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Jesus Christ. What a week. What a week that was. Feels like it was just yesterday. Oh, my God. It feels like we just finished it and we were there alive the whole time. It hasn't been 10 weeks since we filmed the podcast together. That Markiplier episode is still fresh in my brain. It was yesterday, man. Can you believe that? Can you believe what he said to us? Jesus.
You'd think second time's the charm, but you know. Two times in a row. Two times in a row. How is that possible? Two times in a row working with that dude. And we even said at the beginning, Mark. Mark. We got to tone it back. We don't want the Mark from last episode. Whatever beast that was. And because of the way he behaved last time, we had to strip search him. Of course. And so the amount of knives that he was just bringing to the set. Yeah.
was astronomical. I mean, it felt a little dangerous. It did. It did that, you know, that experience after the chuckle, we kind of got us thinking as like, okay, well, if we run into this situation scenario again with Mark or really any YouTuber, are we going to be able to defend ourselves? Are we going to be able to hold our own in battle? Yeah.
So, I mean... We got a lot of preparation to do. I mean, just so that situation doesn't happen again, I really think we need to go down the list, Ted, and figure out where the threats are, if we're going to be able to beat the crap out of anybody. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. We're tier listing who we could beat in a fight.
Okay. Back from Chuckle Week, another traumatic experience with Markiplier. And, you know, I really... The Goatseed, Anthony Padilla. The Goatseed, there were two instances of Goatseed. One of them we were bound to put in because he forced us to, but the other one we were able to cut out, thankfully. Yeah. And you know what? I really... There was like a standoffish vibe the whole time. The whole time. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We just need to be... We need to be... We need to be...
We need to be prepared. We need to be prepared. I'm sorry. I'm still a little jumbled. I feel jumbled. It's the adrenaline. Two assholes. No, no, no. It wasn't the adrenaline of the fight with Markiplier. It was the two assholes that I saw. Yeah. And then the donut thing, the...
Like, oh, Jesus. I can't believe I did that. I was lost in the heat of the moment. Yeah, no, you really went beyond anything I've ever seen you do. Yeah, I became a beast right there. Yeah, and Anthony, you know, he was quite submissive and breedable for you in that one moment. He was putting it all on the line for you.
For one shot. One shot to rule them all. You want to know what's hilarious? We had an unannounced break in the middle of that chuckle week, and we had no idea that Smosh announcement was happening. I know. That was... It worked out so perfectly. Yeah. He commented on the most recent episode, and he was like... He was like...
I was having such a hard time trying to keep it a secret. So that whole episode, he was lying to us. Complete lies. Lies. And there were moments. There were moments where you hinted at like smosh, at like something going on. And he was like, oh, no, no, no. Yeah, we were like, are you like, are
are you feeling shitty about it? Like after all these years and stuff. And he's like, he's so he's surprisingly okay. And, and it seems like he's really matured and moved past that period of his life. No, no, he's bought Smosh back. And, and it just so happens that we failed to upload for two weeks and we upload four days after they announced it. It's like ridiculous. Dude, he was probably owning Smosh back then too.
Yeah, no, he was. He was. I was at VidCon this most recent weekend and I asked, I was asking Ian about it, about how we had filmed the thing with Anthony. And he was like, yeah, no, that was like, that was like a thing back then. That was like a thing. Jesus Christ. I had, it was funny. I had gone to,
uh courtney who's on the the smosh the smosh uh cast and i i've gone to her her her birthday patty and she had told me um oh hey you know when this coming uh tuesday you know you're gonna wanna
- You're gonna wanna send us a message. - Interesting. - You're gonna wanna send us a message. And I was like, what do you mean? And she was like, oh no, I literally just cannot say what it is, but on Tuesday when it's announced, you will,
you're gonna you're gonna want to like say like so after it was announced i was like yeah so i sent a message after and i was out and i was like oh okay i know what you're i get it now okay that's fucking huge dude it's it was like uh i feel like it's one of the biggest stories of of youtube history at this point i mean we everyone knows the story it's like it's it's one of the most feel-good stories that ever come out of youtube man
In a time where everything is so drama-focused and all negative. Like, that's a great thing. And by the time this is out, I'm sure the first short will have dropped, and they're going to be uploading, like, classic Smosh skits every other week. Like, it's fucking exciting, man. And it's great, too, because it's like they're totally ready to just –
Do it or lose it kind of thing where it's like we don't know if this is gonna work But we're just gonna fucking do it because we can and like that's honestly, you know props to them for that after all that shit cuz there's so many scenarios I feel like we're like youtubers who don't know, you know especially since they were the kind of the first to like get involved with the company and like do the fucking you know the Smosh movie and the comic books and all that it's like, you know It's yeah. Yeah. It's just so feel-good
But fuck him for keeping that all to himself during that podcast. I know. Yeah, we should beat the shit out of him. And we'd probably win. Yeah, we would. We would. We'd probably win. We would. We'd probably win. Which, you know, if we want to, we could start with Anthony and Ian of Smosh on this tier list of who we could beat in a fight. And-
And these two, I mean. Poindexters. Look at them. Look at them. Look at those nerds. Look at those guys. Dude, I think we should preface this entire discussion about fighting and all this. We're talking hand to hand. But again, this is a fight to the death. I mean, at the top of this tier list is we kill them. At the bottom is we die. We die. Tucker, you got to change that last bit to say no fight.
no fight, like as in what we... Yeah, I would... Like, no, like we're not, or we refuse on some terms. We are just, there's no way that we're going to involve ourselves in this. Yeah. Like more of a self-preserved... Hopeless? Hopeless. Did you say? No, no, no. I mean like the fight doesn't happen on some moral grounds. Yeah, some moral grounds or like some level of... Some reason we cannot involve ourselves in that. Right. Yeah.
Okay, so Anthony and Ian of Smosh. These guys, you know, I think that to start off with Ian, Ian Hecox, I think that it would not be much of a problem to fight him. No, definitely not.
I feel like I'm throwing a couple punches. I think that he is going to be throwing punches like this. He's not going to know where he is. He's like Luigi in Super Smash Brothers. He's going to be Luigi. Yeah. And he stands on apple boxes in all the photos. He stands on apple boxes. My God. He stands on apple boxes in L.A.
In LA, for... And you know what? Not even New York. Not even... There's something else. There's something else we should consider here. Yeah? They're old, man. They're old. They're old. They're above 30, which means that they're basically retired or dead. They're closer to 40 than they are 30, son.
