Where Are The Bodies w/ Wheeler Walker Jr. | Your Mom's House Ep. 738 01:42:26

I'm Tom Segura. I'm Christina P. I'm Rob Eiler. I'm Jamie Lynn Sigler. I'm Dr. Drew. I'm Lauren Compton. I'm not in the show, for real. And this is 69 Minutes. If you give us an hour, you'll miss nine minutes of our program. What's up? It's Tom Segura and I'm bringing my tour Come Together to Los Angeles for the Netflix is a Joke Festival. I'll be at the Kia Forum on May 9th. Tickets go on pre-sale this Thursday, December 14th.

at 10 a.m. Pacific with the code TOMMY before the general on-sale Friday. Get your tickets and all info at netflixisajokefest.com and tomseguro.com slash tour. Do you know what Sniffer's Row is? No. Could you tell me? Sniffer's Row is the front row of the strip club where you can smell the pussy. I remember when they cut my dick off to turn into a pussy. I asked for it and they said they weren't allowed to give it to me.

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim anymore.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, small more. And we are back. What are you giggling about? Because I just like being in December. Yeah, you do? Yeah. I do too. What do you like best about December? I like the Christmas season. I like the holiday. I didn't know that about you actually. How did you not know that about me? You've never expressed any sort of joy or satisfaction. I didn't

I didn't know that. No, I swear to God, in all these years, like 20 years. I have expressed joy and satisfaction at being in the Christmas season. You've never clearly said, I enjoy this holiday. Well, most people can pick up on other cues, you know? All right.

They don't have to go like, I enjoy the Christmas season. I just enjoy it. I like it. Last night I made our Christmas village, which I do every year in our living room. And I didn't feel any sort of way from you. You were absolutely indifferent. Didn't even compliment. And I've been working on this village for years. The village is great. I've perfected the village. It lights up. It moves and twirls. Not so much as a great village, babe. Great village. Exactly.

I really like it. I do. You know what I like the most, though, about the Christmas season? I'm serious. I like the way you feel.

Like the holiday, the Christmas season, I think makes everybody feel better. It makes you feel better about life. Yeah. It's joyful. It's like you, you feel more gratitude. You know, I think you, like you, you, you're thinking about other people. That's the first for you. Definitely. First time in my life. Yeah. Every December for a week I go other people and then that's it. And then back to normal. Yeah. Well, that's a good thing. I like it. Do you want me to bum you out about Christmas?

Not really. Okay. So my dad one time said this to me and like it totally made sense and it'll bum you the fuck out. I just want to... Okay. He goes, you know why they made Christmas, right? And I'm like, why? He's like, blah.

Cause it's cold outside. It's depressing and snowy and shitty. So they make something nice in the middle of winter so that you don't feel so depressed. And I was like, did I kind of, that kind of makes sense. It does make sense. Is it a hundred percent true? Is that why? I mean, look, the biblical account, like Jesus was born whenever spring, I don't fucking know. JC was born in the spring. Yeah. Because like, I don't remember reading about snow in the Bible. It wasn't like, Oh shit, they were walking and there's all this snow. So like,

Maybe my dad's fucking right. And it's a bummer. So there you go. Just a holiday. Well, the winter is a bummer in a lot of parts of the world. It's long, long and cold. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh. What about Pittsburgh? That's a long winter. You've never fucking been in Pittsburgh in April? It's terrible. It's still snowing in April. I was thinking more like Arctic places, you know, like the...

Scandinavian places. Misery. Yeah, it gets really cold there. I'm following on TikTok the edge of the earth where people like live at the, what is it? The North pole, you know, these people that live intentionally in the darkest places. It's really fascinating. Cause she's like,

It's the middle of November. We about to lose all of our light during the day and I can't wait. I'm so excited. I'm like, what the fuck are you excited about? Yeah. I stay inside by my fire with my dog. We go for a walk where there's some mild light between noon and 2 p.m. It's dark. They love it. Some people love it. Yeah.

I can't imagine. No, I can't imagine wanting that. I'd be a cool thing to experience for a day or two. Be like, wow, this is like what this is like, you know, but to actually inhabit that, I don't think I want to be a part of that. Well, one time I went to Alaska to do a gig in Anchorage in January. This is when I was really desperate for $500 clearly. And I remember it being 9 a.m. on a Sunday and church bells were ringing and it was just jet black outside. And I had the opposite experience. I went to Anchorage on tour.

And it was midnight and it looked like noon. And that was fucking crazy. You look up and it's just a bright sky. It's midnight right now? This is nuts. But what's more fucked up for a human? Definitely the dark. The dark. Definitely. Because you're just like. Yeah, yeah. And it does play. It takes its toll on people. Of course. I'd be drunk all day. I'm sorry, all night. Solitude and depression. Look outside. It's still dark out. Yeah.

Even when I lived in England for a year, it was dark as shit. It got dark at like 4.30. Man, that's why they drink so much. Because there's only like four hours of daylight. Yeah, it feels like, you know, nighttime. Time to get ripped. Fuck that, dude. I don't want that shit, dog. Nah. Daylight's cool. Here, let's open this show. I got a great clip to show you. Cool. I think you're going to like it. That was randy. Perfect. Don't bring anyone loving this. Isn't that cool?

I like that guy. That's me in Alaska. Is he a TikTok?

He has a page where he just does shit like this. Yeah. This is my scream. This is my... He's a TikToker, as I'm saying. I don't remember if he's a TikToker or not, actually. Is he just a video? I feel like I should know him. Igor. Oh. He's Russian. Yeah, of course. Ruskies. This is what he would do, by the way, to court you, too. Oh, I love it. Yeah. He'd be like, come here. Watch me yell. Do you know...

Yeah. Do you know, I started weightlifting, not to brag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pushed around some weight today. It only, by the way, I mean, if they, I wish there was like a documentary about this for years. I've been like, good for you. And you were like, I don't want to look like some fucking dude. I don't. I don't want to become a lesbo. I don't want to look butch. I don't want to be heavy.

And like, I just felt like it was just more dude culture. I do enough dude, the culture things. Stand up. Stand up. I live with three dicks already, dude. It's like, and you were like, why don't you want to do jujitsu? I'm like, cause I don't want to smell guys assholes in my face. Sometimes they're nice. Sometimes they got nice balls. But I got a lady trainer. Yeah. Anyway, she was telling me how it was invented.

These, uh, the Romanian, what the fuck kettlebell, whatever. When you pull up the kettlebell, Romanian, Romanian deadlifts again. Yeah. Okay.

She said, or whatever, this lifting of heavy objects. She said it's invented because these goddamn weird Ruskies were, you know, taking heavy bags of whatever and taking it off of ships and putting it down or whatever. And she's like, these Russians basically developed a way to squat and use your butt muscles and properly lift things. Pick up and move without hurting your back. Yeah, sorry. I'm delirious. I didn't sleep a lot.

Anyway, I thought that was fascinating. And that makes total sense that the Ruskies invented something like that. Yeah. But more importantly, you're embracing some strength training. There's me. Right. Romanian. Yeah. I'm going to be, I'm going to be so strong. I'm very proud of you. Be a lady of your dreams. I'm proud of you. Thanks. Yeah. I'm going to start doing tea. That's awesome. You know what else I've been begging for years for? Let that leg hair grow. Let that armpit hair grow.

You know what I mean? You love that. So hot. It's so hot. God, it's normal. It's normal. It's healthy. It's normal. Jesus. I feel like the chicks that have that too, especially on TikTok, they have to like make a big deal out of it. Of course. Look at it. Yeah. Bitch, okay. Just live your life. You don't have to fucking announce it. Nobody gives a fuck about you. I promise. You're the one. You're courting the drama. Yeah. Nobody gives a shit, bitch. Nobody gives a shit. Have you ever shaved your armpits? Have I? No, never. Would you try it?

I think if I really pursued swimming. - Feels nice, actually. - Swimmers do that, shave their whole bodies down so they're smooth like dolphins. - Does Michael Phelps shave his whole body? - Yeah, whole body. Absolutely.

Wow. They wear the swim cap, cover it in your hair if they have hair on their heads, and then that's it. No more hair anywhere. Yeah. Does pubes even, you think? I don't know. Your pubes are covered by that skin-tight Speedo. But they have crazy bodies, those swimmers. I know. The upper part is very developed. Yeah.

Well, his swimmer, his body. Yeah, he's like 6'7". Yeah, he's too tall, right, to be a swimmer? No, I think that's actually good. No. Yeah. And he's got like size 16 feet. So it's like, he's got like flippers, you know? It's amazing. He was designed for swimming. What if you had like a really huge dong and your swim coach is like, you got to tape it. You got to tape it up. That's always where your mind goes. The only thing she ever thinks about. I mean...

Well, I don't have one. I got to think about them. Yeah, no, I think about them too. I got dicks on my mind most of the time. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of that, check this out. How old are you? 40. Why did you say you were 35 in the chats? Do you speak English, más o menos?

What did you mean by that? You said that.

That's so great. What did you mean by that? Chris Hansen, right? Chris Hansen, yeah. I like this part. You fucking bitch. So I saw this. Obviously, Chris Hansen was, you know, he hosted To Catch a Predator and he's doing his own

you know, version of that show now, which I wish we had the, do we know the name of it by any chance? What his show is called? Let me pull it up. And by the way, for those of you, if you haven't been listening to YMH very long, Chris Hansen has been on our show. He's been on YMH, yeah. And he's lovely. He's a lovely human. Takedown with Chris Hansen is what it's called now. So that's his new version of it. God bless Chris Hansen. Yeah. He's doing the Lord's work.

Get started with Greenlight today and get your first month free at greenlight.com slash Spotify.

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So, but hearing him say that brought back the memory of a few weeks back when we had the senator reading the story. I put some lube on and got him on his D and I began to slide into him from behind.

I pulled out of him and kissed him while he masturbated. I'm going to throw up. I know. It's like, kind of makes you want to hear them together, you know? I want to suck and kiss all over your pussy until you squirt in my mouth. I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth. What did you mean by that? I'm going to give you the blowjob of your life. This was my ass.

