Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
This season, Instacart has your back to school. As in, they've got your back to school lunch favorites, like snack packs and fresh fruit. And they've got your back to school supplies, like backpacks, binders, and pencils. And they've got your back when your kid casually tells you they have a huge school project due tomorrow.
Okay, it's time to commit.
2024 is the year for prioritizing yourself. Begin your new smile journey with Bite, and you could start seeing results in just two to three weeks. Just order your at-home impression kit today for only $14.95 at Bite.com. Bite clear aligners are doctor-directed and delivered to your door. Treatment costs thousands less than braces.
Plus, they offer financing options, accept eligible insurance, and you can pay with your HSA FSA. Get 80% off your impression kit when you use code WONDERY at Byte.com. That's B-Y-T-E dot com. Start your confidence journey today with Byte.
what's up guys don't forget to sub to patreon so that you can see the visuals because not only do we have episodes of the podcast we have exclusive content that nobody else sees on any other apps behind the scenes photo shoots and we're dropping a whole bunch of surprising stuff this year so if you guys don't want to miss out and you want to be the first to know go over to our patreon www.dumbblondunrated.com love ya
Is this thing on? Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast, Dunblown. Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child. And here we are. Yeah.
What's up you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today I have one of my favorite guests back on the podcast and I'm so happy that he has blessed us with his presence again. Mr. Josh Wolf is in the house. What's up? What's up baby? Can I tell you first of all how excited I was to come back here. Our last conversation was
I felt, you know, there was a point in time where I forgot I was sitting in front of a microphone and there were lights. Like it was a legit straight up talk.
There aren't very many of those where you forget that you're performing, like not performing, but you're on air. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so it was fantastic. But new, beautiful studio. I, I stroked your furry wall. Yeah. Let's say so. Thank you for the compliments, by the way, because I really try to create a safe space for everybody to just come and hang and, you know, talk their, talk their shit. But, uh, well, it's because you're so, uh,
brutally honest and authentic that you... Do you want to make out, Josh? Can we just lock that? Yeah, lock the door over there. Turn the lights down low, baby. Let's go. You know, but that's... You have no other... You have to...
be that with you because I feel like if someone came in wearing a mask, you would be like, what are you? I'll break it down. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing? This is not what this is for. I appreciate that. Absolutely. But back to the furry wall. So Josh walks in and the first thing he does is go, he goes, Oh, I love this furry wall. And he started stroking it. And I'm like, okay, dude's high. And he's like, I did mushrooms last night. Take me on this journey. Well, you know, I like,
a drug or two. Yes. And I'm not somebody that dabbles in it. Like I'm not, I don't like, I've never been a guy who's like, let's have a drink. Right. I don't know what the point of that is. We getting fucked up. I'm like fucked up with you. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. That's yeah, exactly. And so he actually told me once, Jelly told me once, he was like, you're the only dude where I've questioned, do I really want to do mushrooms with this guy?
Oh. Because I like to just take them. Yeah. All of them. Who goes home with drugs? No, and that's how my husband is too, but sometimes he has a limit. When it comes to hallucinogenics, he definitely has a limit. Last night, I ate mushrooms on stage. You're a fucking savage. I fucking did. How do you... How? There's so many people around, don't you... Doesn't it like...
yeah but i love the tightrope feeling right okay i've done it for a long time so you know sometimes i'm like let's see what happens right do you know what's the worst thing that could happen i make an asshole of myself yeah that's happened every day of my life right do you know what i mean so what so but you know what mushrooms recently have done for me like i will take them
And sometimes I take them in and I like to actually be by myself, which I think is crazy because they normally say when you trip and I don't know a lot about mushrooms. I know I dabbled in them and we'll talk about that too. Um, but when you take mushrooms, don't they say that you need like a trip buddy? I mean, sure. He's like, I guess, but sometimes I take them just to, I don't know, have conversations with myself. Yeah. Okay. I, I took, there were two trips. Yo,
that changed so many things with me. One, I took them. So I'll take them. I'll go to my hotel room. I'll turn off all the lights and I get under the covers and I try to solve problems with myself. And one, I was on a little trip under my covers and I feel like I was under there for like 30, 35 minutes. And then I got out from under the covers and I said out loud, I forgive you. I was talking to people who I felt like
When I was younger, I used to hold on to this person did me wrong or this. But they're not thinking about you. Yeah. The only person you're weighing down is yourself with that shit, right? Yeah. And I said out loud, I forgive you and I hope you all forgive me. So forever, whoever thought that I wronged them, I just wanted a clean slate and know that I forgive you. And I woke up the next morning feeling lighter. I was like, but there's...
Something off my plate here. Yeah. Right. And so I kept diving back down this other time.
Cause you've been for, okay. Just for a point of perspective, Josh, you came on the podcast, what, like two years ago? Probably. Okay. And if you guys want to recircle back to listen to that podcast, it's just a Josh Wolf podcast. It's amazing, but you can hear more of his story. But in that podcast, you were talking about how you were just starting to dabble in shrooms, right? Yeah. So you've evolved from just dabbling to full on having tent sessions under your blanket. Yeah.
That's the name of my next album. The Josh Wolf, the tent session. Blankets. Yo. Okay. The net. Okay. The next thing that happened. Yeah. So I was a dude at one point in my life who could get the ball up to the 10 yard line. I was really good at it, but there was something in me that didn't feel like I was good enough or deserved to take it to the goal line. Yeah. And one tent session. Yeah.
You're forever going to call it a 10 session. Like you're doing peyote in the forest. One of the 10 sessions, I started arguing with that part of me. Nice. And I ended up leaving the 10 session saying, I don't fucking need you anymore. Is it like an ego death almost? Yeah, whatever it is, whatever it was,
fear of success, fear of failure, whatever it was, fear of putting my best foot forward because then people were actually going to judge me. Whatever that was, I said out loud, I don't need, I don't need you anymore. However I picked that up, wherever I picked that up, I don't want to see you ever again, whatever. And I was speaking to it like it was an entity. And I, the next day,
Different person. I've changed so much in the last two years. Yeah. Like you seem a lot happier. I'm so happy and peaceful. I feel like a peacefulness on you. It's so crazy. I'm going to tell you the craziest thing that has happened to me. Okay. Okay. I don't know how I was in Austin, Texas. I got off the plane and I just started to feel angry. I'm not an angry dude.
In my rental car, punching the roof of my car angry. Oh my gosh. I get to the hotel room. No drugs. And I'm in bed and I'm just, so I say out loud at one point, hey, because I've heard about this stuff. And you know, I'd had somebody tell me, you meet a lot of people, you probably pick up energies. Do you believe that stuff? Oh, absolutely. So I was like, I just said out loud, hey, if there's something in me, on me,
please leave. Yeah. And it was almost felt like I felt something. Okay. Grip onto me. So then I was like, I said it out loud again because I'm not this dude. I was like, Hey, kind of joking. You can leave me now. Right. I ended up, Oh, this was the craziest thing. I was pushing down my arm and flicking. I felt like, so there was something in, like I was physically, um,
wrestling with something that was in me and I was trying to flick it out of my, at one point I had ordered pizza before all this stuff happened. And I'm in my room pizza order. I'm screaming, get the fuck. I'm arguing with this thing. And you're not tripping, not sober. Okay. And in, in like at one point, like I made this noise. I'm not, I don't make noises like a growly, deep,
And I was like, oh, fuck. And I'm screaming. And I hear this pounding. I'm like, get out of here. And then I just heard pizza. And I was like, sorry. BRB spirit. I was like, leave it by the front door. I'm arguing with a demon. You know what I mean? But I'm flicking, flicking, flicking. Get out. Flick. I'm sweating. Oh, my goodness. And I just fell back in my bed. Pool of sweat. I felt a little lighter.
But it still felt dark in the room. And then about 45 minutes, I shot up like it had jumped back into me. This is the two years of just clarity and almost like cleansing myself. And I was like arguing with this fucking thing again, pushing it out of my body, flicking my fingers, flicking my fingers. And then it felt like somebody turned on the lights in the room and like it was still. Wow. And I felt peace. Wow. And all these things.