Both of them. My God. Both of them. We were babies. We were babies when they were making their first shit. We were children. Absolute children. Was it like 2002 that they first started making videos on their website? Yeah. So I was four. Two. Yeah. Or three sometimes. It's in flux. Yeah.
Either way, they're old as fuck. They're feeble. I think their bones aren't what they used to be. I think their whole situation is just a little sad. And I think it'd be easier than we think. Yeah, I think that Ian would be really easy. I think that... Now, is this a scenario since there's two of them where it's like, is it one of us versus both of them? Or is it you and I go against the two of them? I see it as just...
We're all just on a school blacktop where you do recess together. And it's just us on one side and them on the other. And then a buzzer rings, then we just got to go at it. Right before summer, the pavement's hot. The bell rings. There's a big circle outside the school. And you know what, man? You know what, man? I think...
We're pretty fucking dangerous. Yeah. I think that we, I think we kill Ian. We're taller. We've got the leverage. Huge people. Should we kill them? I mean, compared to, compared to a lot of these people, it's going to be, it's going to be tough for them to eke out a victory. I think we're going to be,
pretty heavily slanted towards we win most of these. Oh, yeah. If we... And you know how people get... People get taller as time goes on, I think. I think people are just generally taller than they were like 200 years ago. Oh, yeah. You throw us back in time 200 years ago, we would be beasts. We'd be walking through musket bullets. They'd just bounce off of us. They would be melting like butter against our rock-hard abs. Exactly. Exactly. And I honestly, man, I think...
I think it could be a close victory, but also part of me wants to think that we absolutely fucking murder them. Yeah, I think we kill them. Follow that rage that Anthony kept that secret from us, man. I mean, that was just fucked up, and I have a lot of resentment in my heart for him now. It's like we're happy for them, but we have to kill them for lying to us. We have to. There we go.
There we go. We killed Smosh right after they get back together. All right. Who's next? Who do we got here? Who do you want? Tucker, maybe you could just call someone out here. Yeah. Why don't you go for Tommy Innet? Oh, God. Come on. Come on. Tommy Innet? Come on, dude. He's like a walking... He's like if you...
He is like if there was a radioactive stick bug had bit him as a baby and he grew up and he was just a little stick bug. I'm taking his arms and snap. I'm taking his legs and I'm going to snap. Like a twig. Yeah. No.
Yeah, now I'm grabbing him by the legs and I'm spinning him around and he is going into a wall like a crash test dummy and he's compressing. He's compressing like they, this is an anime reference, like Makama in Chainsaw Man. They're just squishing it down.
People will get it. I have no idea what that means, but the things we would do to him in this violent, you couldn't even, you couldn't even air them like this. You're not talking youtube.com creator clash. You're talking live leak. Yeah. This is dark web shit. You're talking rumble. Okay. This is, this is something you need to get a fucking special browser to, to, to get on. This is, this is, yeah, no, this is like, we kill him. Tommy's dead.
We're doing pretty well so far. Yeah, I mean, I'm excited. I'm excited. I think we kill most of these people. That's the thing. It's just going to be one whole podcast of us just saying we kill everyone. We're huge, though. We are large. We are large. Think about this. How many fans have come up to you that are your size or taller? I don't know.
I don't think I've ever met someone who's like come up to me, hey, Schlatt. No, I'm always looking down. I did a meet and greet at VidCon, and I had one person who came up who was actually the same height as me. Oh. That was very rare. And Rambo is actually taller than both of us. Rambo is tall. Rambo is tall. But –
You know, if Rambo is Rambo on this list, I could fucking beat the shit out. I could, I could beat the shit out of Rambo. We totally kill him. We kill Rambo. We'd kill Rambo. He's, he's, he's, he, there's no way, there's no way. I'm sorry. You know, we, we say, we said earlier that we're tall, but I mean, you know, but he's tall, but in like a way that's to his disadvantage, you know, he's like a Redwood, you know, you start hitting him in the knees.
You start doing some little Muay Thai, hitting him in the knees, and he's going to topple down, calling timber out in the woods. It's so easy because...
The people who are shorter than us, we easily crush. But even the people who are bigger, Ted, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. I mean, this is also an advantage for us. It's true. He would be swinging at us and it would be like, he's like an inch taller than me. He'd be swinging at us, be like slow motion. Like he's like a giant in a video game. Everything, every step. Mm-hmm.
We always just envision exactly what's going to happen. We can perfectly counter him. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And we kill him. We kill him. Yeah. And he's got the mask on. So he's not going to be able to breathe as much. Exactly. Exactly. Poor airflow. Poor aerodynamics. And in that last special show he did, Generation Loss, he died in it. Didn't he die in it?
I don't know. Didn't he get hooked up to a little doodad and a fucking mask closed on him and slit his neck and all the blood trickled down? Mmm. I'd fuck up. And that's how it would end. We'd do it again to him. It was actually us who tied him up to that. Yeah, we were responsible. Yeah. All these people were actually going to kidnap and put into a saw scenario.
And we're going to, we're going in all of the things that they have to account for. That's something that they should do. That's something that's the next saw is going to be a bunch of influencers stuck in the little saw traps and their crimes are going to be like shit. They get canceled floor for online. Oh man. Oh man. Well, we told her it's like Rambo. It's like you made a terrible apology video. Yeah.
You said you asked your dog if everything was going to be okay at the beginning of it to get sympathy. That is true. You can't do that. That's one of the worst things you could do in an apology video. Who do we got next, Tucker? It's Schlatt's turn to pick. Let's keep going in a circle here. Okay. Let's think. Pick your fighter. Let's think. What do you think about... What are you thinking? Do you think we could kill Casey Neistat?
Yeah, dude. Yes? I think I could kill Casey Neistat. Really? Yeah. I feel like I could kill Casey Neistat. First, well, let's go over our options here. I mean, you know, eventually, and just so you know, audio listeners love you to death, you know, we're eventually going to reach people that we cannot beat in a fight. Yeah, yeah. But we seem to be very confident thus far, but that we will hit a wall. Casey Neistat,
He's an aging YouTuber. You know, he's maybe not as fast as he, you know, he needs to get on a little skateboard that he doesn't even need to push on. Okay. Yeah, the boosted board. I see him rolling down the street because apparently he runs into everyone in New York. And I got a little rock. I got a pebble. And I flick it. And right in the way of his wheel. Hmm.
