The PETTIEST Thing You Did After A Breakup! | Ep 225 | ShxtsnGigs Podcast 01:14:42

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f*** are you talking about, you insane Hollywood a**hole?

So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes in details. She wouldn't do it to herself intentionally. Don't make me repeat myself. So what would you have me do? Right guys, straight into it. Pettiest things you've done after a breakup. And as per usual...

Juicy. Juicy. Fucking juicy. And I'm just going to reel them off, James. I'm just going to reel them off. Say less. Moved out whilst he was at work. Left sardines everywhere. And put chili powder in all his boxes.

That doesn't make sense. Doesn't it? That doesn't make sense. Sardines everywhere. Everywhere. Sardines. Who? Oh, sardines and mackerel. Rem used to bang mackerel when we lived together. He used to bang out the mackerel when we used to do this. It's fucking stunk. Yeah, mackerel stinks. It's stunk. Sardines as well, to be fair, stink. All right, say less. Put diesel in a car instead of petrol. That's a piss take. Fam, your car would rock. Bro, I promise you it's the ultimate piss take.

I've seen that happen. Really? Yeah, I've witnessed. I was with Jay one day and he accidentally put petrol in there on a diesel car. Oh, the car. It didn't make it 10 meters. Fam, it would rock and he had to drain the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had to get someone out. Long. Livid. Long. Cut up all his teas into crop tops after I found out he cheated. Crop tops. Livid. All of them. Yeah, all of them. Fam? All of them. Do you know how many teas I have? Do you know how many teas I have? All of them, James. Fuck. Fuck.

Every single one. Oh. He left me for someone else. I caught chlamydia, then fucked him again. He passed it on to his new girlfriend. Bro. This, okay, listen. To be fair, the title, this is literally doing what it says on the tip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't even get mad. Yeah. Because they're openly saying this is the petty shit that I'm into. Yep.

Wow. I went out, caught chlamydia and gave it to him on purpose just so he could give it to his girl. So he has to explain himself. He has to explain to his girl, get dumped and guess where he's coming next. Back to me. And I'm going to close the door in his face. I'm going to close the door in his face. Go fix yourself up. Go clean up. That's jokes. Poured bleach in all the laundry detergent and fabric softener. Fucked.

- For fuck's sake. - Watched all her favorite shows so I could ruin the endings. - That's brutal. - That is petty. - All of them. - All of them to ruin the endings. - That would take weeks. - It would. - Bro, that would take weeks. - He's got time on his hands. He's got time on his hands. - Jesus, also how many shows is she watching?

I hope to be faithful. I watch shows. What? On the bounce? Multiple. Bro, right at the moment, I'm currently watching, obviously on the weekly basis, I'm watching Sea, House of the Dragon and Rings of Power. But on the interim ting, I'm watching Better Call Saul. I'm watching, obviously Rick and Morty, I'm watching weekly as well. I'm watching Better Call Saul. I'm watching The Servant. I'm watching, um,

I'm watching something else that I can't remember, but I've got like six, seven shows on the bounce. Oh, I swear. Yeah. I've got a few. I've got Rings of Power. House of the Dragon. House of the Dragon. Rick and Morty. I Need to Jump Back on Sea. And...

What else am I watching? Cyberpunk. Oh, Cyberpunk's good. Oh, right. I haven't had time. Cyberpunk's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jump straight in. Jump back in. Right. Pay this thing you've done after a breakup. He suffers with IBS, so I put laxatives in his protein powder. It was the big container. Your mom. Signed her dad up to Grindr. Wow. What are we doing? Wow. What are we actually doing? Wow.

cut her ponytail off in class that reminds me of you that reminds me of you that reminds me of you james did you write this yeah i didn't do it to be paid i did it yeah i did it because i i was a show-off i was a fucking childhood show-off you were trying to be the class cloud literally trying to do up class cloud and it backfired it backfired and literally everyone turned against me oh they they would have hated you yeah yeah 100% fucking hell

When I left the flat for the last time, I took the main head of the Hoover. So he's just left with a spout ting. I'll be next. I promise you because I don't even think you can get those. He can't just buy the heads. It's a new Hoover ting. It has to be. Fuck. Transferred money out of his account every time he went on a date just so his card would decline.

why do you have still have access yeah yeah or why do you still have access to my accounts transfer access and talking app has to be she's got access to the app and password for everything how do you know when i'm going on dates as well also why do you know why do you know that are you my pa where are you yeah because if i'm in nando's you clearly have to be in the same nando yeah who's doing up fbi yeah yeah who is doing up how are you able to do this consistently

Fuck you and your friends all pricks. Yeah. Cause I know you're not just doing it on your own. That's a, Oh, that's a team effort. That is a team effort. It's an op effort. A friend of mine threw glitter all over his clothes.

Glitter? Do you know how long that's going to take to come out? Oh, it's impossible. Oh, I know exactly how long it's going to take to get out. I know exactly how long it takes to get out. And it's going to take forever. Fuck. Even if you're in the washing machine, your washing machine's fucked. Oh, yeah. Your washing machine is fucked. Even the shit that didn't have glitter on it is going to get glitter on it. Fuck, you know. Just from the washing machine. Oh, it's long. Bro, that would send me crazy. Yeah, that's long. That would send me crazy.

I would just set the whole garment. I'll set the whole garment. I like I'd have to burn and start again. Couldn't stop laughing whilst trying to break up with him. My friend had to pull me away. I promise you I'll choke you today. I'd have to fight somebody.

She can't stop laughing while she's trying to. While you're breaking my heart. You are the love of my life. And you find this too hilarious that your friend had to step in and stop it. She had to drag you away. Jasmine, stop. Jasmine, stop. Jasmine, you're taking the piss. He's crying and you're breaking his heart. Stop. Come over here because you're killing him.

You're killing him. And she's drapes in her arm. Yeah. And she's resisting. She's resisting. To carry on laughing. I have to break up with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't get it. He's a waste man. He's a joke. He's literally a joke. And I can't catch my breath. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there with a blade. I'll be there with a blade just shaking. I'm cutting someone. I'm cutting someone. Just shake it.

Fuck me. Oh, God. I dated one of her oldest friends. Turns out she was the one. We're married now. That could never be our friendship group, James. Married? We're married now. And you expect me to just turn up at the house for lunch, whatever. Firm it. That's tough. That is tough. That's very tough. Put his number on a gay site and labeled him as desperate for local meats. No. Plural. Plural.

Desperate for local meat. It's the desperate bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These man ate him up. I couldn't receive one of those calls. If I'm just whipping and there's unknown number, hello? Hello? Is this Fuhad from gay whatever whatever? Excuse me? But the thing is, they wouldn't even say from gay. True, they wouldn't. They'd say, is this Fuhad? Is this Fuhad? I'd be like, yeah. No, I want to be speaking. Speaking?

Speaking? On a business thing? Is this Fuhad? Speaking? Has to be a business thing. This could be a money opportunity. It could be. Is this Fuhad? Speaking? Oh, I've heard. I've just read your profile and it says you're about, you're local. It says you're desperate for local meats. And I've got that wooded.

I've got some heavy meat with your name on it I'll look at the number and say excuse me Bro is this food or not Yes it is But I think you've got the wrong number Nah brother I've seen your profile I've seen your page Yours is the one I want Now shut up Shut up and come over I'm sending you my location now

Desperate for local meats, James. Nah, bro. That's just call number one. That's first call. I'm changing my number. If I get two more, I'm changing my number. If I get one more, I'm changing my number. That will scare me. I heard you're looking for meats. Plural. It's the S that will send me. It's the S that will send me. I heard you're looking for meats. Pardon? Pardon?

