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Hey, hey, folks. Here we are. We might be drunk. We're back. I hate dumb babies. Oh, say it again. We got Sam J here. We're talking thieves.
What? My pet peeve is like dumb, dumb kids. Oh, yeah. So just kids? No. I think there's kids who like you look at them and even if they're doing kid shit, kids are going to do kid shit. Yeah. But they got like life in their eyes. You can tell wheels are turning and they're thinking and then there's these dead in the eyes just like dummies. Yes. And I hate when people bring me those type of kids and want me to engage with them because I'm like, I don't, there's nothing I could do with this. Like the kid is dumb.
Dad and I. There's nothing going on. You're carrying that entire interaction. Yeah, and I already don't really want to interact with a kid. No. Like, at least let them be. Will you never have kids, do you think? I don't think so, no. But you're in a serious thing. Mm-hmm.
And you have been for a while. Yeah. But kids, it's come up or no? I mean, yeah, but we're like lesbians. But there's ways around it. I know, but that's what I'm saying. You have to make so many decisions and I just don't think we're going to make them. That's a good point. It's not like an oops. That's what I mean. It's mad decisions and choices and I just don't think we're ever going to get there. If you did adopt, would you go different race?
like maybe chinese that wouldn't bother me all right i wouldn't bother me i used to just joke about how i was gonna adopt the chinese baby um because that's how lesbians show that they got money and people people got mad at me that's funny people get mad over everything hey tell me about people do audiences get mad no like i think people like when i say people get mad it's like
It's always usually after the joke is out somewhere and then you're like, how dare somebody say that on a Saturday night and make people have a good time. It's like, all right, bro, you're watching this Tuesday. You're coming in at the wrong time. It's literally like someone opening the door during sex and being like, well, I wouldn't fuck you. And like, I'm not asking you to. What's the problem? Yeah.
But no, yeah, I would adopt another race. I always think maybe later in my life I might adopt a teenager or something. Just because I was a teen with no parents and shit like that. And then I think, I don't know, teenagers is just a lie. And I don't want to have to stab a fucking 14-year-old because they acting crazy in my house. Yeah. You want to establish the dominance of the younger age. Because if they act tough, you really got to stab them or something. Exactly. A teen comes in hot. Yeah.
That's right. You're missing this part of their life and you're going right to this. That's tough. Yeah, but the teens, no one wants them. Once an adopted kid gets too old, it's like a dog. That's why I would thought about doing it because that's the ones who get left the most. And you only have to put a few years in. You know, you're 18 now. I did my two years. Yeah. Good luck out in the real world, fatty. Mm-hmm.
why are they fat oh wow he calls everyone fat oh okay dang that's like his old buddy old pal that's his yeah plus the fat ones don't get adopted either so he want to help them out too is it like the pound do you walk in and kind of point at the one is it like the pound I don't know
I remember I was talking to a girl once who adopted a dog and she goes, I said, did you adopt one? And she goes, none had that it factor. Wow. That's a pretty horrible thing to say. I don't think you're going in with the right attitude. Well, I knew a girl, she would adopt a dog and hang out with it for a week and go, it doesn't feel right. And she would bring it back. I was like, you're killing this dog. People did that during COVID. That's messed up. It's like, if you adopt it, you got to stick with it. But that was a big COVID thing. Yeah. I feel like a lot of people were like, I want a pet. And then they got back to their regular life and were like, nevermind.
Yeah, totally. That's pretty fucked up. Oh, yeah. Kevin Iso did that. Really? Yeah, he was bringing the dog to shows and stuff for a little while. And then I was like, what happened to the dog? He was like, I gave it back, dog. I was like, bro, what? Now, here's the question. You can do that with a kid. I think you can, actually. Really? But yeah, I'm pretty sure that you can. Damn, that'll fuck a kid's head up. Would you break up? Do you say it's not you, it's me? It's tough.
I don't think you can bring a kid back. I think you can. Different orphanage. That's what I'm saying. If you can give up your real kid for adoption, I'm pretty sure you can give an adopted kid back. Right? There should be a trial period. Or your biological kid, I should say. You take a car for a test drive. Can I get two days with a kid? Now you're talking. Can I see if we vibe? That's a good question. I don't know.
I like that. You're thinking about having a kid. Yeah, I gave it a couple years. You're married now, right? Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Crazy. I never thought anyone would want you like that, Mark. That's why I did it. She was the first person to say, I would. Are you married? It'll never happen again. I'm engaged. I'm engaged. Whoa! Congrats. In the lesbian relationship, who proposes to who? I mean, I don't know.
think it's different for every couple but I happen to be the man in my relationship unfortunately so the shit falls on me but I can't speak for everybody it's different for every situation you know
Did you do the one knee, the Kaepernick? I did the one knee. I did the whole thing. Nice. Yeah, I know what type of lady I'm marrying. She wants the whole show. I did it too. It feels weird. I was nervous. It's scary. Even though I knew she'd probably say yes, I was still freaking out. I was pretty confident, but still, maybe not. Exactly. What did you do? A dinner or what did you do? I did it at my birthday party, which it was like my birthday was kind of like to hide the fact that it was really an engagement situation. Ah.
Wow. That's nice. How long you been together? I've been dating my fiance off and on for 15 years. We met in college. Holy hell. Damn. So the sex is over. We're not doing it a lot, but when we do it, it's bomb as fuck. All right. That's what I'll say. We don't fuck a lot, but it's really nice when we do fuck because it's like,
- Oh yeah, your pussy is fire as fuck. It's like you forget and then you're like, oh shit, no, this shit is fire. You know what I mean? - Hell yeah. - It weirdly brings you back to each other. - Yes. - Oh, hell yeah. - Right. - This is why I'm into this as much as I'm into you. Like as a person, you got fire pussy and I forgot about it. - Was that the proposal?
Do you know those wallets that light on fire and get a ring that just blows up? Fire pussy. Damn fire. A fire pussy. Love it.
Love a fire pussy. But yeah, it's great when you have that old sex again. And it comes back and you're like, oh yeah, this is what we were doing 15 years ago. And I think now we're at a place, I think before it was like, you gotta grow up. So at some point it was just like this contentious place where she'd be like, why aren't you fucking me? And I'm like, stop making this my job. You know what I mean? It just becomes like this weird back and forth. But now we're both at this place where we're like, we just want to be fucking more.
So we're both just like doing things and making the effort to make sure that happens. And that's been working out like pretty fire. Like we went to the Poconos like six months ago to like fuck like poor people. And that shit was fire. We got a hotel with a circle bed and the nasty ceiling. And it had the champagne glass jacuzzi top. Oh.
I like that. Yeah, and everything was leather. Like, all the couches, everything was leather. Oh, good. And we had a pool inside the room. Damn. A pool? Yeah, like a little door you open. It had a little heart-shaped little cocoon type. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, sure. And then we just fucked, like, nasty people. Well, there's something about a hotel. Because at your house, you get sick of fucking people.
of there. It's the same routine over and over in a hotel. You're standing up, you're scissoring. You gotta take the pussy to other spots. Exactly. That gets you really, like when I take my girl out to country, then I'm like, I wanna see what this pussy do in Paris. You know what I'm saying? You gotta travel the pussy around. So true. It's so nice to just throw a condom wrapper on the floor and be like, someone else will deal with it. I don't use condoms, it's my dick's plastic bag. I'm talking about us here. No, it's nice to make a mess of a room and not...
Dude, I'm jizzing on drapes. That's crazy. Oh, hell yeah. That's fire. Yeah. I wish I could jizz. You can't squirt? I can't squirt, bro. Oh, give me an hour. An hour? Well, jizzing is great. That would make me depressed. If you were the first person to make me squirt, I would have to reassess my entire existence. Yeah, that would fuck up your psychology. Well,
Wait, wait, wait. When Mark does it, he goes, comedy. Oh, boy. Murder. I did it. Yeah, squirting. I feel like nobody mentioned squirting until 1999, and now it's all over. It's like eating ass. It just came in one day.
Yeah, and it's like a big debate. It's like now, like I see on the internet a lot, it's like men be like mad, like all of it ain't squirts, it's pee. And now there's this argument, is it pee or is it squirt? And I think the amount of women who are saying they could squirt, I think some of them pissing. I think so too. Because it feels like it's like a real skill you got to hone. Oh yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because like as a woman, the pressure point feels the same. You know what I'm saying? It feels...
When you feel that, even if there's a big dick in you and it's like, and you're like, ooh, you feel a dick, you're like, I gotta pee. Even if you don't, that's when the pressure kind of makes you feel a little pee-pee-ish. Interesting. I didn't know that. I guess it's pressing against your spleen. Give you the same feeling when your spleen's full. Baby, I don't know. You never done that? But I believe you. It sounds like you got the real fast. That was so clinical, man. That was...
Are you a gold star gay? No. Oh, okay. So you dabbled with the male. Mm-hmm. All right. The male, yeah. You lost your virginity. We did that podcast together where we talked about it. You lost your virginity to a guy. I lost a basketball game. Yeah. Ooh. Point guard? Playoff game. Oh, wow. No, I was watching basketball while he was inside of me. Big Celtics fan. Wow. I've seen you roll in with your Jalen Brown jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's your guy. I'm a big Celtics fan. I like Jalen Brown a lot. Yeah. Damn.
- When you were doing it, were you like, this isn't for me? - I don't think I had to, like, I was young and I didn't really know what was for me, you know? I just knew like, I didn't hate boys. It wasn't, when it was happening, I wasn't like, ew, oh my God, I feel so gross after this.
