where you get to a point of just being so disgusted with yourself and you're just like,
What in the fuck? Like, who am I? What am I doing? I'm better than this. I'm smoking cocaine rocks. Literally. With carpet fuzz on them. I can't do this anymore. The drip's not worth it. Come on. At all. So let's talk about sobriety. We had started touching base on that, and I told you how much sobriety sucks. How's your mental health since getting sober and moving to LA and-
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Sign up today. So basically a lot of my friends, not only friends, but sober friends live in LA. Right. That's awesome. Yeah. So it's good to have like a good community around you. But also I was flying to LA like constantly. I was like, this is so much money. Like thousand dollar tickets back and forth like constantly. From Florida? Yes. Orlando, Florida. So I was doing that and I was like, I'm just going to move. And even before I...
Whenever I met Lou, I even told him, I was like, listen, I'm moving to LA. You can come with me. You can stay. It's up to you. He decided to come with me. Yeah. Lou is here. You want to bring Lou in? Come on in. Come on down, Lou. You guys are so cute together. Thanks. Thanks.
So you're going to sit right there and then you can adjust the microphone to your liking and we'll kind of ease you into the story. So, okay, we got Lou's microphone working. So I don't know if you guys heard before or not, but we're bringing Lou in because they met in Orlando before they moved to LA and they were just telling us about their first night, their first date, meeting on Tinder. Take it from there, baby. All right. So...
We're talking. Lots and lots of talking. Was it sexual talking? Of course. Yeah, baby. No. What do we look like? Hold on.
So this is exactly what happened. So it's really weird. I came from overseas because I just got out the army, right? Oh, okay. So I moved in with my brother because he was having a hard time because of my whole family situation. Right. And next thing you know, I put on my Tinder bio. I know it's kind of silly to put it in your Tinder bio, but I put just looking for friends. I just moved here. Aww. But next thing you know, it's just like 2 in the morning. She's just sexual innuendo.
like you know like the little gifs i was sending like little sexy gifs well she gets the point of tinder tinder is like an app to like fuck yeah yeah what wasn't that attracted you to him so much he had such a cool style and like vibe and like florida people don't have that i'm sorry anyone in florida but like step it up um but yeah he had like a really dope style and he was also like in tune with his emotions and like he respected women crazy right right so i was like this one right here
That's a good one. And what attracted you to her? Honestly, she was a lot different. Like she said, like all the people I've interacted with in the past, like platonic or not platonic, they were just weird. You know, they didn't mess well. I don't know if it's just because I'm antisocial with my Capricorn abilities or whatever you want.
you want to call it i love that i'm a cap aquarius yeah um yeah so next you know when i met her it was so cap and pisces are soulmate signs by the way i know that's the first thing we looked up we looked it up oh good yeah so next thing you know it was like really weird because like how you said you know it's that instant connection like even off the fact like i first stated hey i'm just here for friends nothing nature of that nature or whatever right next thing you know she just like
blended so well with me and actually you know it just took off it just took off like when she threw out the first you know a little you know little risky text i was like i'm receiving it so i don't care yeah you know we're gonna roll the dice risk it for the biscuit yeah yeah why do you think i went and picked him up in the middle of the night come on right so it's five o'clock in the morning yeah you're like bitch i'm coming over yeah okay i'm picking you up so i hop in my car and
And I drive to him and I'm in the boonies of Florida. I'm like, I've never been here before. I'm scared. Anyways, I park on this dark street, turn my lights on and I'm sitting outside waiting. And all of a sudden he comes up to me and he kisses my cheek. I've never even like met this man before, but that was his promise to me. He was like, I'll kiss you on the cheek when I see you, whatever. Oh, make sure it's not some stranger. I know, right? Stranger dangers. I was like, okay, let's go.
