Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, um...
Welcome back to America, Slant. Oh, it feels so bad to be back. I hate this place. I landed in John F. Kennedy International Airport and I'm like, man.
wow, this place is crap. In the comments of the last episode, a lot of people were saying like, oh, Schlatt looks so happy. He looks so full of joy right now. He's filled with this sort of, just this energy. And now we're so excited to have you back to your regular grumpy self. Hold on. Let me, let me. Oh, yeah. There it is. There it is. There it is. Yeah.
Very Grinch of you. Very Grinch. Yeah. Next Christmas, we should do a recreation of how the Grinch stole Christmas. You can be the Grinch. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll be like the mayor. The mayor. Okay. And then Tucker can be Cindy Lou Who. Who I steal Christmas from. Yes. Yeah. Really, I just want to get Tucker dressed as Cindy Lou Who. In-person Christmas special? Yeah, a little bit of an in-person Christmas special.
It'll be an awful podcast. People would just be listening to us say badly the lines from The Grinch. Yeah, it would be terrible. And also, it'd get us both canceled, Ted, because I'd have to do green face. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich.
Welcome everybody to another episode of Chuckle Sandwich, the biggest chuckle-based podcast on the website. I'm here. We got Schlatt back in his little spot, in his little land. New York, baby. I've been in New York this whole time. Yeah. So what is this? You got a video coming out? Because this is before the video comes out, so I don't know what's going on here. We've had to hide the fact that you've been in New York this whole time. So Ted, I...
The last video I had uploaded was a 10 out of 10, which is not good. That means you're falling off. Don't say that. I have a 10 out of 10 too. Okay. Well, have you looked at our views lately? I don't know.
I released Barbie like two months ago. That's true. That is true. I don't know why I said that. I also have a reaction video that I posted like half a year ago. It's a 10 mil. So yeah, we'll just do that again. But I had to I had to figure out a way. OK, let me get some clicks. Let me do some engagement bait. And so I I will upload a video with me just looking in the camera like this. And it'll say goodbye.
That'll be the title. Why don't you just say, I've been lying to you.
That could also work. Hey, look, if it's not a one out of 10, if the goodbye doesn't get it, then I can try something like that. I think that I've been lying to you will do better than goodbye. Maybe. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. But it's going to be basically me saying that I'm leaving. And then there's going to be a long pause and then I'm going to say. So does this mean that I win?
What do you mean? Well, we both, you know, we finished our time in our respective areas and then we all moved off into our content homes. You know, the places that we live and we make our YouTube videos or streams or whatnot. I'm still in the same exact office, same exact place that I've lived in LA. You are currently...
back to where you were it has chuckle sandwich has seen me in probably 10 different locations there's a guy on the on the subreddit that actually uh they they they made like a spreadsheet or something they made like a list that showed like all of the uh including all the times that we traveled and stuff they have this updated list of all of our backgrounds and stuff
Jeez, that must have been a lot of work for that fucker. I thought about maybe throwing the PC and stuff in the other corner of my room and switching everything up. You could, man. It would be a nice, it'd be a welcome change. People are probably real bored with that setup. Yeah, no, it would definitely change the background a little bit. I wouldn't have this stupid fucking mirror in the background. I'd be able to actually make a more formal background to my setup. Yeah.
But no, I'll give you the W. I'll totally give you the W. Texas. So I checked the weather. It's like 90 degrees in May. Yeah, I know. It's the capitalist wasteland. And at least LA is also a capitalist wasteland, but at least there's stuff to do. Yeah, I guess. I guess. And like the drivers are terrible. Yeah.
Everyone's always like, oh, you get 0% income tax, but then you pay it in property tax and in rent and in tolls on the highway, which I'm still getting for some reason. You're still getting tolls? Yeah, yeah, because my license plate looks a lot similar to someone else's. What?
And the system is just, yeah, oh no, I get it. That's such a Texas problem. It's like they decided, oh, we're going to make our own proprietary license plate reading technology. We're not going to take any federal shit. And then it's just reading it wrong.
They probably just put a pigeon in a fucking CRT box and they were just like, read that. Dude, I get the same tolls monthly for someone whose license plate is one letter away from mine. And it's so, it's like such a little amount of money that it's not worth me to call them and say, hey, you've got it wrong. Because then it'll be like an hour on hold with them instead of just paying it.
Right. So I'm paying for someone else's toll. I don't even live in Texas anymore. Or you know what you could do? You could have it hit real hard. You let it just build up because so many late fees.
Yeah, get sent to collections and then my credit score takes a hit, you know? Yeah, yeah. Would your credit score take a hit from that? Yeah, if you get sent to collections and it's like over a hundred bucks, then your credit score takes a hit. I know that because I'll often get medical exams done under a hundred dollars and then never pay. Does that actually work?
Tucker, look that up. This isn't actual financial advice, but if you have collections out for you for under $100, it doesn't affect your credit. Okay. No, I'll let it pass this time. Okay, so here's the deal. The way most people are doing this, they're looking stuff up and then they're sending it onto the screen when they found it. You watch the whole process. Yeah.
I watched you do that. Well, no, it's just funny. So Tucker put in, Tucker's first search was medical services like under $100. So it just was bringing up CVS and like Walgreens and stuff. Minute clinic near me. I'll admit it was a bad search. Yeah. I hope that, you know, honestly, we're probably going to give Tucker trauma at this point because now he's going to be like searching something up casually and being like,
wait, am I doing it right? No, that's already happened. I was sitting in my office Googling something the other night and I was like, that was dumb. Where I never would have thought that before. I was like, if somebody watched me do that, they would have thought that was stupid. So you're already getting in. I'm sorry that we've put you in a position where you feel bad about your Google searching. It's such a niche problem to have because people aren't usually...
like directly auditing your your google searching ability yeah it's a live audit yeah it's a lot yeah no it's like tucker will write something and i'll be like i'll watch i'll be like too i'll be like over here i'll be like i can see both of you like like your peaks yeah i'll be like what's he doing there yeah yeah look at this tucker show me read out read out the title of this post
Overlooked hospital bills under $100 went to collections. Is it best to just pay? And now read the first sentence of the top comment. Doesn't really matter.