Do you speak English? I'm going to fucking throw up. I could listen to this all day. I know. You said that. It's good stuff, right? I think we can put a video together, too. He asked me to turn over while he slipped a condom on himself.

This was my ass. And I was struggling to imagine someone inside me. What did you mean by that? He got on top and slowly inserted himself into me. It was the worst pain I think I have ever felt in my life.

Eventually, I felt a mix of pleasure with the pain. I got a new strap-on harness today. You know the word. Don't pretend. I can't wait to put it on you.

It will fit my favorite dildo perfectly. Do you speak English? I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth. You said that. I'm going to give you the blowjob of your life. Then I want you inside of me. Como se dice en espanol, I want to suck and kiss all over your pussy until you squirt in my mouth.

There's so much. I don't know what's funnier. Is Chris Hansen speaking total gringo Spanish? Yeah. He's like, como se dice. Como se dice. I'm going to suck and lick on your pussy until you squirt in my mouth. That's how I speak Spanish. How he does.

Or the fact that they're angrily reading pornography. And then what's the best part? The senator is acting offended the entire time. Look at that look right there. He's like. Yeah. And you with your strap on. This thing like over the eyes. And he's like, your cock in my mouth. Everybody hear that? Try your strap on dildos up in my asshole and it hurts. Is that a nice thing to say? Yeah.

Right, he's so scolding of the pornography. Like, shut up, bitch. You know you like it. You know that most of that room is like, just keep reading. Just keep reading. It's so hot. Keep reading. This is the best. Yeah. You want teenagers to read. Yeah. That's how you do it. My strap on. This was my ass. This was my ass. It's so mad about it. Butt fucking me. Enjoying it. I do not enjoy it. Pleasure and pain. Feels good, y'all.

Who talks like that? Oh, it's so great. Oh my God. Oh God. This week, 69 minutes. Oh my gosh. You guys are going to love it. Everybody busted their ass here. We've literally worked on this for four months. Yeah. And it's finally coming out on Friday. We're all going to be watching it.

At the same time, if you're going to watch, we'll be hashtag 69minutes on Twitter, on X, excuse me. And we'll be posting stuff about it everywhere. But we're super stoked. We hope you join us. It'll be on ymatestudios.com.

Get your tickets. And I hope you enjoy it. I hope you laugh your ass off. We laughed so much making this thing. Yeah. And everybody worked really, really hard. So thank you to everyone that participated. Thank you to the whole staff here. And yeah, it's very, very exciting. It's very funny. There's a trailer out. You've probably gotten seen the messages about it. But please join us and let us know what you think. Try it out. Try it out. You're going to like the way you look. I guarantee it. It's so fun. We put so much work into it.

Yeah. It's really better than anything you're going to see. It's great. It's so funny, dude. What is your, I was told your, what is it? Your vacation stuff? You wanted to show me something? Dumb tourism? Oh, fuck.

Bro, listen, I've been so pumped to show this to you. I've been purposely withholding. Yeah, I see a folder, but I haven't read some of it. Bro, homie. So listen, it's this whole lane of TikTok where dumb Americans go to bad places as tourists. And by bad places, I mean any country ending in Stan. Don't fucking go to any Stan. Trust me.

I've been to fucking Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan. I've been there before I went to Afghanistan. It's not a good vacation spot? Yo, all these stands are post-communist dumps. It sucks so bad. They're so dangerous. Let's see. And these retards, hold on, let me tell you what they're planning on doing. Yeah. These fucking cracker dummies are going through like Turkmenistan on their way to Afghanistan.

And this is... Are you retarded? You're gonna die. Okay. I mean, I was like... Let's see. Get the fuck out of here, dude. Do you not have parents? This is my least favorite city in Central Asia. Dushanbe is the capital of Tajikistan. Tajikistan. You will find these poorly photoshopped pictures of the president on and inside every single building. No shit, dummy. Also, I've never seen more flags in my life. Almost every balcony has a Tajik flag. The bazaar was pretty nice, though. It had lots of tea, spices, cheese, and vegetables.

The city itself is fine. It was very hazy during our stay and we found the city did not have much soul or character. But maybe we missed something. If we did, let us know. Sorry, this is a very banal one. This one's just like a palette, sorbet. I like that somebody made a video of like, here's my least favorite place I've been. And they put like some music to it. And it's...

Here's something that sucked. Yeah. It's like, okay, whenever a country highlights the spices, you're like- And the president. There's not a lot going on. I know. But when they're like, his photo's everywhere, that's always a sign that you're in a bad fucking place. Bad place. Yeah. Because when it's mandatory that like, hey, top dog, his photo is everywhere. Yes, dog. That's a problem. It's scary. Like when I was in- It's authoritarian. 100%. That's by orders of the government. Of the guy. Put this fucking picture. Or the sheikh or whoever, in Saudi and all these countries. Yeah.

That's what you see. Put his photo up. And in the stands, that's what you see. It's not good. Here's another one. Not good. This is how we got scammed and had a babushka try to kill us. These taxi drivers swarmed our car as soon as we arrived at the central bus station. These guys are super aggressive for absolutely no reason. We explained to one of the drivers that we needed a ride to the border, not a city or town to the border. And he agreed.

Four hours later, when we got to the city, we were 50 kilometers away from the border, and he told us to get out of his car. We shouldn't have paid him until we got to our destination. We tried to get another shared taxi to the border, and this babushka asked us for money. When we said no, she became angry, started swearing at us, throwing rocks at us, and followed us. Eventually, some locals came and told her to leave. We couldn't get a ride to the border, so we got a hotel room near the bus station. Hopefully, we can get a bus in the morning. You can't.

You're not gonna. It's really interesting that there's just so many different types of people in the world and that this is somebody's idea of a good time. Like, you know what I mean? Like when somebody goes, what's vacation? They're like, I just like to be in dangerous places.

You know, and I like to feel threatened regularly. And we're dumb. Westerners are not welcome. The reason they're, those men are like angry because they don't see people like you. Right. They're fighting over who's going to rob you first. That's why dipshit. It's not, it's not a good place to go. You're rich Americans. Of course, they're going to get you the fuck out of there. Stupid. Yeah.

You fucking idiot. And by the way, it's not a babushka. That's a gypsy, you dummy. Those are gypsies. Don't be retarded. Yeah, that's a gypsy. A roja tigano. This is who we're warning you about. Gitanos de mierda. They're everywhere. This is gypsy. Don't talk to gypsy. That's what they do. Alfangulo, gitano. Yes, they're gypsies, bro. And like, yeah. Listen, the only reason I was in the stands was because I was with the military. Sure. And if I went out into...

Uzbekistan to look at it. It was with like military personnel. Okay. Okay. These two ding dongs. Is there, is there another one? You're going to die. These two retards. Let's go on a road trip to Afghanistan. We refilled our water bottles. Is this the same broad? So this is, this really is what they like to do. It's the same couple and they want to go to Afghanistan. They want to see what's going on in the stands.

Oh, yeah. There's a dirt hill there. Oh, the Hindu Kush Mountains. I believe that's where Bin Laden was hiding for over a decade. Ha ha ha!

That's nice. This is the Wakhan Corridor, and for the next few days, we will be driving along this river. What? The river separates Tajikistan from neighboring Afghanistan. It started getting dark, and we got stuck behind this herd of cows. These roads are no joke during the day and are straight up dangerous at night. Thankfully, we made it to the guest house safe and sound. Follow to see more of the Premier Highway.

This is where the Taliban blows you up too. There's IEDs on that fucking road, dipshit. Taliban also will have a real fun time with a chick that's a Western chick who's like, where are the best views? They're like, we got a place for you. Yeah.

It's really cool. Well, you know, wait, hold on. You mean that the Taliban won't respect her American citizenship? Oh, you're just looking to check things out? Yeah. Wait, you mean these people won't respect your fucking American-ness, you dummy? This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. Um, I think they mean us. Oh, s***. Um...

Only on Peacock.

Do you know what it is for me? It's the arrogance of Americans that think they can just go anywhere and do anything. But don't you get it? This is a really dangerous place, dummy. Well, I know people like her. You do too. I know. Oh, I know. There is this thing. Here's the thing. It's

It's kind of like this appealing, attractive quality in someone until it's not. And it's like, you know what I mean? It's towing the line of, I'm a risk taker. I'm fun. I'm adventurous. I'm not just scared of everything. And you go, oh, that's kind of inspiring. Someone who's not scared of everything. Someone who will seek things out. And you're like, yeah, and it's all great.

until it turns dark too early and you're lost. And then really bad things happen. And then they go, she was really adventurous. She was so adventurous. Yeah, she was so sweet. And then she just, she made one big oopsie and then they disemboweled her on the Premier Highway. The Premier Highway. Google Premier Highway.

Google Pamir Highway. What is this horrible place? I assure you it's not a good place for tourists. No, of course it's not. This is somewhere nobody should be unless you're the goat herder who fucking lives there. Yeah, yeah. These stand countries are awful, okay? I've been to them. I've been to them.

As part of my duty as an American patriot entertaining our U.S. troops, this is the only reason I put myself here. It's the only continuous route through the difficult terrain of the mountains and is the main supply route to Tajikistan. Tajikistan. Who cares? The route has been used for millennia as there are a limited number of viable routes through the high Pamir Mountains. The road formed one link

of the ancient Silk Road trade route, M41, is the Soviet road number, but it only remains as an official designation in post-Soviet Uzbekistan. As confirmed by the Fils-A-Degree, what is that, Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan have passed decrees abolishing Soviet numbering of highways and assigning their own national numbering. These are awful post-Soviet countries. It's the worst places to be.

It can be beautiful. I can see the beauty. I mean, like that is a beautiful shot and that is, I'm sure that would be breathtaking to see in person. I'll just take the photo, but yeah,

Yeah, it's probably also some of the worst things you can imagine are possible on the Pamir Highway, you know, just running into the wrong group. Literally running into a pickup truck. On the only highway that exists there. For the Taliban. For fighting fucking people with machine guns. You're like, what's that in the distance? There's a couple of guys on the back of that truck. I don't know what they're holding. Oh, it looks like it's a .50 caliber machine gun.

