Impossible “Would You Rather” Questions 01:12:05

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Welcome to another round of Drawing Board or Miro Board. Today, we talk brainstorms with UX designer Brian. Let's go. First question. You thought you'd see everyone's idea in the team brainstorm, but you've got a grand total of one. Drawing Board or Miro Board? Drawing Board. In Miro, the team can add ideas now or later. And with privacy mode, we can keep them anonymous until they're good to share. Correct.

And

And he's wild. For a limited time, visit Miro.com slash brainstorm now and get a free business plan trial to unlock even more brainstorming tools like private mode and voting. That's M-I-R-O dot com slash brainstorm now. So, Schlatt, you're still in Japan? Is that what this is? I might have moved here. I might have pulled a little PewDiePie. Yeah? If you will. All you got to do is you got to adopt a couple pugs now. Yeah, I'd love to mush one of those in. Yeah.

Where in Japan are you right now? Are you in Tokyo? I'm in the big city, baby. Look. Oh, I'm in the big city. Wow. That's incredible. I was in an Itakaya last night in Shibuya, a little alleyway known for all of the really small bars. And I was talking to two Japanese salary men.

about sumo and baseball, and they were very amused with how much I knew. Oh, really? You're just like rattling off information? Yeah. Do a lot of them know English over there? It was the alcohol, really, that brought us together. That's usually how it works for most cultures. Just swigging some drugs, and you're all off to the races. Mm-hmm. You know, a good conversation that you could have had with those guys at the bar is, you know, giving them the classic...

mind game that we love to play on this podcast. A classic game of Would You Rather. Should I hit him with a little Would You Rather have unlimited bacon? Yeah, that would have broken their brains down, dude. That would have taken them out. It would have discombobulated. Because today on Chuckle Sandwich, we're doing another episode of Would You Rather. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich.

Okay, before we get into this game, Schlatt, I have a story that I need to tell you. Because, and I think that you as a Catholic man, as a boy that learned a lot about Catholicism, that one that's pretty much one with the Pope, you're gonna fucking love this. Well, I don't, I wouldn't consider myself one with the Pope. Yeah, you're fused with him, Dragon Ball Z style.

That would be terrifying because then I'd be talking to God because that's what the Pope is supposed to do. That is what he does. So basically, I just got back from the East Coast because I was traveling out there because unfortunately there was a death in my extended family. My aunt had died. I appreciate that. That obviously wasn't the funny part of the story. How did she die? She died from cancer.

dead from cancer that like kind of just it was it seemed like it was like under control but then it just there was you know how it was with cancer especially when you're older she was like 70 um and it's just like there was a complication and she passed away suddenly so i had to head out there for that um but you know when we were there there was this church that they were doing it at um where it was like basically the wake the place where you have the wake like the little funeral home and then the church are like right next to each other

And you know, we were already having kind of some issues with like the funeral procession people. Like they would just be kind of like standing around and they didn't like really provide tissues in the wake area thing. Like they were, it was like some, I remember one of my relatives said that they went up to the guy and they asked him for tissues and he was like, I just gave some to someone else. And I was like, dude, just get us more tissues. The people are crying here. Yeah.

But when it came time to, you know, go over to the, um, to the church, my aunt, my oldest aunt, my, my mom's oldest sister, she had this whole eulogy written for, um,

for her sister and she wanted me to read it at this at this funeral in this Catholic Church. I was like because she wasn't gonna be able to do it. She was gonna you know break down and I guess they just assumed that you know because I have the most public speaking ability I could do it. So I was like down for that. We get to the church and then we're notified that the priest at this church is only going to allow one eulogy to be spoken. What?

Dude, I don't fucking know. It was one of those things where I was like, they didn't want to mess up the order in which they do stuff or they were hearing too late that there was more than one two-minute eulogy that was going to be spoken. Really weird. This guy...

I didn't like this priest. He was like, he looked like a poindexter. He was one of those guys where I was sitting there and as the whole church thing was, and I haven't been to like a mass in like 10 years. And I'm watching this guy, I'm looking at him and I'm like, he's like kind of bald and he's got these glasses on. And I'm like, I don't know how holy this guy actually is. You know, he looks like he actually, he looks like he jerks off.

You know, I'm looking at this guy. I'm like, this motherfucker definitely jerks off. There's no way he doesn't. You know, probably there's some pretty unsavory stuff, too. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That, you know, I think we're both on the same page on what that might be. Luckily, luckily, luckily, the altar boy was about 80 years old. So so it was, you know.

Maybe there was some hidden ones. I don't know. Whatever the case, it gets to the point where it's time to do communion, right? And so far we know that this guy is pretty strict. He's a strict, he's like very by the book, strict guy. And we're going up there and you know, the whole family area, they start standing up, they're going over there. And I'm like, okay, I haven't done this in a while, but I'm going to go over there and do this. I guess it seems like the right thing to do. So we're getting in line. We're going up. Everyone's doing the, you know,

the body of Christ, you know, they do it, they go through. Gets to me. He does the body of Christ. I freeze. I have no idea what I am supposed to say when he does that. I've completely forgotten. It's been like 10 years since I've been to Mass. So, I've got my hands out like this and I'm like, I mumble something out. I'm like, thanks be to God. They change that. And the guy freezes.

And he looks at me in the eye and he says, "Have you ever received before?" And I look back at him and I say, "It's been a while." He puts the wafer back in the cup, puts his hand over it and then says, "May the Lord be with you. He denied me communion." - What? - He denied me communion. And I had to just be there, sit there and be like,

Okay, and I walked away the mother fucker's that's great And so I'm saying I'm saying this to my and you know, what's the funniest thing? Uh-huh. Is that all I had to do was say amen That's the only thing I had to do and the motherfucker

Didn't he didn't he didn't let me do it. He didn't let me Receive communion. It was the most ridiculous gonna say it. He knew he knew an amen wasn't coming out of you I know I know I was like cuz I was looking I was like, yeah, honestly, I think I kind of reached for this read I think I kind of reached for it too. And he was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? So for the rest of the day, I was like fuck this guy and

I like, and the rest of the family was like, fuck this guy too, because he was like not letting people do the, do the eulogy and stuff. They weren't letting him do any. It was like, he was an asshole. I spent the rest of the ride back. I'm like, I'm going to fucking buy the land of this churches on. I'm going to put a mosque there, dude. I'm going to put a mosque. I'm going to put a, I'm going to put a Chuckie cheese there. I'm going to put a Chuckie cheese for God damn sake. So I did something for this podcast and I'll be right back and see if I can find it. Okay.

