[Patreon Preview] Ep 53.5: The Tooth Hurts
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Last one. Mike Erdos. Erdos, Erdos. Hey, guys. I'm a big fan of both of yours and would love to give back for all you do. I am a dentist who practices on the Upper West Side, and I would be thrilled to keep your mouths nice and clean at no charge so that you can keep your jokes...

Erdos, you got yourself a fucking deal. I will be there. You fucked up. I'm going to eat a bag of sugar daddies and a bag of shower patch kids and Tootsie Rolls and I'm coming in. I hope you like scraping milk duds. Yeah. Wait.

Wait, wait till I get my hands on this taffy. Save this guy's info. I'm fucking going in. Oh, yeah. Saltwater taffy all day. I'm going to suck a dick, drink an eggnog, drink two packs of Kool-Aid, and come on over. Erdos, how do you feel about fat third wheels? Ha ha.

Get some room for Salacus in there, too, bro. Oh, yeah. He's only got four teeth. He'll be fine. But I just did a podcast in Portland where the guy gases you and does a podcast in the dentist chair. He's a dentist. It was a lot of fun, and I got a cleaning, but the guy was like... Mark said the N-word. So he got cleaning, but he's going to be canceled for it. Well, these teeth, they're only whites. But I...

I haven't gone to the dentist since 88 because, you know, your parents used to make you go or mine did. And then once they stopped making me as I live in New York and not New Orleans, I just stopped going. I made an appointment about a year ago and it was the first time they were like, you haven't seen someone in eight years. And I was just like, yeah. They were like, that's a really long. I was like, I'm doing shit out here. Why don't you get out my fucking bag? I'm squeezing fucking titties out here. Oh. It's the last point when you'll ever have. Yeah.

And you're not horrible. You don't have bad dental hygiene. No, I'm fine. Your teeth look great. They're fine. So maybe these dentists are, no offense there, Erdos. Erdos, but. No, let's not piss them off. All right, all right, all right. I'm just saying. I'm just sitting in the chair. I'm just throwing this tit around. He's like, sir, please stop playing with this fake tit. Come on.

All right, Erdos. We'll be there. Let's look this son of a bitch up and go in there after a few pops. I'll get a few pops. Keep sending us emails. We might be drunkpod at gmail.com. We love you. We'll suck at your dickers. And we appreciate all you guys. And yeah, keep telling friends about the Patreon. We're loving it. Tell a friend. Spread the word. Peeves. Drinks. Wrecks.

Joke ideas. Anything you got. Movies. Whatever. We'll take it. Let's get a quick plug here, too. Well, let's do it on a regular episode. Why are we doing it on a regular episode? You might as well sneak it in here, too, though. All right, fine. Taylor Tomlinson, Sad in the City, new podcast. Give it a listen. I was on an episode. It's great. It's about Taylor being sad in New York City. Great premise. And it makes me feel great. I convinced her to move here, and now their podcast is, I'm unhappy. So...

No, but it's really great and you should give it a listen and we'll plug in the real episode. We should have plugged in the real one too. Next week. Yeah, that's true. All right. Thanks guys. Appreciate you. Comedy.