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Wait, wait. Is the announcement over? No one else? Oh, did he finish? He finished. Okay, great. That means we can start. 10 o'clock show. 10 o'clock show. 10 o'clock show. 10 o'clock show. Now, do we remember what city we're in? Do we remember what city we're in? We're in Brooklyn. We're in Brooklyn. We're in New York. New York City. New York City. It's a 10 o'clock show. People might be a little tight. Let's have some good energy. Energy. Vocal exercises. Vocal exercises. Vocal exercises.
Eye contact, eye contact. I got it. Eye contact. And what is the name of the show we're doing? Oh, the show? It's Smart Less! Smart Less. Smart Less. Smart Less.
So this is bananas for us. Yeah. And so to be out here in front of you guys truly, it is super humbling for us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We're going to switch. I'm sitting over there? Yeah. I'm sitting there. Where do you want to sit? I'm going to sit down. I sit in the middle. Because you guys are seated. Because tonight's my guest, so I get the couch. Thank you.
- Why is that good-- - You don't know. - Yeah, why is that good news? - Yeah, why is that-- I feel like-- yeah. - Jason! - But I'm telling you, it's a good guest!
This is our last show here in Brooklyn. Yes. And I know, we're bummed to leave, believe me. Well, wait, hang on. What are you guys doing tomorrow? Yeah, that's a good point. We'll do like a little matinee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we should have done that. Everyone's got to rest tomorrow. You've got to go to church. You've got to go to...
Whatever I do. Yep. I like to talk about things that we go through on tour because we've never been on tour before. And one of the things is like touring and traveling. We stay in the same room, which is true. The same suite. Yeah, we stay in the same hotel room. And so far, everyone we've been to, every city we've been to, out of the three rooms, I've gotten the handicapped room. Yeah. By the way, true story. It's just crazy luck. Yeah.
So the shower is level with the floor and it's a hand thing. I'm like, what? Like, it's no shower head. Which is fine. It's just right. Yeah. He's yet to complain. Yeah.
I saved it for here. Why do you want to do it in front of all these thousands of people just to make us feel bad? Well, here's the other thing that I didn't talk about, which is, I don't know how you guys feel, but like... Oh, get real. No, like, when you go out to eat at a restaurant and you order, first of all, the waiter comes around and he's like, would you like bottled water or tap water or whatever? And if I go, I'll have bottled water. And everybody else will be like, great. And then he brings a glass for every single person.
And you're like, I'm not selfish, but I'm like, you asked. - There goes my bottle. - There goes my bottle of water to everybody else. - What part of that bothers you? I wanna get down. - Well, just whatever you want. You order that drink, but know that it was the thing I ordered. - Okay, I know, but is it the money? - No, it's not the money. It's not the money. - But why does it-- - But wait, but here's the thing that's even worse. If I order dessert, and these guys know I love dessert. - Angel loves a sweet. - Yeah.
It's the same thing with those. So you know, like, when you're like, okay, does anyone, and everyone's like, nah, no dessert for me. Nah, nothing for me. And I was like, I'll have the chocolate cake, the oozing chocolate cake with the vanilla ice cream. Great. And then the waiter comes around, plate and a spoon, plate and a spoon, plate and a spoon, plate and a spoon. And I was like, well, now I'm an asshole if I don't share. And I look like a kid, like I don't want to share my food. But then, you know, you can't win.
And by the way, the point is, the point is that's happened when the cookies came the other day. And you're like, look, there's cookies. And this one's like, I don't want any. Let me have one. So... Right? And the cookies were next to... Okay, okay. Eight plates of food. Okay. So let's just get something clear. So if you've listened to the podcast, you know that Jason has a very dangerous relationship with food. No, I don't. I just don't eat like... I don't eat like King Arthur. No. No.
No, but you don't need to talk about it all the time, and I can't wait. I just find it fascinating. I'm going to pay for your, whatever, your psychiatry when they deal with this, because it's so fucked up. And we live in a world where everybody's always talking about food, and is it gluten-free, and the thing, and the thing, and how many calories, blah, blah, blah. Who fucking cares? Yes, you want to know what happens when I eat gluten? It's a disaster. It's a disaster. You're so close to tears. Look at him. Uh...
So I get some food for lunch and then... But, like, say what you ordered. Okay, so I ordered a burger and a steak. Keep going.
That's true. That's true. To split? No, no. You ordered a hamburger and a steak and a bowl of cream corn something and a salad. And blueberry pancakes. And blueberry pancakes. No, that was a different... It's not even the same meal. That was a different... No. That was a different meal. And then these chocolate chip cookies, they said fresh. Like, yeah, who's not going to get that? Listen, you don't want to be rude, right? I don't want to be rude. Anyway...
He tried to shame me, which put me on the attack. I will admit to that. And then out of spite, he decided to eat it all. Yeah. And he's like, but then you ate some of it. I had a corner of a cookie just to release the valve. You know? I mean, you start to look at something, and then if you build up... I honestly can't believe we're in Brooklyn. We're talking about this. I know. But you are the king, Jason. You are the king of... Nah, nothing for me. What do you got there? Yeah. Right. Right.