Okay. I'll be right back. All right. He'll be right back. Wow. He's got on blue chinos. That's certainly a choice you can make. That's a new one. That's a new one. To call that a fashion era is a disservice to the term fashion. I don't know, man. I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job with my Gildan 5000. What is this? What's going on? On Amazon, Schlatt, there is communion bread that is available for purchase.

So on this episode of Chuckle Sandwich, I'm going to... Are you gonna eat the entire... Ted, Ted, I know you're upset, but there are better ways to deal with this. There's better ways to do... There's better... Ted, that's a big... I got plenty of communion bread now, buddy. Holy shit, that's a huge wafer. They're usually much smaller than that. What is that, a Protestant one? I don't know. I think it's into the sections.

Slant, would you be my pseudo-priest right now and say it to me? No! Fuck no! Say it! Say it! Absolutely not! Come on! Say it! Only a priest can do that! Do it. I'm not... I am removing myself from this. Slant, Slant, Slant. Just humor me here. What would the priest normally say? If the... Okay, so you're going up to the priest for communion and he would probably say something like the body of Christ. Amen. Amen.

No! And just like that, ladies and gentlemen, I have redeemed myself in the face of the Lord, in the face of God. Amen, baby. Double amen. I'm double blessed. Triple amen. Mmm. Yummy. Mmm. I know those aren't good. Honestly. That was fucked. And I know for a fact those aren't good. I mean, they don't really taste like anything, to be honest. Schlatt, can I ask you a question?

Yeah, yeah, go for it. Why do communion crackers or whatever the hell they are, like, why do they taste like shit? Like, why don't we just give out saltines? Why don't you make them a little tastier? Yeah, like a Ritz cracker. I'd imagine. Well, here's the thing. We can't afford a sleeve of Ritz for the fucking service? That's the body of Jesus Christ that you're eating. Okay? Okay.

Okay. Mm-hmm. If you have a problem with that, you should make a wrap snacks version of this. You have a problem with Jesus Christ. All right? So take that up to him, big guy. I have a problem. But have you ever heard of anyone doing that before in the church? Doing what? Being denied communion. No, I've never heard of that. Isn't that insane? I just never-

Oh my God, he was looking for a reason. He was totally looking for a reason. Yeah. It was crazy. It was unlike any... And at a funeral, no less. At a funeral, I'm... And he knew what part of the section of the... He knew what section was coming up. He knew what section was coming up. That was the family section that came up first. He knew I was part of the family of the deceased. And he was like, I'm not going to do this for this person. Are you a baptized Catholic?

confirmed. I don't think he can do that. What? Really? I don't think he can do that. Really? No one will deny you Holy Communion under any circumstances unless you were a manifest grave sinner or a known not Catholic. Sacred ministers cannot deny the sacraments to those who seek them at appropriate times.

I don't know. Maybe there's an argument that I said it wrong or something. You need to talk to the bishop, dude. You got a few calls to make. You need to get on the phone with the bishop. Dude, that's crazy you brought that, Tucker. That's crazy. So I'm in the right here. Yeah. Well, maybe he knew you were a grave sinner. He asked me if I'd ever received before and I said, it's been a while, but I'm confirmed. I got confirmed. And you know what? All you had to do was say amen. Amen.

It's one word, bro. Like, you didn't hear what they were saying when you were like one or two away? Well, you know how a mask goes. Everyone's mumbling. You can't hear anyone say anything. You know, when it's like, you know, I know the words to our father who art in heaven. How the name I came and come. I will be one on earth that is in heaven. Come on.

Give us this day our daily bread. This person from East Orthodox whatever says that priests are protectors of the gifts of the altar and that it's normal for them to deny communion to somebody who, for example, has skipped confession for four or five weeks. Oh, definitely haven't confessed.

Would you like to? Yeah, I don't even know if this... To be honest, I don't even know if this even really counts because it hasn't been blessed in the proper way. It's not. Yeah, that's not the body of Jesus right there. They're just eating him. If that was, though, let me tell you, if that was blessed by a priest, you've committed a big sin, I bet. Really? A grave sin? Sometimes I wonder if the priest, after the mass, goes back into the altar room and he just...

You know, if he's ever had a cracker, it's like if he's just like watching TV and he's got some queso and he's like, shoot, I don't have crackers. Use Jesus. You think he probably does. He probably does. These would probably go. These are a pretty good vehicle for queso as far as I'm tasting right now. He might have been worried that he would have been complicit in helping you commit further sins. Had he given it to you?

I don't know if that guy was thinking through all these options while he was... He was pretty checked out. Like, he wanted to be out there as soon as possible. He wouldn't let a two-minute eulogy be spoken. This guy did not care. Out of all the places for an employee not to care. I know, right? He was acting like... You know what he looked like?

You know who he looked like, Tucker? Fred? He looked like that one guy that worked with us at Staples that had kind of square glasses, was a little bit of a smartass. Bald? Bald, yeah.

It was Jeff? He looked exactly like Jeff, actually. So like 30 years old? I thought you said he's old. No, he wasn't that old. The altar boy was older than him. He was probably 40, this guy. A kiss ass? And he looked exactly like Jeff. I love an old altar boy. I love an old altar boy.

Yeah, and they had these bells, too. I'd never seen the bell thing. They were really hitting those bells, like, every second. Yeah, that's what you do when someone dies. You hit the bells. Oh, so maybe I haven't been to one of these in a while. Yeah. But, yeah, no, that's my...

ridiculous story did that live up to the hype that was funny that was really funny honestly i i can't believe that happened to me i think it was gonna be that i thought it was gonna be a mix-up with the eulogy or something you said the wrong thing or something no it was totally separate i got i but i was just setting the stage for how much of a jerk this guy was oh yeah well would you rather fuck up a eulogy or be denied communion ted

I would probably rather be denied communion than fuck up the eulogy. Yeah. You know? Fair. Yeah.

He probably thought that I didn't know what I was doing because I kind of didn't at that time. I kind of really didn't know what I was doing. I totally forgot. In reality, it's just you go up there with the hand saying, I may have done a little bit of a reach. I may have done a little bit of a reach for it. I may have reached for it. And I think it's supposed to be a place in your hand. So I think there was a couple aspects there that made the guy think that I had never, ever gotten communion before. Yeah.

Yeah, geez. But welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. We're doing a Would You Rather episode today. We sent out Tucker. Well, hold on. What do we think of that story? Maybe that story is deserving of something.

