[Patreon Preview] Ep 65.5: Spiderman
02:22 Share

All right. What do you got? Vic A. Rate my joke, guys. I have the headaches of an NBA player, but not the skills. I have kids, a baby, a baby mama, and backed up child support. But when it comes to tax time, I feel like an NFL quarterback. Every year I get intercepted. Hey, all right. Premise is strong. Yeah, I like the first part. Yeah. About how you have all the problems of an NBA player, but you don't have... The skills or the money. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's kind of like, well, those are the important parts. You know what I mean? It's like, hmm. I had a bit of my opener on my out-to-lunch special is I think I'm autistic with just the bad parts. I got none of the smarts, and I can't count the toothpicks on the floor, but I'm a, you know, whatever. I'll give you a lousy hug. I'll give you a bad hug, yeah. I'm distant, and I'll give you a bad hug. Yeah, it needs that. It needs, like, the right word. So you have all these stuff that you don't want. Yeah. You're like, man, I, uh.

I should be more specific when I wish I could be like an NBA player. Right. I'm like, I meant jump and dribble. Right. I didn't mean forget to pull out and not have a real job. What is it with people not being able to pull out? What's up with the pullout game? Not only that, what's up with people just never wearing condoms? What the fuck is going on? You ever see someone who just knocks up and you're like, what do you do? Like, I wear condoms. They work. I got to tell you. Yeah.

I mean, I know broken condoms happen, but like, what are we doing here? And it's fun to jizz places, you know? Like, you should be looking forward to that. Yeah, the bus, the aquarium. Places. Well, you got this. It's like an added thing. The stomach, the tits, the face. Peter's just pointed to my hand. That too. You know, if you're you, no one else. And then I throw it in your face like I'm Spider-Man.

With great power comes great responsibility. Suck it, Vulture. You should think I'm housekeeping. I'm like, sorry. Yeah, yeah, that's something there. Yeah, it's close. It's tough because he switches over to NFL. I'm like, maybe you should start with athlete. That way you don't have to go NBA to NFL. Yeah, I don't know if the NFL thing adds a lot right now. I think the first part is something, though. Yeah, I agree. All right.