Boom! Doesn't really matter. Wow. That's just a household little medical bill evasion tip from your old pal Schlatt. Yeah, medical bills less than $500 doesn't get reported to the credit bureaus. You can pay them off just to get them to stop bothering you, but nothing will happen if it's not paid. If you like, instead of paying the collection agency, you can just call up the hospital and pay it directly. Weird. Wow, this is a real hack.
That's a life hack. Yeah, Tucker, you're going to save. We're all going to save. Our listeners are going to save thousands of dollars. Just don't pay. It's like a shitty honey.
Hey, kids. Today's episode is sponsored by not paying your medical bills. Yeah, some fan artists out there make us like a poster or some sort of like propaganda type poster 1940s-esque that's me and Schlatt pointing at the viewer with the giant bold text that says, don't pay your bills. And then in smaller text, if it's under $100.
it's true it's true that'll be a good that and that's what we try to do here on chuckle sandwich try to inspire people to do the right thing and the right thing is to save money
and buy our merch i'm always looking for ways to save money yeah because if they if they're saving bills on a hundred dollars then that money can be reinvested back into buying flat and co merch exactly store merch exactly maybe sooner or later tucker keen merch who knows tucker keen merch dude i i the more nickel and diming i do the more nickels i have for service employees yeah the more nickels you have for your your nickel closet
Exactly. So Schlatt, for context guys, Schlatt has a closet that's entirely made up of nickels. He doesn't collect dimes. He doesn't collect pennies. He doesn't collect quarters. Yeah, no, this is real. No, he has his nickel closet. He took it off. And when he's looking for an apartment, he will be like, okay, I need one that's going to, I can keep my nickels in.
He just likes it. I think he likes the thickness of the coin in comparison to something like a quarter. I get that. No, it's like a sensory thing. Oh, yeah. It's absolutely a sensory thing. You ever put your hand in a big bowl of marbles? Penny Abraham Lincoln. Penny Abraham Lincoln. Wow. That's not a nickel. So this isn't from your nickel closet then? Penny. Penny. The closet isn't set up yet. Yeah. He's got to set up his nickel closet still.
Yeah, I'm not even going to lie, man. I left the nickel closet behind me. You're telling me that in Texas you have a closet that is just filled to the brim with nickels that you didn't take it with you? Yeah. What's the point of collecting all those nickels then? Okay, dude. Well, what's the point? I didn't have a presidential glass canister to put them in like I do with my pennies. Penny Abraham, honest Abe. See it? You see it?
You see his little top hat? I see him. I see him. Yeah, no, I see his little top hat. See his little top hat. I filled it up all the way. Fucking full. Full of pennies right there. Shit was heavy. There's a dime on his back. You see that? Wait, that doesn't make sense. That should be. Well, figure out how much 500 grams is in pounds first. 500,000 grams.
What are we doing? What are we searching? Well, no, we'll see. This is the problem with you guys watching me search live because I was wondering if you did have a closet of nickels and you were living in Texas, it probably costs more to ship the closet of nickels than the nickels are worth because they're made of metal. We'll get those grams and pounds. Finish this off.
We got to see where this goes. Because now I'm curious. Tucker's looking up. Okay, so Schlatt has half a ton in nickels just sitting in his old spot. It'd make more sense to have half a ton of nickel. Yeah, no, I mean, half a ton. You know what? I'll make this simpler for you, Tucker. This 1.1K or 1,100...
Pounds probably weighs more than the monkey statue. Is that true? Why are we talking about this? What the fuck are we doing? Calculating the fucking weight of a closet full of nickels. Why did you collect all those nickels if you were going to try to get them somewhere? Come on. Come get real, man. There's a lot of shit I left behind in Texas because I didn't have the money to ship it. Okay.
You remember my merch company scammed me? Yeah. Out of six figures? Yeah. God. You know, whenever I hear someone say six figures, I always think of it as being $600,000. That's why we say it. You know, the people who tell people they make six figures almost always...
Make like $102,000 a year. Yeah, but I mean, it's still correct. It's still six figs. No, it's true. It is true. Six figs. Now, seven figures, that's something you don't hear that often. Seven figures, yeah, that's my goal. Yeah. Yeah, well, almost there.
I'd say that's everybody's goal. Really? Yeah. It should be. I think everyone's goal is eight figures. Eight? No, that's too much. That's over. I mean, that's the point where people start getting mad at you on Twitter.
True. That's like too much money to have, they'll say. But what if you really want a private jet? I don't know if private jet is an eight figure. Well, if it's high eight figures, I feel like high eight figures is, but 10 million, I don't know if you can do private jet with $10 million. You can buy it, but you couldn't run that thing. Seven is a million. Eight is 10 mil.
Yeah, 10 to 90 mil. Nine figures is, nine figures, you're talking hundreds of millions. Nine figures is private jet money. Yeah, that's what I meant. That's what I meant. Yeah, because I was looking this up the other day because I was curious and it costs like, to do like one flight if you wanted a charter private jet or something like that, it's like $400,000, $500,000, half a million dollars to just do one trip. That's not true at all.
That's not based in reality. Yeah, if you want to do like one across, like let's say I wanted to fly to like, I don't know, Thailand or something from L.A. on a chart. Oh, I just know from the ones I booked.
that have okay 200 000 or more sorry sorry 200 000 more it's in the it's in it's in the five figures to do a national pj flight that's what i call them pjs well that's what but if you're if you're operating at the nine figure level then it's like then you get on that guy's tick tock account
Have you seen this guy? Yeah, the plane dealer. Holy shit, what a fucking easy job. What a fucking easy job. You imagine the commission. Yeah, he's just got to pull out his little map showing the distance that you can get with a PJ. How many are you looking to take? Yeah. How far do you want to go? Boom. How many do you want to take with you? Boom. And what kind of luggage are you bringing?