And then he fucking crashes. And then he probably breaks a bone due to his aging skeletal structure. But there's something, hey man, there's something you need to consider with Casey that I don't think applies to anybody else. I think there's a certain prehistoric strength to him.
That he may bring to this fight that I don't think anybody else would. Why is that? I don't know. I just get the vibes that he's like focused some chakras and chi in his body. Yeah, like he went to...
Like he fucking went to Tibet and like studied with monks for like six months but never talked about it. He's got some shit that I think he'll unleash on us that may not be even on the physical realm but...
But would still give him an upper hand here. He's going to start going like this and pull some Dr. Strange shit out of nowhere. Dude, he might be working with something we don't know. And I think that's interesting to consider here. I think it's closer than we think. Pull it to a close victor? So maybe a close victory then. Yeah, just because of the age factor. I mean, we are nubile.
So I think we do have the upper hand, but I think he's got some tricks up his sleeve. Like there's a twist to that fight. Yeah, there's a twist. There's a twist. He's got some sort of contraption. He's got some sort of spiritual chakra that he's going to start sending out Heidoukens at us. It's going to be weird. It will be weird, but we'll probably win. We'll probably win.
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Alright, is it my turn now? I think it would be mine. You pick Rambo. Why don't you guys talk about Babish? Binging with Babish.
I don't have any confidence in this fight, man. He's bald. He's got bald strength. He is good with knives. Yeah, that's the thing. His entire content revolves around him being well-versed in tools. Yeah. No, he would... Well-versed in tools. Tools. Well-versed in tools meant to cut and prepare meat sometimes. So maybe he would be... His motivation in the fight was like, oh, I'm going to cook these guys. I'm going to turn it... I'm going to...
I'm going to binge on some cannibalism. And you know what? He might just do it. He might pull that off. Yeah. And he sort of got like, you know, if you've listened to his voice, there's an aspect there that could be interpreted as maybe a psychotic level of calm. You know, he's pretty calm there. Yeah. That's like he's planning something, you know, he,
He's got some mastermind energy to him. He does. Also, have you looked at the dude? Like, dude, I'm not going to lie. If he wasn't a cooking YouTuber...
He'd be a fucking killer. He'd be a killer. He'd be going down the street in New York City slicing and dicing up people. He would be. Like Jack the Ripper or something? I'm just saying, man. Just look at the dude. Yeah. Perfect build. He's someone that I could see as like a villain that wears like a butcher's apron, like a leather butcher's apron and carries two cleavers. I'm starting to feel like this is a close loss.
I might even say we die. You think we die? I think we might die. All right, we die. We die. Binging with Babish will fucking cut us up into a million pieces and cook us. And then he'll be calm about it. That's just a dude you don't want to get on their bad side. Because that shit will go down. Yeah. Shit will go down. He has demons, ancient demons that he can call upon. All right. Let's see.
Now, Linus Tech Tips, I feel like I could kill fucking Linus Tech Tips any day of the week. I don't even think that there's even a conversation that needs to be had about this because I think that Linus Tech Tips is just like he looks like he would lose the fight. I need to bring something up.
That's an old, old picture of Linus Tech Tips. You don't understand what COVID did to this man. It transformed him. Linus today is a totally different man than the spiky-haired days. What about that? If I see that right there, that's the face of someone who's like –
You're going to punch me? He's asking to be murdered in that photo. I mean, yeah, but he's got a beard now. He's probably working out now. He's probably buff. Also, he's a tech reviewer. He has all the gadgets and gizmos he would need to give himself the upper hand, but I still think we'd kick his ass. Yeah, but computers are notoriously, you know, they're notoriously delicate machines. You know, these aren't, these aren't,
you know, tools like with Babish in their knives, you know? Right. Like he's got to make sure that he's putting in the pins just so, you know, delicately so they don't, you know, they don't break off and stuff. Yeah. He gets a little sweaty so the touch ID on his gun doesn't work.
Yeah, you just throw a little water on him and I think he'll be weighed down. He'll melt like a witch. I'd say close victory because there's probably a chance where there's no water in sight and so he'll have access to some of the gadgets. Yeah, that's fair. All right, next up. Let's talk about Maya Higa for a second. The bird girl. Yeah. Which one is that? It's that one. Nope. Nope.
Nope. That's Valke Ray. That one. I remember I visited Austin, Texas, December of 2020.
And she had a falcon in her house. In her house. It was just chilling. I think there's a scenario... And now she runs an animal sanctuary with a bunch of huge animals you do not want to fuck with in any capacity. And I think in a fight... Yeah, she could call upon the power of the jungle. Yeah. Yeah. I would say...
Again, with the Linus situation, it all depends what you can bring in. And she can bring in some fucked shit to this fight. She's got to come in and she's going to be riding Stompy the emu.
And I don't know if you've seen that bird in person, but that bird is terrifying. Apparently it's a friendly one. Apparently most of the time they hiss and they snap. So she's coming in with that, and then she's got the macaws that are very...
aggressive-looking birds as well. Look at that thing. That thing is a monster. It's a dinosaur. It's a dinosaur. That is some prehistoric energy. That's similar to Casey Neistat. Yeah. Imagine if she put...
And it's got talons and stuff. It can kick. It's fucked up. That thing's fucked up. I don't want to run into that any day of the week. Yeah. I feel like it is, you know, if we could run really fast and dodge the animals, maybe we could reach her and then we could get her. We could, you know, we could kill her with a punch. Yeah. But I feel like she could, you know, do a little fucking woo-hoo.
Like call. Yeah, there would be a call. And also the power of the jungle is descending upon us. And I don't even... I'm not even interested in that fight, to be honest. I think this is a close loss for us. Yeah, I think this is a close loss. But I do want to add a caveat here. Yeah? It's not looking good for any other woman on this list. Yeah. Yeah, it's not. It's not. It's just simply not looking as good because they don't have animals. They don't have beasts. They don't have animals. I mean...
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they don't have beasts. They don't have beasts. The beasts is what brings my victory here. All right, Tucker. The best guest we ever had, Scott DeWaas. Oh, man. I'm going to kill Scott. I'm going to kill Scott. What? Yeah, it feels mean to say. It feels really mean to say this. I'm going to fly into Ohio. Yeah. And I'm going to...