And Sean, on the other hand, he will go to people's houses and bring McDonald's with him. Absolutely. Right? Oh. Show him your trick if you're constipated. I just do this. Get up. I do this. This works, guys. And then seven times and things start to come out. So he held it at three there. That's...
It's a whole thing, guys. You don't want to share a room with these two, ever. And food, it's tricky for you because also you get real snacky at night now. Yeah. Well... Well, listen, um... Well, let's... Go ahead. Gummies. She heard it. Gummies. I mean... Well, guys, it's legal. It's legal now. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, why do I have to hide that? No, no, you don't. Guess what? It's like going down to the corner and buying a sixer of beer. There are more dispensaries in California than Starbucks. Yeah, it's true. Yet I still will not tell my kids that Daddy and Joyce are coming. But, like, don't tell them.
But it's mostly for the CBD. You know. Sure, sure. The inflammation and whatnot. Yeah, sure. Inflammation. What's amazing is people used to get, like, I feel like when we were growing up, people would get high, like at my age, you get high and you watch, like, the song remains the same, Led Zeppelin, or you'd... They'd know what it is. Yeah. And then, like...
But Jason takes a gummy and watches MSNBC. No, wait a minute. I love it. There's something so super weird and sad about that. No, but Jay got me on them, and they really work, and they're very healthy. And the only thing... Stevia sweet and gummies. Yeah. Oh. And he will... It's the only time. The only time I will find golf interesting. Yeah.
is he will put it on, and I'm like, what is this? Blop! Ten minutes later, I'm like, this is amazing. It's legal here, yes? Yeah.
God, it's like, let's get on with it. What's crazy is how much about, like, our eating habits and stuff they obviously know from listening to the podcast. What else are we going to talk about? We're not journalists. We're not smart. We're just people that eat and sleep like everyone else. It's so true. It's so boring. Well, again, we do want to say thank you for allowing this to happen and that you guys...
And that you listen to the podcast at all. For us, it was such a goof to do it, and then to be able to do this, it's such an incredible thrill. So we're really excited to be here with you guys tonight. Thank you, guys. Very excited. Very excited. So...
Speaking of smart, which we are not, ergo smartless. Sure. Right? We decided to, we decide to, every once in a while invite somebody really, really smart. Yeah. Okay. Most of the time, they're just our fancy, famous friends that are an easy booking for us because they're there having gummies and watching NBC with us. But tonight, folks, Dash...
Stuff's... I need to write my intros 'cause I'm not smart nor young. Um, uh, all right, listen. Stuff's been a challenge for the last few years, but there are heroes out there that are working tirelessly to try to make it better. We got one of them here tonight. She's one of yours, New York.
She was born in the Bronx, educated in Boston, lives a lot in D.C., and in fact at 29 she was the youngest elected ever to the Congress. Guys, welcome Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez! - No way! - Yeah! - Oh my God! - Oh my God! - Oh my God! - Oh my God! - Oh my God! - Oh my God!
Thank you so much. This is you. This is you right there. My goodness. Hi, everyone. You guys. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Right? I mean, see, this kind of stuff blows our mind. Here we are, just three ding-dongs. This is crazy. You came to talk about golf with us? Yes. I wish you brought on somebody with opinions. Right. Golf. Golf.
We're gonna get 'em tonight, we're gonna get 'em out of her. I got questions and stuff like that. Well, first of all, are you currently in town or did you come up for this? - In town. - How often do you get to live in your home city versus living in DC? - So, this is one of the most common questions I get asked.
It depends on the year. Off to a great start. Tell me about your digs in D.C. Do you guys all have to stay in the same kind of place? Is it like dormitories? Do you get a budget for an apartment? Okay, so if you're a normal person... See, guys, I'm going to ask shit you never even thought to ask a congressman. Do you take the express train to D.C.? No, it's going to be better. Are you on a gummy? LAUGHTER
I will not disclose. No, I'm just kidding. But are you? It's like semi-legal in New York. Got me. Is it really only semi-legal? Yeah, yeah. It's decriminalized. So what does that mean? It's decriminalized. It's medically legal. And it's like on the way to becoming. So wait, but so you can buy it legally. If you smoke it, it's illegal. No, no, you can own it.
- Can you use it? - You can use it. It's decriminalized, but decriminalized, you can't buy it in a shop yet. - Oh. - Right. - All right. - But we're on our way. - Or you can buy it in an alley. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or a park. Or a park. Or a park. Or a park. Okay, so your place in D.C., do you get a budget for housing or you got to spend that yourself? No, this is a discussion. By the way, I want to know, too. I have 10,000 questions I could ask you because I'm the dumbest person alive. Well, no, it's... Wait in line. The detail, like, it is crazy. It's really interesting because most people who get elected to Congress are,
are independently wealthy before they run. I want to get into that too. So if you're a normal person and you get elected, like there's no housing allowance, so you have to pay two rents.