Yeah. And then he's like, "Yeah, I got this one. It's probably $65 million, but we can get that down to 63 for you." And then the person on the line just goes, "Okay." Yeah. When somebody's spending in the 60s of millions of dollars, it's like, that's like the difference between like a $1,500 flight and like $1,450 flight.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's pocket change for these fucking people. Yeah. It's, you know, one day, you know, Hey, one day that would be, I don't know if there's ever going to be, unless you're like fucking Markiplier or Mr. Beast. I don't know if there's, you're at a PJ level. You would ever be at a PJ level YouTuber. Yeah.
I don't think Markiplier is the kind of guy who would even take PJs. Beast does PJs. You know he does PJs. Oh, yeah. No, Beast chartered flights of private jets when he's not even getting on the flight. He's doing it for Ludwig to bring him out to LA. He's like, I want you here. And he's like, what? And he's like, I got a PJ picking me up in 10 minutes. It's like, oh, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. If I had the money, I'd do it.
I think, yeah, okay. You could say that about anything. If I had the money, I'd do it. You know? Go to the moon. If I had the money, I'd do it. Yeah. There are some things that you shouldn't say that about, though.
Oh man, that'd be such a great stream setup. Moon base? On the moon? Yeah, moon base. No latency. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to read any donos. Yeah, damn, that does kind of suck. That does kind of suck. Yeah, how would we be able to get communication properly? Let's say we've got international...
not international, interstellar travel going on and you've got those little wormholes and stuff. How are we getting, what are we, you telling me we're putting like an ethernet cord through a wormhole? Like how are we getting people to talk fast to each other? Tucker, look that up. - How we, Tucker Googles, how we, can you fit fiber optic cable in a wormhole?
Look up Ethernet cable through wormhole possible question mark? Tucker Googles, 50 million mile Ethernet cable, Amazon? No known strategies. No known strategies. Tucker, can you, for the next episode, can you prepare us a strategy? I can come up with a strategy. Let me put that on my calendar.
Yeah, put that on your calendar. Just like give yourself a time to just like... I need you to sit down and just meditate on it. Yeah, you need to get like I have with the Barbie thing. You got to sit down and just kind of like meditate.
Go to your happy place for a happy price. Go to your happy price, Priceline.
We're going to send Tugger to Tibet to study with monks and he's going to come back and he's going to be, first of all, enlightened and second of all, he's going to be fluent in how to figure out this interstellar communication problem. That'd be crazy. Yeah, what if I figure it out too? Well, you definitely have the personality for it. What a segue. Whoa.
And I do. Tucker, would you give us the rundown on what we're doing today on Chuckle Sandwich? Today we are doing personality tests. So Ted and Schlatt were sent off to take a personality test. Took, I don't know how long it'd take you guys, 10 minutes. You get a series of questions. There were seven points you could answer with like full agree or full disagree and everything in between.
And no one has seen each other's results yet. Yeah. And Tucker also did it because we knew that if Tucker didn't do it, then everyone would be in the comments being like, why the hell did Tucker not do it? Why did he not do it? I want to know what our little tub. Why is he not the third member? Put him in the intro. He'll never be the third member. Not as long as me and Ted make 50%. There you go, folks. You kidding me? You think I'm going to okay that? You think I'm green lighting?
Taking 20% of my earnings to give it to this producer? You guys got to understand the creative accounting I've had to do to make sure this guy's paid enough. It's not a real window, dude. Tucker's paid well, though. Tucker and Emma are paid well. We pay him good. Who's that on there? On my titty cup? I don't know. She's got big ass fucking titties, though. Look at the fucking knockers on her.
Whoa. Who is that? That's one of the best ones, I think. That's a terrible shirt. It's barely covering anything. I know. I know. But hey, you know, it's probably sold well. I'm going to make another one soon, I think. She's taking supplements. Good one, Tucker. He's got two big supplements right there. So...
Okay, so Shalab, what do you think? So for those of you who have maybe done this before, because I know this is a popular test, it's the 16personalities.com test. If you want to, guys who are listening, you could go to 16personalities.com. You could fill it out yourself. It's the ones that, you know, I feel like people on Twitter love talking about their personalities. This shit's probably in some of your guys' bios on Twitter, you know? This shit's probably in your bio. This is the...
This stuff is like astrology for slightly smarter people. So guys, here's what we're going to do. Here's what we're going to do. Well, first of all, Shlap, what did you think of taking this personality test? I thought it was a little silly. I think it's a bit fake.
A little like astrology or most religions. Really? That's how you viewed it? I mean, it's just like, I don't know, when I see questions, like I often think about awkward memories I've had and I'm like, yeah, who the fuck doesn't?
What is it? What is it? Like, what are you talking about? You understand that that's how it finds your personality. Do you get sleepy sometimes? Yeah. It didn't ask that. A little bit. I get a little tired every now and then. It didn't ask that. It didn't ask that.
I took the thing but I don't think it's really like do I think there's there's any basis in reality No, this is somebody who did not like the results No, I don't I don't know. I didn't read my results, dude You want me to email them to you so you can read them out for me? Okay, so schlatt you're a logician. Mmm. Oh
Wow. So you're kind of like a magician, but with logic. Right. Yeah. My dad would always talk to me about how logic was awesome. And I took after him. You know, my mom gets very emotional. I think that's really quite stupid. Really? Yeah. When she yells at me and then won't stop.
intpa you're an intpa intpa i-n-t-p dash a that means i'm assertive i'm an assertive logician alpha male logicians okay this is the this is the out the outline it gives logicians are innovative inventors with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge well the way that tracks that tracks though he's trying to get inside the fucking
- He's talking pyramids, dude. He's talking the Sphinx and us-- - Flexible thinkers enjoy approaching life unconventionally, often seeking out unlikely paths. - Like a path into the Sphinx, dude. That's crazy. That nailed it with you. - I know. I'm looking-- - 'Cause that was your whole thing, wasn't it? - I am looking at that hole in the top of his head, that trap door, that metal iron trap door. That didn't make much sense to me. - Well, 'cause we kept asking each other, "What's in there?" And you kept saying, "Knowledge," as if that was enough. - Yeah, right.
And this makes sense. An unquenchable thirst for knowledge. That was enough for you. So we'll give, I'll read out my traits. Okay. I'm 72% introverted as opposed to extroverted. 59% intuitive over observant. 69% thinking over feeling nice. 60% prospecting over judging nice.
and 64% assertive over turbulent. Wow. Look at that. You've got really strong thinking over feeling there. And I think that mine might be the fucking opposite, which is crazy. Yeah, I'm sure there have been moments in...