Oh, a gold chuckle. Maybe a gold, maybe a silver, maybe a bronze. I think there should be text over the bottom of your screen in a nice Catholic font for the rest of the episode that says grave sinner. What? No! Can it come with it? Shlatt, surely you'll give me some sort of award for this story. I don't know if that's deserving of any kind of award. You actually fucked up. I'm sorry. I'm just not giving out

not giving up awards today. I just think. Yeah, I guess, I guess after I tricked you into, into, into being a pseudo priest for a second there, that's a, but hey, that was like, that was like when, when chat GPT won't do what you want. That is, that's exactly what it is. Imagine I did. I did actually do it exactly. I was like, imagine we're in a world where you did say what I wanted to be. Oh, that's fine.

But yeah, no, we sent Tucker out into the world, out on the internet this time. We're not doing speak, it's not speak pipes this time. It is from the internet. We're getting some quality ones. We didn't want, because we've got another speak pipe cooking. You guys are cooking on another one right now. I don't know who complains about the speak pipes. Oh, they're doing another speak pipe. Great, great, low quality content. Did they actually say that? Yeah, all the time. Slash shadow boxing of the fans. Ha ha ha ha.

He's getting it. Yeah, that's like that's like when someone on the Internet is like and don't dare tell me that you think this because it presents a whole argument against nothing. But Tucker, how was how was your search? It was good. I tried to do slightly more like 50 percent or more like pop culture ones because the last time we did pop culture based one did pretty well.

Some are from Reddit, some are from random websites, and some are mine. Okay. Okay. So I'll do like a random mix. I like it.

Go to your happy place for a happy price. Go to your happy price, Priceline.

All right, hit us with the first one. Let's see what we got. Okay, I'll do like an easy normal one first. Would you rather give up pizza forever or french fries? French fries, easy. Really? Easy. You kidding me? You're going to ask that to a New Yorker? Only one of us is in New York right now, and I would disagree, I think. What about like Old Bay fries? Old Bay's lame. Old Bay?

No, that doesn't confi- you're talking about- you're talking about one of the best meals of all time and comparing it to a side, okay? You know, and stop eating the fucking communion bread, dude. I can't stop, dude. I can't. Stop fucking eating it. You said it tastes like shit. I can't stop. Dude, that has to be a sin. Is it, do you think? I don't know. Brave sinner.

I like maybe I'm just engaging in body and blood more so than the average person. That's not body and blood. What do you think is in here? It's not the blood of Jesus Christ. I'm telling you that. That's some nice soft, dude. No, it's soft. Okay, fine. This is very easy. This is very easy. I would say pizza. Yeah. Oh, you're saying pizza, too.

I was hoping one of you would defend. I'm not even a real New Yorker, Tucker. This isn't even a question, bro. Well, it's more just the disrespect you're showing French fries. You didn't even think about it. I don't give a fuck about French fries. Are you kidding me? What are you thinking? When you think of French fries, Tucker, I mean, it's just like... I just think of delight. Okay, but you're telling me that you're not going to go back to acting and you're not going to have like a... You're going to say, oh, I can't have spicy anymore because I like French fries too much. Have you had Sriracha French fries? They're really good.

You're going to walk into Sereno's, our hometown pizza place, and you're going to order French fries and walk out and not feel like you've denied yourself of a pure happiness? Is that what you're trying to tell me? All I'm asking for is that you at least think about it. No, I thought about it. It's just that the process of thinking about it, the manner in which I had to go through the logic was quite quick.

You know, it wasn't that difficult of a question. Ted, you know what? I'm going to give you an award right now. Chuckle Sandwich Pizza Defense Award.

Boom. Right there. What did you just say? Pizza defense? Pizza defense award. Oh, okay. Okay. Nice. Nice. What rank is that award? It has to fall within one of the ranks. Yeah, this falls somewhere between the gold and the bronze, but not quite. It's dubious whether it's above or below silver. Shall we give it a sapphire rating? Maybe a sapphire rating. I don't know. Sapphire or ruby. Choose one.

Ruby. Ruby, like pepperoni. Ruby red like pepperoni. Yeah, I'm the pizza defense lord. Dude, Rose's Pizza, back in fucking Penn Station.

I'm honestly offended with you, Tucker. Like, if anyone would have been, I just didn't think you were the kind of guy to go to bed for French fries. I come from a very Irish family. Potatoes are running deep in this bloodstream, dude. If anything, that should elicit a trauma response for you at an ancestral level. No, no, dude. French fries come in so many different varieties because pizza comes in a lot of different varieties, but you only want New York pizza.

All the other pizzas can just get thrown the fuck out. Have you tried a Detroit style? It's pretty good. That doesn't even exist. I'm sorry. It does exist. Yeah, you got Detroit style, Chicago style. Nuh-uh. I don't even fuck with that, Detroit. That's bullshit. What about Florida style?

Doesn't exist. The fuck do you mean Florida style? What do you mean? Dude, you haven't had a sloppy Gator Everglades before? You've never had a sloppy Gator Everglades? Come on.

I just gave you the pizza defense award, man. I did, which is why I feel like I have the right to be talking about this in this way. You're making shit up. You're making shit up. I don't even know if Detroit's real. You looking that up, Tucker? Oh, I was looking up Florida pizza to kind of get some images. No, it's not real.

There's one with a Bud Light on it. There's not. There's not. I don't even believe Detroit style, California style should even be on the fucking list. You got New York. You got the deep dish. You got Neapolitan, Sicilian, and that's about it as far as I'm concerned. I mean, that pizza looks pretty good from what's showing up. A lot of it's empanadas. So it's like a calzone almost. It's like a deep fried pie. Wait, that kind of looks kind of good. So this like is a thing. Bullshit.

Inside out pizza inside out pizza. Oh, yeah, dude Everglades Everglades Gator style inside out pizza, man Detroit it's not on the list California is not on the list. I don't fuck with this. Okay, but I'm on the side on the piece of it I'm on the side of pizza here. There you go. Yeah, and you know, I have to respect that. Thank you Thank you. And for that flat and for you giving me respect for that. I

I'm going to give you a bronze chuckle. Can you stop dishing these awards out willy-nilly? I'm giving myself a gold award. Gold chuckle. No, you can't do that. There's no self-giving awards. Nope. Nope. Denied. Vetoed. No, you have to veto in the first five seconds and you just didn't catch on. No, no. That's not how it works. That's playground rules. It's absolutely a five-second rule.

Well, Emma will verify it. No, no. Okay, Emma. I'm telling you, there's going to be an award up there. If it's coming down right now, Emma, if it's coming down right now, send it the other way. Send it the other way. Nice. Okay, there you go, Emma. No, it's sent the other way. All right. I just don't believe that. Let's move on. Let's move on. I love giving editors more work to do. It's like one of my most fun things to do. I'm upside down right now.