I don't know whether it's whatever was inside of me that, that I didn't feel good about myself, but I have pushed all of it out of my body because it doesn't, it doesn't serve me. Right. And when I look at what I have, I've stopped looking at what I don't have. Right. Which is what I think a lot of us do. You get mired in what you don't have. Yes. And you know what I have? I have a fucking beautiful wife. I have a, she has a baddie. You guys. Yeah.
and just a sweet human the kindest person yeah I have three great kids I have two parents who are still alive and married I have three great brothers I have a great family I get to do what I've always dreamed of doing yeah and so like it's been perspective over these two years where I'm like I'm never thinking about what I don't have ever again because I have so much and yeah dude it's
And when I saw you two years ago, I was literally, I was sicker than I've ever been in my life. Yeah. Let's talk about that. So I remember when you had came on the podcast, um, even Mimi and I had said, I was like, man, he just doesn't look like he feels good. And then I went home and I told Jay, I was like, Hey, is Josh okay? You know? And he's like, yeah, I think so. 145 pounds is what I weigh. Yeah. You were tiny. I remember the color of your skin though. I even told Jay, I was like, I was like, he's kind of like gray. Yeah. I was like, is he okay? And he's like, I think he's doing a new...
diet or something you know how guys are always like trying to make excuses he's on a diet bitch don't ask questions can i tell you it's such a great thing women are in for details yeah like my oldest son proposed to his girl right and he told me yeah and so beth goes how did he do it i go i don't know she goes what does the ring look like i'm like i
And she said, these are details. I'm like, what? I just needed the headline. Yeah. And Jay's the same way. He was like, I don't, I didn't ask. Yeah. I had this really severe mercury poisoning. Oh my gosh. I had, it was COVID, right? So I cracked a tooth and I'm an old dude. So we have silver fillings. Right. And I swallowed the filling. Oh my God. New fear unlogged.
So like when I did some research, I was like, well, it's COVID. I'm not going to like, nobody's taking appointments and I'll be fine. But it turns out the mercury, it fucked me up. Wow. So you had a filling, you swallowed it. Cracked the tooth, swallowed half of it. So not only was I eating half of it, but the other half was just constantly draining into my, and it, it just fucked me up.
And I couldn't, you find out that it was the mercury. I, I, first of all, I was like, that's all my dentist. I'm like, I should probably come in. He was like, what's going on? And I told him, he was like, dude, you need to be here tomorrow. Oh, wow. You need to be here tomorrow. We need to get out of your mouth tomorrow. And so he said, you need to go get your mercury levels tested too. And I went, the doctor was like, yeah, do you just suck on tuna fish all day? Like what, like what, what are you doing? Yeah.
Yeah. And so like, he was like, yeah, you need to get this out of your body. But I, I feel better. And like, no, your coloring is awesome. I look at pictures from that time. And I'm like, Oh, this dude, when people were, were like, why does Wolf,
look like he's got a foot in the grave i was like what are you talking about and i was now i look back i'm like yikesy golly though thank you know thankfully that you fucking found out that it was that because most people go for testing all the time and they can't figure out what's wrong with them so the fact that they pinpointed that it was mercury immediately amazing yeah i'm and like i'm glad that i don't look like like a tom hanksy philadelphia oh
But it wasn't great. No, you definitely didn't look like you were feeling good. But I'm so happy to hear about this awakening and just this health kick that you're doing now. So what has changed in the past two years, though, comedy-wise? You've brought your son in. Everything. Let's talk about it. So it's been my favorite two years of my career. When I let go of all that stuff about what I didn't have and what I do have...
the universe rewards you abundantly. Do you know what I mean? No, I, I've had to change my way of looking because I'm the same way. I'm always working towards the next goal. Right. And I have, I this year have literally had to sit back and kind of reassess a lot of things. And I've learned, I've started meditating and doing all that shit and it's helped so much. But when you appreciate what's already here and you don't want for anything else, the universe just starts fucking throwing shit your way.
Like almost instantly. The word abundance that you use. Was that purposeful? Yes. Yeah, right. Because thinking of abundance as opposed to scarcity, that's what you're inviting in. But when you're constantly worried about like, is money going to come in or it's not going to come in.
No. You're not letting it. You're blocking your blessings by doing that. Absolutely. Tell me a little bit about the meditation. Do you meditate on things? Do you go in with a purpose? No.
You just sit and. So I know you're supposed to like set an intention and have a reason for meditating. I'm new to it. I've literally been doing it probably. This is going into my second month. I suffer from severe, severe anxiety and I have, you know, depression and stuff like that. So I, my, I guess my intent every time I sit down is to be able to get through the day without fucking having panic attacks. So I, when I sit down, I visualize I'm a visualizer.
I visualize breathing in and I visualize blowing out color. And when I blow out, it's like if I'm having anxiety, I blow out red glitter. And then I keep I keep meditating and breathing until the glitter goes like white, you know. And so I can. But it really works. And like I've been trying to tell you, I tell everybody, I'm like, you guys got to fucking meditate, bitches. You know, literally, I'm trying to preempt.
Yeah.
I'm just like, I'm on a meditator. Yeah. I guess when you're as amped up as I am, I'm literally fight or flight all day long. It's like, I need that break to fucking be able to come down and feel not low, but relaxed, I guess you could say. So yeah, no, I love meditating. My meditation, I think like I take a morning walk with my dog every morning. I think that feels more like. That's grounding. You're going outside in nature and just grounding, feeling the air. Can I tell you how much I love Vegas?
Vegas is so cool, right? I... Yeah, okay, so you moved. We moved. You were living in Nashville last time you were here? We were living in Nashville. And then you moved to Vegas right after. Yeah, you know what nobody tells you when you move to Nashville is how shitty the weather is. It is so fucking depressing. What the fuck? It's not in the brochure. No. It's like, come to Nashville. Everybody is so nice. I never had depression until I moved to Nashville. There's no sunshine. No.
No sunshine. Fucking allergies up the wazoo. Like, it's really bad. Beautiful state. Beautiful. They complain about people moving here. Just put the weather forecast. Nobody's going to fucking come. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, by the way, on the same day, it's going to snow, hail. Sleet. Sleet. Yeah. And then a tornado is coming through. And then it will be sunny by five. You're like, what? And then you get 45 minutes of sunshine. Because. With clouds. With clouds.
I don't know about you. I was expecting when I hear Nashville, I'm like, oh, that's the South. It's Midwest weather. Yeah. No, it's terrible. Straight up. That has a lot to do with my mental health too. That's why I'm always traveling. When I travel, I'm fine. Ask my friends. Like literally, as soon as I get out of here, if I'm in Vegas for two days, I'm like, God, I feel so much better. Beth was the same way. Wow. When she was here, she was like, I'm just blue.
She was like, I'm just down. Yeah. We get to Vegas. She was like, I fucking love it. The sunshine, the desert, all sunshine, you know, the food. Yo, this is how I know I'm getting older. When people are like, how's Vegas? I'm like, the food's great. Yeah. They have really good food there. The bus,
Oh, the best steaks. I will tell you one thing about Vegas that I didn't know. Yeah. Is the cricket grasshopper situation. Oh yeah. No, they're, they're fucking, they're out there. That's a plague. That is. Yeah.
It's like, is the world about to end? And locusts. And locusts. Wait till the locusts come out. By the way, what I hate the most about those creatures is how dumb they are. They just fly right into your fucking face. It's a fucking suicide mission every time. Yeah, really. Literally. They're wearing those little Japanese, like, eee. Literally. Did you, were you there the year? Because I heard there was a year where it was like, you looked up in the sky. Yeah, and it was bad. Blanketed. It was just blanketed. Mm-hmm.
And that the, I heard the casino was like, you know, when the doors would open automatically, thousands of these bugs would just fly in. Were you there during that apocalyptic? Yes. Yes. I lived through the apocalypse of Vegas. Um, yeah. So I didn't leave Vegas until 2017 ish. And then that's when I came to Nashville, but we just bought a house in Vegas. Yeah. We bought a house in Vegas last year. So now we have a house out there. Yo, yeah.