- Yeah, here we go. Two American cyclists among four dead in Tajikistan claimed by ISIS. - ISIS. - Yeah. - Yeah. You know, you can take risks in America. - There you go. - There's lots of things to jump off of. - That's what I'm saying. There's not gonna be a final video from that couple. - Not. - You're gonna be like, how can they stop posting? Where did they go? Oh, they wanted to see North Korea.

I mean. They're definitely going there next. Of course. Of course. There has to be a whole industry devoted to people. Hey, guys. This city is not exactly as inspiring as we had hoped for. It's very gray. And there's a lot of pictures of this short, chubby guy everywhere. But anyway, the food's all right. And it gets dark. And there's people tailing us, kind of going everywhere we go and telling us that we don't have much time left. We'll see how it goes next time.

No more videos. Yeah. Pyongyang is surprisingly quiet. Yeah. There's not that much electricity, but it's cool. There's nothing to see guys. I guarantee there's nothing to see in these countries. Don't go to these places. I guess this is just all for the whole thing to go like, don't do it. Oh, you won't believe where I've been. I think that's kind of like what this is for. Right. Like it's like when somebody does an extreme thing, like,

climbs Everest and you're like no shit it's like that same reaction like I was in Afghanistan on chilling on the yeah yeah but you're there for it's really different this is a I took a vacation is different I think that's what it is without proper protection and provisions these things are not for lay people to do you know what I mean just what why do you gotta why do you gotta I don't know I prefer just

You know, let's just get into the Christmas spirit. I mean, I'll stick my dick in pudding. I'll stick my dick in pudding. I'm dreaming. Also, why pussy? Oh, OK. Wrap around my big black dick. Love him. Love him. I love the holidays. Me too. Holidays are where it's at. Why can't I be related to this guy? Yeah, I know. Right. Fine.

That's a good one. Yeah. I'll stick my dick in pudding.

I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth. Hey, have they canceled Santa Baby yet as a song? Is that considered gross yet? I always thought it was weird to fuck Santa. I think so. I think they've done like new versions of a lot of those like non-PC Christmas songs. Can we see them? I'm curious. What's that? So there was that song Santa Baby, which was basically like, I'm going to fuck you, Santa, if you give me presents. It was so gross. I always thought it was off. Wasn't it cold outside of Badminton? That's a

Maybe it's cold outside. That's like, yeah. I really must go. And he's like, no, no, stay here. Stay here. It's too snowy out there. I have a drink and I have a fire. Why don't you shut the fuck up while you're at it? Yeah. I think that's the person that cut this one. Yeah. You fucking stupid bitch. And then she's like, uh.

That's the end of it. And then he's like, and then you just hear this tear and then he just goes, get the fuck out of here. He throws her out. She's like, it's freezing out here. That's the version we should record. And you hear the door shut and the lock. Is it too late to add that? No, you can still add it. 69 minutes. Yeah. It's a good closer. Yeah. Oh yeah, it might be. A little jingle. Oh yeah, here we go. These are the new lyrics for Baby It's Cold Outside. Oh, they have new lyrics? Yes. They've like rewritten it. Not as good. Yeah. Let's see. Can you make it bigger? Yeah, we're...

I wonder what they change though. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'll tell you what they change. Cause I know there's, so it's, I really can't stay. Maybe it's cold. I'd say I've got to go away, but I can call you a ride. That's added. That used to be, Hey bitch, stay here. It's cold. Too cold. Yeah.

He's convincing her like you can't go out there. This evening has been, I'm so glad that you dropped in. I don't know if that's whatever. So very nice time spent with you is paradise. That's not in the original, right? I don't know. My mom will start to worry. I'll call the car. Can you pull up the original lyrics next to it? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Okay. I can't fucking see. Put your dad eyes on. Oh my God.

I really can't stay. Okay, that's good. I've got to go away. And so he says, but baby, it's cold outside. Time Stanley is paradise. It used to say, I'll hold your hands. They're just like ice. So he's warming you up. He's touching her already. My mom will start to worry. Beautiful. What's your hurry? So he's already like, come on, baby. What are you uptight, you stupid bitch? And now it says, I'll call the car and tell him to hurry. So he's like, Uber's on the way. Sure.

My daddy will be, hold on. My father will be pacing the floor, listening to the fireplace roar. He's trying to distract. Distract you. And now it's, my daddy will be pacing the floor. Wait, what are you still living home for? Okay. So it's like now he's at least addressing what you're saying. She's a loser. As opposed to distracting you. Yeah. So it used to say, so really I'd better scurry. Beautiful, please don't hurry. And now it says,

Your driver, his name is Murray. Oh, he's telling you, you can confirm when he gets here. Ask him his name and also his license plate number is LCX1241. This is an ad for Uber. Yeah.

The neighbors, okay, hold on. Maybe just a half a drink more. Put some records on while I pour. So he's still getting her. So now she's turning around and going, maybe just a half a drink more. Oh, we're both adults. So who's keeping score is the new one. That's stupid. It's consensual. The neighbors might think, baby, it's bad out there. That's the original one. And now it's, what will my friends think? I think they should rejoice. God, this is so gay. Yeah.

It's gay. It's retarded. Oh, my God. All right. The next line. Hold on. The next line is, say what's in this drink. No cabs to be had out there. So he's just like. He's like ignoring it. Yeah. And now it says, if I have one more drink and then it's your body and your choice. I wish I knew how your eyes are like starlight now.

and now it's oh you really know yeah they kept that to break this spell i'll take your hat your hair looks swell um now it's to cast a spell one look and you and i fell okay i had to say no no no sir mind if i have mind if i move in closer

And then it says, I ought to say no, no, no, sir. Then you really ought to go, go, go. The original is, I ought to say no, no, no, sir. And he says, mind if I move in closer? So he's asking her consent. So it's not originally, I don't know. Now it says, I ought to say no, no, no, sir. And then you really ought to go, go, go. So why don't...

Yeah. Well, what a fun era for courtship. At least I'm going to say that I tried. What's the sin of hurting my pride? Oh, now it's at least I'm going to say that I tried. Well, Murray, he just pulled up outside. Your Persian driver's here.

To take you on the Pajamere Highway. The electric car, no more in heavy amounts. There's an Armo sitting out front. It smells like cigarettes. Hope you take one of his mints.

I really can't stay. Oh, baby, don't hold out. Now it's, I really can't stay. I understand, baby. It's so fucking stupid. God damn, this is dumb. Super. It's so dumb. Wait, my favorite line is so on the nose. Like, look, I get it. That song was kind of, I get it.

But my favorite one is Your Body, Your Choice. This is so political. Shut up. And then... I mean, in the end of the original, how does it end? Baby, it's cold. They decide to fuck. They decide, yeah. Yeah, they fuck. She stays. And now...

It's baby, just go. It's cold, baby, it's cold. But ooh, I don't want to go. Okay, so she agrees to stay. So she still fucks, but there's just tons of consent. He's like, no, I really want you. You really should go if you don't want to stay. What about fucking Murray? He's got to pay the cancel fee. I'm going to have to pay the surcharge. Your question is, did he get her a black car or just the share ride? Yeah, I know. He's like, it's a lift. And she's like, that's disrespectful. Yeah.

Oh, Jesus. I think after the first round, I realized that she was a lot tougher than I was expecting. Although I expected her to be tough, I just expected her to show a bit more tiredness. It didn't go the way I wanted, but I was still happy that I went all the five rounds. Even if it didn't look like it, I enjoyed the whole process and I enjoyed being in the ring and challenging myself. If I could fight Britt again, I think what I'd do is, although I fought the way I like to fight, I'd backtrack.

off a little bit more than maybe I should have and I probably tried to do other things I wouldn't normally do holy shit well that's bare knuckle will you pull up Melanie Shaw M-E-L-A so we can see what she looks like when she's not battered I want to be friends with this girl she's awesome I don't think so fighter yeah there you go

Damn, dude. But what does she look like? That girl fucked her up. Oh, yeah. She's pretty. Melanie. That face is crazy, right? What happened to her? Look at the one flexing there. I know. That's what she looks like. That's going to be me after I do my weightlifting. Dude, look at the two. I know. Fucking A. She got fucking wrecked.

Oh, it says disfigured with teeth knocked out. Her teeth got knocked out. Teeth, bro. Well, bare knuckle is fucking insane. I mean, look at her knuckles right there, the holding the mic. Yeah. You see those? Those are totally swollen right after. Yeah. Her face is completely fucking destroyed. This reminds me of public school. You can get into fights and see chicks everywhere. That's public school, huh? In L.A. Goddamn. Yeah, dog. These bitches are real.

See, can I tell you something? This stupid bitch that's backpacking through Tajikistan. Yeah. She's never been in a fight before. No, that's something she should sign up for. That's what I'm saying. You want a dangerous thing? You want to experience something? Yeah, go find it.

Do that. These chicks have never been hit. They've never been in a fight. That's why they do shit like going to fucking Kazakhstan and Kubekistan and Kakastan. Yeah. Shit. These dummies don't know that violence exists in the world. I know, right? Unreal. They're putting themselves there. It's crazy, dude. Did we, by the way, cover what a great guy I am? Sure. That I was at the airport a few weeks ago, found a purse on the ground.

That was a horrible lead in. Like, did we cover it with a great cut? Well, I was just thinking about it. Like, I just don't feel like I was kind of celebrated enough. You want to be celebrated. Yeah. You want me to bake you a cake? I kind of do. Yeah.

I mean, do you realize how inconvenienced I was? Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. I mean, I pull up to JFK. It's a bad airport. I get out and on the ground underneath the vehicle that's dropping me off, I see a strap and I pick it up. And as I start, I realized it's a purse and the strap is detached. One of the curbside,

guys reaching. He's like, I'll take that. I go get the fuck out of here. So I was like, no. And then trust him. He didn't look trustworthy. I mean, I'm like, Oh, Oh, you will. Oh, okay. Like, like he's the lost and found. Well, cause if that had happened in like Ohio, I'd be like, I trust that guy, but it's JFK. No, I wouldn't. I would, I never trust anybody who goes, I'll take it. Yeah. I have a zero trust policy on that. Okay. So I was just like, I got it. Um,

And then I walk inside and he follows me inside. No. Yeah. Because I was taking my bags. You know, I had my roller and I had my backpack and my coat. And then I have this additional purse. And I walk in and I unzip it because I want to see like what the contents, you know, looking for an ID. I turn over my shoulder. He's followed me inside. Almost like, are we going to chop this up? Like, what's going on? You know, I was like. So I take out the ID. I get the idea. I'm like, all right. First of all, this person.