Really? What the hell? Dude, nice.

Okay, Tucker, what's the next question? Okay. Stop looking up french fries. I'm on the other. He's looking up his favorite style of french fries or something. Well, I'm just like, wow, look at all these options. That's fantastic. I could go for one of each. Wow. I'd be upset. Listen, I'll say this. I'd be upset I'd never be able to eat Andy Capps anymore because hot fries would fall under that umbrella, but it's still not worth it for pizza. Truffle fries? Yes.

You're telling me that would never grace your lips again? No.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, it sucks. It sucks. But I also don't think that tater tots count as French fries, according to this image that's showing up on screen. We should actually save that for another episode where we do like, what is a sandwich? What is a fry? Oh, we've been down that road plenty of times, Tucker. Trust me. We went down that road early on in Chuckle Sandwich, and I won that conversation. And I won that conversation big time, dude, because I successfully argued

that a hot dog was a sandwich. Well, there was actually a big ruling recently in this... What? In the fucking International Court of Sandwiches? What are you talking about? Yeah, hold on, hold on. Let me find it. I had an associate of mine send it to me. Another gold star. Boom. No, stop. Okay.

You're, you're, for the sake of the... You didn't veto it. I said no immediately, actually. No, you have to say veto. No, no, stop making up rules. Okay, Schlatt, I beseech you, for the sake of the magic of one of these awards being given to each other,

i would i would hold back from this road you're about to go down because think about in the future when i do give you a golden chuckle like i did in the past how the smile on your face the light in your life that that brought you i appreciate that thank you you know what if my golden chuckles are still up there i i formally resigned them get them out i appreciate that i appreciate that get them out um so tucker's pulling up this article from the hell side note

Yeah, you want to read this out loud? Talk about this headline? Well, yeah. An Indiana court ruled that tacos are Mexican-style sandwiches because there was like a zoning thing where they wanted to sandwich shop in this place. And then a taco place wanted to go in. So the court ruled that tacos are sandwiches. So this is a legal precedent that has been set up in Indiana court. Oh, we can move on to the next Would You Rather, though.

Yeah, okay. I don't want to entrench you in this. That's good. It's good, though. No, thank you for that. There's a court ruling that's backing some of that up. Okay. So what do you got next? All right. Would you rather have, and now this, you got to think like peak hype for the show. Would you rather have the pear phone from iCarly or Goddard from Jimmy Neutron? Oh, wait. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa, dude. Got absolutely Goddard. Yeah, I'm starting to feel like Goddard might be the one that I would want, dude. In a world where where the pair phone exists, that's like a shitty Alibaba ripoff of the. You'd have to have. Yeah, you'd have to completely remove the iPhone in that world. Yeah. Yeah. Have any kind of. Yeah. Well, no. Assume it's the iCarly world, maybe.

Well, that would, I don't know, that would negate the Jimmy Neutron one. Do I get the tech foot? Do I get all the other iCarly gadgets? Yeah, I guess, would you rather have iCarly gadgets or the Goddard from Jimmy Neutron? You're speaking to like a scholar on the subject of iCarly right now, so...

No, I'd still opt for Goddard, dude. Dude, he flies. He's a fine dog. But that was like 2004. And if you've ever seen his mouth, if you've ever seen his mouth, he's got to have a nasty bite to him, too. Like, you look up a picture of Goddard right now for me, Tucker. Would you, my dear? That would...

It's like spikes he's got in his mouth. Look at this shit. Look at this guy. Oh, that's going to hurt. Ouchy. Yeah. Yeah, dude. He's running on fusion energy.

Yeah, he probably is. That's how Jimmy's head got so fucking big. He's hanging out with that nuclear reactor. Yeah, dude, he's got cancer in the head. Oh, no, you're right. Yeah. Oh, whoa, he is real.

so he doesn't look that cool though now you gotta have god you're making it sound like a pair phone is any any any more ergonomic than goddard if schlatt whipped out iphone 4 level quality build pair phone that works custom os well we're not talking about iphone 4 level quality like that would take his icarly scholarship to levels no one's reached

Dude, pair phone with iPhone 4 quality craftsmanship? Yeah. Oh, my God. All glass. People don't even remember. Half the people watching this never got to feel an iPhone 4 in its peak. My God. Well, coming off the iPhone 3 and the iPod Touch that were so rounded, and you had this full glass stainless steel. It was like, whoa. Oh, man.

You had one, Ted. You had one. I did have one. Well, honestly, I don't know if I had the phone. I had the iPod. I had the iPod of that era. Oh, yeah. The iPod turned into one. I was doing the two-phone maneuver. I was doing Money Tree. You know, I had the iPhone for when I'm on Wi-Fi so I can get on all the apps. And then I've got the flip phone for when I want to actually get anything done. You know? I like that. When I want to text people, when I want to do other nonsense. You know?

That's fair. That's fair. Yeah. All right. Lock it in. What's the next one, Tucker? Next one. Would you rather be, and this is like you're going to be them in their universe. Would you rather be Danny Phantom or Timmy Turner? Timmy Turner. But hold on. Hold on. Let me just put this out there. Timmy Turner is like a little ugly kid. Danny Phantom is kind of hot. You got to compare.

- He's like 17, he's kind of hot, he pulls. - That's a crazy first point to make for Tucker. Dude, that's such a crazy first point for Tucker. Now hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on! - Well you'd be stuck at like 11 years old. - Timmy's a little ugly little bastard though. You think about how he's-- - You got little fairies running around with you. I'm not even saying that derogatorily.

You got two little fairies that follow you around and do whatever you say. Yeah, but like the only reason why they're there is because you're being... There's like the universe is detected that you are receiving so much childhood trauma that they need to offset it with something. Like the universe is like there is a...

There's an organization of mythical creatures that is there to offset childhood trauma. And they are sending it to you, which means that you're getting hit. You're getting yelled at. You have a teacher that hates you and has a conspiracy that you have mythological creatures. Your parents are essentially...

uh not home given the amount that you they hire the same babysitter that abuses you boho boho i'm just saying if i had two little fairies things would be a lot different yeah but there's so many rules though remember dude think about the rules i think timmy turner gets up to a bunch of a bunch of fun hijinks with those fairies i'm just saying

Yeah, but the most fun hijinks are listed out specifically as illegal in da rules. And then you're going to have Sergeant Schwarzenegger show up. Then George Armstrong shows up and you get to look at his fucking chiseled body every now and then. Schlatt, think about this. You're a ghost boy. You've got a goth girlfriend, okay? Okay, okay. And when you're a teenager and you have ghost powers, a goth girlfriend...