In everyone's viewing of my content where you can determine that I care. I'm more of a Ben Shapiro facts don't care about your feelings type. There was a lot of questions that were like, do you care about facts or people's feelings? That was straight out of his book, dude. Yeah, he just switches into the Ben Shapiro voice and is like, well...
Let's see what they care about. Let's say hypothetically I'm thinking. Hypothetically. Hypothetically, if I was an alpha male. Let's say hypothetically I'm an assertive magician. What spells do you think I can do?
So mine was that I am a completely different one. I am a campaigner and I think I have quite literally opposite, other than like a couple, I have like opposite traits as Schlatt. Yeah, I'd say that. So I'm 72% extroverted as opposed to introverted, whereas Schlatt is 72% introverted as opposed to extroverted.
I'm 77% intuitive as opposed to observant. So, Schlatt and I are in the same category there. It's just I'm a little bit more intuitive. Fuck you. Okay. No, it wasn't... That's literally objectively what I was saying. Don't worry, Schlatt. You got him in the next round. All right. I am 72%... I am 72% feeling, whereas Schlatt is 69% thinking. So...
Basically, I'm an empath and schlatt's a cold dark cavern. Yeah, it's true. Where there's a bunch of calculators laid out and they're wet. That's a sick description. They're sloppy and they're wet and they have all the keypads on them or like the gooey iPad keyboard. You know what I'm talking about? The gooey keyboard. I like that though. I like that though. In terms of tactics...
I'm 81% prospecting as opposed to judging. And then I'm 53% assertive. I'm about 10, almost 11% less assertive than Sean is. It's true. It's true. So I guess let's talk about what we have in common first. We're both intuitive. I don't really know what intuitive versus observant is. Is that? Likely very imaginative and open-minded, focusing on hidden meanings and distant possibilities. Yeah, I mean, we both work in creative fields.
Yeah, so it makes sense. It totally makes sense. Ted, you concern yourself more with the little stranger concepts. And I think that even reflects in the content and that reflects in the in the fucking test results here. I reacted ticky tockies and you do you do. Well, what if I tortured myself for a week straight? You know, like you go to you go to the farther lengths.
And I also didn't read the whole definition of my campaigner. So campaigners are enthusiastic, creative, and sociable free spirits who can always find a reason to smile. They embrace big ideas and actions that reflect their sense of hope and goodwill towards others. Yeah. No, this is like, it's hard to like talk about it. And he was like, I don't know. There he is. Yeah. Yeah.
Just a goofy little guy. I feel like if you're going to be a YouTuber and stuff, campaigner is such a good... Because you're always campaigning for yourself, basically. That's true. That's the fucking archetype of most YouTubers, I'd say. Yeah, campaigner. Yeah. Caring a lot. And let's talk about this next one. Feeling versus thinking. Caring a lot about what people feel instead of think. You know?
It's a great YouTuber trait. That's a great YouTuber trait. Likely values emotional expression and sensitivity, prioritizing empathy, social harmony, and cooperation. And then Hover over Schlatz thinking one. Schlatz is likely focuses on objectivity and rationality, putting effectiveness above social harmony. Wow. I just don't really give a fuck. You're throwing social harmony to the side. That's a crazy one too because that makes it sound like you're a fucking dictator. Yeah.
Think about how many people hate me and how many times I've addressed them. You know? Yeah. Just doesn't matter. Yeah. Doesn't matter to me. You know, you're not going to stop me, bitch. Yeah, no, I definitely care a lot about how people feel about me. So that kind of shit stresses me out. When people are mad at me, I get stressed. I get stressed. I get really upset. I know. I know. I know. It's okay. It's okay.
We're both prospecting though. Likely very good at improvising and adapting. Well, that works for the podcast. That does work. Tends to be flexible and prefers novelty to stability. Jesus Christ. This is just like, you could apply all these to Tucker and I's road trip in 2016 and it would track. There was one question about, you know, that I figure is prospecting versus judging that I really wished I could answer differently. And it was that one that was like,
I prefer to get my work done in short bursts of energy as opposed to, you know, scheduled, uh,
And consistent. Yeah. As in like it's the difference between what you wish you could do versus what actually happens. I would fucking love if I could wake up at 7 a.m. every morning and just feel that creative juice flowing. But I kind of have to take it one day at a time and say, do I really have the motivation to work on this creative project? Because that's what it takes half the time. You have to wait until you're in the right mindset and then just fucking attack it.
Jeez. Are we doxing our brains here? Is this brain doxing? Someone's going to put some sort of social attack on us and they're going to know our weaknesses. I actually looked this up, Ted. I looked this up. I searched up Jay Schlatt personality type and it was pretty...
They had me clocked. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, these people. Oh, it's INTP. INTP. This is like a deleted post from r slash INTP. And it's from a year ago. Go to personalitydatabase.com.
yeah that's the yeah that's the one there's like 2 000 votes on this and it's like a hundred like almost a hundred percent of people are like yeah this is this is an intp fuck right here is there do you think there's any results for me i'm sure there is look up look up ted nimbus and personality type just go on that website tucker yeah oh there it is oh and oh they they they clocked you wrong bro
What's ENTJ? Let's see what the comments say. Oh, they think you're more of a thinker and a judger than a feeler and a prospector. That's probably because I make commentary videos. That's true. That's probably true. A thinker and a judger? Really? That's interesting. No, no, it's like, it's one of those things where... So Ted is the one truly playing a character on screen. Wow. Excuse you, Tucker. It's the data. Yeah.
No, but I feel like... Okay. It's the data. Interesting, Tucker. Interesting. Oh. Very thinking of you. Which leads us into Tucker's. Let's bring up Tucker's full screen. The debater. I'm pretty down the middle.
Yeah, no, this track's already just based on the name. Tucker loves to just, like, literally there's times when we're just in a, Tucker will call me or something, he'd be like, let's do some, this was before Tucker actually streamed. Long before. Oh man, it was like the most dad thing that Tucker would say, and he latched onto it for years. I'm still saying it.