That's saying mines and others. Others. Rags. Rags. I will be terrified. I heard you're looking for meats. That would actually petrify me. Yeah. Deep in it, that would actually petrify me. I heard you're desperate for meats. Desperate. Wow. Wow. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. stop.

traveled 80 miles and slept with his online gamer best friend that he hadn't even met yet that would cut a man up that would cut a man up because i've seen videos of online gamer friends meeting for the first time they meet and they it's love they well love they well up oh my god it's been two years i've can't believe i've i've i've played with people for two years and then i only met them recently yeah yeah i remember you saying my god could never tell me she drove 80 miles to bang him out of pettiness

And my boy, we can't even game together anymore. We can't. We literally can't game together anymore. Because he can never tell me this. And I can never find out. And you will find out. That's why she did it. She'll make sure you found out. Okay, I got a few more. Wow. Took the knobs off his cooker so he couldn't even cook. Just a dial ting. You have to just be cooking like that. I'll be fucking pissed off with that. Nutted in her milk. How did you get access to her milk after she broke up with you?

How did you gain intimate access to the glass of milk after she'd already broken up with you? Hey, who knows? I'm thinking it's a, I'm thinking it was probably a situation where she was done. They were arguing in the yard. She was done with him. She's like, by the time I come back from work, I want you and your shit gone. I want you out of here. Oh, and he just took off the blue top. He just took off the blues and just knotted in there. Shook it, dipped. Say less.

And just carried on with his day Wow to be fair though I mean that's disgusting But she's been backing up Facts So she wouldn't even tell the difference She wouldn't even know Facts And then the best thing he could be like Oh how's that milk taste Fine Why Oh I nutted in there Cool So Yuck but Yuck but you nutted in my mouth Like twice a week for the last six years So So what's your actual point Cool How did you feel Jacking it into a bottle of milk You're a joke The tables have turned The tables have turned haven't they This is why This is why you're not in the house anymore Yeah

This is why you're on the streets. Because you do dumb shit. Yeah, this is why you're back at your mum's. You know what? Actually, let me ring your mum now and make sure that she double locks the milk. How about that? How about I ring your mum now and tell her, keep the milk safe. Keep the milk safe. Keep the milk in your room. Because your son has just admitted...

to bashing himself off into bottles of milk. Yeah? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. All right. You can't stop nothing because the call is recorded. Because you're telling me I just drank nut, unsolicited nut, and you think it's a game. So say less. I'm telling your mum. Let's see how far this game can go when you're back at your mum's, bruv. Let's see how long you're there.

I would shake and cry. Bro, it'll be on a Dharma thing where he says- She's got all the cards. All the cards. Dharma thing is that you have to leave the yard. You have to fend for yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're ruining every opportunity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't help yourself. This is why you're single. You're 28. And you're- And you're living at your mom's. And she's about to dash you out because you're a joke, young man. Oh, that will rock my core. And as soon as I come off this phone-

I'm going to be back in that and it's not going to be yours. It's going to be a real man's nut. How does that make you feel? How do you feel, little boy? How do you actually feel? I promise you now, Fiyad. Dial tone. I can't respond to that because I know I'm defeated. Dial tone. It'll be a dial tone thing. I would have hung up time ago, James.

i can't hear all that chit chat when she's one i can't hear all that chit chat i can't i'm sorry i just can't i can't yeah my wounds got enough salt leave me alone i can't leave me a room i'm on for your ringer i haven't got time for this anymore i'm gonna be on the streets next week anyway so just ring her now fucking ring it out i'll use this to evolve as a human just fucking ring it stop making threats and ringer that's so funny this one is so clutch

gave his number to every dude who asked for mine in the club clutch can you imagine yeah i can that happened to our boy yeah that happened to our boy he was communicating with next man for ages on a sweetheart thing that's on a wagwan beating embarrassing embarrassing they played and she had a back off i remember paying back but then she took it too far in third year

She got, she got boned. She got like weighty. I think she jumped on the pillow. I can't remember. She got big. I remember the last one, the last few times I saw her, I was like, Oh, what was, what was that alias again? Big booty Judy. Big booty. She actually, she was banging. She was banging. And she didn't have it from anyone.

True. I don't see, I don't remember seeing a single guy patting it. Fam, true. She was always with her gal. For three years. Just always with her gal, just chilling, happy. For three years, I didn't see a single guy patting it. I couldn't believe it. To the point where she had man playing off against each other. She was just giving off male numbers. For fun. Oh, you Jezebel. Do you know how nervous I would be to do that? She didn't give a fuck. Do you know how nervous I would be to do that? That's a breach of contract. That's something. You can't just be giving out numbers like that. I'll get found out immediately.

What a smart play. Told all her friends all the snaky shit she said about them to me. I even had photo evidence. Juicy.

Oh, bro. Juicy. That's justice is served. That's juicy content. That's justice is served. Wow. All the snaky shit. Girls say shit, bro. They do. Girls say shit. Girls are not for girls. Girls are the snakiest people ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They hate it. Fuck, it's jokes. They hate their brethrens. All of them. They've got a bad thing to say about all of their friends. 100%. 100%.

The man owed me money So I took his Nintendo Switch Fuck off Last one Went to this girl's house He was cheating on me with Beat the shit out of him She watched She beat the shit out of him She beat the shit out of him And the next thing watched And the next thing watched Just watched him get Tumped up He's lost two girls By his girl His ex-girl

His ex, oh, bro, just tummed him up and he just sat there. Just stop. Please stop. Stop. Sorry. Sorry. And then she walks out. And then afterwards, I look up and your new girl's like, peak. Yeah, leave. You're going to have to leave. Yeah, leave, leave, leave, leave. You're going to have to leave. Yeah, literally leave. Wow. Anyway, guys, that was the question of the day. Pettiest thing you've done after a breakup. Wow. We, that...

That's that's that milk ting bro could never could never could never could never don't make threats like that do not make threats Anytime someone threatens to involve your mom, you know, it's just beef beef. Yeah, let's not let's not let's not let's not Um, but anyway guys welcome guys. Welcome back episode 225. I believe um

Just real quick before we carry on, make sure you pause the episode right now. Head on over to patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs and gain yourself over now three years worth of content. Three years worth of content, an extra episode every Thursday and an official indoctrination into the S&G cult.

Facts. And that's a big deal, guys. It's a huge deal. £3. It's only going to cost you £3 a month. 10p a day. Run the P to SMG, guys. As always, guys, if you're watching on YouTube, please like the video if you like the video. Chirps the ting in the comments. Facts. Above all else, subscribe to the channel. Facts. And audio listeners, give us a nice little review. We really, really, really appreciate it. Five stars is preferable. But if you're feeling stush...

do it up whatever say what you want to say say how you say what you want to say as long as it's the truth say what you want to say that being said that's a lie because last week someone left a one-star review and it broke my heart to smithereens what did he say or what did they say was it just a star and no comment it was a star and a comment what was the comment it doesn't matter what the comment was let's just say that it doesn't matter what the comment was okay it just basically was like these men are overrated

Shut up already. Really? It's not that funny. Was this Apple? I think so. I read it. I was shaking. I was like, wow. Wow. Why would you do this? These men are overrated. Shut up already. Yeah.

Listen to me. Anonymous. It's not that funny. I was like, bro. Trigger, trigger, trigger. So let's try with the fives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lie to me. Yeah. Make me feel sexy. Apparently we need to be lied to. Make me feel sexy. Yeah, please do that, guys, because my soul can't take another week like that. That's hilarious. But anyway, guys, before any further ado, let's get Fuhad to hit us with some fun facts, please. Right.