Your place at home and your place in D.C. Yeah, or like when I got elected, my job right before was that I was bartending. And there's... What was the bar? Shout out to? Shout out to the taco shop on Union Square, which is still there. Really? Hey, some people know it.
So you have to pay for two places. Yeah, yeah. And you're doing it, when you go there, you're doing it on a bartender salary. Was the last salary you... Yeah, so basically there's kind of this weird period where after you get elected...
Your first paycheck comes at Congress. You get paycheck monthly. Okay. You get paid once a month. Yeah. And so your first paycheck comes at the end of your first month in Congress. Okay. So like, how do you tide yourself over? You last that first month. Yeah. Like these are things that, and a lot of your colleagues like don't have to think about it. Right. So it's, they're like these interesting little challenges. And are you. But I rent, I rent in New York and, and, uh, and in DC. I'm a tenant. Okay.
And you're not allowed to take money from constituents to help you out. I'm putting it in terms of college athletes and stuff. You can't take money from sponsors and alumni and things like that in college. No, I mean, in theory, you're not. Exactly. All right. And do you have to drive yourself?
I drive, yeah. Or sometimes I'll fly, too. Or sometimes I'll take the Amtrak, which is what I do a lot, too. Now, what about... Shout out to Amtrak back there. Good for you. Now, what about... And Metro North, too, while we're at it. I mean, fuck it.
Um, um, all right. So now, did you, did you want to do this from an early age? No. Or was it when you were working with the Bernie Sanders campaign, you saw some stuff that you thought, well, maybe that's... Yeah, well, you know, I never thought that I would be elected to public office. I also didn't think that
someone like me or with a background like mine could really get elected to public office. And that young, too, 29. That's the youngest ever, right? It's the youngest woman ever. I mean, you had, like... Yeah. I mean...
How old were you when you started to get involved in your first primary or whatever? You were like 27? I was 27 when I started renting. That's crazy. Yeah. I mean, 27, Sean, you were making millions of dollars a year on Will & Grace. You know, like everybody's got humble beginnings, right, Sean? And by the way, and still renting. Yeah. No, no. No, you blew through it all. Oh, I blew through it, yeah.
Wait, I want to know, like, I don't know how any of us, like, I'm the, like I said, the dumbest person in the world, and how, how... Here, nobody disagreed. I know. The entire audience. Nobody... All we get, all we get from whatever news source we get is how, I'm probably jumping way ahead, but I just want to get this. No, please, let's get all over the place. Yeah, yeah, I...
All we get from the TV and whatever we, wherever we get our news, whatever you watch or read or whatever. YouTube. Is that, is that it's always at a standstill. Nothing gets accomplished. And we hear the same thing. And how long is this going to go on? When are we going to find somebody or something or anything that can make us meet in the middle? I think both sides are sick and tired of it. You know, like what is that thing? Yeah. Well,
I think the thing is, is what we need to take a look at is that there's a lot of meeting in the middle. It's just about the things that we don't like.
So there's a lot of bipartisan consensus around militarism and around Wall Street bailouts and around, you know, helping out corporations and shorting the middle and working class. There's a lot that goes on that passes, that gets done to advance that. But isn't newsworthy or something, or we don't hear about it? I mean, we don't. If we do hear about it, we don't like it. But there's a lot that goes on that, you know, I just don't think...
It's really about, like, what are we doing to affect people's lives and to improve people's lives in a way that's felt. And now, a word from our sponsor. And now, back to the show.
So then let's say there's a subject that you would like to pull one of the Republicans over and meet in the middle and have some bipartisan consent on and then have a piece of legislation. How does that happen? Do you call somebody who you think might be the most pliable on the other side and say, hey, let's have coffee? Or do you text? Or do you text? Yeah. How does this part work? Let's meet in the middle. A little bit of
- Do you say, "Try this gummy and then let's talk about--" - A little bit of all of it. Sometimes it's, sometimes, you know, there are group chats. - Really? - Oh yeah, that's a thing. - Oh, put me in one. - Yeah. - Oh, I just, how bad would you love to just infiltrate and just start lobbing wrong-- - Wait a minute. - But sometimes like-- - That's a dick pic, yeah.
But sometimes, you know, the house floor that you see on C-SPAN or at the State of the Union, that's where we go to vote every day. And so it is kind of like a high school cafeteria. When you see you guys talking next to one another, you're not talking about sports or whatever. You're saying, hey, I want to talk to you about this. You're talking about policy and things you're trying to do, and maybe you should make more like a musical number. Like make it, you know what I mean, in the cafeteria. Sean? Five, six, seven, eight. We're making bills!
Wait, wait, any time. Yeah, you don't have to ask him twice. So then it's... Do you have to worry about the texting being possibly exposed by somebody? I mean... Is there an encrypted chat thing for congressmen? I mean, I feel like...