Yeah. This is fine. And then I had sex with, I didn't understand what people loved about sex. I was just like, it's fine. Right. You know what I mean? Like, that's where I was with it. Like, my homegirls were like, and it feels so good. When you feel it in your stomach, and in my mind, I'm like, I don't like that part. I don't like feeling it in my stomach. Or like, ew, that's not cool to me, but like, it's fine. Yeah. But so I didn't have that, like, association with it. And then when I had sex with a woman, and I was like, oh, yes, no, it's fire. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like,
I just, you know, it was a little bit clueless. Sure. Well, we had the same sexual history. I started with a guy and then women. It is weird to start that way. It is weird to like for the first, your first sexual experience is just not what you like. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But you don't know what you like either. So I didn't know that I didn't like it as much as I just was like, I'm not feeling how everybody else is feeling. Right. You know what I mean? But I didn't. I mean, I came and stuff. Oh, wow. But I was just like, I don't know. It's fine.
Yeah. I don't need this to happen. But it's a different come when you're with a woman. Oh, for sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. But now you say you're the guy and are you doing all the pegging or whatever you call it? The strap bonding? I don't think it's called pegging when it's a woman. Oh, well, what do you call it? We know what kind of porn Mark is watching. You guys had me pegged all wrong.
What do you call it with a lady? It's just a strap-on. Oh, a strap-on. It's called sex. Sex. Okay. Yeah. But you're behind, and you're doing the pumping. They don't got to be behind. I like to look my girl in the eyes, baby. What's up? Not me. I'm a lover.
Oh, yeah. No, I don't get strapped, if that's what you're asking. You don't like it? I mean, I'm good. All right. I'm good. I like the power dynamic I got going. Yeah. I don't need to add no crazy shit to my household. Yeah. They should make strap-ons that shoot a little load or something. They got those. They do? Yeah, baby. Whoa. It's like Spider-Man. You just shoot like this. You hit a button, and then they're like, poop, poop. You know what I'm saying?
Really? Yeah. It's just a bang. It's a little flag. Some of them is whipped cream. Whoa. Some of them is like a fluid. It's all very stupid. That's a tough one to break out of the dinner table. It's very dumb. It's a lot of make believe going on. Yeah. Sam has that button that's just in his butthole.
Milk the prostate. Oh, yeah. They got vibrate straps, all types of shit. Whoa, man. Yeah, we have a friend. I don't know if I'm not going to say him. We all know him, but he's a big peg guy. Really? He loves getting pegged. And now I can't see him. I see him differently now. Wow. Yeah, I'll tell you after. I wonder who it is. Oh, very close. Really? You love getting pegged? That's fire. It's Matt.
Interesting. Yeah. I mean, I can't say I would. Like, maybe when I'm old and shit. Because I feel like your sexual appetite changes over the years. For sure. And whatever. So I don't ever say no, ever, never to anything. Yeah. Because I ate pussy. You know what I mean? So, like, I know I'm open. Right. You know what I mean? But as of right now, I couldn't really...
I couldn't see that. No. Uh-huh. If pegging is like oysters, you can't come out of the gate with oysters. You kind of have to develop a palate for it, you know? Yeah. You don't see a 16-year-old eating oysters. Yes. Yes. But if you're a little older, yeah, you give it a shot. But then they say a woman's sexual prime is mid to late 30s.
Like, that's when you're the horniest. Oh, by 40s or some shit? Yeah. 40s too, yeah. Okay. It's a weird design because we're 18, 19, 20. I'm still horny. I mean, I am too, but not as much. I think too, like, it might have something to do with biologically, like, your clock running out. Oh, right. And, like, your body feeling like, hey, we need to reproduce maybe. Yeah. The shot clock's winding down. You got to fucking make a move. I know I definitely, like, feel that now where it's like,
My body is going, because I've never had kids, and my body is going into hyperdrive. And is your body saying, I want kids? It's like, you need to do this. You need to get to it. My periods are a lot worse than they've ever been in my life, because I feel like I'm producing way more estrogen and shit during that time, because my body is like, girl, I'm
We need to make something happen. Even women's bodies are passive aggressive. That's crazy. We need to make something happen. Yeah. My periods are crazy now. When I was young, girls would complain like, oh, this thing. I didn't feel shit. I'd have a three-day period. I'd be like, this really ain't that big of a deal. And now I feel nauseous. My titties swell up. My nipples be sore. Wow.
- It's like misery, it's like misery. And I know it's my body being like, "Bitch, have a baby." - Being a woman's hard, man. - Oh yeah, biology is the ultimate misogynist. - Make a baby now!
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, right? It's like, no. Damn. Yeah, my lady's got the IUD. So no period, shooting all over the place. That's good. All good. I'm happy for you. Shooting up the club, that's what we call it. It's Orlando in there. It's Pulse. Yeah, but then she has to do the waddle to the toilet, which is always awkward. You know. Oh, for what? Well, if I shoot it, this is getting graphic, but if I shoot it in her...
She's got all, it's going to fall out. Oh, it definitely falls out. The IUD falls out? No, no, the jizz. Oh, yeah, yeah. It slides on down. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So crazy. Now, if the IUD comes out, I was like, that would be terrible. No, no. Never seen that shit. But you can feel that thing sometimes on your head. A little paper clip. Yes. In case of hitting it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A little pee hole action. Yes. That stinks. And it's kind of sharp. It's sharp. Yeah, it's awkward. Yeah. Yeah.
Not a fan. I'm sorry, Mark. You know what? We were just... Oh, you said this shooting thing and I was just watching...
Saved by the Bell, like just was on TV today. - New or old? - Old one. But Screech would have been a school shooter today. The shit he went through. He was just in love with a girl, it never works out. - Lisa. - Lisa. Yeah, that's the one I saw, like Zack is kissing Lisa. - Screech always gets his little feelings hurt. - I know. - But that's also like a good lesson to these new kids that act like nothing's supposed to hurt their feelings. Like that nigga Screech was a dog. 'Cause he used to just get his feelings hurt,
everyone was always kissing on his bitch and he still hung out with them niggas. He still was like, yo, like this ain't personal. You know what I mean? I just happen to be a nerd now. He had no choice. This is just the world. He also was like, this is as good as it's going to get. Screech was cool. And then he also like, he just allowed himself to grow in that. And then he became the principal. Remember? Like he took over Bayside. Oh yeah. Right. That's what nerds do. They tend to win in the end. They struggle in high school.
I didn't remember. I didn't stick with it that long. Oh, the college years. The college years. He was a principal? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was like a... Well, high up there. He worked at the school and shit. Exactly. That's how it goes. You bully these kids all day, then before you know it, they're the CEO. I did watch college years, too. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
It's the edge of tomorrow. It's crazy how bad the writing was. It felt like you could whip that script up in 10 minutes. It was great. But you have to think, it was writing for our young brains. So it was good. I feel like kids need more of that shit. I'm like, I don't know. I see what they watch on Disney Channel now, and I'm like, ugh. Our shit was like, it had depth. Yes, it was a little more adult. Hell yeah. Remember when Jessie was on the drugs? Yes. She was trying to study. I'm so excited. And she was all spun out. Just kidding. I didn't.
No does. Word. She was fucked up. There's no time. Slater was like, Jesse, you need to fuck. Slater wasn't having that shit. No, no. Yeah, see, that was drug addiction. It was like racial tension with Lisa sometime. It was heavy stuff. Hell yeah. Family Matters 2. Yeah, I used to love that. I mean, shit, I was just watching the old clips because I was thinking Larry Johnson. Remember, he was cross-dressing. That was ahead of his time. Grandma Ma on Family Matters. And Duncan.
Oh, yeah. Duncan. Yeah. Gave us insight to the future of the WNBA. Right. One guy became a porn star. One of the girls on the show. Screech became a porn star. Yeah, that's right. Dustin Diamond became a porn star. I'd say he was a star. He has a huge dick. That's all I know. Does he? Oh, really? Yeah, that was the whole thing. Screech is packing heat? That's the whole thing. Good for him. He earned it. He needed something. That was the whole deal. His dick big. What?
And he stabbed a guy. Dustin Diamond stabbed somebody. Oh, yeah. Pull it up. So maybe he kind of did turn into a school shooter. School stabber. Whoa! Told you. He's got meat. Damn. He's got a cut, too. He's got abs. Six pack? Screeches abs. Is that him? His face looks a little different. Well...
All right. Close up, more close ups here. I think that's Screech, bro. Damn, not a bad hog. Screech was a decent piece. Yeah, not bad. Really became a school shooter. Now people are like, Screech got good meat. That's what I heard. God, he needed something. Good for him. That must have been a tough, you're watching that show and you're like, if any one of these characters dies first, I got my money on Screech. And I don't know
It also has to be tough to be screeching, you got like this huge dick and then every day for your like role, they just emasculate you. It was like, giant dong in your pants. I'm sure he got laid though. Like in the early 90s, I'm sure he was, you know, he was on TV. There was some novelty fucks coming. Oh yeah. He was getting butt for sure. But Zach Morris was definitely getting bad at bitches and I'm sure he was like, my dick bigger than his though. Yeah.
And how about Slater? I mean, he was fucking epic. Slater's the man. Still looks good. AC Slater. Looks better now than he did then. You have any Slater stories? Never sat in a chair frontwards. Just a goddamn, the coolest guy on the planet. Tank tops to school, guns out. Cut off a plaid shirt and shit. A shag. Yeah. The curly mullet's rough. Come on, man. That's a bad look. He was a hunk. As people of color, we call it a shag. We don't have mullets. The curly mullet?
We don't have mullets. It's a shag. He's a white guy, though. No, he's Hispanic. Lopez. Look at that. Look at the dimples. Come on. What a hunk. Come on. A little cut off football. Oh, yeah. Showing a little stomach. Uh-huh. Get the fuck out of here. The shag. He's still ripped. He's on ET. I would have fucked Slater for sure. Really? Damn. Would you still fuck Slater? Not now. Is there any dude that you'd get a hall pass for? Like who I love? Yeah. Yeah. What if Jalen Brown was like, I want to fuck you? No. Ew.