Like they lost their ID and their purse outside the airport. And this is departure. So there's no way they're through because they can't get through. So I'm like, all right, what should I do? So I take a photo of her ID and then I do a post on Instagram. And I'm like, you know, I just tell the story. And then here's the ID of this person. Here's their name. Well, you know, I also have to go in myself. Like, so I put the purse in my, unzip my bag, stuff it in there, go through security, unzip

go towards my gate i go to the lounge and when i'm at the lounge i open my phone up and i of course i'm bombarded with like joke comments they're like it's my purse give it to me and all you know like hundreds of people writing this shit the mommies can find anybody oh yeah but then they find her right away of course and then she messages me and she's like hey it's my purse and i look at the name oh my god this is her and she's like can you uh

can you come outside of security so I can, cause I miss my flight. And I'm like, fuck. Cause I had to, you know, I had to do all the security go through. So now you're going to inconvenience you. Yeah. But I'm like, yeah, I go. Yeah. Okay. So I grabbed my stuff and I start heading towards the, um, to leave the lounge. And I just look again and she's like, actually my friend is through, she'll come get it from you. And I go, I'm like, what's your friend's name? She tells me the friend's name.

and then as i'm leaving the lounge i this lady's like are you tom do you have i go yeah i confirm her name and she's like yeah dude this is crazy so i go here's the you know and she's like yeah we're gonna try to make our flight and i figure that's that i'm like okay so now i sit back down so you know i've handed it over i sit back down and i'm like okay now i have like 20 or 30 minutes before i need to leave the lounge to catch my flight

So I'm sitting there and then when it's finally time for me to leave the lounge, I'm rolling my bag to the escalator and who's coming up? It's the lady. No. Yes. So I run into her and she's like, fuck it. She goes, we missed my flight, but they put us on another flight. So we have another flight. We're just going to hang out. And she was super thankful. So nice. And no, it was just like a cool moment, you know, that she was able to get her stuff and then get on her flight. Was she hot? Yeah.

Did she let you squeeze her tits at least? This is not. Well, let's say thank you. Nice lady, respectful lady, nothing like that. How old is she? I don't know. 30s, 40s? I don't remember. Well, that was very nice of you. Yeah, I know. All right, I understand. What's kind of disappointing is to get back from something like that and to come into this office and not see like,

Banners, balloons, cupcakes. You know what I mean? Like...

You're the best. Like that kind of stuff. Celebrating the gesture. I mean, like the point of doing... No, the point is, it's not... I don't want to have to ask for it. You guys should know to do that. Now it looks like... That's on us. Yeah, now I have to be like, oh, where's my... How come I'm not being honored? Right. We're the jerks somehow in this situation. Well, I mean, I hate to have to point it out, but it's like... Now, by the way, don't even think about doing it now. Now it'll mean nothing at all.

I'll throw the cake in your face. But the next time I do something like that, which will happen again because I'm that type of person, you guys need to step up as a whole staff, I'm saying. Yeah. And reward you. Well. You want cupcakes, balloons, banners. I would put photos of me up. And yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. There's photos of you already. No different ones. Different studio. Different ones. You recycle our cans in your mouth. Different. It needs to be like you glorified everywhere. It's not enough. Shaking Brad Pitt. It's not enough. It should be like a more like a like a I know headshot kind of thing like you know I mean like a hand on the and then like this. Yeah. And then it should be like

you know, a banner. - Like the leaders of Turkmenistan. - Well, I mean, I hate to ask for it. I hate to ask for it. I just feel like if you guys had any sense to you, that would already be happening and there should be a cake

you know, who's a better person than, you know what I mean? I know. I agree with you. When you have, when you do a good deed, especially when it minorly inconveniences you, you want to be celebrated. I agree, dude. Cause most people will be like, yeah, who cares about that bitch? You know what I mean? And then you just go on with your life. But that was nice of you. So the strap broke on her purse? I guess I just, you know, it's the kind of guy you get. I just kind of did what I think anybody would do. I don't want, I don't want all this like,

attention for it I understand yeah that was really good Tom oh don't even mention it yeah I just did what I what I hoped somebody would do for me proud of you yeah okay let's why don't we take a don't make that face no no rotten face

Let's take a quick break and we'll see what kindness I come up with during our break. We are back and we are always excited to welcome back this guest who has a new album out right now called Ram. Give it up.

for Wheeler Walker Jr., everybody. Thank you so much, guys. Thank you. I do appreciate it. Good to see you guys. It's always good to see you. Thanks for coming in. Just for people that don't know, how many albums is this now? Four? That's the fifth one. Fifth album. I think it's time to wind it down. What do you guys think? Wind it down? What? I just feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm...

It's all about exiting at the right time. Yeah. You know, and I got a, I got my favorite artist kind of knew when to tap out, call it a day. I don't think it's going to be like tomorrow, but what's all Wheeler going to do after this? That is what I'm discussing right now. I don't know, but I feel like I'm like ready to just chill. You chill in the mountains. Yeah. Like that kind of thing. I kind of want to, you know, we were just in Florida recently. I was like, I could just sit on this beach for like,

20 years. And I mean, I probably don't even have 20 years in me, but. Sure. But I get that. We were talking about where to peace out from, like, where would you go? Where's the ultimate? What was your answer? Europe. You think so? Western Europe. Western Europe. Like where? Give me an example. Could be like Portugal, Spain, Italy. Italy. See, I need them to, I need, I need people speaking English. England. England, which just seems clad. It's cold. It's cold.

The beach in Florida sounds good to me. It's a way easier place to get to. Yeah. Again, they speak redneck and they know what they're talking about. And you can actually, you could fucking get a nice spot. You know, you really could depending on the real estate. Yeah, I don't think it's that crazy there. I mean, it's not, Europe is probably super crazy, right? But just, it's always geographic, right? So it just depends on where you want that spot to be. Like in Florida, it's,

I can point you to extremely expensive real estate on the beach. Sure, yeah. I mean, that's kind of like everywhere. Yeah. You could live in a kind of shittier place or you can live in LeBron's old house. Exactly. Exactly. What is Austin? Austin's gotten as crazy as Nashville, right? It peaked. It got real crazy. But that was actually a while. It's come back down to reality a little bit, yeah. Maybe...

Maybe I should come over here. That's a great idea. Oh, I think you should. Nashville is fucking, Nashville's getting all my fucking nerves. This city would love to have you. What's wrong with Nashville? Yeah, what's going on there? It's just, it's turned into fucking redneck Disneyland. It's just, it's just fucking Jason Aldean's bar kid rocks. It's just people. Yeah. And the airport's just full of, you know, can I be rude? Yeah. Bitches in cowboy hats and fuck. What are those shoes that like are pre-dirty? You know what I'm talking about? Greg, the golden goose. I, I,

those shoes too. Yeah, just like the settlers, right? The cowboy, the cowgirl hat and fucking golden goose. Get the fuck out of here. Like making their reservations for Kid Rock's bar. I always feel like so many girls that wear just their cowgirl boots though, they look like kids. You look gay like you're wearing mommy's shoes. You look like, because they're oversized. And they can't really balance right now. Yeah, they look too big. And you know what really struck me about Nashville last time I was there? The drunk girl culture around

Sorry, the bachelorette party culture in that downtown. It's like... And the thing that really baffled me are these... The buses that you pedal while you get drunk. Oh, the fucking pedal taverns. And I'm like, why? Every time I'm near downtown, I'm like, I'm going to smash into this fucking thing. Well, why would you want to exercise while you're getting ripped? Because it's the cool fucking dumb bitch thing to do.

It's such a dumb bitch. It is a dumb bitch move. It sucks. And you drive by some of them and they, all the, they're so hammered that they're like, yeah, they just scream at you. And you're like, I'm about to get thrown up on. And yeah, when I, when I got done, I think they're recognizing me. I'm like, oh fuck, here come, babe, look out. There's my fans. They're just, they're just yelling because I have a car. Yeah. They're drunk. Yeah. Drunks are the worst. Sounds like you have a thing against, what's his name? You mentioned,

well kid rock i don't know i'm just saying it's just the first bar that comes to mind okay have you met him before yeah i toured with him i know him okay he's a good i got nothing against kid rock okay um uh oh yeah garth just opened a bar there yeah yeah yeah it was that was you know that was big news in nashville because by the way i've seen it it hasn't opened yet yeah i think but it's god damn this thing is huge is it huge it's it's fucking takes up like i was like a stadium bar it's like it looks like

Yeah, it's fucking it. But look at, but when, what do you think that real estate costs? I mean, if you think of lower Broadway is probably the hottest real estate in the South and he owns that fucking thing. Yeah. Man. Isn't it like right next to a police station or something? Cause he keeps, he keeps doing this thing where he posts him with the cops. Oh,

Oh, that's right. I meant to bring up, since the last time I've seen you, we now know he knows who you are, right? Yeah, for sure. I didn't know about that. That's a new thing. Yeah, that's really exciting. So he's been laughing at you? He's been laughing at me. He blocked all of us. Really? Yeah, and then he turned off his comments, like just shut down comments on his social media. Sometimes he opens them back up, but a lot of times they're off now. So what was the story I heard that he was laughing? So I happen to meet, I'm trying to be, you know, I don't want to give away anything.

the exact details of this. But what I can tell you is somebody who knows him quite well is somebody I ran into. And it came up. No, but it's somebody who. Would that be funny if Brad Pitt and Edgard Brooks hung out? That would be actually hilarious. But this person goes, I was like, it came up because he's so well connected to him.

And I was like, he came to my show and I was, you know, I brought it up and, and as we're talking about it, I'm like, does he know? And he's like, yeah, of course he knows. And I asked like, how does he take it? He goes, he's confused by it. Doesn't get it. Like doesn't get it at all. Doesn't know why people are doing this.