Some folks, they'll use... Congress people. They'll use... I mean, they use the same things that everybody uses, you know? Yeah. They'll use... They'll either use iMessage, Signal, WhatsApp, like whatever it is people use. Or, again, it is like a high school cafeteria where sometimes you're talking to somebody and someone will be like, well, you know who you should talk to? That guy over there. And it's very...
informal in that way. Is it as rough because we obviously don't... I would do really well there. What's that? The informal part? No, I think I'd do really well there. I think you would.
I think you would. Informal. And then you're on group chats. Yeah. And you know what I mean? It really is a lot of schmoozing. It's a lot of schmoozing, Jason. No, wait. What is it? Can I do it? Yeah. So when people are trying to sort of like figure out since it's every, excuse me, every two years for Congress as opposed to six years, senators? Yes. Okay. And four years for president, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh my God. I'm Canadian and I know that. I know, I know. It's a constant turnover, so how do you keep track of who might be a pliable member of the other side? And the sort of long-winded question which I'm prone to do associated with this is...
Tuck in. Just lay back. Why are you answering your own question while... It's a thing. I love the sound of my... Just ask her a simple question and then let her answer it. When you got there, it was so exciting for a lot of people for many, many reasons. Did you find that you were either really embraced or not based on all the press coverage that you got the second you got there? Was it helpful or hurtful? It was...
in terms of internal dynamics, it's actually hurtful. Because what happens is that you're sitting right next to a person. And it's a really bizarre experience because... So there's something called a cloak room. Oh, here we go. And... Harry Potter! Yes! Yes!
There's a lot of Harry Potter on the island. It's not Harry Potter shit. No, but he's right. It does sound dope as hell. So you have the House floor, you know, like what you see in the State of the Union. But there are these rooms attached to the House floor. And there is a Democrats cloakroom.
And there's a Republican cloakroom. And so you go in through the cloakroom, and there's like, you know, there's rules about being on the House floor. You can't wear coats. And so you put your back in the day. Chewing gum? Can you chew gum? You could put, I mean, back, chewing gum. Wait, wait, wait. Why can't you wear a coat on the Senate floor? Or on the House floor? There's pretty strict dress codes. You cannot wear a coat? Yeah, you can't wear a coat. Why? Why?
You can't wear a coat. You can't wear denim. Until very recently, women could not wear sleeveless dresses. Yeah, it's just, you know, it's old school like that. And so they have these things called cloak, they're cloak rooms, where back in the day, kind of, you know, in the 1800s and whatnot, members of Congress, they would drop their cloaks there. There used to be chests where you put it up and you pull out huge bottles of booze and put the booze in the thing.
before you went on the house floor. - Your little booze cubby. - They don't have those anymore. - Booze cubby. - Yeah, it was like little cubbies. But that's how it was. And so that's like this informal socializing space. - Well, Jimmy Jordan must love the house floor. - Can guys go sleeveless?
That's a good question. That's a question from our friend Justin Theroux. Asking for a caller, JT from New York. We get it, man. Your arms are really good. All right. Now, so again, jumping all over the place. You talk about the floor and then the rooms off to the sides. It makes me think about, I want to go to January 6th for one second. I have a question about why...
Why did they all leave once they got in? Is it because they couldn't find you guys? That there were places where you guys were shuttled off to? They were hiding in the cloakroom. In the cloakroom. Drinking the booze. But was that because, obviously, old Mr. What's-His-Face never called them off, so they didn't leave because of that. Did they leave because you guys were properly stowed away? Well...
The thing that's interesting about the architecture of the Capitol is that, like Harry Potter, like Hogwarts, it's very Byzantine. It's actually really hard to navigate. And so they couldn't find the halls and the places...
that you needed to navigate to where member offices were. - Right. - And so they kind of like busted in and they found some of the main offices, like Pelosi's office and House Leadership's offices there. - But then everybody was gone. Everybody was taken away. Like that, to me, that's the unsung heroic story of all this. - Yeah, yeah. - Because somebody, and it was probably the Capitol Police, did great work of putting everybody away.
And it was like, people went in to rob a bank and somebody hid all the money and they were like, "Well, fuck it. I guess let's go home. There's no money here." - Yeah. - That was a crazy, crazy day. - And I think we all-- - Oh, was it, Will? We all remember-- Well, we all remember where we were that day. Jason, do you remember where you were? I was with you on the golf course.
Why'd you tee yourself up for something humiliating? Well, why did you get on your high horse about it with me? Well, because you said it was a crazy day. Like, well, we get it.
It's funny that you talk about it because, and it's funny that you bring it up kind of after, you know, discussing relationships with members and Republicans and Democrats because right before I left, so Congress was in session this week. And so right before I left, they literally had the last vote of the week. And I was just, you know, filling something out. So most of the folks were kind of fouled out. And...
Some Republicans, I mean members of Congress in general, are kind of funny people. Are they? Pretty unusual. Are they aware of that? Yeah. And so the thing that's interesting is some Republicans are just like, the reality in front of them is completely divorced from the rhetoric and all this other stuff that sometimes they go on TV and say. It's really weird. And does it feel a little high school-ish where like,
You know, there are people there that are... Obviously, I know you don't get along with... They don't get along with you. They can go nameless. But, I mean, like, what happens when you pass her in the hallway? You know? Like, I mean... Yeah. But, I mean, is it... But is it really not so dissimilar from high school where you either choose to pretend they're not walking by or is there...
