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Hey, let's do that thing really quick where we finish the sentence, we do one word at a time. No, no, like we do one word. I'll start, I'll start. Ready? Okay. We... No, ready? Go. We are... So... Excited... To... Be... Here... Oh, Sean. Sean, come on, let's go. This is like what it's like taking a fucking road trip with you. Hey, kids, let's build a story together. Yeah.
How about we just go do the friggin live podcast? Great. Yeah, let's do it. All right, guys. Welcome to Smartland. Wow. Wow. Wow. This is so nuts. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smartland. Smart
This is just ridiculous. I like pulling an Oprah. I like pulling an Oprah Winfrey and go, take a seat, take a seat, take a seat. I know, I know. This started, this was a bit. We started this as a bit. Yeah. And now we're here in Brooklyn with all these beautiful people. I know, I love it. Thank you for coming. Thank you for spending $5 a ticket to come see us. Yes.
We really appreciate it. But good God, well, they're here. I guess we got to do this. I know. Yeah. Everybody all back there. Buckle up. Set the bar really low. I'm sitting here? Yeah, you're going to sit there. Very exciting. Yeah, I'm going to sit in the middle. We're going to grab a seat. Because I get, I get, tonight it's my guest, so I get the middle.
Why is that good news? Why is that good news? That's not always good news. I will tell you, I am very excited about my guest tonight. My heart is pounding, pounding, and it's not just the Diet Red Bull. Now, we've all had a lot of Red Bull because we had a long night. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. So we got stuck in, where were we? Boston. Boston. And...
And we were... Our flight was supposed to leave at 10.30 after the show, and we ended up leaving at 5 this morning, 6 this morning, something like that. 45-minute flight took us 8 hours to get here. 8 hours. So we've had, like, 3 hours of sleep, so you're getting the best version of us. But...
But the best part is our amazing, incredible director, Sam Jones. Yeah. We're stuck on the plane and we're all kind of just really quiet, trying to catch any kind of winks we can. And then we hear this. Oh, God, yeah. And by the way, he's like, I didn't get any sleep. We're like, no, no, no. You're the only one who got sleep. Yeah.
None of us. And then when we get to the hotel, they always make fun of me because I always have my kind of, you know, my things. Like, when you travel, you have your things. And so I always ask for a fan and a blanket. I need an extra fan. So every time we pull into a hotel... Yeah, let's not gloss over that. Let's not gloss over it. Every time we pull into a hotel, Sean, there's always, like, 20 minutes later, there's, like, a knock on the door, and a guy shows up with a fan and a big blanket. Yeah.
And we're like, no, wrong room. And then Sean shoots up. No, no, no, that's me. Because we're all staying together. Did we mention that? We're staying in the same room? Yeah. We're all in the same room. It's all for this stupid-ass show. Wait till you see it.
It's such a mistake. Actually, it should be noted, you wanted to stay in the same room. Well, I thought it was like, "Well, if we're gonna do it, let's get full stupid ass." - Yeah. - You know? So Jason's like, "Listen, we're all gonna stay together, and we're all just gonna be-- and we can just-- 24-hour access to the cameras, six hours into it." He's like, "Fuck this." Yeah.
It's a nightmare. It's your idea. Because I'm not usually, this is, I am peaking right now. I'm usually in such a bad mood. Am I not a moody guy? Yeah, you're a very, very moody guy. Every morning, every morning, this coming straight at me, just his hair is about eight feet high with the bedhead, with the cup of coffee, so fucking angry. Yeah. He's coming right at me. And he shuffles, too. You know how he shuffles? He kind of like, he walks like this. I'm not exaggerating. He walks like this, and he looks like...
He looked like all of his bones are so brittle like he's about to snap. Is that true? It's true. It's true. Daddy's back hurts. I know. A lot. What else? I don't know. What else? So much else. Should we just get to the guest? Yeah, let's get to the guest. Let's get on with it. All right. Your guest. All right, Granddad needs notes, too. Gang Dash.
We've been going to different cities and in each city we are trying to invite a guest that is part of its fabric, its spirit, its soul. This guy, so now you know it's a man, checks the boxes. He is also... Giuliani! Giuliani. Wait, no, I was saying... Don't turn them against us already. Wait, I may have skipped a sentence. Hold on a second. Oh, God.
Gang. Dash. We've been going to different cities, and in each city we're trying to invite a guest that is part of its fabric, its spirit, its soul. This guy checks those boxes. He's also an enormous hero to each of us. Oh. He is comedy royalty. I know exactly who it is. Bullshit. You don't know who this is. I know exactly. Don't guess it yet. Hold on. Mouth it to me. Hold on. Don't let me see it.
And he is the undisputed best at what he does. Right? There's no... He keeps going like this. Martin Short. Martin Short. Short. Are you finished? Sorry. Gang Dash. Fuck.
Thank you, Sean. All right. He's the undisputed best at what he does. No one better. Period. He has 52 Emmy nominations to prove it. Along with 12 wins, he's got a Kennedy Center Honor, a Mark Twain Award, but in the last few years, he has selflessly chosen to stop everything and fill in for the recently deceased Santa Claus. Will, Sean, Brooklyn, please welcome Mr. David Letterman. Yeah!
Come on Dave! No! Thank you. Oh my god. Whoa. Hi Sean. Great pleasure to see you. Jason, great pleasure to see you. Will, all my best my friend. Nice to see you. Oh my gosh. No, no, no, no, no. Where do I go? This side. Thank you very much.
Hi. Terrific. Yeah. Terrific. Wow. Thank you. What a lovely thing and what a beautiful theater and thank you and thank you again. That was delightful. Thank you.
