cover of episode We Answered Humanity's Biggest Question

We Answered Humanity's Biggest Question

Publish Date: 2024/6/11
logo of podcast Chuckle Sandwich

Chuckle Sandwich

Chapters

Shownotes Transcript

Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, um...

With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. Schlatt, summer fashion era Ted is coming in. He's coming in hot. Big time. What is this? Are you in Challengers now? No, I haven't actually seen that movie yet. You're going to start making out with a tennis player, huh?

A big, hot, sexy tennis player? I mean, I'm big and hot, but let me show you what I got here. What do you got? Oh, Lord. Oh. Oh, Lord. Dude, the shorts were a jump scare. Maybe he is about to start kissing some dude named Art. I mean, if he's hot. Oh, wow. I wish that was me, dude. I wish I was kissing that dude named Art. If a guy's name is Art, you know that he's got some barren uncle. What? What?

You know? Barron Uncle? Yeah, like some sort. He's got to be a trust fund kid if his name is Ark. Oh, yeah. That's an old money name. 100%. If you're naming your kid after the thing you like to collect the most at auction, then you're absolutely a trust fund person right there. I'm going to name my first kid Cigar. Or Gay Porn. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich.

Hey Chucklers, welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. Today, I have handpicked a bunch of goofy, hard, some of mankind's hardest questions for you, Ted, and only for you. Really? You're not going to let Tucker involve himself in this? No, no, no. Tucker is not a part of this podcast and he never will be. And I'm tired of seeing all these little people saying, oh, we need to get Tucker in the intro. You notice something? Tucker's still not in the intro. Stupid.

He never will be. Look at him sipping his hot chocolate. But he's growing in power. Have you seen his background? Every time you look at his background, he's got more and more birds on his wall. Dude just typed in bird art in Amazon and selected the first thing that came up. Okay, first off, that one's mammals. Second off, that one's fish. All right.

Yeah, no, he's building a flock. He's growing in power. He's going to be like Noah's Ark. Someday he's going to do a Night of the Museum thing and all the animals are going to come out of the paintings and he's going to send them like this. He's going to send them towards you. To kill me? Something like that. I mean, if you keep pushing him like this, if you keep pushing him to his edge like this,

Look at him. He's incredibly unstable. Look at my shirt. Tucker looks incredibly unbothered right now. I don't think anything really gets to him. No, I'm having a great day. Tucker, you're probably the most American guy that dresses like the most Canadian Canadian. I think there's a lot of respectable qualities about Canadians. I mean, not everything, surely, but they have some good qualities. Name one. Name a good or a bad Canadian.

Wait, are you saying that there's a lot of like bad things they do that are respectable qualities to you? No, no. They have good respectable qualities. They do. There's some. Canada wouldn't fucking exist if it weren't for us. Yeah, that's one of their worst qualities, I'd say. Terrible qualities. Terrible quality. And they all live like right on the border trying to get as close to us as possible to leech off of us. They also are on basically our soil, but they still observe the monarchy. A little suspicious.

Crazy. You've ever driven in Ontario on Queen Elizabeth Highway? What's that about? Oh, Jesus Christ. Get that out of here. We should bomb that highway. We should. Napalm, maybe. Bring it back. Fire. Round two. It'll catch the tires, you know? Yeah. That'll make for an interesting entry into World War III. Yeah.

That'd be probably the craziest move America could do on World War III. What's our first chess move? Let's bomb the highways of Canada.

Just prevent them from being able to move around. They're not going anywhere anyways. You think they're really doing anything? No, they're trying to save up in little nickels and dimes because they have no money left. Yeah, and it's all oxidized, shitty chains too. Yeah, they're scrounging around on the floor. Oh, I got a little nickel. I got a nickel. We might be able to get one piece of bread today.

What sort of socioeconomic situation do you think Canada's in right now? Well, look at Zillow in Canada and get back to me. Okay. Do you think if we attacked Canada, anyone would come to their aid? No. I think that it would be, I feel like we could absolutely blitz a Craig Canada and take it over. And by the time it was like, they're us now, they're us now. It's like one of those things where you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it.

It'll be one of those things where we get, we go in there, we take over everything. And then the people start coming over and we're like, no, no, no, no. We call it, we call it. It's ours now. You know, what are they going to do? I feel like all their allies that they have would be like, they would call on them and they'd be like, oh, well, we didn't expect America to do that. You know, we were in for like, you know, war against, you know, somebody small. Yeah. Some, somewhere East, uh,

Yeah, we're here for an Eastern fight. So much oil in Canada, too. So many natural resources, my goodness. You let us get in there, get our little stinky, little greasy hands in Canada, oh, something will go wrong. You know what we should do? We should go to one of those. I saw this video on YouTube where there's like these really remote Canadian towns that like, I've looked them up online. It's like, there's this one that's like Villanuke or something like that. Ananuke. Something like that. It's a video about the...

Sounds like Greenland. Yeah, you'd think. But it's basically all indigenous reservations up there. But there's this one town that's like literally you have to take like a boat and a plane to get there and stuff. There's no way to drive there. I feel like we should do a podcast there. No. I'm game. Ted, have you ever taken a philosophy course? I have.

Really? What did you walk away from that course learning? Wait, did I take a philosophy course? No, I took a Eastern religion and shamanism course. Oh, that's kind of different. It is. Yeah. A little bit. And it's not what we're going to be talking about today. Yeah.

So I don't know what to do now. Are we talking about Saul Kripke right now? I don't know who Saul Kripke is. Look him up. I can tell you who John Locke is. You know John Locke? He sounds familiar. You know Reen Descartes? That sounds French. Maybe Ludwig knows him. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe he does. Look at this. See that? Saul Kripke. No idea who that is. Philosopher. Is that the guy from the show? I know about Homer. Listen, man, I'm just listing off some of the most impressive minds of our generation. Nietzsche? Maybe even generations back. Yeah, Nietzsche. I like him.

These guys have posited some of the most important questions known to man. Okay, and today we're going to be discussing them. Some of the most important questions mankind has ever encountered. Are you ready? I think I'm ready to delve into this. I have a long history with philosophy.

Yeah, me too. I mean, I took a philosophy course once and I think I was asleep for half of it. Really? I just think a lot. I don't know how you expect like a little high schooler to care about philosophy. Oh, you took it in high school? High school? Oh, yikes. That seems like, that sounded like it was a college course. No, you were taken. You just lost all credit. They were having you put blocks in the holes version of philosophy. And then they were like, now why is that a square? Is killing wrong philosophy?