I don't like those type. Like, when I think about fucking guys, it's like, it's not usually the guys, like, I, like, admire. It's usually, like, I have a very particular type. It's not that type. Uh-huh. I like, I like dreamy white guys. Like, you gotta be classic California. Oh. Like, blue eyes. Like Jack Morris. Like a Helmsworth. Yes. Like, dreamy. Yes. Okay. Give me like that. Give me that. Or, you gotta be like, hmm. Yeah.
- I got like Paul Rudd. - Oh yeah, he's cute. - There's a fact that he's kept it together, do something for you. 'Cause he's in his 50s, but he looks great. - He looks amazing. - I'm attracted to older women who have kept it together. - Morris Chestnut, who I saw at the Knicks game and I had to let him know. I was like, "You fine, for real."
What'd he say? I was like, sir, I am very gay, but you are very fucking fine. That's the ultimate compliment. He's fine as fuck. Really? He is fine as fuck. I don't normally like your gender, but for you I'd make an exception. Oh my God, he is fine. Praise. It's like classically, he's just very good looking. He's a handsome guy. He just oozes like, fuck me. Yeah. What'd he say when he said that? He just laughed and smiled and I got wet. So he's still got some stuff in there for the guys.
I mean, I think there's a level of hotness. It's just like, who doesn't? Yeah, I hear you. You know what I mean? It's like, you fine, man. Yeah, I'm not into dudes, but if I see a good-looking guy, I'm like, whoa, that's a handsome son of a bitch. Yeah, like, you fine. And then you have to think I took dick, so my pussy remembers. It's like, hey. It's true. It's like pussy flashbacks. Yeah, the pussy never forgets. It's like an elephant. It's got it.
Damn. Yeah, you ever hooked up with a guy? I made out with a boy when I was a kid. Whoa! It's in my special, that bit. You know the bit. Oh, that's right. How old were you? I was in second grade. Oh. You were just figuring shit out. I was pretty innocent. Like a full make-up, though? Like tongue? Yeah, we made out. You can remember this tongue. Yeah, yeah. Who is the boy gay now? I don't think so. I think he's just weird.
I think he just kind of grew up to be kind of like a curious kid. Like, I'm curious because I'm weird, you know? I mean, I think that- How did you leave feeling? Do you remember the feeling or it was just like- I remember telling my mom, I think I'm gay. And my mom was like, you're not. She was like, I know you're not. She didn't even let you be-
interesting. She was just like, I know you're not. That's what I mean. She didn't even allow you to be interesting. She's like, you don't got it. She would have been fine if I was, but she's just like, I know you're not. No, no, that's what I'm saying. It wasn't like, oh, you can't be gay. It was more like, you don't got it. You don't got it, kid. Yeah.
She said the same thing when he wanted to be a comedian. She's like, you don't have it. I know you think you're interesting, but no, baby. No, but I definitely, I would have taken it further with this kid. He was kind of the prude. I was like, I remember I said to him, I was like, what do gay people do? And this is how much we knew about homosexuality. He said they rub dicks. And I couldn't get a hard dick at that point in my life. So I was like, I said, let's do it. And he goes, no. Whoa.
I got shut down. You got rejected? I would have taken it to that place. You got rejected? Yeah, I got rejected. Second grade is not really boner time. No, but I think I just was like, well, this is, in my head, this is wrong. This sounds like you were really liking this, dude. I liked it. I felt like you
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You were just in the movie, uh, You People. You had a big role. I haven't seen it yet, honestly, but I heard, I heard it's- Well, then we're not gonna talk about it, Sam. Why? I don't know. I saw it. You were great. Thank you. Yeah. No, I heard you were hilarious in it. It was fun. It was fun. A lot of good jokes in the movie. Yeah. It was fun.
- Can't deny that, I had a good time. - Yeah? - I mean, what a cast. Eddie Murphy and Julia Lee Dreyfuss, two titans of comedy. - What was that process like? Did you audition for it or were they just like, "We want you"? - The second one. - That's pretty damn cool. - That's a nice place to be. - Did Jonah write it for you? Who's the other writer? - Kenya and Jonah wrote it together. No, they originally wrote the role for a guy and then Kenya just called me and was kind of like, "Yo,
I got this part and I think you could be dope. And that was it. Damn. Some real shit in there. Yeah, that was it. Some real facts about racial relations in our country that I wasn't ready for. Okay, that's cool. That's dope. The Muslim Jew stuff, you mean? That's the stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's fun. Let's dive in, you know? We're getting away from that in comedy. Let's go back to that where we just... Talk shit? Yeah, go towards the shit. I mean, that's what, like, honestly...
out of all of it, that's what kind of attracted me to it at all was like, they are trying to have an honest conversation in this. As much as you can in a Hollywood vehicle with all the Hollywood tools kind of twisting it and turning it, they're trying to pull a real conversation and like a real dialogue out of this shit. And that was like super interesting to me. Hell yeah. That's about time.
Because we got all kinds of shit going on and then we can't discuss it. I think it just gets weirder. It's almost like a relationship, you know, and like it's getting weird in the relationship. You don't discuss it. It just keeps getting more weird. There you go. Talk about it is just going to fester. And it also creates extreme energy on both sides of things. Well, that's the problem with not having like all these news networks. It's all just for one group of people. And then.
you just get angrier and angrier and that's social media now. - Yeah. - It is. Everything's happening in a silo. - Right.
Did you see, oh, sorry. Mm-mm, come on. Did you see the Jon Stewart thing where he, you know how he did the lab leak thing a year ago or whatever with Colbert? He showed, last week he showed the backlash he got. And he's like, look, look how bad this is. Everybody says I'm anti-Asian, I'm racist, I'm alt-right. I didn't see that. I thought you were talking about the gun interview. Oh, that too. Well, he said it was made in a lab on Colbert. And Colbert was like, well, I don't know.
don't know uh he was nervous and then it came out that it probably was from a lab and he's like well look i was kind of right and everybody trashed me but that's the problem like i was just having that conversation and like everybody has to make a choice to tell the truth
And not this choice to not make people upset. Yes. On both sides. People are here. Just fucking be honest. Because now, truly, and from reputable news sources, not just like wild people screaming things into a Twitter sphere. Right, right. Reputable news sources at this point are saying, yeah, we're pretty positive this came from a laughing stock.
They were pretty positive this is the situation. Right. Which on some level, isn't that better? Yeah. That it was an accident? But it's like, also, when that happens, the fucking...
liberal media and liberals in general who when trump who i hate most of his opinions right but when trump was saying this is probably some lab shit right and everyone was like you fucking dumb fucking dummy you're so fucking dumb exactly you have a responsibility to say hey we were fucking wrong i know no one will ever go back wrong this was actually not that dumb
Because when you don't validate and step up and own your mistakes and own whatever the truth is, what you do is then validate the extreme right who's like, don't listen to nothing, none of them say, eat a horse tranquilizer. Nobody knows what the fuck they're talking about. Yeah.
You know what I'm saying? You fuel that fire because you're not holding to honesty and truth on this side. No matter good or bad for you, you have to hold that beacon, especially if you're like news or any type of source of validation that we look to as a society because all that misinformation from both sides just creates distrust. And then you can't
fault these people who are middle of America sucking down horse tranquilizers or not believing shit because it keeps coming to be that this shit ain't true. I think even the people, even saying it was horse medicine is like kind of misleading. Of course. But the you're right and
That's kind of where we're at now, right? I mean, I think they got so caught up with hating the messenger in Trump that even if there was a message that had truth to it, they became obsessed with just... And you have to say, you know, though we disagree with this person, there might be some truth to what he's saying here. And that's actually how you keep your viewers long term. Hating the messenger with anybody. Yeah. Yeah.
The hate of the messenger with anybody, everybody's caught up in hating the messenger to the point where like, knowing some of the truth and that's dangerous when it's news sources and the fucking government. Like these are the two things, like society needs these things to be honest. - Yes.
It's the metric. So if you don't have that, no one knows what the fuck to believe. I know. But the problem is also that they get their ratings by saying outrageous shit to keep you on the channel. When there's a 24-hour news cycle, you keep people watching by saying outrageous shit. And that outrageous shit is often... A news channel that would be reputable and actually trustworthy would be kind of boring probably. Ah, but boring. But now it's entertainment. No, that's the best news. Of course it is. When I was in...
I did this joke and I'm sure mad other people, if you are a comic and observant in Europe, you did this joke. But I was like, y'all, I watched the BBC news and I was like, and this shit was just news. It's just boring. I'm used to America. But this shit was just like, this happened up the street at three o'clock. Right. Then this shit happened. Like it was just. Al Jazeera was the same way. News. Right, right. It didn't give you anything else. It was just like, here is information. Yes. There was no opinion.
It's foreign. You're like, well, it's jarring when you see it. It was just news. American news is like emotions. Yes. It's emotions. It's emotions. You're right. A lot of times it seems to be factless at this point. Yeah, yeah.
That'd be great if they delivered the news like you did. Some shit happened over here. Bro, that's it. I was like, no matter what, because even the bad stuff, I didn't feel like the anxiety I feel watching American news because they weren't like, fires in the Bronx. People burning up. It was just like, there was a fire in the Bronx. Yeah. At 2.30. Exactly. On the street. And that's how the news should be delivered. Right.
- Monotone is how you should get your news. - There's no energy. - Somebody actually said that recently, like, "We should bring back Walter Cronkite." And they're like, "What do you want to bring back? Racism of the 60s?" Like, no, no, no. I want Walter Cronkite back. Just give me news. - Just give me news. Because this news is crazy. Like, and it's crazy on every level. It's not just politically crazy. Last Halloween, I was watching the news and they were literally like flammable Halloween costumes. And then they had a blow torch thing and they were just setting costumes on fire. - Wow. - And it was like, bro,
I don't even know why I need to know this. Yeah, yeah. Like, truly and honestly, what are you trying to do to me right now? I know. Just make me fucking terrified. Well, if you see what the most popular in the New York Times articles are, it's always something like Harry and Meghan, and that's probably bad for them. I also, you know, because this is kind of mindless shit, you know? Oh, yeah. And then you look at it.
at the op-ed section of the New York Times, I remember back in the day it used to be like four people. Yeah. Now it feels like most of the fucking newspapers. That's true. Halloween costumes or something like that. It was like, truly, and they were like, these costumes burn. And then you're just doom scrolling. You're just seeing school shooting, hate crime, all this shit. It's terrible. I did two weeks in London last year writing on a show, and it just feels so much lighter there. There's not that tension, and everybody's angry. It just felt just a little more laid back.