And then that, sorry. So that was the first time I saw this person. And then a few months went by and I guess, cause the other thing is like, that's one of those things that actually, even though we encouraged it at one point, it took off on it. Like totally. Yeah. People kind of got the formula for it. And I used to see my, my, I used to see my clips of me with you talking about Garth and like, look at this. And I was like, what do I have to do with Garth? I mean, but also like, I'll, we won't bring up his name now for like months. It doesn't matter. That thing has taken off on its own. Yeah.

So the next time I ran into this dude, I guess he had turned a little bit from like, I'm confused by this to like, Hey, I don't like this shit that this guy is doing. Found out who I was. And he said that Garth, when people bring it up to him, shows them the video of me breaking my arm and like falling, trying to dunk. And he goes, karma.

Oh, that's fucking awesome. I think that's so fucking cool. It is cool. Yeah. Just that he knows who you are. Well, Ann Wheeler, it made it into the National Enquirer. That is crazy. That's pretty exciting. No, it's legitimately in the National Enquirer that Garth is... That's what the story says, that he is fuming mad at us. But this thing, you know... Pretty cool. This thing got enough legs on its own now where sometimes...

I'll see somebody will tag me in the comments of something and it'll be a complete, like something not comedy related radio show or, or like some other podcast where it's like I said, not comics. And someone will be like,

you know about this garth brooks thing and people go like what and they're like there's like a legit theory that he's a serial killer and you see people go what the you know what's weird not to interrupt but like i so i do this vip thing before my shows and i'll you know where like 50 fans will come in and pay like way too much money to see me like talk and sing acoustic songs and i'll hear these people scream like where are the bodies

And I asked him one time, I asked, I go, what the fuck are you talking about? They're like, you know, Tom's thing. And I'm like, I know Tom. I don't know what this is. He goes, uh, the whole, and he, they, this, they explained it to me at the show. It's like, they, they, they come up to me. I don't even, that's hilarious. Yeah. It's like, they're just, they want it. They want more of it. You know, like I think the thing that, you know, we've talked about things like this,

How the easiest way out of this whole thing, like if you're him and you're desperately like, I want this to end, is just to do like one post, one comment, with a wink. You can literally be like,

hey, don't open that up. All the bodies are in there. And it's like the whole thing. If he did one thing that he was in on the joke, it would be no more fun. And they flip them. And they flip. They all would be like. That's no fun anymore. Yeah. Or they'll be like, you're the best. They end up going like, that's so cool that you entertained the joke. I wonder if it got big enough that, well, he's probably so big that, I wonder if it got big enough that he heard somebody yell or something. Oh, he knows. We sent our guys out. He was on the Jumbo Train. Yeah.

What now? Zolo was on the Jumbotron in Houston at the stadium show. And he held up a, like, we love you Garth sign. And then he dropped it. Oh, my God.

and underneath it it said where are the bodies G and it's on the fucking jumbotron is there any like YouTube footage yeah oh yeah he's pulling it up right now I want to see can I tell you my Josh story so usually I play so when I play a show and if the hotel's close enough I'll take off my cowboy hat and my shades and no one recognizes me and I'll put on like a hoodie and walk back to my hotel when I played the moody and I heard this you know Wheeler

I was like, oh, fuck. Here comes a crazy fan. I walk. And it was fucking Josh. Yeah. Telling me good show. Oh, nice. Joshy. It's a good thing I saw his face. I was about to fucking throw a punch. Well, you know what's interesting is, oh, here it is. Look, there's. There he is. That's him. That's Josh. Where are the bodies, G? And it's on like the, you know, there's like 80,000 people there. And it made it onto the Jumbotron and then they cut a wave.

Well, the craziest thing about Garth is he was the biggest guy in music when music was the biggest. Back when there were, I think CDs were probably, what, seven? Remember how they were fucking 17 bucks? Oh, yeah. And he was selling millions in a fucking day. By the way, only guy, I think the only guy in your business that's still like, hey, we got a new CD DVD set coming out. Yeah, and he's, well, the new one's like exclusively a Bass Pro Show. Here it is. This is like at the concert.

Oh, do they break into this? Oh, he's about to smash his guitar. We love you, Garth. That's pretty good. Where are the bodies, G? And then they cut right in. They're like, nope. Was it enough time for the audience to react? I think enough people there probably, because we got tagged a million times that night. Yeah, people knew. Yeah.

You know, a million years ago, Tom spent hours taking the Miami Sound Machine song. He spent hours layering farts into that song. With the horns. So like, dun, dun, dun. I'll go. Oh, you have farting in real time? Well, I just had like a bunch of fart noises. And also like.

This would obviously be an easier thing for someone proficient with it. Like I had no experience. So I'm like on GarageBand and it's like, and I wanted to take different farts. So there's some variety, not the same. I mean, it was a masterpiece. You know, and then there's that part where the horns go like, so, and I had to do like a fart with every horn and you put it out on the podcast and

And then we were like, this is a long time ago. This is like Twitter was new. Please somebody, please tag Gloria as much as we can. Gloria Stefan.

To talk about this, right? Yeah. So she wanted a new version out? Well, I wanted her... Like the Segura remix? Yeah, yeah. We wanted her to acknowledge this totally disrespecting the song. Can you imagine her going up to the boys like, your band name has changed. You're the Miami Fart Machine now. And we got this guy up here. He's going to fart over it. And I'm like, fellas, come on then. So...

We just did. And it's like, every day we would go on Twitter and we'd be like, we'd see how many times we were tagged. Like, look, a hundred people are fucking tagging this or more or whatever. And retweets and retweets. And then one day she responds. And we're like, can we set up a phone call? And they're like, yes. And then we get a number, we call. And like, we get to talk to...

her and Emilio Estefan about farting on their song did a full interview about how she wrote the song then I was like if we tour together like what kind of door deal will we split because I'm going to be farting a lot while you sing and it was just like but the fun thing was that like she did the thing where she embraced such a good sport and everybody was like oh my god she's the best but back to your point we don't hear about it anymore because she had fun with it she had fun with it and I mean back in the day this is like we were still doing this

this podcast out of our home. We weren't, we weren't. Yeah. I was probably there smelling those farts. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. But to this day, she's still somebody we love and like we stay at her hotel even. And we just, you know, she probably cut that out. How loaded is she? So much. Yeah. She's very rich. She probably took all that early sound machine money. And also it's like, it's the combination of her with all those, all the songs and royalties and all that. I mean, look at the fucking,

That's the net worth of... Jesus Christ. I was going to say the combination of the two, right? Because he produced a bunch of stuff. What the fuck am I doing wrong? That's a lot of money. What else is Gloria... I mean, she's got the hotel business. But who's her husband? I don't know who her husband is. Emilio Estefan. So I think he produced a lot of their stuff back then. Right? Does he have a few of that drop-down, that first one? How did Gloria get so rich? It just has them coming. Doesn't he look like Tim Allen?

That shot does. Yeah, do an Emilio. Oh, there it is. Hit his wiki. Because his background, I feel like, is in producing, if I'm not wrong. 700 millis. Goddamn. He was a member of the Miami. Yeah. Oh, so he went from the horn player to the... Why don't I produce that? But it looks like, I think he wrote songs, too. He's actually a real... Yeah, he was said as BMI Songwriter of the Year. Yeah, he's a real talent, this guy.

But you had a good call with them? Fantastic. And scroll down to their business interests because, okay, he's a producer. He also produced other people, it looks like. Jennifer Lopez, Mickey Martin, he produced various events, shows. Scroll a little more. Here we go. So they own businesses, restaurants, restaurants.

Miami Beach. He's got a restaurant in Disney World. Yeah. Awesome. Jesus Christ. A couple hotels. Hotels. And also their daughter. Minor ownership in the fucking Dolphins. Yeah. Wow. Their daughter's really talented too. I just found her on TikTok. She plays the drums and sings. These billionaire kids are always talented. Yeah. With the

I could be talented if I grew up in a billionaire's house. Yeah. No shit. Just focus on that one. Emily Marie Consuelo Estefan. She turned 30 million into 100 million? Dude, this girl, Emily Estefan, she's on TikTok. She's really fucking talented. Look at her. She plays the drums like her mom did. Like, you know, them fucking Latin drums or whatnot. She can sing. She's really something. It's cool. Very cool. What? What?

I didn't know this was such a powerhouse sound. I don't know what to call it. They go like so fast, like the Cuban shit. Yeah, but he can fart. Yeah. I'll fart all over your drums. Talent. We'll see who people remember. Real talent. Yeah, she's something. By the way, I wanted to read your track list from the new album, Man. Side A, if you get the vinyl. Born to Fuck, Money and Bitches, Dump Truck, Sniffers Row, Skanks for Nothin',

Puddin', Finger Blast, Fuck This Job, Who the Fuck, and Credit Card. Wow, that sounds beautiful. That is really nice. Do you know what Sniffer's Row is? No. No, could you tell me? Sniffer's Row is the front row of the strip club. Wow. Where you can smell the pussy. Wow. That's cool. We were just talking about pussy sniffing and smells. How many, well, have you had a lot of stinky ones? You know, I probably...

I always, I don't really, first of all, my wife is in the lobby, but second of all. Oh, hello, Mrs. Walker. You know that I'm married to him, right? Yeah, I know. He doesn't seem to care. I'm just saying it's like. No respect. I'm trying to, like, no one whose balls smell worse than mine. Right. That's what he was saying. That's what I said too, yeah. I mean, can you. I mean, balls, sometimes you go to pee. You don't know this. Sometimes you go to pee and when you, before you pee, you're like.

Ooh, my balls. Like you can smell your own balls. That happened to me at the airport the other day. I whipped it out to piss. I was like, Jesus Christ, what's that smell? It was the space between my sack and my taint. Yeah. And it just wafts up to you. Yeah.

I was like, you got to deal with this. Well, and you know, it's really interesting. Female hygiene is so different than male hygiene. For instance, after I work out, immediately I take off whatever I'm wearing and I shower. Otherwise, no bueno. No.

This guy right here, hours later, the evening comes around. He worked out at 7 a.m. Hey, I'm going to go take a shower now, he says. I'm like, you've been sitting in your stink all day long. This has no effect on your testicles or penis? Sometimes I work out in like a sweaty, gnarly workout, then come here, podcast, then go home. I'm going to throw up listening to this. And then I shower. Sometimes the biggest thing I'll do is I'll change underwear.