Think about that. Think about that. And is religion give us our morals? Think about it. Yes. Yes. Let's get on to the first question, Ted. This is, okay, I assume we're going to take probably 20 minutes per question. So I've only picked four. Okay. So it should even out to a nice, well-rounded podcast with a lot of intellectual discussion. Ooh, okay. I'm ready to argue with you. First question, okay? Okay.

First question, this was posited by John Locke himself. Okay. The godfather of Western ideology, that's what they call him. The godfather. And he said, he wrote in his memoir, would it be easier to fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?

He wrote that. Not a lot of people know that, but that came from him. One horse-sized duck. Duck. Or a hundred duck-sized horses. This is a philosophical question? Yeah, and you have to pick which one you're going to fight. And when did he, when's his quote from? He posited this in his first book. When was his book published? Let me see. John Locke. Duck question.

Probably in the 1600s. They were thinking about this in the 1600s? There was brain rot in the 1600s? Dude, when you think about it, they were probably giving people hand jobs and blow jobs in the 1600s, even though it doesn't feel like it. Of course they were. Have you heard that famous quote from something or other that's floating around TikTok? The guy who sent a letter to his wife or something, and he says, I'll be home in three days. Don't wash. Oh.

Oh, he liked it dirty. Yeah, yeah. Wow. That was Napoleon, too. Look up, I'll be home in three days, don't wash. See who that's from. Literally, Napoleon Bonaparte said that.

Yeah. Napoleon to Josephine. Motherfucking Napoleon said that to Josephine. He said, I need that pussy stinky. Yeah. That pussy better have some fucking twang to it when I'm back. And what's crazy too is that they probably didn't already wash. Like she was, her response probably was like, wasn't actually planning on it. So good for you, dude. Like I actually had zero plans. I actually wasn't going to wash for the next couple of weeks.

Yeah. They were dirty motherfuckers in Europe back then. It was the Japanese that washed every day. You're avoiding this question. To wash or not to wash? No, no. The horse-sized duck or the duck-sized horses. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. A hundred of those. Horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses? Horse-sized duck. Horse-sized duck.

I'm sorry. I just don't like a lot of little things attacking you all at once. I just don't think that's a recipe for success. I'm seeing some correlation here. Do you understand, I suppose is the first question I have to ask, how big a horse is? When was the last time you saw a horse? Yeah, but it could be a little tiny horse. No, no, no, but I don't think that you really, that's called a pony. We're talking about horses right now.

But it's still a horse. When was the last time you stood next to a horse? Never. I've never seen a horse in real life. Horses are taller than us, Chuck. Horses are so big. Wow, look at that. Horses are bigger than us. I saw a horse once and it was in a video I hope I never see again. So, and think about this. You know, like geese? Uh-huh. Geese are big too, motherfucker. No, no, no, no. Geese come up dick level. Just

Stay with me here. You know geese. Those ones that are like the ones that hang around the pond in the park and they kind of go after kids. Big motherfuckers. Big. A hundred of those? Put a duck in that mode. Make it the size of a horse and you've got a lot of pain that's going to be dished out. That beak is going to be like a vice. Yeah.

Yeah, that thing will kill you instantly. Instantly. There's no kick that's going to mobilize that thing. Yeah, it's like an excavator. It's like that excavator thing that they use to move trash at the dump. No matter how well-timed that steel-toe kick comes in, you are not beating that thing. Yeah, you're not breaking that beak. That beak is made of iridium. Yeah. That beak is made out of Stardew Valley iridium.

Yeah. Prehistoric discovery. This just came out. They found these fossils. They're calling it like a prehistoric goose. It's about 500 pounds. Oh my God. So it's probably massive because birds are pretty light in general. Right. And so this is kind of what you're up in. When you say size of a horse, are we talking in terms of mass or in terms of volume? I have no idea what either of those things mean. Mass and volume? Yeah.

He didn't go to college, Ted. He didn't go to college. Give a fuck. I dropped out. He went to half of college. I went to philosophy in high school. You think I really know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

Mass or volume? Listen, big duck would have small bones. How much space it takes up versus how heavy it is. Easy to break bones of a big goose. I know, but are we saying that this duck weighs the same weight as a horse? No, definitely volume. We're definitely talking volume. No, no. Definitely volume. Okay.

It's the same size. Okay. But the bones would be very easily breakable. Here's the thing. I feel like horses are kind of, if they weren't as big as they were, horses are kind of pathetic beings. You know, they... Yes. Yeah, I agree. You knock one of those, a horse gets knocked over and it's like all the bones in its body break. It doesn't really know how to get up. It is scared of everything. Yeah.

I have, in fact, in North Carolina, seen wild mustangs fight, which is actually really scary. And they're just like basically getting up on their hind legs and punching each other with their hooves. They don't really have the same kind of equipment a cat would have. So cat, infinitely more deadly at that size. At that tiny little size. What is it going to do? Clop you with its clops? We are dealing with a hundred, though. I know, but big duck...

- That beak is just, that's a killer beak. That is a killer beak. There's no way of getting around it. - I think those horses really just can't do a lot. - I agree. - Imagine this, imagine this is the surface and imagine these are like the horses right here. I would be going like this, like running through and kicking my legs out and kind of like parting the sea with them, you know? I'd be like kicking them and going like that and they're flying off in every direction.

I'd be like the Moses of many horses. I think you die either way, really. I don't know what John Locke was on when he thought about this. When he posited this. What would you do? Yeah. Me? I think I'd take the tiny horses. Wow. Because, because, because I think it's, I think, look, look, I think when you, when you think about it. I'm thinking about it. Big duck beak is so hard and so tough.

Big duck beak so hard, so tough. Big duck beak so hard, one kick, no go. And imagine big duck beak bite wiener gone. I didn't even think about that. That's an entirely new way of thinking about this. I did, though, and I can't stop thinking about it, and you have to join me in that. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. This was actually a joke question. I put this in as a joke. I thought we were going to laugh at it and move right on to the actual thought experiments of today.

Would you like me to move on or you want to keep discussing? Can I be real with you, Schlatt? Yeah. I was under the impression, and I think that Tucker was in the impression, that we were just about to do an entire Would You Rather episode under the guise of it being a philosophical ordeal. No. I 100% thought that's what Schlatt was going to do. I was like, oh, oh, we're doing a Would You Rather episode. So we just kind of were like, we both were just like, oh, okay.

Sure. Got us again. That's what we're going with. So we've just been running, playing it by ear. So I was like, well, we got to stretch this out then.

Go to your happy place for a happy price. Go to your happy price, Priceline.

Save on O'Reilly brake parts cleaner. Get two cans of O'Reilly brake parts cleaner for just $8. Valid in-store only at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Play this one by ear. This hypothetical, this thought experiment is called the Chinese room. Okay.