That's right near where we... Wow. We got a house. We wanted to see where we wanted to live. And this is when I knew... I'm like, this is the spot. I said, hey, babe, let's rent for a year and decide... We don't know anything about Vegas. So smart, yeah. She found a...
five bedroom never lived in before 3200 square foot house yeah for three thousand dollars a month yeah that's vegas yes this is the spot where we need to be oh yeah same baby josh and his wife are literally live and daddy just walked in yeah
Josh came in stroking the... He's getting buffed. Baby. What's that? Well... Yeah. Well, Josh was talking about his shroom trip. Last night, man. Yeah. So, baby...
last time i don't know josh not to do remember last time josh was here how i said he was looked sick he had fucking mercury poisoning that was what it was man you remember when you were like dude you just like thin legs with a couple abs yeah yeah yeah dude i i was yeah i was sick man but feeling so much better now dude like feeling doesn't he look so much better too i took a bunch of mushrooms last night
You know how that goes. He came in and immediately started stroking the furry wall. He was like, oh, I'm still feeling the rivets. You want to see it? Are you good? Yo, dude. I just didn't want to not see my friend. Yeah. For what it's worth, I've never come up. Yeah, ever. I've been here for three times. Three people ever have been here that I'm like, all right, I got to come see them. Yeah. Can I tell you that record you put up on the wall at Zany's is so dope, dude. Oh, dude. That is so cool. I was just saying that it was the...
Most emotion I had ever seen someone get out of a crowd from singing a song. Like, it was 300 people crying. It was 300 people crying. It was such an emotional, special moment. And because it was the first time you had done it in front of a crowd, I felt like that emotion came straight out of you. Oh, man. I was...
Into them. Yeah, dude, that was spectacular. Yeah. Dude, there were there were I had like seen this song like changing my life, but I had yet to like experience that, you know, because of the pandemic. Josh was saying that literally watching the growth in the past two years since that moment has just been phenomenal.
Dude. People come up to him now and they're like, so that Jelly Roll guy. And he's like, I've been fucking telling you. Yeah. I was like, you weren't listening before. But yeah, man, it's been it's been so inspirational, even at my old age, dude. Right. To see two people being exactly who they are.
And being exactly who they are and I'm sure coming up having everybody be like you can't be this dude and be successful You can't be this woman and be successful and the two of you definitely can't be together and be America's sweethearts and you guys were both like And now he's a country singer Josh yeah do but now he's wearing a fucking rapper But I thought we were hip-hop for life
Can I tell you the biggest change? Yeah. That's my marriage in a nutshell right there. I mean, we have the Beth and I have a lot of the same. Yeah. Can I ask you? Because this is what I found for Beth and I, that a lot of people are like, how do you do it being apart?
How do you do it being together every day? Yeah. Do you know what being apart does? It reminds me how much I like you. Absolutely. And the fact that you guys can be your own people away from each other and then come together and be your own people like that speaks volumes. That's a healthy marriage. I think so, too. Like I look at people who have to be in no judgment, I guess, but who have to be together all the time. I can't do it.
That doesn't seem healthy to me. Like codependent. Isn't it important to you to be your own own person within the relationship? Absolutely. Yes. And for me, what I, one of the things that I love the most about Beth is that she doesn't need me, that she is a confident human being away from me. Absolutely. This is all positive. This is how I knew that we were going to last. Cause I was like, Oh, she didn't.
I don't, when I'm on the road, I don't feel like I need to call her six times a day. Do you know what I mean? Oh no. She's good. There's literally days that I don't talk to Jay until like, especially on tour. If I'm not with him, I won't hear from him till midnight. Yeah. And when he calls me, this is what he says, baby, I love you. I've had, I was just thinking about you. I've had a really long day where I've had to talk to people all day. Love you, baby. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
And literally that's, that's how we are. And like, if I have to, if I'm doing a podcast run and I've talked to like fucking six people in a day, he'll call me and I'll be like, baby, I'm just decompressing. And he'll be like, cool. Call me when you can. And you know, like we give each other that space. You have to be able to have space, but still have that connection. And I think that's like a best friend thing. Did you come into the relationship with that skillset? No, fuck no. I had to learn it. It was, I came from a very abusive relationship. So, um,
I had a lot of baggage I had to unpack where I was, I don't want to say super jealous, but I was just like very controlling. I needed to know everything, every detail, what was going on, you know, and, and,
Jay and I ended up splitting in 2018 because he had an affair for almost like a year behind my back. And that really taught me a lot. Like instead of me blaming my husband, like, oh, it's all your fault. I had to look within and be like, okay, what am I doing wrong that this has happened? And so it was pretty much like an ego death for me too. I had to read and him too. And we have just grown so.
tremendously from it and we're each other's best friends and you know it's it's just cool we have a cool thing can I ask what I'm sure you did your own work but what did he do to help reassure you
to be comfortable and confident in the relationship. For two years, he went through hell with me after the affair where I literally fucking did not trust him. I mean, I would fucking yell, scream. I don't even raise my voice in our house anymore. I think in the past three years I have, I've raised my voice. Never. I don't, I can't even think of one time. Like we don't yell at each other anymore. We talk, you know, he had a lot of toxic traits too that he had came in with. So we literally had to help each other unpack baggage. But yeah,
you know, that two years he went to a lot of therapy and he had a lot of patients and a lot of just like, baby, I'm here for you. I love you. I, you know, what I did was wrong. And, um,
Anytime I had a problem with it if I felt insecure, he would correct it. He wouldn't yell at me He wouldn't get mad at me. It was just a lot of love. He really healed me with a lot of love like he he's like Yes, I know I fucked up but I'm still I'm gonna let you get it out and get over it and I'm gonna reassure you every time you need me to And that's exactly what he did and then one there was one day that I just never even thought about it anymore I find your husband and it's one of the reasons that
Not just why I like him, but why I think a lot of people like him. This is going to sound so basic. He's one of the most human people I've ever met. He is. I always say he's an angel on earth. He's so present. You know, there are some people... He's self-aware. But also when he's speaking to you, he really makes you feel like, yo, there's nobody else in the world. It's me and you right now. Yeah. It's such a comforting...
feeling for someone to be that present when they're speaking to you because most people aren't well he zeroes in he um jay is the type of guy who moves and speaks with intention yeah so if he gives you five minutes of his time it's because he intentionally wants to be there and wants to know what you have to say and even though it might only be five minutes you've got your five minutes you know and
That's what I love about my husband is he's not he doesn't shuck people. It's not a facade Literally what you see is what you get it's and you know, he said something to me It's funny that in this he said to me when he I texted him one day and he showed up at zany's And he was like, hey, don't I don't text anybody. He doesn't and I said to him. I don't sweat that shit Yeah, and he said we're gonna be good friends. I was like because
You know, people have their own life. And I, one thing that also in these last couple of years that I've, you have no control over how anybody reacts to you or how they feel about you, how they receive your joke, how they receive your song, how they receive your podcast. All you can do is what you like. Yeah, exactly. And then how they react is a hundred percent up to them. You know, I have some friends and some people that, you know, I'm not going to mention on the pod, but that,
It bothered me that we weren't what I would consider friends anymore. But then I was just like, yo,
People are in your life in different chapters. Yeah. Literally. We were just talking about that. I said, literally life is a highway and you're driving down it and people are going to hop on and hop off. All like the people who are successful can keep going to the next chapter and not live. Yo, we all know people who, when you see them, they talk about high school. Yeah. They're stuck in that chapter. I call them Al Bundy. Yeah. Yeah.
Literally. Yeah, the Bundys are stuck in that chapter. And so their life doesn't progress. But when you look at it not as a death, it's not a funeral. That was a part of your life. This is now a different part of your life. And so you mourn like that person, right? But like you've done that, that thing that that person did to you, not did to, but you're that person in somebody else's book, right? Yeah. And so like when you start to let go all that stuff,
It's freeing. Oh my God. It's freeing. And I'm learning that too because I love people so much. And when I bring them close to me, if something goes wrong or we have a bad falling out, I personally take that on. And I'm like, how? How did this happen? And I always try to figure it out. And I'm learning. It's a process, but you have to just let go. Did you like... So because you do...