You know, it would be a tragic thing, but if we're in a scenario where we have to do it, I mean, I'm going to kill Scott DeWaas. I'm going to fucking... Yeah, yeah, I would fuck him up. I'm going to take one of his little disc case, I'm going to open it up, and I'm going to choke him out with it. Yeah, that is what would happen. Well, you know, there could be a scenario, though, he's probably got a lot of games, which means he's got a lot of discs.
I see a scenario in which he suddenly becomes a disc ninja and he starts, yeah, he throws them out like shurikens at us. That could be pretty terrifying. Could be terrifying. But I, look, I mean, I, at the very least, this is close victory for hire. Yeah, I think it's a close victory. I think, I think we're going to beat Scott the Woz. Let's see. You know, I, I think you, I think the doctor disrespect, you know, he, he,
He goes around with his little, what's it called? His fucking Kevlar. He's got this whole macho man thing. He's got his glasses and stuff. It's all going to weigh him down at the end of the day. He's going to be running around in his gear. I mean, Tucker, you're a Marines guy. I mean, how much?
If this guy's decked out in all of his combat gear, how much weight are we talking on an individual here? Probably like 60, 80 pounds. 60, 80 pounds? I mean, come on. He's got a good amount of weight to carry, but I bet he's got a strong core. He might have a strong core, but I mean, he's just going to be slower. He's just going to be slower and, you know...
6'6", 6'7", maybe? Is he tall? He's big. He's fucking big, man. He's big. It's gonna be tough. He does seem skinny, though. It does seem like a Rambo maneuver might be... No, no. He's built. Really? I don't know how to tell you this. This guy's built. Let's look up a picture of him shirtless. Look up a picture of him shirtless. Shirtless Dr. Disrespect, please. Oh, my God. Look at that bicep. That's totally a Photoshop. That doesn't look like a real photo.
That bicep alone, though, that's going to do some damage to you. Yeah, I mean... That's not him. That's not him. Yeah, see, he's... How old is he, too? He's got a... He's got some... He's definitely getting up there, though. He definitely is getting up there. Yeah, how old is he? 41. 41. Oof. His knees are hurting. They are hurting, but I think... Look, personally, I feel like he's got some juice in him. He's definitely got a little bit of juice that could...
I mean, you got to think. I feel like if I came around and just started hitting him right on the side where his... His plate carrier doesn't cover. And I just start hitting him in the liver, you know? I feel like he's not going to like that. I feel like that's going to bother him. He's going to spend a lot of time talking. He's going to be like, I'm the two-time, you know? I'm going to be like, that's nice. Liver shot, liver shot, liver shot.
Liver shot, liver shot, liver shot. That's six liver shots.
Liver shot, liver shot, liver shot. That's nine now. Yeah, that's nine liver shots. Well, I mean, I wasn't feeling too confident, but now you've kind of reeled me back, and I think this might be a 50-50 situation. Okay, I'll take 50-50. I think it gets closer for me the more liver shots I implement. The liver shot is definitely a good tactic. People can't handle a lot of those. Yeah, you can't handle a lot of those?
- Not these days. - You've learned, when did you learn that? - Mr. Beast. - He's been working out. - Mr. Beast, he has been working out. - Recently he's been working out. - Yeah, and he's around our height. - But you could distract him questions about YouTube and be like, hey, what do you think of this? We could use his obsession with YouTube as a means to distract him.
I think this is one of the ones, man, where you have to think of the aftermath of this situation. Really? The fallout of it? Yeah, man. Not only has he got hundreds of millions of fans, he's got a whole company that would collapse.
if we killed him. - Okay, so there's sort of that motivation aspect there where it's like he's working, he has this higher goal. - He's got so much to lose and if he lost it, everyone would come after us. It would almost be like it would be in our best interest to throw, you know? - Yeah.
Yeah, maybe it would be a thing where it's like it's 50-50 throughout. You know, we're like doing that thing where we're throwing punches and they're colliding and the air bursts come out and it's like, you know, and we're mirroring each other's moves. But then he makes a deal at the end and he's like, hey, I'll give you.
I don't even know how much you'd offer. I'll give you a two-second shout-out in the next Mr. Beast video. I'll give you a box of Feastables. Ooh, that would sweeten the deal. Or I'll let you have this silver briefcase but not tell you what's in it. Just take a chance. Yeah, if you give me a close win here. And I think I would take it. I would probably take it. So we'll put it at a close loss then. Yeah, it would be a close loss. There you go.
All right, Tucker? I think you guys should fight the CEO of YouTube, Ludwig. Okay, this is an interesting one. I think that this one's pretty clear-cut. You think this is clear-cut? Tucker already put it where he thought it was going to go. You think you'd kill Ludwig? Okay, think about this. Ludwig, when we had him do the grip strength test, was screaming. He was screaming and trying to cheat the whole time.
And he's not going to have a lot of good, you know, like maneuverability with those fucking fish flip flops he wears every single day. So I think it would not be very, very hard at all to absolutely kill Ludwig. You're right. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't remember that given it was yesterday.
That whole grip strength thing, crazy. That just slipped my mind. It wasn't like almost three months ago, yeah. I usually consider myself perfect equals with Ludwig in terms of physical, mental, and bank account.
Okay. But that whole grip strength snafu, I mean, you know, you raised a really good point. I think we'd fucking smash his skull in and keep stomping. Yeah. Sorry, Ludwig. Sorry. Sorry, bud. No hard feelings. No hard feelings, but you're fucking dead, man. Also, I have a gun. Yeah. There you go. All right. Who's next? You. You picked, Ted. Oh, did I? Oh, I'm picking now. You're up, man. You're up. Okay.
Um, I think that I would absolutely kill the shit out of Asmongold. I feel like there is just something about, like, I don't think that he has, um, and you know, sorry about this Asmongold. I don't know if we've ever spoken a word to each other before, but, um, I just, I'm getting vibes here that you are, uh, perhaps, um, not, you do not contain muscle mass.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get that vibe. I think that, you know, there's something about the massive multiplayer online kind of stuff that just feels like, what's that thing that happens where you have muscle and then it just, oh, yeah. I feel like it's not, maybe he did have muscle at one point, but I feel like he may be a deeply atrophied individual. I feel like there might. Yeah. I think you're right, but I think we have to consider something.
That will be pivotal in this fight. Okay. I think he could be a little frail, and I like Asmongold, but recently someone pulled up a picture of his bedroom on Twitter, and there was blood on the wall. And his response to this, his explanation, was that his gums would bleed at night
And he would wipe away the blood and smear it on the wall. Why? Yeah, just so he could go back to sleep. There's the blood on the wall. Oh, okay.