She's like, it's 5 a.m. My motor's revved and roaring. Ready to go. I'm ready to roll. But you can explain what happened when you got in the car. Oh, Lord. So I don't even know how it happened. Like in her profile, you know, I was like, oh, she smoked cigarettes. I'm like, okay, whatever. I smoke cigarettes. Not a big deal, right? I thought, you know, the whole memes of like,
some women having messy cars was like not real. I thought that was like, oh, that's just a misogynist thing. I opened the passenger door and all you hear is Arizona Red Bull. Oh,
Just trying to sift inside her car. Literally. Like, I did not clean the car out for him. There's Red Bull cans stacked up. Bitch, I love you. That is... She's like, take me as I am. Oh, yeah. Here we are. I have arrived. Literally. I didn't even, like... I wasn't even like, oh, just watch out for the cans. I was like, I just let him get in. The eagle has landed. Literally. I was like, here we are. Yeah, it was like, instantly I was like, this is my kind of woman.
He's like, I love a trashy bitch. I was just like, don't worry, I got you. I was like, you want Marlboro? She's like, you see my car, you should see my pussy. I love that. Just as chaotic. That's amazing. So you guys go back to your place. And what happens there? The fun doesn't stop. No, we're like old people when we get inside. I'm like, this is like...
Would you like a pot of coffee? We made a pot of coffee. A pot of coffee at 5 a.m.? Yeah. You weren't on blow, were you? No. Okay. Of course not. That was like a couple dates later. Okay. Yeah. She's like, I was sober and somber. Yeah. But yeah, we made a pot of coffee and then we have a similar artist that we love, Orville Peck. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's like our favorite. So I had a record player. I had Orville Peck record. He used to be married to Kat Von D, right? I don't know.
I might be thinking of the wrong Orville. No, no, that's a different guy. Okay. I don't know. Never mind, scratch that. But I do know who he is. We put on Roses is Falling. That's our favorite song. And we danced and then we kissed. So yeah. Then you know where things went from there. Right. This one, oh my God. It's like sometimes I have to wear a chastity belt around her. It's really bad. She's horny. Yeah. That's good. I don't even know if that's the word. It's feral. She's horny.
She's a Pisces. I'm a Pisces Venus. I'm feral too. Like, I have an insatiable appetite for sex. Like, literally. Like the Rob Zombie song. I know. Swear to God. Like, it's just, you can't stop it. Like, I'm sure on the first date it was like 15 times. Good Lord. And you kept up? Yes.
Lou! I just got out of the military. I still had the stamina. I didn't have... No, I'm good. Lou is the man. I know. I love that. It was wild. I was like, you know what? You respect women. You're...
fucking like no other yeah like you fucking hit the jack or you guys both hit the jack he likes my trash yeah literally eat my trash literally shout out chelsea lynn he accepted me with four cats ah i love that yeah so but you guys also did something odd the first night too yeah it got shit got weird literally literally shit um so
on first dates and just dates in general and around new people i have like a fear of shitting like i don't want to like blow up my bathroom and then you walk in i don't know why that's like my thing now listen
the most turned off I've ever been was a guy took a dump before he climbed his shit crumb ass into bed to have sex. And that's all I could think about. Literally. I was just like, there's the point, you know what I mean? But I was so afraid. And I was like, I had studio apartment too. It wasn't like I had this big place where I can go like be alone. Like he's going to hear it. You didn't have a number two bathroom. No, he's going to hear it, you know? So I was like, or he pitched the idea, like, let's just take laxatives. And I was like,
not drugs laxatives ladies and gentlemen because i wanted to be comfortable and i guess the idea was that like if we're both just shitting so much and like interchanging in the bathroom then we're just automatically comfortable with each other were you guys still banging during this yeah i think so yeah yeah you guys are just little dirt balls i love it yeah i love it it's bad me and my husband are dirt bags too the laxatives didn't hit until like 5 a.m i
oh it was so bad the next day yeah we took so you guys literally just stayed together 24 hours yeah it was great but yeah we're just i ran to the bathroom yeah he ran to the bathroom and he woke me up because like he was going going to go to the bathroom and like as soon as like he woke me up i was like oh my god i'm about to shit my pants like i'm about to shit what if one of you guys had to like shit in the bathtub while the other one was literally that was the fear it almost got to that
No, I have a drain. I used to have a drain out on my balcony. That was like the second idea. I was like, I'm just going to shit in the drain and then like dump some water down it. Oh, God. I don't know. But yeah, we were like interchanging in the bathroom for hours and it was just like booty freckles all over the toilet seat. Dude. It smelled like rancid ass. I love that. That's what I call him. I call him Pepper Butt because he has like little turds stuck on his butthole all the time. Yeah.