Man who donated his mother's body to Arizona Center for Alzheimer's Research discovers it was sold to the U.S. military for $6,000, strapped to a chair and blown up in a blast test. Start that entire sentence again. Man who donated his mother's body to an Arizona Center for Alzheimer's Research discovered it was sold onto the U.S. military for $6,000, strapped to a chair and blown up in a blast test.

brother brother my eyes widened when i read that caption okay carry on read read the tape doris 73 died in hospice care following a several year battle with alzheimer's despite doctors saying she didn't even carry the gene for the disease medical medical officials feared the disease may have mutated and hoped to study her brain after her death but her neurologist was unable to accept her remains

Finally, her son settled on a biological resource center in Maricopa County and signed an agreement to donate Doris's brain to Alzheimer's research.

Days later, he received a wooden box labeled with his mother's ashes and an ID number, but it was later discovered it just contained the ashes of just her hand. Oh my God. The rest of her remains were sold to the US military, strapped into a chair and blown up in blast tests to study what happens to humans in cars whilst hit by IEDs. Let me get this straight. So my mum has been suffering for years with Alzheimer's. Years, brother. And I decide...

I can't, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I'm doing up research. How can I help with the Alzheimer's research? There's a, there's a center that takes in bodies and dedicates it to, to, to curing Alzheimer's. Yeah. They, they, they pick the brain. They want to figure out what's going on. Yeah.

Couple weeks later, I give you man a call and I'm saying, sorry, this might be a silly question, but I'm just so excited. Did you find anything in my mother's brain that might have been useful to your research? And these men say, who?

What's the name? Doris. My mum, Doris. My mum, Doris. I donated her body to you. I donated her body to you not too long ago. Yeah, like a few weeks ago. I don't know how long you keep them cool or chilled or whatever before you do research. Did you manage to do research? Did you find anything? Is there anything that we can do to help humanity? And be like, rah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Turns out we didn't actually, we got an influx this month. And there's only so much we can do before these things start to rot. Yeah.

The military were also after bodies and they donated six bags for your mum's body. And I don't know what they did with it. I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know what they did with it. But thank you for your donation because the six bags. I'm going to be like, I've got ashes. Yeah, fam. I've got ashes. You delivered ashes to my house. Yeah, that wasn't us. Pardon? Pardon?

It wasn't us. Who's us? Yeah, sorry. To reiterate, we didn't do that. We didn't send your mum's ashes to you. I don't know what this ID number is. And I'm not going to lie to you. There's a video that's circulating in the office. It's a bit morbid, but I don't know what your sense of humour is like. But there's a video circulating. I'll send you the link if you want. You have to send me the link. Send me the link. Cool. Beep, beep, beep. Sent.

This is test numbers. Three, two, one. I'm just in awe. Wow. I'm like, the thing is, I don't know what I'm watching. I'm getting back. What's this got to do with anything? What am I watching and what's this got to do with Doris? What's this got to do with Alzheimer's research? I'm so confused. I'm so confused. I'm just seeing explosions. Yeah, why are you sending me explosions? Is that the right link? Is that the right link? Yeah, that's your mum.

That's your mum. What do you mean that's my mum? I'm not going to lie to you. That's your mother. They're just blowing shit up over there. So if you got sent anything, I don't think you got... I don't think... If you got sent anything, you didn't get everything. Yeah, if you got sent anything, it definitely was not the whole ashes. How big is this box? Because it's probably like a ring holder size box. Just apparently was just her hand. The ashes of her hand.

James, I don't think you'd understand how many people I'll sue. I'm suing everyone. Because that is not acceptable. I'm suing everyone. Also, how dare you take the six grand? How dare you take the six grand? How fucking dare you take six grand? Run me the Alzheimer's Research Centre location right now because I'm pulling up. Yeah. I'm pulling up.

I need when I get there I want my six bags and interest my guy six bags interest and the rest of my mother's ashes I don't care how you find it

But this is not why I signed up for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you, man, and the military are taking the piss. You literally think you can do what you want. And the maddest thing about all of it is how could you accept the money? How? How are you shot in bodies? My mum's body. How dare you? Fam, the answer he will give is the answer you gave to us a few weeks ago on the pod. This is America. Yeah, fam. This is America.

This is America. This is America. This is capitalism. What do you mean I can't sell shit? The demand was high and this is what we needed. Fam? I do what I want. We needed money and we had bodies to shot. Why are you asking questions? This is America. Last time I checked, this is the US of A. And we like money over here, communists. Fuck. Because you're chatting to me like a communist. That's all I'm hearing at your mouth.

Go back to North Korea, my guy. Oh my goodness. Unless you're talking money to me. Come off my phone. Unless you got bodies or cake, come off my phone. Because we're set on complaints. We're set on Charlie's complaints. We've been getting complaints. We're set on complaints. Run me some bodies or run me some money.

Or get off my fucking phone. Fam, that's the wildest thing I've ever read. Yeah, that's insane. Like roleplay aside, that's the maddest thing I've ever read. How did they even let that become common knowledge? Like say that's okay to do. Fam, that was in 2019 I read. That's, that got, that definitely got buried.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That got buried, bro. Yeah, because I've only, that popped up on socials a few weeks ago. But then I read that the article was in 2019. Then I had to dig up the article to find out everything else. The only thing that I saw was this heading here. And I couldn't find anything else. So I had to dig up and find it. I was like, oh my goodness. That's fucking insane. That's insanity, bro. Can't they blow up something else? That's a blow up bodies.

I mean, nothing's ever going to be a replica. I know, but I'm pretty sure if we just put a mannequin in there, it's like, I'm pretty sure they'd die. It would do the same job. Because they use mannequins for car crash tests and stuff. Yeah, as soon as it blows up properly, we'll be like, I'm pretty sure. IEDs, James. Yeah, this is not. This ain't play play. Yeah. They're testing bombs out on dead people. Yeah, it's insane. That's crazy. That's an understatement. That's an understatement. I couldn't believe what I read. I couldn't believe what I read.

That was not fun, but it was a fact of the day. Yeah, that was a crazy fact. Crazy ass fact. You've got a thingy for me now. A question. Yeah. So... Yeah, my back's... Your back's doing bits. But not the bits that everyone says we're playing about. It's just cracking a lot. Cracking. Right. Scenario. And I'm annoyed because I'll use like... I'll use the United City, for example. So let's say... Let's say me and you went to...

The Derby, the Manchester Derby, the United City. Or let's say we go to the reverse because obviously we played at Etihad, we played away. Let's say we go to reverse. United versus City. Obviously, we just got tucked in 6-3 a few weeks ago. We need that. We need that revenge. Yeah.

So we've gone together. We're in, we're in, we're saying like the Stretford end or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And the game's going good and we are dominating possession. But you know what I'm like? Sometimes when I need to piss, I can't help it. I need to go. Yeah. But I'm just doing bits. I'm like, fuck, I'm gonna be back. Probably going to take me three minutes. A dip. But within those three minutes,

We score a banger. I can hear it from the toilet and I'm vexed. I can hear it from the toilet and I'm fucking vexed about it. But whilst I'm away, the whole stadium erupts. It erupts. You lose your mind because you don't know what to do. This is the first time you've been in this situation. You don't know what's going on. It erupts. And the person in front of you and the person beside you light up flares and start waving it around. What are you doing?

I'm sitting down for starters. I'm sitting down. I'm sitting the fuck down and I'm texting you stuff. I'm not receiving anything. You can't text in this stadium. Signals ain't doing nothing. I'm just sitting down scared, but not allowing anyone to know I'm scared. My scarf is getting tucked in. My scarf!

Fire hazard thing. Yeah, that's a hazard. My scarf's getting tucked in. And I'm pretending like I'm just relaxing. Yeah. But I'm like that. You're clenched. I'm flexed. And I'm constantly looking. I don't want you to know I'm looking for you. So I'm just like peeking the aisle, peeking the aisle, waiting for you to come. And as soon as you come, you'll be like, bro, what happened? What happened? I'm like, I don't fucking know.