I was, uh... Holy shit, right? Yeah. I'm sitting backstage listening to you guys. Thinking about the mistake you made. No, and all I can think of is, I hope this doesn't cut into my time. Yeah. Sorry. We have run a little long. Let me get to question eight. Oh, my gosh. Oh, this is key. Great. First of all, before you get into the questions... Go, Will. It's so great to see you. Thank you for inviting me. Please. Yes. Yes. All right.
At risk of embarrassing you, I should say that, and I think I speak for Sean, but it is such an honor to have you here. You have always truly been one of my... Oh, please. I know, I know. Oh, please. And I've done your show many, and I've told you that before, but it's true, and I'm so delighted that you're here. I can't believe it. Oh, God bless all of you. Thank you.
I would just like to add that he said he'd speak for me, but I've never said anything like that. No. Well, let me, I have a rundown. I have my own, uh, sort of, uh, uh, document, uh, on you guys, my dossier here. Uh,
When you were first on the show, what I remember about you, I think you were smoking. Yes. Were you really? Yeah. No, no, like I was going in and out of smoking, and you would check in on my various appearances as to whether or not I was smoking at the time. You didn't smoke on the show, though. No, I never smoked on the show, but I did do, you liked it when I went through my various smoking positions. Yes, yes. Which were, I told you I'd quit, but I missed doing the, like, me? Yeah, yeah, sure. Sure.
Like that kind of stuff. Yeah. I mean, that was the hook upon which you were booked. Yes. Yeah. I get it. And extremely funny. And Toronto. I remember that about you. Thank you. Now, yeah. And Sean, the last few times you were on the show, you were doing a musical across the street. Promises, promises. Hold for applause. Yeah. Thank you.
And I don't know if it was between shows or before the show, but you came on with such enviable energy, such good-natured, likable excellence as a human. That's the Coke. Yeah. That's very nice.
Whenever we would be talking after the show, the comment was always, "Why doesn't Sean have his own show?" -Well... -Like a talk show. -I know you've had shows. -Oh, that's so nice. Right? I mean, that would be fantastic.
You thought about it. Yes, I thought about it. That's very kind of you. And if I ever did it, here we go, you are one of the biggest reasons why I would do it. The biggest. Yeah, you are such a huge influence on me and so many people. I know you hate that and you're like, where do I put it? But it's like, it's really, really true. You are, what you said in the opening, a hero of all of us. Thank you. Now, here, now I'll get to you. Now, you were on this show many, many, many times.
And in the, I know you won't believe this, but we had pre-show meetings. Not with me. No, not with you. Everyone was very excited. And then you would come on. You'd be blacked out.
wow, can the guy talk? And I mean, really, we only had an hour show. And then he was so, he had so many stories. And he told them so well. And he had them memorized. It was like talking to Charles Dickens, for God's sake.
And then at 10.45, the people would be in the broadcast center editing because he had gone so long. So that's what I remember about the appearances of the three of you. You were in a blackout, weren't you, most of the time? Oh, I'm in a blackout right now. Now, this is fascinating to hear you say this because I've
I've always wanted to ask you this, or anyone that I have been on a talk show with. Because, so for those that are for Tracy... Tracy! Tracy...
Tracy. Tracy is Sean's sister in Wisconsin. Sean's sister in Wisconsin doesn't understand showbiz lingo. Sometimes we've got to fill her in on the inside baseball. So there is a pre-interview that a guest usually does so that in the absence of a conversational skill, you have a set of predetermined questions and ballpark answers so that the host and the guest can have a palatable interview. Non-existent on this show. Does not exist. Spoken like a robot. Is it? Yeah.
So, now, I, because I, like all of us in this room and across the planet, are a huge fan of Dave Letterman. Oh, stop this. You want to make sure you got your stuff together. So I'd work on what could I possibly talk, what's funny that's happened in my life in the last few weeks. So, I've got some stuff to say. He's doing it now! Yes.
So I would have these stories, and I thought I'm being responsible. Because, by the way, I remember watching you do an interview, maybe it was 60 Minutes or something, where they would say to you, what constitutes a good interview? And you said, and I never forgot it, it drives you nuts when people come on the show and they think that you are lucky to have them sitting in the chair when, in fact, they're lucky to sit in the chair because they're trying to promote something. What time do you have? Yeah, I mean, we're really, I don't know.
I just got a cue from the stage manager. So I always wondered if I went on too long. And now he's telling me I did. All those years. They all know. They listen to the podcast, so they know you go on too long. And Dave knows you go on too long. But we all love you, Jason. Yes, we do. Now...
You also, you also, some of your colleagues visit with a guest before they come out. You never did that when I was... Never would do that, no. I love that. So there was a question 10, 15 minutes ago, are you going to go down and say hi to Dave? And I was like, well, no, he never did that with any of his guests, I think, and so I probably shouldn't. Was that a good decision? Yes, it was absolutely. In my case, I can't speak for the world, but in my case, that was a good decision. Why? Why?
Because you're down, so ten minutes ago, you're down in the dressing room. What are you doing? Everything I know about, well, that's none of your business. But everything I know about running a talk show, I learned from Johnny Carson. And Johnny Carson... He never came back. He was the guy before Jay Leno.
Jay would come back into the room, but Johnny never did. I understand it was like the Rotary Club with Jay. But Johnny would never come down because he always felt like, whether I know the guest or do not know the guest, I want the, oh, hi, welcome to the house moment. And that initial electricity or lack thereof should come naturally. So that's that. That's the point of the whole show.
Can I ask you this? What was your... I'm sure you remember. What was your first meeting like with Johnny? What was that event? Was that because he was hiring you to do the show? Or was it just an appearance, like a regular appearance? The first time I was on The Tonight Show as a guest...
