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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um...
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So what's the deal, Tucker? Okay. I go to Australia for like two weeks. I come back. Yeah. Schlatt's not here. And he's been celebrating himself as this paragon of being on time. Always on time. Always on target. Always reliable. Always investing. Always buying low, selling high. And always handsome, baby. Always handsome. It's me. Hey, everybody. What's going on? Wow.
Wow, wow, Schlatt, where are you right now? What's going on? Where am I? Come on now, come on. Do you see this camera tracking me right now? Yeah. I'm obviously somewhere far away. Somewhere clearly technologically advanced. Watch this. Whoa! Boom, baby, boom! I'm in Japan. You see Godzilla over there? Oh, shit. You see Godzilla right there? Yeah, there he is. That's fucking Godzilla.
You're going to be okay. Oh, yeah, I'll be okay. I'll be okay, yeah. Oh, you made a deal with him? Yeah, he doesn't actually kill white people. Oh, yeah, no, that makes sense. That's his rule. That makes it because we created him. Yeah. We're his king, you know, because we dropped the atom bomb on Nagasaki and Hiroshima. You said that, not me. That's canon. That's how Godzilla was created, I'm pretty sure. Godzilla was born because we nuked him? Yeah. I thought it was, wait, or was it a Fukushima thing? Yeah.
I don't think that Godzilla was born in 2011. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich.
I'm in Shinjuku. Wow. The best city in the world, baby. It's just a little section of Tokyo where everything's kind of grimy and dirty and the Yakuza run around. Oh, they still have those? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You watch any video about Shinjuku and Kabukicho and they'll all say this is really where it gets rough. This is where it's terrible. You don't want to go here. Yeah, exactly. And so that's where I'm at right now and I'm having the absolute time of my life.
Wow. Again, this is my third time going in 13 months. Jesus Christ, I'm going to have to join you out there at some point. You should, you should. I'm probably going to go again this winter. I'm going to put together an all-star lineup of people and just record. I'm mainly here for pleasure this time. I'll show you around my room. Oh, I should probably turn off the TV, the Japanese baseball playing. Right, you probably should. Sorry, I'll turn... Where's my remote? Where's my fucking...
Man, you're really struggling right now. Ted, I don't know where the remote is. Slant's not used to having like a whole set of technology that'll just float back into his hands whenever he needs it. You know, he's struggling. He's really, he's tearing his room apart right now, actually. Fuck. What the fuck? Where's this goddamn remote? I can't even, oh. There we go. Found it. There we go. Track me. Thank you. I'll turn off the TV. So what's your plan in Japan, uh,
leading up to the time that this episode will release, but nothing after so people can't figure out where you are? Nothing, actually. Really? I'm actually... I've got nothing on the schedule. I'm here with Trevor, my editor. Nice. And yesterday we just walked around...
And went into the biggest camera store in the world and just did that for a couple hours. Oh, that's cool. Then we went to a mall and then we got some food. Two little restaurants. Just found them. Found them little hole-in-the-wall places. We got yakitori for lunch. We got yakiniku for dinner. That's the Korean barbecue where you grill it up a little bit. I got a little translucent watch. You see that? Look at that. See this? Boom. What brand is that? Is that...
Is that KSO? No, it's not Casio. It's Q&Q. Oh. Q&Q. Okay. It's a Citizen brand. Oh. Citizen's also a Japanese watchmaker. Speaking of watches, we're going to be walking around Nakano Broadway trying to find some watches, you know? Damn, dude. I'm fucking jealous. This seems like a blast. It's great. It's great. And you know the best part about it for me especially? I can walk around, me being 6'3",
huge 250 well a little less now but 250 pounds and people don't even look at me they don't even notice me they don't notice you just well they don't know who i am oh i see
I see. Yeah. Yeah. I see what you're saying. Oh, you've talked about this before. You can go to Japan and it's like, there's a very small amount of people that will, um, will know you. I will say though, I was taking a look at our, uh, our podcast stats, um, the other day and there, it actually gives us a map showing us how many, where our podcast listeners are. And, um, let me see if I can find this map right now. Um,
And if I do, I do believe that... Do we have some Japanese people? I believe that we have a couple. A couple, yeah. Look at this. So in the last 30 days in Japan, we've gotten 957 downloads of Chuckle Sandwich.
Wow. That's in the last month. There's enough. There's more than 10. There's probably one person in Shinjuku who sees me walking around, dude. It's actually funny. The first five seconds of us being out here, we were going to the Don Quixote. And that's where I got this watch. And the first second, someone is just giving me the stare.
You know the stare? I know the stare. That you get sometimes? Yeah. For those of you who don't know what the stare is, it's a very unique thing. Tucker's probably experienced it at this point by now. But it's when...
In the operations of life, people don't usually stare at you for longer than three seconds unless you got something on your face. You're like your ears hanging off from a gashing injury or they know you. And so if you see someone that are looking at you for a long period of time, sometimes when I've been out with Tucker,
it's been happening to me and I'll lean over and talk to them and be like, I'm about to get recognized. And then like sub 30 seconds someone comes over and they say hi. So someone was giving you that stare in Japan?
Yeah, but it was a fucking cracker giving me that stuff. He comes up to me, he's like, you look a lot like Jay Schlatt, eh? And I'm like, yep, I get that a lot. And he's like, oh, we're fucking Aussies, Conor. We're here to work. What are you here for? And I'm like, I'm probably the same shit as you. And we took a little pic and then he went on his way. But it's funny that even in...
on the other side of the world that's still white people recognizing me. Yeah. I'm not surprised it was an Australian, though, because we have a pretty good amount of... Because in comparison to Australia, Australia, we've got 36,683 downloads in the last 30 days there. Well, that's a lot of them. Yeah. That's a lot of Aussies, man. Yeah. Yeah. But do you want to hear something crazy, though, that makes you really think about the size of the world? Because...