Is there a snotty look? Is there a snotty aside? Is there ever like, hey, you know what? Let's hang out this weekend. We can fix this together. Yeah, well, I think a lot of it is like high school. And the reason for it is that I think there's just a certain dynamic when you get like 400 people in like a similar space. And like, they're literal bells. When the vote's called, the bells ring. It's like...
high school in a lot of ways. Like just structured that way. So some people really operate that way. - One second, high school. - Yeah, so high school is-- - Is this place-- - Is it up a few floors? Why do they call it high? - You know what, we don't have time, but we're gonna-- - Double back.
And so some people conduct themselves that way. Some people like actually want to get to know each other. But yeah, I mean, some, I mean, listen. But like a high school, if it was a person X and person Y that everybody knew they didn't like each other. And then if on Monday, everyone came back to school and the word got out like, oh, you know, over the weekend they talk and they're all good. Right.
it would blow the high school's mind and everybody would come back together. So I'm just saying, I mean, I don't know, it'd be a really cool thing. I know you're willing.
What would you say? I always hear this, "Well, if you don't like something, call your congressman." Does that really happen? Do you guys have, like, voicemail that you go through every day? It actually... Okay, it depends on who the member is. Some of them don't care. But some of them really, really do. Especially members of Congress who are in swing seats. They're actually very sensitive.
to the volume of those calls, except it has to be from their constituents. So if you're just calling somebody somewhere else, they're like, "I don't care what someone from so-and-so thinks. They're really resonant with their voters." So if their voters are really upset and flooding their phones, that is something, especially if you're in a tough seat, that does really resonate with some of them. But others, I mean, and senators, I don't even know. - But if you get a call from 718,
- You're answering it. - Yeah, 718-347. - 347. - 212s, maybe if you move. - 917, 917. - 917. - That's so cool. - What is it about... Something I have not really understood is a lot of these folks that are in positions like yourself,
could make a whole hell of a lot more money back in the private sector. - Yeah. - Okay? And yet, to keep their seat, obviously talking about a lot of folks on the other side, to keep their seat, they have to twist themselves into these ethical knots
to hold the party line, when you can kind of tell they probably wouldn't want to. Like you were saying earlier, they say privately, like... So why are they staying there, earning... I think it's... Senators make... All members of Congress make $174,000 a year.
Right. And I bet you a lot of those who are, a lot of them very skilled attorneys, could make, you know, X number of millions a year. So are they really staying there and holding their job because they have some ideology that they're so passionate about or they are so altruistic, they want to help, you know, the public? I don't get the sense...
that a lot of them do on the other side, I'm sorry to say. And so why are they there when they could be making all this money back in their district? Well, a lot of them still do make a ton of money because there's a lot of insider trading that goes on in Congress. There we go. What? And, okay, you're not supposed to... Not on my watch. You're not supposed to, like, say that term. See, she's having some of the scotch, guys. We're getting it now. Here's what I'm going to say. The spirit, like...
Because technically, folks will say, technically, this is not a crime. Technically, it's not. In spirit, it is. It should not exist. Because they're privy to some information that's coming down the pike and they buy stock in that company. Exactly. And so it is legal. As a member of Congress, it is currently legal. And I've been trying to change this, folks. As a member of Congress, it is currently legal to... I have access to classified briefings.
things, you can get things down the line, and you can buy stock in individual companies. And it can be within the purview of the committee that you sit on. I mean, it's bonkers. It should not be legal, and we've been working to make it illegal. And I actually think the increased public attention very recently is going to get us some traction on this issue. Knock on
Yeah, how is that still there? That's crazy. And so not only that, but A, there's that. B, there are plenty of members who are so wealthy and get elected that they don't have to, like, a salary is nothing to them. It's really, there's no trade-off here.
I find the psychology of it very interesting too because I ask myself the same question. I'm like, because the thing is like, it's a real pain in the butt, you know? You lose your anonymity. It can be grueling. People are yelling at you. So if you have...
Your life is threatened. Yeah, like, why do this? Because you walk into a restaurant and they're like, right this way. And I do think... No, but, like, I think that there is a psychology to that where there's a certain kind of power and influence that money can't buy. And there's, like, a prestige that I think money can't buy that is part of the psychology of some people. Not everybody. There are legitimately...
Plenty of members of Congress are just salt of the earth, incredible, amazing human beings. Jamie Raskin, Mark Takana. Love Jamie Raskin. You know, like... Wow.
Amazing. So, you know, it's not everybody, but there absolutely is that element to it. So you're spending 99% of your time being super-duper smart, being incredibly generous with your time and your occupation and everything. What do you do to be a dumbass? What is like, are you watching below deck?