And it's interesting because we're talking about Johnny Carson. Had we been talking about Johnny Carson 30 years ago, the room would be full of a different kind of electricity. Sure, yeah. But for those who didn't experience that, he was, I think, the best ever at the show business late night television talk show format. Without question. And...
If you look at what he did now, the consistency of what this guy did. I mean, it wasn't once a week. It was night after night after night. I will watch reruns with my husband. I'm gay, Dave. I would watch... Still? Yeah, still. I am taking every medication. It's not working. Oh, my God. This is awful.
This is awful. I know, it's an awful time. We need stuff to cut, Dave. So, Dave, me and Scotty, a lot of times, check out old Johnny Carson episodes, and it's amazing how long he spoke to the guest. It was like a 20-minute, 30-minute interview. And are you happy that you didn't have to do that, or would you have preferred to have the time?
Well, that's an excellent question. I think you always would like a little more time, especially if you're enjoying the moment, the guest. But the thing about Johnny, he just was always Johnny. And it didn't make any difference who the guest was or what was going on. You just wanted a chance to...
before you went to sleep to visit with your friend Johnny. And he did that for 30-some years. And there wasn't... I never saw the guy break a sweat. I never saw him miss a beat. But people feel the exact same way about you. They do.
Well, how many... How many... I'd like to see the paperwork on this. How many... And we're going to get into Jason's appearance on Johnny Carson, his first one, in a second. Oh, yeah, there you go. It's great, and I wish we had an image we could pull up because it's tremendous. This is great. But...
How many times did you do the Tonight Show with Johnny before you then, he sort of anointed you as the, you know, to do the late night show? Well, you guest hosted a bunch, yeah? Yep, a few times, maybe a couple of dozen times guest hosting and appearing as a guest on the show. And then we got the 1230 show, which Seth Meyers now has, and Conan O'Brien had that show for a while as well.
I want to tell you something. I've been listening to the show. Come on. Yes, and I had it on when Ryan Reynolds was on. God bless Ryan Reynolds. A great comedian. And I started thinking, oh, this is, I have to talk to him for the little Netflix deal. And I listened to him on your show and I thought, there's no point. This is the best piece of entertainment, not in a film, but in a movie.
with Ryan Reynolds and friends. I just, it depressed me. So today I thought, okay, I'm going to be there in Brooklyn and I'll listen, I'll just listen to another one. And it was Barry Sonnenfeld.
Yeah. Oh, right. I know. And he was on your show a lot. Yes. And we loved him. Talk about a guy that had to have a little editing. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. They're still working on his last segment. You know the story about his getting, when he first started in pornography as a young cameraman. And that story, which was about five minutes on our show, was 40 minutes. And we all agreed that even for us, we thought, there's no way. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
My mom can't hear this story. Yeah, we pulled it out. No one will ever hear it. It's the most repulsive story you could ever imagine. It is repulsive. We rarely do that. Yeah. So the same thing with this. I know Barry Sonnenfeld, as Will mentioned, and I couldn't finish listening to it because it was so good and I thought, oh, I'm going to go out there and just dump all over their show and
And I tell you what I love about it is the theme music for the podcast. Right? Yeah. It's great. It's catchy. They haven't put the bar too high. No, no. It's great, Dad. Like we are. You know the show can live up to that. That's right.
And then the very Sonnenfeld one, you were in London. Yes. And I'm thinking this is the example of why radio ruled the world before television. Yeah, yeah. Instantly now, I'm envisioning myself being in London and you guys, I assume, are on the West Coast. Yeah, yeah. Didn't really come to mind. In slippers. But Will...
Slippers, slippers and PJs. But I just, I was delighted by it. But then again, the interview with Barry Sonnenfeld was so good, I couldn't finish that one either. I'm sorry. Now, are you loving doing long-form conversations as opposed to the 10-minute sprints? Well, there's two different things here.
Yes, the longer the better. But, you know, they're two different machines. The talk show is, understand you had trouble on the airplane coming in from L.A. That's the talk show. Yeah. And then the longer form is, have you ever seen an airplane? That's a whole different story. It's a little roomier in that house. And we will be right back. All right, back to the show.
When you decide who you want to talk to, are you... Because, like, for us, it's obviously, it's see if...
if hero X, Y, or Z is interested in talking to us, and/or who could we learn something from because we are less than smart. How do you go about deciding who you want to talk to? It's the same. Everything is a compromise. And sometimes you're pleased with a compromise, sometimes you have to take one and wait your turn. That's the most difficult part about it. I'm guessing
you gentlemen perhaps do not have the obstacles that we sometimes have getting guests for our show because-- - Hang on. - No, no, because I wanna say, everybody I knew when they, because people, they're surprised to see me. They say, "Well, what are you gonna do?" And I mentioned this, oh my goodness.
For some reason, people really embrace the idea of the show. I don't get it. That's a good point, for some reason. That's the part that sticks out. It's so beautiful because it's so organic because I believe you are friends from a previous existence. Yes, we're three. And we did start it genuinely so that we could spend time with each other. During COVID, before the pandemic. And that was quite legitimate. And we did set the bar very low. It was very DIY and it's still...
for all intents and purposes, is the way we do the show, the way we put it together. - Do it myself. Do it myself, thank you. - And we try to keep resetting the bar as low as possible. And that's what I wish I could go back
and tell my parents in high school how important it was to keep the bar low. That's what, I was building to this. You know what I mean? It's, it's like being in the Admirals Club waiting for a flight and you hear three people genuinely interesting and friendly talking to one another. But you had, you had,
You had ratings to tell you, oh, there are people watching your show. We literally opened up our laptops again in our pajamas doing this. Had no idea if people were listening to this. And then you nice people bought tickets to a tour, which was the only verification we had that people were listening. It's a little absurd. So thank you very much. It is absurd. Dave, I, you know. Oh, search for it. Let's pull it over to the side. This is great.