It's from Australia, or at least from Melbourne to Japan. And I know this because I was having a conversation with...
with anything for views because he's also in Japan right now and he was like trying to bully me into coming to Japan right after I was in Australia and I had to be like dude. Which you should have. I should have. I should have but I had I have a video I need to finish so it's like it was one of those things but I would have normally if I had my shit together and had a backlog. Yeah. But it's 10 hours from Melbourne to
Japan for a flight. Really? Yeah. 10 hours. Wait, what the fuck? Yeah, isn't that... Told you. But if you look at a map... That's like the same exact time from Austin. Yeah. Yeah, isn't that wild? Holy shit. I thought... Because they were in like the closest...
time zone to Japan. I was like, well, that makes sense that they'll, that there's a lot of Australians in Japan. Whoa, dude. Yeah. And it's because like, uh, Japan is like pretty much at, or Australia is pretty much at the same spot that like Chile is.
And then Japan is in like fucking Washington. I didn't know Australia was that low. Yeah. Yeah. Australia is just far away from anything. The closest thing is to Australia. But surprisingly close to stuff like Papua New Guinea and Indonesia, though, it's like maybe
maybe like a four hour flight or something. True. That's why we sent our prisoners there. Thing is too about Melbourne, Melbourne's at the bottom. Melbourne is like one of the closest cities in Australia to Antarctica. So it's like, uh, yeah, like zoom in on that Tucker. Look at that. Well, I guess Tasmania is, is closer to Antarctica, but, and New Zealand, but you know, I mean you, you, you work, it's not that fucking far. It's like a,
Oh, wow. But that's even closer. Bottom of Chile right there. Yeah, that's crazy. That's where that's probably how they get to Antarctica most of the time. Oh, yeah. They probably just fly your boat over. Yeah. Geez, that's crazy. Would you ever go to Antarctica, Shlatt?
No. Why would I go there? Yeah, no, that's probably the least comfortable place. Slack goes to places where pleasure and comfort live. I go to my five-star hotels and my expensive dinners and stuff. I don't even think you can get an Airbnb in. That's terrible. It's just a bunch of scientists and penguins. Do they have crispy rice in Japan or is that an American thing?
I haven't seen any here so far. It might be an American thing, similar to the fortune cookie, but I can't tell you for sure. I'll let you know if I find some. Yeah, no, that'll be good. Because it is a very delicious dish. Americans just had to fry it. Yeah, no, we had to. We couldn't resist. We had to put that shit in the fucking vat. Put that shit in corn oil. Some Midwestern went to Japan and was like, you know, it'd be kind of nice if this tasted more like Culver's.
Yeah, what do we put some fucking fried cheese curds on this? That'd be nice. Yakitori is octopus, is it not? Is it? The balls. What's the word for the chicken skewer? Oh, I'm thinking of something else. Yakitori. I'm thinking of... Yakitori. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I haven't ever been to Japan. I'm the weeb here, Ted. Come on. Yeah. Yeah.
And yet you still call other people weebs as if it's like this is if it's You are you sure I feel like you do I don't know dude. I feel like Watch anime at all. I think it's lame nerd shit. This is a safe space, dude I just it's one of those things where it's like you make a lot of claims and I just believe you out right I just don't believe that you don't watch anime. It's like I
You're in Japan. There's no way that you could have gathered this fascination for going to Japan if you didn't have like... Oh yeah, there's no other way. There's no other way. Not from Need for Speed Underground 2, picking the Japanese car to begin with, the Miata, the starter car, and then maybe the Supra. Dude, come on. Ask me any question about anime, go. Well, you can just pretend to not know. That's like, there's no... I don't know. No...
Okay, there's no feasible way to convince us that you don't know about anime by just pretending that you don't know the answer. Okay, what's that show with the kid that wants to be the ninja and wants to get really good at that?
That ninja show, you know that kid and they use the ju- Naruto? See, you do know! You are a weeb! Oh, come on! Oh, that'll- Yeah, gotcha! Gotcha! Yeah, you got me. Gotcha, dude. Yeah, you did get me. You were supposed to pretend that you didn't know that and then- Yeah, I know. You were like, wait, this guy barely knows what he's talking about. He's clearly talking about Naruto right now. Yeah. You should go see a sumo match while you're out there.
I would love to. There's a sumo show going on right now in Tokyo, but it's tough to get tickets to. I imagine it's a pretty big deal out there. I've done some sumo. I've done some sumo. You have? For an off-candy video. It was such a shame that Takaru Fuji wasn't there to fight with you. I don't know this reference. He's a sumo wrestler. Is he like... Or maybe Shona Noomi. Why do you know this? Why do you know this information? Maybe Ura.
From Osaka. I'm starting to think that you're making this up. No. No. I'm a sumo fan. Really? Yeah. I've been watching sumo recently. I feel like I could make up Japanese names too. I could be like, oh, well. Go. Hojiro Togasaka. Okay. Not a real person. Yeah. No, no. He is. Hojiro Togasaka. From, uh. From what? Kyoto. Kyoto.
got him it was like it was like what's the fucking name of that what's the fucking name of a japanese town i was i was to be honest it was really like the the brain the the reason why there was a fucking vein popping out of my brain i was like i can't be hiroshima and i can't be nagasaki yeah that would be rough if you picked one of
Yeah, but I didn't. I chose the one that they chose not to hit because one of the guy's wife vacationed there. They honeymooned there. And that's why there was like... Yeah, it's a beautiful city. It's a beautiful city. I'm glad we didn't hit that one. I heard that Hiroshima is pretty cool though.
Like now. Now? Yeah. I wouldn't know. I haven't been. I'm staying in Tokyo this whole trip. I think it was some... I think it might have been... I was talking with the Trash Taste guys when I was in Melbourne. And they were telling me that like one of the cities, one of the two, Nagasaki or Hiroshima, is like a pretty cool spot. Are you... Tucker...
I always get tickled by the, what Tucker looks up on Google to find out the answers to our questions is Nagasaki. Cool. Is his query right now? Tucker is the strangest Googler ever. Yeah, no, we both witness it. He types in, I would never even think about asking Google a question that way.
Defend yourself. Now Google will really actually respond to you. Yeah, with an AI overview, you know. They said it's cool. They said it's cool. Jeez. Dude, Tucker's like one of those people that wants to find a restaurant and will just search restaurants near me.