Okay. Let me finish what I'm saying here. We're in a call or something and like, you know, Tucker's maybe like sick of playing a video game or something. And he's like, well, why don't we just do some just chatting? Some just chatting? Yeah. He'll just say like, we're going to do some just chatting. Like he says that whenever he just wants to talk, he'll be like, let's do some just chatting. This is like. I don't.
When he had a notion of what Twitch streaming was, and he just saw that category, and he was like, just chatting. I like that. Bro, I don't think I've ever called someone on the phone just to chat. Really? I don't think that's ever happened. I call Tucker on the phone all the time to chat. I don't call nobody on the phone. In fact, I think I've tried to call you several times to just chat, but...
Doesn't usually read you. Well, that's because Schlatt's the only introvert on the podcast.
It's true. It's true. The guys can attest for this. When I'm ready to go on the podcast, they know. Both when I'm ready to start recording and when I'm ready to stop. Yeah. We will never film three in a row again. Oh, never. Never will we film three in a row again. I mean, I was pretty knocked out when we tried that three day. Then we start talking about drunk driving and then it gets bad. Yeah.
Dude, well, I need to figure out, do you still have that data? You still have that footage, don't you, Tucker? No, no, no, no. Well, you didn't even hear what I was going to say. I don't want anything to do with that footage. I know, but like, what if we cut it down so it was funny? What if we cut it down into like a 10 minute like stint? Put that under the Vatican. No one's ever, I mean, people would agree with me. I'm sure. And actually, Ted.
I honestly feel bad about that instance though, because I would have felt terrible if I was in your shoes based on the way you described it, because you were like, you've talked about at the end of that episode where we stopped and you said that you looked around and everyone was like looking at you weird. Yeah.
They were. They fucking were. Because everybody in the room was a fucking campaigner and here I am, the based INTP having a fucking fend for myself just talking about the data. I think we had like two topics and it was, in hindsight, it was hilarious because we both just kind of
I kind of was like decided to debate you on it. Like I made a choice in that podcast too, to like try to go with it and not pull us away from it. And you were on it the whole time. So then it just ended up being, we had like two topics. One of them was slat and the talking about the Lamborghini Urus.
For the first half of the podcast. And then the second half of the podcast, we started talking about drunk driving. And this is the first time we talked about drunk driving, so I didn't know what was going on. But it was, I mean, in our memories, it's awesome. Most drunk drivers don't know what's going on either. It's true.
But we can move on to Tucker's debater profile here. So Tucker's an ENTPA. This is closer to what people thought I was.
Interestingly enough. Yes. But so Tucker, why don't you read these off since we did that as well. I'm 64% extroverted compared to introverted. I'm 52% intuitive over observant. I'm 61% thinking over feeling. 51% prospecting over judging. And 53% assertive over turbulent. That's the same score as you, Ted, on assertiveness. Oh, interesting. Equally assertive.
These points, dude, three of these are like 52%, 51, 53. You're right down the middle for most. I think the ones that matter here for you are you're a little more extroverted and you care a little bit more about the data. But the data. Yeah, you do care about data every now and then. Tucker does like to debate, though. Tucker had a huge debating period of his life. Oh, my goodness. Funny, I was reading about this and it's like debaters...
will like when a debater grows up they learn it's not worth it anymore and it's basically where i've gotten to in my life oh dude tucker marine marine corera tucker was like the biggest debater in the whole thing especially like seven it's 2017 18 19 geez yeah no that was that was the dark era and then covid 2020 was the climax i was like i can't do it anymore i can't do it
Oh, yeah. No, that was a dark era for Kane. But now you're shining bright like a star now. Yeah. Getting more extroverted by the day, huh? Yeah. You used to be pretty introverted. I think I've always been extroverted. I'm just really picky about who I want to share my time with. Oh, okay. That's fair. Wow. That's fair. I would always rather be doing something with somebody else that I like rather than alone. Yeah, that's fair.
But I dislike so few people. So, I guess we should look into what our strengths and weaknesses are then. So, we'll go into strengths and weaknesses of both. For INTP, aka me, we got analytical, we got original, open-minded, which I don't necessarily agree with, to be honest with you, curious and honest.
which I think is, I think that's fairly, fairly, you know, tracks, but I don't know about open-minded, you know, like genuinely. What does that mean? Even in matters of politics, religion, and philosophy? Ted, your strengths are you're curious, you're perceptive, enthusiastic,
- Easy going, good natured and positive. And I did not mention excellent communicator because holy shit, the amount of fucking times you just don't show up to these calls. - Whoa. - I got, hey, hey. - That seems more, wait. - Let's talk about the data. - Wait, what do you mean? What do you mean? That seems more like a tardiness thing than it is like in terms of communication. Like in terms of communicating feelings, I think that's what it means.
Oh, not responding on discord. It'd be funny. Well, maybe we, maybe we look at the weaknesses. ENFPs fairly regularly leave discord messages on red. Honestly, I don't though. I usually, if I read something, if I open up a discord message, I respond to it. I don't. I'll often read every message I get instantly. And then, uh,
Mark it as unread and then we'll just like leave it for later. Interesting. Because I often don't really care. That's psychotic. That's dangerous. Yeah. Tucker, that's crazy to say. That's psychotic. Let's talk about the weaknesses of both of us. Yeah, let's talk about our weaknesses. I think this will be more fun to talk about. Disconnected for me. Oh, shit. Oh, jeez. Yeah. Uh-oh.
Insensitive. INTPC rationality as the key to a better, happier world. That seems like a great thing. Yeah, no, this is like some fucking, this is some dictator shit you keep getting. Rationality is the key to a better, happier world? That's a crazy sentence. At times they may underestimate the importance of emotion, compassion, etiquette, and tradition.
Dude, you know nothing about tradition, Schlatt. I tried to get Schlatt to do a traditional Irish jig with me the other day and he just wouldn't. I'm not fucking... I am a little Irish. I am a little Irish. I'm also dissatisfied with the world. And this is true. Oftentimes when someone complains to me, I will say, okay, well, how do we fix this? Instead of being like, I know, I know.