You really, really honored the man. It's not, you know, everybody... Let me help you out. Favorite color. You know, Dave, I don't know if you know that Sean was nominated...
for a host of the year. Host of the year! Host of the year, iHeartRadio podcast host of the year. And again, not to belabor it, but Sean sent Jason and me a text saying, hey guys, congrats, we were nominated for this award. And the second sentence highlights the fact that he was nominated for host of the year.
To which Jason and I responded, well, congrats, I guess. Yeah, he didn't read the body of the email, just the headline that we'd gotten a couple nominations. Well, and the most joyous part of that whole thing was... You losing. That's right. You lost. Who wins host of the year? Who wins host of the year? I have no idea. No, no, no, seriously, who won? I'm being serious, I have no idea. Well, you're a nominee, you should know. Yeah.
You've been nominated. Do you know all the people in your category? Yes, I do. They're all pinned up on your wall. Yes. And most of them are Jon Stewart. You know, the grind of a talk show that you, the Late Night with David Letterman,
everybody knows the grind is just you work your balls off like five days a week. You're always there. Everybody knows that. And because of that, you tend to have a more reclusive life. And we all, people are kind of amazed when you appear anywhere because it's like, oh my God, Dave, it's like a magic trick. It's like somebody pulled you. Respond to these accusations that you're a recluse. Oh my God, he's walking upright. Yeah.
But so what do you think has changed since your show, you chose to end your show from then and now? Have you evolved into, other than your Netflix show, other than business-wise, what do you reflect upon now and think differently about? Your Honor, could I hear the question again, please? Is that what I sound like? Oh, no, no, that was not even close. That was better. So it's worse than that. That was Reader's Digest compared to you.
Well, I'm going to start... While you're answering, I'm going to start studying my questions here for a second. I don't know exactly what to say. Yes, that's okay. That's okay. I just think, like, are you more open to things that you weren't now that you may have not been? Well, I realize that, and perhaps the three of you feel the same, and I hope not, when you have a show...
And I don't know that it's like that now, but I was so single-minded that I shut out a lot of other experiences in my life that I should have been enjoying. Well, this is what I'm talking about, David. Well, I wish you had said that. Easy. Just stop pressing him.
Why are you making this so contentious, Sean? If you want to lay down for the rest of the therapy, I can go sit over there. But I will say that, you know, many, many things are more important to me now than I knew they were when I had a show. And I think that's lopsided. So that's a regret of being on the air that long. I feel like we're skirting around family. Let's talk about family, Dave. Okay. Okay.
No, let's talk about... You're talking about your family? What about... What about your sister? Thank you. Her name's Tracy. She's gonna... You wanna come to Madison? I love... I've been to Madison. University of Wisconsin. Beautiful. Yeah. Uh, yeah, we're going there. Yeah, I'm so excited we're gonna... Now, uh, I used to love you talking about your drive to work in your monologue. Did you drive here today?
I rode here. You rode here today. Did we send a car? Someone did. Okay. Now, do you... Sorry, I thought you meant a motorcycle. I legitimately did. I wish. Oh, you know how I got here? On my Harley. No, no. You got motorcycles. And I wish it was on a Harley. No, I came on my motorcycle, my Harley Davidson today. That's not true. No. No. Yeah, I know.
But you've got some. Yeah, but when you get to be my age, every time you get on one, you think, oh, I shouldn't be on this. Right. And so they are less ridden than they used to be. Do you still like driving fast?
Yes, I do, but I don't anymore. I lost my license for a month because of driving fast, and that took it right out of me. Because... On the Merritt. On the Merritt Parkway, yes. It's a great road to drive quickly on. How fast... Fans of Connecticut highways. Hey, yeah. How fast were we going?
The fastest I've gone in a passenger car, there's two figures. There's the European number and then there's the Long Island Expressway number. Long Island Expressway, 140. Autobahn, 150. Nice. Wow. Nice. Now, don't you agree? Nice. I like it a lot. I think that makes a lot of sense, right? No, it makes no sense. There's no speed limit. Jason, tell him, you're a very, Jason has won the,
Oh, please. No, come on. It's a cheesy celebrity race. You won the... Oh, the Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix. You did that, didn't you? I never did it because I knew I would make a fool of myself. Oh, I'll bet you wouldn't. But you won the race? I did pretty well. First, one year, second, and third. I don't like to brag.
Wow. So you were on the podium three years in a row? I don't know if they were consecutive. Yeah, I know. Come on. And, Jason, you're not going to switch the subject. And in a non-celebrity race, you also partook in a professional race in the Poconos, am I right? Yes, we did Lime Rock. Lime Rock, yep. And then the Poconos, I got in a spill. Because?
Because some dingbat got in a crash in front, and then I had to go through the wreckage, flipped over, and the wheel well came up. The wheel came up through the wheel well, smashed my ankle, broke a bone, only broken bone I've ever had. And then I said, I'm going to leave this to the professionals. I'll go back to the cheesy stuff. Well, he illustrates exactly what kept me from doing this sort of thing. He's exactly right. Now, were you on the oval at Pocono? No.
The tri-oval. The tri-oval. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get some speed going there. But speaking of speed, don't you think... What kind of car were you in? This was a sport truck series, so it's pickup trucks but lowered. It's not... God, that's so on brand. There is nothing... Right? Nothing impressive. Nothing more exciting than watching trucks race. Woo. Woo.