Are you guys not doing that? What are you typing? Oh, okay. Actually, slow down. Restaurant maybe or like the type of food I want. Slow down shot. I actually kind of do look that up as well. You do that too? Well, I'll go on Google Maps and I'll look through the restaurant tab thing and then I'll start scrolling through. Well, you can do that. But the thing is people will Google like blank near me and it's like the near you is implied, bro. It knows you're trying to go.
Sometimes it's not. Sometimes I'll look something up like I need to get something in person and it'll start showing me stuff from Alibaba that's going to take 11 weeks to get to my place. Yeah. So what would you say? No, you win. I don't know about you, but when I go to somewhere more than once, and this happens especially on road trips, I'll start going to repeat locations of things.
Do you have any repeat locations you're going to be for sure hitting in Japan? Bic camera is always a favorite of mine. It's like if a...
If there was a Walmart... Don't they make the lighters? No, no, no. Not that. It's like a Walmart-sized store that's vertical, not horizontal, because there's no room in Japan. So they just build these huge-ass buildings, and it's all just technology products. It's like if a Best Buy was actually good. Oh, that's really cool. And so it's just every piece of technology you could ask for. Oh, what the hell? I mean, there's things from...
Yeah, they sell luxury watches. They sell, you know, kitchen goods. They sell clocks with little like Studio Ghibli characters on them. I saw a cuckoo clock with Totoro on it. Oh, that's sweet, dude.
Chromebooks, they got fucking iPhones, they got everything. You gonna add some more Ghibli content to your living room? Yeah, I would love to. I would love to. And there it is. We have, um... We just hung out there for a couple hours just touring all the floors. And there's, like... The crazy thing is, like, there's... There's, like, one three blocks away from the one we went to. I would love... I feel like if I went to Japan...
I would be like, I would get a selection of things and I would be like so set on Tucker Gifts for like the next three years. You're making me feel like a weeb. No, it's more like... Well, Tucker is a little weeb. What would you get? Give me a spread. Okay, I would probably get you some sort of like rare Game Boy that's only available in Japan.
All right, there we go. I would probably get you some sort of like Pokemon paraphernalia thing that's only available in Japan of some sort. Pre-2005. I would probably get you some sort of... Maybe I'd get you a fucking Ghibli cuckoo clock. Maybe, I don't know. I'm sure there's a variety of stuff that could land really good. Maybe like a selection of Japanese...
Like candies or something. Yep. Yep. Kit Kats. Kit Kats are a delicacy here. They're a delicacy here. Well, no, they've got green tea. That's like the whole point. They've got green tea flavors. They've got a bunch of different flavors in Japan. They've got like this dark chocolate flavor. They've got a raspberry flavored one. Yeah. Matcha. They have wasabi flavored. I haven't tried the crazier flavors, though. I need to. You should do that for a Schlatt and Kovit. You should do just the Kit Kat.
Yeah, that's a great idea. I might. I was going to. So we have a couple videos planned. Did you see the comment I put on your announcement video about the Schlatt & Co thing? I wrote in the reply to that because I saw that you changed it from Schlag. So I commented on that video just announcing the change and I just said in all caps, damn you to hell. Yeah.
I was mad. I've tarnished your legacy. I was mad because you almost brought a million subs. So I wanted that. I wanted to have a reason to be like, yo, can I get like a slag million sub? But we can still Ted. I know you, you were a big part of that channels branding. If you want, I will play, but I was the profile picture too. I mean, I drew the profile picture and I made the name.
And you made half the banner article. Yeah. So once I get a million, I will send you a gold plaque that says Schlagg. Oh, that'll be excellent. If that would make you happy. Oh, it would make me happy, yeah. Okay. Then there you go. There you go. I'll take care of the million sub plaque for Choco because I keep forgetting to do that. I just need to send one email. I just need to start the conversation. I would like that very much. That would be my third. And then soon Schlatt & Co. will be my fourth. Fourth?
And then soon, Weekly Slap will be my fifth. Oh, for a million. I thought you had more million subs. You just have a bunch of silvers, don't you? Wait, I have three. No, I have three. I have Big Guy. I have J Slat Live and J Slat. So this will get me up to six. You're probably the only YouTuber that has ever gotten away with making an obscene amount of disorganized second channels across YouTube.
Several years. When I look up Jay Schlatt on YouTube, I looked at this the other day with your Schleimkow thing. I couldn't find on the first page your original YouTube channel. Oh, there it is. It immediately shows up. It wouldn't show up for me. It has to do with recommendations. I don't know.
Yeah, it wouldn't show up for me. Why don't you use that channel? Because that was like my... That's like my child, you know? Like, that's my kid that I only treat the best because I'm a good father. Mm-hmm.
And I don't have anything good to treat the channel with. So I will never upload to it again, probably. Unless something changes. But Jschlatt Live is like my little fucking cousin that I hate. And I'm just like, fuck it. Yeah, that's your little playground where you just start rolling around in the sand and stuff. Yeah. Well, actually, Jschlatt and Co. is probably my playground. I don't know. I don't know. The reason I have a bunch of channels is because...
I'm very, I'm very, uh, not paranoid, but what's the, when you're like walk under a ladder and you're like, Oh, I have bad luck. What's the term? Superstitious. Superstitious. I think every YouTuber is fairly superstitious with YouTube and how it works. Um,
And so, like, everyone has a different way of uploading videos and what they set it to. Ted won't schedule anything. I love scheduling. I love scheduling things because I think that works the best for me. I've started scheduling more recently, but it just... It feels like...
because it's one of those things where i don't like scheduling because i won't be awake when the video sometimes releases so i've scheduled in the past and i wake up and i'm looking at a 10 out of 10 video and i'm like oh oh yeah and you're like it's because of that not because my video was it's a horrible way to wake up it's just like you wake up and your room's on fire
Not fun. Yeah. That's the thing. That's the thing. So you're a little superstitious about scheduling shit. Yeah, I'm a little stitious. Everyone is. Everyone's got their thing with YouTube because it feels so finicky every now and then. And so I have eight fucking channels because my thinking is if one of them dies, then I'll still have seven.