I'd feel like a begrudge like girlfriend. Yeah, yeah. I don't fucking know what happened. Man are just waving fire at me. Get me out of here. Why did you bring me here? Why did you leave me? And why did you bring me here? They're waving fire at people Fuhat. Is this how you like to spend your spare time? Is this what you call fun? Some waste man kicked a ball in the net and all of a sudden we're throwing fire at people.

He nearly hit me straight in the fucking face. I can never come back to the seats and see you sat down in the corner edged up just waiting for me while everyone's cheering.

Bro, the Donnie Nixie will drag you up. Celebrate. I promise you. Drag you. Celebrate. I promise you he couldn't. I hate people forcing me to have fun. I hate family. When people score. Yeah, I know. Strangers become family when people score. You're not my boy. Don't touch me. Grabbing you and hugging you. Yeah. Grabbing you by the scarf. Nah.

Grab you by your fucking stuff. Get up and celebrate with the rest of us. No, no, no, no. Do you support City? Yeah. That's the first question. Do you support City? You're on edge now, James. You're like, where the fuck is Fuhad? Literally. Where's Fuhad? I promise you now.

I would pretend to have some kind of learning disability. No, you wouldn't. James, you wouldn't. That's too much stimulus for me that now. I wouldn't know what to say. James, you wouldn't. I wouldn't know what to say. So as soon as he drags me up, I will just go limp. But I won't break eye contact. That's why he knows not everything's all right. He'll pick me up and I'll go limp, but I'll stay staring at him. Help me. And I'll start doing stuff like that. Bare teeth to show it.

And he'll be like, oh, allow it, allow it, allow it. I promise you he wouldn't. He'll be gassed. He'll be gassed. Goals have been scored, James. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're still celebrating. Fam, can you imagine coming back, see some guy coming by the scruff of my scarf and I'm just pulling faces. Fam, obviously I'm going to have to scream for you. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. I'll be like, yo, what happened? But I can't break character. I'm like...

I'd be like, what the fuck happened? Why are you grabbing him? Wagwan, wagwan, that's my boy, Lawin, Lawin. Lawin, wagwan. - And you see me like. - And my man just says, oh yeah, they were throwing up flares and stuff. And I just wanted to celebrate with him, but he was sitting down. - He was sitting down, so I didn't know what's going on. I didn't know. You didn't know what? - I would burst out laughing. I'd fall to my knees. - I'll grab your, I'll break, I'll grab your wrist. - I know you would. - I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let him, I'll tell you in a minute.

I'll tell you in a minute. Stop, stop, stop. I'll tell you in a minute. And then once all that's gone, I'll be like, fam? Once it's settled down, yeah. Then I'll just give you the recap. I'm not going to lie. I wasn't paying attention. They were throwing fire at me. They were throwing fire directly at me. And I didn't know what to do. And then he asked me why I'm not celebrating. Obviously, you know I get vexed. He put his hands on me. Obviously, I'm ready to swing. I have to pick up. I'm ready to swing. Yeah.

But then he accused me of supporting City. And then this guy looked at me, this guy looked at me, this guy looked at me. That's what I'm looking at me. And then he picked me up like this. So my first thing was I had to play possum. I had to play possum. Otherwise, you know, I would have knocked all of them out. And I didn't want to do that. I would have given them all the death touch. So I would have given them all. I would have taken their heart out of their chest. I didn't want to do that. I don't want to ruin your day. So what I did was pretend I was the same one.

And then just so we didn't have to have that. Oh my God. You can never tell me that. That's what took place. You can never tell. We'd have to leave a half time. We'd have to leave a half time because I wouldn't be able to explain to these man. When we score again, I'm celebrating. And because I'm next to you now, you've you're comfortable. Yeah. And you celebrate with me. Let's go. You're cognitive. You're coherent. Let's go. You man.

And then everyone's looking like, I thought you... Swear down his... We'd have to leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd have to leave and I'll be banned for life because of you. Yeah, bro. I said I'd have to play posse. Sweetened me. Sweetened me. That's hilarious. Oh, my days. Oh, fucking hell. Right, you got a trash news now? I do have a trash news. It's a quick one. All right. Canadian high school says it's illegal to criticize and stop trans teacher who wears huge prosthetic breasts to school.

Students have been uploading pictures online and some have even been skipping classes to avoid the matter. The school board has defended the teacher and said it's a personal matter and they need to defend gender rights. What do you think? Can you see the titties? Oh dear. Those are outrageous. They're unnecessary. Let's be honest. They're unnecessary. Wow. They're unnecessarily big for the audio listeners.

They're at least a double G. They're even bigger than that. They're potentially a double H. They're the biggest meat melons I've ever seen. Bro, they're unnecessarily big. Like...

We're all for gender rights and everything, but there is no need to have. No bra. Tees that big. No bra. The nipples are just poking. Yes. And you're meant to be a teacher. Yeah. You're so distracted. Yeah. So confused. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? But yeah. But at the same time, if you're the principal, what are you actually going to say? Do not get me wrong. The principal has to do. I don't want that smoke. He doesn't want that smoke. But as the teacher. Yeah.

If I'm that teacher, I know I don't need to have my titties that big. I know that for a fact. Yeah, you do. I know that for a fact. Yeah, I would assume... Yeah, I don't know, bro. But it's just like, fuck, I don't know. I think anyone can convince himself of anything. True, but it's like... Because in their head, they're thinking...

Women do technically have titties this big. Don't get me wrong. I know that. So if these were my natural titties, then what are you going to tell me? Yeah, but they're not. Yeah, but they could be. That's the whole point. I know. Don't get me wrong. I know that. I know that. And tell me that they're not again.

And I'll accuse you of being transphobic. True. Just say it again. Yeah, true. If you're the head teacher, it's long. The head teacher doesn't want that smoke. He's in his office. If I get another comment about this tea trap. If one more parent rings me about these teas. I'm going to lose my mind. I've got nothing to say about them. What do you want me to do? Literally, what do you want me to do?

Fuck, man. They are a distraction. Oh, they're incredibly distracting. She's trying to do up woodwork in there. Woodwork? That's a hazard. She's doing up sharp class and her breasts are just on the wood. They're dangling on the wood. Yeah, yeah.

Let's put a bra on a satin. Let's be reasonable. Because your nipple is bursting through the top. The sweater. Bro, sweater, that's thick material. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a distraction. Yeah, let's compromise. That's all we can do, compromise. Let's actively compromise. And I think the only person that can compromise is her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's the only one going to do it. Like, if I'm the head teacher, what am I going to say? What am I actually going to say? I promise you I don't want that smoke. Oh, definitely don't want that smoke. I don't... Yeah, I don't want that smoke. Because I would literally, like...

I would probably talk to the parents candidly. After I've got like seven, eight calls, I talk to the parents like with facts and be like,

What would you have me say? Literally, what would you have me say? Well, tell her that. Cool. You tell her that. And see how far it goes. See where it goes. See where it takes you. There's going to be people picketing outside. And I'm not here for it. I'm just not here for it. I'm just trying to chill, bro. I'm a head teacher. Yeah. I've got a reputation. I've got a reputation. I don't want to lose my job. I don't want this smoke. I don't want this smoke. I'm inclusive. Yeah. I don't want this smoke. I'll literally be there. It's just titties at the end of the day.

If they're causing anyone problems, it's her. It's her. Facts. Her back is killing her. Her back is fucked. She's more vexed about it than you are. Trust me. Trust me. She wouldn't do this to herself intentionally, but she did. She wouldn't do it to herself intentionally. Don't make me repeat myself. So what would you have me do? If you're paying for the reduction surgery, it's all good. Until then, get off my phone. Get off my fucking phone.