And it was weird, but it was great. You don't feel that tension as much, though, in person, I feel like. I feel like it's mostly on Twitter. Right, right. And news. And news. News is like pro wrestling now. It's like two sides. You got to pick a side. And there's no truth to, like, it just feels like the truth is just gone. And, like, now you can't, I just feel like if you're a liberal, you can't keep calling these people in middle America fucking stupid for believing what they believe and calling them fucking idiots.
dumb and they don't get it and they don't read enough because the government and the media is lying to everybody consistently and constantly so no one actually knows what to believe like they truly sat around for a long time and so does aliens don't exist and then one day kind of loosely they were like they probably do and we probably and we probably seen one and then just moved on with their fucking
Yeah. And it's like, okay, so people are right to mistrust. Of course. It's like a toxic relationship where they're gaslighting you and then you're just like, well, I guess you're the only person I can be with. Yeah. Honestly, weirdly, when it comes to certain things like the alien shit, like the lab shit, I believe Trump the most because I know that he's dumb and he probably is telling me shit he's not supposed to tell me. Oh.
Good point. Good point. Because he's stupid. You know what I'm saying? So I feel like other presidents knew how to keep all the white secrets. Yeah. And he's just like ignorant as fuck and he runs his mouth too much. Right. So he be saying shit like they probably told him a long time ago. Yo, we think this is some lab shit, but don't say nothing. And he was immediately like, it's lab shit. Yeah.
because that's how he is. Yeah. So if it's shit like that, I kind of lean toward like, this nigga probably right. The longer he's gone, the funnier I find him. China. From
From China. Also, isn't it weird that it's less racist that it came from a bat in a wet market? To me, that's way like, oh, these dirty Chinese people making a fucking soup with bats in it. Yeah, yeah. That is more wild than just like a contained thing happening in a scientific space. It's weird. That was the racist one. Right. It doesn't make sense. But we were all like, bat from Wuhan. Yeah. That makes sense. I know, right? Because everybody's fucking garbage. Yeah. I know. I know.
Bats do carry a lot of diseases, though. I think they made sense. They were like, well, they were disgusting animals. And you know what else fucks it up? I feel like, like, Instagram and TikTok be feeling that stuff because they always want to, like, I feel like all the, like, Asian media I get because I'm not Asian is, like, this, like, skewed American shit that we want to see. Mm.
Asian people do and it's always like look at them eating a live squid and pouring the sauce on it and it's like it's all racism I'm sure they do more than this yeah they invent a lot of shit whatever this is it's a lot of Asian arts yeah it's like look at them eating stuff we would never eat and it's like
I'm sure there's also other things. Yeah. There's all these like great cinema and art over there. And we're just like, we're like put on one of the game shows. I want to see them fall. That's what I'm saying. It's like, we're not even tapping into like the essence of their culture. Right. We're just like Ninja Warrior. Watch me. We're fucking dumb. While on TikTok, I got sent just videos of an Asian lady slamming her face into bread. Did you guys see that one? And I loved it. It was great. Yeah. That's the problem. I mean, we are getting dumber. Oh yeah. Yeah.
Well, they say the TikTok's going to go away. They've been saying that for a while, though. I mean, Trump was going to get rid of TikTok. Remember that? Oh, yeah, that's right. They got rid of it in Canada. You can't have it if you work for the government. You can't have it on your phone. Why? They feel like it's bad? No, it's run by the CCP, the Communist Chinese...
And it's their property. It's a data collection. Exactly. This might sound ignorant, but who isn't taking data right now? Everybody is. Everything you log on to. I mean, look at Facebook. Look what Facebook has done. It's not about taking data. It's about they don't want them taking data. They're trying to take data. Of course. That's all.
Of course. But I mean, it really is amazing that like every time, I mean, Apple caught shit for like going on. They say, ask app not to track. Apple caught shit for that. That's like pretty pro people, I would think. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Well, that shit's crazy. You ever talk about like dildos and you get a dildo ad. Oh my God. There's a new squirting dildo. I just learned. That's the world we're in.
That's crazy. They're fully in our lives, baby. I know. Facebook has a thing called the off, I think it's like the off security track or whatever it's called. But you have to go to your Facebook settings and turn it off. Whoa. So you basically have to be like, I don't want you to spy on me. It comes with them spying on you. Uber was tracking you five minutes after you got dropped off.
Uber? Uber was. They still tracking you walking around? Walking around. Why? Why was a good question. So they said we were doing it to know where to better drop you off next time. So like if we dropped you off here, you walk here. Interesting. But it still has five minutes? Yeah. But also that doesn't make any sense because who says I'm going back there next time? You don't know where I'm going, Uber. Exactly.
Yeah, I go to different places. That might not be my house. You gotta be like, how do you know where the fuck I'm going? You have patterns. You go to Madison Square Garden to the Knicks game. What entrance should we drop you off at? Mark goes to Mexican blowjob shops. Yo, you wanna know what's crazy? That's fucking true. Because now, damn, I didn't think about that. Now, whenever I type in Madison Square Garden, it automatically pops up 4Pin. Because that's the entrance I always go to. Oh, shit. There it goes. I didn't even think about that. It happened to me the other day and I thought it was weird. I was like, damn, it went right to 4Pin.
There you go. You're a big Hoops fan. Yeah. You love basketball. How'd you get into basketball? Who was your first team? Was it that 90s Celtics team? No, I wasn't at Celtics. I was too young. Like, the Celtics were too bad to be fans of them when I was young. So you had, like, the Dino Roger years? I have, one of my younger basketball years, it was squads. Because my city sucked.
Boston was losing at everything for a long time. - Really? - Like every sport. They were bad at hockey, they were bad at baseball, they were bad at football, they were bad at basketball. So it was really hard being a Boston sports fan, especially like in the 90s and shit. So I would just pick like squads. Like every basketball season I had a new group that I liked how they were playing. So at one point it was like the Bibby Kings. - Yeah, they were sick. - Webb, Bibby, all them. Then there was the Allen Houston,
- The Knicks baby. - Fucking yeah. - Sprewell. - Starks, Knicks. I liked them for a little while. You know what I mean? I was just kinda, then I was a Kobe fan. I was a huge Kobe fan. So then it was like the Lakers.
for a while. But even with the Lakers, because I wasn't from LA like that, I would still be like, I like Lakers and I like whatever, whatever, whatever team or whatever, whatever, whatever team like that. You can't be a boss in person rooting for LA. Exactly. So I had to kind of pick other shit to also be into. What a great fluid way to be. This is how sports fandom should be. They should draft you. They should go for your, be like, we spent this much. You should follow us this year. Fuck your hometown. Sorry, fuck your hometown. Fuck your hometown. What is that little fair weather? No.
Who cares? It's like, build the best team. I'll follow you. I mean, I had to be at the time, like really, like Boston had nothing going on. It was like,
I didn't want to be miserable, dog. It was like to be a Boston sportsman at that time, it was like I wasn't the one to watch anything. And it was some exciting teams and exciting players. Oh, yeah. And I started to just like what I liked. Like, I love Peja. You know what I mean? I started picking players. Like, I love how this motherfucker play. I love how this motherfucker play. I like how this motherfucker plays. And that's how I kind of like got way into basketball. And then like the Pierce, you know. KG. That era, then I was like a Boston fan.
And then I stayed like a Celtics fan. But the way I watched basketball, if the Celtics started losing bad for the next three years, I would follow another team. Now, I'll be honest,
I never bought another team's jerseys. I never bought, like, I couldn't bring myself, I was too much of a Bostonian to like put on a Kobe joint and just stand in that joint. Like if my team sucked. Now Boston was also competing. Fine, I wear a Kobe joint and a brown joint and whatever. We got competitors. But when we were like bad, it just felt wild. Like cheating. Yeah, it felt wild, disloyal to do some shit like that. So I never did no shit like that. You know what I'm saying? I just didn't buy nothing.
I was just like, I just don't wear jerseys. You know what I mean? My first jersey was a Celtics jersey. Yeah, there you go. You know what I'm saying? Like my first football jersey was a Tom Brady jersey. You know, I just didn't participate in sports in that way until I felt proud of my own city and the shit that we were doing. That's why I didn't wear FUBU.
Felt like cheating. Yeah. I like that about you, Mark. You stay true to your white man. Yeah. Some people, man, I like that about you, but I respect it. Thank you. Some white men got to go down with the shit. Everybody just can't jump off. That ain't me. No, I'm staying on the Amistad. Oh, my God. You fucking nut.
This is crazy. They're going to run this shit back in like 10 years and it's going to be like that clip they show Chris Rock. I know. Doing CK and saying nigger a bunch and Chris is just like, eh. Like, what?
That was a real heat check from Louis. That's what they're going to do. That was Louis being like, I can do no wrong. Let me drop the N-word in front of Chris Rock. I didn't say I'm punch Mark in his fucking face. I'm serious about the FUBU, though. I didn't want to wear it because it was literally for us, by us. So I'm not wearing that. No, I'm saying that's rude. White boys who did it were annoying. Yes. I like that you just stay loyal to your white shit. Of course. And you do it to this day. You're just a white guy. I'm a white guy. Here, here.
I mean, there's a lot of white guys here. You don't try. Nothing else. I love that. That'd be annoying if you did. I agree. No, I don't like it. And I like Mark. Mark will say some offensive white guy shit, and he don't even know why. Yeah, well, I'm trying to be on a joke. There's been plenty of times Mark comes to the cellar like, what are they about? And I'm like, you're just so white in the guy.
