Permanently Uninvited 46:48

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Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and nay-triots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. So are we supposed to start? Ready? One, two, three. That was bad. Can you act like an eagle?

Caw, caw. There you go. I can do that better. Welcome to I've Had It podcast. Sometimes the star of our show. She's an off day. Has a hard time finding her hands. Well, you're not looking. See, that was better. We are a place for open-minded thinkers to air petty grievances. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is all the paperwork you have to fill out when you go to the doctor. My doctor that I've gone to forever changed systems.

So I went in for my pellets. Hang on. The thing that you have crammed up your ass? No, it's not crammed up your ass. They make like a little incision in your butt cheek. It's not in your crack. It's not in your rectum. But they cram it in your ass. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how they do it. I've never seen it. It is in your ass. It's in your ass. And it's crammed in there. I think they put like little pills or something in there.

Underneath your skin so they cram it in the ass. Yeah, but not your asshole just in your butt cheek All right So anyway this whole process by the time you deaden it and do all that's brought a 20-minute deal Getting the stuff crammed in your getting the stuff crammed in your ass So they come in and they're like, oh we got a new system. You got a refill out of this paperwork I was done with the pellet before I was done with the fucking paperwork. I

And I was just like, who cares if I had a surgery when I was five years old? Like, shut the fuck up. And then I just got irate over the HIPAA release. Because I'm like, you have to sign a release if they can leave a message. You have to sign a release if they can text you. You have to sign a release that you know your privacy rights. You have to sign a release that your emergency contact can be contacted. You have to sign a release that you know your privacy rights.

Yet they want to know everything about what's going on in a woman's gynecological office. And it was just infuriating. So when the doctor came in, I chewed her out. I mean, not her, but I was just like, how can this be? I wasn't mad at her, but I was just like, how can this be that there's 14 releases about who you can release my information to? And the government fucking wants my information because I'm female. It makes me furious.

furious. I mean, it totally turned the course of my whole day because I was just like, do not sit here and make us sign all these fucking forms about our privacy when you want to track girls' menstrual cycles, when you want Joe Blow dipshit state representative state of Oklahoma to come in and tell me what

I can do with my body. It makes me so fucking mad. Changed the entire complexion of my day. Furious. I mean, what could have been a rather enjoyable pellet being crammed up your ass. Next thing you know, heads are rolling. Heads are rolling. But, you know, to your point, the vice presidential candidate of the Republican Party, he's on the record in his own voice saying,

saying that he wants it to be a felony if a woman crosses state lines to receive abortion care, that he wants women going to prison. Donald Trump himself in his own voice said that he wants it to be a crime and there needs to be a punishment for a woman receiving abortion care, which your had it kind of segues over to my I've had it.

And I've had it with these dumbass entitled white women on Instagram when from day one of this podcast, we have been very transparent that we care passionately about human rights and social justice. We haven't minced words. We haven't said it softly. We haven't whispered it.

To the contrary, we've said, if you don't agree with us, we don't want your follow. We don't want you to subscribe. We don't want you to listen. Go to your megachurch and fuck right on off. We've been crystal clear about this. So it makes sense that we talk about this on our podcast, that our illustrious producer Kylie would put reels together for TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and that same message would be on our social platforms.

I think suburban white women might be some of the dumbest idiots I have ever seen in my entire life. And they think they wield such a big stick because they write in the comment section, I'm never going to support you ever again. I wish you just stick to being funny. Unfollowed. Bye. I'm like, well, Debbie.

Good. Hit the fucking bricks. Go tithe to your megachurch pastor that has a big PJ and a stylist and billions of dollars of net worth and gets PPP loans. And you go be morally duplicitous because one day, Debbie, your little daughter or your little granddaughter might need abortion care. And I will put my head on the pillow at night knowing that I fought for her. Or also, Debbie, one day you might have a queer grandchild.

who is bullied by people. And you might love that child more than anything on the planet. But don't you worry, Debbie, because a lot of us are fighting for that kid when you are too big of a pussy to fight for him. So I've had it with these women who think that we're just pining for their follow-up.