Yeah. I put my sweaty balls into clean underwear. Well, that's even nice. Thicken that, like, that chain. It doesn't clean them. That's for sure. Have you considered that? I mean, that's not a bad option. I've done it. I like to, you know, ferment. Right. Try to give you a gift. I feel like too, because I like to shower before I go to

bed. I like that too. I feel like two showers a day is like the definition of losing because I don't have time. It's just like that's too much. I do enjoy an end of day shower the most. Yeah. Because I feel like if I don't all the I see so many. Remember during by the way side note during COVID they're like man this is the end of handshaking. Yeah. Bullshit. Everyone's fucking shaking my hand. I don't want that shit in my fucking bed. Well and in the South I feel like handshaking never went away even during COVID like we came out here to look at houses like we

when we were buying. Everybody's like, how you doing? I'm like, there's a pandemic. That was my favorite when they were in the mask shaking your hands. Like, this doesn't really help. I know. All right, Wheeler, is this horrible or hilarious? I'll show you a video. Okay. You tell me if it's funny or just sad. Well, if I had a third choice, it'd be confusing. But...

I guess if it's confusing, I would put sad. Yeah, kind of sad. Is he trying to jump over all his friends? I guess he was trying to jump over all his friends, then none of them looked at the fact that there's a ceiling beam that's pretty low. That's pretty low. Oh, fuck, I didn't even get you that bit. He's fucked up. I didn't see that. Yeah, it's definitely sad. Yeah. Because I was just like, he's got that many friends who want to just lay down on the ground. Yeah, I know.

I didn't like that at all. Well, hopefully this next one makes us all giggle. Here we go. I don't want kids getting hurt. I think I know where this is going. Yeah. Oh. We know the answer to that. Are these teenagers? Yeah. No. He's hurt. It hurts. But he's going to recover. Okay. You know, sometimes we see one of these videos and we're like, well, that guy's dead. You know? This is not that. Yeah, but do you think... Sometimes balls don't recover, you know? That's true. Yeah, they can rupture them. That looks like something that may... He may not have kids. I don't know if that's a bad thing, but...

Yeah, that definitely stung. Yeah, can we go to the next one, please? I don't like it either. Okay. I think his voice saved it. Yeah.

I'm going to go back upstairs, Debbie, and just be in private, okay? That's funny. That was pretty great. Poor guy. He's upset. He's humiliated.

He was pretty great. If you're listening, his dog ran out and then he fell off the stairs out front. And well, you can kind of hear the rest. He's like, get the dog, Debbie. If you want to be alone, you're pissed. Yeah. It's good to have the awareness. Yeah. Like I need alone time now. I will say that too. He was like, you know what? I'm going to yell at you, but instead I'm going to go take a couple deep breaths.

We've been like totally. Have you heard about this guy, Kevin Leonardo? No. So this dude, we couldn't believe that this was on YouTube.

And it's on YouTube. And it was like, you know, there's things that make their way to like Instagram or YouTube, but it's like, Hey, you better watch this before it gets taken down. Like you can just tell like this has a clock running. I feel like they're not taking much shit down. No. Well, this one, just so you know, is not a joke. This is on YouTube. It has tens of millions of views and it's not coming down. Like, and we checked and they're like, Oh yeah, yeah, no, this is fine.

For reference, this is how hairy my butt is right now. Alright, so step one is to squeeze this cream onto your hand. So I'm going to be doing just that. Oh my god. Alright, now it says to apply a thick, even layer to cover hair. Do not rub it in. So let's do that. Alright, so this is how to remove hair from your asshole with Nair. And it's considered...

I was going to say, maybe he said it was instructive. Yeah, it's instructive. And it sure as hell is teaching me. And YouTube contacted, like we asked, and they're like, yeah, this falls under these guidelines. So you reported. We didn't report. We just go, because like we go, can we show this? Because we noticed that it's up and it has 40 something million views.

And they were like, yeah, there's art, there's documentary, and there's education. And if YouTube deems it in this category, it doesn't...

fall under the same guidelines and rules as something that isn't. Can I tell you one too that I don't know why it's still up? So I did this song Puss in Boots. I don't know if you remember. We did a nude version and a regular version. We did one where the girls' titties were hanging out. Then we did the clean version. The dirty version is still fucking up. And no one knows. I don't know why. On YouTube? Yeah. And hopefully this doesn't tag you. Oh, it has 15 million views. Yeah, but it just has naked tits.

And they're totally fine with it. Yeah. Wow. I don't, I think it just got, they missed it. Really? Yeah. And this, is this the dirty version? Oh yeah. There's just tits. There's tits. And there's nothing instructional about it, but please YouTube to keep it up. Maybe it falls under art. I mean, it is art. It's a music video. It is art. You're an artist. And then we got the body double. I think the director just like searched for like porn actors or something. Her tits were cool. I saw that. Both of them.

Just in case you were wondering. This is how my butt looks pre rinse and pre shower and post hair removal cream I'm going to take a shower and clean the area and come back and show you what the results are

All right, guys, I'm back from my shower. I did my nighttime skincare. This is how my butt looks post-shower, post-rinse, and post-hair removal cream. Well, I mean, if I don't show... That's great. If Wheeler... And he just winked his asshole, by the way. He just flexed his asshole at us. Yeah, he knows what he's doing. That's why it bothers me. He's very self-aware. He knows what he's doing. Well, how does Nair work? It burns the hair off of your skin. It just burns it off.

I'm chemically burned. He's been posting wild shit. No, I know. So I found...

men that I currently want to sleep with. I don't agree with like all of his political opinions, but I think Ben Shapiro is actually like low-key really cute. Especially those old thirst traps that people like post of him. I also love Jews and I love like the little hat that he always like wears. Like the Jewish hat. It's like so cute. He also seems really passionate about the stuff that he talks about and I love passionate men. I love Joey Santanago and like all of his like podcast clips. He's the host of the Backyard Basement podcast and he and his friend Frank are so funny. I love them so much. Franky is cute too, but I feel like Joey is more like my type and I would 1000% bang Joey. He's so cute and he's so funny.

So cool. He's like Tom Cigarato. I didn't know I liked Matt Rife until like a week ago. He seems so like funny and like down to earth and he just generally seems like a good funny guy. He's also like very objectively good looking but like his personality like makes him like very attractive. I don't know him but like I'm also really proud of like his success. We all know that I want to smell Josh's smelly socks so I'm not going to like delve too deeply into this one. Okay, you get the point. Yeah, there's a bunch of guys who if you want a guy with no hair on his ass you got a you got a guy. You got a guy, man.

a crusty sucked my micro when i was six years old without my consent and whenever i share that story there's always some people that go like oh my gosh like that's the only reason why you're gay like that's how gay people like reproduce like old crusty like little kids and that's how gayness like exists and like continues i have a few things i don't know why is this sped up

That's just how he posted it. He posted it like this? Oh, no. It's terrible. It's so weird. It's unwatchable. So he's talking about somebody sucking him off when he was six? That's terrible. Jesus fucking Christ, man. You don't want child rape sped up. No. No. I think you could take your time off. And this is so fucking weird. I love to smell the black stuff that kind of builds up in the corner of your toenail, like your big thumb toenail, when you clip it. And so I get really aroused in an unobjective way when it's time to...

He's he posted with this education like all these these videos should be evidence that the first video should be down. Yeah, right? Yeah, it's like that's not education How is this education that he likes to smell the the crest under his? Because I can't like cut my skin, but you see the black stuff that just came out. Let me show you guys on this Smell it really curious. It's like what that is and that's education and

It'd be cool to just like make a music video with just his ass. Yeah. And just like, apparently you're allowed to show it. Yeah. Damn it. Before and after. Let's switch it out to something else. I mean, but this is like, hold on though. He is a guy that likes to get laid. He doesn't think this is going to stop him from other guys' sex.

I guarantee you it doesn't. You're a gay guy, you still fuck him? I don't know. Smelling his fucking foot cheese? Matt may have lost interest after seeing this clip, you know? Yeah, I think Joey Santiago's gone now. Shapiro's still in. Shapiro's in. With his little hat. With his hat. He always wears his little hat. God. Show some respect. Oh, I love that he has a hat on all the time. Jesus Christ. What do you think this guy makes you think?

Makes a month. I have no idea. You should see, like, when you... Can you pull up his... What's it called? The list of videos? You know, like, his library? Because it'll be like, I was in a car accident. Drink this to make your cum yummy. Like, it's like the weirdest back and forth. Okay, so hit videos, if you would. And then, you know, the titles...

penis balls butt crack and pits how i keep mine hairless we know how okay does he put does he put an air on his fucking dick i mean who knows next one fingering my cat um how to wax your butt filling up my hairy hole soaking in piss and saliva how i shoplifted for eight years and never got caught i mean this is unhinged i am he's about artistic not autistic

I came for the third time outside and it felt so good. Hold on, not to interrupt. How did he fill up his hairy hole? I'm interested. There's a whole video, actually. I'm unaroused by my stepdad. Like, what the fuck? Why I posted about cum before Hamas. That's an actual title of a video. Wait, which one? Sorry. Why I posted about cum before Hamas. That's right before I'm unaroused by my stepdad. Actually, if you scroll a little more.

We'll see that. Yeah, yeah. That's what it is. Like, I don't support Hamas and innocent deaths. How to make bigger loaves that taste yummy. This guy's fucking out of his mind. Yeah. My stepdad did not get busted by the pizza delivery. Like, what in the fuck is happening? So this dude, I think the butthole was away just his entrance point. Yeah. No pun intended of getting you to watch all these stupid fucking videos. I mean, here's his top ranked one, though. It's literally about to bust. Has some good views. No.

Nair on micro penis and balls, a visual guide. Oh, yeah, and he shows his dick and balls in that one. But he doesn't have a micro penis and balls. Well, he has a, it's not. Oh, whatever. It's in there. Like, you literally click the video and his dick is in there. I mean. And he's like, don't judge. Maybe inappropriate. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. I would say. It's not great.