So I think, yeah, I think there's some kind of wild card here where he might be fucking crazy and he might just unleash this level of strength we've never seen before. Oh my goodness. Or just act in such an erratic manner where we'd be totally unable to counter him. So I think in this situation, personally, I would be fucking murdered by him. This guy's room is almost as dirty as yours, Ted. That's not even, okay. You're in the ass right now.
Mine is like messy, but there isn't... It's not like... It doesn't look like a hoarder's den. I'm putting this at we die. But if you feel like you can murder him, that's fine. But I think he's got something going on that I do not want to... I thought that I could mess with him, but now it sounds like you're like...
The gums! His gums would bleed and he'd wipe them on the wall, bro. It's starting to sound like he's gonna like appear out of a pool of blood like a Dark Souls boss when we try to fight him. That's fucking crazy. That thing he said. Oh, okay. That's an insane person activity. Yeah, no, I think we die. I think we die then. He's like gonna be fucking using blood magic on us.
I don't want to take a chance. I don't even want to entertain this idea. Dude, he's crazy. Yeah, no, I believe you. Jesus. Fuck. Fuck. Okay, let's take on an easy fight. Yeah. Jesus. Cutie Cinderella.
- Murder her, murder her. - Dude, think about it. - Dead in an instant. - Dude, think about it, we're dead. - Dead? - We're dead. - I'm dead? She's dead. - We're both dead. - She's so dead in an instant. - Okay, riddle me this, riddle me this. - Okay. - Riddle me this, just riddle me this once. - Okay. - Would you ever feel comfortable with pissing off Cutie Cinderella? - No. - Do you think that the rage of Cutie Cinderella you could survive
I feel like she could... You're silent. You remember like Sticks and Stones, that whole thing? I feel like her words would do more damage than she could. She could talk my ear off, no doubt, and I'd want to die. But if it came down to fisticuffs, she's gone. Personally, we could put this at 50-50. Yeah, it could be 50-50. Yeah, I feel like it's a 50-50. There's some serious...
There's some untapped destruction that could be unlocked there. I think you're right. I think you're right. I don't want to go into a coffin. Hassan. I have a gun. I don't know about this one. I mean, Hassan has some like... Tucker already put it in We Die. You know, Hassan has...
I used to think that I have broad shoulders and like a large structure in my body. Not a chance. But like, Hasan is just such a incredibly like built individual and just like his bone structure. Like you see him in person and he is like, and I don't know if you saw this recently, but there was a video he posted on Twitter of him getting a, uh,
He's slicing a, doing like a samurai like katana class thing. And he sliced, he sliced. He sliced something with a katana? Oh, geez. Well, that's just the katana. That's the fucking sharp ass katana he's got. Come on. But like he sliced it and there was the delay. The delay before the little wood thing fell off. Let's see if we, this should be it. Look at that.
I'm sorry. The delay. I just, I don't buy that he'd kill us. I don't think, I think one, it'd be against his morals. So at the very least, it's a close loss. I think it'd be a close loss. But there's something else that I really, I truly believe this about Hassan. I feel like Hassan locomotes around this world like he's on a server with 5,000 ping.
Like he's just, he's just got a latency to him that makes him extremely, he's rubber banding everywhere. He's rubber band. He's it's he's just sluggish, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like he moves just so slowly, like a, like a brick wall. I mean like a glacier wherever he goes. He works out a lot though. I play basketball occasionally with a son and he, he's got the energy for it, but he doesn't even like, you can tell him something like a joke. Like you can say something funny.
And he'll, like, it'll take him seconds to figure it out. Yeah, dial up internet. Yeah, he's got some ping to him. I still think, like, I still think he's big and scary. Yeah. So maybe close loss 50-50. I would put a close loss. Okay. All right. All right. Let's speed round some of these. What are some obvious ones here? Some obvious ones. I think we kill Tubbo.
Tubbo is dead. Tubbo dies. Tubbo's dead. Tubbo dies now. Tubbo's the second one. Tubbo dies. Tubbo's dead. Let's see. Speedrun death picks. Speedrun death picks? Okay. I think that we're killing it. Connor. Connor eats pants. Yeah, Connor, you're dead. Connor dies. Sorry, Connor. He's the little guy. The little blue guy. This guy dead. No, that's Jerma. That's Jerma. Be careful with that. Dead.
XQC? You think we kill XQC? Yeah, I think we kill XQC. I think like Asmongold, he's got something that might... I think he's got a little wild card to him where he'll be extremely erratic. But I think, you know what? Personally, I think when XQC... French-Canadian energy right there. Yeah, I think the decider of the XQC battle is whether or not it's live streamed.
Because I think if XQC has got the juicers in the chat, he's going to be extremely hyped up and operating at 100%. But if this is offline, I guarantee you whenever he hits that stop streaming button, he just...
He just deflates like a fucking balloon. And I think that's where we got to catch him. I feel like every time he throws a punch, you'll hear him go, dud. And then so every punch, each dud, it's just going to start increasing in power. I feel like there is a chance for him to have that sort of like when Shaggy was a meme.
As being like this powerful individual, I feel like XQC might have that sort of shaggy, shaggy from Scooby-Doo energy to him where he's potentially. But at the same time, I think that I could beat the shit out of XQC. If you want to leave it at we kill him, that's fine. I think it might be a little tough. So maybe a close victory? Maybe a close victory. All right. There we go.
Who else is an easy kill on this list? Eddie Burback. I think I fucking murder him. Murder. Murder. Eddie Burback. Dead. Murdered. Murdered. I don't even know if he can enter my... Murdered. He's weak and frail. Too nice. If you want to go with that, I think I'll let that happen. I don't know if I can involve myself in this one. Eddie Burback's too nice. He wouldn't even fight, but I would. He is. He's very, very nice. He's a good guy.
Yeah, I don't know if Eddie would involve himself. He wouldn't involve himself, but I'd involve myself. You know, honestly, I feel like kind of similar to how he involved himself in the bacon question. I feel like it might be a no-fight scenario because he would say, don't care. You think he'd don't care out of this? You think he'd just walk right away? He'd say, I'm good, don't care. And then he'd throw his hands up and he'd say, I'm going to go watch a movie. And he'd go...
and he'd walk away, he'd say, I'm gonna go play Tears of the Kingdom. - That is fair. The way he flipped that question on us in that podcast we did with him. That might be a no fight. It might be a no fighter. - I think we put him in the no fight.