So this is an investor's mindset. This is diversification. But if one of them is dying, don't you think that all of them would collectively die? Wouldn't it be? Because it's going to be all the same, generally the same people. Are you telling me that there's like a specific audience for big guy? Well, no, I think that there is.
a push and pull between viewers being interested in the algorithm showing what it wants to. Right. So if one channel falls out of it, then, you know, I still have that backup of others that might still be making content that's interesting. Yeah. Do you know what I would call this? I would call this mitosis. What are you doing? This is a mitosis strategy because you started with J Schlatt and then you
Might you know split into J shot live and then J Schlatt live spawned big guy and I'm pretty sure but then there's also a bit of a an absorption thing going on too because Schlag used to be a fan account that you like yeah took off someone's hands and Absorbed it. I just the hug of death That's crazy
Wow. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of channels. A lot of channels. It's all very superstitious, but that's how it works. Well, we've actually got a little topic today that we were going to run with.
Unless you have anything else you want to say, any other fucking shit you want to say about your Japan trip, dude? Yeah, I mean, look at this water. I don't even know what the fuck it says on it. Can you even read what the fuck this bottle says on it? I can actually. I can read kanji. That says vinegar. There's a couple more places I'd like to go that I go to frequently when I'm in Japan. I mean, obviously, convenience stores are everywhere, and they are very convenient over here. I think people...
It was funny, when I visited Austin for the first time, the Botez sisters were still living there, and they showed me their fridge, and it was like it had nothing in it. And I was like, how do you live with nothing in your fridge? And they're like, oh, we just go to the Trader Joe's down the road. And then we did a trip to the Trader Joe's because we were hungry.
wait like they had no food in the apartment so and so yeah and so we walked out and the trader joe's was right next door and it was like a quick trip you know um most people don't have that in america which is why i think they keep their fridges filled with something to eat yeah yeah usually when i go to the grocery store it's like all right let's plan out this week
you know? And then I kind of fall out of it or something. And then I get, I start, and then it gets to the point where it's like, Ooh, how long those eggs been there? Oh,
Oh yeah. No, those eggs. Oh, and then I fill up a cup of water and I dropped the egg in it and I see the very vague notion of how much gas has built up in this egg, whether or not it'll tilt upright or if it will float to the top or yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, but I'd love to live in a walkable world, you know, I guess really you could just move to New York city if you wanted that. I guess. I guess. Yeah. But then you'll get pushed into the subway tracks, uh,
And die probably or get stabbed the thing with Japan is that there's convenience stores basically every every block there might even be multiple every block and So within five feet you just walk into it and then it's that's everything you need That's all the food and beverage you need. Do you think would you pull a PewDiePie? No, I
And by that, for those of you who don't know what I'm saying, I'm asking if he would ever move to Japan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were going to ask the other PewDiePie thing, if I would ever try that. What, saying the N-word? No, and that answer, yeah, on stream, that feels like a bad idea. Yeah, but you getting into PUBG lately, dude? I haven't been getting into PUBG lately. I don't know, I think I have too much baggage in the United States to really move. Really? Yeah.
Yeah. Also, I like, you know, being not 15 hours away from family. Yeah. So, yeah, that's fair. That's fair. But man, but the time zones are nice, man. I love waking up, you know, checking Reddit once and then making sure everything is settled. And then I can just go out on my day because everyone else is asleep. It is. It's weird how much.
When I was in Australia, this happened. It was like I felt totally out of the loop. People were talking about stuff. I had been talking about stuff for like 10 hours and I was like, what's going on? It's perfect. All the Kendrick, Lamar, and Drake shit happened when I was in Australia. So I would wake up and I'd be like,
what the fuck is happening? And I'm seeing cutie, like cutie with her hourly tweets about, about what was going on with the Kendrick Lamar beef. And it, and that it was like posted 10 hours ago. I was like, what the fuck happened last night? I was just screaming, screaming while I'm sleeping. It's nice. Cause I, I've enjoyed being disconnected from social media and shit more often recently. And so this is like, it's helping me, uh,
cull the want to go on those sites because there's nothing going on anyways. Right. What else? What's another place I'm going to visit? One last place. Let me think. Do tell them. Oh, I'm going to go to The Pizza. The Pizza? The Pizza. The fuck is that? I made a video and I'm still working on it because, you know, shit takes a while sometimes.
I made a video where I toured all the places in Tokyo that were offering New York-style pizza. Oh, yeah, we've talked about this. That was one of the best places, for sure. And so I'm going to head back there. Oh, okay. I'm excited for that video to come out. Yeah, me too, dude. Me too. It's going to come with a...
It'll come with a Schlatt & Co. sister upload. That's me in New York City talking to people like a Schlatt on the Street style interview video about what makes a good pizza. It's going to be fun. Wow. So you're kind of like doing my old character. Yeah, I'm dressed like a milkman too. No, pizza guy. Pizza guy. Do you know about pizza guy? It's like one of my...
One of my most... I'm very well known for this. That's Pizza Guy? Yeah, that's Pizza Guy. Oh shit. This is more of like a draft of a character. Was this the precursor to Milkman? Kinda. This is from seven years ago at PAX East 2017. And it was basically the whole bit was that I dressed up as this guy named Pizza Guy.
And it was like a fake cosplay where I was at. I would interview cosplayers and then I would be like, well, what do you think of my cosplay? And they're like, they'd be like, uh, like, and I'd be like, he's pizza guy. You know, he like goes, he fights, he goes on mozzarella mountain and he's like, you know, he's pizza guy. And they'd be like, okay. Uh, and then that's the bit. And I use, I'm using my phone as my microphone game.
That's fun. I like Pizza Guy. Could I maybe take the character similar to how I took Schlagg? If you can get a pizza hat and then wear that shirt that says Pizza Guy, get a shirt that says Pizza Guy like that, you could just grab a Sharpie. That'll be fine. You should do that. That'll be such a deep cut. Only Jeopardy watchers will understand that one. Jeopardy fans, dude. Yeah. Wow.
you said we had a topic today we do have i know yeah we did wow you beat me to the transition okay so our topic today it's a new one new format we're calling it bursts and worsts so it can be any topic uh and you're gonna talk about the first time you went there and you're or did that or whatever and then the worst time the worst experience you had with that thing
So we have a few starter topics, but feel free to grab one. Like you guys could start with your first time traveling for vacation and your worst time traveling for vacation. It might be a relevant sequitur. Yeah, we could start with that one. First time traveling in general, or are we saying first time maybe international? Maybe first time. Well, have you gone international enough to have a worst time? I suppose there's always a worst time. Yes. Yes.
