Ep 55: Boulevardier with Joe DeRosa
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We might be drunk, we might be drunk As long as we are hanging out, you know we might be drunk Raise a glass, let's talk shit, pep heaps, wrecks and a bit Maybe drunk, we might be drunk, yeah

Hey, hey, folks. Here we are. We might be drunk. You know it. You love it. We're back. Is it the new year? It's a few days before the new year. All right. Happy new year. We're backlogging here because some people are going on vacations.

What? You're going upstate. I know. I'm working. I just want to blame you. You're going to a resort. I'm going to Milwaukee. Improv. But you're doing a vacation before, though. Well, yeah. I'm bummed you're not here. Christmas in New York is like kind of – I'm a Jew and I'm still like this is special. I don't know. Are you a Christmas guy, Joe? Huge. My favorite time of year. Yeah. I'm sorry. We should introduce you before –

A good friend, one of my favorites. Give it up for Joe DeRosa, guys. The underrated, never got his due, the cranky, curmudgeon. I was going to say. Wet blanket, you name it. I think I've quoted one of your bits on here as saying it's one of my favorite jokes of all time where you said how you're adopted. And people ask, do you ever try to find and meet your real parents? And you go, no, I took the hint actually. That's one of the best jokes. That's great. Thanks. One of the only tight jokes I've ever written.

Yeah, it didn't sound like it. I'm usually up there rambling about something. Thank you, sir. What do we got today, Beer Jew? Today we have pretty much a classic, the Boulevardier. Ooh. Very nice. Classic. Very similar to a Negroni, just with whiskey.

But legend has it that it came before the Negroni. Oh! From Paris. Oh, okay. American writer in Paris. Is this, uh, so it's sweet vermouth, uh, whiskey, and Campari? Absolutely. Okay. Smells good. For the people at home, this is a big moment because Joe rarely drinks. So, this is huge. You once cursed me out two straight years for leaving your birthday party. I was leaving your birthday party and it was like 3 a.m. and you were like, you fucking piece of shit. I was like, Joe...

It's like a Monday. I might need to look into this because I was just over at Barstool for doing KFC and he was like,

You're a big drinker. That was like he led with that. He's like, not like accusatory or combative. He just was like, you're a big drinker, right? And all of my questions when I did ask the internet were like, if you had to give up one of these, which would it be? And one of them was always booze or whatever. Yep, yep. And then that's my intro here. I don't know. Yeah. I like to have a little sauce. Same. We do too. We got a show about it. So you're in good company. You're in good company. I mean, I get concerned when you start saying things like, ah.

We're just going to have one. Don't worry about it. I was like, what kind of drunk show is this? We might be drunk. Sometimes we're drunk. Sometimes we're not. Yeah, all right. Fair enough. We're pros. We got shows tonight. You got another pod to do, but we'll make it work. I got another pod to do, then I can go right home. You're loading up today. Yeah, there's three pods today. Three pods. We appreciate you squeezing. Please. I'm not squeezing. I'm happy. I'm delighted to be here. I thought you guys were going to be mad at me that I had to cancel last time.

No. This is really good, by the way. Very good. This is so good. What's your name? I'm Dan. Dan, it's great. Great work, Dan. Thank you. We love him, man. Yeah, he's a pro. Real mixologist. Let's go back to... Let's go back to...

What you said earlier about never got his due or all that. No, no, no, no, no. It's not bad. Okay. I'm a fan. No, I was in the bathroom peeing and I was thinking about the two of you and I was like, these are two guys I remember when they first came around. Yep. And I believe you both have...

Lightning bolted past me. You guys are doing millions of views on YouTube. You're kicking ass. I remember meeting you. When I was like a brand new comic, you were one of the nicest people to me.

Thank you. Salt of the earth. You really were, you're a genuinely good dude. I always liked you a lot. I used to come and do that show that you and Harrison had. That's right. Times Square, yeah. Yeah, well, you were always so humble, and I assume it's the adoption. I'll tell you where getting humble gets you. Being humble gets you. That's the way. It's not the way to go. Not the way. Not the way. You got to barrel around with your cock waving around, you know. You look at who's really successful, and they're mostly terrible people. Yeah.

They're mostly people who are not – they're never like the, oh, shucks, you know. Right. I don't know. But then you got David Tell who thinks he's the biggest hack and he's funnier than all of them. Yeah, exactly. I'm literally at the point now where I'm – when somebody asks me, what is success to you? It's like, you know, being content and loving the people around – I'm at that point of failure. Right.

The podcast is doing great, though. No, the podcast... I'm joking around. The podcast is doing great. Both of my podcasts are doing really well, which I'm very, very lucky about. And... The Clips was Sal Vulcano, so it's Taste Buds is the name of the pod. Taste Buds is the one with Sal, yeah. Yeah, dude, the Clips...

never fail to make me laugh they're so good oh thanks there's i it's such a how has no one come up with that as a it's so good so relatable then you sit there and you think about it well i actually like oreos and you get into it now you want to listen to the whole ep yeah it's funny how vehement people get in the comments the fans like people really really have some real

And in these times of like left versus right, men versus women, all that shit, the politics, it's just nice to veg out on some cookie debates. That's the same thing Kevin just said. Who's Kevin? Kevin Clancy, Barstool. Oh, Clancy. Literally the same exact thing he just said. He said, I love the show because I feel like it's a cure for the internet, what the internet is now, because everybody's bitching about politics and all this stuff. Abortion, race. You guys are arguing about Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. That's all we want.

We got a break. The recent one was you did Cherry Coke and Sal did Root Beer. Yeah, and Sam Roberts took Dr. Pepper. I'm with you. I think I go Cherry Coke in that one. What? Root Beer all day. Really? See, we're doing it right now. It's a hit. Root Beer ranked lowest in the poll. What? I grew up with Root Beer. Root Beer has got the float.

There you go. That's big. Big floats. You could do a float with cherry coke, though. Yeah, I know. Sal really tried to lean on that float argument. Nobody gives a shit. The float is out. I agree. The float's done. Stand by me. What the hell even? When's the last time you had a root beer float? It's not that good either. It melts immediately. It just starts to taste like creamy. It's a fun idea. Yeah. It's like a s'more. It's like, that's a fun idea, but it never really executes properly. It crumbles. It's a lot of work. Yeah. It's like eating ass. On paper, it seems great. There you go. There you go.

You're covered in brown stuff. It's not like eating ass. It tastes good. I wanted to join in. Now, there's a taste buds. Ass or balls?

I guess we've never licked balls. I'm an ass man myself as long as it's clean. It's your favorite? I don't mind an ass. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Same here. It's got to be real particular kind. Yeah. It's not like pizza. You know, you've got to really. You don't want a deep dish. I get it. You want a thin crust. Yeah.

Yeah, certain foods. I can do cheap Italian pizza, but I can't. Chinese at this point has got to be good for me. If I'm on the road and there's Chinese food, I'm like, I'm not trying. I'm not trying Missouri Chinese. Right. It's the worst thing for you. It's just sugar and sauce and rice and all that shit. See, here in the city, though. But I love it. And I live right near Chinatown. So I go in there all the time and get...

You know, the real deal shit like... It's the best. Or as real deals get the duck and all that stuff, which I love. But I got to say in the city...

I love nothing more than like just the joints. Like I love the little takeouts where you get like the classic spare ribs, the big fat egg rolls. Oh, yeah. You know, that's kind of harder to find in some of the better spots. In New York? Like I'm saying, if you go into Chinatown to like some of the like more traditional spots, that's American Chinese, I guess is what I'm getting at. That's what you like. It's like the Tex-Mex. I do love it. Do you ever go to WooHop?

We were just talking about WoHop. I know it's amazing. There's a place on this block that's insane. Yeah. So WoHop is like the ultimate version of American Chinese. Like it's all those classics, but they do it better than anybody. Yeah. What's your go-to order there?

I get, I'm big on spare ribs and egg rolls. Spare ribs? I'm almost always spare ribs and egg rolls for me. Like that's, I always go that route. And then I usually get like a General Tso's chicken. Yeah. That's a tough one to, I mean, dude, that's like my Christmas Day order. It's like, that's big. What's the reason General Tso's and sesame? The sesame's, right? Sesame seeds. Is that it? And then General Tso's is spicy.

Those black peppers. Oh, those will get you. Yeah, those are a motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah, they come out of nowhere. Yeah. But that's the difference. But, you know, the Chinese moved here and they were making their traditional food and nobody bought it. And they added a bunch of sugar and sauce and then went through the roof because we're fat and stupid. It's like that old Richard Jenney joke, how the French had the croissant and Americans did the croissan'wich. Ha ha.

Yes. We put chocolate in it, cheese in it. Yeah. We go hard. I mean, the double down, the fucking, what's the sadness bowl? Oh, the KFC thing. How do you feel on fast food? Love it. Yeah. It's my Achilles heel. It's, it's, it's, it's.