Don't make fun of the other side while you talk about it. No, she is a bitch. Offer nothing. Be completely unhelpful. I don't want a sponge to soak up my fucking problems. I want to fucking help. Ted, it's really funny that you took offense to Schlatt talking about the other side, even though it wasn't necessarily about you, but you claimed it.
Well, no, because I know it's about me. I know what he's doing. I know what he's doing. I would have thought he was talking about like a girlfriend or something, you know, not you, but you're like, you identified so heavily. Well, I am kind of his girlfriend. I'm his podcast girlfriend. What do you mean? You identified so heavily with the feelings that you went through. I'm his podcast hubby. Come on. Ted is my word girlfriend. Yeah. It's true. It says I'm an overthinker.
My rapid fire thoughts can be beneficial, but cause me to overthink and fall prey to analysis paralysis. Wow, dude, this is being spitting right now. When this occurs, INTPs can struggle to reach a decision or take action, which makes sense because I often just don't respond to things.
Yeah, this is him reading something and putting it out unread. Dude, this tracks. I need to get into astrology next because these are fucking some broad-ass shit. This is some broad-ass shit. He thinks so? I mean, like, these are... I think so. I think everybody in the fucking world is an overthinker. I know, but I wouldn't put myself in the zone of saying that I see rationality as a key to a better, happier world. Well, it is.
That's why you're that person. You don't understand the purpose of this or what this exercise is. Not really. It's saying what your beliefs are. And I'm like, I don't really agree with that. And you're like, well, you're wrong. Well, look, and I'm getting impatient, which is another weakness of mine. ITP personalities take pride in their knowledge and sharing their ideas when it comes to explaining their rationale. However, they aren't always patient.
Yeah. For my personality, the first one that I have is people pleasing. Most people with ENFP personality type are uncomfortable with the prospect of being disliked.
well i feel like i directly said that earlier i use this against ted all the time tucker let's listen to this one to maintain the peace they may compromise on things that matter to them or allow others to treat them poorly and when they fail to win someone over they might lose sleep trying to figure out what to do with it about it yeah that is really you unfocused wow the thrill of a new project especially one that involves collaborating with other people can bring out the best in new personalities but enfps are known for having ever-evolving interest
Meaning that they may find it challenging to maintain discipline and focus on the long term. Although I have kept going on the plant thing. My rosemary's still alive after a year plus. Still alive. That's a very low bar. Well, there was a lot of, what is it, perennials? Seasonal ones that died off, you know? Mm-hmm.
So, wow, these weaknesses are great. People-pleasing, unfocused, disorganized. Wow. So there's the part that you were talking about, Tucker, in terms of what you thought was communicating. This personality type may avoid routine tasks like chores, basic maintenance, or paperwork.
Yeah, unless it's a big project where I'm taking care of life. Well, listen, dude, I don't understand what you're talking about when you say they're disorganized. I don't understand disorganized as a... Wait, what? Like basic maintenance, dude? Hygiene? I think it's talking about like a house, dude. Not like... I think it's talking about your fucking stinky BO, bro. Okay, I'll just read the last one. So it would be overly accommodating. So...
Yeah. Unless they said Dianery is even the most energetic one that could become overcommitted with little time to energy to tackle the necessity of their own life. Overly optimistic. Damn it.
restless cool no this is good lot is it's funny with mine it seems like i almost got more positives but also more negatives yeah and for me it's with my personality type i kind of think that my weaknesses are strengths in a lot of ways i would say overly optimistic could be a strength to
Yeah, that's true. But also... I'll be smiling to my deathbed, dude. But also it makes you naive. I don't think I'm naive. I think you could be naive. Is that you just saying that you think I'm naive, but then adding in a piece there that makes it seem like it's not your full thought? I think your rosy outlook often leads you to make well-intentioned but naive decisions. Interesting. Interesting. I don't know. I feel like with work stuff, though, I'm usually pretty...
What's the word? Conservative. Conservative. Now I like that. All right. I'm pretty. Well, yeah, no, I'm politically conservative in my work choices. Technically, I am, too. Damn. So this is like people are going to be seeing this and they're going to be like, damn, these motherfuckers are like a couple of doofuses. A couple of doofuses. This is pretty damning. This is pretty damning. So now what we're going to do, guys.
as a group on Chuckle Sandwich is we are going to determine what the aggregate personality of Chuckle Sandwich is by all by us all compromising on each answer to this question to see what the true average personality of Chuckle Sandwich is. You regularly make new friends. Fucking slightly agree. Big disagree for me. Really? I would say agree so it's middle. No, people in school, if I'm in class, people love me.
I immediately got everybody on my side. So it's slightly agree. Your living and working spaces are organized. See, I would say just no. I'm just, I would just say no to this. I try real hard to make it. Don't get me wrong. I love having a clean place. It's just like still got the, still got these on the counter here. These probably should get thrown out.
What was that? Would you just say real quick, what do you say usually when they give communion? Like, what does the priest usually say? No, I'm not fucking doing it. I'm not fucking doing it again. Stop eating fucking communion oats, dude.
- God, you still have those. All right. - Yeah, I'm just sitting on the couch. - That's good to have. So here's the thing. I keep my workspaces clean because I think being around a well-organized environment helps me work better. But I struggle with things like laundry.
Oh, I'm terrible at laundry. I'm so bad at laundry. I struggle very hard with laundry and I think it matters less to me because sometimes I value work over my life. What? Flaw of mind. Flaw of mind because I think it's- You die for a YouTube play button? Ted, I have so many of those. But if you had the opportunity to get-
A PewDiePie 50 million golden ruby. With the bro fist on it? Yeah, I'd kill myself. I'd kill myself. Easy. Easy. You'd rather kill yourself and get a post-mortem PewDiePie bro fist golden ruby 50 million subscriber thing? Yeah. Yeah, but no, I'll often leave clothes around, but I do, I'd say I'm generally pretty on top of cleanliness. Yeah. Yeah.