Where do I get my season pass? So from the excitement of car racing to something truly mundane, I really want to know, what did you do today? What do you do every day? Now that's what I'm interested in. I want to know what's just a normal day for Dave. Are you an early riser? Let's start there. No, not an early riser. Really? I go to bed late. I stay up late watching climbing movies. Oh. No, no, shut up, Will. Will, stop.
Oh, God. He loves any of the foreign crime shows on Netflix with subtitles. He'll talk to you till your ears bleed about that or climbing stuff. Yeah, but wait. What about Solo? Did you see Solo? Free Solo. Free Solo, sorry. This is years ago for me. Han Solo. No, no, no. Free Solo. Free Solo. I'm down to watching Slovakian people climb their way through the Tatras.
in English subtitles. And I don't know why. I know Alex Honnold like he's a member of the family. Yeah, sure. And I can't stop watching them. That's the free solo guy, Alex Honnold. Yeah, he's amazing. He's been on the show, eh?
Hey. No, he's a Canadian. That's a Canadian. Sorry. Now, there's something about Mount... But he should be on the show. He should be on the show, and the 100-foot wave, too. Sorry, just the... That's incredible. In Portugal, yeah. Anytime you see these people who are doing incredible things, and the other guy who... Yeah, 14 peaks. Excellent, yeah. And we're good. And, um...
Now, there is something about Mount Everest that has... Did you get heckled a lot last night with the physicist? Well, we did. I mean, if, you know, the sound of seats emptying counts as heckling, I'm sure. Forgive me. Apparently, there were quite a few people that left. Let's go, Carol. Get your purse, Ellen.
There is something about Mount Everest that's like a magical draw to me. Do you have a Mount Everest draw at all? Well, I know quite a lot about Mount Everest from the two dozen films I've watched about climbing Mount Everest. Would you? Oh, God, no. Really? What do you like about it? I don't know. Yeah.
I don't, I just, I just don't know. Somebody seeing a challenge through like that kind of a hefty lift? Yes, the scenery, typically lovely, and the kind of things I will not see probably in my lifetime, regrettably. Yeah, I felt that way like when I went to Paris for the first time. I was like, well, there's the Eiffel Tower. It's just like every movie in postcards. Got it. I'm ready to go.
Well, when you're climbing Mount Everest, every film about climbing Mount Everest... I'm sorry, did I lean on your laugh there? No. It wasn't going to get higher. So you would not... What about just base camp? No, no, good Lord, no. It's just a helicopter ride. No, it's not. Helicopters can't fly above 20,000 feet because the air is so thin. No, no, no, but they do rescues that are higher than that, right? No. No? No.
God. Rescues above that elevation are rarely successful. But you get into what they call the death zone. The death zone, yeah. Where your body starts consuming itself. Yeah. And the air is so thin and you lose your voice and you get dizzy and you get block-headed. And I heard one man describe he was coughing up tissue from his own throat. So you see why I can't live without him. LAUGHTER
David. That's great. Now, you don't do climbing, right? I don't do climbing either. My dad climbed Kilimanjaro when he was about 73, which is not huge yet. Oh, it's a big deal. But it's pretty big. 19,000 feet. What? Yeah.
I always tell these guys stuff about my dad and they're like, what? And I'm like, well, you never, and it turns out they never ask. Yeah. My dad wrote a book during quarantine. He wrote a novel. That you bored us with earlier. Yeah. Fiction, non-fiction? Fiction, but based on a true story. You guys never ask about my dad. Well...
It's not a happy story. How do you describe a black hole? Like, you know what I mean? Well, it's just tire screeching. Speaking of speeding away, yeah.
We don't mean... Sean, he invites this day, by the way. Just in case you think we're being cruel. Yeah, yeah. He set me up for that. I feel like I came on a bad night. I know, you did come on a bad night. I wanted to ask you, just to get out of climbing for a second and go back to just... Because I'm fascinated with when you started and you started doing late night. And in fact, I think you, and correct me if I'm wrong, started actually in a daytime show in the hosting capacity. I used to watch it
All the time. It was on NBC at like 9 in the morning. Yes. Yeah. I used to watch it as a kid. I was fascinated by you. Yeah. Like, because nobody was doing that kind of comedy, especially during the day in the morning. But you started, and you got that job coming out of, you were a stand-up for many years. And what was that transition like? Did you know at that moment you were saying goodbye to your stand-up career and that you were going a different direction? Yeah. In...
In my day, those days, a long time ago, it was much easier to know what you were going to do and know how to get there. And so I knew that if I wanted to get a television show, I had to go to California and start doing stand-up. And then you get on The Tonight Show, and then if you're lucky, other things happen. And that's exactly what happened for me. So where did doing the weather in Indianapolis fit into that plan?
That was my nascent television career. So that was the door that was open happened to be the weather door. Yes. And did you enjoy that?
I just enjoyed, first of all, not a meteorologist, did not know anything about the weather, still really don't. But it was, you know, I was like 20 years old and they put me on TV. So that's kind of what I enjoyed. And then I knew that this is what I wanted to do with my life, not this necessarily. Nobody, nobody wants to do this. It's only about 15 minutes more.
And so then I went to California and I got this show and we moved to New York and it was, like Sean said, it was 90 minutes live. Yeah. And within a month, the NBC daytime television network collapsed.
and affiliates were running. They were selling their stations. They were burning things. Insurance people were investigating, all because of me and my friends. And I don't know how you guys felt about your entree to show business, but you made a life of it when you were a job. I'm trying, Dave. No, no, but I mean, along... You were born to it. Ish. Yeah. How old were you... Sorry, Jason. How old were you, your first professional engagement in show business? Little House on the Prairie. Little House... Does that...