What are your top fast food spots? I lose that heel if I keep eating it. But we went to, this is the saddest story. We got drunk one night. This is 20 years ago. We got hammered one night. I can't remember who we were with. And we ended up at Penn Station at the KFC. Oh, I remember that night. You remember that? I think I might. Was I with you? I might have been with you. There was a good, God damn it. There was a, I miss the good old days. There was a good old drinking clique. Yes. It was you, Mark, Sam, me, me.

Soder. Soder. Joe List. Nate. Barcelona Bar was one of them. Oh, God. But that was like the core five. I remember Nate. Holy shit. This is... Talk about how times change, right? Nate...

could only get spots at the fucking world yeah the thing next to broadway at the world so nate would always be there like i got a fucking 11 o'clock yes unpaid spot unpaid spot like could they were making money i mean they were charging cover i mean that's this is like a side for a grammy now i know it's like wild right he was hilarious then it's just like people don't recognize it you know i mean yeah yeah it's wild but the people at home broadway comedy club was a

It's still around, but it was a bit of a scam room. They go, hey, we got Dave Chappelle here. Oh, they're going to kill me. One person said, we have Tina Fey here. I'm like, she doesn't do stand-up. This is who you're pitching? We got Richard Pryor here. On the wall, there's a mural. It's horrible. It's still around, but they would bark you in. Fake alcohol. Well.

Whoa. Oh, we're going to get sued here. Oh, should we not be saying this? Well, we'll beep the name. Well, wait. Not fake, but it was like corn syrup or some shit. It was that corn-based stuff that you could sell if you didn't have a liquor license. Right, because it was near a school. So I think... Yeah, it's not...

I'm not allowed near those. Eastville used to do that. Did Broadway do that too? They had. Eastville, the original Eastville before they got their license did that. Then they got their license. What they did, it was like 12%. You order vodka, but it had the alcohol content of wine, I think. Right. Because it was that 12% whatever. But I got spat on at that club. Damn.

That's how grungy that and to their credit, the waitresses that were so fucking cool that like they bear this guy. I just heard a guy get up and I was like, oh shit, this guy's going to we're going back and forth. He gets up and I hear him go and I was like, fuck nails me right here. All these sassy Hispanic waitresses barricade the stage for me.

And I'm just I just had watch Chris Murphy walk me out. Whoa. Yeah, he was like he's waiting for you So I'm gonna walk you has a great guy great guy first threesome I ever had was the only time I got spat I got spat on in Philly and then I had a threesome after the show was a very different spitting story Yeah, these two girls were like fuck that guy. Come on Let's go drink and we went out drinking and like we had a threesome. Why spit on them? Am I cuz yeah remember my cousin goes did you leave with those two chicks? I go. Yeah, and he goes

I got to start getting spit on. Yeah, it was not a bad night. But Broadway was Scott Moran. You guys know Scott Moran? Yeah, I love Moran. Great guy. He used to have that great web series that he did called Comedy –

What was it called? Comedians? The comedy mind or something. They did a bunch. Giannis did one. Giannis Papas did one about getting shot. Yeah. And Phil Hanley did one on crowd work. Oh, that's right. Mine was at Broadway Comedy Club, most of the footage. And the reason Scott was following me that night was because it was when my mom had just gotten over breast cancer, gotten through breast cancer. And I was doing a lot of material about it. So he goes, I want to follow you and document you talking about this like tragic thing that your mom went through. And then like now you're doing it on stage.

And I was like, okay, we got to, we did the first show, then we went to Broadway. And during the set on Broadway, a drunk nurse started heckling me and I lost my shit. And I called her a stupid bitch and then I lost the crowd. Yep. And then that's what the show, that's what the episode became about. It was about like losing your shit on stage. And like, it was brutal, dude. Like he came back two weeks later and had me watch the footage on camera and

And I was mortified. And I was like, I shouldn't have done that. Like, I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. But it was this great cathartic... Like, people really liked the episode because they were like, wow, you really let us, like, kind of see...

Behind the curtain, you know, if you if you never snap on stage, you're not doing bad enough rooms that you're just doing a room Never if you never just like lose it at a person like Michael Richards lawyer Well, yeah, I don't mean like that but I mean, you know if you never snap every once in a while I mean the amount of disrespect that we I mean last night I did a show in New York and they're just like screech. They're just animals. They're just the worst and

Behave proud and you're like, of course we snap. Our life used to be all that. And then at a certain point you start weeding those shows out. Yes. But there's a period where your life is just disrespect show, disrespect show. And you're like, of course you're going to break. Yeah. And it's not just from the audience. It's from the owners, the bookers. You get it from everybody. It's brutal. We can't pay you tonight, but we have a panini on the house. Well, that's what I was used to say was that what people never understood was when you would flip at a heckler.

Which I don't know about you guys. I don't do it much anymore because I'm just kind of like, I don't know, you get it out of your system eventually and like you start to learn how to navigate it a little better, I guess, or whatever. But like when I would flip at a heckler, I would always say like, you think that this is like you and me. It's not. This is you. This is me and 12 years of this. Right. Like you're not, this is a snowball effect. Right.

But I got banned from the Laugh Factory in New York for a year because I flipped out so bad at an audience. So that was on 42nd and 8th, right? And then it became Times Square Arts Center. Horrible. And then it became a haunted house. Which was less scary than Times Square Arts Center. I remember when it became a haunted house, Mike Vecchio turned to me and goes, but then again, it always was. There you go. That's a better one.

And it was before any of that. It was a big multi-level, multi-room strip club. And I think it was a porn house before all that. Yeah. Yeah. So, why did you get banned from that club? Let's hear it. They would have this on Saturday nights, the room would just be completely unpoliced and it was Times Square. So, God knows where this Motley Crue was coming together from. Savages. But people just like literally on their feet screaming, like just a completely chaotic room through the entire show. Yeah.

And I went on one night and that started happening. And I just started going at all of the... I was just like, fuck you all. I hope you all fucking get AIDS and die in a car accident tonight. You're all pieces of garbage. You don't fucking deserve a show. All this stuff. Not the...

Most clever. It doesn't sound that bad. You know? You're sitting in the car with a jerk store called, they're running out of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got banned. I got banned for looking. Wow. That's it? Mm-hmm. Damn. Yeah, the booker at the time said, I don't think you can handle this room and I don't think you're right for it and I don't think it's good that you...

Flip out the way you do and I guess it was probably the third time that it happened You're going on stage waiting for it you're watching there's nothing worse when you're watching the show It's like a fight. It's like a firing squad. You're waiting waiting execution. You are watching it happen to everybody and then you're right and

I had a horrible experience at that club. I was like a really young comic. And I remember I waited all night to do a check spot. And it was me and another comic waiting to do a check spot. And he said, we only have room for one. For those of you who don't know, you're literally going on stage as people pay their bill. So, it's the worst time to go on, whatever. But-

I go on, I say, he's like, oh wait, we only have room for one of you. And the other guy starts crying. He's like, all right, you can go on. What? Because he didn't want to deal with the guy crying. So I was like, this is bullshit. Yeah. So I remember I just waited like three hours. It was like one of those. You're like, oh my, this is comedy. Who was it that? I kind of want to say. Okay. But we know him. Yeah, yeah. But that's all I wanted to know. Is there somebody we know? We know him. Oh, man. And I was like, this is brutal. I can't wait for these mics to turn off. This is brutal.

I'm excited. Yeah, I don't want to put it to you. Why was he crying? Because I think he was just broken. It's shit like that every night when you're a young comic. I don't even blame him. I just thought it was fucked up. I'm like, that's why you're picking him? Yeah. Oh, wait. He picked him because he cried. Yes. Oh, I thought he was saying he picked you. Like, this kid's crying. Get out of here. No, I think he didn't want to deal with the bullshit. Oh, I misunderstood. I thought you got it.

I was like, shit. Oh, that sucks. So did you watch the guy's set? No, I think he cheered up a little bit. I was like, fuck it. No, I got out of there. I was like, fuck that. I never went back. I was like, that's insane. It's crazy. Gary Veeder. I think it might have been Nate. No, no, no. I'm not going to say it was, but obviously not. I can't believe the reverence

And fear I used to have for these rooms. Same. Of like worried about every little thing. Now, I'm just like, hey, you want to just go on with me? Who gives a shit? Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, who cares? But you had to. To want to do it, you had to go, uh. Sure. And that's how they got you. They go, you can't handle this room. And you go, oh, I guess I got to learn how to shit on people and crowd work and all that. But that's not what...

what comedy should be. It should be great ideas and bits and original, but that was part of it was learning how to babysit. Yeah. And that's good. I mean, when you see people with not any fear coming up, you're kind of like, well, you should be a little scared. This is your life. Yeah. A healthy balance. A healthy balance. People are used to, uh, fear is a good thing. People are used to, uh, people think bombing is like not a big deal. That's why it's weird when I see, like, I'll see Instagram posts from new comics and they're like, I was disrespected by this audience member. And you're like,

Oh, yeah. You're posting about that? I thought that was a part of it. Like, that was like the first 10 years of my occupation. Yeah. It's so funny, like, the shift of that because it's like...