How rude. So, I mean, that's love. You guys literally had to fall in love at first laxative. And it was just like so nice because like after that whole interaction, we were so comfortable pooping. You know what I mean? Like, how can you not be? Yeah. I mean, literally, you guys fucking opened up that door wide open. Yeah. I love that though. So, take me on this journey. You guys decide to stay together. What happens after the first night? Um...
I think I took you home. And then like a few days later, we hung out again. So basically, like we hung out the first day. After that, after a lot of pooping, I was tired. I was like,
I mean, you rammed her 15 times and shit your brains out. That's like, you probably dehydrated. The bad thing is though, like as soon as he dropped me off that morning or like that afternoon, I had a sift to go work with my brother. Oh no. Yeah. And I was just like in the dis, cause like I just got out the army and everything like that. I was waiting for all my transfer paperwork. So like just to help my brother out. Cause he was going through a really rough time. So I was like, all right, whatever. I'll go wash dishes if I have to help you out, man, whatever. So I'm doing that. And I'm like half asleep. Just,
after hanging out with her and actually i'm like all right you know what fuck it dude fuck it then yeah yeah um and then after a few more times hanging out he literally moved in i love that yeah i was like come on yeah so yeah and then he moved in oh she's like come on
Yeah, it was like after the second date. She was like, oh, hey, I really like you, da-da-da-da-da. But, you know, are you cool? Because, you know, with her prior history, my prior history with dating, we both are like kind of sketchy with dating. Yeah. So she was like, you mind taking it, like if we take it a little slow, like going on a couple of dates first. Not even the second date, we get coffee and then she turns and is like, I can't wait. I'm sorry. Do you want to be my boyfriend? Yeah. And then we moved in shortly after that.
I think those are the best relationships. My husband and I got married a month after meeting each other. If you know, you know, you know what I mean? Exactly. Yeah. Follow it. Yeah.
yeah especially for people like us who are anxiety ridden and you know dare i say mentally ill because we all have a little bit of it um you know who your person is and who you feel safe with exactly that's a feeling that you never want to let go exactly i remember telling you that like on our first date i was like i've never felt like so safe and comfortable like on our first date usually i'm like anxious and like shaky and i can't think straight but like i was just comfortable it's like i already knew you for like years
It was really sad to hear, like, a lot of her background story. You know, like, I remember... You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Okay, cool. But, like, one time, I think we were in bed watching The Price is Right out of all things. Yeah.
Bob Barker. Yeah. I love him. I always wanted to go on that show. Yeah, we were watching that and then eating, like, what, Guy Fieri or something? Yeah. It was so weird. But, like, I went, like, you know, to do, like, the arm over so she can, like, you know, lay on me or whatever and she flinched a little bit. And that shit broke my heart, you know? Like, that shit broke my heart because, like, she was saying, I grew up watching that always. So when I, like, when she did that, I was like, no, no, no. Dropped, like, literally dropped everything, paused the TV and, like, comforted her immediately. Yeah. Because that's just the type of person I am.
Well, now I am. Yeah. Because I'm not going to lie. We all have problems. Yeah, for sure. But I'm a better person now. Yeah. So you were in, you grew up in an abusive home also? Oh. Yeah. His is worse than mine. I'm lightweight champion over here. Yeah. I come from a Puerto Rican background. So like. Oh, they're wild. Yeah. So like. Spicy. Yeah. So one, it's like for men in Puerto Rican cultures, it's like, or just Hispanic cultures and all. You guys know what I'm talking about.
It's like you're not allowed to really speak your emotion, you know? And then my Puerto Rican mother on top of that, it's her way or the highway. You know, I remember being not even five years old, seeing her put hands on my brother. And I'm not talking about like, hey, bend over, let me spank you. I'm talking about hands on my brother. You know, she put me through a wall, put him through a door.