I would say that my place isn't... So usually the difference that I make in my place is my place isn't dirty. It's just like cluttered a lot of the time. That's usually how my place ends up. Because I'll like regularly clean my place. You stay calm under pressure. How about that one? Like whether it's a deadline or someone mad at you or anything, something going wrong. There's been very rare times that I've had like...
I think I can only think of one time that I had like maybe something close to a panic attack. Like I know specifically when it was. You were on the Margaritaville trip. No, it was when I was trying to, it was just when I was doing the Rainforest Cafe video for the first time. I was like trying to get it done and it just was like, I was so stressed over it. It was like, I'm freaking out over it.
Stop eating the church hosts. I'm sorry. I can't. They're tasty. They're not even yummy. No, they're not. They're not yummy. These are flavor blasted ones. Flavor blasted.
Extra Jesus on those. I'm a big agree. You got like a thin layer of holy water on it. I'm a big agree for staying calm under pressure. Yeah, I would agree with that. I'm very steadfast when it comes to, you know, this is my plan. This is what I'm going to do. And if something maybe goes wrong, I don't generally...
uh panic i think that's something that i take from my dad who has always always just remained calm as fuck under pressure and that's something i i really respected about him i i said that as though he passed away he's still alive i still have my father
Oh, it sucks getting older, though, because I've started thinking about that. I mean, I guess after I went to that funeral, I've started thinking about that. Yeah. You had older parents, though. That was basically a way of saying, yeah, Ted, no, you do have to worry about that. Dude, once again, once again, bro, this is this is stack. This adds up. Tucker, again, bringing out the facts.
Yeah. Sorry. I disregarded your feelings on that one, Ted. Sorry. My dad is 65. That's not bad. No, he just turned 66, actually. That's not bad at all. He's still got a couple years. He's reaching grandpa zone. Once you hit 70, it's like, okay, it's realistic that this person is a grandfather. Ted, you prioritize and plan tasks effectively, often completing them well before the deadline. Oh, my God. For this one, I did a hard disagree.
Yeah. I never know how long a video is going to take me. And I've been doing this shit for five years. I'm small disagree on this. I sometimes struggle with it. Oh, I'm terrible at it. It's insane how badly I am, how bad I am at this. Like, I don't think there's anyone in the world who does do shit well before the deadline. Like, that's not a thing. Is there a fucking person? I mean, I don't think I know a person that completes things well before the deadline.
Yeah, I mean, can you imagine if we had like YouTube videos of ours lined up for like a couple months in advance? That would be like God, it'd be heaven. I was about to say heaven, too. It'd be heaven. You ever think that if you go to heaven, there'll be a lot of it'll be Chinese like that. It's OK if it is. But I just wasn't expecting like like as in like if you're in like a city and everything like all the street signs are in Chinese and stuff. Well, no. Yeah. Well, I mean, like most.
People have been Chinese, statistically. Look at the facts. Did I ever tell you, Shalad, about how I went to an Easter Mass in Beijing? No, I didn't know you went to Mass there. I went to it when I was in China that one time. I went to, it was Easter, and there was two options that we had being in Beijing. It was to either, it was either to go to a mall and walk around a cool Beijing mall in the middle of the city, or
Or go to the Easter Mass that's happening right now because it's Easter. And I thought to myself, hmm. The one time, like I barely cared about church at this point. I was like, but what if it is Easter? Maybe I should, like something came over me. I was like, I need to go to Mass. What if it's, what if?
- Yeah, and I could have gone around and hung out at this mall and stuff. And usually in my experience, an Easter mass is like, I don't know, it's like an hour and a half long, something like that. I was at this Easter mass for three and a half hours. And everything, there was no English spoken during that time. - Okay, yeah. - It was all, they had TVs that would play captions. The captions were in Mandarin.
I sat there in this dark church while sitting there for an Easter mash, not a clue what they were saying for three and a half hours. And I was like thinking to myself, I was like trying to think of like an appropriate time the whole time on like when I could leave. Right. And I, but I didn't know what they were saying. So I didn't know if they were about to do something or if they were like,
I was yeah so I was stuck in an Easter mass that would have been tough in Beijing for three hours did you know if it was a Catholic church because if you take a wrong denomination okay good good because that would have gotten you there as well that would have gotten you to hell but sometimes I think about that like is there an America in heaven
I wonder if it's just like a copy of Earth. Or do you know like every language in heaven? Would that be heaven? That'd be kind of cool. I feel like that would be heaven to be able to speak to everyone. Yeah, that could be it. That could be it. But maybe the default is like, maybe the default is just like Mandarin. Does the debater have something to say about this? What if heaven's like telepathy?
You don't speak, but you can just know each other's thoughts. That'd be so creepy. I'd hate that. Yeah, everyone would just be like... I don't like that. Hello. Something about you saying that just made me think everyone was speaking so calmly. Wait a second. Why are you thinking about gay porn right now? That's not... No, but you'd be able to control what comes in or out. Oh. You could be like, oh, look at that person. I should say hi. And you could say hi, and they would receive a hi.
And like however they wanted to receive a high. So heaven is just Elon Musk Neuralink in the sky? Maybe. Maybe it is. And he's bringing that heaven to earth? He's killed a lot of monkeys. Yeah, probably. No, he has. He's killed a lot of monkeys with this Neuralink thing. Monkeys are apes. Like chimpanzees, so I suppose maybe apes? Yeah, chimps are not monkeys. Don't call them that. You'll sound dumb.
You're a dick. You're such a fucking dick. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'll tell you what. This one? No, no, no, no. No, because you saying that right now on the podcast is not like you giving me a little private letting me know. Like, hey, make sure you don't call chimps monkeys. You'll sound dumb. This is you to an audience of hundreds of thousands saying,
Ted, you just sounded dumb because you called chimps monkeys. No, I'm just giving you a little whisper in your ear, a little birdie in your ear. You're doing it on the podcast is what you're doing. Fine, but you know what? But we're keeping it in and everyone in the comments are going to be like, and I know they're going to do the opposite of this, but they're going to be like, man, Tucker was kind of an asshole on today's podcast. I don't know if I can be a Tucker lover anymore. As long as none of them can speak English, I'm calling them all monkeys.