It's such a crazy combination of somebody with a seemingly tough exterior. So is that tough exterior the safety net, like the thing that you used? Because you're also very sensitive. If you're taking other people's stuff on, did you put the – do you think that toughness comes from like, I can't let anyone see what –
I'm taking on or what I'm feeling. Well, I was in an abuse. I had a really abusive childhood. I had a stepmother who if she beat me and I cried, it was what are you crying for? Don't fucking cry. You don't cry in this house. So I had to learn how to mask how I felt even as a child. So when I did leave home at 14 and I was on the streets, I
the only big badass that I had was me. So it was like, I had to protect myself and I couldn't, if you show vulnerability on the street, are you kidding me? Like, especially at 14 people would eat you alive, you know? So I think it's always something that I've taken through life, but I'm also not a pushover either. So it's like, no, you know,
So it's like, you know, it's like, I don't know if it's more of like a mask or if it's, it's a part of me just, you know, I don't let people in so easily, you know? And it's like, you have to work to get to know me, but it's like, once you're in, you're in. And I think that's why I get so hurt when people get close to me and like something happens because I'm like, ah, damn. Yeah. We've been through some shit. Yeah. You know, but enough about me. I have one more question for you. You know what, Josh, are you interviewing me or what's going on? I'm super curious about this. Yeah, go ahead. So,
As having it, uh, being on the street at 14 abusive stepmom, were you nervous about being a mom? Oh, I never wanted kids. I never wanted kids. Was that because of your experience? I'm not sure because ever since I was a little girl, I always remember saying, I want to be a business woman. I want to have a business. I never wanted the white picket fence. I never thought about having a husband. Like I never thought about any of that. It was always just me being,
wanting to fucking be hot and make money and be on my own. And that's literally what I did. I literally have manifested my life. And actually, I'm lying. Whenever I was a kid, I always said I wanted to be Tawny Katane and I wanted to have a rock star husband. Come on, dude. One of the best music videos of all time. Is that the sexiest? You know who else?
Tawny Katane and Bobby Brown from Cherry Pie. Yes. Yes. Bobby Brown was so hot, dude. We saw Warrant in San Antonio. Oh my gosh. It was Warrant, Firehouse, Firehouse.
And I forget the other trickster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So that was a blast from the past. And so at the end of the warrant, warrant closed it out. Yeah. And what was his name? Janie Lane. I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, hey, everybody's saying the song. He goes, let's go watch my girlfriend, Bobby Brown strip at P.T.'s. It was in San Antonio. You've never seen people run out of a.
She was hot. Oh, she was beautiful. My God. A gorgeous fucking blonde bombshell. That cherry pie video. Yeah. I mean, just iconic. Yeah. She was Pamela before Pamela was Pamela. Did you watch that documentary? I did.
And I, you know what? I've always loved Pam. Me too. Pam has always been my bitch, but I feel like that documentary finally got to show people how women in the industry are used and abused. And you know, it's sad because she's one of the most iconic women in the world, but yet she's fucking got paid. What? How much did she get paid for Baywash? I forget. It was like $40,000 or something like just crazy. I was blown away and I had never thought of this by how the sex tape was
Was kind of good for Tommy. But wasn't for her. But drowned her career. Yeah. No, it was just very sad. It was a different time in the world. Yeah. You know, because nowadays it would have catapulted her. You know, whereas back then, now it's, you know, we're learning that it literally just
suffocated her crazy and I'm friends with with Brittany and Tommy's new wife and what a wonderful woman she is and I love Brittany yeah I've talked super funny yeah she's hilarious really creative I think she's perfect for him too but I was as I watched that because I know Brittany and I don't know Pam all I was thinking was if I'm Brittany watching this
Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Cause it was part of it was a love letter to Tommy. Yeah. A lot of it was hurtful. It's such a fascinating, everybody's business. It's a different time. Everybody's business is on the fucking table right now. Yeah, no, it's crazy. Everybody's trying to expose everybody, which I think is fucking weird. I don't or expose themselves. Yeah. You know, the difference like,
People now get me an ice thing. I'm like hot for some reason. Can we turn this fan on? I think you asking me questions got my anxiety going. I get nervous. I got put on the hot seat. I find you. You're very fascinating person. I appreciate like yours. Multi fat. Both you and Jay are like, yeah, there's so many layers of,
I'm not used to people questioning me. So I like, woo. I was like, wow. Yeah. And I know it came from a loving place, but that's how bad my mental health is. It's like I get anxiety so easily. It's crazy. Do you? And if I ask you a question, is that. You're fine. I'm going to have to work through it. Is the anxiety like you're going to say the wrong answer? No, I don't know what it where it comes from. What would you say, Mimi? Sorry. I honestly don't know. I mean.
Yeah. And I always get like real, I don't know if it's like triggering just from, I don't know. Sorry that your podcast has turned into mine. But you're such an inspirational... I'm over here for glimpse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, because when I talk about it, I just get so like, oh, it's crazy. I get like out of my body. I will tell you, I'm 100% positive that not if it's inspirational for me, that there are people who had similar backgrounds.
who finds solace and like, and be like, I can do that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So, and I don't really talk about my life story. I haven't talked about it yet. We're actually WME is working on a book deal for me right now to do that. So when I do get to share like moments of my life, I think I just get like,
I don't know, like overwhelmed because it's like you have to think back. I don't know. It's like a therapy thing. I need to wear. Maybe I need to do some mushrooms. Get in the tent. So I tried to get in the tent. Bitch, you need a shirt that says get in the tent. Like literally, that is so funny. Get in the tent.
This podcast is brought to you by eHarmony, the
the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Why doesn't eHarmony allow copy and paste in first messages? Because you are unique, and your conversations should reflect that. eHarmony wants you to find someone who will get you. How are you going to know who gets you if people send you the same generic conversation starters they message everyone else? Conversations that actually help you get to know each other. Imagine that. Get who gets you on eHarmony.
Sign up today. I tried to do mushrooms, but I, so after I saw you, remember I was taking all those vitamins and stuff? I overdosed on B12 and vitamin D. What? And it fucking ended up having to go to the hospital, yes. And then I was microdosing and the fucking mushrooms like made me super depressed. Really? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, boy. Yeah, I never heard the super depressed mushroom thing. Isn't that crazy? Because they use them for depression. Right. What was it? Did it make you get real introspective? I don't know. I don't know if it was because I was on so many supplements at the time and it just didn't mix with it or what, but it was just not a good concoction. Yeah, it was bad. I mean, it had that same effect on you too, didn't it? Yeah, like I would...
But I also smoke a lot of weed with it. I don't feel like that was the issue. But yeah, like I was trying microdosing too for like a while, like much longer than her. And like, I feel like my depression almost got worse. Like I got into a really dark place and I don't know if maybe I should have worked through the dark place so I could come out on the other end of it. Has that ever happened to you? Yeah. Okay. But like I've done it enough where I am at a point where I'll say, I don't want to think about that anymore.
Let's think about it. Last night in my room, in the tent, there were times where I closed my eyes and I was seeing some real dark shit. And I would open my eyes and just say out loud, I don't want to look at that anymore. Show me something else. I've never tripped though. I've never done that. This was borderline trip. But you know, one of the things that I really have started to believe is that
My brain is not in control of me. It's not I'm in control of my brain. Absolutely. I think that's what I have to learn I will say out loud. I don't want to think about that anymore or I don't want to think about something fun So my new thing is is whenever I like normally if I'm not in front of people and I'm starting to have so funny to watch you for clean of the Fiji bottle I'm feeling better though
But so what I do whenever I do feel an anxiety attack coming on in my brain, I say change.
That's it. And I've been trying to every time that happens, I say change. And I feel like now that I've been doing it, it comes on like harder. It's like my body's like, oh, yeah. OK, well, we're going to do this. And it's like so now I'm like navigating through these panic attacks, but I'm still like trying to rewire my brain. Yeah. Without any hallucinogenics, though. So, yeah, that's the uphill climb. Yeah. Yeah. The hallucinogenics have really been my. Maybe I just need to try shrooms again. I won't do acid, but maybe there's no.