That's what your scar is from. Oh, yeah. I got a hammer mark right here. Yeah, it's like the two little things of a hammer. Yeah, the teeth part of the hammer. Golly. I got this scar on my... Is it this cheek or this cheek? This one? Yeah. Yeah, I got the scar on this cheek from my mom, you know? But, you know, it's weird. Because, like...
Even though I know I'm affected, I try not to think that way. Yeah, no, I understand. Because I know a lot of people in my personal life. I know a lot of dudes that were girls and everything like that. Oh, my dad yelled at me. And they just hold it in. They victimize themselves. Yeah, and they just become this negative, dark person. Me, I took all that. And I was just like, you want to what? With my mom, it did take a long time. I'm not going to lie. She's the only reason I talked to my mother.
You know? But, like, with my father, for example, RIP, whatever you want to say, with him, it was, like, really weird because, like, I never blamed him, but he would always, like, text me or whatever, like, hey, I'm sorry for leaving, da-da-da-da-da. And I'm like, dude, for me personally, I just, I don't know if it was just, like, a weird button in my head, but it just clicked one day where it was just, like,
no dude you're a sick person yeah you know because like energy doesn't lie yeah because like i have three brothers you know and we all have like my oldest brother we have the same dad different mom my middle brother we have the same mom different dad so one it already sucked for me when my parents were getting broken up because it's like mental tug war game right time but like me my older brother that's the one i moved away in florida we had a wild conversation at the bar out of all places but hey that's where the best conversations happen yeah and i remember we were like
Sit faced. And he asked me. He's like. Hey. What do you actually think about pops? You know. And. Hey. I'm going to tell you. Honestly. Like I told him. I was looking dead in the face. And I was like. I'm sorry to say it. But fuck our father. Because when things got tough for you. What did he do? Pick up and leave. When stuff got tough for me. What did he do? Pick up and leave. Like. Yeah. You can. You know. Be apologizing all you want. But.
the fact that he never accepted responsibility is what bothered me the most. Right. But then, you know, after like drugs, alcohol, and like that being intensified, because like I was doing all that probably like at 12, 14. Drugs and alcohol? Yeah. Wow. It was bad. Like I started drinking probably like at 12. You grew up in Florida? No, I grew up actually in Buffalo, New York. Okay. My father's from Kew Gardens. Okay.
Queens. But yeah, I grew up in Buffalo, New York. So it was like really wild. Yeah. And I don't know how it started. It all started probably with my uncle being like, hey, here you go, kid. Wow. And it just went downhill from there. But like I was telling her, it wasn't like I wake up and I need to drink at that time in my life. It was more like I wake up and like all the depressing and all the suffering that I was going through. It was just like the alcohol would help numb it. Right. It was dopamine. Yeah. Serotonin. It was super weird. But I think that our stories like...
connecting on the first date like really brought us together too well you guys are healing each other's childhood trauma together we're healing each other's childhood trauma relationship trauma that's just everything that's the biggest flex I always tell everybody the biggest flex of a real couple is it's not how much money you make not how many goals you achieve it's how much you guys can grow together yeah
that's the real flex because so many relationships these days are so toxic and people thrive in that and it's like why do you want to live like that break these generational curses and actually like make each other better humans exactly you know so for you guys to be able to do that all from a laxative tinder date yeah i love you guys yeah definitely healing my inner child like i think
This past Christmas is like the first Christmas that, you know, we spent together and she bought me a gift and that was the first time anyone got me a gift. I'm not even gonna lie. 26 years old and I'm busted crying like a child. And I was just like, no one's ever been this nice to me in my whole life. So thank you. Thank you for that. So yeah. You guys can feel your chemistry. Yeah.
through the screen. Like you guys look like you have so much fun and just really enjoy each other. And I love that you love her for her and you just let her be herself because I've been watching her for a long time, you know? So I got to see before you came in and then, um, after you came in and just seeing the smiles that you guys both put on people's, on each other's faces is just amazing.
in itself. Thanks. So, you know, it's really cool. It was super weird because she was like, when we first met, she was telling me like, like she doesn't tell people she does like TikTok. I didn't even know because I like me, I'm like a hermit. Yeah, I don't go on the internet. None of that. Yeah, especially in LA. You can't because everybody's a fucking clout chaser. I'm from the West Coast, so I know. No, that's what she was telling me. Like one of her biggest concerns were when we were like actually going through the process of like the first stages of dating. Yeah. She was really scared. Like, oh, is he just a clout chaser?