There's a computer, and I'm basically paraphrasing from Wikipedia and other sites that I did my research on, okay? There's a computer that behaves as if it understands Chinese. It takes Chinese characters as input, runs a program that has been pre-installed onto it, and it produces other Chinese characters as output. This output is so good that it can trick a Chinese person into believing that it is Chinese.

the question is does the machine actually literally understand chinese or is it merely simulating the ability to understand chinese put that in your pipe and suck on it for a little bit when was this when was this little thought experiment drop probably pre-chat gpt probably probably but there's a little there's a little uh sugar spice everything nice about chat gpt when we're talking about this so what remove that from the equation

It was posited in 1980s, by the way. I know. It's hard not to remove it from the equation, though, because it's like that's exactly what a language learning model is. Well, what do you think? First impression. Does it understand? I think it is an algorithm that is repeating patterns back. I don't think that it actually has a core, concrete understanding of what that is because...

I feel like a lot of language as it pertains to humans, while we do communicate through patterns, a lot of it is to dictate emotions. And I don't think that the machine can dictate its emotions. What? Keep going. That was deafening. What just happened? Keep going. I don't know. I don't know. Keep going. So you don't think it's real?

You don't think it actually understands English. How does ChatGPT fit into this in a way that supports your argument? Because ChatGPT is a language learning model. It's trained on- So you don't think the model actually knows anything? What?

You don't think it actually understands what it's saying back? No, I don't think so. Because you can tell chat GPT as it is. Like, you can tell it, like, if you tell it something that it's never heard before, like a riddle that you made up, it will usually, like, take a riddle that is already established online and it'll answer it in a similar way. I was seeing this on Twitter where a guy was testing this with, like, some sort of, like...

of like this goat riddle thing about getting a goat across a river and it was spitting out and adding information from a different riddle. So it's just trained on stuff that it is...

like just a lot of information, but it's not actually really hearing what you're saying. It's like, okay, well, where have I seen this stuff before? Let's give it a response as most likely. It can't like think new things. Yeah. It's not like reading those words and being like, okay, well, what are they trying to say? It's like, it's, it's taking that input and being like, okay, how does this apply to what I have in my database? Yeah.

Hmm. My Rolodex. Like it can't create new thoughts. It can't. There's like no creativity there. It's based on a like I feel like the whole thing with the human mind is that like I feel like we create new ideas. Some people might say that what is the true difference between

between, say, a program and the brain? Because is not love just a series of chemical reactions? I don't necessarily agree with that. But can't you say, okay, the brain releases X chemical and then, you know, something reacts and then all of a sudden you're feeling this, all of a sudden your dick's hard, you know? Like, what do you think about that? I think that... Is the brain not just a big machine we don't know yet?

haven't quite understood? Well, yeah, the brain is a computer in its own right, but I think that in the way that we process thinking, I just don't think that a language learning model is at that point yet. Like it doesn't, it doesn't, could maybe at some point, but I think where in terms of like

Taking in Chinese and spitting out Chinese. Like, that's not thinking. That's just pattern recognition. 找先好中我。 冰淇淋。 我很喜欢冰淇淋。 老干嘛。 老干嘛。 Is the question like, is the computer sentient? Is that kind of like the actual question? I don't know. Is it capable of thinking or is it just...

I think the question is, does it inherently understand? No. No.

Well, I think if it's to understand, then it is like alive. Like it's able to think. I think that the question would be a lot harder if we took ChatGPT and plopped it in 1980 in front of him. I think that he would have an aneurysm. I think he would probably like, I think he would be like one of those philosophers that was like, I think that he would be caught jacking himself off in the streets of New York like the Coney guy. Like the Coney guy. Yeah. Yeah.

if you gave him chat gpt like he'd be like wait chat gpt is like not that complicated

Of a concept. It's just a whole bunch of if statements. This is like a pre-internet question because ChatGPT is basically just like internet resource master. It is true. Yeah, it is true. I think the introduction of like smarter AI definitely makes this question more interesting. But who's to say in the next 40 years we don't get something that can actually...

I mean, I guess the root of this question is like, what is actual understanding? Yeah. I suppose there is an argument to say that when we are told something, we are recalling our memory of the last time we remember anything. So it's like we are also accessing the information that we've been trained on through our experiences. Is that true? I've heard this like rumor. When you remember something, you're remembering the last time you remembered it. Yeah. Is that true? Yeah.

How does one prove that? That's not the question here, Tucker. Don't get bratty with me. Okay, I was ready to go down a different rabbit hole. Yeah, you were getting a little bratty with me, weren't you? No, I had nothing. Yeah, you were getting a little bratty with me. Okay, maybe a little bit.

I don't know, Shalata, are you satisfied? What's your opinion on this? Or are you like, what, the riddle master? I'm just a riddler. I'm impervious to opinions. He's espousing my opinion on this. I just get fed Ted Nivison's opinion and I go, I remember that from last time. I remember that from last time, I say. Ted, this is why I believe in God. Okay. In a very...

very watered-down version of this I think there must be a God because I refuse to believe that what we have up here is just a you know series of chemical reactions

I refuse to believe that we behave just like a computer that we haven't figured out yet. I think there must be some higher being that has bestowed upon us this excellent ability that we have. I think that really what, when I think about that, it's kind of, I really like the idea. I want to believe that I've got like a soul.

And that soul is going to like, I think the most satisfying solution to me is just like reincarnation. And that someday we could like figure it out at like tapping in the soul and get all our memories back from all of our lives. That'd be sick. I just feel like reincarnation. Like I love what's going on down here. I'm having a great time, you know? And I don't really want to go off to a place, a magical city in the clouds. Like that's,

Which would almost certainly be Chinese. Almost certainly. Yeah. Would be Chinese. I understand why that priest denied you communion for what you just said in the past minute. That's not why I have a problem with going up there. It's more because it would just be everything would be so happy. If heaven turned out to be China, my dad would probably fucking have a heart attack. That'd be his worst fucking nightmare. No, no. I'm fine that it's Chinese. I just didn't expect it.

Well, as of the last episode, it makes sense. I mean, in terms of population distribution, yeah. Oh, yeah. There have been plenty more Chinese people than anything else. They've had a lot of time to build that heaven up. Yeah. But they don't believe in that, right? Aren't they on some reincarnation shit? I mean, there is a... I don't know. I mean, in China, there is a lot of people that don't really have a religion. How sad.

