cover of episode Knowles Failed: Try Not To Laugh At Kamala Harris

Knowles Failed: Try Not To Laugh At Kamala Harris

Publish Date: 2024/8/3
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But this sacred task, it's not about me. It's about Kamala Harris. Kamala Harris is the presumptive nominee for the remaining 100 some odd days in the 2024 presidential race. So we have dug up some of Kamala's most soaring orations to give you a little glimpse into a woman who could be president. We've been to the border. So this whole thing about the border, we've been to the border. We've been to the border. You haven't been to the border.

And I haven't been to Europe. I don't understand the point that you're making. Kamala does this thing where she just repeats the same sentence like seven times because she doesn't have that much to say because she doesn't really know anything. So she'll just, she has her line and she'll repeat it seven times. And this is very awkward when the line is not true. We have been to the border. We have been to the border. Lester, we have been to the border. Lester, why are you? We have been to the border. Have you been to the border though? No. No.

What's your point? What are you talking about? Not a good start. I think that, to be very honest with you, I do believe that we should have rightly believed, but we certainly believe that certain issues are just settled. Certain issues are just settled. Clearly we're not. No, that's right. And that's why I do believe that we are living, sadly, in real unsettled times. Is this some kind of sick joke?

Whenever someone says, to be honest with you, I'm going to be honest with you, let me be honest with you, that person is admitting that they are not regularly honest with you. You calling me a liar? I ain't calling you a truther. The words that Kamala Harris utters

Don't even rise to the level of speech. They're just sounds that vaguely resemble speech. So me think, why waste time? Say lot word when few word do trick. You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? You exist in the context.

Of all in which you live and what came before you. This is actually a good point. This is the first good point I think I've ever heard Kamala Harris make. And she makes it in a way that's bizarre and off-putting and ridiculous. You think you fell out of a coconut tree? But the point she's making is that we are born into a family, into a community, into a country, in a society that exists in history as

in which we practice traditions and rituals, we don't just appear out of the ether. We're not just atomized individuals who pop into existence in a cloud somewhere or even outside of a cloud, you know, just in a vacuum. So that's the point she's making. She's actually making an oddly conservative, dare I say, Burkean point, but she's doing it in a really silly way. So everyone's just going to make fun of her for talking about coconut trees. Hey.

The best part of this, obviously, is the blue suit. The rest of it we've come to expect. It's very silly.

I am a woman. The pronouns for a woman are she, her. You know, you have to explain all of these things that three-year-olds knew intuitively until about five minutes ago. But then my favorite part is, and I'm wearing a blue suit. Do you like my blue suit? Nope. Now, why is she doing this? The liberals will tell you she's doing this in order to paint a picture for blind people. If you're blind, you can't tell what color suit she's wearing. So she wants to tell you that.

But who cares? Why do the blind people need to know what color suit she's wearing? I would tell you to kiss my ass too, but you probably can't find it, you blind mother... In the world of Kamala Harris, there is only the superficial.

There is nothing deeper. They're just appearances and accidents and superficial trivialities. It's all facade, but there's nothing behind the facade. It's just a desert. It's like there's this big, it's not even that big. It's a semi-impressive facade in front of an arid desert that contains nothing.

That's a great image of Kamala Harris.

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Absolutely. We strongly believe and remember also that the sanctions are a product not only of our perspective as the United States, but a shared perspective among our allies. And the allied relationship is such that we have agreed that the deterrence effect of these sanctions is still a meaningful one, especially because remember also, we still sincerely hope that there is a diplomatic path out of this moment.

but within the context of a diplomatic path still being open.

The deterrence effect, we believe, has merit. Okay, so what she's saying here is not so much silly as it is needlessly wordy. All she needed to say was, we're instituting these sanctions because we want to deter Putin and we think that our strategy will be successful at deterring Putin. What makes the clip ridiculous is that the day after Kamala Harris made this gobbledygook word salad for the reporter, Putin invaded into Ukraine. So it, uh...

It didn't work. You have failed. She could have saved us all 75 minutes or however long that interminable

address was. It didn't work. In those debates, you landed haymakers on Joe Biden. I mean, they were his teeth were like chiclets all over the stage. And now I believe you that you're fully supportive of him. How does that transition happen? How do you go from being such a passionate opponent on such bedrock principles for you? And now you guys seem to be pals.

It was a debate. Not everybody landed punches like you did though. So you don't mean it.

I understand. I remember this when it happened, but good on Colbert. He was trying to help her out. He said, look, there's this obvious question here. Your whole campaign, in as much as you had a campaign, was about how Joe Biden's a big racist and kept you off a school bus when you were a little kid because you're black. So...

You know, that's pretty rough. That's a little more than Joe and I disagree on tax policy. So how are you pals now? You said he's a horrible racist who kept you out of, tried to keep you out of school. Tell me about how you came together. It was a debate. And she has no answer. She goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's a debate. Ha, debate, debate. So then he has to go where she's going. I mean, she led herself into this really bad position where he says,

So you didn't mean it? Okay, hold on. Let me just stop you right there. Okay, first you lied, right? Then you lied about lying. Okay, then you lied about lying about lying. Stop lying. Your big attack during your brief presidential campaign that Joe Biden was a racist, that was just fake? You were just lying? Why should we believe anything you have to say now? Colbert didn't say that last part, but that was implied. And what does Kamala respond?

Debate, debate, debate, debate. What happened, Steven? You fall out of a coconut tree? I didn't. I feel like I fell out of a coconut tree after watching those clips. I'm Michael Knowles. See you next time.

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