Come on. I just don't know. I think the fairies would be more fun. Silver hair. Silver hair. Goth girlfriend, guy's got silver hair. That's a good combo. Okay. I will say this. The silver hair, the eyes too, striking. Striking. Yeah, what if your green eyes match your green firepower thing?

But I can just say to Cosmo and Wanda, and depending on the season, that little fucking piece of shit, poof, I can say, make me hot. And then they'll wave their magic wand and I'll be hot. Okay. Now think about this. If you are Danny Phantom, you have been like, there's an experiment that's changed your body forever. You're Ghost Boy forever, right? You're only...

Like, you effectively never had fairly odd parents if you choose to be Timmy Turner. Because when you turn 18, you forget that you ever had fairly odd parents. Yeah, but the effects can still... So across the whole... No, no, no, no, no. The effects are still present, though. Okay, so what are these... You might forget about Cosmo Wanda, but if you say, if you wish for a lightning-fast metabolism...

Fuck. You'd still have it. Wouldn't that be a great world to live in? Can we unpack that? Yeah, let's unpack that. No. What's that about? Because that would be my wish, too. It...

It would be my wish as well. Are we all just overweight on this podcast? Is that what's going on? You do have a lightning fast metabolism. I don't, though, is the thing. I don't. Oh, dude. Not anymore, man. I wanted to be the shit out of those fucking twigs at school that just wolf down food, wolf down Pop-Tarts all day. My God. Must be real nice. The Marine Corps makes that even more apparent. Those guys eat McDonald's for dinner. Before the PFT, they're smoking a pack of fucking cigarettes, and they run a perfect time.

Yeah, but they're going to live to 51. Yeah, that is true. The light at the end of the tunnel for me, the thing that brought me solace is I knew it would catch up to them. Once they get old, it's not going to be the same. They're in for a rude awakening. Maybe we should all make an agreement amongst men here that we're all going to get hot.

What do we think of that? What do we think of that idea? What if we all just were like, hands in, we're all going to get hot, right? Ted, I know Schlatt doesn't... He's not going to break this to you, but you're the only one here that's not hot already. Whoa. What the fuck? I know. That's why you've been changing it up. You're trying to finally get some girls or something. All these new clothes. Like...

It's time to actually make some changes. I didn't want to be the one to say it. You want to raise your right hand for me for one second, Tiger? Raise my right hand? Or your left hand? Raise your left hand. Okay. What's that on your wrist? It's a friendship bracelet. Yeah, sure. And who wanted that most? Dude, wait, can I tell us, can I give you a funny anecdote? Yeah. You'll like this. No, you'll like this. It seems like it might be a bit of a diversion from the point I'm about to make here. No, it's directly related.

Okay. All right. I've been going to the same gym for three years. I've never been asked by anyone to spot them. Since I've had this on my wrist, I've been asked five separate times by five separate individuals. Because you're hot now. Yeah. Because you're hot now.

And who was the shepherd that led you to that pasture, my friend? Who was the shepherd? You gave it to me, dude, and it transferred its powers. I was the shepherd that led you to those green pastures, my friend. And how do you feel now these days? I feel so good. Okay.

So let's move on. And also, I would be Danny Pham. Shalit, you would be fairly odd parents? Yeah. Okay, fine. What do we got next, Tucker? Would you rather lose the ability to put ice in a drink or seasoning on your food? Oh, ice in a drink. Really? Yeah.

Got to be. So, Tucker, you're you're walking on your confusion is walking along a very unstable ground that may have you identified as the whitest person in the world. OK. You value cold drink over flavor in general. I went to Europe once and there was no ice to be found anywhere.

And yet they live. But do they? Not like we do. Yes. We thrive here. Because they put spices on their food. I would give it up. I would give it up. Really? You give up Indian food? Yeah. What?

Really? You'd give up a spicy finger pizza? Really? You'd give up an Old Bay fry? Well, I think maybe you should define spices. Any spices. Are these spices, like, are we talking, you can't, like, the food can be made with whatever goes in it, but you can't season it afterwards? I think the harder was just thinking about salt and pepper. I was thinking anything that would be in your spice cabinet. Salt, pepper, Old Bay, a barbecue rub,

Ginger, cinnamon. Yeah, ginger, cinnamon, onion powder. Cloves. That simply won't do. It's not going to work, dude. Chili. That simply won't do. Bay leaf. Anything that would make a steak taste good. What? A steak with butter is all you need. You can't make sauce anymore. No, your life is void of a lot of good things. To not season a food is to not live with the food. That's like...

I can deal with the, cause you know what, Tucker, if I really needed a drink to be cold, I'm just putting that shit in the fridge for like a half an hour. And then I've already circumvented your little game. It ain't the same. That is true. It ain't the same. What do you mean? It's cold. Your whole argument was, was predicated on, on Europe being this backwater place. It doesn't have ice. They don't. I, I, I won't deny that that doesn't suck. Like obviously not having ice in a drink.

Yeah, air conditioning situation is pretty grim there, too.

If it's actually warm, that's terrible. But you can just like, dude, half the time I'm on DoorDash or something and I'm ordering food and there's an option. Chick-fil-A has the option to get your drink with light ice. Always do that. Because if you get a shit ton of ice, yeah, if you get a shit ton of ice, then the drink gets watered down by the time you're halfway done with it. Like, there's a healthy balance to be found, but.

You know, like as long as the drink's cold. I have the exact opposite opinion. You put more ice in it? I would always, I would prefer an option that says extra ice. Okay, so you're just, so what we're discovering right now is you're just a motherfucking ice hog. You're a fucking ice hog. McDonald's changed their thing. They have their clear plastic cups now. It has a little ice level for like the employees to see how much ice to put in it.

It says like only ice up to here. But I want the whole thing ice because I want my drink as close to freezing as possible. It gets watered down though, bro. You know what? I know exactly what this is, Shlatt. He's got like a traumatic relationship that goes back to the first time he ever had an iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. Because that's all ice. Because that's all ice.