But you know, my, so Jacob and I have been touring some. Yeah. Let's talk about this. Enough about me. Let's talk about you. Jacob. One day we were in Portland and he said to me, he goes, Hey, you want to do some acid this afternoon? And I was like, okay. And he and I just walked around the city. I would tell you, I have close relationship with all three of my kids. It's different with all of them. You know, you guys want to hear the backstory about him and his children. Go listen to the other episode. But yeah,
Jacob touring with me has reinvigorated. It's just me and him out. We do two man show. I love it. And he's a funny motherfucker, dude. He's funny. I mean, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Can I tell you one of the big. So we we are the meet and greet after the show. This is when I decided I figured out, oh, he's got fans. When we were in Australia, we had this sold out tour of Australia and New Zealand. Yeah. He was getting standing ovations when he walked on the stage. Yeah.
And I was like, I'm not getting standing ovations. And then my meet and greet line was like the soccer moms and his meet and greet line was just like this young, hot, cool. And I'm like, what? You're like, can we switch? Yeah. What is happening? You guys are really here for me. Yeah. It's so crazy. But, but,
It has changed my entire. And then, you know, I like to torture him so I don't let him get his own hotel room. Yeah. It's just I I've named the tour one room, two beds. He fucking he hates it. We'll get in the room and he'll sit on his bed. Why won't you let him get his own room? I like to torture him. Yeah. Well, that and you can also keep a good eye on him. Yes. And I'll say to him, I'll go, dude, he's like, I just need my own room. I'm like, you can.
I told him, I go, you can jerk off in the bathroom when I'm here. He was like, I don't want to talk about this with you. And I'm like, what do you think I'm doing in there for so long? He was like, I don't want to talk about this with you. So whenever I go into the bathroom, right before I go in, I'll say, maybe I'm jerking off. Maybe I'm not. I think having Josh Wolfe for a dad would be fucking amazing. He's like, don't talk about that. I'm like, too late. How did he get into comedy?
You know what's funny is... I mean, besides the obvious, but I mean, not everybody's a funny motherfucker, you know, and has delivery. I think he likes... Like, it first just started just me and him on stage doing Q&A. And then one day I said, hey, go on stage. Oh, let's open up the show. And I say, say out loud, you know, my dad's been telling embarrassing stories about me my whole life. You want to hear a couple about him? Because nobody tells embarrassing stories about me. Right. And I was like, and then just...
Tell the worst ones, you know. And he did it one night and he just crushed. And I asked him, I go, you want to do this? It could just be me and you on the road. We don't need anybody else. You open with those. And I said, do you ever want to do this by yourself? He's like, no, I like traveling with you. I'm not sure if this is what I want to do by myself. But the tandem of it.
has been so here's what he opens the show. I do like an hour stand up. We do like 15 minutes of Q and a, and then I do some guitar and it's like songs. Do you know what else I've been doing? Gibson has been very good to me. I get a guitar at the beginning of every show and I give it a sign it and I give it away at the end of every show. And last night we gave it bunny.
I almost cried on stage last night at this show. There was this kid who was on the spectrum and his mother told me he hasn't been out of the house in years, but he heard you were coming to town. So he's been gearing up because he doesn't like people and being around people. And I feel him. Yeah. Yeah. But he was like super nervous. And so he came to my show in February when I was here and she told me this whole story.
And he reached out to me online and he was like, can I can my mom and I come back? But can we sit in the same seats? Because I know I was OK in these seats. And last night we gave him the guitar. And this young man started to well up in a way that was like so humbling to me because, you know, it was important to me starting two years ago. I told Beth, I go, I might stop comedy. She said, why? And I said, I really want to make a difference. She said, no.
I think you're making more of a difference than you know. People need comedy. People need laughter. Yeah. Like, I bet you up until these two years, Jay didn't know the difference he made in people's lives. Right? As an inspirational figure or somebody, or it's just his music speaking to people. And last night really was like one of those things where like, my little dick jokes are
making a difference for people that was such a huge i think it's your your your ambience your aura is healing also oh thank you so even though you're on stage talking about little dicks and stuff like that you're still people can take a break out of their lives to just enjoy a moment and you are doing that for them i i also like i love what i do yeah i i like being on stage last yo i
Last night was like we brought this 70 year old woman on stage It was her birthday and I gave her a bag of weed She was like I'm smoking this with my family tonight I was like alright Yeah it was just a fucking good time We are having such a good time How many more shows do you guys have? You're still touring right now right? Is he with you? He meets me in Charlotte this weekend Oh okay I was going to say damn it you should have brought him I'm selling at my age Yeah
more tickets than I ever have. And I think it goes back to what we were talking about at the beginning. I'm just grateful for it. Yeah. And the universe is like, cool, here's some more. I'm like, I'm still grateful. And they're like, yeah, open your mouth. Keep being grateful. Yeah. Fuck yeah. But,
Now my oldest son has been coming around with me and my daughter and I are doing this thing online where I've never put makeup on anybody. So she sent me a picture. She was like, I want you to make my face look like this. And so we're doing these makeup tutorials with me putting, I didn't know you're supposed to use a sponge. Oh, yeah.
I was using my whole hand like this. For what it's worth, I still do the hand method too, okay? I was like matting her on the face. She's like, you're like a monkey. Like, what are you doing? But the whole family is like, it's such a, I feel so blessed. It's just like a fucking, you guys are kind of like a Partridge family. Yeah. Everybody's got a personality. Everybody's got a part that they play. A hundred percent. I love that. Yeah, a hundred percent. I'm having more fun. And you know what? Like, I,
I thought I'd be done by now. No, you got a lot of life in you, Josh. For an old dude. You're not old. Listen, your words are spells and you have to stop saying that. I'm crispy and young. There you go. Literally, there's a you. There's a fucking thing. They are. They have. There's a thing I have on my phone where I was getting into this rut where I was always saying, I'm old, I'm old, I'm old.
You're right. Yeah, dude. I'm starting to think of all the spells I've cast on myself in the last two days. You got to be my face frozen like that. I'm sorry. I was blown away for a second. No, you got to be really careful with what you say because the universe picks it up and you're not old. You're fucking literally on fire. Yeah, dude, not old, young and spry.
Fucking got a big dick. Not spry. Yeah, dude. Come on, universe. Yeah, is it too late for the big dick part? Yeah. Watch that motherfucker grow. Watch that shit in your tent tonight and watch it grow, buddy. Yo, I know gravity's working on my nuts. It's not working on my dick quite as well. This old man nut thing, by the way, I never saw it coming.
I did because I've been in a locker room with old dudes. Right. And you're like, how old are you, Josh? I'm 53. You don't even look 53. I was thinking you were like 45. I'm 53. Okay. Well, you don't look 53. Yeah. I feel I did the last time I was on your podcast. Yeah. I looked 53. Well, you weren't feeling good. But I feel like yet. But I think Beth keeps me young. Yeah. Well, she's a hottie.
I'm not going to tell you how, but she's older than me. Is she? Yeah. God, she's beautiful. Fucking. She is such a smoke show. It's crazy. She looks young. Some mornings when she'll wake up, she's like, are you staring at me? I'm like, I can't believe you're still here. Like, who are you? I can't believe you're still here. She is and smart and the kindest person.
She really is. The kindest person. She's so accepting. When I first met her, I didn't feel any judgment from her. And normally when I meet wives, that's the first thing I feel. And she was just so loving and so just like, hey, buddy. And I was just like, I love her. Do you know what she said to me when we were driving home from that night? Uh-uh. She said, this is exactly what she said. She said, she is such a nice person. Oh, yeah.
And I was like, how do you get that? She was like, I know what people think, but she's like a kind, nice person. And I was like, are you sure? Does Beth want to make out too? Yeah. I was like, do you two need a tent session together? Beth is not a drug person at all. Yeah, me either. So even talking about drugs makes me verklempt. Do you? That might be why I'm having anxiety too. But.
But do you, but here's what's crazy about both of you. Yeah. Is that you're both accepting of who your husbands are and that you're going to do some drugs and like, you know? Well, yeah, no, for sure. I mean, I'm never going to change who my husband is. No. You know, like even the bad parts of him are still loved. He changed those parts on his own, you know? So it's like, I think when you just love somebody, it's like, you know, do what you got to do, baby. Whatever makes you feel good. That's exactly. Shh.