I'm like girl I'm not gonna lie to you I don't like no disrespect I don't know who yeah but not in a bad way that's great though but it's like I'm not on the internet you know and then like the reason I started TikTok was because she told me to do it yeah well yeah you can do this together you're creative like let's let's kill it together yeah um but yeah I've so many experiences where people have just used me as a sugar mama essentially and I didn't know because I was blind and fucking stupid yeah I'm out here spending money on people like
fuck those hoes trying to be nice but yeah i mean you're a giver that's how i am i love whenever i first get with so i mean i still take care of my husband to this day but when that's like our love language is like let me just pour myself into you i'll give you every fucking bit it's just so fucked whenever you do that and then you realize that people don't have the same heart as you yeah yeah they're just doing this because they know i will yeah they're taking advantage of that is the worst
So you guys picked up from Orlando. Sorry, I'm smacking him because he's over here. Do you guys see me shaking him? I'm like, shut up. So you guys, what made you move from Orlando to LA? Was it your friends? I mean, not only friends, but...
I had had this idea before I met him and that's when I told him, as soon as we met, "Hey, I'm leaving to LA. You can come, you can stay. That's your choice." And he decided to come with me. So we started looking for apartments and all of that. But I really just wanted to get out to LA because I was... First off, there's just all my family and I feel like I have so many connections in Florida. I just wanted a fresh page. So that's the main reason I went out to LA. Plus also the opportunity out there, which doesn't really exist yet.
Yeah. But yeah. LA is not like it used to be. Yeah. LA used to have a sparkle to it and it just doesn't anymore. I've been going to LA my entire life. The energy there. Are you kidding me? I never had to be medicated and now I'm getting medicated. I swear to God. I told my husband last time we were there on tour. Haley, you remember this? When we were out there, I was like,
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there's something so dark about it somber and it's almost like sodom and gomorrah in the bible i don't know if you guys even read the bible and stuff like that but it literally is just like
LA used to have this sparkle and like you would go there and like sunset would be glittery and Hollywood and like it would just it was a different vibe and now when you go there it's just sad yeah it really is yeah like we've never like struggled or not I can't say we but I've never struggled this bad with like depression like I can't get out of bed I'm not excited to for my day to start yeah type of thing like in Florida I would wake up and I'd be like I'm ready to go like let's film videos let's get creative let's go out for brunch whatever here I'm like oh
uh dragging her out of bed sometimes yeah do you suffer with mental oh man we're both medicated oh man gotcha my story is just uh it's bad you know from physical mental uh emotional verbal abuse of parents all the way to like um abusive exes and all that like one i like i was at that moment where i was like i don't want to argue so no disrespect to you i'm just gonna like
put my headphones because I'm not really trying to argue, you know? - Yeah. - The same voice I'm telling you right now. - Yeah. - And this lady, you know, the tall Red Bull cams, full, just cracked open. Like I just turned like this, she just spiked it. And that's how, like in this ear, I have permanent, like, not permanent, but like every so often, like the ringing. Or what is that, tinnitus? - Yeah, tinnitus. - Yeah, like just random, all that. - Sounds like you dated women like your mom.
Yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah. But, um, next thing you know, it's just like really weird. Cause after that, uh, I moved to Germany through the army, but then Germany was just a sit. So, um, that's when my addiction got really bad. Um, and I ended up in a German mental institution in the long stool, Germany. God, what is that like? Uh, so it was weird. Um,
Because it was all during COVID, right? So when they first put me in inpatient or whatever you want to call it. What did you go in for? Was it drugs or just you were kind of losing your mind? So it was weird. It was really, really weird. I'm not going to sit here and say I wasn't addicted to drugs at the time because I was. What was your drug of choice? So it was a lot. It was either a coke, ketamine, or dextromorphine, which is like, how do you call it? It's the...
it's a high blood pressure medicine. - Right. - But if you take a certain amount, it makes you hallucinate. Please don't do that. - Good Lord. - I did a little disclaimer, like please don't do it. - Yeah. - But yeah, and it would be times like, for example, I don't remember September till January of 2020 or like 2020, yeah, 2020 going into 2021. I don't even remember that. The only thing I remember one day was texting my little group chat of workers I was with. And I was just like, hey guys,
I think I'm ready to get help, you know? And all my friends, and I remember it. Oh, I'm trying not to get sad about it. But like, I still remember today, like literally, cause like I was a sergeant at the time in the army, whatever, whatever. So like a lot of times. That's amazing. That's not whatever. The army is overrated. I mean, but still. Thank you. Thank you for serving our country. Thank you for the support. Thanks for serving.
But what's it called? And I remember, 'cause like all these younger guys, they kind of look up to you when you're in those like leadership positions or whatever. So it's like a lot of the guys that are in those positions, you know, you gotta hold into emotion. And on one day, like I said, I just texted the group chat, not even like an individual, I texted a whole group chat. Hey guys, I think I'm ready to get help. And not even five, 10 minutes later,
every single individuals, I mean, individual that was in that group chat, sewed up at my house, you know? And I remember the last thing I remember of that day before it was like blackening out, you know, the last thing I remember was I was standing outside in my back porch and snowing and everything. Everyone's like bundled up in Germany too, you know? And I'm out here in, you know, my jorts and a tank top like this smoking a cigarette. And I just see like a family walking by and I'm just like, you see that guys? I just want to be like that one.
like that one day. I just want to be happy. I'm just tired of, you know, not knowing what the fuck's going on. Right. You know, and next thing you know, I blink, come back. I'm in a German institution instead of the American one because it was, you know, COVID and everything. So they had to wait till the American side got desanitized.
The German side is scary. Oh, I could imagine. It sounds like a nightmare. Yeah. Nothing in German sounds sexy at all. It is terrifying. They talk aggressive. Like they're very aggressive humans. It was super scary because the lady. No offense to anybody who's German. I'm just saying. Yeah, it was super weird because like when I first get there, you know, the nurse is like talking to me in German and I'm like, huh?
And she's like saying it with a smile on her face with a big needle in her hand. I'm like, no, ma'am. What are you doing? You know? And then she ended up taking, I call it the American horror story episode. Yes, literally. But I call it the kinky room. I know that's not appropriate or whatever. Sorry. Um, but I call it the kinky room because it's like little hard table that they strap you down. Like the lady, I was just asking, I was like, what is,
Yeah, like, let me know what's going on. Yeah, because I'm, like, I don't speak German. All I know is, like, hey, can I come, like, can I get this? Yes? No. That's the only German I knew at the time, you know? So, just, and next thing you know, they put me there, and then I'm sedated. I don't know. And then I wake up in an American one, and they're like, how are you? And I'm like. You're like, dear God, is this a fucking hallucination? Yeah, no, it was scary, because like I said, you know, matter of fact, it was February, I think it was February 24th. Yeah, it was February 24th.
or whatever the day is before yeah valentine's day whatever day that is 13th yeah oh is it really no is it february 14th valentine's day yes okay then yes the day before i don't know where i'm coming with the 23rd no that was the last day i od sorry um sorry i have dark humor right now you're good um but yeah no um like literally blink german institution no phone no nothing blink an american institution no phone no nothing blink i'm back home it's marks
Wow. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Wow. Yeah. And at that point, I was just like, dog, I am done. Yeah. I have to stop or I'm going to die. Yeah. But it didn't take me till my father who passed away from cancer or whatever. I know. Still. Honestly, he deserved it.