And I was present for the first time he had that. You actually blessed me with it. Yeah, I gave it to him. I didn't even really drink coffee that much. I don't know why we got those. I think it was just like we were just feeling it at the time or something. Tucker, the entire audience here is going to be up in arms about your opinions so far. Yeah, I know. You've got some really... They'll actually side with me.

maybe we'll have a little i don't know if people are going to agree with their good graces will extend that far this time they're good graces they don't have any they just get on reddit and scream you are absolutely in their good graces right now yeah tucker you're on their good side right now and now you're now you're going after them just that's a dangerous route to go you know wait till they find out who you really are maybe we should maybe we should move on yeah maybe we should okay

Would you rather find out that the pyramids were built by aliens or that mankind existed before, collapsed and restarted? Like this is not the first humanity. Well, I mean, okay. Well, Tucker, you know exactly what you're doing. No, you know exactly what you're doing with this fucking thing right now. He knows what he's doing, Schlatt. You know why he knows what he's doing?

Because I'm obviously going to choose the humanity collapse before because then that means that we're following the Halo timeline right now, baby. Halo's real. Halo's real. I knew it. That means the Halo fucking lore is real, dude. That means in 400 years we're going to have Spartans running around killing terrorists, man.

So what do you think your answer would be here, Shalak? Because I think mine would be, we have a history and we need to uncover it. And the humans were running away from the flood, but they were fighting the forerunners at the same time. I don't know. Both are very interesting timelines to be in because one of them includes another civilization. You know, why would they build that? How do we get in contact with these fuckers? We're probably closer than we think.

And then that could, that could bring in a renaissance in a way, or, you know, maybe we wind up all dead. But then on the other hand, you got down the other hand, you got, sorry, I just hear the maid outside fluffing a fucking bag. I can't, I can't think.

If you're trying to uncover human secrets, that's pretty fun. Human secrets. People think we had previous technologies to build those things. We modulated sound to cause things to float and shit. Yeah. That's just what some people say. I think that could be cool as well. I love that. That's just what some people say.

It eliminates your need to back it up in any capacity. People are saying it. It's just the word on the street. Rumor has it. I heard it on Rogan, dude. I heard it on Rogan at some point. Dude, Tucker had a Rogan phase. Well, it was really his clips were going so hard. When YouTube Shorts started, dominated by Rogan.

Oh, yeah. And I didn't have TikTok, so obviously I was just eating that shit all day. So which one do you think you would want, the Enchilada? Give me the past civilization. Give me the past civilization, and I'm banking on we discover some old fucking world technology. Yeah, that'd be cool. I like that. We could harness it, you know?

It's just what some people say. And then guess what we'll do with that technology, Slatt? You know exactly what we're going to do. You know exactly what we're going to do. What are we going to do with this advanced technology? We're going to be able to do things that we would never have been able to do. Well, I mean, you know, when the sun gets big enough...

I don't think it, I don't think we need to do it now, but I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I just say shit. Once that sun gets, gets big enough and in a billion or so years, we might move that fucker. I'm just saying. Yeah. We're going to move the earth. We're going to move that earth. Yup. And it's ridiculous that you don't think it can be done in a billion year timeframe. I think in a billion year timeframe, it could be done. I remember I, I, I,

I recanted my, Charlie and I both recanted our previous thing on the Christmas episode, I think is when we were talking about. As you should have. That was a gold star moment. Gold chuckle. It was a gold chuckle moment. I would say one of my past gold chuckle moments was when I, and Tucker, you weren't there for this, but you may have seen the clip, when I was arguing that a hot dog was a sandwich, and then Schlatt made the point, and he said, well, it's connected bread. And then I said, well, riddle me this, Schlatt.

"What the fuck is a sub?" And then I left them both speechless. It was, oh, if I could make him build a machine and just live in that moment for just one more 10 second spree, maybe I'd be happy again. - Are you unhappy? - So what's the next question, Tucker? - Would you rather lose all streaming services, including YouTube, or the ability to search on Google?

So we just switched to Bing? No, no, you can't. Searching on the internet's out. You can't look shit up. Yeah, you can't look shit up or you can't watch internet TV. You'd be back to cable. I'd be out of a job also. Don't take just... Look at it from a consumer perspective. Okay. YouTube is all I watch. So this would weigh pretty hard on me. Also, I could just say, hey, can you Google this?

to someone? Is that a loophole? But think every time, you know, you're like, hey, yeah, you look at your wife. Can you look that up? And she doesn't like, OK, can you like refine it? And you're like you're like talking to somebody on what you want them to look up. It's a pain in the ass. No, that's fair. That's fair. But I can't imagine a world without Hermitcraft. You know, I think that will know. Hold on. I can't relate to that, Tucker, because I and I are perfect Googlers and we know that you struggle with this.

No, I'm a good Googler, just not on camera. The pressure's on, dude. I crack under the camera, dude, when I'm typing. Yeah, worst Googler on Chuckle Sandwich goes to Tucker, but neither of us will get tested. Well, I've never lived in a world without the ability to search something online, but I have lived in a world where I don't. I only watch cable. I don't think that's a world I want to go back to, though. I guess it would force me to go to the movies more, which would be kind of cool.

Because I like an excuse to go to the movies. Fuck, though, man. I'm severely, severely underestimating how many times I fucking search shit every day. Yeah. Like, you're talking no Google Maps. No weather. No weather, no restaurants. Do you know what's crazy about this? Is that it's like, it just shows how brain, how fucking brain rotted we are. Is like...

Would you rather have no access to iCarly on streaming platform or being able to search the indexed source of all human information across the entirety of history? And I think I would choose the latter, to be honest, now that when you put it like that. Yeah, that is true. That's a very erudite way of looking at it, Ted. Erudite. So that's opposite of Luddite?

No. What is erudite? Logical, kind of smart, smart-alecky. Oh, you call me a smart-aleck? Come on. Having or showing great knowledge or learning. How do you pronounce that? Erudite? Erudite? Erudite? Erudite? Tucker, get the fucking pronunciation. Shut up, shut up. Erudite.

- Mm. - Very tight. - Yeah, it's like one of those things where it's like, I don't know if Tucker used Google when he started, until he started working for Chuckle Sandwich.

I think that maybe we were like, we're going to have you Google stuff and you were like, oh, okay. I pull out like an idiot's guide to Googling. Googling for dummies? That the squiggly letters try to sound it out. Well, that's what it's there for. Instead of hitting the speaker. Yeah, for like scholars, not for you, dude. Sorry, dude. I'm about to have a degree. Oh my God, dude. Wow.

Yeah, no, I'll give up. I'll give up internet streaming, I guess. I guess. Fuck. Well, he said it doesn't count. I won't be keeping up with B-dubs anymore, man. I'll never see another Redstone with B-dubs. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, that's unfortunate. No more Mr. Beast video. But, you know. Oh, God, no. I choose all of history. Yeah, history is probably better.