I am relieved when I see that you leave. So listen up, entitled white women. We don't want your follow. If you want to announce that you're unfollowing, I appreciate that because you put it in the permanent record what a bigot you are, how opposed to human rights that you are, and what a Christian hypocrite that you are. Because I go and I click on the profile and it's like, uh,

I love Jesus, blah, blah, blah. And I'm glad that you're making physical documentation to the exact type of hypocrite you are. And I'm so pleased, pleasantly pleased that we are not your people because you make me sick.

Yeah, and there's a lot of that out there right now. In my worldview, I would think it would be embarrassing. Yeah. It would be embarrassing. Humiliating. Humiliating. I just, I cannot wrap my head around people saying,

It's like I get that you have a contrary view to Democratic view. I mean, the healthiest political system is when both Democrat and Republican parties are healthy and standing on the opposite sides of issue and negotiating the best way forward. I'm all for that. I'm all for negotiation. That's not what we have right now. Bipartisanship. No, I know. But what I'm saying is what you're advertising, when you –

support MAGA is that you do not believe in equality. Or democracy. Or democracy. Or the Constitution. I mean, all of it. Women's rights. Women's rights. LBGTQI. Minority rights. Minority rights. Voting rights. People's rights. You don't believe. You are so

You know what? These people sit around and freebase Fox News like a bunch of fucking junkies. Because the first thing they end up saying is, what about the border? Well, I look up where this person lives. They live in Indiana. Right. Which last time I checked the map of the United States of America was quite far from the border. And they sit and watch Fox News who have...

very much identified the enemy for these Christian nationalists. And it happens to be brown people that are seeking asylum in the United States of America. And I would think if you're a Christian, that would be something that you would support. But the facts on the ground are completely different than what these people realize. Number one, first and foremost,

President Joseph Robinette Biden has deported more illegal immigrants than Trump ever did. And those are the facts, but they don't say that on Fox News. Furthermore, Trump killed...

the bill that would have been a very conservative bipartisan border bill. So you can't have it both ways. You can't say you're worried about the border. And then when there's a solution in front of you to help mitigate issues at the border while still being humane, you believe Trump, who I believe he said, why can't we allow migrants from Scandinavia in here?

Right. Well, why does he want Scandinavians? Because they're white. Exactly. So all these white women that thought they had a crush on us at one point because we had a Bravo show.

And you heard the Southern accents and you thought, oh my God, these are my girls. We're not your girls. Pack your shit up, be a moron, announce it on Instagram that you're leaving because every single one of those just makes my heart fill with love. And it expands my heart for more love for the people that you and your hateful political party marginalized have had it. Had it. All right. All right.

It's a light-hearted intro. Yeah, we just kind of went, here's the deal. It's an election year, and we're passionate about this. And we want our listeners to feel passionate about this because we live in a red state where our rights have been taken away. Your daughter's rights have been taken away. My son's girlfriend, her rights have been taken away from her. It's not okay. It's not okay to think that my daughter...

Could die if she wanted to have a baby and there were complications. Yeah, but the pro-lifers. They're not pro-life. No. They're pro-birth. They're pro-birth. Then they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. Otherwise, they do something about guns. They're all hypocrites. All right. Our poor guests that we're about to introduce. I know. They just have no idea what they're walking into. No, they don't. All right. Listen up, listener. Patriots and gay-triots.

Today, speaking of Gaitriots, today's guests, we have Broadway's Andrew Chappelle and fitness icon and New York Times bestselling author, Cody Rigsby, host of the brand new podcast, Tactful Pettiness.

Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in Seattle in September or New York City in November for, you know, just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right.

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back, head over to bombas.com slash had it and use the code had it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash had it and use the code had it at checkout. You know what I've had it with? What have you had it with? Talking about what men need to do if they get a four hour erection. I want to start talking about my four hour nap after sex, but where's my option?

I did some homework and it turns out there is a pink pill for women. It's called Addi and a woman got it approved by the FDA. In clinical trials, Addi was shown to boost sex drive in certain premenopausal women bothered by low libido.