Now it's like, yeah, I was disrespected by this. It used to be like, watch this stupid cunt get owned. Yeah. You know, like... Yeah, you have some drunk guy yelling at you and like you would just walk all over him. The place is going crazy. Yeah. Like cheering. That was the clip you posted. That was the clip. I mean, it made Bill Burr famous. The Philly thing. It was him winning. But also the...

Also, it was him surviving. Surviving. That crowd was hostile and Burgess was like, fuck you. But the famous clip is the Bill Hicks one where he's just screaming at that woman. And I think a lot. So he's just calling this woman a cunt. And you're just like, you watch it now and you're like, it's not his finest moment. I don't know why everyone's. And you see comics who watch that clip and they're like, I'm going to have my moment like that. Yes, yes. And you're like, you don't want to have that moment. No, no. I 1,000% did that. Yeah. Really? I swear to you, I 1,000%.

Thought that that kind of thing was so cool and so great, which is why I would flip out the way I did. I was also an angry guy. You think you're less angry now? Much. Oh, yeah. Look at him. Yeah. Much. You were shaken before. Yeah. Yeah. Keyed up. Ready to go. You're on edge. Yeah. Are you a tense guy?

Well, the adoption. It's the last time I'll bring up the adoption. I don't care. It's funny. All right. Tense. Yeah. Yeah. Anxious. Yeah. You know, but usually I'm able to navigate it a lot better than I used to be. You get older. Yeah, you get older. You get better at not taking things personally. Yeah. You get better at saying, I don't want that part of me to come out anymore, you know, unless absolutely necessary, which it rarely is.

And it was just a lot of that. It also too has a lot to do with self-worth and not letting things define your worth. I'm kind of on a kick where I keep talking about this. But the second during the lockdown, the second I realized I wasn't valued because of comedy, I was just a person doing comedy amongst other things. That was a big moment for me. And it was hard because it was two to three months first that

Of utter anger and fury and depression that I had moved back to New York to do comedy and then comedy was gone. And at that point, we didn't know what the fuck was going on. Yeah. You know, like it was like and it was woe is me and my life sucks and I moved back for all this. And then when I realized, no, idiot, you move back because you like to live in New York.

Comedy is part of it, but that's only part of it. And then all of a sudden, it just, everything changed. Wow. And that was it. Good for you. Because a lot of people went the other way. They went angrier and the world's against me and fuck you, I'll kill you. And you went, hey, life is okay. I'm not defined by this. Start a podcast blaming the Jews, you know. This isn't the answer. I had a bunch of road dates lined up. Not a bunch, but I had road dates lined up for that like,

you know, sort of coming out of it phase that we were all in and when it went in June-ish, July, whatever it was of that first lockdown. Yeah, when they were canceling it like week to week and we kept thinking this pandemic wasn't going to go away. Yeah. Yeah. It was going to go away, I mean. I had road dates let up and I had a TV thing lined up and I canceled all of it and pissed some people off but I was like,

I'm sorry, guys. Like, I'm not doing this right now. Like, I don't know. It was weird. It was weird to go from a six-month period to go from saying I have to do every single thing that gets offered to me and being a complete slave to it to going, sorry, guys, not now. Yeah. And feeling, like, very comfortable about it. No, we get it. This is our third time asking you to come on. Yeah.

Sorry, I can't do it right now. But no, you're right. There is a value in saying no. Like sometimes we just we are so trained to be agreeable and just like dogs for these people. You know, ball team player. When the pandemic hit, I didn't realize how much we were on. Our foot was on the gas 100 percent for years. And then when the pandemic I was like, whoa, why? I didn't realize like you could you can stop for a second.

Yeah. Well, that's the thing. To go back to what we were talking about earlier, when I was saying the reverence and fear that we had with these clubs, I agree. Fear can be a great motivator. And being scared and anxious can keep you on your toes. And I think that's good. And it helps you criticize yourself and whatever. But I think more what I was referring to was the fact that after this pandemic, I guess it's still happening, but like after that lockdown, I should say, we were –

I won't go back. Yeah, like a lot of, I was just like, I can't believe I let so-and-so make me feel like they were valuable, like in some way in my life. Like, what the fuck? I've spent way too many hours in the shower going, that fucking guy, I'll tell you. And then he's quit comedy since then. I wasted all those hours, you know, thinking about him in the shower. I remember to the day I moved to LA, I was furious the comic strip wouldn't book me. Yeah.

Furious. Furious. Yeah. I got to LA. I started writing for TV. I started acting on major TV shows and whatever it was. Better Call Saul. Yeah. You're great in that show, dude. Thank you very much. That's a great show. Well, you know I'm good by how they bring me back once every 17 months. Yeah.

No, I'm kidding. They're great guys. There's that bitterness we know. No, no, I'm just joking. But didn't Vince Gilligan, right? Vince Gilligan and Peter. Didn't he praise you on a show? He's great. They're amazing. I'm totally just joking. No, I know, but he really was like, you were a great actor. He's, thank you. Do you remember him on Louie? Louie, you killed it. Thank you. That was fun. Louie Gilligan. Stick to acting. Comedy. Yeah, right?

No, Peter and Vince are really great guys. Thomas Schnauz is one of the EPs. He's amazing. He's awesome, that guy. Yeah. Do you know him? I just know him from Twitter, but he's just a- He's great. Yeah, yeah. He's the funny best dude. I mean, he's written on so many- He's written on- Didn't he write for Breaking Bad as well? Yes. He's been on- He's written for like everything. Yeah. He's got a great career and a great body of work. And Jonathan Banks and Bob Odenkirk, everybody- They're all awesome and supportive over there. It's so fun. And it's so fun to get to be a part of something like that where you're not carrying any of the weight-

You know, it's fun to get to be like a Boba Fett character versus a Luke character where it's like, you better not fuck this up, dude. You're like, no, I just swoop into my scene and then I'm gone. Jonathan Banks is most of your scenes, right? It was in the beginning. It was all me and Jonathan Banks. And then it became all me and Odenkirk. So the last... All right. Well...

I can't say anything more. But, yeah, it's a lot of me and Odenkirk. How exciting. But, yeah, and he's great because he has, like –

You know, we really got to talking about stand-up comedy. Oh, yeah. Underrated comic. Yeah, he's a great comic. Mr. Show with Bob and David is like, I mean, for so much of guys like us, that was like our sketch comedy bible. Talked all about that, dude. Really? It's incredible. Yeah. And he would be like, it would be cool because you get excited. He'd be like, hey, man, did you do shows this weekend? You know?

And I said to him once, I go, dude, you're such a good comic. Like, why don't you fucking do stand-up anymore? And he's like, I have too much respect for it to not do it seriously. That's good advice for you. Keep some yucks going here. No, he's a legend, man. He's awesome. And I can't, like, say any of it for obvious reasons, but, like...

The last time I saw him, I was like, what are you working on? Like, you know, off camera, obviously. And he was like, oh, man. So and he told me like a couple. I was like, fuck. Like, if you were saying this to 18 year old me, I would be like shitting my pants. Of course. Like.

Like, he's really fucking cool. He's really funny, too. Yeah, I mean, that show was huge. Just the fact that they would do whatever. Yes. It was just, even when it was a miss, you were like, did they just fucking, even the attempt you respected. Yeah. And it hit so often, I mean. And they were ballsy. Like, if you watch it now, you're like, Jesus Christ, I can't believe they said that. They had a whole episode about how slavery was, like, they should be thanking us for slavery. We brought them here. And you're like, ah!

But at the time, you're like, this is funny. Wild. But they took risk like crazy. Bobbo. That guy, Jake Johnston from the Mr. Show was at the January 6th. What? Did you see that shit? Wait, what? Pull it up, dude. Pull up the picture. Jake Johnston, the Capitol. I'm not making this shit up. That guy's a great comic actor. Wait a minute. Was he there just to see what was happening? I don't know. Pull it up. I think he got Pelosi's laptop. Yeah.

Holy shit. It's hard to recognize him without the paint. But no. He was the one in the elk hood or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, Jay Johnston. Jay Johnston. Jay Johnston. He was there. Yeah, look. I mean, it does feel like a Mr. Show sketch, the whole thing. You just see his picture. There he is. Oh, that certainly looks like him. Handsome guy. He is a handsome guy. Good jaw. Nice eyes. I mean, could he... Is he into this sort of thing? I feel like we would have heard something. I mean, he's there. Yeah.