I think that we're fucking, I think Ray's dead. I think Ray's just dead no matter. Valky Ray? Yeah, the last one. Yeah, I think that that's a no contest. I think that she is a small little individual. And I think that we're going to kick her and send her to the moon. I think that she is dead. You just keep going. You have a lot to say about that. I think that she is. Yeah, no. I've got something against her.
Well, I was... It didn't seem like you had much to say, so I was, like, trying to fill in the space. No, well, dude, I just got sad thinking about it. Yeah, about how she's going to be dead. Yeah, the funeral and everything. Yeah, the funeral. Yeah, yeah. How about you guys pick a quick one where you know you're going to die? Oh, really? I think that...
Logan Paul. Logan Paul. Logan Paul. Jake Paul's on this list. KSI's on this list. I think those are three easy ones. Trained professional fighters. Trained professional fighters who get energy from involving themselves in battle. And...
Is that Hickok 45 on the list? Another death right there. Yeah, no, he owns, his whole thing is owning guns. We die because we wouldn't even see him. And he's 6'9", dude. What? He is inhumanly tall. Yeah. So he's basically a sniper tower as a person. Look at photos of this dude.
Every single photo, he towers above them. Every photo. That's his son on the left. That's his son on the left? Oh, my God. They are beasts. Beasts. How old is he? How old is he? Because people get... It does not matter, I don't think. Well, I know, but people get shorter as they age, too. So that means that he might have been taller. Yeah, they do. They get shorter as they age. 70s. 72? Wow. Do people not get shorter as they age? I thought the little spine compresses or something like that.
so you can't just call out that's a myth and not explain either way we are toast we're toast yeah look at him totally toast he's gonna it's gonna be bad he has never he has never been anyone but the tallest person in every photograph even hand to hand i think he fucking murders us strangles us look at that that photo is incredible tucker
That's a good one. He is so mental. Look at that man. Fuck, he's like from a different planet. Well, Tarkin, can you explain who this YouTuber is, by the way, for those of you? He's just a he's like one of the oldest and most popular YouTube gun channels. Yeah. Wow. He's like a 17 year old man. He's got a mustache. He he seems like a sweet guy.
It's 6'8", bro. At least. 6'8". Dude, 6'8". 6'8". Oh my God. Holy fuck. What percentage? Can you look up what percentage of people in the world are 6'8 and above? 1.3% are taller than 6'5". Okay. So it's got to be 0.01%. And it says there's not even data available for people who are 6'5 or taller. They don't measure them. They don't measure them past that.
Jesus. Yeah. So 1.8% of the world. What do we got here? You got, you got like all grand. That was too much. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I need somebody. Yeah. No, he's an incredibly rare height. He's a rare height and it would be an incredibly painful gun related death from a walking watchtower. That's a good one. Um,
Yeah, that's an easy death. I think that... Hezbollah. Hezbollah. Easy death. You think Hezbollah would kill us? I don't think Hezbollah would kill us. Are you kidding me? I think there's another Mr. Beast situation where the aftermath... Isn't Hezbollah like 2-1? Yeah, but he's, you know, he's Hezbollah. He's Hezbollah.
I think his posse would kill us afterwards. Yeah, but he doesn't get a posse. No, but he does. He does. Asbulla's got a posse. You ever seen him without a posse? He gets one. Yeah, but if I'm stepping in a ring with Asbulla, I'm fucking doing like a... I'm doing... What's that paddle? Doggy paddle?
What's that paddle with the little ball that bounces off it on the string? Look at that. Look at the people he rolls with, man. Yeah, but none of those guys are getting in the ring. They are. You don't understand. If you kill Hasbulla, they're in the ring. And you're dead. And you're next. I can still fight him. He's also a trained fighter. I thought it was we die for trained fighters. He's literally trained.
Well, that feels silly in my head. There's weight classes for a reason, though. There's weight classes for a reason, you know? I don't think we fuck with this kid. Because if it's only because of his posse, I mean, you know. I don't think we fuck with him. I don't think we fuck with him. I'm going to fucking, I'm going to crush him. I'm going to. I'm exiting out of this conversation. You can claim that. I'm withdrawing from this discussion. All right, all right. I guess we're dying to have his bull, geez.
What do you think about Slotsicle? We need to be honest here. I don't think we would fight Charlie. I don't think we'd fight him, but if we had to? It's just kind of weird that we would even consider post-mortem whether or not we would fight with Charlie. Yeah, he's not around anymore. Yeah, he's not around. He's but a ghost that shows up on holidays. I don't even think you'd punch through him because it'd just be his visage.
Yeah, it's a no fighter. If anything, he would be a demon that haunts us. So if anything, it's either no fight or we die. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, let's keep it a no fight. Let's keep it a no fight. No fight. I think I'm fucking killing Wilbur. Yeah. All right. He's big, man. He's big. You don't realize. You don't realize. He's got some height on him. Yeah, yeah. But it's a Rambo scenario. I'm telling you. It's a Rambo scenario. All right. If it's a Rambo scenario. Yeah. Let's talk about another tall person that would...
be a more interesting fight. I did a thing. I see him down there. I think it's a close loss because he's learned how to box. He's learned how to box, but I feel like I could put up a fight against him. But he would have a contraption too. I almost did get matched with him for Creator Clash. He would have a contraption. He would. He would have a contraption, but he's known to get into a ring without them. Okay, fair enough.
Fair enough. That's a close loss. Or maybe even a 50-50. I don't think I'm beating him. I don't think I'm beating him personally. You know what? If you got in the ring with him, Ted, I don't think you'd beat him either. Okay, we'll put it at close loss. Now we've got our final, how many have we got here? 15? Yeah, we got... I think we just go in order from here.
Okay, so Cody Ko. Cody Ko's been sitting there for a while. I think, look, I've never met Cody, I don't think. Cody is much shorter than...
is he shorter really he's much shorter he you've got it you've got maybe i think he's like 5'8 oh okay so i've got half a foot and he's a computer science major but i am also just did an iron man in australia okay well how good you can run does not equate to how good you can and bike
Same thing. I think this is a close victory. Close victory. I'll take it. I'll take it. Video game, Dunkey. I mean, I feel like we'd win, right? I feel like we would beat Dunkey, right?