Hell yes. It's prescription and the only FDA approved pink pill. I asked my doctor about it, but you can speak to a telehealth provider online at addy.com. A-D-D-Y-I dot com. Finally, can those be the Super Bowl ads from now on?

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Back to I've had it, Cody Rigsby, who has partnered with Andrew Chappelle. They are the hosts of a brand new podcast called Tactful Pettiness. Hello, guys. How are you? Hey, girlies. I feel like it's just, you know, us four simple gals, Daniel and I having a nice little sit and chat. That's right. When I was thinking about this morning, Cody, you being on, I was like, I remember how great his body is.

Oh, I mean, I'm objectifying you. I know that's bad, but I was just thinking he might be the guest we've ever had with the best bod. Okay, listen. Well, thank you so much. And listen, I advocate for objectifying men because it's not done enough. So please do it more. Our listener will understand that.

It's been, I think it's, Kylie is at 2,475 days since pumps has been laid. I thought it was like 7,000 something. And so, you know, there's a constant anytime penis comes up or somebody's talking about Cox Cable, she immediately starts thinking about Cox. The minute your name came up on the guest list, she's like hot body. Hot body. Wonderful. Yeah.

You know, I also thought the same thing because, well, I'm always thinking about cock. But we just went to go see Inside Out 2 this weekend. And all I could think about is how hot the dad is in that movie. Oh, we love the dad. And I just know something tells me that it's just very weighted. You know, it just fits in your hand with a lot of support. Tendulous balls. Big balls. Very big balls. Mm-hmm.

There's something that his nose tells a story because, you know, there is this thing that's called dick nose. If the nose is big, usually the private parts follow suit. Really? I have never heard that. I've heard big hands, big feet. I hadn't heard the big nose. I've been with some guys with big hands that don't have large penises. So do you prefer, I mean, do you prefer it on the big, the small penis?

You know, here's the beauty of being a gay man that is versatile. You know, like if if the guy's not working with, well, then just be a great bottom. Figure it out. We'll figure it out either way. There's a lot of different options. Yeah. For me, it's not so much about the size. It's more about the aesthetic is it doesn't please me to gaze upon it. Yeah. Really? It pleases me to gaze upon. It will also please me to do other things to it. Yeah. Yeah.

That makes sense. See, I haven't given a blowjob in like over 20 years. So it's hard for me to even picture a penis like in the face type thing. Oh, my God. Look at their faces. You got to get a dick in your face. What is going on over in Oklahoma City? Oh, my God. Actually, when I was in Oklahoma City, I had sex with a really hot guy. Really? What's his name? Oh, my gosh.

I don't know what his name was. Bisexual by chance. I think he might have been like in the closet. Ooh. He, we had sex on his lunch break actually. And he was a stallion. Wow.

Where? Where? At a hotel? Where was the venue? Yeah, he came. He came to my hotel. Was he on Grindr? He was on Grindr. He was he was working in the building above. I was working out and I could sense sometimes on Grindr you can sense that there there's an urgency to them. And I was like, I feel like this guy wants to meet up like now.

And so by the time I finished working out, he was waiting for me in front of my hotel. We did, we go upstairs. We, he said, Oh, I just want to do blow job. And then if it goes well, then I can come back and we can do more. And it went well. And we did it all there in one sitting. Okay. So it was an audition with a blow job first. He auditioned. You see, maybe you could do this. You could audition. I'm just looking at the callback right then and there. Yeah. I'm just,

I'm just so jealous of gay men. There's no emotional. We don't have to go out to dinner and make small talk. We can just go have sex at lunch. Perhaps you can do around the world. I don't know how you can have this. You can have this. It's within your control. Yeah. But, you know, different strokes, different folks. I would love to do that. Now, that's a hookup I would be into. We're just a lunchtime. Okay. What have you guys had it with?

Oh, let me pull up my list. A lot of things that we've had it with. I have to say a few things please me than making a list. And something that really pleased me even more is a list that I can rant about. Yeah, we love to complain, you know, like there doesn't need to be a manager, but I do want to complain. I just want to complain for no reason. First thing on the list. And this is something that happened to me just the other week.