That's not great. But I'll bet if you posted this on your video, it would get taken down. Well, that's what was our whole inquiry. So we actually ended up making a couple with nude models, but we had Dr. Drew come in and do medical advice in them. They're assholes? One girl was topless. It was for a breast exam, and then we had a guy for a testicular exam. So those are on our Clips channel, on the YMH Clips channel.

and it's like and they stayed up they stayed up because we did what oh like a like a like a like hey youtube you can't take this down because of this well we asked them and they were like yeah so yeah then he just there he is he seems excited about that now if you actually if you watch the whole thing drew actually jacks him off at the end but they don't know it's like an easter egg in there you know this guy shaves his pubes off is that normal what's he looking at what's he looking at now like

You guys really got in there. Yeah. I'm a little nervous. It's so close. It's dicking balls. And then the girl was just, that was just a breast exam, right? Yeah. That was this one. You don't need to see the girls. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we're all here. Nobody gives a shit about balls. Yeah. Which got more views, the tits or the balls? I think the balls did. Nice. Yeah.

Hey, cool. Yeah. It makes Dr. Drew look weird, huh? Well, I mean, he's a real physician. He's a doctor. So, yeah, he's, you know. You're checking for, this is his instruction. It's his instruction. It actually. Of course. You know. Interesting that the dick and balls got more views than the titties. That's weird, maybe because they're harder to find. What is that? What's the theory on that? Why is dick and balls, you think?

I think we put it up first so there was more hype around it. I know that I... Oh, the hype. Dick and Ball's getting more hype. A lot of people got mad at me when we first posted the Dick and Balls one. I used a photo of this girl and then I linked that video and they were like, where the fuck are the tits? They're like, I'm just watching this guy's balls. Because we did them like a week apart. People were like, you just got me to watch this guy's balls. Yeah, those things happen all the time. You'll click on the wrong thing because... Like, I...

I'm embarrassed to eat cottage cheese in public. This guy is sniffing the dirt under his fucking toenails. I know. We got to get this off the screen. Hold on. I got a hysterectomy last year and I kept my uterus, my cervix, and all my stuff. And I keep it on a jar on my bedside. There it is. And sometimes when I'm bored, I take them out. Oh my God. And I try to put it together like a puzzle. No, don't touch it.

And when I tell people that, they're like, that's so weird. And I'm like, but it's my organs. So I literally just like hold it. So keep it to yourself. And I'm like, I don't know. Maybe that's my cervix. I feel sick. I feel sick. People just, these kids just want content so bad. They want views. They really do. I really don't think they should give you your organs after. I didn't know they could do that. I don't think biohazard.

She's just picking up Tai Chi now. She's going to fucking eat some Cheetos later and put the fingers in her mouth. I think there's got to be a rule about it because when they give me blood, before they put in that thing, or when they take a blood sample, I can't go, can I have that? No, they're not supposed to give you your body parts. I mean, this is totally unhygienic. I remember when they cut my dick off to turn into a pussy. I asked for it, and they said they weren't allowed to give it to me. Ugh.

I mean, fuck, dude. I just like, okay, I would keep my organs, I guess, but I wouldn't play with them. You really want them? No, I don't. I mean, maybe, but I wouldn't take them out and try to Jenga them fucking later. I would not want that. Or put it on TikTok? Ugh.

That's kind of why... Here's my big thing of the past year. Not to bust in with my own shit. I'm off social media. Completely? Yeah. Well, I have someone upload my shit. I'll make videos and say, here, post this. I just... It was too... It was too much. I just... It was... I've been a better person since then. It's a bummer. Really? Yeah. It's just like...

what are my videos doing? I don't fucking know. What are the comments? Who gives a fuck? I just don't, it just helped my life. I just feel better because I don't have to, because I feel like my, I don't think any of my favorite artists knew that much about what their fans thought. I do it because I want to do it. You know, I don't want anything. I don't want to read those comments. I don't want to know which song got more views. I don't want to know

Any of that shit. Nor should you. Well, because then it affects how you create, right? And like you're not creating from the outside in. You should create from the inside out. Totally. Stupid. I don't want to be in the studio going, oh, this kind of sounds like that song that people, like 10 people told me to suck my own dick. Then I'll be like, fuck, it'll mess with me. And I've just been not having to worry about it all the time. I don't know if you know, but musicians have the four artist apps where you can see your

your streams and stuff and like i deleted those because i can't you can drive yourself fucking crazy like sure what was this oh i got more streams wednesday i'm gonna do what i did wednesday and there's no fucking nobody fucking knows yeah like some song went viral off my last album it was just luck no one it wasn't better than the other songs it was yeah it caught on with somebody that day who probably had a bunch of followers and then it's all yeah who the fuck knows anyway i would recommend it

Do you, um, are you, are you touring right now or are you taking a chill break? I'm taking a chill break, but I'm going to do an exclusive announcement. Now that you asked, I'm doing a spring tour. Okay. And, um, I just confirmed it yesterday. Um, I'm not going to go through all the dates, but I am doing, uh, I think 20 something dates and, um,

The one that stuck out at me, because you were talking, I heard you talking about Portland, Maine. Yeah. We're doing, so I saw on the list, I saw Nashville. I said, I don't want to play Nashville. No, this is Nashville, Indiana. What the fuck are you talking about? What? I'm playing Nashville. Like, you don't play the, I play the weirdest fucking cities. Why are you playing Nashville, Indiana? I have no idea. It was on there and they paid me the money I wanted. Okay. And I was just like,

But did you know there was such a thing? I did not know about Nashville, Indiana. No? You never heard of it? No. I've been to some absolutely small, odd markets. Yeah, and you hit cities, you're like, I don't even know where this is. But that's one I didn't know existed. Yeah, it's very rare for me to have a city on a tour where I've never heard of it.

Because you know, do you normally hit like the known? Well, I do hit more kind of small towns around the big cities and tends to be a little bit better for me, but nothing that small. Yeah. I mean, I've nothing small enough that I got to be like, I think you're making it up. Sure. Yeah. That sounds like it. That sounds like it. And so you're going to hit, how long will this tour be?

I think it'll be a couple months. This last tour before was the first one I did where I actually, I think you do this, you know, or do you only do weekends? No, this tour that I'm going on is like usually a Thursday, Friday, Saturday thing. Yeah, this last one was the first one where I left for like three weeks at a time and it was fucking crazy. It's brutal. Yeah, I came back. I'm just like, I don't think you guys remember that I'm falling apart. I can't do this. Yeah, it's too much. The weekends is the way to go.

Yeah, my only issue with weekends, though, is how about they always go, how about just weekends? And when's the bus leave? Wednesday afternoon. Yeah. And then when do we get back? Monday night. Yeah, and you're like, that's the whole week. Tuesday is the week. Yeah, exactly. So how the fuck is that a weekend? That's true. So I just figured let's just stay out there. Yeah. This is another- Where do you guys play? Where do you play in Nashville? I've done the Ryman-

A number of times, and it's great. This time I'm doing Bridgestone. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. That'll be my first time doing it, though. That's huge. But last tour was like what we were talking about. It was like first show was Tuesday, and then you would do Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. It's too long. It's too much. I can't do it. Yeah. I should probably start moving back to that. But the hardest part, too, is they go...

When they go, yeah, I mean, like Austin, for example. Austin and stuff play sell tickets on a Tuesday. I was like, then what the fuck do you book it for? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I know. You got to like, I would always say on things like that, I always tell them if they go, well, you know, all they have is the Wednesday. I'm like, well, then find a Saturday. Yeah. There are Saturdays. Yeah. Make it later in the year. My favorite was I met a musician once. He was like, he had heard the promoter.

At like 20 shows in a row, he said, this is more of a walk-up town. He said, after about hearing that 20 times, he goes, why don't you just tell me that I suck?

It's like after hearing so much that people don't buy tickets here, they just show up at the last second, then of course they never do. He's like, just tell me I fucking suck instead of pretending these fucking excuses. Boys, you know, on a Wednesday is tough, man. No, no one wants to see me. No one wants to see you. Let's do TikToks, please. Okay, real quick with this. Hey guys, it's your boy Josh, and today I'm going to show you my piss closet. Oh boy. Oh my God. My piss closet.

Oh, that's basically... Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. Can we watch TikTok? It's basically what our boys do. No, I know. I don't even want to talk about it. My whole life is a piss closet. You realize every time... Your house is a piss closet? I sit down on the toilet, on any toilet seat in our house, it's covered in little boy piss.

Everything's a piss closet. They piss on the, they just, do you know our little guy got out of the bathtub the other night and just stood in front of me in our bedroom and just pissed on the floor and started laughing. Yeah. Laughing at me. Eye contact. And I was like, don't. They love piss places. And then we found, don't even say it. They took bottles of water, pissed in it, closed them and like put them in a closet. Oh Jesus. And I was like, what is this?

And they're like, what? We sealed them. And I'm like, nah, dude. You can't do that. So disgusting. So gross. All right. Oh, this chick's awesome. Whoa. Whoa. For those of you just listening, it's a woman who has holes above her mouth. She can stick her tongue through because her tongue is split.

Let's be honest. There's a lot going on. Yeah, I was going to say it's more than that. The eyes are black. The face is tattooed. The face is zebra tatted up. She's got the under skin like horns growing under the nose. Well, she better make it on TikTok because she ain't going to be working on it. She's millions. No, no, she's good. She's good. She's actually really pretty. She ain't getting a job at the Olive Garden. No, she's not going to wait. She's pretty. No, she's great. Yeah, she like has done all this shit, but you could tell she has a pretty face. Yeah.

The tat is wild though. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. It really covers so much. What's that shit called? That thing under the dermis? Those implants? Like the horn? Subdermal implant? Subdermal implant. Yeah, it's just wild. So is that something, do you do that? Split the tongue? Yeah, they can do that to you, yeah. So when does it, can you learn how to do them differently? I guess so. I mean, she took each side of her split tongue and put it through two holes that

that she had made on either side of her upper lips. So what do you, now it's kind of giving me the creeps. What do you tell your doc that you, I want my tongue split? Oh yeah, that's, that's, that's nothing compared to what else this bitch has. She has millions of followers? Yeah, well she's popular. And then her eyeballs are tattooed black. That's a new thing. Oh, that's also a cool thing. We find out it's 20 years old, but we've seen a lot of that on TikTok. The eyeballs blacked out. I gotta say,

I still think you should consider doing that. And getting my head shaved. And the head shave. I liked your idea of the, what'd you call it? The skullet? Yeah, that'd be so badass. Dude, like right here and then the hair long around. It looks fucking rad. By the way, I do have to comment. My wife is in the lobby and she loves the part. She loves the middle part. The middle part has just been all the rage. It's taken over the world. People are very excited. She's like my look too? Yeah, she was talking about your part. Okay.