What up? I don't know. It's a good equalizer saying fucked up shit. You know, because if I don't say it around you, I feel like that's weird. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I appreciate the honesty. You can only be Mark. The way you say Manny being Manny, it's Mark being Mark. That's who he is. Who's Manny? Manny Ramirez. Ah, Ramirez. When are you going to tape another special? June. Oh, damn. That was quick. What are you taping? June 17th. What?
Yeah. You just did one. What, six months? No, the Netflix. Yeah, it was a while back. Was it three years? That's why I asked when you were doing one. Well, she had like 10 TV shows and movies. I felt like that was... She's doing other shit. Like a year at the most. Damn. Like three years ago, bro. All right. Where are you going to tape it? Brooklyn Steel. Oh, okay. Ooh, good one. I don't think I've been there. I think Che did one there. Oh, shit. Is that the one in like Williamsburg? The warehouse-y kind of...
Yeah, but that's why I thought Che did it too, but it wasn't at Brooklyn Steel. He said it was somewhere else, but I thought that's where it was. I think I have been there, actually. That's why I thought it was too, but he said no. Oh, okay. I think they built something. I was like, how he shot in there, what it was like, but he said no. But I think Ricky's last one was there. Oh, gotcha. The HBO one. Yeah, I like the space because you can kind of make it what you want. Right, right. It's very like, and I wanted to do New York. I looked at that one. Yeah, it's like near the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted to do New York. I was like, oh, it's time to do one where I live in Chicago.
What was the last one? Atlanta. That's right. Okay. Atlanta's a good comedy city too. Great town. But yeah, that's exciting. So you've been touring with this one a lot? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. I've been touring for like down there six, seven months. Wow. Yeah. So I'm trying to get 50 more shows in before tape.
Oh, I saw you at the Cellar like a few weeks ago and it was fucking hilarious. Oh, thank you. It was really fun. I'm trying, man. Yeah. Can I ask you about the rock special? You were there? Yeah. What was it like being there? Crazy. Yeah? Just the energy was crazy. Seeing someone do it live and like, that's a big deal. You know, like... Yeah. That's not easy to do. Mm-hmm. Um...
to just go for it live at five because the truth is you can't predict the energy you can't yeah you can't predict energy you can't predict how the room's gonna be and that's why we like to take two right that's what you do yeah i taped seven last time for real yeah that's what i'm saying
Typically you at least- - That's not normal, but you do at least two. - At least two. I feel like a network, unless they love you, they'll give you a budget for two. - Right, right. - You know what I'm saying? If you shooting for HBO, you shooting for whatever, unless you like rock and you like, I'm shooting a week of fucking shows and then we gonna figure this out, they let you do two. But like at the minimum, you're doing two.
And of those two, you're picking the best. Right. Yeah. What work, how it work. Cause the energy is so unpredictable. You don't just, you just don't know what group of people you're going to be getting. And laughter is so infectious and it, and the crowd dictates so much of how it works. The community just show up with the jokes. You got to show up with the jokes, but if they're in a mood and they make a decision and off that first one, they like, no,
And then you perform worse. Whoa. That could set this whole world. So to go like, fuck it, I'm going to grab my nuts and go live. Yeah. And just take it as it comes. Well, there's like a weird pressure on the audience too to bring it. You know, it's pretty stressful. But I feel like Baltimore, you get what you get. I don't feel like Baltimore is like, we're going to be nicer because it's a special.
Yeah, and I mean, that was intentional. Like, Chris purposely was like, I want to do it for that reason. Like, I want to come to Baltimore and, like, grab my dick and see what it does. So she just watched that energy and she was fired. Was there an opener in that room? Because I saw that was on TV. No. That was it? He went in cold like that? Yeah, no. Doesn't he normally as Rick go out, right? All that TV shit was happening in LA. Did they broadcast that in the room? No. Wow, he just walked out on stage? Wow.
Yeah. But those boots? I didn't notice the boots. That was a risk. Yeah, no. He pulled it off, but yeah. We all watched it, and it was fun. Yeah. Yeah, no, he just walked out. I watched him run it a couple, I didn't actually see the special yet, but I watched him run it a couple times, and yeah, I loved the material. I thought it was great. Yeah, he just walked out. Only one. Damn. Only act that night. That's crazy. I saw some video, I'm a huge rock guy, like Bring the Pain and Bigger Blacker to be a top
Top ten. Oh, my God. I think Roll With The New got me into stand-up. Oh, wow. I remember hearing that album and just... I probably got half the jokes. I was so young, but I remember... Fresh off kissing that boy. Yeah. Right? I was...
I remember listening to it. My mom was like, what are you listening to? And grabbed it, and I watched her put the headset on, and I watched this look of horror on her face, followed by 30 seconds later, her laughing. I was like, oh, that's fucking beautiful. That a joke can do that. He can kind of push you away with the premise and then bring you right back. That's Rock's gift. He can say something really polarizing and then just immediately unite. It's a beautiful thing.
But yeah, I mean, rock is one of the great comics ever. I mean, it's insane. But what I was going to say is I saw a video and it was this lady, black lady saying that he's not, he doesn't play to black audiences. Like he's trying to perform for white people. And I'm like, are you kidding? He's like doing it in Baltimore. I don't know. It's such a crazy accusation. When did you see this? Like a week ago. So this is the crazy thing. I feel is like,
People's memory is so fucking selective and it's gross in my opinion because it's like to say that is incredibly ignorant. You know what I'm saying? Was it Bigger and Blacker or Bigger and Blacker was that the Apollo? Right. You know what I mean? It's like you just don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Totally. CB4 is for white audiences.
You just don't know what the fuck you're talking about. No Sex and the Champagne Room was for white audiences. He was literally being a black voice and the only black voice in comedy like that for a minute. Good hair was for us. On that level, for a minute. You're talking about the Chris Rock show was for white people?
You sound nuts. And the problem I have, especially when black people do that, is that they equate success to whiteness. So because he is successful in this thing and he's not in some dark corner doing comedy only in fucking Mississippi. And now all of a sudden he's doing it for white people. And it's like, shut the fuck up.
fuck up you have no idea what you're talking about it's totally disrespectful to the man's legacy his history the amount of shit he has done for black people the amount of spaces that he has been in and represented for black people in those spaces just because you went to some show and now that he's fucking a mega star there happened to be a lot of white people there yes shut up bitch i agree that's stupid true
Yeah, white people like him because he's funny. That's it. I think he's, yeah, he's, and when I see someone like Megyn Kelly post how funny this special is, and then people are like, this is part of the problem. All you can do is put out the jokes. Whoever's going to like it is going to like it. Oh my God, there's been times where I've done jokes and the fucking most whitest, whitest Republican man has come up to me and been like, I fucking love that fucking shit about da-da-da-da-da. And I'm like, I guess, bro. I don't know. I just said what I said.
If it's good, it's good. I wasn't saying it to you, you know? Right, right. And by the way, the job is to kill. The job is to have a good set. So, yeah, I mean, if you're making people, it's a good thing to bring people together. And also, it's a lot of other shit, too. Like, it's like...
he doesn't have to do all the work of blackness. He's doing his corner of his thing. There's also motherfuckers writing books. There's motherfuckers making movies. There's motherfuckers painting pictures. So like, if you're not getting the thing from Chris, there's other motherfuckers doing comedy. Like, just go search for it somewhere else. He doesn't have to hold up the whole
job that's so so well said i mean it's like it how unfair is it that that would be his duty to i know he's an entertainer i've always said once people start putting this weight on comic shoulders as being more than just a comedian it's kind of dangerous for comedy i agree you're once you have this duty as level important as a citizen you know to be this even to be like an artist it's kind of like people can kind of like suck my dick because it's like yeah also you
You're not doing any of this in your day to day. It's like, yo, you're walking around the world. You're interacting with people all the time. You're having these encounters in the world. Are you doing this shit? Are you doing this work that you're just throwing on all these other people to do? Because what? Because they're on television? I think often these people are not. You're right. They're not going out into the world. And when we tour with material, we're at least seeing you're honing a set based on
every state in the country liking it you really are you really are you really are making it work after your show you're sitting at the bar if you've offended someone like we're not we're not rappers you get what i'm saying like we don't we especially at this level when we're when we're at this level of comedy you know not a dave level or chris level it's like bro it's not like i'm getting rushed off the stage under a fucking jacket and no one's allowed to talk to me
I go to the bar and if I made someone mad, they walk up to me and they go, you made me fucking mad. And I have a conversation with them. What were you actually fucking mad about? Well, I was mad about this and I was mad about that. Well, this is why I said this and this is why I said that. And I take that and continue it into my act.
and I go out and I keep building and I'm having these conversations with people in fucking Utah and I'm having these conversations with people in fucking LA and I'm having these conversations with people in Wyoming and I'm having these conversations with people in fucking Atlanta. So when I finally stand in front of you with a fucking special and I say, hey, I think this might be the temperature, nigga, I did a job. Exactly. I'm not just fucking talking. And also maybe- And you happen to be just fucking talking. You haven't talked to anybody but your fucking friends. So maybe you don't know what the fuck
- Right, maybe you're in the echo chamber and I'm not. The humility it takes to hone an hour, I mean, you have to suffer a little bit, not really suffer, but bomb a little bit. - And sometimes you have to be wrong. There's been times where I've done shit and then someone will come up to me after a show with their real life experience and I'm like, "Goddamn, I gotta reanalyze what the fuck I'm saying."