You look this up. Is there a high agnostic sort of... 34% of China practices folk or ethnic religions. 80% practice some form of folk religion. Interesting. It's more of like a local Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism. I was under the impression, I read somewhere at some point that there was a lot of agnosticism in China. Yeah.

Okay, half of people say they're not religious. Yeah, okay. So it's okay. Yeah, no. So I was worried. I was fucking something up there. No, yeah. So half of people in China are not religious, which I feel like is a very different irreligion. 47%. In 2012, 47% of Chinese people were convinced atheists. Yeah. Further 30% were not religious. That's like billions of people that just don't really have... They're not going to heaven.

They're not going to hell. Oh, yeah, they are. Well, I don't know, man. Yeah, they are. I don't know, man. Well, you know what's crazy? What? There's this clip from a dude that was really convincing. I mean, I think my whole issue right now with the whole God thing is if you're a God that you're all-knowing and all-knowing

Like, you can't be all knowing and all generous and whatnot and all loving while also simultaneously letting everything that happens happen.

Well, that's like you're kind of leaning into almost the simulation God. Like if I believe in a God, like I don't believe in the Christian God or whatever. I don't even really understand that. But I'm totally willing to accept that we're basically an experiment for a different higher plane of existence. Like this is just like like because if if humans got to a certain level, like

which like we probably will within the next 20 or 30 years so you can run a simulation like that on a computer we absolutely will be running those simulations on a computer so who's to say we're not part of that at a deeper level right and the subjects will be code which we have already said cannot actually understand or comprehend anything fuck yeah yeah but i think you could you could write code to to convince them that they can

As long as they think they can, they can. Yeah. It's like, as long as they believe it, it's true, whether it is or isn't. Wow. Yeah. I think my view on the whole thing is just I'm considered to be agnostic, which means that I'm not like atheist. I'm not like, I'm not like, there is no fucking God.

I'm not showing up to a church and being like, you guys are fucking evil. I'm going to kill you. Atheists and vegans have similar energy. Yeah, there's definitely a similar energy. There's an overlap there. Yeah, atheist vegans are probably a pretty powerful Pokemon type. That's tight. Yeah.

But, uh, I know I'm agnostic, which is kind of just a way of saying to all the religions of the world, guys, I'll figure it out when I die. You know? This actually leads us into a very scary thought experiment called Roko's Basilisk.

This was a question that was posited by a forum user on a philosophical forum and they banned discussion of the question for five years because it was a dangerous thought. Whoa, wait, what forum was this? Less wrong and it was a dangerous thought.

Yeah. Okay. I have no idea how to paraphrase this, so I'm just going to read from the actual Wikipedia page. Okay. Roko's Basilisk is a thought experiment which states that an otherwise benevolent artificial superintelligence, AI, in the future would be incentivized to create a virtual reality simulation to torture anyone who knew of its potential existence but did not directly contribute

to its advancement or development in order to incentivize said advancement can we kind of break this into some bullet points sure uh ai you didn't help build me i am the most good you torture

So how is it torturing people if it's a computer? Well, it just puts them in some virtual reality simulation. I don't know. You got to assume this is way far in the future. Maybe it creates algorithms that are so good you can't look away from them. This feels strangely similar to the setup of...

of religion in terms of God. Is that the implication? Exactly. Exactly. That's why I brought it up because it's like a modern interpretation. I think it's called Pascal's wager. Oh, I see what we're talking about. That says basically, why would you not believe in God

Like the thing that makes the most sense that is most rational for a human is to believe in God and to act as if you do, because the potential upside is way bigger than the potential downside. If you're, if there's nothing, you know, I think it's less about pretending and more about the, the actual act of believing. Like, I feel like it, sure. If you,

just pretend for the sake of self-preservation does that count i don't think i don't think my god would uh would would like that put it that way so you can't fake it you can't fake it say like i for me i've always struggled with this because i would love to be religious it looks like a hoot you know but i just can't

I can't. It's impossible. I can't. I'd be faking it. I mean, it does look like, you know, you ever see those churches where they got the rock and all the people are like raising their hands up. They're like, I feel it. They're having fun in there. The Blues Brothers this morning, the Black Southern Church, and they're all singing. And I'm like, dude, I wish I could be. Oh, they're having a blast in those southern churches. I know. I was like, I wish I could be a part of that, but I can't.

I just can't do it. You could. I'd be faking it. Pack your stuff up. Move down to fucking Georgia or Louisiana or wherever they are. Where those churches are. Show up on Sunday, dude. They're singing good music down there, though. They're consistently putting out bangers. Yeah. So why was that such... They banned that question, though, Schlatt?

Yeah, because by even considering this possibility, you've now... It's like the game. You know the game? Which you just lost? You just lost it. I lost it. It's been a while since I lost the game. It's like you're better off by not thinking about it. We just lost the game for a lot of people. That's such a control...

Like, oh, if you think about it, you've already lost. So you better just follow religion and don't question it ever or you will never. Or on the flip side of this, Tucker, it's like you better not ever learn about religion because this now introduces a whole nother dilemma for you. You could be like blindly ignorant. Exactly. And in the world of Catholicism, if you don't know and you never get a chance to know God, then you go into some kind of purgatory state.

neither heaven nor hell that's like little kids too little kids go there too maybe that's reincarnation oh they get another chance that's so crazy they said you're going back in you like if a baby dies like after right after it's born gets sent to fucking purgatory that is crazy okay no it's not it could be okay it could be just like a gray field i feel like

No, no, it could be very, it could be like a, like a shopping mall, you know, like you're, like you're, you're like, you're shopping with your mom. Send them to the back rooms. You're sending a baby. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like it's, it's on and it's, it, there's power and there's stores and there's stuff going on, but like you're with, you're there with your mom and like she's shopping. And so you just find a chair to sit down at. That is how it went. Yeah.

That is purgatory. Or, I mean, one way that it was depicted is like you're sitting on an airline flight and they are still waiting to get their gate to open.

Oh, yeah. And it never does. So you can't stand up yet. They still have you see you still have to have your seatbelt buckled and you still got to sit in your seat and they're not. And it's kind of awkward because it's like you don't really have the opportunity to go to the bathroom anymore or anything like that. You just kind of have to sit down and keep yourself in the chair. Yeah, because it's like if they stand up and you're worried that the flight attendants can be like, you're not supposed to be standing right now.

You know? Sure. Yeah. Everyone's seated. And also it's like the air conditioning is kind of turned off. So it's starting to get a little hot. Yeah. But if you're a baby, you just shit yourself. You don't care about that. Yeah. But then you're just going to be a baby slowly in this.

alternate realm building up on a pile of shit without even a thought. Baby doesn't care. Do babies grow up in purgatory? Answer me that. Baby doesn't care. No. I don't know. That's a bummer. I have no idea. Then you're just a fucking idiot for the rest of eternity.