I asked her once, I was like, do you mind me getting high? And she was like, do you like getting high? And I said, I do. And she said, then I like you being high. Yeah. If it was something you didn't like, I would be like, no, I don't like it. But you like it for you. Yeah. Yeah. And it's better than being shit-faced drunk. Or shooting up heroin. Yeah. Between your toes. Not that I've ever done that. No. I know a few people who have, actually. That's the one thing I... I tried coke because I was...
I was going to love it. Coke's a gross drug and everybody has skid marks in their underwear that does it.
Like what? Coke makes you have to instantly shit. Yeah. So the minute you do a line of Coke, you're taking a dump. Yeah. You got skid mark. Yeah. All of it. Yeah. It's funny that that's an interesting. That's what you associate with. Yeah. Well, I've done enough. I've done enough eight balls in my life to know. Now, did you like Coke? No, but I would get shit face drunk on Xanax and then I would need to come up. So I would do blow. I did meth once by accident.
Oh, God. I thought it was Coke. So my buddy was like, I got us some Coke. And then I did a line. And I was like, man, that burns a lot. Maybe I should try the other nostril just in case. I thought maybe it was this nostril and not the drugs that I had just done. I was like, this nostril is a little raw. Let me hit this other one. Can I tell you how meth makes people look terrible? It makes you feel terrible. I had this thin. Can I tell you how I know I look bad? We went to a strip club.
And I asked a woman for a dance and she straight up said, no. And I was like, whoa, whoa. Yeah. How bad?
And I told my buddy, he was like, you are a sweaty mess, dude. I go, what? He was like, you have like sweat. A film. Yeah, you have like a thin and you're doing this with your jaw. You have a bead of sweat on your nose. Nobody's giving you a fucking dance. You're drinking gin and tonic like an old man. Meth is bad. I had a little bout with meth too. I almost lost a hand because of doing meth. Why a hand? Well, I was getting tattooed by my tattoo artist in a garage. Yeah.
This is a great, it wasn't a real tattoo artist. We were smoking meth. Oh, it was the tattoo guy smoking meth. Yeah, probably. And I told him I was so high. I told him to go deeper while he was tattooing me and he did. And it ended up causing a severe infection in my entire arm. And I almost lost my arm because of it.
you know, first, first bad choices, having the dude giving the tattoo, doing meth, doing meth. I know. Yeah. My life is a fucking fuck show. That is in second. Now I can't even, now I literally can't talk about my childhood without having to have a water bottle, but I used to smoke meth in garages with fucking people who were not even certified to do tattoos.
Like tell me life is not a circle. It's a huge cruel joke. Really? You, your life seems like it's, there's been so much. Oh yeah. A lot. Do you ever, are there times where you remember a story? You're like, I can't believe,
I just remembered this. Oh, yeah. All the time. All the time, right? Literally. Even while I'm sitting here talking to you, I'm like, good Lord, how did I fucking get through that? That garage meth tattoo is like a great reality show. Oh, no. I would love to see some dude do a fucking bump of meth and be like, let's tattoo! We weren't tootskiing. We were smoking it. Ooh. Yeah, the old glass dragon. The glass dick is something also...
I felt like I would never do that, but I snored it. Like somehow I was better. Right. Do you know what I mean? That's for addicts. That's how I felt. I was like, I'm saving the cartilage in my nose, but I'm crystallizing my lungs. You know, like the rationale that you have when you're in addiction is just crazy. I, I will tell you the one thing, the reason I hated Coke is Coke made me sit in a corner and shut up. Yeah, no, that's, that's what it'll do. I didn't rock back and forth. I didn't chat it up at all.
Oh, yeah. The fucking... Can I tell you? I interviewed Bill Gates once. Wow. And he... Rocks? Rocked. It could be a trauma response, too. It was one of the first things I noticed that I was like, oh, this...
Dude is rocking. And I caught myself kind of. Rocking with him. Like, is this what we're doing together, dude? Are we best friends? You got to rock with. We just became best friends. You got to rock with Bill Gates, literally. I, when I was in Seattle, I lived in Seattle. I lived in Seattle at a time when, so Kurt Cobain had, I lived down the street from him when he shot himself. Hmm.
And I had a New York license. It was on Leshi. And I couldn't get to my house because they were like, you need to show that you... And I had a New York license. So I had to park and walk down to my house. We used to see him out by that lake in the summer in a trench coat. And I was like, this dude is not healthy. But it was at a time when like...
You would see the guys from Alice in Chains stopping in at bars and singing. It was such a crazy... Back in the good old days. It was a crazy time to be in Seattle with that music. I was... You know, Courtney Love held like a huge...
Virgil? Virgil? Virgil. Virgil. Yep. After he passed. And said the fucking craziest. We were all like, what's happening? Well, I mean, she was probably on fucking had just done a speedball. Yeah. But what an amazing time being up in Seattle at the time. I remember I have a picture where I look at it now. I was wearing flannel.
But I also had flannel tied around my waist. Yeah. I still rock that look. Do you go double flannel? Yeah. I'll still rock it. I also, I was overalls, no shirt underneath with one thing. Yep. Did that too. Undone. Yeah. You probably had a shirt underneath. Yeah. No. Yeah. A little bra possibly. Yes. I had, do you know, when I first started doing standup, I thought I need to dress so people remember me.
So I had like a fedora and a vest and a vest with a t-shirt under the vest.
and a black leather motorcycle jacket with a ponytail and bangs. Oh, my God. Josh Wolf with bangs? It was like the worst Color Me Bad cover. Do you know what I mean? Like that kind of boy band. Why is he wearing that? It was the worst. I'm going to show you this picture. I need to see it. I kind of, because I also had this long...
I have very dewy hair. Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. How'd you do the bangs with that? So when it's wet, I used to trick myself. I'm like, I look like a professional wrestler. Do you know what I mean? And then when it dried up, it looked like... The old Jerry curl. Yeah, it's exactly. So glow. Right? And it was wet and looked... I was like, I look sexy as...
And then it dried up and it was like a squirrel. Like Bob Ross. Yeah. That's exactly that tight Jew curl. It's not a good look. That is hilarious. But I, and then I, early on, I've always worn a hat on stage. Yeah. You know, like your signature. When my, I remember my first couple episodes of Chelsea, I wasn't wearing a hat and I'd known her for a long time. And she said to me, where's your hat? And I go, it's TV. And she goes,
I'm not I thought I wasn't supposed to hat and by the way this is one of the things that I truly love about her Chelsea Handler by the way she said I don't like your face without the hat and I was like cool Chelsea will tell you like it is and she does not care can I tell you there's a point in time in my life when I was working on her show where I was 192 pounds of not good 192
And I'm walking up the stairs in front of her. And I'll tell you, so some people like this, some people don't. But I do like this from friends. Right. What I want from my friend is an honest. Absolutely. Yeah. Who else am I going to get it from? Right. I don't need strangers opinion. You don't need yes men. No, no, I need. And I'm walking upstairs and I hear from behind me, your ass is gross. Yeah.
And I said, what? She was like, when did your ass get so big? And I was kind of huffing and puffing up the stairs. She was like, you need to get your shit in shape. And I fucking the next day, I was like, you are right. I looked in the, I looked in the mirror. I'm like,
Yeah. And I asked Beth, I'm like, do I, am I bigger? She was like, it happens so gradually. Yeah. I see you every day. Yeah. So I don't, but she, Chels was like, there's something wrong has happened. That's remedy. She's like, let's shape it up, buddy. Fix that shit. Oh, wrap around. Let's go. I am a hundred percent. I, there's a friend of mine who, uh,
I'm known forever. And he's in a tough spot in his life. And we had a zoom with a bunch of other, other friends. And I said, we got to tell them this, this, this, this, this. And my friends were like, their attitude was like, it's his life. And I don't want him to be mad at us. And I said, all right, I'm outvoted, but I want all of you to know if I'm fucking up in my life. Yeah. This is why we're so close. I expect to hear from one of you motherfuckers. Absolutely. And if I don't,
I'm going to question what this relationship is. That's what friends are about. What's the point of having a friend group if somebody's not going to tell you when you're fucking up? This is sometimes you can't see outside of your own. Yeah. She made me has had to tell me a couple of times like, Hey man, reel it back in. But you respect that from somebody and they, and here's another thing. It's not something mean you're doing. You care enough about her that,
to be like, hey, I care about you. I think this is a bad move for you. Yeah. Ultimately, you're going to make whatever decision you want. But this is what friends do. Yeah. Yeah. I my that friend group. I was like, you guys, this is not a good look for us. Well, you should probably just tell them, hey, look, I'm going to tell him. I did. OK, good. Yeah. Yeah. He did not receive it well. Oh, yeah.