The repeat sweetened me. She didn't do this intentionally. Sweetened me. Fucking hell, that's jokes. Wow, that's an interesting one. I think I saw that picture. I must not read shit. Because the amount of stuff you've brought to the table that I've just never taken further is mad. I just don't read stuff. Speaking of, did you see the, like, what was it? The...

balenciaga runway ting the other day on the mud on the mud i think i saw that today actually yeah i only saw that today this morning yes the thing with um high fashion they actually take the piss i feel like

them like balenciaga all these autumn winter summer spring whatever runway things they do i think as a group every year they come together and see how can we take the piss this year yeah what can we do like did you see them i think they were balenciaga as well the um slippers that were um water bottles no i did not you didn't see them no no no the slippers with the the ting in the middle here where you in between your your big toe and your finger you put your thing in

It's a water bowl and the top of it is the screw cap like this. The top of it is this and it's a fucking flipper. For what reason? Exactly. This is what I'm saying. These men have a fucking cult type thing. Like a fucking Illuminati type thing for fashion. And they see how they can take the piss out of the common public every single year. Bro, this is why I'm happy because we get invited to do a lot of shit. I'm happy we don't get invited to do this stuff.

I saw one thing the other day where Bella Hadid was getting their spray paint. I saw that, yeah. Fam, I'm not going to lie. If I was there, because it took a couple of minutes. Yeah, yeah. Because you have to spray anything. You have to dry it. You have to walk. Fam, after a minute, I'll be like, this is boring. The whole thing is boring. What's the ROI on this? Because the dress looks shit.

Who's No one's buying this No like Let's be honest It's not even for purchase At this point It's just for what It's for show Yeah it's just It's literally just for show Literally for what I don't understand I don't understand this This culture I don't understand any of this I actually don't understand The fashion show culture Yeah bro I remember I remember obviously My girlfriend Back in the day Was a designer And she used to Ask me to go to like Her runway stuff And

It was the most boring. What did it entail? Just the same shit like it is now? Just runway stuff. Just stuff that they designed off a theme. Everyone would have their own theme and they're supposed to interpret it in fashion. Yeah. It was the most boring. I just don't get it, man. Runways, fashion runways don't make sense. Unless it's like...

Like bikini Victoria's Secret type thing Because you know You're actually buying What you see Yeah You know But whereas all these Like Balenciaga Whatever All these other ones I see some clothes And thinking No one is actually Going to buy and wear this No one will ever own this No one will I don't know why I'm looking at this Nobody It looks disgusting Yeah

Who are we fooling? But yeah, this walking around in mud thing, that's a joke. And they're walking around like that. They literally walk around hunched over. Like this. And I'm like, what are we doing here, bruv? This is not fashion. This is boring. This is bullshit. And it's silly. And it's freezing here. It would be chapping. Yeah, it's freezing here, guys. Because it's always in an abandoned spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, it's fucking freezing. What are we actually doing? It just doesn't make sense. It just doesn't. I hate it.

Certain fashion shows Not that I watch them But when I see them on socials I'm like Why are we doing this? Who am I explaining? Because when I see stuff like that I always think If I'm a spectator What am I explaining to someone When I get home?

Or when I turn up to work on Monday and they're like, what did you do the weekend? I went to some fashion show thing. Oh, how was it? It was calm. It was like, like they'd sell, even if I was into it, they'd be like, oh, it was actually sick. Like they'd sell up. They had this like whole like mud and like muddy track. And they just like made it soaking wet and slippy. So all the models, when they're walking around, they like proper, I had to like traipse through the mud. And you're like, oh, I'm just there looking. You're talking to gas. I'm just looking at you like sus.

Sauce. Sounds like you had a shit weekend. Yeah, what's the point? So why was it muddy? Oh, just to be different. Yeah, but why though? Like, why mud? Like, what's... Did it have something... No, it had nothing to do with nothing, bro. It was just muddy. And where were you? Oh, I was like on the side. Like, it was muddy there too.

And you were just down? How long was this thing? Two hours? You watched people walk in the mud for two hours? That's what you're telling me. This was your weekend? Yeah. This is what you do for fun? Safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Safe. You're a joke. You're a joke and we can't be boys anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're pathetic, actually.

It's just long bro This is the dumbest shit I've heard It's just long You shouldn't speak to me like this Like this This is the dumbest thing I've heard It's long Random, random, random I'm going to do a mind the asshole after this Okay I saw the worst movie the other day With the best cast Okay Fam, it was an Amazon original Okay Amazon are not doing themselves any favours with this bullshit I couldn't believe what I was witnessing

Before you continue, sorry to cut you off. I saw a trailer for a movie coming out called Amsterdam. Star studded cast. Swear? Swear to fuck down. I'll check it out. You have to check it out. You have to check it out. Star studded. I'll check it out. But yeah, continue. I watched two shit movies actually. On the same day. Both on Amazon. Same day? No, across two days. If you watch back to back. I would have killed myself. I would have to jump.

Because what am I doing choosing these movies? I watched two shit movies. The first shit movie, it wasn't the star-studded one, was Beast, the Idris Elba movie. I saw that. I rented it. I spent £15 sterling on this dog shit movie. You're pissed. I watched it at my sister's last month and they just streamed it. They found a site. I'm going to have to do a fire-sitting or satin because I paid £15 hard-earned for this dog shit movie. Yeah, it was av.

dog shit it was basically fucking jaws it was jaws in africa yeah yeah is what it was jaws on acid in africa yeah they exploded a car and the ting got a couple burns on it yeah yeah what we do what we on about it would have blown up into literal pieces yeah yeah dumbest movie

Dumbest movie. Terrible acting. And no offense, Idris. I hate his American accent. No offense, Idris. I hate your accent, brother. No offense, Idris. Your American accent's terrible. Your accent has fallen off. Stop it. Stop it. You've gone from being on The Wire. The Wire? These men didn't know for years that you were English. No one knew for years you were English. This accent was god awful. This coupled with the American accent he did in The Office.

I've been the worst two accents I've ever seen you do Idris. Yeah. Bro, Idris, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm disappointed. Lock it up. Have you seen, he's done a music video not too long ago with his missus in it. I don't want to see that. Bro, it's like, Idris, why, what sort of adventure are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fam,

Get off the decks for five minutes. Five minutes. And work on your craft. Focus. Yeah, literally. Idris. Participate. Focus. Fucking participate. Because you're an actor. Yeah, you're a big man. You're an actor. These men are talking about you doing up James Bond. Brother. And these times you're doing up Jaws in Africa with a terrible American accent. Focus, man. Terrible. Absolutely. The whole thing was a joke. Even that. No offense. The acting wasn't great either. It's a good thing he thought it wasn't in it.

His real daughter was cussing about not being in it. Did her a favor. Did her a secret little favor. It's not a good movie, man. Beast is terrible. Sorry, guys. It's absolutely terrible. The second terrible movie I watched was a movie called something like Don't Worry, You Can't Get Far On Foot. I've never heard of that. Brother, listen to who's in this movie, please. Don't Worry, You Can't Get Far On Foot. You Can't Get Far On Foot. Okay.

Joaquin Phoenix. Okay. Jonah Hill. Okay. Jack Black. Okay. And the other guy, I can't remember her name. She's in Bear movies. She's in, I'm pretty sure, do you remember the Tom Cruise movie where he keeps going back in time every time he dies or something like that?