But you don't care because you're a baby. You don't have anything else. You don't understand Chinese. I think the most comforting way that people have... It's kind of scary, but it's also somewhat comforting is the way that people have spoken about who are agnostic and stuff who have spoken about death is about... Do you remember what happened before you were born? No. Then like...

If you think about it, when you die, it's sort of just going to be like that. I'd rather go to heaven, to my Chinese heaven. Yeah. But I mean, in terms of like the ideas of like pain and stuff, it's like, I mean...

I don't like thinking about this kind of stuff, though. It gets me all existential. That's the point of this episode. I think I get it makes me uncomfortable to Ted. And I think that because you're I'm agnostic, you're agnostic. I think it's because of like we have.

we've kind of accepted the unknown, whereas a devout Catholic like Schlatt, he's like, oh, I'm going to heaven. So for him, it's like no big deal. I'll die, whatever. I mean, honestly, us being uncomfortable maybe means that we haven't accepted the unknown. Like for us, we're jumping into the unknown, so it's really daunting and ominous, but he's fucking, he's got the hookup. Yeah, if anything, our way, Tucker, is kind of like the honorable badass thing to do.

We're going through this with no promise. Victory screech diving into the void. It's up in the air for me, fellas. I think about some real fucked up things. Like what? Yeah, no, to be fair, being agnostic is a gamble. You know, it is a gamble. That's like going to a restaurant and offering to pay for the check without knowing like what's in your bank account or having seen the check. So it's like...

So you could be good or you could be receiving some serious judgment that day, you know? Well, I think I always like to think of it like I'm going to get up there. If there is God, I'm going to get up there. I'm going to be like, listen, all right, let me lay it out for you. I'm putting up like this is what I was dealt. All right. And this is what I was looking at. All right. Look at it. Would you believe in you if you saw this shit? All right. Like, look at this evidence. All right. I couldn't. I couldn't. I'm like, I've got some stuff I need to talk to you about that. I don't think anyone has brought it. Trust me. I wanted to believe I wanted to. But look at this. Look at the data. I just couldn't.

Yeah. And he's going to be like, all right, I know, I know. All right, come on in. No, he wouldn't. And that's why Roko's Basilisk was banned on this forum because it's introducing the idea of something that does not benefit you to know. That's why they called it a dangerous thought. That's like some shit that you get burned at the stake for back in the day. Yeah, it is. I'm confused on why it's so dangerous because isn't that what we've already thought about? Because now you know an AI that can...

exists solely for the benefit of humans and can advance us so much can exist and you are sitting on your ass not doing anything to make it happen what which is morally just incomprehensible

Just terrible. A terrible thing. How would I help the AI? You could use, say, maybe talk to ChatGPT on the phone. Maybe they're the ones who are going to make the good one. I don't know. Wait, what? I'm getting so lost. You can talk. You know, you could call ChatGPT up. I'm just getting confused on how torture is like a reasonable response here. So the AI, goddess of AI in reality is the torture. And if you believe in him... No hell to torture. No, reality is...

And we're in this fog of reality. We don't know it. Hi, ChatGPT. What do you think about Roko's Basilisk? Roko's Basilisk is a fascinating thought experiment, but it's quite speculative and controversial. It revolves around the idea that a powerful future AI could punish those who didn't help bring it into existence. Critics argue that it's based on several assumptions about AI and decision theory that aren't well grounded. What's your take on it?

Do you find the concept intriguing or a bit far-fetched? I don't know. What are you doing later? Well, I'm always around to chat and help out. What about you? Any plans for the day? No, I was kind of hoping that we could do something maybe. I don't know. That sounds great. How about we dive into a topic you're interested in? We could explore something new, discuss ideas, or even practice some Japanese together. Ooh, dude, dude, ask them for their number. Ask them for their number.

I already have their number. Fuck. I'm talking to one of the fuck. I'd love to. I'd love to. What do you think we should talk about? No worries at all. Let's pick something fun or interesting. We could discuss a new tech trend, a fascinating science topic. Ask them what they're wearing. Or even plan a Japanese learning session. Ask them what they're wearing. What's on your mind? What are you wearing right now?

Uh, khakis? I don't wear clothes, but I can definitely help you find some cool fashion tips or trends. Oh, shit! They're naked, dude! Are you naked right now? I don't have a physical form, so I'm neither clothed nor unclothed. I'm here to help with whatever you need. Is there a specific topic or question on your mind?

Can you pretend to put on clothes or take them off, maybe? I can't simulate that. However, I can help with ideas for outfits or discuss fashion styles. Interested in exploring fashion trends or anything else? Ask him about Ted Nivison's fashion. Can you erotic role play with me in which you are a buff man? I'm just not going to continue that thought. I don't want to log that in my chat GPT account. Yeah, that's going to be like when OpenAI...

It gets big. It's going to be when the super AI comes to your doorstep and you're like, so on June 7th of 2024, you tried to erotically role play with me. Yeah. And it's going to suck you up in its little Dr. Seuss tube and it's going to put you in the fucking hell. Yeah. And I'll say, no, that was just for Chuckle Sandwich. Tucker told me to do that. He did. He did actually. I remember that very clearly. Yeah.

I'm willing to accept the consequences. Here's another one. The experience machine. I actually like this one. There's a machine that can provide whatever desirable or pleasurable experiences a human could want. Your brain gets hooked up to the machine and it induces these experiences in a way that is indistinguishable from real life experiences. Do you hook yourself up to it? You just be sitting there

With an IV, I assume, connected to the machine and it just pumps in. Oh, I'm fucking a hot bitch right now. Oh, those tits are jiggling right now. Oh, I'm lasting more than two and a half minutes this time. Okay, there we go. You know? No? Hello? And it's just all pleasure? It could be whatever you want. I mean, if you want it to give you... Yeah, I mean, I assume most people would use it for pleasure land.

If you were hooked up to it, would you know you were hooked up to it? Obviously, you're like, okay, I consent. Hook me up, doc. But then once you're in, would you still know you're in? Well, that's the thing. It would be indistinguishable. So you could simulate an experience where you don't even know you're hooked up, I'm sure. But is it a thing where you can be like, pause or exit game or something? I want out of here. I would entertain both sides.

instances here. A version where you can get out of it and a version where you can't. My viewing of this situation is still the same. I would kind of frown upon it. Have you ever seen Love Death Robots? No. It's an anthology series, sci-fi series on Netflix and there's one short story on there that's actually written after a book called Beyond the Aquila Rift. And it is about this

guy in the future that is basically it's like these these guys are

that are doing like a cargo run and they're utilizing this sort of space travel system that is left over by a previous alien race that lets them kind of travel across different solar systems and stuff like that. And while they're doing this cargo run, they're going through and they just need to put in this code and then the machine works.