People who are constantly on their phones but cannot text back or reply to your Venmo requests. Waiting for the money, babe. Baby, you owe me money. That's bullshit. That's so true. And I see your ass in your phone. Yeah. What are you doing? Get on it. Here's what I want to get to with this point because I think it's a really good point. If you text somebody and you really need a response to something and they're not responding to you –

But then you get on Instagram and it shows a post that was posted like two minutes ago and that person has liked it and commented on it. Yet your text message that's 15 minutes old is sitting there all by itself unattended to. And that just enrages me that somebody would prioritize their Instagram life over responding to a very important text.

I need to know what you want from Taco Bell. Please respond. Call the police and send it to prison. Yes, immediately. It's enough. It's unacceptable. And I will not. I will not be ignored. OK, the next thing you've had it with, I believe, is regarding people getting married. Go off on that, baby.

You really expect me to get excited about your third or fourth marriage to another person? And I'm spending money on a gift and maybe going to a location wedding? Baby, I already went to Bora Bora the first time when you said he was the one. And that lasted nine months.

I want my refund, actually. I'm sending you a Venmo request, and I need you to reply to it immediately. Yeah, you need to start getting married in backyards. Local only. For me, it's the lack of self-awareness that if you've tried and failed at something three times, that you would continue to invite the exact same people to the fourth attempt. Right.

That's like if I'm really if I really fucking suck at doing a flip off a high dive and I always belly flop, I'm not going to keep inviting people to come watch me do this belly flop. But the lack of self-awareness with the invitation list is really astounding. Yeah, it really is.

- Yes. - My big I've had it that I'm very passionate about because I take the subway every day to work and then I go to Moynihan Station and there's multiple escalators. And most of the time I'm in a rush or trying to get there on time and people here in New York City, and it might be the visitors,

There's two lanes in the escalator, babe. There's the right side and there's the left side. The right side is for the slow people that don't want to walk and move fast. The left is the fast lane. Why do you hoes have you in the right lane and your bag in the left lane and you're impeding me from getting to work on time? I've literally had it. Put the baggage

in front of you and keep it public. I've had it. What I really, this speaks to a larger issue. The rules of the road also apply to sidewalks and escalators. We drive on the right side of the road.

Okay. Move it. Baby, you need to move around. Also, like, open your eyes. Open your eyes. Pay attention. If you get on an escalator and you see a line of people standing on the right side and it's clear on the left, why are you putting your potato butt on the left side, honey? We're trying to get someplace.

I'm trying to get to Duane Reade to buy a $7 water. Thank you. Okay. I need you to move. This is epidemic. It is. In America. But if you go over to London, that shit is so tight. Every single step on the escalator says, keep right, stand left. And they all honor it. And they...

are all like sucked over to the right side so that people can pass. But in America, it's just fucking free for all on every step. You're dodging through rollaways, baby seats, all this backpacks, all this shit. It's fucking trench warfare on an escalator in the United States. I've had it. Yeah. And I, I went to Japan this May, this May, and they are, they are play by the rules. If they were to do this, it would dishonor their entire family. Yeah.

We need more of that here. We do. There's a lot of things. We do. I just need spatial awareness and like a civil society. You know what I mean? Like everybody, please look where you're going. Yeah. Just, I mean, spatial awareness. How about just self-awareness? I am not invisible. I am not the only person on this sidewalk. I am not the only person on the escalator, but you can't find it a lot. You just don't see it.

Because also a lot of people, you know, everyone's on their phones. We're all guilty of looking at the phone. However, what is within your control is stepping to the side. If you need to look at Google Maps and you don't know where you are, step out of the way. Step out of the way. Go over there. Go over this way. Okay? Because if you, just in case you didn't notice, people are walking through here. Okay? This is an active walkway. And I'm no fire marshal, but I will tell someone to move out of the way.

And then think about it. If you're driving a car and you're lost and you don't know what's going on and you have to look at a map or take a minute, you're going to pull off to the side of the road. So let's just equate it. Oh, my God. Wait, remember we went to...