Are you chewing gummies like crazy? What do you do to be stupid? Okay, so I, you know, because work is so crazy and, like, emotional, et cetera, I have to watch, like, dumb television. Yeah, yeah. What's your favorite dumb? Please say Ozark when you say that. No, like, you know...
- Fun, funny stuff. And I play-- - You know, Murderville though is a new show. - I'm actually excited about that. - No. - I'm legitimately, I saw the first commercial for it like a day or two ago and I'm like, oh, this looks really funny. - That show's rad, by the way. - No, yes. - Seriously watch Murderville. - Very good. - Don't watch it streaming on Netflix right now. It's not a big deal.
It's really, really good. It is good. It is good. Thank you. You see the way I take the high road, guys? I know. So she's going to answer what her favorite dumb show is. Okay.
Oh, man. Well, I don't know. I mean, I've watched, like, COVID. Selling Sunset was one of us. What is Selling Sunset? Selling Sunset. Selling Sunset. I also play video games. Yes. PC games, so League of Legends. League of Legends, nice. Like, yeah, no one knows what that is. And we will be right back. And now, back to the show.
Sometimes I like to watch great comedies. One of my favorite is a film they made a few of that one of my friends, a mutual friend of ours is in. No, no. And this guy who is in one of my favorite comedy movies, comedy trilogies...
It's not him. Oh wait. But let's thank him anyway. It is him! Ladies and gentlemen, our friend wanted to say hi and we're only in town to do this. Bradley Cooper! Woo!
- Come on, come on, come on. - You get in the middle. - Come on, come on. - Sit down, sit down. - What? - Sit down. - What? - Sit it down. - Oh my God. - Sit there. - All right, so, so. - Really? - I'm so, I had to fix the light. - All right, thank you very much. His mood lighting as an electrician. - By the way, Jay, I had no idea. - I know, I know. - I had no idea. - I know. - I had no idea. - Did you know? - I did, I did, I did.
Okay, so so Bradley so Bradley Bradley called and he said he said he said I hear he said he said
He said, "I hear you guys are coming to town. Let's all hang out because the four of us are very, very good friends." And he said, "Well, we're only in town for a few minutes." He said, "Well, let me come by and say hi before the show." And I said, "Well, no, then they're gonna know the guests." I said, "The only time we got is on stage, so please come out and say hi on stage." I just... Yeah, right.
I just want to say one thing and then I'll leave. You're not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. I've known all of these people. I met Will in 1998 and then I met Sean through Alias in 2000 and then I met Bateman. And these guys have all been gunslingers for 20 years. We say, who's the quickest guy in the room? Jason Bateman. Who's the funniest guy in the world? Will Arnett. Who's the funniest guy ever? Sean Hayes.
So I've been you for 20 years. I've been you for 20... So it's so unbelievable that they're sharing their skill set with you. How lucky are we? It's just the truth, man.
Will and I lived together in Venice, California, and it was like I used to watch this every day. It's like great. Hang on. Let's get into that. Sorry. Pardon me. No. You're going to find this interesting. So tell us about you two living together in Venice. What was that all about? So Bradley lived in the back of this property. He lived in the back house. How old were you? We were 10. We were very young.
I mean, I play 38 now, so... Do the math. At the most. At the most. 23. I remember the first time I met him was at your place, at your apartment. Playing cards. Yeah, playing cards at your apartment, and that's when you lived in the back. And I was like, you were like, meet my friend Bradley, and you answered the door with boxers on it. I was like, hello. And I was like...
But that's how you always answer the door, right? It's, "Hello." - Hello. - That's right. And so Bradley lived in the-- We had this building in the back, and we had our friends-- Yeah, we lived with Ron Rifkin and Ive Rifkin. - And Ive Rifkin. - And Ive Rifkin. - Ive lived in the front. - Yeah. And then Bradley and I shared this building in the back, and our doors were connected, were open, and we overlooked-- There was a property we overlooked at Hopper's house. - Dennis Hopper. - Yeah. - Oh, boy. - Wow. And we used to see him sometimes in the alley... That's right. ...driving that old Jaguar. And then it was so weird. It was California, man.
Come on. And then we were doing Arrested on the same lot that you were doing Kitchen Confidential. Kitchen Confidential.
But the other thing is, like, we've all been through it together. I mean, that's really the thing. It's like, we were started out, we used to talk about, like, our dreams and will we ever be able to fulfill them. And he and I, I mean, it's like, it's actually very emotional. We were backstage just thinking, you know, if you just take the time and you work hard, it can happen. It is possible. And the best part about it, though, is when you do it with people you love. And that was just so gratifying. I'm proudly saying this story. Right? Yes, for sure.
- 100%. - Wait, wait. So Bradley's sick of this story. He was at my house, this is years and years and years ago, and he's like, "Hey, I got called to do this musical on Broadway. Will you play through the songs for me?" And I was like, "Sure, what are you doing a musical on Broadway for?" He's like, "I don't know." I go, "You got like 18 movies coming out." He's like, "I don't know if any of them will work, blah, blah, blah." And like literally, I said, "Well, we're working on this stuff," and he's singing, and I'm like, "This is great." We ate lunch, whatever. And then like a month later, The Hangover came out. I'm like, "You're such an asshole." It's like, yeah.