That can't be. I don't buy it. You don't buy it? You just broke Joe's heart here. I think he's there as a joke. Ah, it looks pretty bad. Well, that would be the joke though, right? Okay. I don't know, but here's the thing. No one knew what this was going to turn into, Joe. I mean, I don't think he was there as a joke. I mean, it also could just be a guy that looks like him. I don't think so. Oh, God. There it is.

There we go. All right, we got to move it along here. This is getting awkward. Wow. Dude, that – Anyway. Yeah, but Jonathan, it's so cool about Banks and Odenkirk is that they're kind of like journeymen who became stars. Yes. Banks is the greatest guy ever. The last time I saw Jonathan, I told him –

And I meant it very much. I told him that I learned more about acting from working in a scene with him than I'd learned in any class I ever took. Damn. And it was true because the guys, you know, they always talk about act with your eyes or whatever. The guy is just like, you look into his eyes and it's just, there's a lot going on, you know? Yeah. And that character is so intimidating. Yeah.

So like you do scenes with him and he's like, so just like he's, he's in it, man. He's awesome. He's fucking awesome. And he's like, he's really like an empowering guy where he'll be like, like, I remember the second time I was ever there, he was, he was like, let's go run lines. We were running lines in his trailer. And he was like,

He goes, listen to me. You're fucking good. So if you need another take today, you fucking ask for another take. Don't feel scared. All right? Like he was like really like you belong here kind of stuff. That helps. Fucking huge, dude. Goes a long way. Jesus, huge. Because we're freaking out on that sale. I know I am. I was having a goddamn shit. I was like trembling the first day, dude. I was terrified. It's Odenkirk. It's Better Call Saul. It's Gilligan. It's way out of our league. Yeah. So...

Do you think acting class helps? Because I've been told you got to take an acting class and I go, ah, it takes up your Saturday or whatever and I just blew it all off. I don't think any of it matters anymore because I think like, I think it's all just sort of stunt casting. Thank you, Beer Jew. Thank you, buddy. Nice work. Killed it. Great April. Yeah.

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Get Sheath Underwear and let them support your balls. So does he just come in to do this? Comes in and makes it and he leaves.

How do you, how do you, what do you pay this guy to do this? I give him a couple bucks. Yeah? Yeah. That's great. Nice guy. You want to borrow him? Before his shift, yeah. I can make a milkshake for Chase, bud. Shit, I should ask him, is he looking for work? I need, we need bartenders at the bar. Oh, he's good. I think he's got a gig, but he's very good. I mean, you taste this shit, dude. Yeah, it's great. I mean, the garnish in a studio, come on. This is a little fancy for Joey Roses. Really? But I mean, if you can do this, he can do what we're doing. Well, you want a little Jack. We're like a, we're like a shot beer.

Kind of bar. You know what I mean? And you do sandwich. Like the sandwiches are canned at Joey Rosen's. Let's hear about that. You opened a bar. You opened a restaurant. I mean, this is terrifying in New York. Speaking of shitting on set. This is a big deal. Well, it's a bar with sandwiches. It's a sandwich shop and bar. So we were doing the pop-up.

At the stand for most of the lockdown and everything for takeout only, obviously. And then we, you know, Paul Italia, my partner and I started to realize like, hey, this people seem to like it. It seems to have some legs. So let's try to open a spot.

And we found an affordable spot because of the rent drop and everything. And that's it. Like, here we are. We're now in the East Village. 174 Rivington Street. There you go. Check it out, folks. What's the... What are like the go-to sandwiches? What's your favorite? Right now, we just have the original eight sandwiches. So, I like all of them. But like, you know, people love the Fat Kid, which is a triple-decker peanut butter jelly with ruffled potato chips on it. People love...

The Eastie, which is prosciutto, salami, olive oil, Asiago cheese, and sweet pepadews. It's a nice little neighborhood-y style menu. Eight sandwiches, eight bucks a piece. There you go.

Yeah, this is... Were you a sandwich guy? I never... Love sandwiches. Oh, okay. Who's not a sandwich guy? I don't love them. What? I'm joking. But... Yeah, our website, this is an older... This is a dead page. But if you go to JoeyRosesNYC.com... NYC, that's how they get you.

Joey Ro- Oh, this is- Oh, there we go. Okay. There we go. Order online. Okay. The online is going to save you. The takeout is what keeps everything in business now. It bugs me, man. You know what bugs me, though? I hate going to Starbucks because sometimes you're in a rush and everyone's ordering by their phone now. That's right. So they take fucking 20 minutes to get an egg sandwich. I'm like, I'm here for the egg sandwich because I'm in a rush. Exactly. Same with the Chipotle. There's eight online orders. Ooh, that one came for the name. A little offensive. Yeah.

I'm waiting to get canceled for it. That kid. That one's the dad on the bottom right. That's like an Italian style salami. Oh, that looks amazing. Mortadella, cappy ham, and salami. Wow. But, you know, it was, excuse me, it was a thing I always wanted to do.

Paul helped me turn it into a reality. We partnered up. And, you know, as we went along and got closer to opening this place, the more relevant it felt to us because we were like, when's the last time the Lower East Side has had a place with –

Affordable great food and like drinks that you can afford to buy. You know what I mean? We've got some higher end stuff but we've got a lot of really affordable stuff too. It was like the whole idea was let's give something back to the Lower East Side. And the whole place is old school feeling and there's a picture of it there. The Lower East Side needs a little of that because it's getting real she-she down there. It is. So the whole place is like kind of old school social club. Woo!

Look at that sign. You can't beat that sign. Oh, that's beautiful, dude. Man, that's like good fellas. Yeah, you guys got to come down, man. I'm going to come. I love it. Let's do it. I can't wait. I'm assuming you guys are working on New Year's Eve. I think I'm taking off. All right, well, we're going hard on New Year's Eve. We're going to a big party. By the way, can we do that taste test, by the way, now, Matt? Can we do that? We got something because Joe is...

You're basically like a food expert now, I feel like, with the podcast. We got to try it. This looked weird and we wanted all to try it. So let's do it. We're on it? Very exciting. All right. We argued mac and cheese with Joe List.

Oh, what do you think? He loves mac and cheese, doesn't he? Well, he eats like a special needs eight-year-old. It's only pizza, hot dog, burger. He can't touch a vegetable. Craziest sentence I've ever heard in my life regarding food. Joe List said to me in a text, I eat chicken parmesan almost once a day. Wow. Let's do it. I was like, dude, that is insane. That's insane. That's insane. It's him and Al Capone, maybe. You know, who else would like that? Pass it around.

This is it right here. What do you got here? I've heard of this. I can't. Is it regular dairy ice cream? It's mac and cheese ice cream. I have a dairy thing. Do you really? I might be able to take the tiny little. Spit it out like tobacco. God, this stuff looks so disgusting. I've heard of it. I've seen it. Mac and cheese ice cream.

How could it possibly be good? Oh, we're passing this thing around like a stripper in Vegas. Hang tight. Here we go. I can't tell if I like it or not. It's kind of not awful. It's better than I thought it would be. Kraft mac and cheese, by the way. So they went real trash. It's not horrible. That is cheesy.

It is? That's not bad. Two bites and I'm out. That's what it's for. It tastes just like it. It's almost better because you're not going to go through a whole carton of ice cream. That's pretty good. You can't do it. Let me get one more for the road. I'll take one more too. I liked it. Great nails. You gotta swallow it. Spit it in the cup. In the ice with the ice.

Oh, yeah. That's not bad. Not bad. I mean, it tastes just like it. Oh, man, that's good. Better than the croissant witch, or what is it called? That cookie. I kind of like that. Oh, my God. Come on. You eat ass. It's not normal. It's not supposed to taste like it. I'm surprised. That's not bad. Not bad. They did a good job. It's better than the breast milk ice cream, I'll tell you that. Yeah.

Woo! Everybody's got to get kooky with the flavors now. Van Leeuwen is good, dude. Oh, I go there once a week. They're good. They do good work. There's two by my house. Have you had... You've had What's-Her-Faces, right? Mary's? Yeah, who's the lady...

Aunt Jemima. Nah. Mrs. Butterworth. Janet's. What the hell are they called? Jenny's. Jenny's. Yeah, it's good. I don't know Jenny's. Pull up Jenny's. I don't know what Jenny's is. Mark, it will change your life. Jenny Craig? No, it's J-E-N-Y, right? Yeah. Uh-oh, what's this? Dude, it's unreal. Oh, God. I'm a big ice cream cunt. Is that all of your go-to dessert type thing or no?

What's that? Ice cream if you're doing a dessert. No, because I developed a dairy sort of – slight dairy intolerance with certain things. So, I can't really eat ice cream the way I used to. Was this some Shark Tank nonsense? Dude, there's no joke. They got a double chocolate like midnight black – it's called like blackout midnight or something. Oh, boy. What's in there? Dude, it is so –

Fucking good. It's like crazy. They have an everything bagel ice cream that people love. Wow. I'm listening. Yeah. People really love it. Everything bagel. Dude, that everything seasoning is a game changer. So Jenny sent. I bought a little can of that. Fucking amazing. Jenny sent me and Sal free cases of ice cream because they heard us debating the everything bagel. Oh.