That he knows that? He knows that. How does that feel, Jason? It's going to take me a while to get over that. I remember seeing you on a couple of silver spoons. Oh, yeah. But Dave, did you think that you were going to do, when you moved out to California as a stand-up, did you have aspirations to be an actor, to do a sitcom? Was that something that was... No. What I wanted to do was... Who wants to do those? LAUGHTER
Me? No. No, I just knew I wanted Johnny Carson's job. Right, right. So you always knew that. If not his job, a job like that. Because I can't do anything other than that. We talk about that a lot. When you're that young, knowing exactly what you want to do, your odds go up that you will achieve that because you're so focused on a goal, isn't that right?
But what made you... No, no, I'm going to yes and it. I'm going to yes and it. Johnny was so good at so many things, and one of them was his kindness and conservative sort of approach to certain things. He was very unthreatening. Sexy indifference. Sexy indifference.
It was very unthreatening in the best way. Now, your sense of humor has got this incredibly awesome, hilarious edge, sarcasm, dryness to it, which is near and dear to my heart. What made you confident that you would be able to make a career of that without America being afraid of it? He's trying to say, why did you think you could be in showbiz? Oh, thank you.
Well, I was... I had horrible grades in school. I knew I wasn't going anywhere academically. And I had a speech class my sophomore year in high school where the first thing you had to do in speech class, stand up and give us an impromptu five-minute introductory speech. I did that, and when I sat down, I realized...
Oh, I know exactly what I want to do. So the schooling of it made no difference. And then later I figured out a way to do that. So as you point out, a rare comment on your part. He does listen to the show. It's amazing. It's so flattering. And I feel bad for a lot of people who just don't know what they want to do because it's
If you do know that, it's a true gift. Yeah, I agree. But then you were able to take that sense of humor and you do your show and somebody sits down in that guest chair and they're not being a good guest. And I'll bet that incredibly sharp, caustic sort of sense of humor in the best sense of the word...
starts to fire and you have to start this self-edit of how nasty can I be to this person? Because they deserve it and America that's watching knows they deserve it, but you've got to kind of calibrate it. What is that process? Well, wait really quick. One of the funniest examples of that in history is the Joaquin Phoenix when you just couldn't get anything out of him. Or Crispin Glover or Paris Heltner. I think your line was, well, I'm sorry you couldn't make it tonight.
Cute. We'll be right back. And now, back to the show.
And then the opposite would be true. The opposite would be, he did the nicest thing for me once. We're doing the interview and I said something that was unkind to someone in my family. I thought it was funny and I could say it because they were in my family. And the audience roared with laughter.
We go to commercial and then Dave leans over and he goes, "So what we're gonna do is I'm gonna reintroduce you. You're gonna come out and we're gonna cut that career canceling comment you just made." And I said, "Which part?" He goes, "You remember when you called such and such a such and such?"
but they love that. He goes, you're not going to love it. We're going to redo the top. And I came back, he reintroduced me, I came back, we reshot the whole beginning. How many times have you done, that was such a nice thing you did for me. Not, that was the only time you ever did it. Didn't have to do it much, had to do it quite a lot with myself. Truly? Oh yeah. I was going to ask you, do you remember those vividly, the top, do you have the top ten? Boy, I would,
And I'm not asking. Sure. Yeah, we live in fun times. I remember this was a thing Sarah Palin... Near and dear. Near and dear. Remind me, remind me. This was a joke I told Sarah Palin and one of her daughters had been at Yankee Stadium. Already funny. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER
And I think she had two daughters at the time. I don't know the state of the family now, but at the time, I think there were two. And there was a younger one and an older one. I assumed that it had been the older of the two. What's the matter? I'm loving every more celebic. Keep going.
So I assumed it was the older daughter. And there was a, the joke was some clumsy suggestion that Alex Rodriguez had made a move on the daughter. Later, I find out, to my embarrassment, that it was, in fact, the younger daughter. This joke, entirely inappropriate. Okay. So now, I... Oh, I remember this. So she was south of 18. I don't know her age. I just know that I had made a mistake. Mm-hmm.
So I thought long and hard, and we had meetings on it, and we crafted an apology to Sarah Palin and her family and to everyone at Yankee Stadium.
Did they respond? Well, here's what happened. Now, I do the opening, and you can just feel the leaden sense of dread in the theater because I'm about to pour my guts out apologizing, and it deserved an apology. It was stupid, ignorant, more than stupid, which is better, by the way.
Ignorant. Ignorant, yeah. So I went through the, I'm so sorry and I didn't mean to and please forgive me, Sarah, and your beautiful daughter, Tiffany. And we go to commercial and they come back and they said, her name is Sharon. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER
Did you say you had an apology for the apology? Yeah, then we had to do the whole thing again, which was now, you know, nobody wants to sit through the nearly tearful apology twice. Yeah, sure. So you have the luxury of being a slight tape delay where you can go back and you can catch something like that.
Have you ever done that? Which? I did Conan once, and I was driving when he was doing, after the Tonight Show, the Conan show, and I was driving back. We had done a bit in the opening, and I thought, boy, I'm going to spend a lot of time writing an apology in the right column of the Huffington Post next week.
about why this joke, and so I called and I just said, can you just take it out? And they did, and it was a great joke. Did you get requests like that from guests? Oh, yeah. In those days, it would be, you would hear about it the next week from their publicist. Sure, yeah. Or when you would try to make the booking again six months later, you would hear about it from the publicist. I said this one thing that we had to get cut out, which we'll cut out of this too, is...