My first time traveling internationally, I went to Ireland in 2007. Is this also the worst? It sounds like you're about to... No, I don't remember anything from that trip. I probably went to a castle or something. I don't know why you'd waste money taking a kid international. They're not going to fucking remember it. Yeah, dude. Kid needs to be at least 12 before you get him a passport. The fuck? Yeah, I think my first time traveling internationally was either...
I remember one time
I went to Canada, obviously, when I was younger. But does that count as international? And I remember I said that once to Moses. I was like... Because that was the story about how I stole a couple magnets, like real small magnets that didn't do anything from a gift store. And my parents tried to make me give it back, but I had to beg them to not make me give it back. And they were like, fine, whatever. And then after, I would tell my friends, I was like, I'm actually an international spy. And...
Or thief, international thief. And then Moses replied to that at one point and he said, no, Ted, you're a transnational thief because apparently that's because they're connected states to each other. I don't know. What does transnational mean? Is that? I have no idea. Do you need a passport to be able to get into Canada? Yes. You do. Yeah. But I think people who live on the border, like Buffalo, New York and stuff can have, there's like a...
They can have something on their license so that it's easier for them. Oh, okay. Because people who live along the border, some people work across the border and stuff. It gets messy there. New York especially. When I was much younger, this is the only time this ever happened, my family, we went on a cruise, which was cool. And that, we went to, where is it? It's the fucking Bermuda. Yeah.
Bermuda, cruise to Bermuda. You went in the Bermuda Triangle, dude? Well, coming from Boston, you wouldn't enter the Triangle.
Fuck, man. That scared the shit out of me as a kid. I'm glad you learned that. Dude, yeah. The Bermuda Triangle was a real fucking threat when I was a kid. It was like... That was a problem. And it's like one of those things where it's like, how often are you traveling in that area? Like, who's ever traveling above Puerto Rico, east of Florida, like in the ocean? It's a... Man, Turks and Caicos is entirely encapsulated by...
by the Bermuda Triangle. That's why we let the UK keep that one. Good luck getting to it. Good luck.
There's fucking kaijus in that water, man. No, yeah. I remember there was like books, like kids books at the library where it would talk about the mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle. It was kind of like propaganda that we received when we were kids. Why was there so much information about the Bermuda Triangle? It was my first exposure. Like, it feels like a true crime thing. Like a Mr. Bolin video. You know, like you'd have him talking about all the people that died mysteriously in the Bermuda Triangle.
triangle yeah and it kind of makes you think like that shit was probably happening all the time back then like people were getting lost at sea all the time why did they who was the motherfucker that was like well this area is actually kind of like a triangle between these three locations maybe that's like a haunted area a haunted shape i don't know man
We gotta figure out this haunted shape. Takes up like... Maybe that could be the next Schlatz conspiracies episode. Yeah. Someone figuring out what's going on. I'll come with some facts about the Bermuda Triangle next time. Don't you worry. Yeah, look at that photo right there of the plane, Tucker. Look at this. I think that's where the magic really starts to come into play. That's fan art, dude. Yeah. What is the Bermuda Triangle? A scientist has solved the mystery. That's a fucking lightning...
pool suction cup in the ocean absorbing a plane. Yeah, that's gotta be fake. Yeah, no, that's not a real plane. That's what happened to that plane, that Malaysian Airlines. Well, honestly, there's more than one Malaysian Airlines plane that fucking got eaten up. Well, didn't one get shot down? Wasn't that the other one? Didn't one disappear? Yeah, they know where that one landed. Yeah, I think it ate a SAM missile.
Are we talking about the one that happened during the Cold War? No, there was one, you know, within the last decade or so where it was flying over Eastern Europe and somebody shot a stinger at it or something. Oh, well, that happened in the Cold War, too. There was a flight, like, I think it was a Japan Airlines flight that was crossing over Russia. It, like, got a little bit off track. And it was, like, the height of the Cold War and they shot it down. There are flight paths I would never book a flight on. It's like...
No. Yeah. I'm not going to fly over Ukraine ever. Yeah. Yeah. No, I would. Have you been looking at flights where they're going over Ukraine? Where are you going? I was going to say you probably will never have to. Where are you going? No, I know, but I won't. No, you couldn't. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going. You can't make me. I'm not going. You're going to get on a flight going right over Ukraine.
And you're going to Kazakhstan. We're going to do a boots on the ground type thing. We're going to send Tucker to different parts of the world. And he's just going to be like, all right, guys, I'm here in Kazakhstan. I'm like a war reporter, dude. In my press outfit with a helmet on. Yeah, you with a little, it's like a dress shirt and a tie. And then like a fucking windbreaker on top of it so they know you're in the field.
Yeah. With a little microphone with a square on it that says chuckle on it. Chuckle sandwich. That'd be kind of cool actually. Yeah, dude. We'll just send you somewhere, dude. We'll send you to like... Send you to places I don't want to go. Yeah, let's send you to... Where don't you want to go? Let's send you to like... Oh, I don't know. We'll send you to Singapore. How's that? With a pack of gum in your pocket. Singapore's awesome, dude. But I don't want to go. Singapore's like one of the best places you could go. Why not? That's why we're sending you there. I don't know.
It seems like a hassle. You don't like Singapore? Can't smoke weed there, you get killed. That is a hassle. They'll kill you if you smoke weed. Where is Singapore? Oh, it's... it's... Where Singapore is. Somewhere. Where is it? Thailand, maybe? No, that's... that's Thailand. Around there. Oh, is Singapore a country? Yeah. Oh, there it is. I thought... I thought it was a city. Oh, it's small. Oh, it's... It's very hot. Oh, it's... It's an island country city-state. It's like a nation-state. Oh, it's like the Vatican for Asia. Damn! That's cool. You're right.
Damn, dude. They don't have a Pope. Tucker, why do you have a hearted location on Afghanistan? Let's see if it's still there. Let's see if it's still there. They're in the Google Images view of this area. This is like a little lore drop from Google Maps. It's probably updated. I hearted this five plus years ago. There was an A-10 mid-air doing a gun run.