They're like fighting aliens and shit. Yes, I do. The Tomorrow War, I think it's called or something like that. Tomorrowland or something like that. Yeah, I know exactly the movie you're talking about. And the girl in that. I can't remember who she is though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember the movie, but I can't remember what the girls look like. Anyway, her, Joaquin Phoenix, Jack Black and Jonah Hill. That's how it started. Bam, I was scrolling through Amazon. I see that Amazon original. I see all these faces on the thing. I was like, holy shit. Let's go. I've never even heard of this movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got...

winners on here academy award winners let's go how have i not heard this movie i pressed play immediately i was like these men are playing with me yeah yeah yeah when did it come out i didn't i didn't bother to check okay i didn't even finish it if you had oh i got three quarters of it got tired turned off never went back to it oh swear worst fucking movie ever swear it's so shit what's the premise i was begging they were telling me it's a true story because i was thinking there's nothing that can be this shit that's not based on true events and

There's got nothing to lean on. But maybe it is, but I didn't say it. It's based on an alcoholic guy who gets in a car accident and is paralyzed, basically from like the chest down. So his arms move, but like a little bit. Okay, who plays him? Joaquin Phoenix, bro. Joaquin Phoenix is the lead. Okay. And yeah, basically he is, it's his thing about kind of getting over alcoholism and what it's like to be a quadriplegic. The whole thing was just dead for him.

halting was damn jonah hill played a fantastic gay man i'm not gonna lie jonah hill did wonderfully jack black was in it for four and a half seconds he probably made 10 mil facts for a little little cameo it was pointless the whole film was pointless i've never felt so betrayed oh that's i'm not i don't think it's clickbait i've ever experienced i've not seen a bad movie like that in a while bro what um no no apart from

No, I don't think I've seen a film that bad in a while. That was terrible. Especially with like a star-studded cast. That was worse than Beast. Yeah. Especially because it's got a star-studded cast as well. Beast was dog shit. Beast was dog shit. It's not the best movie. I didn't, I didn't expect much. Neither did I. Sunday night, little. A little bit of action. Little home entertainment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let me just feel something before we get into our Monday mornings. Yeah. Nothing. It was a worse experience.

it's the fucking worst experience uh sorry g so real quick before we get onto your thread i um have a i've realized who the smartest man in the world is who liver king okay the thing i don't know much about the breader but i only see his face on um snap because you know they've got snap stories on the thingy so i see i always see his figure there he's always there he's

He's wham and he's lying to everyone. He's obviously on steroids. Of course he's on steroids. He denies it forever. Profusely. Which he has to kind of because he does supplements and all that stuff. His alias is Liver King or whatever. So basically Liver King, if you don't know, super famous guy at the minute who basically just promotes this very like...

old school lifestyle lifestyle he eats a lot of fucking raw organs bro he eats a lot of raw organs i've actually never seen him eat one i've seen him eat a lot i've not seen him fam one time i saw him fam one time yeah one time he took it too far on tiktok he took it too far okay he got a fish

and squeezed out their eggs out of the pom into his mouth. I've never seen anything more disgraceful in my life. I was like, all right, bro, that's just too much. The thing is, when you said fish, I didn't even know what you were going to say. He got the pom and was just like, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. Bare caviar in his mouth. Bro, it was like...

Bro. Yeah, there's levels to it. And that's just not necessary. Put it in a bowl and spoon it. He must never throw up. Oh, bro. His gag reflex is mad. He's had a time in his life. That's all I know. He's had some stuff. But anyway, the reason he's so smart. Well, the reason the con. What's that fluff? It's gone.

How long has that been there? I don't know. I literally just noticed it. I hope just now. I just noticed it. You had fluff in your hair a few weeks ago and I couldn't see it because on that side, the comments were blowing up. The comments were blowing up. How the fuck did he not tell Fua that he's got fluff in his hair? The whole episode. That's jokes. Anyway, so yeah, Liver King is a little marketing genius because basically he's on a ridiculous amount of gear, obviously, and he's

But no one can, he obviously denies being on gear, but no one can definitively prove that he's not on gear. Okay. Because no one is willing to do what he does to prove it. Yeah.

Facts. That makes sense. That makes perfect sense. The only way people can prove that he's not on gear is to eat how he eats and live how he live for multiple years and then be like, look at me. He's on gear, bro. He's on gear, bro. Because I've done it for three years and I've been eating liver for years. And I'm throwing up.

I'm throwing up. I've been in hospital four times. I stay in hospital. I've got health concerns. This is not a sustainable way of life. He's injecting himself regularly. He's lying to us. He's injected testosterone and eating roast dinners like the rest of us. Roast dinners.

Because liver king is bullshit. Yeah, facts. But no one's willing to do it. Yeah, I never thought about it that way. He stays eating liver and balls, bro. Jesus. Raw balls. Why, man? I don't know why because he just says it's good for you but like it's not. It can't be. I mean, if he's living, he's obviously living this like primal life and if you actually look at the animal kingdom, that's how they live and...

He's an alpha. And let's say he's like, if you relate him to like a lion, a leopard, a tumor, whatever. That's how these men eat. It is. That's how these men eat. It's how they eat. And that's what I'm saying, bro. I'm sure there's a lot of validity to the stuff he's saying. I'm also sure he injects a lot of testosterone into his bum. Because he's too blocked out. He's wham and shredded and he's in his 40s for real. Yeah, he's too blocked out not to be on site. He's wham and shredded. He's in his 40s. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. He makes a

money as well i'm not surprised i'm not surprised he makes money i'm not surprised i haven't listened to it but i saw a thumbnail of him on a podcast i've listened to him on a few podcasts there's another one that come out the title was how he makes 100 million a year excuse me how liver king makes 100 million a year i know his supplements do bits wow he owns supplements that he sells he owns his own supplement brand that he sells probably just powdered liver and stuff

It's just powdered liver. I think. That's jokes. He makes millions. Wow. When did he start off? Do you know? I don't know anything. I do actually know. Oh, gang, hit me. So basically, he actually started off as a normal business guy. Okay. Was he always into gyming and bodybuilding and stuff? I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was. Yeah.

He's always been into bodybuilding and that kind of stuff. He actually owned like a dental surgery and some other businesses and stuff like that. He had cake. Okay. He had cake. No fame, just cake. Okay. And then he adopted this primal lifestyle, he said, because his kids, both of his kids were suffering with like breathing issues. Oh, wow. And they were on all these medications and all these anti-allergens and all this stuff. And he basically was like doing research and was like, this is no way to live.

your life. Like my kids can't breathe. My kids are little kids. They can't breathe. They're on drugs. There are multiple drugs. It's not normal. So they completely flip the way they live their life. Now they live this primal life and like it's healed his kids and all that kind of stuff. Oh, the kids eat primal as well? His whole family does it, bro. Not just him. He calls his wife Liver Queen. He never uses her name and it's infuriating. Oh, wow.

He always calls her liver queen. I want to punch him when I see him do it. It infuriates me. What's her actual name? I don't know. No one knows. He just calls her liver queen. Oh my goodness. Fuck. And then, yeah, so he lives like that. Even at night, they turn off all the electricity in the house. Fucking hell. To stay away from like all the waves and them ting-dang. Oh, why? He keeps all the electricity off in his house. Oh, wow. He lives on this massive ranch and stuff like that. I'm not surprised. He's got cake, bro. So,

so um yeah and then basically he started doing content about living like this way and just eating raw liver on tiktok and shit and now he's got that yeah he's famous famous now he's crazy famous i promise you now i how many years has he got two years i think he's got two boys yeah two boys i can never be one of his sons and try and invite one of my friends over to my yard yeah it's not because what are we actually eating like what kind of what am i telling my friends that i eat for dinner

Oh, raw liver, bro. Because my dad's the liver king. They're not coming over. Yeah. And they'll be like, what does your dad do for work? My dad's the liver king. Pardon? Yeah. He eats like raw shit and just makes bags. He just makes money. I mean, he lives on this fuck off massive ranch. Yeah. I don't know what else he does, but that's. I don't know what he does. I just see him eat liver and run and stuff. Run and take videos. Yeah. He's always shooting stuff. He's always shooting stuff. But yeah, his kids don't go to school. His kids are homeschooled.

Makes sense. It does make sense. It makes perfect sense. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Perfect sense. Yeah, he's like a marketing genius for that. So I'm on like a big like... I'm obsessed with business stuff at the minute. I know you are. Oh, bro. I'm balls deep. Gang. I can't...