All right. What's next, Tucker? Would you rather make crime never exist again? Crime leaves humanity. But in order to make it disappear, you have to commit the worst crime or let it continue to exist. Do you want to let me know what the worst crime is first before? I think that's a personal thing.

I think everybody has their own personal... I don't think the worst crime is a personal thing. I think it would affect a lot of people. I think Hitler probably ranks among the highest, you know, what he did. You could do one more Hitler and that's it. Then we're done with everything for eternity. But, I mean, you took that to the extreme. What if it works? What? What if the Hitler this time works? Like, what if he does it? What if he wins?

And there's no crime because it's a police state run by Nazis. What if Ted does Hitler's... What if he does Hitler's schtick better? What if Schlatt does Hitler's schtick better? Ted, you're a grave sinner, so it's kind of on brand for you already. I bet Hitler would be better at that than me. I think Hitler was more than a sinner, to be honest. I feel like there's worse crimes than what Hitler did, though. Can't we, like...

Like, at possible. I'm not saying that what he did wasn't bad. Obviously, that was one of the most horrifying human atrocities ever done. But let me think. Let me think. Well, yeah, I feel like maybe some sort of like xenocide or something like that. Whoa, what is that? We're just looking up words today. Look at this. Yeah. I don't know. Xenocide. The killing of a stranger or foreigner.

No, but like the genocide of an entire alien species. Oh. Yeah. Like what if we like find like a bunch of little fluffy little intelligent llamas and we're like we got our star destroyer over that thing and we're like, what if we just fucking glass this planet? It's all relative. What if we went full covenant, dude? I fucking, when I was a kid on my big wheel, I used to seek out ants and smush them.

You know, they didn't have that much to eat. Your big wheel, dude? That's crazy. What?

That's crazy. On the big wheel too. Yeah, dude. There were dents in that big wheel. I'm telling you. It was not a smooth ride. Well, yeah. It was also a gamble though too because some of them would have been saved by the dents. Because it's got like the tire treads on it. Some of them would have been saved. It was a lottery. You were essentially child Thanos. It was. It was. And look, if we found an alien planet and we glassed it...

I wouldn't care. That's not a sin to me. So what counts as a sin to you? The killing of innocents is not a sin? Ted, you're going down a very interesting path here as a meat eater, you know? Well, they're tasty though. Exactly. What if those fucking aliens are? Just saying. Just saying. Even a plant species on Mars would be an alien species. I care more. I care more about humans. It's like that one Twilight Zone episode.

to serve man where those guys came and they were like we're here to uh we're here to serve the human race and we're going to show them all how to do things and they improve their technology but then at the end they were like trying to get a bunch of people on a ship and then one guy managed to translate one of their books and they were like wait to serve man it's not a book about serving the human race it's a cookbook yeah that's crazy

As you're just fucking casually still eating the fucking wafers of Christ. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. I said it again. Let's put it this way, Shlatt. Would you rather have no crime ever again, but you have to ignite Tsar Bomba

Over New York City or just life continues our bomb is is the yeah, it's the largest nuclear weapon nuclear nuclear nuclear Nuclear weapon ever detonated or something or it's ever made big big big boy over severe damage extended to 150 mile radius or Let crime keep going, you know

So in this current version of the world, my net worth is high and my clout is up and I probably wouldn't change a fucking thing. Okay. All right. All right. Sorry. You know, I probably, you know, I'd rather not set off a giant nuke in order to stop crime altogether. Yeah. I think we can work on it.

Think we can work on it. Is that the fucking Cape Cod? Are they launching a nuke on the Cape? I don't know why Quora's got to fucking... It's a little too close to home there. Yeah, it doesn't hit the vineyard, though, so we're good. Yeah, it'd be windy, though. Yeah. Doesn't hit Worcester, either. A little weird. Yeah, if anything, we should drop it on Springfield, let it consume Worcester. Take it on the whole South Shore, though. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah. All right, next question, Tucker. Would you rather have to skip everywhere...

or correct everyone? Probably skip everywhere because it would become a quirky little thing. It's like, oh, this guy skips. But there's no way that you can defend being that guy who corrects everyone. You know, there's no defending that. Skipping is also a very energy efficient way of locomoting as long as it was a little more normalized, I think. Is it really? Yeah. Have you skipped recently? It feels amazing.

but i know that's skipping around tokyo is this like a a studied fact that it's a if there's an efficiency to it i feel like there's definitely oh this is an opinion no some people say that some people say that it's energy efficient some people say you know you'd think though that we would be doing it as a species if it was that's not necessarily true

Tucker. What have you just found? He brought up Prancercise. Prancercise. It's a subsidiary of Skipping, I think. Wow. It doesn't look like Skipping. But does it look efficient? No. It looks like when I try to get down the stairs really fast.

I think people skipping everywhere should be a thing. I think it's fun. Like, have you? Yeah. I've skipped a couple times in the past few years. And every time I'm filled with joyous whimsy. Yeah. No, I've done some skipping every now and then. One time, sometimes I like to, when my parents are visiting.

I'll do, we'll be in public or something and I'll, and my dad hates it when I do this. Because he, mostly because he doesn't have a calf. But I'm like, dad, skip with me. And I grab his hand and I start trying to skip with him. Sometimes he does it. You say he doesn't have a calf? So what's the next question, Tucker? Would you wrap? I'm joking. He does, I'm just joking. He doesn't have a calf. He had like a disc thing when it,

Something went wrong in his back where he had a disc that was hitting a nerve and it his whole calf Atrophied so when he steps on a lego with his with his left leg he can't lift his leg up and he has to walk he has to walk through the hole has to walk he has to see it through if he steps on a lego on accident a man committed to every step well just half of them All right, what's the next one Tucker running out of running out of these that's ridiculous

I'm joking. I still got so many more dudes. Would you rather be 10 inches tall but able to withstand 50 tons on top of you or 10 feet tall as a normal person? This is the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard in my life. Well, pick a side and see what the other person says. Would you rather be 10 inches tall and extremely tensile? I don't... Who the fuck cares? Who the fuck...

10 inches tall and ability to withstand 50 tons? Yeah, basically like an incredibly strong 10 inch tall person. So is the tall person just like incredibly fragile? Are we operating on the last time that someone was almost 10 feet tall because he died when he was 22? Yeah, exactly. Dude, I'm going to be 10 inches tall then.

No, you're not. See, Schlatt was going to pick the other one. I could get hit by a meteor and I'm probably going to live to 200 years old. I could control nations as this little man. No, you can't. No one's going to listen to you. Oh, that's the fucking 10-inch man speaking. Yeah, and then I'll say, oh yeah, try to kick me, asshole. Okay, if you got kicked. I could stop a tank. No, you couldn't. You would still fly. Your body would just be able to withstand it.