So they sent it to us. Wait, what was it? Who took which side with everything bagel? Sal was everything. I was cinnamon raisin. I got everything all day. Are you kidding me? I think cinnamon raisin is king. Why? King. It got no versatility. There it is. Blackout. Hold on. That looks great. Blackout chocolate.

Wow. Now, what does a pint cost? Is it $48? It's like $12. Oh, my God. $12. That's pricey. It's going up now. A smoothie is $25 now. That's pricey, but I'm telling you, dude, you're going to taste where that extra money went. Really? Yeah, yeah. It's organic. It's whole milk. It's oat milk. It's just stupid. It's like- Cow juice. It's unreal, dude. Okay.

All right, Jenny, I'll give it a shot. The cat was massaged while he was milked. Yeah, yeah. Right. Is there a store in the city? They've got a... Or is it all online? Yeah, no, they've got something. You can buy this in supermarkets and stuff, I think. Oh, okay, that's all I need.

I might go get some of that dairy-free Ben and Jerry's later tonight. Yeah, which one? What's wrong with that? Maybe the Chubby Hubby or the Cherry Garcia even. Cherry Garcia is a fucking classic for a reason, dude. Yeah. Cherry ice cream. We need more of that. It's just tough, though, dude, because you want to eat the whole goddamn pie. I know. Dude, it is over half of your day's calories. You guys reading Sapiens?

No, it is not. Which I know is like, sapiens is like the secret for men. But sapiens has a great piece about how we, when we eat ice cream, we go back to our monkey like ancestry where when you find something sweet back in the day, you just ate the shit out of it because there was nothing sweet. You know, there was no ice cream. There was no candy. You found a strawberry. So now we open a pint. We want to eat the whole thing because we're like, we might never see it again.

It's in our wiring. Really? Yeah, yeah. Jesus, you can't win. You can't win. Sugar is just fucking addictive. It is. I mean- More than cocaine, they say. Really? Yeah. I mean, it got a couple comics, Coke and sugar. Yeah.

You got Robin Williams? You got Robert A? I've seen Sugar get more comics than Coke. Yeah. You know? Robin Williams didn't die from Coke. You know what I mean? Good point. Yeah, like, I've seen more comics die from Sugar. You know, there's plenty of guys out there where you go, how did he die? And they were like, dude, his car was riddled with fast food bags. Yeah.

He just died on the road. I mean, Patrice, crazy. Diabetes. Right. It happens. Coke's at least hard to find. Sugar's right there. You know, you can't buy Coke at a Rite Aid. You'd think you couldn't. But, you know. Yeah.

I guess the guy outside of writing. Coke is like Republicans. You think nobody is one until you start doing it. And then you're like, oh, Jesus. Everyone's in? These guys are everywhere. I've never done Coke in my life, dude. Me neither. I have. It feels great. But the comedown, Joe. The comedown is the worst thing of all time. But that also has a lot to do with if you're not doing good Coke. Ah.

If you do clean Coke, there's not a bad come down day. But most of the time... All right, kids, if you're listening, just get the good stuff. No, a Coke come down, there's nothing worse than it. Chocolate midnight cocaine. But I get... Like, I got to tell you, I get the come down blues now from a night of drinking, too. Now? I got that 10 years ago. It's a nightmare. That's why I cooled it on the booze, just because of the next day. I get like...

God damn. Oh, same. Bad thoughts come in. We went to the Jets-Eagles game on Sunday and we big tailgate. It was a blast. Oh, wow. Who'd you go with? Did you go with Jay and all those guys? I asked Jay. Jay couldn't go. He's a big Eagles guy. I went with Paul and Chris Italia.

And Adele from the stand. Oh, yeah. And we went out and this guy Tommy from Wyoming Whiskey was like sponsoring all things. It was all this free barbecue, full open bar. Oh, boy. Full truck of beer and whatever. We had a fucking blast. Got shit-faced.

And then we all went to Joey Rose's afterwards. And that day shit-faced. Yeah. And we continued into the night. Sure. But like I still was, I mean, I was asleep by 1130. All right. But I woke up the next day. Yesterday was my day off and I was just like, oh my God.

Like you just – you feel terrible. I wasn't hungover. I was just sad all day. Right. But also it's that but also like even if I get a good night's sleep, it's not that quality sleep. No. Like the booze just fucks your head up. Fucks you up big time. You've been off for a while. Or not off but like – Off? Not off but like – He's hungover now. Well, no, because the last night – but the last time I saw you, you were – it was at the –

Patrice Benefit. Was that the last? No, that can't be the last time I saw you. No, it was a year ago. No, we did the Patrice Benefit and... God, was that two years ago? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah, well, the pandemic. I remember seeing you there and being like, let's drink. And you were like, I'm kind of just... Yeah, well, I'm not going as hard as I did because I physically just... I can't do the road like that. Like, I can't do more. I'm on the road every week. I can't do morning flights just feeling like that. It's incredible that you guys are out there every week. I admire it. Thank you. I couldn't do it. I think I...

You do learn to love it, honestly. Like, you get to a point where you're like, it becomes routine enough that you're like, yeah, I mean, I value those long sets, man. I love the long sets. Love it. I hate the airport and flying worse than anything. I get into a rage.

In the airport like I don't get into anywhere else in my life. It's so unnecessary. It's so regimented. I hate it. Group one, group two. Yeah. Terminal B. It's like. Yeah, but that's because you do different airlines. Yeah, maybe. This is you fly every week. You got to stick with one airline. If I flew every week, I would. But Mark doesn't do that. And if I'm like you get you miss out on all the status shit. Maybe you're right. But still, you got to still do security.

But do you have clear? I do. And you have pre-check? I don't. I have TSA pre-check. I got to do pre-check. I don't want to go to a meeting at the airport. You don't have to. You go to a little satellite office. Yeah. Oh, really? They have offices downtown. Oh, really? It changes your life. There's a place in Midtown that does it. The same place I had to go get fingerprinted to get approved for my liquor license also does TSA pre-check. Really? Yeah. They do a lot of stuff in that office to help you get-

get cool stuff into your life. I have friends who are like, I don't want the government to have my shit. I'm like, they already have it. I don't care about that. And also...

No, it just makes your life so much easier. Then you sit with one airline, you get the lounge access. It's great. Yeah, that's pretty good. What's in the lounge? I've never been in one. Oh, lounge is a game changer. They've got a bar. They've got coffee. They've got food. Is it an open bar or just- I don't think it's an open bar. It used to be. They changed it up a little bit. So the lounge is good. I always thought the lounge was just a private room that was- No, it's good. That was like the gate except private. It makes you not hate the airport. You go in there, you're like, ah. You got room. There's no animals in here.

All right. I can't... I mean, I get like... I'm not exaggerating. I get like dad in a Christmas story mad at the airport. Like where I'll literally be walking around cursing out loud to myself. Right. Like I get...

hate it so much. It's a nightmare and we go there more than anyone. Yeah. So anyway, but back to what we were saying. What were we saying? You can't do the road like that anymore is what you were saying. Yeah. I mean, there's been many flights where you get up and you're shaking, you're hurting so bad and you just want to kill yourself and you're in the middle seat and it's too much with the hangovers. I mean, we told this during the pod, but we did a gig with Schumer once in Florida and I remember puking in the bathroom at the airport and Mark just handing a ginger ale over the thing for me. Yeah.

I mean, that's where we were at. I mean. It's a young man's game. You kind of. There were too many like 7 a.m. nights. I'm like, I can't write new jokes if I feel like this all the time. I can't tour if I feel like this all the time. So it's like, I don't want to give up booze, but you got to kind of make a. You're like, I'm not going to go that hard because I can't. I'm going. I'm going to start. I start going out again in January 2022. In fact, Helium Buffalo, January 2022. I'll be there. Yeah.

Hasbro Kites Bananas February I think March or April Punchline Philly I'm basically going to do one weekend a month through 2022 just to kind of get back out

Polish off the hour, whatever. But... YouTube special would be a huge thing for you. That's what I'm going to do. All right! I'm going to do a YouTube special and put it on the No Press channel with Taste Buds and Hayman. Oh, I love it. Yeah. But... Well, you guys, listen, man. You guys really...

I think, opened or helped open the door to doing that. It's like, look what you guys did. Look what Joe List did. They were doing it before us. Well, of course. But I felt like you two, Shane and Joe List, were the four that I saw where I was like, okay, this is possible. We don't have to ask permission anymore. Like, you can do this. It's a waste of time to ask for permission, you know, because –

What happens is they don't just reject you. They sit on it and reject you after like three months. So you're like – That's true. So it's like if they just said no that week, I'd be like, all right. Right. But they fucking make you – you're like, I'm working on shit the whole time. I'm now sick of the material. Good point. So it's like – We're all about turning over. Let's go. Let's go. We got a lot of new shit. Yeah. Imagine if dating was like that. You know, hey, you want to go out for a drink? Yeah.