That was caught on the Google. That's fucking cool, dude. You're telling me that there was a Google Maps car driving while the US military was doing... No, it was a satellite view. But the plane was like in a fucking attack pattern. Dude, I thought they had a fucking Google Maps car driving through the streets of Afghanistan while an A-10 was flying over. That must have been a chaotic day at work. Oh my God.
Yeah, it's pretty cool. Why are you looking this up on Google Maps? He just looked up A10 Afghanistan on Google Maps as if it would give him the look. He's not a good Googler. Oh, yeah. Here's the... Oh, look at that. This is what it used to look like. That's pretty neat. Wow. That's cool. That's awesome, dude. Okay, but Bermuda, Canada was my first. Now, what was your worst? What was your worst? What was your worst traveling? Oh, probably Australia. Yeah.
Oh, back in the day? Yeah, back in 2019. Back in the LC days, as they say. Yeah, yeah. I think that night where we went camping was one of the worst nights of my life. Yeah, you combined with camping doesn't seem like something I could ever have convinced you to do in the first place. Well, no, it wasn't that. I was fine with the camping shit. It was the sleeping situation that was rough. In a tent? I slept...
No, no, there was no room. The inn was full, dude, so I slept in the fucking U-Haul, and it was cold, and I woke up shivering. Oh, that's never fun. And I thought I was going to die, dude. Oh. And so I had to figure out what to do, and all the...
All the people who were in the crew and not actually on video were sleeping in the house. And so I had to crawl on top of ten different people just to get close to the heater. Oh my god. Yeah, it was terrible. It was fucking awful. And then anything for views came in fucking naked. I believe it. Yeah. Not the best site in the world, I will say. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. No, I get it. I get it. Yeah. No, that makes sense to me. I've done a couple of times where I've slept in a cold environment. One time I, I slept in, um, what was it? King's Canyon. And we were, I was on a little camping road trip thing back in the day. Like this was actually not back in the day. This was in like 2022 or 2021. Um, but it was, there was snow on the ground and I didn't have a, uh,
I didn't have one of those mummy sleeping bags that were rated for like below. I don't think it was rated for below 50. So I was, yeah, I was in there and it was one of those scenarios where you grab all your clothing that you brought with you to wear and you start wrapping yourself in like all your clothing and shit. And like, but like none of it is warm in any case. It's just like a bunch of cold cloth. So it's like, you just kind of feel like an idiot and you're waking up every Thursday
30 to 45 minutes for like a whole night. It's it's that's the worst when you wake up because I don't normally wake up when I go to sleep. I'm done until I wake up the next morning. Like I'm I'm gone. Like you couldn't find me if you if you put on the neural link or whatever. I'm you wouldn't be able to find me.
what is this you're not gonna be able I'm gone man you're not gonna find me I'm gone I'm disappeared I'm not in the internet or anything I'm gone you know what I mean you know what I mean yeah I feel you are you gone like that do you ever leave when you sleep no I wake up quite frequently at night to go to the bathroom and jerk off and other fun things
What? This is funny. I get why you're a light sleeper. It tracks that you're a light sleeper because remember that monkey hotel where you had said you to monkey's hand or something and they had like a club below it and you were like you would wake up like 20 times that night. Oh. During a chuckle week. Chuckle week. Oh yeah. With the club. That sucked. That sucked. Yeah I know. He was pissed when he got showed up in the morning. Oh yeah. Oh man. Geez. Yeah. No that but I don't know like that could have been my worst nightmare.
I don't know. I feel like I'm a kind of an everlastingly positive person. I really have a hard time finding times when I'm like, I hated everything about this. Like it's, it's, I just kind of struggle with it. I feel the same way. I, if I'm on vacation or even if I'm like at the cinema watching a movie, I'll never really walk out of it being like, you know,
That was fucking terrible. Yeah. And I really, I really hate that I did that. Except if we're talking about Charlie Day's movie, Fools, whatever the fuck. God, what a terrible fucking movie. You know, it's as the scriptures say, Schlatt, everything's okay because I'm on vacation, you know? Yeah. Yeah. That did, that was...
Yeah. Yeah. Man, I wish I worked at an ice cream sandwich factory. Yeah. Yeah, dude. And all we would get for lunch is ice cream sandwiches. Come on. Come on. Come on. That seems like a... When I was a kid, I was like, well, that actually doesn't seem that freaking bad. That actually seems like a pretty sweet deal. Yeah. The book of mythical. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I'll tell you what, though.
Probably the most stressful one recently, though, was the one when I was on that trip to Ireland. Because I was trying to figure out how to record the podcast. And I was also trying to finish. I also was finishing the incorrect history of burgers on that trip. I was doing it from hotel rooms on a Mac. On a Mac. It was awful. It was awful to edit a video of that capacity on just a fucking Mac with very little screen room. It was awful.
That was rough. But yeah, I don't know what my worst trip of all time was, but I bet it was something really good and I just can't remember it. Give us another topic, Tucker. Give us another category to do. I think roommate would be a good one. At least I think. I know you've got room. Is that something you want? I don't know if that's something I would want to talk about. First and worst, baby. Connor eats pants. Terrible person. He's really rough. He just eats chicken fingers.
That's where it should have crossed the line. He eats up fucking frozen chicken fingers every night. Connor eats pants the fuck. What's wrong with that? We'd be like having parties in Austin and Connor would be nowhere to be found and then he'd come down and everyone's like, hey, it's Connor, baby. And he just fucking makes his fucking frozen chicken fingers that fuck.
Dude, who hates the guy who's bringing chicken fingers to the party? He's not bringing chicken fingers to the party, dude. He's heating them up for himself and he's going back upstairs. Fuck him. Yeah, that is a rumor. Still friend of the pod. No, Connor was a good roommate. Friend of the pod. Big friend of the pod. Friend of the pod. He's my only roommate. Actually, no. S-Fan. I lived with S-Fan for a while. No, Connor was definitely the worst. Who was your first? Connor.
My first roommate was a fellow named Griffin in my freshman year in college at Ithaca. I remember Griffin. He was cool. Him and I, we had a tradition that we would do where we would go down to this sort of halfway area between...