That's probably why they didn't want to tell him then. Now we know why. He's not talking to me anymore. He will though. When the world circles back around, he'll come back around. At the end of the day though, again, when we go back to what we were saying, not up to me. But I know that in my conscience, I did the right thing. Absolutely. Do you know what I mean? I mean, everything, life and how you talk to people is all about intention. So,
So if you intended on going to him to help him, that's all you needed to do. You know, you didn't have any bad intentions behind what you were doing. So, yeah, I really, I mean, intention is so important, um,
For like, I know a lot of people think they think outcome. Yeah. If you start with intent, outcomes gonna. Yeah, absolutely. Eventually find its way there. I mean, look at this place. Yeah, no, we're, we're growing and glowing. That's what I say. I mean, that furry wall is like, we're going to let you go back over to the furry wall because there's mushrooms on the furry wall. Let's talk about what 20, what, what does the rest of 2023 have in store for you? Well,
We're selling out theaters now. Crazy. So proud of you. Selling out theaters now. I'm just like so blown away. It is close to emotional when I think about where I am, the ups and downs. People telling me a couple years ago, basically, you should start doing something else. You should retire. You're at an age where no, you're not going to get new fans. There aren't going to be. And like, so this is,
I was at the, it's just very emotional for me almost every night because you're so grateful. I am so incredibly grateful for the, and for the whole journey for the ups and the downs. Yeah. But 2023 is just, honestly, I have some incredibly huge things brewing. Anything we can talk about? A little hint, a little exclusive. So I'm putting something together that,
Well, you know, the key in this business a lot of time is to be first, first to market first. We're putting something together with friends, with a couple of friends of mine and some money people that is going to, I think, change things for comedians in general. I love that. I love that you're always helping others along your way. I think it's so important. My husband does that too. When you, to see people who don't reach back, I'm like, what are we doing?
Well, why not? Selfishness. But like, it's not going to affect yours. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. But so 2023 is just...
Jacob and I on the road. My oldest son will be coming on the road also. So Jacob's your second. Oh, he's your youngest. Okay. Gotcha. And, uh, and, and just more fam. I'm leaning in because I love it to this stuff with my family. I love it. It's working though. That's the beauty of it. You're doing what you want to do for the first time and what you're loving more than anything ever in the world. And it's working. Yeah.
I'm putting out, uh, I, you know how I like to write those songs. Yes. I'm putting out a album called songs. My wife used to love. So all of her favorite songs, I'm, I'm changing the words too. Yeah. And she fucking hates it, which I love. If you're married to somebody and you don't bother them. Right. That's one of my favorite things to do. I have this long eyebrow that she hates. Mm.
and so we lay in bed and I'll look at it and I'll twirl it she's like I fucking hate that eyebrow so much I'm like I'm like a super villain right she's like I fucking hate that but like so this album ton of fun I got oh I got a residency in Vegas no for having wait a second how could you not tell me that first and foremost okay so
You know, the show that I was doing down here that Jelly did with me a couple of times, the Bonanza Extravaganza, which was like comedy. We did first time comics. We did music. We did a lot of improv stuff. It was like a show.
I'm taking that Nashville version and I'm bringing it to Vegas. So it's going to have a very amazing Vegas at it's starting at Kimmel's Comedy Club. Oh, I didn't even know he had a comedy club. It's starting there so we can really build what the show is. It's called Josh Wolf's Fantastical Jamboree. Oh, my gosh. We're going to come see it. Oh, it's so much. It's every Monday. It's like we did the first one last month.
And man, this show is going to be something special because you know what it is. It's just fun. Good. And people can feel that when you're on stage and you're working, if it's work and that's how you feel about it, people can feel that. But because you're going on stage and you're just having a blast with your friends, like everybody else feels like they're having a blast too, right along with you. Listen, the leopard pants I wore last night.
I almost brought them today. I wish you would. They're in the car. No, it's okay. Okay. Yeah. But the leopard pants are like, I've really started. Beth is like, you know, your stage clothes have started to bleed into real life. Yeah.
And I'm like, yeah, she goes, you know, you were a fur coat for real to dinner. You're not method acting anymore. Yeah. She's like, was that a red suit you wore out? I'm like, yeah, I like it with the white shoes. She was like, yeah. Uh, but so I am just really embracing fun. And that's what 2023 is. I love that. Where can people buy tickets? Comedian joshwolf.com for tour dates. Comedian joshwolf.com. Um,
The I have a show on YouTube that I do with my youngest son called Family Tussle, where we do terrible things to each other.
I have the makeup tutorial on YouTube. My YouTube channel is really where you can find everything you need to find about me, but comedianjoshwolf.com for tour dates. And yeah, man, I'm, I'm just so grateful to be here and for you to have me back on. And Josh, thank you so much for coming. And thank you for allowing me to a space to have a panic attack in the middle of your, that was fucking amazing. I better get views. Yeah.
I didn't go through hell just for nothing. I'm just kidding. I have expected you to just start pouring the bottle on your head. Listen, it almost got there. Okay. When I have panic attacks, I hop in the shower and they literally get rid of them. Do you cold bath it in cold shower? So I cold shower it, but I want to do, I start doing cold plunges. So too much of a pussy. I like that cryo. Yeah. I haven't done cryo yet. I love cryo. Yeah. But the cold bath, I'm so much of a, I put my foot in. I'm like, you know what? I'm healthy. No,
I feel pretty good. I feel pretty good without that part of this part of the health thing. I think I love it because of my anxiety is so severe that I need something to shock me. I need something to kind of like jolt me to like be back in my body instead of being out of my body. Have you tried self-hypnosis at all?
I have not. What does that entail? Well, so this the anxiety thing I've read a lot about. You should read a lot about the self-hypnosis where you can rewire your brain through self-hypnosis. And there's you can have somebody you can hire somebody to guide you. You can their apps where you can guide you. But I've been reading a lot about it. It's like meditation plus.
You're using the tools of hypnosis to help rewire. But it's fascinating stuff. I would read about it.
I'll fucking wake up clucking like a chicken and shit. Hilarious. If you start speaking French, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, just wake up a whole new fucking persona, dude. If I did something like that by myself, that's probably what would happen. I'll wake up like Rando Macho. What's his name? Macho Man Randy Savage. If you woke up like, ooh, yeah. I would fucking. Your voice change. You're like, how?
and Jay's poor Jay has just stuck with me dude he would call me like dude what did you do I didn't think she would gonna start talking like the Taco Bell dog that's not what I thought was gonna happen like Spuds McKenzie yeah oh good reference holy shit dude do we even remember Spuds McKenzie nobody remembers you do well that dog is so cute
That shape of the head. You don't remember Spuds McKenzie? He was like the dog that had the red circle around his eye. He was the bull terrier. What about the Taco Bell dog? Yo quiero. Yo quiero Taco Bell. Yeah, yo quiero Taco Bell. That was also a good one. My dog shits on trees. Oh!
He puts his asshole up against the tree and he, and it sticks. He shits on trees. He doesn't shit on the grass. He shits on trees or on top of bushes, but he doesn't. What kind of dog is it? How tall is he? He's half pit, half American bulldog. Okay. So he's a big guy. So he presses his asshole up against the tree. And so when it leaves, it's just this piece of shit hanging off of the tree. And you're like, it's,
It gives a new meaning to Dingleberry, right? It's such a weird
You know, the trees like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, shit. Can't you shit on the bottom? You're shitting. And then he likes like on a cactus in the desert. He likes to shit on the cactus. He doesn't get a prickle in his butt. He hovers over. Oh, he hovers over and like drop a fucking cherry on top of the cactus. And he'll just like walk away. Like, here you go. Go ahead. Pick that up. Has he been like that since he was a puppy? Since we got him. He shit on bushes, shit in bushes.