Maybe. And then you're like, I'm getting laid. Trust me. In three months, I'll get laid. No, let's get to it. This new girl, she's named Hulu. She's awesome. Dude, no, it's infuriating. So you just, it's...

They've lost a lot of power. I mean, they really have lost a lot of power. You got that right. Then you see some of the shit they do make and you're like, well, enjoy that fucking awful special. Enjoy making dog shit. It's a bad combo. Doozies out there right now. So many of the best comics are on YouTube right now. Yeah. They are though. You're right. But the trick is also, I always say...

Hey, man, if they're willing to give you the money, take it. Don't be stupid, right? But realize they're going to bury it. Yeah, but don't think you need the money. You know what I mean? Like if they're willing to give it to you, great. Take the money and get a nice payday and do your thing. But don't make that the end goal because the trick is not just saying I'll do it on YouTube. The trick is saying – the trick is understanding I don't need these other people.

Because I think a lot of guys look at it like, well, I could do it on YouTube, I guess. But, you know, what if? And it's like, stop. Put the what if out of your fucking head. Do it that way. Make a mission statement. Make a plan. And just do it. Because it doesn't matter. There's nothing that's going to be different. But I don't see anyone blowing up off like an HBO special anymore. No, those coming. That's what I'm saying. I mean, it's really Netflix or YouTube at this point. Like, you know, Amazon has buried some like.

I think Eddie Pepitone's special was one of the funniest I've ever seen. Hilarious. And they just kind of didn't promote it properly. And you're like, that dude deserves better. He's such a great comic. Yeah, Chad Daniels is on there. Chad Daniels. Eddie's first one was out independently first. And then Amazon started streaming it. Hmm.

So that's a little different. But the second one, I don't know. Do you see their interface? Every special looks exactly the same. Well, the problem is that they also made that comedy dynamics deal. Yeah. And it's like, who turned me down for an hour, by the way. Really? And then I'm watching. I'm on there and I'm like, what is this? Yeah. Like, guys, you're putting like open micers out with, I guess maybe they're shooting it themselves and then. That's what it is. Whatever. But like, but you know, it's just like, we don't.

need that stuff like i i it's better this and long term it's better because you sell it to hbo and you make a payday but you'll make more money on the road if you just keep with this youtube shit and you keep promoting elsewhere and all these social media the problem is we're insecure we want the approval we want the the netflix to tap you and go we like you and you go oh okay this is pretty good oh i got 300 grand all right but

It's not just that. It's that if you're trying to get on shows to promote your special, HBO special still sounds way better than YouTube special. True. Especially if you're trying to get on some of these old school programs. You're not going to get booked on whatever good day morning show. Yeah. If they're like, it's a YouTube special. If it's an HBO special, they're like, ooh, we're listening. Which is probably why they don't tell you the numbers because you go, hey, I got 8 million on YouTube.

But I got one million on HBO, so... But that's the thing, like what you're talking about the old programs, it's like they don't do anything. Yeah. You're better off posting it on your Instagram or your Twitter, whatever you're promoting.

And that's going to get you what you need. It's like, who the fuck goes, I watched Good Morning America today and learned about this thing. I'll watch some of those shows. I'll have like CBS Sunday Morning on the background sometimes. I've discovered some people. Really? Sure, yeah. Sure. Who? A dog act? What are we talking? Who's on Good Morning America?

I was on it once. Wow. I mean, all right. I mean, like, on hour three. I'm not bragging. But I was on at the end. But no, I mean. Who's on there? I mean, it's a big show, dude. That does good numbers. But it's like Kelly Clarkson. CBS Sunday Morning is like six million viewers. Really? Yeah, dude. Sure. It's got viewers. Absolutely. But it's like doing. It's like if you did Rogan once. Yeah.

It doesn't mean anything. It's like if you did The Tonight Show with Carson once. It doesn't – everybody makes it sound – I think that meant something. I think that Carson once. Steve Martin says the opposite in his book. He's like a lot of guys say like, oh, I did Carson once and it changed my life. He goes, I did it 16 times. People still don't know who I was. Whoa. You don't hear that story. Yeah. So like – or however many times he did. But it was a lot. But anyway, my point is like the chances are you could go on the biggest platform. You could perform stand-up.

on New Year's Eve ball drop on NBC, on the Dick Clark countdown, whatever the fuck it's called. You know, whatever the most watched program of the year. It doesn't matter. It's like...

It's – most of the time, it's consistency. Most of the guys that popped off of Rogan, for example, are guys that went on multiple times in a concentrated period. You see Burt Kreischer's like work ethic and it's like he's calling in every show. He's doing – I mean, you're right. It's not just Rogan. It's everything. So – Right. By the way, that fucking ball drop, like that's – people that go to that Times Square, they're escapemental patients. Yeah.

Even this year, you know it's going to be packed. Oh, yeah. What the fuck is wrong with people? Why is that a thing? There's no bathroom. They wear diapers. It's wild. It's so crazy. They get there at 7 a.m. I don't understand who thinks that's fun. People in Cleveland, they like it.

But, you know, like- I'd rather be in Cleveland. I would too, actually. Yeah, I can't. I don't care. I used to do- I mean, you guys used to do this too, right? Did you ever do Caroline's on New Year's Eve? Oh, we did it. I don't think I did do it. Oh, really? I think I did it all the time and for whatever reason, I never did New Year's. But I've done bad ones. I've done New York rooms on New Year's. No, no. Caroline's was great. It was fun. We did it with Wolf Soder. Oh, wow. We got Peter. We got Hammer. They paid like-

stupid amount of money. And you get a ticket to go see the ball. Like, you could walk in and out. You didn't have to just stay there. It was great. I think it was like you did, like, back in... I don't know if it's still this, but back in the day, it was like you did, like...

11 minute sets or whatever. Yeah. It's like $500 per set. Oh, it should be. It was like, it's not even that. Well, how much they're making? That's like nothing. I know. It was like, it was like, you gave me like 1100 bucks for basically 20 minutes of work. You open bar all day and then they take you to the roof and you'd watch the ball drop safely with a police escort from the roof. I've got a girl to that. It was a game changer. Yeah, I was in. Yeah, that was fun back in the day. Oh,

It was the best. That was a fun hang. I had some fun nights there, dude. Oh, yeah. Opened for some, back in the day, I would open for like, they hooked it up. Samantha Bayou was, she was awesome. She was great. Yeah. It was like Gilbert Gottfried. I opened for all kinds of comics there. Oh, my God. Joel McHale, J.B. Smoove. Jezelnik, I remember. Jim Jeffries. Yes. Yep. All those fun weeks. Jim was like the most fun guy to hang out with. Yeah. Jim was fun. Yeah.

Yeah, those guys. I used to hang out with Jim there. I used to hang out with Glenn Wool there. I used to hang out with – I used to open for Patton all the time there. Wow. Kevin Pollack. Damn.

I bet he's a cool dude. He's the best. Really? Great guy. Really great guy. Yeah. Didn't you do his podcast? I did. Yeah. Nice guy. Yeah. He just shit on me for an hour, but it was fun. Really? Yeah. He's fun. He's like a ball breaker. Yeah, he's fun. Oh, nice. He's a fun fucking, I like Kevin a lot. Usual suspects. I mean, that's like, how many comics do you see in those types of roles? It's pretty cool. I know. And he's one of those guys too, he'll tell you every story. Yes. Oh, wow. He'll be like, you work with Lemon and Matthau? And he's like, oh, yeah.

Yeah. Larry David. I know. Larry David did Kevin Pollack's podcast. Larry David's like, you're good. You're like a great interviewer. And he's like, thank you. Wow. I'm such an LD fan that I was like, wow, he's blowing Pollack.

It was fun. Dude, that's – those old Lemon and Mathow movies, I'm just – I can't believe I'm this late to the Criterion channel but I've been just cruising through – I mean, they've got so many – The Apartment is such a great movie. It's on there. Yeah. So many classic movies. Yeah. Is that a Wilder? Yeah. Yeah.

Fucking Billy Wilder, bro. I think that was Best Picture. Jack Lemmon was the man. He was the man. Arguably the greatest American actor. Whoa. Dude, is it the hero? Brando? Listen, I'm not taking anything away from any of those guys. No, no, it's arguable. That's fair. That's what I'm saying, arguably. He's got range. Daniel Day? Daniel Day's not American. Meryl Streep? He's not? No.