I feel like we would be Dunkey. I feel like we would dunk on Dunkey. I don't know if I want to fight Dunkey, man. I wouldn't feel good about it, though. I feel like he's a gem. I feel like he's a gem. I wouldn't feel good about it. But we are trying to identify who we will kill. Yeah. And I don't know.
And again, this is just in case they come on our podcast and pose a markiplier situation on us where we have to fight in self-defense. So it's not like we want this. We don't want any of these fights.
This is not something that we're asking for. Except smosh. This is something that was pushed upon us. I'll get in the fucking room with smosh. So yeah, no, we're going to kill fucking Dunkey. Yeah, we'll kill Dunkey. Kill him. Sorry, Dunkey. Drew Gooden. A lot of people on Twitter would probably be real happy about that Dunkey situation. I think unfortunately, you know, I feel like Drew is also the kind of person that wouldn't involve himself. I don't think we need to worry about Drew.
You don't think so? You think that's a no fighter? I don't think Drew would fight. Drew's got more Instagram ads to purchase. He's like, I got to scroll through my feed. I got to prep this next video. I've never met Drew, so I don't know if that's true. He's very, very nice. I love Drew. Yeah, I think that I would, it would have to be a scenario where I would need you to fight him for me because, you know. Okay, I got you.
But I think it would be a no-fight. Now, Jerma is an interesting question because I feel like he is mystery. I feel like he would... I think he'd start speaking in Latin and then like a demon's coming out of the wall. You know? I do. Here's the thing. I think, personally...
overrated everyone thinks oh germa could kill anything on the planet they speak of him as if he's some god he's no god and we are dangerous ted we are dangerous thank you for bringing that up again because i was starting to forget that we are in fact dangerous we're dangerous i mean but look at that look at that crazy photo right there i mean that's a meat grinder incident
maybe close loss maybe close loss meat grinder incident yeah i don't really know what the meat grinder incident is but the way that that photo showed up and then also that's terrifying is that is that what i'm gonna see as i'm getting pushed into a meat grinder by germa i hope not but yeah that's a close loss
Yeah. Definitely not a weed die, though. I mean, people, yeah. Yeah, it would be close. It would be close. We fucking kill minks. Are you kidding me? Minks?
done yeah well yeah okay we'll consider for a second that she's been in the ring and she's now we kill her we kill her yeah we kill her we totally kill her she'd be yeah done yeah ninja's dead ninja's dead what do you mean ninja's dead dude ninja's not dead have you seen him have you seen his rage
Back in the H1Z1 days, man? Yeah, it's baby rage. The fuck you saying to me, you little shit? It's baby rage, man. He brings that out, man? You don't even know. Look at that. Doesn't look very big. That's not him. That's why. It's because that is not him. Yeah. Why'd you search Ninja shirtless?
I want to know what he's packing. You wanted to know what sort of muscle it was going on there. Fair enough. I think I grab him by his colored hair and I start spinning him around. Oh, dude, this guy's dead.
Yeah. Listen, man. I'm killing Ninja. I don't know. I don't think I'd kill him. I think he's got some rage to him. I think he does have some rage to him. I think it'd be close. He's got rage. I think we eke out the victory. Look at that. That's a crazy person. He's got rage, but he's going to tire out quickly. You know? You think? Yeah. Hmm.
Yeah, he's going to, I think I'm killing Ninja. If you want to put him at he dies, then that's fine. Death to Ninja. I think it's a close victory. And at the end of the day, happy weekend, said the troll face. Yeah. Noel? Is this another Cody situation? Is he short? They're like the same height. I feel like Noel would have a little more pep.
than Cody in this fight. So maybe closer to a 50. I think Noel might be a 50. I feel like Noel has some skills that are unknown. Yeah, yeah. Wobby, I think it's similar, man. I think it's similar. He's dead.
You think you're killing Wubby? You're killing pay money Wubby? Yeah. You can't even see him. He's disguised. He's completely invisible from the neck down. How could you even fucking see him? I am taking him to the River Styx. Look, man. And I am throwing him on that boat and I'm tossing a coin in and I'm saying to the River Styx, the boat person, I'm saying, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, take this to Cerberus and give him my regards. Wow. I'm killing him and I'm sending him to the Greek mythology version of hell. Listen, I stood right next to this guy. We did a game show. I did too. I actually did too. He was imposing, at least to me. No, I think- He's broad.
He's got some width. You were on a handicapped scooter and you were scaring him, okay? You were scaring him with your handicapped scooter. You think I was? I think that it would not take much to take him to the afterlife. Yeah, downtown. Downtown. Yeah. Okay. PewDiePie, we die.
Why do you think that? Okay, look up PewDiePie shirtless muscles. Okay, let's see this. I've never searched this before. PewDiePie shirtless muscles? Holy smokes. Wow. Yeah, yeah. No, we're not winning. We're dying. He even did the... Oh, wow. He scaled the building. He's also Swedish, so he's got that sort of like Nordic Viking...
He's got that sort of Viking blood in him, okay? Which means that if you see him start eating a mushroom, it's like, oh shit, this guy's going into berserker mode. That picture might have changed my mind, man. Yeah, look at that one of him on the side of the building. Look at that. He's got a lot to lose now, too. He's got a family. He's got a kid on the way. He's got a wife. That's the kind of guy that could do a backflip. Look at this. Oh, no doubt he can do a backflip.
Yeah, yeah. No, we're dying. We're dying to PewDiePie. We're PewDie dying to PewDiePie. Yeah. Pokimane? Tucker went straight for the 50-50 there. No. Should we be looking at the... He wanted to change the tab back to PewDiePie shirtless. That's where the mouse was going. I mean, I might be buying one of these, dude. Audio listeners love you to death. Tucker's referencing a shirtless photo of PewDiePie on a phone case.
Pokey Man, I mean, I'm sorry. If I was placed in danger, I feel like I would win. Well, I wouldn't be happy. In my experiences with her, she's very nice. Yeah. Very sweet individual, so I would be surprised. I would be heartbroken if she started trying to kill us. But if it came down to it, I mean...
You know what? I feel like she'd have it written into our contracts in a way that we don't even notice it. Oh, she is. She's a ruthless businesswoman. That she steals like half the purse regardless.
And it's all about the money regardless. At the end of the day, that's all we're doing it for. So it could be a 50-50 split of the profits. I think we would beat her up. So maybe a close victory then? Yeah, yeah. Because we'd still split the money in that case. Amaranth, what do we think? She is so, so short. Is she? Short, yeah. Very short. 5'4".