I could kick you in. So no one can stop me. You'd be easy to kick. You'd bounce back eventually. But I could kick you a football field away, dude. Stand your ground, Ted. I just don't think that being 10 feet would be... Thank you for the support, Tucker. I don't think that being 10 feet would be very reasonable. Every doorway too big...

Too big every doorway. Maybe an elephant's doorway. Maybe a doorway for an elephant. But I'm not an elephant. I'm a boy. You don't have any. You have no semblance of regular human life. At least there's housing for me. Give me an American Girl doll house and I'm set, dude. Easy housing. Cheap. Yeah.

$200 and you're set for life. If you're 10 inches tall, a fully grown human at 10 inches tall, they're going to put you in a box and lock you up and run experiments on you. No, because I'm a human boy and I have rights. I have rights. You don't have rights. If the CIA doesn't want you to have rights, you don't. Tucker, clarify. Do I not have rights, Tucker? Do I not have rights? Hold on. I'm looking it up.

Would you have rights if you were 10 inches tall? Dude, what do you know about... They're protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. They're protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. That would be a hate crime if you were to do anything to me, Schlatt. It would be a hate crime. I just think the government wouldn't really care. They do. They have a whole act about it. You think the government cares about your rights, Ted? It's awfully optimistic of you. They at least got some laws. They got some laws, dude. Look, I'd be the world's best porn star.

At 10 feet tall, dude. Oh my God. This, the scenes I'd film. Some could say the same for 10 inches. Yeah. I was going to say, some could say the same thing the other way. I'm just like, I was trying to think of like examples of it. Just crawling around. What would, what would 10 inch you could go all the way in?

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, actually. That might be a better... Yeah, like... I could do some... Yeah, I could like do a bunch of crazy stuff. Basically like this. Be like this tall. Yeah, someone of that height if you put them in the correct... Okay, and you're saying that I'm like proportional 10 feet tall or am I just like... Just like you shrunk. Let's just shrink you down.

Oh, yeah. No, I'd be able to go to... I would be one of the greatest men alive. You'd appeal... You'd be a more mainstream porn star if you were 10 feet tall. I guarantee it. Although, although you're telling me if I... If you're telling me that I'm proportional as 10 inch man, then I'm proportional and same health level as 10 foot man. I would... I would be a warlord. I would.

I would be a warlord. I would be biblical. There's a biblical height. That's Goliath. That's Goliath. I don't think you've earned the right to talk anything about religion this episode after being denied religion. What do you mean? And now currently munching on a bag of 100 fucking church wafers. They're not the real ones.

They didn't make me sign in with my church email. It's not like they're trying to do anything to prevent me from doing this. Do you think the Catholic Church buys those on Amazon and just hands them out? There's no way that they don't. They're checked by a nun. So it happens at the packaging. You got a nun at the fucking factory in Indianapolis. You just check by a nun. Would you rather have a Pokemon of your choosing, no legendaries, no gods,

Or a lightsaber? The only thing I see a lightsaber for is like fucking battles. And I'm not into battles. I'd rather have just like a fun pet. You know, I wouldn't do shit with the Pokemon. We wouldn't do battles. We wouldn't be doing anything like that.

Was that any Pokemon of your choosing? You only have one? Yeah, you get one. But you can't get a legendary or like a god tier Pokemon. Yeah, well, I'm not trying to do anything legendary with the Pokemon. I'm just trying to get... I'm just trying to have some fun. It's just something domestic. He's trying to do something domestic with it. I do. I just want a cool little guy. I was... Hey, I was in a robot shop in Shibuya called Beta. B-A-T-A. And they got little Panasonic robot things. Look up Panasonic robot things.

They got these things now and it just looks fun. You know, you have a little buddy with you. It does look like a Pokemon, doesn't it? Yeah. Oh, I didn't think about that. When robotics get really good, the Pokemon company is absolutely going to make an AI running Pokemon robot. Fuck yeah. He just looks fun to have, you know. Now imagine that as a, you can get like a pretty cool Pokemon, I bet. You know, I'm sure there's a fluffy one. Surprise me. Yeah, that's basically what we were just looking at.

Yeah, I like that. I mean, I don't know, but a lightsaber would be really cool. I know, but you can only use it for, like, threatening people and killing people. Oh, but it'd be so easy. You know what would be great about a Pokemon? What? Is you could absolutely make some sort of argument to get it registered as some sort of animal that can travel with you because they're so well-behaved. Yes. Yeah. If you're a good trainer...

they're not just good you got to be a good trainer oh that's like the whole point of the game i forgot we were talking mr pokemon here yeah say your piece well i mean some of them are like they all have a friend rating you know the longer you travel and battle with them and stuff the friendship level goes up because some of them only evolve once they've hit a high enough friendship level i don't think they're all just tame they all have different natures

You can get her like a rambunctious skitty. I'm getting the chillest one. There's no chillest species. They all have random natures. There definitely is. Have you seen Snorlax? That's the chillest one. That's a chill motherfucker. I'm taking Snorlax, please. I'm going to just lay on his belly all day. Yeah, that's pretty good. I'm laying on Snorlax's belly.

Yeah, I would say I'd probably do the Pokemon. I'd probably get an Eevee. I'd probably get an Eevee. Yeah, I'd like an Eevee. Pull an Eevee up. Let me see Eevee. I'm laying on Snorlax's belly like that scene from Totoro. My gosh. I'm curling up into a ball on him. What if he has BO? He doesn't.

Snorlax looks like he has BO. No, he doesn't. Take a look at Snorlax. Take one more look at Snorlax. I want to see if that guy... He totally has BO. Dude, he's stinky. Look at him. We got him wearing native deodorant. He's fine. Dude, okay, but he... Sure, but what the hell? That looks like a stinky Snorlax. That's stinky. That's what it would really look like. It'd be like a big bear. That's fun. That's fun. I don't like some of these depictions of him. These are not good depictions of him.

These are scary depictions of him. I like them. All right. Yeah. I'd say I'd go for the Pokemon. Lock it in. Same. Doing Pokemon. All right. Well, thank you everyone for joining us on this episode of Chuckle Sandwich. Love you to death. Keep it spicy.

Schlatt, next time we see you, are you going to be back in the United States? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'll just stay here forever now. Oh, okay. I like the drama and the mystery in that. Maybe we ended on a cliffhanger, you know? Where will I be next? All right. Where will Schlatt be next? Tune in next time on Chuckle Sandwich to find out. Bye.