There was like two walkways. There was the parking lot because there was these two towers at Ithaca where the people would stay. And there was the top part was, you know, a parking lot. And at the lower end of it was like this sort of walkway where students would go. But if you zoom in on that little right area by East Tower there, Tucker, see that right there? Look at this.
And you see that little stairway, Tucker, that metal stairway? Right there. That's where we would go into that area. And there was no... Actually, wait. Go to the left, actually, Tucker. I've got to switch up. That one right there. Yeah, that's where we would go. That's the little area. I don't think it's going to give it to you. But where we would smoke spliffs.
No. We'd smoke. Spliffs. That's like right in the middle of campus and we would be smoking weed right in that little area. The spliff is, if you don't know what it is, it's tobacco and weed mixed together. So the whole idea in our freshman college brain minds was it was like, oh, well, the weed smell is going to get concealed by the tobacco. Uh-huh. Did it? Kind of, honestly. We never got caught doing that. Huh. We never got caught. You shouldn't talk about this while I'm in Japan, dude. They'll throw me in prison. Is weed strict in Japan? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, you can't have none of that. That's why the whole country drinks, because everything else is so highly criminalized. Really? Yeah, it's like everyone fucking drinks. Drinking is the whole thing. That's what everyone does. They should start smoking weed. Maybe they should have more kids. Maybe. Honestly, maybe. Damn, dude. My worst roommate? He who shall not be named? No, I mean...
It's one of those things where, you know, you could, I think you can enjoy someone as a person, but maybe you really, you didn't really work out as roommates. Like, I'm sure that there were things that I did that this person didn't like either, but there was one scenario where, uh, and I'm not going to give any specifics to talk about it. Honestly, if the roommate listens to it, they'll know what I'm talking about, but they did do this one weird thing that I, uh,
I think we probably, if we talked about it now, we'd probably still disagree on it. But I went away for a wedding on a weekend and I came back and basically the way... This was in LA where they had like these setups for the bed. So it was like a two bedroom and then each of them had like these single beds. So it wasn't a whole lot of room on these beds. They were like kind of like hotel single beds. It was weird. Yeah.
But I got back from this wedding I had in Washington over the weekend. And I come back and I walk into the room and both of our beds are pushed together. And I'm like, what's going on here? And he's like, oh, well, that's mega bed. I remember that. I said, I said, what? And he said, I pushed both the beds together.
because I wanted to make a bed. And I said, did you, so were you going to wash the sheets or anything? Or I was like, I don't like the fact that you were using my bed. And he said, well, I don't know why you're upset. It doesn't affect you. And I'm like, you're sleeping on my bed without asking me.
I wouldn't have cared. You wouldn't have cared? No. Unless he was sleeping naked with his cock out. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if he was sleeping naked with the cock. It was the mystery and the lack of knowledge on what was done in that pic. You ask him, were you sleeping with your big cock out? Give him a compliment in there too. Come on.
Was that big fucking... That big beautiful cock out on my bed? I get the idea, though, because the beds that we slept on were very small. It was actually... That was the room that I was in in, like, original content from back in the day. Oh, really? The Jeopardy? There's that one thing of me blowing the smoke and saying I'm an airbender. That's from...
that's from back in the day i saw that one five or filth days secondary oh well the fiber phil five or filth days a lot of those were filmed in my freshman year dorm yeah freshman year dude that's that's my room uh your the bless your child for five dollars your high school room is iconic for like me if i'm looking through old photos i'm like oh the original backdrop
Yeah, dude. Yeah. I used to do the type of filming where it was like, rather than me being on my, like talking from my desk, I would set up a camera and then have my, like it was very iDubbbz-esque. Like I would have my two monitors be the background behind me. Which honestly, it kind of does still look pretty good. I got a pretty good setup there. I think this works. It feels like the audience is a friend.
But look how fucking skinny that neck is of mine. Damn, dude. Big skinny neck. Snap that thing like a twig. Yeah. What are we talking about? Oh, his bad roommates. First and worst, dude. Give us one more. Yeah, give us another one, Tucker. First and worst. First time getting drunk or drinking.
When I was 21 years old, the night I turned 21. And how'd it go? And the worst time, also the night I turned 21. Dude, I'll tell you a recap. So I was completely sober until I turned 21. This I've said before. I don't know if I've told the whole story, though. I was so excited to drink once I reached 21 because I had seen so many people do it in my 21 years. And so the first thing I did when I turned it
I went into my papa's fridge and I pulled out a can of Budweiser Heavy. And I played DayZ with my buddies and I was like drinking the thing over the course of an hour and I'm like, "Man, this really tastes bad." And I'm not feeling drunk either as I'm sipping through one can of beer. And they're like, "Maybe you need to like try hard liquor." You know? My friends were like, "Maybe yeah, maybe you just reach into the vodka cabinet or something."
And my parents don't really drink hard liquor. So the only thing that was in there was this really old fucking brandy. And it was terrible. And it fucking burnt. And then I was like, okay, I need to get something that is going to fuck me up.
So I went to the liquor store and I bought a case of High Noons. High Noons? Man, you turned 21 very recently in the grand scheme of things. I remember when High Noons were coming out. It was like this new kid on the block. Are they? What? I don't know. My sister was really into High Noons. No, no. Okay. No, no. It wasn't a High Noon. Was it White Claw? It wasn't a High Noon. No, it was another type of...
vodka soda specifically vodka and soda not malt liquor but it was one of those drinks and I got so fucked up on these things and I went to bed right in the living room floor and I woke up vomiting oh no it was yeah it was the worst thing all over the rug and shit fucking terrible terrible jeez
Yeah. Yeah. No, I, that track. Yeah. That tracks. I would say my, I would say my real first and the worst moment was, I may have talked about this before was when I was 16, I was over at, I was over at, uh, a guy who lived on my street, Will's place. He would have the, the, uh, these little fire pits, uh,
And I went over there and they were doing, it was like a sleepover kind of thing where it was like some people were sleeping over, but I lived nearby. So I was just going to go home right after. But it was like, we were up late and we were all secretly passing around a handle of raspberry Rubinov. Ew, what? Yeah. Raspberry Rubinov. This is like, we're talking plastic handle, uh,
The lowest of the low. Let's see how much that costs. $12 you can get this. And it was probably $8 back in the day or something. Is it like just a liqueur? It's not a liqueur, Schlatt. This is vodka. This is a flavored vodka. I couldn't... And I...