I'm joking. I'm joking. But no, like it was really weird because like my cousin, he passed away from alcohol like that because his son got, I think it was weird. His son passed away. So he got into drinking and all that. And next thing you know, my father right before, you know, that last, I don't know what it is with people who are getting ready to pass over. They just know, you know, and out of nowhere, even though like the overseas call, it costs like so much. My dad called me, called
me not on Facebook nothing like actually called me off his number he's like hey kid I love you I will always love you just please promise me one thing and I was like what and he's like I need you to stop drinking you know and then two days later that's my brother's calling me and they were like hey pops is gone go wow yeah and then I never like that was his gift to you though
- And his death. I had a similar situation with my mom who died last year. - We actually got sober together. We quit drinking together. - Yay. - We're keeping each other sober, so. - Well at first it was her going-- - I'm so proud of you guys. - Yeah, at first it was her going completely sober in September.
but me it was more of a cutback but then like january of this year is when i actually like fully cut it off right it's hard alcohol is hard alcohol was last for me too like i could cut the pills out in 20 and blow in 2017 it took a whole year of and i think somebody drugged me and that's the only reason why i got sober off alcohol because i was so fucked up that this one night it was crazy and it just took that one time when i was just like you know what i don't need this either
It's not worth it. Yeah. So you guys have been sober. Yeah. I love that. It is very hard being sober because you have to get to know yourself and you have to feel things and, um,
That's never fun. Yeah. True. I don't know. I don't feel like I ever used alcohol to like numb, numb things. I was just having fun. I was being a girly pop. I don't know. Going out drinking. Yeah. I was a social butterfly too. Social butterfly drinker. But I found out that I was just kind of numbing in a way. Um, but making it fun, you know, but that was, that's my journey. Not yours. Yeah. Um, so being in LA and being so depressed, do you guys want to leave LA? Um,
I don't know. I'm so like 50-50. Like we've been going back and forth about it. I feel like because we're in downtown LA, like that's more depressing than other parts. All that energy is around you. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, should we just like cut this lease early?
Go to somewhere else. Try it for six months. Get a short little lease and like test out the energy somewhere else. See if it's better. Go by the ocean. Yeah. Or like by the ocean or something. I don't know. Test out the energy elsewhere. Yeah. And if it's still not good, guess what? I can leave. Go back to Florida. I can go wherever I want to. Yeah. You know, I'm not held down. I don't have roots. Downtown LA is depressing. Every time I go there, I always get a house somewhere else. Like in Malibu or like outside of LA.
outside of downtown because I just can't handle it. Especially if you're an empath, you are just soaking in everybody's energy. And I've learned a lot with energies too. And I know this does not apply to everybody who's going through depression or anything like that. But
you can be picking up on other people's feelings and that can be affecting your mental health too. You know, and I'm not saying that happens to everybody, but like, you know, thoughts that come in your mind can be other people's. And it's just because you're in that circle, that, you know, circumference of how many people are in fucking downtown LA. So it's just, it's, I don't know. It's so like messed up down there. Cause my brain, I feel like it doesn't get a break.
like our building is not like insulated at all so every car horn every car driving by every person outside i can hear it and i can't like i need quiet yeah to think and i haven't been able to think since moving to la we went like on a little vacation out to the desert and it was peaceful and silent and we didn't hear a thing and for the first time since moving to la i was able to think clearly yeah like i didn't have a brain fog wow
And I was like, I didn't realize it though until I got out there to the silence. Like, whoa, I can think. Yeah. I even feel better mentally. Yeah. Like it's wild. So like since doing that, like it's really opened my mind. Like, okay, we need to get out of downtown. Something's wrong here. And if we go elsewhere, if we don't like it, I'm leaving. Yeah. I like that. It's like mental health is...