Not so good of an actor either. I didn't know that. You didn't? No. Daniel Day's like Scottish or something. He doesn't do like interviews. No, I think he's Scottish or Irish. He doesn't do interviews. That's why he's very few at least. Well, what about Hoffman? Philip Seymour Hoffman? Great. Listen, these are all great. Yeah, no, he said arguable. Yeah, arguable. I'm arguing.

Jack Lemmon. Dude, do you ever see the Glenn Gary Glenn Ross with him? It's so good, too. I just bought the 4K Shot Factory version. Isn't it great? On Cyber Monday. I got a deal on it. What a downer of a movie, but still. It's the best movie. It's my second favorite movie of all time. What's your first? Hannah and Her Sisters. What?

Good movie. One Woody Allen. We just talked about like Thanksgiving movies and that's kind of a Thanksgiving movie, right? Begins and ends on Thanksgiving. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. That's a great – so that's not – that's your favorite movie? It's the most insightful movie I've ever seen. Dang. Because of Woody Allen's attempted suicide and his new found – It's everybody. It's everybody. Like the inner monologues of every character that they play throughout that movie are just like –

holy shit. Yeah. I felt like that. There's a scene, the one that rocks me the worst is, or the most is, there's a scene where Diane Wiest and Carrie Fisher are competing to hook up with the same guy. Sam Watterson. Sam Watterson, yeah. Yeah. And, uh,

And Carrie Fisher edges Diane Wiest out. And like, it's that classic thing where you, that happens to you with a friend and you're like, they're always doing their fucking cute bullshit. And like, you're so, you're like, I'm more worthwhile. What the fuck? You know? And she's in the back of the cab and just the way she's going through it in her head as they're driving to drop her off. And she's just like, she's always acting so cute, but she doesn't know anything about that. And then she just goes.

Oh, what the hell? It wouldn't have worked out anyway. I'll just take an extra volume tonight and get into bed and watch you. And you're like, how many times have you felt like that? Yes. Oh, fuck it. I'm better off. Like, I'll just... I'll have a couple extra drinks. I'll...

It's just so... So relatable. Oh my God, dude. It's heartbreaking. I love Diane Weiss so much. I mean, she's always incredible, especially the Woody Allen movies. But I mean, but when I was a kid, by the way, I used to play in the park and she would be there with her kid. Really? My mom's like, you would always be playing. Diane Weiss was always just like playing with you as a little kid. That's amazing. Dude, she's such a legend. I mean, Bullets Over Broadway, she's like... Yes. That movie, another thing about that movie is Michael Caine just like, why did I fuck

What was it worth? Like that's cheating. That's what cheating is. Yeah, that whole thing. Like he's obsessed with the sister. They have the affair. Then the whole thing about like how everybody resents Hannah because she's never – she's always the one that's like the pillar for everybody. And everybody's like, don't you get tired of being so perfect all the time? Like –

It's just an earth-shattering film, man. Heavy stuff. And hilarious. And hilarious. Some of the real. And the parents. The way the parents fight when they're singing and the mom's like a drunken flirt, you know. It's probably the best Woody Allen. Really? I'd say it is. I'd say it's up there. It's in the convo. It's funny. Yeah. And the funniest Woody Allen joke when he goes, when he goes, Woody.

She goes, it's not cancer. He's Julie. What's her face from The Simpsons? This is Klausner. Yeah. Partner or whatever. Marge. Yeah. Oh, homie. And she goes, it's not cancer. Or she goes, what are you worried? It's cancer. And he goes, don't say that word. And she goes, it's not. Or she thinks he has a brain tumor. Yeah. It's not a brain tumor. The doctor just said it's probably not a brain tumor. And he's like, they have to say that or else the weak ones might panic. Oh, wow.

Wow. Dude, also, not to mention one of the best movie soundtracks ever. I've heard that song before, The Bobby Short, I'm in Love Again. Like, beautiful music in that movie. Really beautiful music. Yeah, yeah. Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered, Ella Fitzgerald. Fuck. Yeah. Heavy shit. There you go. Good stuff. I'm with you. I love that movie. What was that, mid-80s? Yeah. It's like 86 or something, 85. I mean, it's right in the... That's like peak...

He was in the fucking zone. He was rolling. He was like Crimes and Misdemeanors. Manhattan. Not too long after Manhattan. Yeah, like he's like in the fucking groove right then. Oh, yeah. But yeah, Criterion, I just actually hit up Barnes & Noble did the Black Friday, Cyber Monday Criterion 50% off sale. So I just bought like...

Like literally, I'm not even kidding, like I don't know, 15 or 20 Criterion Blu-rays. Do you still watch DVDs? Oh, I still collect. Yeah, I collect a lot of movies. Yeah, that guy. Yeah, I collect video games and movies. Really? Yeah, and music too. What movies did you have to have for Criterion?

I got a bunch. I got Videodrome, which is an amazing James Woods. I don't know it. David Cronenberg movie. Oh. Cronenberg. Wild. It's a wild movie. It's wild. It's one of his really early ones, right? It's one of the earlier Cronenbergs. Yeah. Super early. Yeah.

So I got that. I got Nightmare Alley, which is an old film. Are we making it with Bradley Cooper? It looks good. What? Really? Yeah. Oh, it's Guillermo del Toro, I think. Dude, it looks fucking visually insane. It looks great. It looks great. Are you a horror guy? Huge. I can see that. What are your go-to? I don't know a ton about horror. I hate horror. It's not my go-to genre, but if there's a good... Dana Gould told me to watch The Thing, and I was like, that's an incredible movie. Really? Yeah.

So, okay. So, the whole thing is a masterpiece. Dana Gold. Okay. So, I'm friends with Dana, but I'm really good friends with his girlfriend. Okay. Yeah. Kat. Yeah. Yeah. And so, I called Kat one day to catch up and she was with Dana. Yeah.

And she put me on speaker and Dana's like, hey, man, how you doing? I'm like, hey. And I go, I have a bone to pick with you. This is one of the only people I could ever say this to. And he's like, what is it? And I go, I was watching Eli Roth's History of Horror. And he's like, uh-huh. And I was like, well, you were on the Creature Features episode. Or the Monster Movies episode. Yeah, yeah. He goes, okay. I remember this. Yeah, and he goes...

He goes, yeah, yeah. And I go, you're talking about The Thing. And he goes, yeah. And I go, you called The Thing a monster movie. And he's like, yeah. And I go, I consider it more of a creature feature. And he goes, you know what? You're right. And then Cat goes, what the hell is the difference? And then he just goes...

I don't have time to reteach you on all of this. Oh, my God. You can hear the vagina is drying up from this conversation. Jesus. This is some nerds. That's hilarious. That's like a one-of-a-kind. It's like, who else could I have had that? That's amazing. What video games do you collect? Sega Genesis? Yeah, I have about 40 systems. You feel like a Sega guy.

I have, I just got the new Atari. Jesus. I got the PS5. I got the Xbox Series X. I got the Nintendo Switch. But then I collect all the old systems. So I have the Master System. I have the Sega Genesis. I have the Sega Saturn. I have the Sega. What does Master mean? Does that mean you can just play any game? No, the Master System was their thing that competed with Nintendo. Oh, I never heard of it. It's called the Sega Master System. What do you play the most?

I play a lot of Atari. What? I play a lot of Atari 2600. What is on it? What games? Well, there's tons of games, but like, you know, there's a game called Spider. I mean, where are we going here? Well, Pong's on there, but I don't really fuck with Pong. Spider Fighter is a game I really like. Frankenstein's Monster is a game I like quite a bit. But I like the simplicity of the 2600. Like, it takes you back.

And I still play like the new Call of Duty. You're a simple man. You like your Jack Daniels meat. You like your sandwiches. You like your Atari. There's something about sitting there with a joystick with one button. That's true. With these like archaic noises coming out of the TV. And just, it's simple, man. You're right. Shoot the fucking aliens. Like, that's it. And we're going back with Apple. It's just one button. It's a lot of simplicity. Yeah.

Yeah, you're playing against yourself. Atari is golf. Like, you're playing against yourself. That's it. Like, how good are you? That's great. You're right. Do you like, like, the modern systems? What's a really good modern game? I don't know a ton about video games. The PS5 is insane. Really? I like the Xbox Series X. I like both of them. And I like the Switch, too. But the PS5 is doing things with the controller that are just nuts. Like what? Does it shake? Man, that's old-fashioned. They added, like...

I would assume it's like thousands of different vibrations into the controller. So, every single thing that's happening in the game, it's like a different vibration. It just really puts you into it. And then this audio interface they have where some of the stuff only comes out of the controller. Whoa. And the other stuff comes out of the TV. So, I'm playing a game called Deathloop right now. And like... Deathloop. Yeah. It's a first person thing and... And it's on PS5. Yeah. Yeah.