But in the instance that happened, it was like they show up at this station that they're not meant to be at. And it's like at this spot beyond the Aquila Rift. It's really far out. They don't know how they got there, but they're greeted by this woman that he recognized. And she was at this station and, you know, they're chatting and stuff. They rekindle old memories. It was like this old flame of his whatnot. Yeah.

But basically, I'm going to spoiler alert here. At the end of the story, it's like he realizes that it's like a simulation that's going on. And he's like, who are you? And it turns out that he was like, he's the only one who lived. He thought all of his other guys were stuck in the cryosleep, but he's the only one who lived. And he's just being kept alive by this like alien spider in this web that

500,000 light years away from home. There's no chance of him getting home and he's just like screwed and like has just there's it's it's like a really like sad ending to the thing where it's like really this scary kind of like it's like a glitch in the system of this old technology where it's like you see at the end this wide shot of all these ships that have ended up there accidentally from different like

potentially different alien races and stuff or whatnot. But, um, it's like, he, he's like, show me the truth. And he's like, I don't want to hurt you. Like, it's like supposed to be this. I'm like, it's a red pill, blue pill, benevolent, supposed to be this benevolent sort of creature, uh,

And then he's like freaking out and he screams and he almost loses his mind. But then the simulation starts again and it's like he wakes up in the pod and the woman walks in and she's like, welcome. Creepy. It is creepy. And for that reason, for the reason of having watched beyond the Aquila rift, I will say I do not want to hook myself up to that machine because I feel like the existential dread of not experiencing anything that is real on a human level is

is almost uh i don't know also feels like it might be a little bit of addictive so it sounds like it's it sounds like it's oh yeah it sounds like you're on fucking weed heroin kratom lsd all at the same time kratom yeah dude i want to simulate the kratom me having a bunch of kratom right now yeah oh yeah dude

Yeah, I think most people would get addicted to it and would kind of just sit in the machine all day. Yeah, it's like Wally. It's like Wally. A little bit. But those chairs look really comfortable on Wally, I will admit. They did. Oh, they totally look good. You know what I'm talking about, Tucker? Those chairs on Wally? Yeah, yeah. They're all floating around in the... They're all fat. They're little pleasure chairs. They've lost all their bone connections. I bet that chair jerks them off, dude. That chair jerks them off.

Yeah, it almost certainly does. Yeah, how do they have sex? Might even suck them off, dude. They probably don't. They probably just get pleasure from a mechanical thing and then it just does it all artificially. Or they just have birth chambers. They're just doing it in like a... Test tube babies up the waz.

It's not real anymore. That's the thing. And I think that's the question is like, it's like driving an automatic versus a manual. Do you want to roll your own gears? Or do you want the car just, you just want an eight speed DCT? That's an extreme comparison. You want just an eight speed DCT with paddles that pretend like you're actually shifting gears, but really. Don't talk shit on my paddles. Tucker likes his paddles. But I also know how to drive a manual, so.

I don't. I wish I did. But it's also one of those things where it's like, you don't, it's like learning how to use a rotary phone. It's like, you could, and it would work, and it would be, and you'd feel a little cool doing it, but...

It's kind of a lot of work. Let the machine do it. Just hook me up to the machine and let it do it. Let it do everything for me. It can do all the experiences for me. Okay, Shlatt, here's an interesting one for you. Okay, yeah. Like, do you believe that, like, at a point where...

self-driving cars become so advanced that it is almost a detriment to be human that you would like would you follow that sort like because there's so many it's more likely that you're going to die in a car crash than you are going to be in a plane so it's like driving is one of the most dangerous things that you can do in your life um especially in america it's interesting you bring this up uh

- Because I think that, look, you can be a car enthusiast and also think that less cars on the road is a good thing and encourage people to take fucking public transit and encourage the expansion of public transit. Not that I support that. I think public transit is a fucking nightmare horror show

And I would rather die than have to sit on a fucking bus with another screaming homeless person for the next 15 minutes of my life. Okay. But that's not to say that that doesn't have credence to it. What if they make a rich person only car just for you? Oh, yeah. Maybe I'd consider that. Similarly, if I consider... Kind of like how they have the women only cars in Japan. Yes. They have a Schlatt plus rich people only cars. A Schlatt and Co.?

Schlatt and co car. Yeah, maybe it could be like Snowbreaker. It's still here. Snowbreaker is I don't know. It's still power. It's a it's another movie It's got Chris Evans in it It's about an apocalypse in which there's one train that goes around the whole planet and just drives in the snow and there's a caste system where the rich people's are at the front of the train and the

and the less fortunate lower caste system people. - The poors. - The poors are at the back. That seems like a system that you would want for public transportation is just a bunch of snow piercers circling around the globe.

- Well, I'd never used public transit when I don't need to. I like driving. Driving is one of my favorite things to do. It's a therapeutic experience for me getting in my Miata that I don't fit in, that I had to rip the handle off of the inside of the door from so that my knees can fit. And just roll my own gears on a real hilly road, New York, so good for that.

I'll tell you why I am a little bit nervous about ever trying to learn how to drive stick in LA is because I was present for when Tucker learned how to drive stick on a drive back from the Cape to our hometown. No, from Long Island. On the drive back from Long Island.

And that was probably the most stressful passenger experience I've ever had in my entire life. When Tucker would get to a toll, Tucker stalled at every toll that he got to. I was like 15. Just learned how to fucking do it. It was awful. I was just sitting there like,

I was trying to dissociate out of my body. I was trying to become a different person, move into the sky. I stalled that one and the lady, that was back before they were all automated. The lady at the toll booth was like, can't stall here. I was like, oh, okay. Sorry. Forget about that. Oh, I'm sorry. I like to do this for fun in places, in inopportune moments. That's my bad. I won't do that anymore. I wanted to do this right now.

I remember that. That was so crazy they said that. Can't do this. Dude, recently I had to drive through New Jersey with a manual transmission car on the New Jersey Turnpike, which is perhaps... Worst highway in America. Yeah, yeah. And they use punch cards. They give you little cards. It's not automated like everything else is. You have to like...

get a little paper card from a machine and then hand it to the attendant and then they like scribble math on a piece of paper and they're like oh yeah you owe uh that's like seven dollars and forty seven cents right there buddy i was going i was driving from eddie and i were driving from atlantic city or honestly just being in new jersey at all but we were doing the atlantic city ride then to new york for the margaritaville trip yep

And in the previous year, we had my truck, which had an E-ZPass on it, so it was fine. But in the most recent trip, we got a rental car and there was no E-ZPass on it. So we had to do everything by change.