Jesus Christ. Hashtag Christina's middle part. Mm-hmm.

Happens almost every day. Trimping down my leg and everything. Cheers, Louise. Cheers, Louise. I love that her handle is Adventures with Kara. And this is just one of her adventures. She seems like an older lady who heard there's money to be made on TikTok. And she's just like, I'll talk about it when I shit my pants. Yeah.

Yeah, don't act like it's never happened to you, everybody. I hate when they do that. It's like, just own the tragedy. You don't have to spread it around like that. Like, oh, you've never shit your pants. Actually, I haven't like that. I've sharted. I didn't have two coffee servings between midnight and 4 a.m. or whatever it was. No, actually, this hasn't happened to me. Yeah, this is unique to you, Kara. This is your own adventure. That's why these are her adventures. Yeah. Yeah.

Unfortunately, the rise in popularity of this practice has also led to the rise in a particularly nasty intestinal parasite.

Media Takeout is reporting that at least three women from Memphis, Jacksonville, and Atlanta have all been hospitalized after contracting Giardia after engaging in a practice with their partners. Despite its seemingly harmless name and even more harmless appearance, Giardia is a vicious parasite that could be deadly if left untreated.

According to the New York State Department of Health, Giarditis, sometimes called Beaver Fever, is caused by person-to-person contact, and booty eating is one of the fastest ways to contract Giardia, the parasite that causes the disease. Spread out the parasite directly from one person to another male or especially... She's selling you. It's a detoxifier, powerful natural detox for black people by black people. I don't know how it's specifically just for black people, but whatever. I'd be lying to you. I got a song called Beaver Fever.

Oh my God. I did not know about this cure at the time. No. But isn't that neat, Tom? That is very cool. My husband's always trying to get me to eat his ass and I hope that this video will persuade him otherwise. Well, it's only really happening in Memphis and Jacksonville. No, Austin's next. I didn't hear Austin on this one. We're next to it. No, we're not right next to it. No, we're not actually. We're not even close. Did you hear the end where she said Texas is safe? Yeah.

And also, it looks like it's only happening to black people, so I don't think you have anything to worry about. No, you know. Yeah. Four black people. What about your black ass? Yeah. What about my big black asshole? It is pretty dark in there. Not that it's hairless, though. I know. I actually do want to try the Nair treatment.

Yeah, I wish you would. Can I? Yeah, you can do whatever you want to your asshole. Okay, I'll try it. I'll help you. Waking up in the morning, thinking about so many things. I just wish things would get better. I'm trying to get rid of them, but nothing seems to stay the same. This poor girl is a performer. Woke up in the morning, doing my hair, making me get in my clothes.

It's like a du soleil type of thing. And then she fell off the rope. I mean, that is every time. That's why the only reason I would go to any of these shows is hoping that I get to see somebody fall. So it's pretty cool when you get to see it. That would be cool to be there at that show. It would be so rad. Everybody stayed seated like, that was cool. What else will she do? God. And also she landed like on her tailbone. Yeah. That looks horrible. You think she's hurt right now? This has got to be. And then to have to keep going like,

It sucks. But haven't you ever fallen off the stage before? I've fallen off the stage before. As I was leaving. Yeah, I've had that trip up on the stage. I've fallen on the stage. Yeah. Yeah, me too. That's cool. Yeah, tripping's terrible. Yeah. It's humiliating. Oh, so this is a lady who works at a shelter and she's eating cat poop from the litter box. What? What?

Eating animal shit? Cat shit to be specific. Isn't that amazing? What the fuck man? It's called pica. I mean... She's literally digging cat turds out of the box. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Yeah, the cat's like, "No." Oh my god. Well she got the right job.

Yeah, this is exactly what she should be doing. How does that not make you violently ill, though? It makes me sick to myself. I feel sick, too. Today's episode has made me sick. I know, this whole episode has made me sick. Yeah, did you save all the nasty shit for me? I think so. I think we did. Sorry. Yeah, that was fucking gross. God, I want to move on from this. This is so revolting. So anyway, that's a disorder called pica, and it's a mental disorder where people eat things like paint or dirt or cat turds. Or ass. Or ass. Black ass, specifically. Black ass.

I'm going to panic.

Is this real? No. Hey, that's... No, I'm not going to take it off. I'm going to an important meeting right now. Like, I can't have my hair on. You're having an important meeting at 7 p.m.? What the fuck I do? I'm trying to explain to you, I don't get... I'm not getting...

getting any ventilation right now. Okay? And I don't appreciate your smart remark about me having a meeting at 7 o'clock, which I'm going to be late because of you. You showed up late. Sorry about that. Okay? I'm sorry. Are you giving me an attitude, sir? No, ma'am, I'm not. All I have to do is report you to Uber and so be it. You will be kicked off of this app, okay? Let me tell you, I've gotten other people kicked off. But this freaking seat is leaning...

I need you. You don't think this is like... You have to have consideration for passengers when they get in your car!

Can I tell you, I feel I'm on her side. I've been this person before. I bitch in these Ubers so much. Yeah. Yeah, I know. You know what? I think she's really fired. We need to just bring back old school taxis. Like I had to take a taxi the day home from the Austin airport and it was so shitty. Like the seats duct tape, the guy is driving too fast. The windows won't roll up. And I was just so grateful to be in a car going home that I didn't say shit. You know,

what I mean like hey you're just happy to make it there with your life I got a ride I got a ride like please shut the fuck up there's too many privileges yeah exactly now you can press like don't talk to me on the app too many privileges these people need to just shut the fuck up shouldn't the Uber driver have a thing where they said you can't talk yeah yeah you're

Yeah, exactly. No, the consumer has too much power in this situation. It sucks. I don't know. I kind of feel like it's too perfect, though. Her bitching where, you know what I mean? I don't know. Now the seatbelt's too tight. I feel like this was manufactured. Maybe, but I feel like all, we're in a world now that you can make so much money off content. Yeah, sure. Everything I watch, I'm like, is this real? But also we should say that like, I feel like this is manufactured, but it represents a real thing. That's true. There are people like this. And I'm one of them.

You're bumming me out. You don't think the lady that eats cat turds is real? No, that is real. That's fucking real. That's very, very upsetting and disturbing. You said that's actually an actual disorder? Pica. It's a mental disorder, yeah. All right, another one. People eat. Again, the Asians, superior. Oh, my God. That was submitted by our friend Connor Swindles.

Shout out. Thank you, Connor. You know who would like that? Who's the guy who nares his asshole? Oh, Kevin. Kevin would... And him. Kalo. And they should date because he can put his ball down his throat and get him back. Oh, all the way down. Yeah. That was a metal ball. That's actually a pretty decent size if you're listening. Like, it's a decent size. I do like the tagline or the...

the thing, what is bro training for? Yeah. But like that thing is so significantly sized that the guy actually, he struggles a bit just to put it into his mouth, just to give you an idea of the size. Like that's not easy for him to put in his mouth and he swallows it.

shows you that he swallowed it and then he regurgitates it back up. And also, how do you train? Like, how do you fucking, you do this incrementally. You just almost die all the time. Look at the bags under his eyes. It looks like he's been doing it for like 10 years. He must be practicing in his apartment. That's all I do, man. I will say this, he has mastered this. Whatever this is. Of everyone I've seen, he's the best at it. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, exactly. This is a very useless talent. Like, what's he going to do with this skill? Why even master this? Such a fucking.

Yeah, like we need the plane's going down. We need someone to swallow a ball instead of a gun. Hurry up.

The album Ram is out now. Wheeler Walker Jr.'s fifth album. Great title again, Wheeler. Thank you so much. Always a pleasure to see you guys. We love you. Love you too. Tour. Don't have the dates yet. Spring tour. But you can get tickets when they do come out at WheelerWalkerJr.com. WheelerWalkerJr.com.

You're going to take us out on a song. Oh. And the song is? Let's do Fuck This Job. Fuck This Job. Yeah. I love that one. Go ahead and, yeah, just grab your, oh, here you go. Chad's going to help out. Smart Chad. He knows guitars, too. Yep. Oh, yeah.

He said G was his favorite chord. G for Ghana, his favorite place to vacation. G for gay. G is for gay. Gay chat. That's so gay. I'm trying to find a way to... All right, so Wheeler Walker Jr. is taking us out. Go ahead and mute our mics, and we'll see you guys next week. Thank you.

This 9 to 5 can suck my cock. I'd rather eat shit than punch that clock. Monday through Friday is a hassle. Everybody here is an asshole. Today's the day I grow some balls. Stop jacking off in the bathroom stall and blowing my load in the sink. And tell them what I really think. Fuck!

Fuck this job, fuck you boss Fuck your profit and fuck your loss Fuck you Linda at the front desk too And guy in the mailroom Fuck you, this whole company can slap my knob Fuck all y'all, fuck this job Without me here, this place is screwed Y'all don't know half the shit I do I should've understood from the get-go

to be running this shit hole. P.S. I pissed in the coffee pot, took a big dump in the parking lot, hit a dildo in the drawer, kissed my ass, I'm out the door. Fuck this job, fuck you boss. Fuck your profit and fuck your loss. Fuck you Linda at the front desk too. Guy in the mail room

you this whole company can slap my knob fuck all y'all fuck this job off to chase my dreams crush more pussy than you've ever seen i guess what i really mean is fuck this job fuck you boss fuck your profit and fuck your loss fuck you linda at the front desk too guy in the mirror

Fuck you, this whole company can slap my knob. Fuck all y'all, fuck this job. Fuck all y'all, fuck this job. Thank you very much. You're such a talent. You're so good, I love that song.