- What? - We went to see "Assassins." We went to, okay, so we go to a drag show. I call, I make us a reservation, and they're actually very organized at this place in Fire Island, where if you have a reservation, they make sure that everyone on the reservation has a view of the stage. So then these late-ass people that didn't have a reservation come in and they see all this open space in front of our table, and they start standing in our way.

And so I, without hesitation, I went up to every single one. I said, oh, baby, I'm just going to move you over here real quick. And I would always start it with the, oh, baby, I'm going to move you right over here. I moved one man. I counted seven times. And honestly, it was for his safety because he could have gotten attacked by a drag queen's wig, a blam, dollars flying into the sky. He could have really lost an eye out there. Right. Yeah.

God, Andrew, I love that because I I'm not scared to do that kind of shit either. I like that before. Because it's almost like, oh, they must be lost or confused. You know, it's like you're helping them like, oh, sweetie, where's your mom? You know, kind of a bless your heart area. Why did you come on this side of the scansion?

Okay. What about the rules, the unspoken rule about getting on of a set onto a subway or getting onto an escalator, the unspoken rules that the smart people follow and the selfish people

dumb fucks don't follow. Let's dive into that. It is quite very simple. If you're getting on the subway, stand to the side and let the people get off of the subway so that there is now space to get on the train for you.

Correct. There's no space for your ass on there when everybody's still on there. And these greedy hoes that run on quickly because they can grab a seat. Like, damn, bitch. First come, first serve. Yeah, I just don't like the elbow culture of it all. You know what I mean? Like, just chill. Just wait. Unless you're quite literally disabled or with child...

I'll happily actually give up my seat. Yeah, right. You walk down here into this horrible rat-infested basement transportation area. I think you can stand for the five minutes to get to 72nd Street. Yeah.

What about the elevator when you're waiting for an elevator and the doors open and the person next to you steamrolls into the elevator before the people get off? I think it's the rudest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Stand to the side. Stand to the side. Stand to the side. Stand to the side.

Like when I walk, I have my dog and, you know, I have to walk the dog, you know, constantly. So she doesn't shit in my house. And whenever we are in the lobby waiting to go back up to the apartment and I know what elevator, cause it goes, I go to the elevator and I stand to the side. I don't stand in the front of the crease of the doors because

Because chances are, there's going to be some homeowners that are coming out trying to hit the streets. Right. And I will also take the dog part just a little further. Oh, boy. If your dog is in a public vicinity, get your dog. Get your dog. Get your animal. Why is your dog on that pulley leash? Why is your dog 10 feet away from you in a coffee shop? Get your dog. Please get your dog. I don't know.

I don't want to pet your dog. I don't think your dog is cute. I don't want to get to know your dog. I don't want to know where you bought him. I don't want to know what breed he is. Just take care of your dog. Get it next to you, please. Yes. Unless we made like a pre-existing reservation to have a dog date, I'm not chopping it to the bit to meet the animal. Okay. Is it true or have I just seen this on Instagram that you can only take your dog on the subway in New York if it's in a bag? Yes.

Okay, so they've actually relaxed on this quite a bit. You would know. Yeah, this used to be a rule that they actively enforced. And since I moved back to New York last year, and I noticed a lot of dogs just like out, you know, raw dogging it on the subway without a bag. And I think now how they're just getting away with it is everyone's just saying it's a service animal because, you know, like you can't really...

The girl... Challenge that. The girls really go heavy on a service animal that's not a service animal. I don't know what the... I don't know how you get that officially signed off, but people are...

Really overdoing it. Well, I feel like that would have been a Ronald Reagan thing where, like, you know, he made it so, you know, people cannot ask you. It's, you know, because imagine if you really did need the dog and you had a disability, you wouldn't want to be like, well, I've got the thing that's wrong with me. Like, they figured out a way to do it. I will say this as a dog owner who also rides a subway. I don't want my dog on the nasty subway floor. Yeah. I don't want my dog with the crack knee.

crack needles and a fucking heroin spoon. Okay. I want my dog in the bag so that when she arrives at her destination, she's fresh and ready to be greeted by the public. Does she ride in the bag on the subway? Oh, she loves, she loves being in her bag. It's her little home away from home. She gets in on her own volition, all four legs. She, she, she has a whole thing that she does when she gets in there.