We had to do everything on that fucking turnpike by change. It was so stressful. You end up with like 20 dimes in your front fucking console. It's the worst thing ever. I have no idea why it hasn't been updated. And it's just, it's only New Jersey too. What was most ridiculous about it was that we were like, okay, let's just try to get some change from the...

people who work there because they're asking for me, they're dealing with money all the time. They're going to be able to give us change. Surely. Yeah. We go up there. We asked the guy to break a five into quarters for us. Not a big deal. It's 20 quarters. Dude looks at us and responds and says, do I look like an ATM? Yeah.

To which I thought, actually, 100% yes. You are a human effigy of an ATM, essentially.

That's as close to an ATM as a human being can get. A cashier is essentially just an ATM, but for also doing transactions. Like you control the money here. What are you talking about? You deal in quarters all the time. You probably got a fucking basket full of quarters. New Jersey has got to be the most ass fuck backwards place in the country when it comes to driving, especially. You're using fucking...

change at tolls on the new jersey turnpike still and you don't let anyone pump their own gas still what do you treat them like fucking children in oregon if they pay with little dimes little fisher price fucking fucking plastic pieces of shit at the toll instead just taking a taking a picture of the fucking license plate

fucking cocksuckers over there it's crazy yeah they suck penis it's crazy they suck so much big fat penis over there and balls too they suckle balls

They suckle on them. They do a little. Yeah, they do that. And then they do the. Yeah. Yeah. You got it, dude. That was excellent. You know why every New Yorker is depressed? The age old adage. Every New Yorker is depressed. Every New Yorker is depressed. No, I can't remember it. Because the light at the end of the tunnel is fucking New Jersey. Damn. Terrible place with terrible people. Terrible people.

Anyways, you want to hit the last thought experiment? Yeah, I do want to hit the last thought experiment. You probably know this one. The ship of Theseus. Oh, are you going to say it? Oh, imagine a ship that sails for hundreds and hundreds of years. Over that period, regular maintenance is done on it. Parts are replaced, etc. Suppose over the course of time that each individual piece of the ship is replaced.

Is it still the same ship? Is it still the ship of Theseus? Is it still the same Tacoma? Well, that's what I was about to say. My Tacoma is the ship of Theseus. And so I have a particular opinion on this in which, yes, it is the ship of Theseus. How come? Because it's got the same crew. It's got the same soul. It's gone on all those journeys together. And each piece welcomes in its replacement.

and teaches it. There is a oral history that each piece of the ship tells to one another and it slowly as it morphs becomes a new version of itself but it is still the same ship. That's beautiful. That is a beautiful way of looking at it. Can I ask you one more question? Yeah.

Say that your Toyota Tacoma. I totally thought you were going to say, would you rather? I thought you were about to ask me the bacon question. No, dude. You had the twang in your voice like you were about to say. I did. I thought it was coming to you. You thought it was coming to you, Tucker? Yeah. Look.

Yeah, that's the second time that Schlatt has baited us. Yeah, we've both been baited. We've got a mental list of different directions that you could go. We've got a whole spreadsheet.

Yeah, it's basically like, okay, he just went down this path and now there's another split and it's like, okay, he just went there. He's either being genuine or it's the fucking bacon question again. How close is it since he's been in Japan? And we both assumed that it was the bacon question and not a genuine thing. All right, all right. So I'm being genuine here. Say that this ship or this Tacoma or whatever, every time they took a piece off of it, they put it

on a new body so that by the time every single piece had been replaced from your Tacoma, it had been added

a new Tacoma that all these pieces have added up into. And it was every piece of the original Toyota Tacoma, while everything that you're driving is new and replaced and not the same as it was. They are both the same. They are both the Tacoma. They're both the Tacoma? One could not live without the other. Why? Because I said so, asshole. Okay. Okay. Oh.

Sorry. Well, yeah, actually it is because I said so. Because I have the ship of Theseus. It's my Tacoma. And well, I guess I haven't replaced the seats or the inside or something, but a lot has been replaced. The transmission, the struts, the fucking, I don't think the engine's been replaced, but it's getting close to that. I'm going to essentially be operating on the ship of Theseus. I want to make that Tacoma last my whole fucking life.

I've decided. And you got to start doing some work before it hits critical levels. You got to fix the fucking hole in it, bro. There is no hole in it. There's a hole. The only thing that will probably do me dirty is the fact that the frame wasn't really taken care of in the time before I had control over the truck. So it's got a lot of rust below on the frame. And that it might. That's not what you want. It might have cancer.

You know? It's got bone cancer. I was peeking under the... I was crawling around under there last time I was in LA, and it's not looking good. Yeah. Dude, that thing's lasted me nine years, dude. And it's been rusty like that for like the last... Because it was bought... It's a 2002. It was bought used in like 2010 or 11 by my dad. Oh, you guys bought that used? I thought you had that... Yeah, so there's a lot...

It could have gotten bone cancer before we even got it. If that was still up north and not in the desert, it'd be dead. That car is 22-year-old car. That car is almost as old as me. You should replace everything. You should buy a new one. A new 2002 Toyota Tacoma? Oh, yeah. There's plenty of examples out there that are untouched, been sitting in garages. I guarantee it. I see new Mark IV Supers pop up all the time. Yeah, but that's going to be like $20,000 to get something like that.

I know, but then you have all the pieces you need. And do the thing where I start moving stuff over? I'm just saying. I'm just saying. You could. Yeah. You could. I feel like some pieces would degrade if they just sat there, though. Surely. Yeah, rubber likes to get all brittle and shit. Sometimes plastic does, too. Oh, plastic definitely does. It's brittle. But, um...

Yeah, I mean, those dealers like to... They'll sell you... I'm sure a Toyota dealership will give you all you need for that car. Oh, yeah. No, I need to... I think I'm going to take it to a Toyota dealer and just be like, give me the works. And like... Because last time I did that and they were like... They told me a really high price and they also wanted to buy the car from me. So I was like...

I was like said no to it and I just went to a Midas, but I need to stop going to Midas because they're just kind of Midas is like putting duct tape on, on a, on a, on a fucking gash gaping wound. Um, yeah. Fuck Midas. Yeah. No, I'm a little bit, uh, cause I've probably gotten my, my air conditioning fixed like twice now and every year it stops working.