-Yeah, no, it was just like a flippin' remark. -They might be recording, and they won't cut it. -Yeah. -So, ixnay on the evening. -Very good. Very good. -Now, what about-- -Well, they're not supposed to be sorry. -What was the joke? Can you tell the joke? -All right, if you don't tell anyone... -You know... -Go, Sean. ...by the way, this was-- this was-- I'm guessing this was ten years ago, too, and it was, uh, it was just a joke that was, again, it's a-- I thought a great joke. By the way, if he gets canceled, Dave, will you fill in for Will? Sure. No.
He doesn't own a laptop. Oh. So that's the requirement of the gig, is just owning a laptop. What were you doing in London, by the way?
I was writing. I was doing a rewrite on a script with a film with Chappie. I don't know if people remember Chappie. I remember the name from the show. Yeah, my writing partner. So we were doing it. Dave, you just missed kind of, I mean, we just touched on it, you kind of missed that cancel culture just at the end. Yes, it was happening, but not at the rate it's happening now. Right. Right? That's all. Yeah, do you think the writing... No, no, no. Do you think that your writing process... Good point. Good point.
Careful with the good point. But...
Slow down. And then he said, good point. Do you think your writing process with your staff each night would have been different in today's culture? Yes, without question. Absolutely. And my personal feeling about this is... Careful. And you hear quite a lot of discussion about, oh, are we too woke? Are we canceling too quickly? Are we overcorrecting? And I feel like, you know, let's overcorrect and see what happens. Who the hell cares? Sure, yeah.
The worst that happens is, oh, we've overcorrected, and then it'll recorrect. But there are many, many things a person needs to be smart and sensitive about that heretofore perhaps we were not. Two of my favorite guests that you had on your show a lot. One was your first guest and your last guest, Bill Murray, and the other was...
Yeah. And the other one was the incredible, and I was fortunate to know a tiny bit, Charles Grodin. Can you talk a little bit about those two guys? Well, Bill Murray will put you in business. He was in Boston last night. I don't know why you didn't use him. No. He's playing golf at Pebble Beach. Oh, playing golf. I'm sorry. Okay, I got some bad info. Oh.
We couldn't make Bill's deal last night. No, Bill puts you in business, and he did it on our first show at 10.30, I think, or no, 12.30, whenever. Depending on time zone. And then he came on the failed morning show. Bill came on, and Steve Martin came on the failed morning show also. And it was people like this that...
gave us a lifeline because they were so, and still are beloved and generous. And to come on these two guys and, and, and just a miserable little smoking rag of snot, uh,
Sure. Yeah. Was... You're talking about them? No, no, I'm talking about my show. You want to be clear? No, my show. Oh, got it. No, it was great. And so in every case, having Bill on the first show was lovely. And did it make you feel like you're making us feel right now like a validation beyond your wildest expectations?
We're real happy you're here. I'm happy to be here. I loved Bill then, and I love Bill now, and he's never... He was always on the show, and he was always generous with...
with his friendship and his talent for me and the show. - Such a brilliantly hilarious guy. Another guy that of course we all-- - Easily hilarious. That never works hard. - Well there are certain people, I always describe them, they have no choice in the matter. Bill has no choice but to be funny. Will Ferrell, whom we had on our first night in DC. - Yep, there you go. - Has no choice but to be funny. Marty Short may be the funniest person on the planet. - Oh my God. - He has no choice in the matter. He wakes up and that's his disposition.
But I was also going to say, and Jason brought up, we'd been talking about Charles Grodin. Jason did a film with him, and he was an incredible, incredibly funny guy, an incredibly good actor. And what I always loved about his appearances on your show is he came in with a point of view. Mm-hmm.
So he had a story, which was often that he was not pleased about being on the show. Yes, that's right. And then somehow, immediately, even you saying, welcome to the show, he was really put off by that. Yeah, that's right. And did that kind of, he set up a parameters of a game for the two of you. Yeah, it was delightful, but that model, that template comes from his appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Ah, yeah.
And he would go on with Carson, and his point of view with Carson was, you don't know anything. You're wealthy. You don't go anywhere. You have people do everything for you. And then he would start with Johnny. For example, what's a quart of milk cost? You don't know.
You don't know what a quart of milk costs. And he would just run Johnny around the theater like that. And the feeling was that, ooh, there's bad blood. But no, they both loved it. And it was the same dynamic that he brought to our show. That must have been one of those examples of a guest who, when they came on, they made the show better. And you were so grateful that he had been there that night. That's exactly right. And you mentioned Marty Short. Oh, my goodness. This guy...
Marty, Marty. You're right, can't help but be funny. Can't help, and I love, because he does it all, it's an old bit, but he'll walk into Sean's house and go, I can't believe you live here. I mean, I've seen your work. I can't believe. You know, just. True. That's all he does. By the way, by the way, every time, every time I laugh. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Of course. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. When are you. Canadian. Yeah, very Canadian.
Yeah, we seem to have a lot of Canadians here tonight. Listen, I don't want to take any more of your time. You're just an incredible guy. I mean, no... Listen, you know... 58 minutes into this, you don't want to take any more of my time? Um...
I just can't tell you, just me personally, I don't want to speak for these two. This is a peak in my life and will be hard to be topped. Thank you so much for saying this.
You're way too kind. No, seriously. I concur. I think the first time I did your show, I think it was the first time that my parents really believed that I was in show business. Yes. And it's been an absolute thrill to get to know you. Everyone, Sean, did I leave you out? Did I leave something loving to say about me? No, I do. It's a longer reach, but go ahead. Yes.
No, I... You should have your own talk show. Okay, well... Here we go. By the way, so Sean... No, I just want to...