Oh, man, dude. You got me really confused on what you were referring to when you first started talking about that. What? You got me really confused. Whoa, whoa. I know. Pause, pause, pause. I know. It sounded like you said the most racist thing that I've ever heard said. That had nothing to do with it.
That was like, I was like really worried. That had nothing to do with the previous discussion about Chinese heaven. Right. Yeah. No, this was about the monkeys. Oh, oh. This was about the monkeys. Yeah. This is about monkeys and chimps. I need to make that perfectly clear. Yeah. No, if monkeys couldn't speak, if they, well, what do we do with monkeys if they can speak English? You shoot them.
that's it really so how would you would you do you think you would respond well to the planet of the apes movies like do you think dude i haven't seen them and i've been thinking about watching them but i'm just like dude oh i would put my guns to work i would it would be fun so the whole thing that's going on and the reason why humanity fell i think is because like
The thing that made the apes smart is also what killed a bunch of humans. It's like super coronavirus. It's like a disease, right? Yeah, it's like a disease.
And the monkey's got the guns. I just wear a mask. I don't know if it's that easy. I think we're probably like someone with airborne going on here. You think COVID was canon in the Planet of the Apes universe? Do you think Caesar was going around with the fucking mask? He's talking to all the monkeys. He's like, you got to mask up, bro. Six feet. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Six feet. Caesar was the Fauci of the ape world. That's awesome.
One more question and then can we wrap up? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we can. I'm almost done. Yeah. You enjoy debating ethical dilemmas. Tucker definitely agreed with that hard question.
No, I like, Oh, so here's the thing. That's kind of a weird question where I like, I had to like go a few layers deep. Cause I was like, I do, but not with other people, you know? Yeah. That's fair. Like talking, like honestly talking with Ted about it is good. Cause like we've,
been around so long but debating with like random people is always disappointing oh you just got out of college doing that well yeah like in college i just let the kids say whatever i'm like yeah you can be right today all right you know i'm not gonna drop it on you it's all about the feelings it always becomes oh yeah you know i just can't do it logically it's just not worth my time
Yeah. I mean, well, ethical dilemmas are sort of in the category of being an emotional sort of thing. You know, like there's like there's a lot of there's a lot of emotions. That's why that's why sort of, you know, the trolley problem, all that stuff. They're not necessarily like they can't be really answered like logically because there is the emotional aspect in that.
Let's see, what do all of our personality types believe about the trolley problem? I think what's weird about this trolley problem thing is that why is there a fucking... Why does it come back around and hit the other people? It kills all of them anyways. This kills everyone. There's no problem here. This just sucks. Yeah, so the whole trolley problem, if you don't know what it is, you've got a trolley on a track. You've got one person laid down on the track.
And then you've got five people laid down on a different track. You're the guy controlling the gate. Can't stop the trolley. You've got to choose which one it goes to. Do you choose either the five people that it's already heading towards or do you divert it to kill one person? And the question is, is the blood on your hands or is it not? Yeah. And I think it's one of those things where I think most people would choose...
to divert it to kill the one person because you're saving five lives so your current average rating is that four people saved one yeah you know one person actually positive and then you know yeah you're evened out by that extra better moral kd ratio
Yeah, in terms of the moralistic KD ratio, you've saved more people than you've kind of killed. I think you do it. I think you do it. I think you pull the lever. Yeah, but then it gets, you know, people add little scenarios in it. And it's like, what if it's your mom on the trolley track? In which case, fuck those five people. I'm not losing my goddamn mom. I don't know. I choose what... Essentially...
It's one of those things where it's like, but then it comes a question of like, do you feel like you have the power to make those choices where you assume the agency over those people's lives? It's, uh, but what would you do, Shalai? Would you kill the one person? I would pull it. Yeah, pull it. Fuck them. And then I'd kill, you know, I'd kill everybody. You would start the trolley problem again so you could do the other five? Oh yeah, I'd say put that train back at the front.
Send it around again. Wow. How about that? Put that in your pipe and suck on it. Tucker, what would you do? I'd just kill the one. Why are we killing more than one person? Yeah. Like this right here, this doesn't look like a dilemma to me.
It's because, no, it's because if you don't, because your hands are clean if you don't purposefully divert it. Yeah, but there's going to be a security cam watching this thing and people are going to be like, what the fuck? Are you kidding me? That's true. People will be like, why the fuck didn't you pull that? Yeah, no, that's true. Yeah. Either way, you're getting canceled. Oh, yeah. You're not getting back on Twitch after this. Yeah, like I'm confused on what the...
Like, hmm. What if it was originally going towards the one person and you divert it towards the five? The five would be like, what the fuck are you doing? You're like, wait, I get it. It's the trolley problem. I have to divert it. And then you're like, what? It's like a bullet train. Towards the five, yeah. So bullet trains, you have very little time to think. Hmm. Hmm.
Yeah. What would you choose, Ted? I'd choose that one guy. I'm fucking killing that one guy. Unless it's my mom, in which case five of people die in trolley accident on the news tomorrow.
Yeah, really? If that's anybody, I know. I'll just let it go to the five. Also, the fuck we doing with trolleys still? Yeah, no, the trolley definitely... It's one of those things, too, where it's like a trolley is probably the slowest railed transportation. So it's like, I guess they're putting it... They're giving us a piece of transportation where we can make this choice. But also, getting killed by a trolley has got to be the worst way to die.
Yeah. Or me pushing you into the New York City subway track. Or... Oh, do you know what's worse? I'll tell you what's worse. Ready for this? One of those fucking asphalt pressers. Oh, yeah. Getting pressed into the road. With the cylinder that it rolls over. Yeah. Oh, I know. I know. Yeah. Because it breaks every part of your body. You have to feel every part of your body before it goes to the brain. From the bottom up. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you ever see the GIF of the dude trapped between the...
The train and the floor, and it runs him over, and he turns into a little windmill, and he just like... No, and I don't want to see that. That sounds horrifying. Thanks for watching, everybody. Thank you so much for this episode of Juggler's Sandwich. We've learned so much about our personalities and whether or not we kill people. Let us know what your personality is. Yeah, let us know, everybody. And comment your favorite personality and which one should get into heaven. Thanks. Chinese heaven.