It is. Help me before. I did not consider that. I did not consider that life experience. I did not consider that when I was talking about this. And now I do need to because now I've heard it. It's my responsibility to now incorporate this or at least consider this as I continue to say these words and put this shit out into the world. So it's like, no, you who just goes to work and talks to your four friends and comes home and that's all you're doing and you're not actually outspoken.
out here seeing and feeling, and I'm not knocking that, but you don't get to come and tell me what the fuck I should be saying. - Yes. - That's not how we're doing this. - If they come at you in a noncombative way, I have listened and it has been a positive experience for me. I remember I had a joke in like 2014. - Don't say noncombative,
I'm saying like these motherfuckers would just get on the internet and be like... Ah, it drives me crazy. The fact that they assume the intent is malicious is... Nobody wants to hurt anybody. Right. We're trying to get a laugh. Most people don't. But I mean, you know, I remember a woman came up to me after a show in like 2014 and said, I had a joke where I said the word tranny in it. And she goes, just so you know, I have a trans kid. It's a slur. It's like a shitty word for us. And I said, I didn't know that. I'm glad you told me. The joke works. She said to me, the joke works without you saying that. So...
I said, that's a good point. All right, it's gone. - And that's real. - That's what we all do that. This is the nice way to do it. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And that's real. But that's what I'm saying, 'cause you're going out and you're doing this shit and you're being tried and true and you're standing in front of real people and doing this. So it's like, you're getting that real feedback. I feel like sometimes people see it, especially it's like, you think that's the first time I said any of this shit? - I know, right.
I think some people might think that. I've been saying this shit for a year. I've been touring this shit for a year. I've been tweaking it. I've been tweaking this for a year. I didn't just write this in the bathroom this morning. I think some people think that we do, though. It's so frustrating. But also, just because you perceived it a certain way doesn't mean that's how I meant it.
Just because it went in your head a certain way doesn't mean I was going for that. Maybe I just wasn't fucking talking to you. Just because you didn't get it doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to exist. Yes. Just because you didn't like it doesn't mean it shouldn't be around. Maybe I wasn't fucking talking to you in the first place. Maybe this isn't the conversation for you. There's a lot of other shit to go see. Yeah. There's a lot of other shit to go watch. Find the conversation that is for you. Yes. But stop trying to eliminate conversations from the fucking world because you don't like them.
It's weird. I agree. That's crazy. It's so fucking weird. What if we did that with everything? Hey, this hot sauce burned my tongue. All hot sauce has to go. That's insane behavior. It's like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm not... Any of this shit. Like, there's white dude comics. I'm like, I don't give a shit about whatever this guy's saying. But, like, there's some white guy somewhere who does, and he's listening, and he... Yeah. To this podcast. He also deserves to be, like, affirmed. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's a human being. He also deserves...
he's a person and like, it just isn't for me. So I'll go do the things that are for me and you should go do the things that are for you. And that's the great thing about being in America and having fucking options, you know? Yes. And having freedoms. And, and, and it's interesting, like sometimes watching a comic struggle through this is way more entertaining than watching them kill. Like I've seen you kill. I've also seen those sets of yours where you're kind of working it out and it's not quite clicking. And,
Those as a comic are sometimes more entertaining for me. For real. I like watching a comic... Battled out. A good comic. I don't like watching a bad comic bomb. I like watching a good comic bomb sometimes because they have to adapt. Right, right. And it's interesting to me. Sure. And you're gonna bomb. Like, you're out here doing the shit. You're gonna bomb. And that's also another thing is, like, sometimes I'll, like...
It's like, maybe you just caught me on a bad night, baby girl. I'm a person. Yeah, exactly. I'm a person out here just talking out of my mouth. I don't have a filter. I don't have an edit happening in between this. It's just me and you and thoughts.
So sometimes things may get convoluted, misconstrued, misunderstood, because that's how fucking conversations work. Yes, exactly. And I think in this world now, everything's so curated. You order Grubhub, gluten-free, none of this, none of that. But comedy, they show up at a show and they're just like, whoa, I didn't sign up for this shit. And I'm like, well, you kind of did because this is a comedy show. No, you signed up for a
For a live performance experience. And that means you don't know what the fuck you're going to get. Yes, exactly. But isn't it great that comedy elicits this type of response? Because I think that means we're taken seriously as a form of entertainment now. We lost him. He had to go pick up his kid. But don't you think that's like...
Think about how mad people would get at Spike Lee or Tarantino. And now I think comedy gets that type of attention. I think it's kind of good. Yeah, but I do miss those old niche days when we were in a basement. I think it's good and it's bad, though, because it's getting that kind of attention. But because it's getting that kind of attention, this is the problem.
Tarantino, all this shit, it's getting that kind of attention from people that have been enough familiarity with movies to get the medium. I feel like it's all these motherfuckers just coming to comedy that don't even get
the art form at all. Oh, of course. And then they're just like, it should be this. Yes, exactly. Bitch, do you even get what it is we do? But movies have been around longer than stand-up has. No, that's what I'm trying to say. There's a consciousness of what it is that's just embedded in the American brain. Right, right. I want Brian Regan. People don't get
the job that we do. They don't get the process that it is. There's people that do, but I don't think the average person who only watches specials... You know how many people have never been to a live stand-up show? Do you know what I mean? A lot that just only watch specials and go like...
I know what this should be. Yeah, yeah. But the frustration also comes with it. Like, we're turning over material. That's the frustration. So you have to bomb, and that's frustrating. And the comics who are just going up and killing all the time, who these people might have no problem with, are comics that they might actually hate because that's a comic that's not writing new jokes. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm trying to say. They don't understand what it is. Exactly, yeah. Like, this...
This woman went under when I was promoting the movie and she goes in my comments and she's like, "I don't know how this bum got a movie. I was just at the cellar and this asshat sat around and did a whole set about Jeffrey Dahmer and it was shit. And she was looking at her phone the whole fucking time. How the fuck did she get a thing?"
You're not wrong, lady. That's what happened that night. It was a Tuesday. I was trying out a dollar bit. You're working out. That was the night. But for her, it's Tuesday and I went out to, I'm supposed to. They don't understand. They had a big night out. But they're getting smarter. You know what I'm saying? So she's just like,
Who would fuck me? Yes. You know, I'm shit. Exactly. But I think the crowd is, the audience has become much more sophisticated. I'm sure you deal with this on the road too, but like we talk about this so much on the podcast, like new bits and all that shit that I will like take a notepad out on stage sometimes and people will like applaud. Like they want to be a part of it now. Yeah. I think comedy crowds have gotten more hip. Yeah. No, I definitely think that, but I'm, but not every crowd, obviously. Yeah. I think like a lot, the,
average, that's a comedy crowd, right? I think the average person is like, I come in, you off the top of your head,
bust my gut and if you don't you don't deserve to have this job that's a comedy seller that's a comedy seller where you might be following someone who is playing the hit so if you don't come up and just murder that's why the seller can be hard to work out at sometimes sure because you're following some fucking murderer yeah who's just doing 15 that's gonna crush and then you're like
let me see what, and they're just like, what? But they don't understand that it's a choice. They think it's just you failing. Right, right, yes. They're like, no, you suck. You suck. No, no, this will be great. And you're like, no, baby, I could have hit you with the hits tonight. Yeah. I just didn't want to, darling, because this is where I work.
at right i work out at i gotta i gotta get good yeah exactly that's how i get good you know what i'm saying but they don't and that and it's and it's weird because then they watch stuff like chris that way and they watch you know what i'm saying what is what's the first thing chris says when he pops into the cellar lower your expectations yeah they watch this stuff without the context of what it is that we're actually doing and then they judge it on this scale of like
Eddie Murphy Raw. And you're like, baby girl. It's Tuesday. It's Tuesday. You thought you were going to get raw here? You spent 15 bucks to get here. Yeah, exactly. And I know we've said it a million. What? I was told the same as to go. Oh, at five. Oh, shit. We don't want to hold you. I don't have a Zoom call anymore.
All that shit got moved. Oh, great. Yeah, yeah. Now, y'all, I have nothing to do. Well, it's been said a million times. It's called a comedy club, but you wouldn't just have a music club because you could have reggae, country, rap, rock, and you don't know what you're getting. But, like, comedy club, it's you, then it's, you know, Caitlin Palufo, then it's you, then it's Sherrod Small. It's all over the place. And so... But that's what I'm saying. They also don't know, like...
The difference between you coming to a club on a Tuesday or you're going to a Sam J show. That's two different things, right? If you come to a Sam J show and for an hour I'm in my phone doing weird shit about Dahmer and you pay 30 bucks, yell at me because I'm being bad.
If you come to the cellar on a Tuesday, a lot of I might not have even been on. Yeah. I might have just showed up and be like, yo, can I try some Dahmer shit out? And they were like, yeah, you can. This is a different situation. You hear all these stories, though, about like these rockies behind the music videos, these rock stars have to be like carried on stage on heroin. Oh, yeah. And then I'm like, I had one bad.
where I was one of like seven comics. Right. But every other art firm, they understand that, right? Like if they go like back in the day when fucking you had punk at its height and they're like, we're about to go on a Tuesday to see, they knew they were just going to see these niggas jam. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? They're like, that's dope. We gonna go see these motherfuckers jam. Or you know, when you're just watching, that's why players shoot around. And you're like, I'm not expecting them to give me game. Right, right. Every time
we on stage they want the game yes they want the game but the but the thing about the game you are bad at comedy but a musical a musical but the musical bomb is is a harder uh bomb to notice than a stand-up bomb like if we're not connecting you fucking feel it if you see a musician bomb you're like it's not it's uncomfortable but it's not like horrible yeah yeah he's still playing music
It's weird that you're watching a musician and you're like, I hate this person. But that will happen to us. They decide, like, I don't like you. Not as a comic, but as a human. I don't like this human. They think they know you. These are jokes. I don't like you. I just said the worst thing to get a laugh. I don't believe that thing. People have been like, you need to be nicer to your girlfriend. And I'm like...
What? Hilarious. What? Yeah. I proposed to her. Like Dave Attell one time was like, what do you do? And the guy goes, I work at Nickelodeon. He goes, no wonder I'm hard.