I want to say... You were going to have a talk show. Who knows what's happening? So, listen... Wait a minute, you can't keep something like that from these guys. From all these guys. No, who knows? They're not going to say anything. No, I echo what Will said about... Yeah, no, about... And I know you've heard... I know your reaction whenever there's praise that, you know, it's always, I get who you are, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You know, this sounds... Stop rolling your eyes. No, but I really want to, because I'm never going to have this time again to say this to your face, but I echo what Will said. The first time you go on Late Night with David Letterman was the first time you know you made it. Yeah. Because, and then if you did well, you came back again and again, and you always had me back, and it was such a, every time was like,
was just like now. I just can't believe I'm in your presence because I revere you so much. Well, you're so kind. But I...
Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you didn't... You guys weren't guests on the show by accident. No, I was. We love... I was, yeah. You were an actor? Yeah. Somebody canceled at the last minute. I know, it's always going to happen. I will say there was about five or six years where I was lucky enough to be doing a couple of talk shows and I kept hearing from... I was like, maybe try to get on David... No, he doesn't... Doesn't like kids or doesn't want kids on... No, no, didn't say that. Well, it... Like, I had to...
Wow. Yeah. Yeah. If you're too young, it's like, but so when finally it was the yes, it was like, oh my God. When you were old enough to be on the show. Wait, I'm going to, I'm going to really embarrass you. Last thing, this is going to embarrass the shit out of you. I, you know, you did something, you did something. Oh, goody.
You had... We were ending on such a high note. I took it down, you're going to take it further. You were on Alec Baldwin's podcast a long time ago, and you said during the interview, you said, we just had Sean Hayes, who was doing a show called, I don't know, Hi-Ho Promises across the street. And you said, God, was he funny. He's one of the funniest people. And I saved that clip, and it's still on my phone. Really? Yes. And...
So I will say this. Now, I'm going to admit something. I moved into... Still not gay. No. What's happening? I moved into a new house, and... And I had a bunch of photos that were on my laptop, and I created a file to print some photos, a lot of photos of the kids, et cetera, to put up outside the boys' rooms. And one of them that I put up to be printed was a photo of...
I guess somebody sent me from your show and I was sitting on the chair just like that, we did at the top, where I was mimicking smoking and
The thrill to me was that you, I was doing this bit and you were laughing. And it is figures prominently in my hall amongst, with my family and you. This is a true story. If my boys were here, they would attest to this. Because it was such a monumental moment in my life. So thank you. There's some pathology behind that. But,
How old are your kids? I have three boys. I have a 13-year-old, Archie, and I have an 11-year-old, Abel, and I have a 20-month-old, Denny. Very nice. Very good for you. Thank you. And you? All of this, I'm not sure their names, but I think it's 50. He's been making Ozark for the last six years. We love Ozark.
You know, he's become a very successful, not just actor, and we all love him, he's become a really successful and incredibly talented director. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And now it's true. - What are we doing? - This is the same time. - No, you are a successful-- - No, no, no. - We talk about show business, you are-- - It needs to be talked about. - Yeah, you started as a kid on, and I give you a lot of shit, but you started as a kid on Little House on the Prairie, and now you've become a really successful and very talented director.
You're a nice man. You know, what's interesting about this is show business just is a meat grinder. And to begin when you're a child is one thing. To begin when you're a child and then grow and evolve into a continuing success in other and every area of show business, virtually impossible. Yes, yes, for sure. Well, uh,
And Sean? You and Opie is about the only... I'm going to read your Wikipedia page. Thank you. Well, it's easy when you have a North Star of incredibleness like yourself, sir. Let's please all thank the one and only Dave Letterman. So nice to see you, Will. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much, Jason. I hope I didn't screw this up for you. Oh, my God. Sean? Thank you.
Always a pleasure, my friend. Thank you. Now, I'm going out here. Take as many cuts as you'd like. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks again. It was a lot of fun. I appreciate that. Thank you, Jason. Thank you. I mean... I mean, so crazy. You guys got Dave Letterman! Yeah. I, uh...
This is, I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this, but I legitimately, just telling him that story and then him looking me in the face as I'm telling that, I almost started to cry. - Same, same. - I saw you, I saw him start to cry. - I did. - Willy's really soft. - Same, same. I was like, should I tell him this and I'm gonna break down, it's gonna be embarrassing. So, but you know what, did you notice what he did on the way out? - No. - Which was really cool. He did the same thing that he did on his talk show where he goes like this and he just goes, hey, thanks for coming, thanks for coming, I really appreciate it. Hey, thanks for coming, I really appreciate it.
I love that. I don't know about you guys. I mean, I know you guys. As a teenager, you know, as a guy who's, you know, 50 or whatever, doesn't matter how old I am. But growing up in the 80s, the thing to do was, on weeknights, was to stay up late enough to watch Late Night with David. Before he did The Late Show on CBS, which was also amazing. But to do that, and he was so much of...
the things that I loved about comedy were formed from watching him. - Yeah, for sure. For sure, all of us. - And just so that you guys know, not that this is about us, 'cause it's about all of us, but just so that you guys know-- - Since when is it not about us? - This was an enormous thing for us. Like, the fact that he said yes, I mean, he said yes to do this, he said yes to do this because
People, listen to it. That's you guys. So thank you for doing this for us. And how would he sign off at the end of the night? No, Sean, no. What I'm just asking. Give us a second. Let it breathe. I'm just saying, I can't remember how he would. Just knowing that he's still out there speeding along all those highways. And byways!
Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. Smart Less. Smart Less. Smart Less is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Rob Armjarv, Bennett Barbico, and Michael Granteri. Smart Less.
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