like the most important thing. Oh, for sure. You can't put a price on peace ever. Like, you know, if LA is not good for my, my mental health, fuck LA. I'll go somewhere else. Yeah. You know, Vegas is right outside of LA. It's three hours away. We were looking in like, uh, the desert out there. We were like, what if I get a little house in the desert? We have a house in Vegas. Um,
and literally i will fly there to get out of here just to have a mental break and going there i don't blame you it's clarity like and it's the energy in vegas is awesome it's changed a lot over the years but it's still you still have the west coast yeah but not all of the darkness that comes with la like vegas is still dark it's sin city and everybody gambles there and there's hookers and blow and all that but it's more of like a fun dark if i can compare the two whereas
it's like heavy in la like suffocating dark i'm like yeah no for sure it's like a lot of weird shit going on out there i don't know my my experience is weird i'm like i grew up in cities and everything like that so i don't mind the noise and everything like that oh well i mean you're from fucking new york bro and like you know you feel at home in downtown la like even when i was in the army you know like first place i got stationed was korea oh wow you know big big city over there like multiple big cities over
They were in Germany. I was like 30 minutes away from Munich. So it was just like party every day, you know? And, you know, when we got to LA, I didn't realize how much it affected her. You know, like, cause like me, like I said, I'm used to it. You know, maybe it's the mental illness, the thing, the noises in my head, whatever. I don't know. I'm used to it, you know? But when she told me that, like she would, she broke down one day and told me like, yo, I cannot take this place anymore.
And I told her, listen, man, I don't care if we go to Echo Park in California or we go to New York or we go to Canada, Timbuktu. You can tell me we're going back to your dad's house. Whatever you need me to do, I will be there and do it for you. Simple as that. That's a good man. I know. He'll just follow me anywhere. Ah, that's what you listen. I've been following my husband around for fucking seven years. If that's your person, you follow him around, right? Literally. Little dog.
So what are you, what do you guys want to accomplish in the next year and the 2023 and 2024? You know, when people ask me that question, I'm like, listen, I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't know. I love the honesty though. Like, I don't know. I've never had a plan in my life. I just, I don't know. I have, this is going to sound crazy too, but like I have the weird, the weirdest trust in the universe and like, it'll send me an opportunity. I'll take it. That's her. That's manifesting. Opportunity is going to come my way. I'll take it.
and i'll run with it yeah you know and if like i don't know if i feel something in my heart that i want to do it i'll do it yeah i thought about writing a book i'm like sure i'll try it if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out i'll try something else yeah that's my mindset i love that i don't have goals yeah well i mean you're accomplishing them every day running with the wind literally just trusting the universe has gotten you this far so literally how many followers do you have on tick tock 5.7 million
Go, baby, go. I love seeing you win. What about you, Lou? I don't know if I follow you yet. It's weird. I don't know. I don't know if it's a good number or a bad number, but when did I start? You started...
yeah i started in august of last year and i'm already at like 100k good so but she tells me it's great but i'm like i don't know what's good or not as long as you're going up and you're still trying and you're putting your all into it that's all you can do and yeah i feel like it's harder for men to get followers too than it is for women because you know how our world is set up it's just like you know girls want to follow girls guys want to follow girls you know and men have to have like a
niche in order to get that online following. Which is really great because all I do is dark comedy and cannabis. I love it. Everyone loves it so I'm not complaining. I love it. I'm proud of you for trying hard and doing...
what you want to do and putting your full effort in and we're going to make it one way or another. So I think you guys are a great team. Thank you. And I love seeing you guys happy. I love seeing you happy. Thanks. I love being happy too. Thanks. I love seeing you happy. Well, it's that, that fucking 15 times a night dong. I mean, who wouldn't fucking be happy? Crazy. I mean, I'd be happy with 15 times a night too. Um, why don't you guys shout out your, your social media platform so everybody can find you. Yeah. So I'm Morgan Presley XO on everything.
On Instagram, at Beautiful Lou. And on TikTok, LouDaboo, but not your boo. Her boo. Just at LouDaboo.
I love that. Well, thank you guys for coming on the podcast. Thank you for having us. I can't wait to check in with you guys in like a year or two and see where you guys are at. I will. I will. I'll get your people, my friends to get with your friends so we can be friends. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Get your people to contact my people. There we go. All for it. I love you guys. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Don't Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.