Yeah, so we've got a foot on her. Yeah. Come on. What are you doing? What? It was an Instagram link. He's going through the carousel while we're recording the podcast. Oh my God. It's an Instagram link. Take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy. I think that
We have to worry about her army of simps. Yeah, we do. It's a fallout situation. There is a fallout scenario that we are maybe not prepared for. Dude, what is this site? Amaranth's body measurements? Yeah, that's a little strange. That's strange. But I think that if we were to...
Kelhart, it would be... Issues. Issues would arise. Yeah. We would have to... I think we need to do no fight or we die. I'm fine with no fight. I'm fine with no fight. I think we no fight. Ryan Trahan? I don't think he's got the juice. I don't think he's got the juice either. I don't think he's got the juice. Danny Gonzalez? Danny? I think that Danny is more athletic than you think he is, though. Really? I think Danny... Yeah. Yeah.
I think that Danny could put up a fight. I think he could. Not a great one. And he just announced that he's having a child. He has a child to live for. I got beef with Danny. Every time I bring you a good video idea,
You're always like, look it up, Danny Gonzalez. And he's already done it. Well, half the ones you bring me, it's like Danny's already done that same idea. I'm like, I'm not going to keep doing it. I know, but it was still a good idea. I'm not trying to knock you for the idea itself. It's just that I'm friends with Danny. Close victory, perhaps? Yeah, I'd say close victory. Maybe even 50-50. I don't want to put it. Shroud. Shroud.
Perfect equals. Perfect equals. You think so? Yeah. He's got that eagle eye. I think what he lacks in maybe height and strength, he makes up with in wit and reaction time. Yeah, he's got fucking bats. Wit. Yeah. All right. And finally, our last choice. Moist critical. Charlie, moist critical. Holy smokes. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. Okay. What's his height?
Look up his height. He's remarkably... It's down there, I know that. He is not tall in comparison to us, that's for sure. He is 5'6". Almost a foot on him. I feel like if I put my hands together like this, where I clasp him, and I raise my arms over my head, and I start hitting him like that with my height... What kind of fucking move is this?
I'm just sweating in my armpits, so I'm not showing my armpits, but I would raise it over my head and slam down like a hammer. A hammer of truth. Five, six though, man. I don't see a scenario in which he kills us. I don't see it either. I don't see it either. I'm not seeing this scenario. It's not computing. Ted, how tall are you?
I'm 6'4". I'm 6'3". This is, this is, like, he's mismatched here. He might have, yeah, I'm sure he has a strong core, but, yeah, I mean. Sure he could do some sit-ups. Sure he could do some fucking sit-ups. Yeah, Charlie's dying. Charlie's dead. He's fucking dead. Okay, you said that. What, what, what, he's gonna come after me? What do you think, what is this face? Dude, you look like the fucking cover of a fucking warhead right now.
I don't think I'd kill him. Yeah. I don't think I'd kill him. Well, okay, fine. Close victory? Close victory? Sure. Sure. All right. Fine. Close victory. I'd say this is a pretty accurate list. I would say this is pretty good. I feel a lot safer now.
I do feel safer in this. You know, again, we really need to put a huge disclaimer on this. We don't want any of these fights. We don't want that yet. We love all these people. They're great. They're great. But if they put us in a situation like Markiplier did yesterday. Yesterday. Literally yesterday. Year of our Lord. Fresh off the press. Okay. Uh-huh.
And we have to fight them like this, then now we know where we stand. Now we know the kind of backup we have to bring and the weaponry that might need to tag along with us in the back of our mind box. I'll tell you one thing. If Mark Player shows up with a posse of Anthony, Anthony and Ian, Tommy, Rambo, Ludwig, Tubbo, Connor, Ray, Wilbur, Dunkey, Minx, Wubby, and Ryan Trahan,
All at once, gone. Bloodbath. We're going to wipe the floor. We're going to wipe the floor. Sly and I are going to look at each other. Throw him in an industrial shredder and then pack him into a cement mix and send him off to a construction company. Sly and I are going to glance at each other and we're going to smirk at each other and we're going to say, let's do this thing. And it's just going to be like a fucking bloodbath. It's going to just be blood splatters on the walls. Oh, yeah. Heads will roll. Heads will roll. You know what? I feel really bad about killing.
Killing Valke Ray. That would be upsetting. It'll be really upsetting if Markiplier shows up and then there's binging with Babish, Asmongold bleeding from his gums, Logan Paul, KSI, Jake Paul, Hickok45, Hezbollah, and PewDiePie descending upon us. Yeah, no, we're running for the hills. Yeah, or we're just grabbing a camera and filming some TikTok reactions. Yeah, there you go. A lot of views in there.
Either way, hey, Chuckle Sandwich listeners, thanks for joining us again on this tier list for, let us know if you think we're right. Let us know if you think we're right. This will be a great comment section, man. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, this is going to be good. One more time. I think that it's going to be a one more time. We love these people. We love them, but at the same time, we're fucking dangerous. We are dangerous individuals. Dangerous.
dangerous i'm always carrying okay and that's just we're just talking fisticuffs i mean push came to shove they'd all be on the top fucking column yeah i'm just saying yeah easy easy i like how some of our reasoning was based around like them having knives and weapons and stuff though but it's still accurate it's still an accurate list it's accurate and it's just for internal use it's just for internal use like please don't send this to anybody
don't send it this is for our records for our internal chuckle for the community this is an internal thing this should not be seeing the light of day even though we're posting this publicly you have to have some have some honor
Have some honor and don't go spreading this around. We don't want to start causing problems. Yeah. And thank you. Yeah. Thank you, Chuckle Sandwich listeners, for listening to this episode of Chuckle Sandwich. We'll catch you next time in the next week on Chuckle Sandwich. Hey. See ya. See ya, bitches. You're probably in the you die category too, by the way. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Jacob, you little fucking...
Yeah. Fucking bitch. Point Dexter ass. Yeah, Point Dexter piece of shit. I'd pack you into a fucking McDonald's ketchup packet. Stuff you up. Compact you real good. Start making you homosexual. Starting to get a little interesting. I'd pack you in. I'd contort you. Who's Jacob? I'm actually starting to wonder who Jacob is now. At least like a couple thousand people listening to this right now.
There it is. And one of them is at least into it.