And there's a woman that you're in communication with who's basically like manipulating you and like taunting you. I've played that game. As you're trying to bait, trying to break this death loop that you're in. I call her Claire. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

But like her voice only comes out of the controller. So everything on the screen is happening and then she's, and then it just feels like it's in your ear. It's weird. Whoa. It's wild. That's another level. Like mental fuck. Yeah. Holy shit. It's incredible what they're doing now, man. Yeah. I think Super Nintendo was a real moment in video. That really, it was like Donkey Kong, Mario Kart, Goldeneye. That really like. Goldeneye was N64. Yeah.

Oh, shit. Sorry. N64 was fucking... To me, that was like the craziest shit ever. That was big. I was a perfect age for that. Why? Did we go long here on you? Is it 320 already? Wow, that's what booze will do to you. All right, we'll get you out of here. We'll get you out of here. Should we do a shot before we go? No. Whoa.

This is what happens with Joe. We got to do a Patreon, too. We got to pace ourselves. Okay, all right. Fair enough. Fair enough. But you're welcome to do whatever you like. No, no. You got Jack Daniels, the good stuff. Norman, you want to do one? I'll do a halfie. All right. Fuck it. I'll do a halfie. What the hell? Oh, it's fucking noon. God damn it. All right. This is what happens with this guy. This is why you're out till 4 a.m.

Just pour a little in here. We can take it in the cups. Right now. Get his shot glasses. Matt's getting his shot glasses. Oh, God. You're an animal. Joe's got one of my favorite jokes. He used to say, like, hey, I drink too much. I eat like shit. Ladies, stop fucking me.

I love that joke because it's such a good point. You're like, they still fuck me. Why would I go to the gym? Yeah. Why would I ever get in shape? Yeah. Go light. Go light for me, please. Go light. We got two more reps to do here and I got shows tonight.

You're a good man. I had a great time on here. No, we love seeing you, dude. And as you said, I don't see enough. I mean, it's always a bummer. I don't see enough. I really would love you guys to come down to the bar. I'm going to come. Hang out one night. I'm going to come. Definitely be there. That'd be fun. That dad looked amazing. Thank you. Thank you. And dude, plug whatever else. I mean, you got Taste Buds with Sal Vocano. You got the other podcast. Yeah, yeah. So Taste Buds with Sal Vocano. New episodes every Monday. Thank you.

Thank you, sir. New episodes every Monday. Audio wherever you get it. Full video on YouTube on the No Presh Network channel. Hell yeah. We'll see you in hell. My horror review podcast. I do it with my friend, Pat Walsh. Oh, I like that guy. I've met him before. He's the best. He's so funny. I really like him. So funny. The back catalog is on Starburns Audio and wherever you get your podcasts.

New episodes are on Patreon at patreon.com slash W-S-Y-I-H podcast. And then finally, Joey Rose's open now Wednesday through Sunday starting at 12 p.m. each day. Full bar. It looks amazing. New food is coming. And we have a lot of New York listeners. So guys, go support Joe. Can I bring up one thing before we do our plug here? Just about the video games. And this is a peeve I have with video games now. I like the...

the hang of the video games you play with your friends it's like four person multiplayer ps ps is like done away with this you have to play people online i i had to buy during the pandemic when i was living in la with taylor i had to we bought an xbox to play co-op halo because we're like this is so fucking fun yeah but it's like most systems you got to set up your email address this is such a i just want to log on and play yes you can still you can still do that there's a lot of

Like with any new device now, they're going to get your info out of you, right? But you can still do the couch co-op stuff with the newer systems. But again, this is why I go back to like I love ColecoVision and I love Atari and I love Intellivision because it's like you pull out the system, you pull out a stack of games like this high.

And you just fucking put games in. Yes. And it's just like, dude, we're just going back and forth. We're playing Space Invaders. We're playing fucking Astro Smash. I do kind of miss blowing in the thing, right? Yeah, yeah, totally. There's something about it. The old stuff is nice. Like, I got this old Beamer. And it's 1973. And I drove it around last night for fun.

And I got out of it and I closed the door and I went to a restaurant and I came back and I noticed the door wasn't clicked all the way. You know how you got to close it and bump it sometimes? It wasn't clicked all the way. And if that was another car, a new car, there would be a light on. Like, hey, your door's not closed. And that'll run down the battery. Now your battery's dead. This thing has nothing to do with the battery. It's just metal on metal. Right. And there's something nice about that. There is. There is. I had a 2002 Jaguar before I left LA. Wow. Jesus Christ.

Where'd that come from? What are you, my grandpa? Dude, here's the thing. It was... I bought it... Excuse me. I already did my... I bought it for $1,500 cash. Wow. It ran like a champ. And it was like...

People saw it and they were like, look at this fucking car. And they were like, yeah, man. There was like something to all that, you know? Pull up an old- You know what I love about Joe? He's like a real old timey. He's an old soul. Old soul. You really are an old soul. Yes. I feel like you guys are too, though. Yeah. I mean, dude, we play jazz on here. We're talking about Criterion movies. I mean, we fucking- We relate to this very much. Yeah, we like MILFs. So, 2002 Jaguar Maroon. Maroon? Or Burgundy, excuse me. Oh, damn.

Man, we say Burgundy. Speaking of, remember the Midnight in Paris movie? Look at that thing. The Woody Allen? Mm-hmm. Where it's like literally you think every other era-

Oh, that's fucking beautiful, dude. That's what I had with a tan leather interior. It was $1,500. How'd you get that? Did it run? Those cars don't hold their value because the older they... First of all, it's all European parts. Yeah. It's a pain in the ass if you want to get something fixed. And then the older they get, the harder it is to get the parts. So, most people don't want to deal with it. They're like, give me the new one or don't give me anything. I don't give a shit. Right. They don't hold value. You can get an old...

Would you say you have an old Beamer? 73 Beamer. How much did that cost? Well, they're hot now, so they went up. But I mean... Was it a lot? Don't say if you don't want to say. It was more than 10 grand. Okay. But not much more. Okay. Well, then that's my point. Like...

You're talking about a classic car, vintage, whatever. Great shape. You're spending more for parking in New York. Let's say you spent 12 grand. You would never get a car that looks like that for 12 grand. That's my point. Dude, there are buildings that charge 100 grand a year for parking in New York. It's insane. 100 fucking grand. Yeah, you're right. That was actually worth three grand when I bought it. The guy that was selling it was like, dude, I just need to get rid of it, man. My wife's telling me I got to get rid of the car. Did you get laid in it?

Blown. I did. Jerked. How about- I really fucked around in that car a little bit. Dude, what website did you find it on? Literally a guy selling it on the street. He knew the guy. What? I was parked on the street in LA. I drove by it or I walked by because I didn't have a car at the time. And I was like, holy shit. And I called the guy immediately and he's like, yeah, man, I could meet you there right now if you want. And he came down and as I was looking at it, three different people that passed were like

dude is this for sale and then i was like and then i was like dude just give it to me just give it to me like it's like yeah like 1500 yeah you paid him cash i went right to the bank got 1500 out in cash and gave it to him hell yeah that was it love it just drive it at home must have been so fun oh dude it was awesome it was awesome i love a transaction like that yeah and i took it to a steak dinner that i met keith and arty fuqua at

At Prime in LA And when I was leaving Artie saw the valet bring my car around And he goes oh shit Who the fuck brought my granddad's car? Laughter

I remember after, you know, Artie was in the Tracy Morgan crash, for those who don't know. And I remember after, yeah, I got a lot of money. I remember I was on the steps of the comedy cellar, right? We hadn't seen him since it and we were all kind of worried. And I was on the steps with Michael Che. And I said, man, I hope he didn't spend his money on something stupid. The second I say that, he rolls around in a giant escalator. In a perfect suit. I've never seen him not in a suit since the crash. Yeah.

Now, Keith always says, Ari's Pee Wee Herman suits bug me. Fuck, I love Keith, dude. All right. I got to go down and do Bob's family show. Dude, I love you guys, man. We love you. Thanks for coming, man. Check out Joe. Everyone, Mark, plug some dates, man. Oh, and make sure to email us at wemightbedrunkpod at gmail.com. Wrecks, peeves, jokes, drinks, whatever you want for the Patreon. We love you guys on the Patreon. And-

you know follow joe de rosa definitely support his uh restaurant thanks joey roses thanks yeah and check out his dates he's gonna be on the road in 2022 i'm in milwaukee improv kansas city syracuse sacramento punchline uh la jolla comedy store all kinds of good days san diego underrated oh great town and that's like the nice part of san diego i got toronto uh

Richmond, Magoobies in Timonium, Maryland. I got Hartford Funny Bone. I got Sacramento, Columbus, Ohio, Beacon Theater, New York City. One night, baby. May 7th. Make sure to get tickets to that. That's a biggie. Get tickets. A few other dates coming, but oh, I got Orlando, West Palm, all that shit. So come support. Hell yeah. Yeah. Thanks, guys. All right, boys. Comedy.

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