And I only made the mistake once. I was like, I'm going to reach in the bush. Oh, no. And one of the little things made a hole. So I had a little poop on my finger. And that's something that mentally lived with me for three months. Every time this hand came close to my face, I was like, nope. I wouldn't even masturbate with my right hand anywhere. Oh, you can't. Little fucking stink eye for the pink eye. You don't want to do that.
Yeah, dude, you don't want to get dog pink eye. That is a bad, a stink eye pink eye. No, but yeah, your dog doesn't shit on the bushes. No, he, but Chachi literally doesn't have to scrunch because his butthole is so big. So Chachi is normally here too. Does he have a big butthole? He's got the biggest cratery butthole I've ever seen on a dog. I mean, he's the most beautiful dog and he turns around and he's all asshole. And literally all he has to do is just stand.
He stands and shits. He doesn't have to hunch over because his butthole is so wide and so big that it just...
plops out that is so no he's got no hemorrhoids it's just effortless no and he's crazy he doesn't he knows he has a big butthole so he shits like a vegan it just comes right out literally he does not let anybody touch his asshole either this dog we every time we take him to the vet he tries to bite them every time they touch his asshole yeah if you try to touch his asshole he will fight you he hasn't had the right finger yet yeah
That's what I learned. I was like him when I was younger and then I was like, that's what it's about. Got it. Do you like a finger in the asshole? Yeah. All the time or just every now and then? No, every now and then. Is it stroking your G spot or just penetration? It's the G spot. Yeah. And it's also- Do you do it yourself? No.
because I tried once and I started to laugh. I was like, this is funny. My fingers in my butthole right now. Like, do you know what I mean? You were so horny. Just jack it off. And then I stopped. I was like, I can't. And now what am I going to do with this? Do you know what I mean? Yep. You can't put the old stink. Nope. No, I, I just can't do it to myself. I can't get past the funny, because here's what I start to think about as a comic. This has got to look funny.
So funny. Like if Beth walked in right now, first of all, she would be like, we're done with that finger. Like you're going to have to use something else. But, but like for me also, like, yeah, I don't like to do it myself. And for her, like,
I don't like anything all the time. Right now it gets monotonous. We're like, we're doing this together. So there are some things where I'll be like, we're both, we'll both decide. We're not going to do that for a couple months. Right. So when we do it again, yeah. Like it's like, it makes it fun and exciting. Yeah. But do you feel like you ejaculate harder from that? Because that's the whole reason why people get their G spot stimulated. I,
I don't know if it's because of the G spot or because it's like, Oh, we're doing this fun new thing again. Right. And I, it's not my finger. Right. You know what I mean? You got to go wash your finger. That's not, this is not, no dirty Sanchez's. Oh, not in our house. No, no dirty. Although look, man, I'm not against playing jokes like that on each other. You know what? I told you about the big Mac story. I did it one time. Remember the, you remember the big Mac? Yes. Oh,
I swiped my friend's asshole and it smelled like Big Mac and I fucking would go and stick it under people. Like that's the last time I ever credit carded anybody's butthole no filter because you never know what people's butthole. You really know a lot about a person by the way their butthole smells. So if you ask Jacob Wolf a story, okay? Oh no. We were at my daughter's, it was a recital for like her, she was in high school. Yeah. And a woman sat in front of us
jeans, big booty, no underwear. Nice. Asshole. Like it was, so it was coming down and Jacob and it was me, Jacob and Beth. And Beth looks at both of us and she goes, did one of you fart? And I was like, no. And I go, Jake, you fart? And he was like, no. And then he, Jacob just goes,
And I was like, you think that's her butthole? And every time she would move, a waft of asshole would just come up. Oh my gosh. And I was like, these are the worst seats in the house. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I would have probably moved or complained. Who complained to her? Who washed your asshole? Who am I complaining to? To move. Hey, excuse me, Usher. Usher.
Come let her walk. Yeah. Do you have a wipe? Can you? No. Right. And so like, how can you not smell that though? I'm sorry. If anything on me smells, I know it.
Especially your asshole. Yeah, you asshole has a specific smell. I hope it's the only thing on your body that smells like that Yeah, do you know what I mean? If you're like is that your mouth or your asshole you made some bad life choices? Between your asshole in your mouth we can't be friends. No, it's a weird thing But I mean like how could you go out in public and not know that that you could you can waft in it yourself? I
That's the thing. Like the no underwear is a choice. I'm happy if you want to make. Right. But like if you're assholes hanging out of your pants, you've got to take extra special care. Yeah. Especially if you've got a big ass because no air gets in there. So when the air does hit. Yeah, dude, it's it's not. No offense to our big booty duties, but. But.
It's crazy. My Jacob's girlfriend nicknamed my dog Big Booty Judy. The one who shits on trees. Yes, dude. The one who shits on trees. He is fucking bananas. He also. Fitting for the family, though. You did not warn me about the coyotes in Vegas. Oh, yeah. They're everywhere. And not scared. No. And healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Healthy looking. Yeah.
Oh, they don't go without food. That's for sure. They eat dogs. They eat fucking everything. In LA, they're very meth-y looking. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? They're mangy and they run sideways. Oh, no. They're the elite in Vegas. Yo, they look like that dog Balto. You know what I mean? We had, he and I, and my dog's not small. Yeah. There was a coyote following us. Wow. He was stalking you guys. So we were out.
You know, there's a place called the Nevada Power Lines, which is right. We were out walking there and I was was one of the first times I was out there and I was high and I was looking around and there was this coyote walking behind us. So I stopped. And in L.A., if you go, ha, they'll run away. And I went, ha.
And he looked at me like, chew, motherfucker. You got a cold? How'd you? You okay? And I threw a rock at him and he didn't budge. No, they don't care. If once they lock their eyes on something too, he'll probably stalk wherever you are. We went back the next day, not thinking, and there were three of them. Oh, he went and got the homies.
That's right, dude. That's fucking right. He went and got the homies. We have him back. Yeah, no. They were looking for trouble. Yeah, dude. And you know who doesn't want trouble high at 7 in the morning? No. This guy. Or Big Booty Judy. Big Booty Judy thinks he wants some of that action. Oh, he does? Oh, fuck yeah. He's like, I think I can take him. I'm like, nah, bro. No. You get fed in a bowl every morning. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? These motherfuckers have to fight for it.
for their scrappings. Yeah. Dude, I rub your belly to put you to sleep at night, dude. Yeah. You know what I mean? Literally. These dudes are not, they don't need, yeah, yeah. I love that. Josh, I love every time you come on the podcast. Thank you for having me. I can't wait to have you back in another, let's do another year. Let's don't do another two years. I would love to. Gotta bring the family. I will bring, there's enough seats here. Well, by the time you come back, we're going to have another studio and it's going to be bigger.
Bigger? Because your words are spells, yes. Words are spells, that's right. I'm young with a big dick. Yeah, yes. We got to give you enough time to rub the furry wall over here, too. Oh, yeah, I'm going to do it. Yeah. He literally, this whole podcast has been looking over at the wall. I keep looking over like this. It looks so luscious. I love you so much. Thank you so much for having me. And I'm so proud of you. I really am. You say you're proud of Jay and I. I'm so proud of you. Just watching your growth, your health, your journey, just...
Your generosity and your genuineness also is just always such a breath of fresh air. Thank you. That means so much to me. And I want to tell you something. I am at a point in my life where I'm not deflecting compliments. I'm receiving that. And so thank you so much for saying that. That means a lot to me. I appreciate you very much. I love it. That's what you know. We all need to take a page out of Josh Wolf's book. I love that. I feel like you dropped a lot of wisdom today.
I did shrooms last night. Yeah. So everybody go do fucking shrooms, get in your tents and let me know how the tent sessions go. Everybody. I'll see it. Thank you guys for listening to another episode of dumb blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.