Yeah, it's funny, you know, because we do get to do, like, this is so bizarre that we're doing this in this way, but it is all about those, you remember, we were talking backstage about remembering where you came from and how hard it was and all that kind of stuff, and Bradley, he directed A Star is Born. Woo! Nice. Nice.
I mean, incredible. And we were in Vegas, and Bradley was unveiling the trailer, and I was on stage, and I got to introduce him. Yeah, he was the emcee for all of the Warner Brothers media, which is the hardest job. He was like the, yeah. And Bradley came out, and we did this thing, and he played this trailer. We sat there with this crowd not unlike this, and we sat at the edge of the stage, and this trailer was...
and it was emotional, man. It was really wild. And it's so great to be able to do that with people you love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I can only imagine. And that's how a bill becomes a law. Yeah.
I can only imagine how fulfilling, like how much deeper and gratifying it is to be able to celebrate a friend's victory when you know like how, what they went through to get that. You know, you're not meeting someone at the peak when you've met someone when they were just, you know, at their lowest sometimes. I'm glad you mentioned Teen Wolf 2 because...
I took a lot of guts. Will, Will, Will. She never said feel. She didn't say it. Okay, forget it. Forget it. I auditioned twice for that movie. You died.
I got a callback. I got a callback. And Sean turned it down twice. Who are some of your gal pals in D.C. like we were coming up that you're now pals with? You guys are coming up as young politicians that you hope to grow old with there. I want to know that answer, and then who is your favorite Republican? Okay, okay. That's a good question. I like that question. Yeah, yeah.
So, I mean, of course, there's Ayanna Pressley, Rashida Tlaib, like just absolutely incredible. But also, you know, a lot of my friends from when I was working in restaurants and bartending, you know,
downtown, like those are my ride or die as well. And those are still the people around me that are most, some of the most important people to me. If you were going to go out in DC and really release the valve because it was a tough week, who's the first call? Okay. Release the valve. Okay. I think he's another. I had some addiction problems. Okay.
I think another congressman from New York, Mondaire Jones. Yeah. He's really fun. You know, there's just, I mean, there's just a lot of folks who are... Who would be the most likely to give you a high five? A high five. Who's the high fiver? Who's the high fiver? I bet it's a Republican. Yeah, I think Republicans. Because Mitch McConnell seems super easy. Yeah.
He does seem like a fun guy. Yeah, yeah. So as far as Republicans go, high-fivers, Tim Burchett of Tennessee, he's a high-fiver. There's some folks who are high-fivers. Who's the hugger? There's always a hugger. I'm a hugger. You're a hugger? You're allowed to, though. I try not to be a... I always, you know, make sure I do the vibe check before I hug, but I do like to hug. Bradley, would you... Could you ever run for office? Yes. Come on, come on. No? No?
It's funny you say that because I was going to maybe say it if we had a chance to talk, but what you've decided to do, really, what you've decided to do with your life is the most selfless thing one can do. You know, everybody talks about... That's totally true. No, but we talk about how much we believe in something and we talk to our friends who will agree with us.
but to get out there and say I'm going to sacrifice my life, my privacy, my well-being potentially for what I believe in the greater good of all of our in our country, it's like, that's it. That's it. So, yeah. Having said that, what are your favorite movies?
I have to say to that. And start with his, and then we're going to go all the way around. And then we're going to go back around. Everybody get their favorite movies. Start here. I have to say, though, we kicked off this whole tour in D.C. And, you know, again, I bet, yeah.
And, you know, I went there once with my husband, Scotty. We just were there super fast. We didn't get to see anything. But this trip with these guys, we actually walked around and we got those little bird bikes that we drove around like idiots. They're scooters, not bikes. Scooters, sorry. Scooters, scooters. And so, you know, again, idiot, I was just like, wow. I was so humbled to be, I'm sure everybody says this, but just not being there, not visiting and not knowing anything about it
It's like, wow, there's so much history and so much respect once you go there and see it and experience it. Yeah, man, it's the capital. It's just incredible. Sean kept going, he kept going, he's on a bird's way. What is this place? This is where they make the laws. This is where they make, I mean, like literally, they make the laws there. They make the laws. Right? Guys! We're like, yeah, we know, man. I'm like this.
- Literally. - Total true story. You'll see it in the doc. - You'll see it in the doc. And I literally was like, "Oh, look at that," and then a wall. - Could you ever run for office? - Look at me, of course.
By the way, I'm sadly... By the way, I saw... I've been alive now for, I don't know, five or six presidents, and one particular president, I won't say who it is, I saw win an election. I was like, if that guy can win, I literally can win. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'd vote for Sean. Let's go! Sean for president! Somebody...
Somebody needs to make, please, one of you make hats that say, I'd vote for Sean.