My obsession with certain things is concerning. When I'm into something, I'm fucking obsessed with it for like years. That's how I was with jujitsu. And if I went back to jujitsu, it would happen again. I need to stop. Like when I get into something, I'm ballsy into it. So right now, the content that I'm digesting because they're like...

at the very peak of their like influence and like fame. There's a guy called Alex Hormozy who is like a very successful business person who does a lot of content and is very transparent about the way he does business and sales and makes money and his concepts on money and his concepts of all these other things. Binge his stuff. MrBeast is doing a runner podcast at the minute. Over the last week, I've probably listened to like nine hours of MrBeast talking. God.

I've just been binging his stuff. That's so crazy because I was, like I said to you before, we were in Nando's earlier. You mentioned Mr. Beast and I was like, I was actually thinking about on the drive down here. I want to watch more of his stuff. Bro, the thing is as well is I actually only really realized this the other day is like someone made a, it was actually the Alex Mosey guy made a really, really powerful comment that was like, oh, this is actually facts that people don't like appreciate. Like when people say like,

he's basically talking about like the concept of being like the greatest of all time. So if someone wants to be the greatest of all time, a lot of people like they, they have a competitive aspect and they, they compare themselves to the people before them. So their job is to be like, oh, I'm going to be better than this person. I'm going to be better than that person. You can look at your growth and be like, oh, by the time,

i'm his age or the batama at this point or he's been doing youtube for four years by the time i've been doing youtube for four years bro i'm gonna be like flying past him yeah yeah yeah um makes sense people forget that the only reason you are able to do that is because of that person so like mr beast like famously says that he he when he was coming up he's he was talking he made like four friends or whatever was a group of like four of them and they would speak for hours every day

only about YouTube for a thousand days. And once he'd done that, he took all the information he learned and implemented into his videos. And now he just speaks openly about all the stuff that he learned and how to make good stuff. So like,

it makes sense that if someone is, he's the best YouTuber on the planet. So if he is willing to share all of his information, why would you not listen to all of it, implement it yourself and then fast track your success. And it's not because you're better than Mr. Beast, it's because without him, you would have to do what the fuck he did. So it's like,

people like people i feel like some people don't even like digest like the same like you know they're saying like they paved the way yeah they laid the foundation literal the literal definition of paving the way is doing the hard work so that the people after you don't have to do it facts so when there's people at the top of their game like i'm obsessed with like people who are like smashing it in their respective areas because it's like well i'll just listen to everything you say because you've already done it and then when

when it's my turn, I can just implement it and I'll just get there faster. And I used to struggle, not struggle, but I used to...

do the same thing which i'm embarrassed of now is that when we were starting off i used to look at people that i've been doing it and i'll be like oh they've got this many subs and they've been doing it for this year they're like four years whatever by the time we've been doing it for four years we'll have way more subs than that it's like yeah but the four years that they've been doing they didn't have anyone they didn't have themselves to look at and be like this yeah yeah and same thing now that we've been doing it for three years and we do us a certain we'll do the way that we do things it's done a certain way now yeah people look at us and be like

bro, they've got this many followers. They got this much. I'm just going to do what they do. And then they'll do it. And they'll be looking at us and be like, bro, they've got 5 million followers now. Bro, by the time I've been doing it for three years, I promise you're going to have more than 5 million. But it's like, when we started doing it, I didn't have anyone else to copy. I had to do it the shitty way and learn for fucking years how to do it properly. No one else. Whereas if I had someone

who was, if I, if there was a podcaster at the time that was similar to us who was doing this kind of content on social media, then I could have looked at them on day one and be like, bro, these men have this many followers. Let's just do what they do. And then edit in a similar way and understand what the storytelling and understand the things that do well. And we speak openly about it anyway. So it's like, they could just listen to us and copy us and then

bang but we didn't have that so I had to do it for fucking years to figure out how to do it and now we've got there there's going to be people after us that will go way further than us way faster but that's the point yeah true innovation that is literally the point it's not even competition that's the fucking point of doing it you pave the way so that other people can just walk it so yeah

I've been digesting Alex or Mosey for guys who care. Really, really interesting. MrBeast, obviously, if you're interested in content creation in any facet, listen to what this guy has to say because he's like learned about it for years and is willing to share. Living Gang I find interesting because he's just like a weird guy who makes a fuck ton of money. He's a guy who's

Put himself in a very, very, very unique marketing position. Very niche. And has capitalized it incredibly well. Yeah. And I just find that fascinating. I'm sure there's other people that are... Ali Abdaal.

ali abdul is an interesting one as well i've listened to his stuff for years he's a good one um he's not i wouldn't say he's at the height he's not at the pinnacle of what he does but he is um very open about like money in the way he does money and what he's done it's a nice like insight to see someone who's very very transparent yeah super transparent which is helpful for someone who's a few steps ahead of you um but yeah bro i just find all that stuff so fascinating okay

so fascinating i'm balls deep gang god i can't get enough of it i can't get fucking enough of it anyway you've got a thread for us today yeah so i'm gonna wrap this episode up with a thread i found on twitter i think i found it the other day actually and it's actually pretty jokes so the thread is it's a short one what's the scariest and very british four-word horror story you can think of you'll get the context when i start reading okay responses

First one, everyone get into pairs. That's jokes. That's jokes. Bro, in primary, secondary school times. All right, everyone get into pairs. My heart's beating, brother. Bro, my heart's beating, brother. And the thing is as well, you have one chance. Literally. If you go to pick someone and they say, sorry, I've got a partner. By the time you turn around, everyone's got a partner.

And you're just there with the lonesome kid with the glasses in the back. You're vest. Or it's an odd number you have to, oh, you can pair with a teacher today. Yeah, you're with, oh, don't worry, James, you're with me today. You're with me today. Embarrassing. Because you are the scapegoat doing it up for the class. You're doing up demos. Yeah, you are. And you don't even know what you're doing. You are the class scapegoat. Fuck! That's brutal. Everyone get into pairs. That is terrifying. That's terrifying. All right, so now you know the gist of the thing now, yeah? No, no, no, no, no, no. Can I call you? Your lip quivered! Ha ha!

Your lip quivered, James. I've never... Every time a female has sent me that message, my heart's been pounding. Heart palpitations. Can I call you? No kiss, nothing. Can I call you? Palpitations. It's unnecessary. Just bell me. Don't even... Literally just bell me. Don't anticipate all these things. Just bell me. I ain't got time for that. Let's all introduce ourselves. And the group tea. Oh my God. Who had...

Say your name and say a fascinating fact about you. Fuck you, bro. Oh, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Oh, fam, when I've had to do like group interviews and stuff before. What's your name? Tell us an interesting fact. Tell us an interesting fact about yourself. I hate it here. Yeah, that's interesting fact. This is what, this is the interesting, I hate it here. My name is James and I hate it here. Imagine. Imagine.

Oh, again, I would love to be a fly on the wall. If that means rags, bro, that would be hilarious content. My name is James and I hate it here. This one triggered me. Rail replacement bus service.

Brother? My secondary school days. Oh, I can imagine. Bus service. Rail replacement. Rail replacement in Essex, Dagenham side, is a best take. Because the district line is on the weekend. If there's rail replacement on any line on the weekend, 100% is the district line. 100%. And that's the only line in my mum's ends. Because obviously there's loads of areas where there's multiple lines wherever you stop.

It's only district, brother. And it's only district for another four stops. So you got even, bro. That used to be me. That used to be me when I used to travel home on weekends and I needed to get back to Cov. Northampton to Cov, we're literally talking like 45 minutes on the train, 40 minutes on the train. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, bro, I'd rock up to Northampton station.

big sign railroad placement buses and they're doing all the stops oh yeah rags they are they used to drive from from Northampton to Long Buckby which is like 20 minutes from there to Rugby and a young Nuneaton thing as well and a young Nuneaton and then you'd have to get off at one of them and then get the train to Cov I knew bro I wasn't getting back to Cov till midnight

Live it. Bro, it's the worst thing in the world. Fucking live it, bro. It's the worst thing in the world. Live it, bro. I used to come in there on a Sunday and dash my bag down. Every man's just playing up FIFA, doing it, just bare warm. Bare fucking warm. I used to hate it if you had. Jokes. All right, another one. Is this seat taken on a public transport ting?