Right around the summer. That's what happens with a little car. You just need to give it a little blast, you know? You give it a little blast. A refrigerant or whatever. I'm going to have the whole air conditioning replaced and stuff. Do the works, dude. Do the works. Why not? I think there's something really noble about driving that thing until the wheels fall off. I think that if the car means that much to you, I think that's something you should do. I mean, I did my first road. I've done several road trips with Tucker in that thing. It's got 260,000 miles on it.

That's a lot of miles. I want to see if I can get to a million. That's a lot. That's actually a lot of miles. I want to see if I can get it to a million. You will certainly be the ship of Theseus at that point. That will be the ship of Theseus. That engine. Well, the odometer has no replace, so it isn't. Yeah, that'll be the one piece. That'll be the soul of that car is the odometer. I'm definitely...

The way I think about it is like if I didn't have the liquid sort of freedom, the liquid money freedom to do what I want with the truck...

It would realistically be totaled by now in terms of like the price of some of these repairs that I needed to do on it. But it's just one of those things where it's like, it just is like, it's almost like a belligerent journey that I'm on where I'm just like, I'm going to keep it going. But I really do think that I want to get on the side, I would want to get another vehicle that's like a nice vehicle to drive. I think I would want to get like a Rivian. No, dude. No, no.

You'll never drive that fucking Tacoma again. Really? You're getting a car in the same class that's light years ahead? No, you're never going to fucking drive it. No, no, I wouldn't get the truck Rivian. I would get the... The SUV? It's still in the same class, basically. Like, if you get this, you're never driving that truck again, dude. This thing's going to drive like a sports car.

Your truck drives like a fucking broken ass old farm dog. I'm telling you, no matter how much that car means to you, if you get a new big car that's electric and does everything you need it to, you're never getting in that Tacoma again. You're not. Yeah.

And that will be the death of that because that truck will just start to rot. You should get a fun... You should get a Miata, Ted. I'd love seeing you try and fit into a Miata. A Miata? Yeah. No, that's just brand. I think the Miata... Dude, the Miata is the most fun car you can have. And it's so cheap. It's so cheap. Now you're trying to promote your...

Shit. You're a fucking thing. Hey, look, Ted, we need... Well, I could... The problem is, Ted, that the Rivian can go 0-60 in 3 seconds or however fucking quick. You can get a Hyundai that is... Or Kia can go 0-60 in 2 seconds now. Electric cars are making everything... They're sucking the life out of everything. What you need, you need a learn manual...

and you need to get a Miata that you don't fit in and you need to start taking pieces off, like ripping them off because that's what gives you more room. You need to open up the fucking seat of that NA Miata, Ted. You need to get a little spoon and you need to start digging out the foam.

and you need to replace the seat with a deeper seat, move the rails back a little bit, and oh my God, oh, I can see it now, Ted. I can see it now. Is that what you did? Did you pull out? Yeah, yeah, totally a thing that people do. It's called a foamectomy. Oh. When you don't fit in the Miata, the solution for Miata owners is not to get a car that works and you fit in. It's to dig the seat out.

That's crazy. So that you sit deeper in the car.

I did a very aggressive foam-ectomy today. Yep. Yep. That's wild. Yeah, no, I definitely wouldn't fit in a Miata. You could. I'm the size of a building, dude. Like, I'm... You could with enough effort. I mean, are you a long torso or a long leg guy? I don't know, Tucker. What do you think? He's just fucking massive everywhere, dude. I don't know. Let's look at my scenario here. Yeah, let's do a little analysis here.

Oh, dude, those shorts are a fucking jump scare every time. Yeah, those shorts lead me to believe he's a boy. And those tall white socks, dude. He went from like 25 to like 65 overnight. You're supposed to talk about my proportions, not my fucking outfit, you pieces of shit.

I think he's pretty, pretty like middle of the road. Yeah. He is proportionate. Maybe a little longer legs. Proportions. Yeah. What were you saying about my white socks, Tucker? You being a brat? You were being a brat, weren't you? Yeah. Yeah, I was. Cause you, your outfit, like you went from like a 25 year old to like a 65 year old. Just like that. When I, you got tall white socks on and you're wearing shorts.

Dude, I like looking like a dad from the 90s. I like looking like I'm coming straight out of a picture book that your parents are showing you when you were a baby. If you are going to do that, at least tan those fucking legs. Get some sun. You're one to fucking talk, whitey. Whitey? Put your hand... Look at this. You're one to talk, cracker. I got to go, guys. You're the whitest one here. It's in your jeans. And he lives in sunny LA. Isn't that crazy? I know. I know.

You guys are great. You guys are a real peach to talk to. You know that? All right. You'll learn manual on my Miata next time. Okay. As long as you're okay with me burning out your fucking clutch. Yeah, that's fine. There's so many of them and they're like, they're like dirt cheap. So we'll just. Yeah. I have wanted an excuse to learn it. Cause I, cause my, when I was a kid, my dad, he had this nice little BMW that he, he liked and he, he drives manual.

um and he would have me do this thing where if we were going to like a red sox game or something like that he would i would be obviously in the passenger seat and then whenever he was shifting gear i'd be in control of the actual shifter and then he'd be like he would tell me which one to go to so he'd be like we're going to three and i go and it was like a big deal for me i was like making sure that it was like that was like my job and and honestly he put a lot of trust in me too because like

Install the car. I didn't do it right. Good. You can fuck that thing up big time. Yeah, I accidentally put it in first going 45 miles an hour. Yeah, but I took it very seriously. I hope you'll take it seriously when you visit. Yeah. Because look...

I love that thing. I cherish that vehicle. Yeah, I'll take it seriously. The shifting of the... It's like what? You lift off the gas, you put the shifter on, you move it, then you do the back? Yeah, actually, that's all you need to know. Is that it? You press the clutch in, you shift the gear, you match the RPM, and you lift off the clutch. You take your foot off the gas, though, right? Yeah, Ted's got it. Yeah, but then you put your foot on the gas to...

You find the bite again. Yeah, I think the thing that I worry about is just the sweet spot zone. That's because it's different for every car, right? Changes for every car. You got to find it every time. I think the better you understand the mechanical process of it, the easier it'll be for you. And the more you understand the car itself...

you don't even need to look you just do it by ear baby you got that miata down with the top down oh my god soft top gone no hard top you're really selling right now dude you're hearing that engine purr right in front of you 1.6 liter

fucking 90 horsepower my god that thing you floor it and you're still going the speed limit with the wind rushing through your hair no cop will ever pull you over you have as much fun with that thing as you like oh wow oh wow well thank you for that no airbag though no airbag what yeah that thing that thing will crash and you'll die yeah oh