And obviously he's not attracted to children, but it's funny to say that because that's the wrong thing to be. And that's comedy. And they'll get it. It tells another one who when he gets a bad crowd is one of the funniest dudes to watch. He's slamming the stand down. Yeah, he's just getting cranky. Oppositional. They make you oppositional. And it's like you don't want to be, but when they're bad, you're like, all right. Yeah. Fuck y'all, man. Exactly, exactly. Now I'm going harder. What?
I'm leaning in. What was the vibe at the after party for Rock? Was it fun? Yeah, but it's like them niggas have been there and done it. Right. So they don't have the energy of newness. It's just like, we're going to have a couple of drinks and go home. That's kind of better at this point. Yeah, yeah. That's what I heard Chris say. If there's no food, I'm leaving. You know, like that energy of like, I got
Yeah.
Yeah. Because, you know, the after party is kind of another performance. And then everybody goes, that was great. You killed it. And you got to go, yeah, thank you. Yeah. And it's more work. It's another job. Yeah. It's another job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm doing a special in two weeks and they're like, where's the after party? And I'm like, don't do it. Chicago. Oh, yeah. The Vic.
But... Where are you putting it out? Netflix. Hell yeah. Are you doing Netflix again? That's exciting. No. No? That's exciting. Do you know where you're doing it yet? Is this live? No. Oh, HBO. Oh, cut that. It's going on lifetime. Oxygen. Tyler Perry bought a BET.
Or he's buying BET. That's what I mean. He already owned it. Every show on BET is a Tyler Perry show. He's got like 20 shows on that fucking channel. Oh, jeez. I'm so happy. I got Cable again for the first time in forever, and I'm so happy I got it. Cable's the shit. I never let it go. I don't know why anyone would let it go. It's necessary. Yeah, I was just flipping around the other day. I was like, yeah, fuck it. I watched the last half of Cape Fear. It's fucking great to have that option. No, you're flipping...
I love flipping. It's my favorite part. It is essential. It's like radio. I have every streamer, but I've always kept cable because sometimes I just like to lay it out, lay in on some shit, and I'll be like, damn, it has been a minute since I watched House Party. Right. You stumbled. They're remaking it. It looks pretty bad. Oh, is it good? I don't talk that about black art, so it's a mess.
Do we still have her? Are we still picking her up? All black art is good art. Put the captions in. There's no bad black art, bro. I don't know. Did you see Pootie Tang? That shit's fire. I'm joking. No, Pootie Tang's funny. I think Louie wrote that, actually. I love Pootie Tang. That's fun. Pootie Tang's a front. This is controversial.
Really? I think it's pretty funny. It's funny. Robert Vaughn. Yeah, it's funny. We're doing a lot of long bus stretches. We're doing the tour bus coming up a couple 11-day stretches. And I just have booklets of DVDs I'm bringing. And you're like, okay, what's a good movie, but what's a good bus movie? And I've got the dumb shit. I've got Road Trip on there. I've got Don't Be a Menace on there. What are your black
movies. Oh, geez. What do I have? White Men Can't Jump's number one. That's a black movie? Oh, yeah. He's so white. How is that not black? The title is White Men Can't Jump. There's an insult in the title.
Great movie. Boys in the Hood. Try to think what black movies I have in there. I mean, I do have a good mix of movies. I even have some foreign shit in there, but those aren't good bus movies. I have to move them out. I don't know off the top of my head what's in there. Friday? I actually do have Friday in there. Friday's great. I fucking love Friday. Oh, yeah. Chris Tucker steals it. I saw Friday in the movie theater. Really? Wow. John Witherspoon was so good. In the black movie theater. Wow. Shit was lit. Dang.
Money Talks isn't a black movie, but I have that in there. We'll take it. Black people will take it. I love Chris Tucker. If Chris Tucker's in it, we own it. Besides Chris Element. Oh, yeah. That's very white. But he still killed it.
He's always good. Dude, Money Talks is a fucking hilarious movie. It's so good. It's so funny. It's so good. I wish that he and Sheen did a couple more together because they had like a good vibe. They had a good chemistry. It was a good vibe. I love that. I need more of that back. We don't got, everything's so motherfucking heavy now, man. I know. I'm like, just bring back the fucking. Because they won't give, they won't put out very few comedies. It's like, just put out the light shit, like everything. Like, did you see the new Pinocchio? No. Is it good? It's,
Sad? Sad. Sad, heavy. I couldn't finish it because I was like, who is this for? Yeah, right? First of all, they show the real kid, which is like, we never want to know who the real kid was. That's already too much. So Geppetto kicking it with the real son. There is a bombing, a literal bombing. The son dies in a bombing. Geppetto becomes an alcoholic. Jesus. This is a kid's movie. You know what?
Wow. It sounds kind of amazing though. No fuck. The art is dope. Isn't it Guillermo del Toro? Yeah, the stop animation. Yeah, he's amazing. The stop animation is dope, but watching it, I was just like,
Why does it have to be all this, bro? I'm convinced that's why Ted Lasso became so popular. It's just so light. The director also said, like, don't show this to your kids. Well, what the fuck? It's Pinocchio. But it's like, bro, this is great. Like, he's a whole alcoholic, like, getting drunk under a tree. Whoa. Like, ready to kill himself. It's like they insinuating, like, he's on the brink of suicide. Right, right. And then, like, the fairy come and the tree, and they're like, we're going to make you...
kid, but the kid's all scary looking, Pinocchio's all gangly and like, it's just crazy. You know what started that? Up. Remember Up? I was sad as fuck. Great movie, but in the beginning, I cried. I know. It was like a fucking montage of this guy's wife dying. It's just like, shit's bad heavy. It's heavy. Even House Party, and I think it's good, but it's like the start of the premise of him needing money for his daughter, and I'm just like-
Jesus. Why can't we just be throwing a party? Yeah. Yeah. Give me goof troop. Yeah. I get it. I heard Rush Hour 4 is opening with a rape. You see what I'm saying? We don't need that. No, it is. I do love when a movie can just be fun. I was telling Mark I watched Megan, that new movie. I heard it's good. It's fun. I watched that shit too. It's a fun movie. It's lit.
It's a fun, Ronnie Chang was killing me. Ronnie was great. Every time he popped on screen, he was killing me. And it's just like a fun movie. She's just killing people. I guess it is dark. The beginning's dark. But it's like silly comedy. Yeah, exactly. It's campy a little bit, you know? It's like, come on, dog. I was into it. And then once you start dancing and shit, you're like, this is just goofy. Yeah, you're right, though. It is harder to like,
It's all serial killer docs, true crime, all day long. I'm kind of over the serial killer. I'm done with it. I did watch the Murdoch one just because it was on the news. I watched it because it was kind of good. That's a hell of a story. Once it got to the point where the maid got pushed down a flight of stairs by dogs. They killed the maid, bro. Of course. That's not what dogs do. But you know what's shady? He also lied to the family like, I'm going to hook y'all up with the bread. And then he didn't give them no bread. I was like, at least give them the bread. You know you killed the maid.
Well, OJ commented on the jury. That was fun. He's become a legal course. I don't know if he killed his wife and his kid. He did. But I know that he killed enough people that he needed to go. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes, exactly. You didn't do this. You was a part of so much foul shit. Right. That something's up. Someone's going to catch up to you, bro. You just was laying too many foul bricks. Also, one of the...
One of the sons was clearly either gay or... Yeah, I mean, they killed this gay kid. Buster, yeah. That was fucking dark as hell. Buster. And they still ain't even talked about what they did to the gay kid. They kind of glossed over it. I'm like, this family's committed so many murders, they can't even get to the hate crime. The hate crime was the lightest part. They were like... Yeah, that's how they do us gays. So they're like, yeah, and it was a gay kid murder, but...
It was in the credits. We were like, what? Bro, what? Wait, what was the other? So him. Oh, and the woman on the boat, obviously. Yes. That was the major one.
Yeah. That was the start of the nefarity. Yeah. Yes. They are some Southern trash right there. Oh, yeah. I was like, this is turnt. It was kind of fun. It's good to have little insights into this white shit that you... Because as a black person, you're like, they be doing crazy shit. And then every once in a while, you get a little window. Oh, yeah. Oh, I knew it.
I knew it. White collar crime is crazy. I don't know why, but like the rich ones are easier for me to take. Like making a murder where they're just fucking with like poor people, it kind of, it really depresses me. Yeah, that one's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one, I'm like, yeah, they're rich piece of shit. They'll go down. I mean, they did kill a lot of people. Nah, the maid was the fucked up one. That was the fucked up one. Because the maid was just a casualty of addiction and needing bread. Right. You know what I mean? Like, it was just like, we need bread. Yeah.
I get high too much. Who can we take out? They were so powerful that they told the cops that dogs pushed a woman down a flight of stairs and the cops were like, that's good enough for me. They were so powerful they went to a crime scene and took out the major piece of evidence. They removed the boat. They took the boat out. It was like, what?
And then the boyfriend was like, can I see my girlfriend? They're like, we're not comfortable with that. Yeah. No, baby. And then even people in the interviews were like, we're kind of nervous talking about this. That's how scary they are. Still. Still. How did they time it to come out with the jury? Well, that was ill. That was amazing. I mean, that's probably how you do it. That's incredible. I also wonder, though, is that going to be something he uses to try to turn over his conviction? Oh, like cereal? Yeah.
No, in the sense of... Magic spoon. It's like jury tampering a little bit, right? Because it's like, can you guarantee that they didn't hear nothing about this documentary? Right. Can you guarantee that they didn't hear anything about this? Like, if I was a defense attorney, I'd be like, hey. I hate this guy. Can you guarantee that the jury didn't get any of this salaciousness? Well, that is amazing. You're right. I mean...