I know I'm Canadian. That was so accusatory. I'm both, by the way, so suck it. Smarty pants over here. Oh boy, don't get him riled up, guys. He's been really well behaved. I know. I can feel it, though. Fucking rocks to a knife fight over here. What is the one law that you're working on or one that you, more than anything, that you're really, really passionate about that you really want to see go through?
I mean, there's so many. Medicare for all is a big one. I mean, this like janky healthcare system that we have in the United States.
The fact that we are, you know, the so-called most developed, wealthiest country in the world, and we also have the highest maternal mortality rate of the developed world, I mean, this is ridiculous. It's kind of embarrassing. It absolutely is embarrassing. And I think COVID also showed a lot of that, too. Like, the whole rest of the world is like, y'all live like this?
Like, really? It's exciting, though, when you see something get done that's immediate, either through executive action or something similar to it. How did you, speaking of which, how did you get, she's responsible, she gets over a billion dollars was sent to reimburse the families of people who lost somebody during COVID for the funeral costs. Yeah. Like, you were behind that. Like, that's incredible. And it was done like that. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, that was really gratifying. And I think it's a perfect example of governance and public governance working the way that it should work. So when COVID first hit, you know, it hit New York City. New York City was one of the first places that got hit super intensely. And out of all of New York City and out of the entire country,
Out of the top 10 most impacted, most hit zip codes in the country by COVID, five of them were in my district. And this was at the onset of the pandemic when people still didn't even know what was going on. We didn't know how it spread. We didn't know anything about it. And what we saw was that there was a neighborhood in our district, in our community, in East Elmhurst in Queens,
And they were saying, you know, this is hitting us really hard. And it's hitting frontline workers harder. It's hitting, you know, people whose jobs are public-facing. Food service workers, hospital workers, you know, retail workers. Like, it's hitting us hardest. And we can't even afford to bury the people that have...
I don't believe it happened. I don't believe it happened. What? No, what? But this is, and I guess probably a lot of people want to know also, was the baby real? In The Hangover. Sorry, this is for Bradley. In The Hangover. I think it meant American Sniper. American Sniper. Why would you bring that up? Why would you bring that up again? I like both. I like both. Can't get over that? I love American Sniper. You know that. Bro, we didn't have money for the baby. I don't want to tell you. Okay.
I moved his hand. I mean, I made it work. Thank you, bro. But you recognize that you put it up front and got it done. Yeah. So folks in our community, they said, listen, this is like a huge cost and we're going to need help. And so we took that. I brought it to the House Democratic Caucus. I brought it to the speaker. I brought it to our Senator Chuck Schumer, to like anyone who was listening. I was like, we need to do this. Yeah.
And it took a little while. You know, it wasn't immediate. It took a lot of work. But we were able to authorize in total $8 billion to reimburse any funds for anybody who lost someone to the COVID. It's not means tested. There's no like crazy, you know, there's no income thresholds, nothing like this is.
impacting all of us. We're all in this together. We're all gonna help each other, no questions asked. - Well, we don't wanna take any more of your valuable time. You can continue, please, the incredible work that you're doing. Thank you for taking a little time out, hanging out with us. Ladies and gentlemen, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez! - Thanks for having me! - Thank you. Thank you. Such an honor, thank you. - Hey, guys, AOC! - AOC!
Should we... You can go, too. You can go, too. No, no, no. No, no, no. Stay here. We have an announcement to make. Smartless is now four people. Come on! I mean... We couldn't make his deal, but he did say he'd stop by. Bradley...
You could do it. You're very familiar with the show now. I love the show. You kidding? Right. You've just gotten caught up on all the episodes. Yeah. Of Murderville. Of Murderville. Oh! Oh! Um, you guys, thank you for... Were you done, Angel? No, I wanted to talk about AOC. I was still talking to Bradley. I got a heart out. Where are you going?
Go ahead. It's got to be good. I wanted to say about AOC that it was, first of all, I can't believe you got her, Jason, to come down here and chat with us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, she's a game changer, a one of a kind, you know, like you said in your intro, just a one of a kind. And I got nervous meeting her because, you know, she's super smart and I didn't want to ask dumb questions, but I did anyway. Yeah. But she wasn't judging you. I thought that you were fine. She's doing that back there right now. You think so? Yeah.
Yeah, uh... No, she's... We're very, very like... Look, whether you agree with her or disagree with her, it's undeniable that the people, as Bradley, you said, that are taking their time... Yes, at the very least, yeah. ...and choosing to spend their... Like frontline workers, which I think we have some here tonight, perhaps. Yes. I mean, it's like... Thank you, guys. And, you know...
We know that we're, you know, a safe distance from smart, and we're just doing dumb chat crap that hopefully you guys enjoy listening to when you're in the middle of doing stuff that's really important. So, you know... Yeah, no...
Yeah, we do this as a goof. We started this as a goof, and we're so lucky that you guys listen to us on a weekly basis. We feel, and, you know, even, you know, we can have people like our guests tonight, and no matter where you fall on either side, we can all come together, you know, on a night like this in a...
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