I always love to keep my bag next to me. Yeah, my bag has to stay there. My bag or something. Or I'm just edged up on the side like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm elongated. Is this seat taken? Fam? Yes. Obviously, yes. Obviously, I don't want anyone to sit here. It's taken by my personal space. Don't move. Yeah. Basically. Move. Bro, so frustrating. Oh, God. Still on for tonight? Oh, fam. That's...

That's the worst one to send. Oh, rags. That's the worst one to send. Rags, rags, rags, rags, rags, rags. And you don't get a reply for hours. She's cancelled, she's cancelled, she's cancelled. Still on for tonight? Cancelled and I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed that he even had to ask because we've not spoken all day. Bro, do you know what the worst one is?

I'm going to be sick. I'm like, oh, I'm actually going to be sick. Hit me. You message them. Still good for tonight. Yeah. Question mark. You don't get, she, she reads it. You know, she's reading. You see her come online. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Comes offline. Yeah. Double take. She comes offline. You don't hear from her for an hour. And then you get a voice note back. She's made plans. She's tried to get out of it. Voice note back.

and you're like you know it's an explanation she's justifying her lies and she's sent a voice so it sounds more believable and she's like oh i'm so sorry you're never gonna believe it babe it's always babe babe you're never gonna believe what guan shut your filthy little mouth just tell me you hate me yeah it's easier it's easier fucking hell

I would literally rather than reply like, yuck, no. Sit on for tonight? Yuck, no. I'll be like, oh, I swear. James, I'm not going to lie to you. I couldn't receive that. I'm not going to lie to you. Run me that voice though, because I couldn't receive that. Yuck, no. I couldn't look at you man the same again. I couldn't look at you man the same again. Oh God, imagine. Yuck, no. God, no. James. Because that's in a group chat now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rags, rags, rags, rags, rags. Fuck. Fuck.

arrive early for networking that's my worst nightmare i've never received that message and i pray i never do arrive early for networking for networking fam i remember this is this is this is how london to me is bizarre yeah bizarre i remember one time i went to oh this is one of those days where i had to do the stand up and say something interesting

I went to an open day. Not an open day. An assessment day. Okay. Basically a massive group interview. Okay. Fucking hell. Okay. All day. Oh God. In London. Travel down all day in London for this job thing. Oh God, it was the worst day of my life. But anyway, I got talking to some girl before we went in. Do you have your name badge and everything? Yeah, they give you a sticker with your name badge. Hi, I'm James. Fucking bullshit, bro. Hi, I'm James.

Nah. Fucking bullshit. Nah. I literally wanted to kill myself. The only thing that kept me there was that I was too embarrassed to just walk out. Oh, facts. I know. I know. I was too embarrassed to just walk out. I was too embarrassed to just walk out.

Otherwise I would have been gone. - I know. - Anyway, before it started, I was talking to this girl and then she was just asking about what this or that and she was struggling to get a job and all that. She was like, "Yeah, I've been going to networking parties." And I was like, "Pardon?" She was like, "Yeah, I just go to these network parties. They're super helpful." I was thinking, first of all, they're obviously not because you're here. - You're here. You're in the same place as me. - And you've been doing them plural. - Oh God. - And she was like, "Yeah, they're actually not too bad. You go there, you network." And I remember saying to her, "Stop saying network."

Just stop, I hate that word. Stop saying network. You're pissing me off. Get there early to network, a networking party. - Yo, that's dead. - What are we doing? We're just meeting strangers. - Just meeting strangers and talking, exchanging numbers. - What do you do? - All day, all evening. - For what reason? - To network, networking party. - Because if I need a job filled, if I'm a boss and I need a job filled, why am I going to a network party?

I'll just hire someone. Facts. I'm not like the only people who are networking parties are people who need to network, who don't have a network. So we're all just bad people without networks. So this network party might pay off in seven years when everyone else has succeeded. And then we want to use these connections we've made. But at the moment, this foundation, we're all losers. Yeah.

so why am i here she's been to several networking parties they're a really big help they're not because you're here with me dead worst day of my life this one for me it's gone to penalties it's gone to penalties stress as per my email

Bro. As per my email. Fight me. Car park. Literally, car park. Because that's a threat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a threat or a dismissal. One of them. Let's say let's say let's car park, car park, car park. I'm not even reading the rest. Car park. Car park in 10. Car park in the subject. Not even a car park. No, no body. No body. Just subject. Car park. Car park. Explanation, explanation, explanation. Car park.

She would be rattled. He or she. Fam, what do you mean? I'm not replying. I'm just saying car park again. Car park, car park, car park, car park, car park. Jokes. Oh, God. Last one. Will you marry me? Jesus Christ.

scariest horror story i fear for the people who ask that question and not know what the answer might be they're they're in the wrong relationship yeah they're in their own relationship a hundred percent they're in their own world they're in their own world and they are willing to risk everything to take it to the next level everything to take it to the next level wow god damn it that was a really good one yeah that pears one everyone get into pears nightmare

heart palpitations james i do you know when i used to fucking hate that in uni because it was always me you and rem it was always three of us yeah and i remember there's a few times we i i just said i'm not i'm not leaving i remember i remember i used to just say well we've got a three oh yeah because it was also dems and saucy they were together they were together and then and it was always jemma and that vicky

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And it was Wolf Br'er and Cattle. Yeah! Wolf Br'er, Cerebral P! Oh my days, yeah. And it was... Wolf Br'er. What was the brother that killed someone? Pardon? The Black Br'er, what's his name? Pardon? The Black Br'er. Do you remember the Black Br'er in our class? He never came back because he stabbed someone. Because they fought his cousin or something like that. Do you remember his name? The Black Br'er in our class, bro. The fan...

I think I remember his face, but God knows I don't remember his name. I feel like his name began with C. God knows I don't remember his name. Was he African? Yeah. Yeah. I remember his face. One all over. Yes, I remember his face. No shape up. Yeah. It was probably Kenyan or something. I remember his face.

But his name, James? I'm pretty sure he stabbed someone. Oh my God. Why you got a memory on you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot he existed. And he was always alone. So I was like, it's either I'm staying in my three or I'm pairing up with him and I promise you it's not that latter. I promise you it's not that latter. That's joking. So yeah, I used to say, we're a three. And it just depended if the teacher was willing to die on his heel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say it one time with chess, we're a three.

That's just it. Yeah, and eventually they'd have to learn. They just know that we come as a trio. Because I'm not doing up pairs with some random potential future murderer. I'm not going to do it. Facts. Richard. Oh, there was another brother called James in our class as well. I remember. The rugby brother? Yeah. Wait, was his name James? Yes. 100% there was another brother called James. Who was the James? I don't know. I remember Adam. I remember Adam. No, 100%. There was another brother called James in our class. I'm pretty sure Adam used to snort alcohol off bars.

Oh my God, yes he did. When everyone spilled a drink on the bar, he would snort up. And he laughed and giggled off. He laughed. Wet face, just laughing. I was like, say less. You were a bit different. We were in class with delinquents. Yeah, Rugby Liam. He looked like Hagrid.

Let's wrap this bitch up. Yeah, sorry guys. We're going down some memory lane. That's not even relevant to you, man. But yeah. Anyway, guys, thank you so much for today. As always, guys, head on over to patreon.com forward slash shit and gigs. Get yourself some extra episodes. And as always, guys, see you next time. Love, love, love.

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