It came out at a time where it could have influenced the jury. That's insane. And this is a bunch of opinions and skewed opinions running right in line with this shit. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't think the jury was sequestered. I didn't see that. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think so. So I didn't hear anything about a sequestering. So then how do you, you know? Yeah. It's really, it came at the perfect time because I feel like there hadn't been a good murder crime, true crime doc in a while. I'd been pretty, they were,
they made so many and they were just bad. What I love about it too is the root of it is just a bunch of trash Southern boys that like to get drunk. Yeah. Like it's not, it's not even like high level shit. It's just like trash motherfuckers who drink too much and crash a boat. Yeah. Push a bitch downstairs. It's not funny.
You know what I mean? When you say push a bitch, it's kind of funny. Yeah, it's funny. But you know what I mean? It's like the crimes themselves are just like trash. They're poor white trash crimes from people with money. This thing is just strung out on an oxy. It's a weird combo. Yeah, he's just strung out on an oxy, making rash decisions. And the other kid's in some Ivy League school plagiarizing. You're like, you're just shitty people. Y'all just shit. Yeah. Yeah, it was a...
But there hadn't been a good one in a while. I tried to watch the Hulu sex cult one and it was like... I watched that one, the cum cult, the domestic...
anytime I watch it like that, I just get annoyed with white people. It's just like, y'all just be participating. Just stop. The cult thing is crazy. There don't even be real shit going on. They just be like, and she got in my head and she told me I had to and so then I did it. And it's like, nigga, just go home. I know. I never got that. Just go. Just say no. Yeah. Go to your house. You're a little annoyed they fell for it. I'm annoyed
I'm annoyed that they be acting trapped in things that are like, that are just, it's not even crazy. Like, even when I watched the Scientology one, and the dude was like, then he pushed me. And I was like, sock that nigga. I know. What are we doing? I don't get that either. It kept acting like this guy was like this high-level con, and then I'd hear everything he'd say, and I'd be like, that's not that impressive. Yeah, it's a guy named Greg or something, you know, in a bathrobe. Oh, I thought you said
I thought you were talking about the lady one. Oh, no. There's a new one. There's a new one. Too many sex cults to keep track of. In Marty Netflix, where it was like a woman and her whole thing was like power to orgasm and making motherfuckers nut and the power of nutting and stuff. But then when you got into it, she was like,
on some crazy shit and would watch people get like, uh, like self masturbation and other people touching other people's clits and be like, you gotta fuck this person because you're, you're clouded right now. And then the people would just go fuck someone they didn't want to fuck because she said they were clouded and now they're all abused. And it's like, everyone could have went to their house. Ha ha ha ha.
I know. I don't get it either. Everyone could have left. She wasn't locking no doors on nobody. Nobody was stuck there. Yeah. They were all in San Francisco up the street. It just shows that people need a group. Yes. People need somewhere to go. I mean, look at COVID. Everybody went nuts because no one had anywhere to go or hang out. I wonder why shit like this happens. It doesn't...
get introspective ever. People never go, what was wrong with me? I know. They just go, he's bad. What was wrong with me then that I was looking for that, that I needed that, that I allowed that into my life and my spirit, that I allowed myself, what was happening with me? Because that's the first question I ask for all my shit. Yep.
all my shit good or bad i'm like what was what was going on with you yeah yeah that you let this go this way people don't do that they just go like she crazy and bad but also something's wrong with you that you let a lady tell you had to fuck a stranger and you did it exactly how about internalizing a little what was up with you at that point in your life and have you fixed that yes you haven't you're gonna meet another person
Exactly. And they're going to lead you to do some other shit. If I was a cult leader, I'd watch these. Maybe fix your shit. Maybe fix your shit. Yeah. Yeah, you're a cult leader. You're like, round two, we can get him. If I was a cult leader, I'd just watch other cult movies and be like, oh, we'll get her, we'll get her, we'll get her. You're going to recruit him. Yeah. Based on... One more ride. That's evil. That's evil, Mark. I'm not saying, I'm just saying, if I was a cult leader...
I don't want to be in a cult. It's too much work. Mark, you are not a good dude. In your first life. Whatever your former life was. I was a janitor. You're like living wild. That's funny as fuck because it's true. You know where the victims are. It's so weird to me because I'm like all that shit is just someone playing on your weaknesses. Yes, insecurities. It's someone's
acknowledging, recognizing, and just pulling those things out and twisting them around. And it's like, you gotta fix that shit. You have to fix that shit. I know. Because it would make you vulnerable all the time. And if you never go, then, you know, I'm not saying don't get these people, but there's a bigger conversation. Right, right. There's a bigger conversation why motherfuckers be so...
ready to go to this type of shit. Right. Yeah, there's agreeable and then there's maybe you should fix that. Yeah. Yeah, Ken, don't want to tell me I got to fuck another person.
to clear myself of whatever the fuck. And I'm just like doing it and I don't want to. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - And they get to wear a robe while this all happens? - I don't want to. - It doesn't seem fair. - No. - And then I go back and report to them after I fucked a person and I'm like, "I fucked them. Am I better?" And they're like, "Yes." What the fuck game is this? - Are there cultured? - I know how to be a hoe by myself. If you need a hoe, just go out and hoe. Just say you in a hoey phase. - Right. - Why you need a group to hoe? - We don't need a hoe leader.
You don't need a group to hoe. You can hoe on your own. You can hoe on your own. But I think a lot of people are followers. They need a group. That's the thing. And that's the shit. It's like, it's important. Like when I was a kid, that was the biggest thing my mother drove into me was not to be a follower. Yeah. And when I was following, it was like, I got in trouble for that type of shit.
for not having my own mind. Like, why did you do that? And if I was like, because such and so, that was more punishment. If I was like, because I, there's a different conversation. But if I was literally like, because my friend, that was like, you were in trouble trouble. Right. Because now you're not thinking for your fucking self. You're a follower. You let other motherfuckers think for you. So now we have a real problem. Yes. So now we have a real conversation to be had. And I don't think people get that. It's like, that's important. The idea of your independent self
brain yeah but people are scared they want that acceptance so bad that's what hashtags are it's like oh we're doing this now all right i'm all in on this like well i've never heard you bring that up once in your life well now i'm all in oh i hate that shit i know it's crazy i hate that shit because it's like also you can't care about all these things how much do you care for real when you hashtagging 30 things right thing oh i think about like cecil cecil the lion
No one gave a fuck about that lion. Exactly. A day before that happened. Can't care about all this shit, bro. No. It's too much shit to care about. And you can't really care if you just like hashtag lion, hashtag diabetes, hashtag. Stop Asian hate. And then you find out that person's like a deadbeat dad on top of it. Right, right. And then they feel better. They go, hey, look at me. I'm hashtagging all day long. I'm a hero. You've been on the beanbag chair. You ain't been doing shit. Yeah. You didn't do anything.
Are Asians good now? Does that just end? I don't get how that works. Yeah, in a sense of our Asian good is now do they not have their issue? Exactly. Because the shit they're going through in the world, the discrimination they're going through in the world...
The negativity they're going through, is it now over because you hashtagged? Exactly. I hate that shit. I hated the black square shit. I didn't do none of that shit. It's also kind of fucked up to do it for just like a month. Yes. Because then it's almost like you're just forgetting about it. Yeah. I hated that shit. And it gives you a false sense of... I feel like I got forced into one of them. It was like one of them where it was like...
y'all niggas is making me do this because it's black and if I don't do this, ugh. And I hated how I felt. I can't remember what it was, but I hated how I felt and I like took it down pretty quickly because I was like, this feels fucking gross. And you get resentful. You're like, fuck, I gotta do this. Now you're mad at the group. This feels fucking gross. Like, what do,
What is this? Yeah, yeah. What is this fucking weird ass nobody cares but everyone's pretending to care but everyone's a piece of shit thing that we're trying to fucking sell right now? I know. And who are you selling it to? Exactly. Who are these overlords we're trying to please? Who are you selling it to? Because everybody's bad. Right. We're all twisted. Everybody's fucked up. Up the chain and down the chain. Ain't nobody living fully right. You got that right. I'm trying to start a cult. Marshawn started a cult. I got a robe.
in a basement well Sam so you're taping it on April 17th no June 17th oh we got some time June 17th we're at Brooklyn Steel any other road dates you want to plug nah man I'm outside catch me outside I love that girl I'm outside boy you know I'm outside alright you can see her at the cellar a lot yeah I'm at the cellar uh
Yeah, we're all over it. I be around white boys when I'm doing white boy stuff, and I be around a lot of black people when I'm doing black people stuff. I love that. And you can just catch me doing stuff. You know what I'm saying? There you go. San Diego, LA, Sac. That's where you going? That's where you going? You're plugging your own dates on your own show? Am I not allowed to do that? Fucking gay. I'm a big homo.
All over. More days at samro.com slash shows. I'm coming all over. Same. Get a bottle of Bodega Cat. Bodega Cat whiskey. What's Bodega Cat? That's our whiskey we sell. You got a whiskey together? Oh, yeah. Is it your whiskey or just you're peddling another man's whiskey? That's our whiskey. Why have I never heard about this? It'll be at the cellar soon. We'll be drinking it together. Why not ever have this? We'll get you a bottle. I hate y'all.
Well, there you go. You heard it here first, folks. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming, Sam. You're welcome. I'm going to get yelled at for this. Why? People yell at me all the time. Why are they going to yell at you for this? I'm talking to two white men and I'm not yelling at y'all.
- Well you can get one in before you go. - Hey y'all stop being bad and stop being white and stop being men and do what you need to do to uplift the black community and the gay community. - What are you pointing at me? She's yelling at you too. - I'm trying to get it on you. Oh shit, all right. - You're part of the problem too though, it's both of us. - Hey I donated to the trans woman. - And I don't agree with nothing y'all said 'cause y'all white. - There you go. - So you're wrong. And I just want that on the record.
You heard it here. Thank you. Thanks for coming, Sam. All right. Got some black points. All right. Sunday's a woman's talk in danger. Off to lunch here in New.