I, when I was, it was time to go home, I was like walking home and I was like really nervous about getting back in because I'm 16. I can't obviously drink alcohol. I like enter my parents' house through the front door. And if you've ever been to... Are you wasted at this point? Oh, I'm totally wasted.
You went through the front door? Well, okay. And you have to understand. No one's ever gone through that door. And you have to understand how my childhood home is set up is that there's the driveway and there is this side door where the driveway, everyone enters in through the side door. Then there's this sort of very formal front door that is kind of harder in the grand scheme of things to get to, to walk to. And so it's like,
and nobody comes through it. Like the only time that anyone even knocks at that door is when it's like trick or treaters or like when there's someone who's never been to the place before. Um,
So I open that door and I go through there because it's the straightest line to the stairs that lead up to my room. I'm like, okay, I got a straight shot. If I have to walk to the side door, there's more of a chance my parents are going to get up and they're going to interview me and stuff. I'm walking up. I open that door, close that door. I start walking up the stairs. I fucking trip on the stairs. So I'm like... And I'm like... Oh, dick view right there. Sorry. And then I'm like...
Shit. I hear my mom be like, Dad? I ignore it. I keep going upstairs and then into my bed. And then I wake up the next morning. It's like, imagine ringing coming in. Wake up. Oh, what the hell? Pool of vomit to my right. Or like what used to be vomit or something. And then there's my mom standing in the door and she's like, got her arms crossed. She's like, you had a bit of a night, didn't you? And I'm like,
I may have, yeah, I may have dwelled a little bit too much or something. So I was like, it was weird though. I wasn't really that in trouble. It was one of those things where I think my mom knew that I was like, I wasn't feeling good about it when it happened. I was like, man, I fucked up. That was too much to drink. So like, I didn't really get like grounded or anything.
You learned your lesson. Your parents knew that you were facing the worst thing. Like, you were suffering. And that's all that mattered. Yeah. Which is why I thought my parents were pretty good because they were like, that would have sucked if they attacked on some extra shit on top of it. But they knew what was going on there. They were...
They were pretty good about the whole introduction to drinking. I think they knew it was going to happen, but they just wanted to be like, hey, just don't fuck it up. They weren't letting me have like fucking parties and shit, though. There were some parents growing up or kids from high school growing up, and they'd be like, I'd be seeing on fucking Snapchat stories or whatever. They definitely weren't posting it on Facebook. Maybe they were posting it on Facebook. Dude, you're...
your high school girlfriend. Her parents were. Oh yeah, they were. They were. And that's where I had my worst. Yeah. And this is, yeah. Tucker can, can, can talk about his worst if you want. That was also my first. Yeah. That was your first and your worst. And I was, I saw all that shit, dude. Dude. So we went over, I had, it was January of 2017. So we were 18. Yeah. And I had just gotten back from bootcamp.
So I was 165 pounds and for, I'm well over 200 now. I was skeleton mode. Yeah, no. Bring up one of those photos of what you looked like back then. Has Schlatt ever seen what you looked like back then?
I don't know if I have. Oh, he was so skinny. He was the skinniest that I've ever seen Tucker. I was on a strict, you know, you're on that same exact time schedule, same exact meal schedule for three months straight. Like down to the fucking, you know, 20 minutes. No phones either. I had to send Tucker letters when I wanted to communicate with him when he was out there.
Yeah, it was cool. It was like 1900. But then we got back and we played a lot of Catan in high school. So we go to Ted's girlfriend's house. We set up the Catan board. Her parents, kind of absentee. Like they worked night shifts and stuff. They were there, but they worked a lot. One of their moms was a nurse. She worked a night shift. So she was gone whenever we were hanging usually. But she was chill. She was too chill.
Like, so she, we could use all their liquor, which they had tons of liquor. So we set up this game of Catan where every time the robber hits, uh,
You have to take a shot. Yeah, it was like we replaced the robber in Catan with a shot glass that had alcohol in it. And we were mixing rum, tequila, vodka, whiskey, didn't matter. We'd also do one where it was like the one where they had the ocean and there was like a pirate ship in that game, version of the game, and we would have that be a shot of rum. So one was like the land one was whiskey and the sea one was rum. Oh, fuck. And I had never drank it.
And seven is the robber, which is the most frequent role. So we, and then we all had a sleepover. I was so fucked up. I could hardly stand at the end of that. Woke up middle of the night, projectile vomiting.
And I proceeded to vomit like every half hour for the next 12 hours laying on her parents' floor. And her mom was just like taking care of me. No questions asked. Yeah, no, she was, they were just like, her parents were very, very nice. I was luckier to be there than at my own home with my own mother. Yeah.
Dude, I'm glad none of these stories ended with one of us getting our stomach pumped. Oh, yeah. I can't imagine drinking so much alcohol that you get to that point. I don't think I can get to that point. I think I'd fall asleep. People talk about blacking out all the time and, like, getting to a point where they're so, like, they're not going to remember the night and stuff. And, like, I just can't relate to that at all because in terms of the timeline of, like, where I'm going to get, like,
blacked out, that comes way beyond the point that I'm already getting the spins. The spins comes halfway through the meter, so I'm never even getting to blackout mode. You've never blacked out? What? You've never blacked out? No. Wow. Get out of the night. Get out of the night, you and me. I've maybe browned out. No, but the reason why, Tucker, is because I'm getting the spins so much earlier. Because you're too tall. What's...
What's browned out? Is that when you need to poopy? No, it's more like when it's like the memories of spotty. I hope you never say that again. Spotty.
Schlatt, you've got to start your day. It's like 10 a.m. over there. You've got Yakitori to eat, Godzilla's to fist bump. 1031, dude. 1031. It's a bright new day in Tokyo. I'm going to fuck this city up, dude. Bye. Oh, he's just walking off. He's gone. He's just leaving. The walk-off. Oh, okay. Bye. Bye-bye. You look so good in Japan.