Pumps, I'm thinking we should start, and I've had it, pickleball tennis line merch. What say you? I love that idea because I do love a little skirt, but

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Okay, we want to play a game with you guys called Had It or Hit It. Let's hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had It. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay.

Had it or hit it. People who are getting a cold all the time. Had it. Had it. Stay home. Go to sleep. Drink your drink, your waters, have your vitamins. Stop going out. Stop staying out late. Eat something healthy. Blow your nose. This common cold is a little too common in your life. It's like a bitch. They always lose in their wallet.

Really? I literally ask where my wallet is about three times a week. But you know where it is. You would have been like lost at last. I have an idea, but like it might take me a while to find it. I think what Andrew's talking about, because I had this friend probably about 10 years ago and we'd all go to lunch and everybody would say, we'll just divide it equally at the end. And everybody's had mimosas. Everybody's ordered shit.

And it never failed every single time. And we're talking more than 10 times. Every single time she'd open the wallet and go, oh my God, I forgot my credit card. Oh my God, I left my credit card at the dry cleaners. It was a consistent pattern of making other people pay for her. Uninvited, Venmo request. This was pre-Venmo. In the modern world. Yeah. Yeah. No, it got to where nobody wanted to get a lunch with her.

Duh. Uninvited. Nobody want to go off on that? Please don't come. No. Because as I famously said, we're running up the bill and we're having a good time. All right. Had it or hit it, the Olympics. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. And hit a lot of them. Hit them. Hit on them. Hit all around them. Hit it the entire...

the men's gymnastics team. Yeah. Got their bodies. And also the Ukrainian gymnastics team. Oh, I didn't see that. And also Great Britain gymnastics team. I didn't see that. Yes, baby. Oh, wow. What about the swimmers, Andrew? Oh, yeah. I got to give it to them. Very hot. Actually, I was at dinner with my mom and we were kind of like at a sports bar kind of place and they had the Olympics on and she said, I really, there was like some Italian man with like white hair and she was like, he's so hot.

And I was like, yeah, you're right, mom. He is very hot. They actually, something that they don't actually tell the people of the world is that you actually have to be hot to qualify for the Olympics. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So I noticed on Instagram this morning, this guy's going viral and he's a French diver, like high dive.

And I'm telling you, the package in his little panties is quite impressive. So when we get off our podcast episode here, why don't you do a little gook French Olympian diver. I will definitely do my homework on that one. You will. And actually, I have a girlfriend who hasn't sucked a dick in 20 years. So I'm going to.

So I don't know if he's got a good package. Maybe she can hop on a flight over there. Delta is a sponsor. Okay. Had it or hit it. Loud chewers.

Had it. Had it. What is wrong with you? You were made wrong. I shouldn't be able to hear the food crunching in your mouth with your mouth closed. I blame the parents. I blame the parents because this is coming from the childhood. If you're not telling your kids when they're out at a restaurant or at the dinner table in your home, honey, you're chewing loud and it's obnoxious, gross, and disgusting. Can you please...

- Shut your fucking mouth while you're chewing. - Oh my God, especially if the room is quiet or you're like eating next to a coworker. And there have been people, they are actually chewing with their mouth closed and I can still hear that noise. - You're chomping. - If you have any loud chewer friends, you need to speak up.

It's as if their fly was unzipped or there was something on their face. I agree. They had a booger. Stop letting it just sit there. That's right. Say something. If you see something, say something. What we want to do is we think it would just be helpful to have people like the four of us that wear a little referee jersey.

out in public. They have a little whistle and a clipboard and a little siren. Okay. So like, for example, you could be positioned in the subway and you see somebody trying to be lying on before other people get off. You sound your siren, blow your whistle and immediately write them a social citation. Yeah. Immediately. This, these can also segue over to fashion citations just while you're at it. If you're feeling doubly ambitious, if you see somebody whose outfit is a complete catastrophe, just go ahead and handle that as well.

And the same thing goes for a loud chewer. Like you're at a restaurant, maybe the four of us are at dinner, and we notice we hear somebody four tables over. Put your ref shirt on, get your whistle out, blow it, and just immediately write a ticket. I think what you have just described is the pitch for our reality show that we're going to do together. That would actually be really fast. It really would be. That would be hilarious. Okay. Had it or hid it, Fire Island. Okay.

Hit it. Hit it. And we have been hitting it a little bit too much. How many times have each of you been laid at Fire Island? How many tricks at Fire Island per person? Maybe I literally would not tell you the number. The limit does not exist. I lost count from the first five hours I got off the ferry and was there on a Friday night. So who knows, babe? I love that. Okay. Okay.

Last one. Had it or hit it. Kamala Harris. Oh, hit it. Hit it. I just fell out of a coconut tree. My mom is very, very excited about the Kamala Harris campaign and come up. How exciting to have a

presidential candidate that was just on RuPaul's Drag Race doesn't shy away from being an ally that advocates... Start the marriages immediately, as she said. I know, I love that clip. Yeah, I think it's just exactly what we needed. I felt like, you know, it was time for Biden to pass the torch, and I feel like we needed new...

excitement in our party because our ideas are correct. Standing with the LGBTQ community is of utmost importance because what y'all are wanting is not more. You want the same. You want equal equality and to be able to articulate that. And I love I think it's just I think it's time for a boss bitch to be in charge. I agree. I'm so ready for that. And also for women's rights. You know, there are so many issues that need to be addressed.

And so I think the thing that was almost emotional for me to see was the influx of excitement about the race when she jumped in. Right. All of a sudden, I'm getting text messages. There's emails. We're organizing. We're excited about this. And we did not have that before he stepped to the side. Honestly, he needed to step to the side.

That's right. Active walkway. Thank you. And so he stepped to the side. Thank you, sir. Okay. Where can our, what are your Instagram handles personally? Oh, here you go. He needs to change this. Andrew needs to change his pot, his Instagram name. It is complicated. And so mine is at Cody Riggs be my name. Go ahead. Go ahead, Andrew. My Instagram is at a

A-C-H-A-P-P-H-A-W-K. And what does that say? A-Chap Hawk. Please allow me to explain it to the listeners. A for Andrew, Chap for Chappelle, Hawk because my Native American name is Hawk Run.

And HHopHop has been my name since my AOL instant messenger. And that's why it needs to change. If I were still using my AOL, I would be embarrassed. I think it's so cute and nostalgic. But here's the thing. I'm willing to change the name, but I tried on Instagram. And Instagram says you have to contact support to change it. Okay, send an email, bitch. And that's tackle pettiness. That's right.

illustration right there. Thank you guys so much. Bye guys. Thank you. Bye loves. I love gay men. God, I love gay men. I just love, love, love. And I know I'm bad at Instagram, but I kind of like his AOL name. A Chat Park. I like that it's his Native American name. I'm kind of into it. I want to take my Frenchies.

and just go to Fire Island for the summer. I want to go have a, you know, people want to go to Italy and have an eat, pray, love summer. I want to go have a gay, gay, gay summer. Oh my gosh, that would be great. We would just game in. I would love it. Yeah. That sounds perfect, doesn't it? I know. I bet there's some gays that play pickleball out there. Some gaytriots. It would be a gaytriot summer. Gaytriot.

Summer. Yeah. This time next year, you're going to be an empty nester like me. That's right. You can have all, we can fire island it up. Totally. We'll just get a little, like maybe, maybe it's when you come out of the closet. Could be. Because one thing's for sure, if you go to fire island for the summer, you're not getting laid by a dick. No.

Probably true. Probably true. All right, listener, we are heading to Seattle in September and to New York City in November. So click our link in bio to buy tickets for our tour to see Pumps, meet Kurt and Meemaw, America's Greatest Legal Mind in person in Seattle or New York. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

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