"Matthew Rhys"
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Sorry that you guys caught me off guard. I was just talking to Jason's wig maker, and he had said that they don't make the hair that Jason uses for the wig anymore because it's a synthetic thing and it has to do with, because they use a certain petroleum component to it, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, the point is, if you see Jason on the street, just please say, hey, man, your natural hair looks great.

It's an all-new SmartLess. Are you guys excited?

I'm excited. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes. Are you talking about we're on the TV? Yeah, with the doc. We're going to be on TV. I told my whole family. Smartless on the road. Smartless on the road. On Max. On Max, that new platform.

Yes. Should we do, should we watch it together? Let's watch it together. That would be super fun. Oh, God, that's not a bad idea. I'm really excited. I'm excited for people to see Will Ferrell. It sounds weird to say, well, yeah, I'm excited for people to see, well, we have so many great guests. Yeah, say some of the guests. We have Will Ferrell. Will starts it off, though, doesn't he? Will starts it off, then we have Conan. Yeah. Kevin Hart. Uh.

Letterman. Hang on, hang on. Then we have Letterman. Then we have AOC with special appearance by, can we mention that Bradley makes a special appearance? Bradley Cooper comes in and changes the light for us. And then we go to Chicago. We have Andy Richter and Jeff Tweedy from Wilco. Mark Cuban. Mark Cuban. And then...

Who else have we got? Matty Damon. Matt Damon, the Matt Damon. Yeah, a turtle, quartal, whortle, perennial, third place finisher, Matt Damon. And then one of the biggest guests of the entire tour is Tracy from Wisconsin. Tracy from Wisconsin comes on.

Tracy, Sean's sister. My sister, yeah. Oh, Sean's sister makes an incredible appearance. Yeah, it was really good. And doesn't your mother's right eye make an appearance as well? Your mother's eye makes an appearance too. It's all true. By the way, it's all true. And you can see it. Get it?

Don't get it. On Max, smartless, on the road. Check it out. I'm glad you asked because I don't think they get it. And then, by the way, we come back to L.A. and then we end here with Kimmel. With Kimmel and Kevin Hart. I mean, we get to have, what a soft landing to come back and have our good buddy Jimmy

And then Jan makes an appearance. And God, I mean. And then what's the final meal of the whole thing? Oh, yeah. Then we're over at Shawnee's house for some. Oh, we go to Shawnee's, right. Was it spaghetti and meatballs? Sloppy Joe's. We went to Sloppy Joe's. Sloppy Joe's. I made Sloppy Joe's from scratch for you guys. Yeah. It's all on the dock. It's all on the dock. Are we watching it at your house? Yeah, let's watch it. Let's watch it. We'll watch it on Max. It's so fun. I think, I hope people like, who knows. But. Well,

We hope. It looks real good, too. Sam Jones did a great job directing it. It looks real handsome. It's black and white. I hope people like it. It's what? It's May 23rd, right? May 23rd on Max. Okay.

I have a crazy story that happened. I told Will, I said I was going to save it to tell you today. You have some pre-show patter? Yeah. You know Sean. Go ahead, Sean. No, this is crazy. Sean, what have you prepared? I've prepared this. Sean, by the way, not to interrupt, but speaking of prepared, there's somebody preparing something in the kitchen behind you. Yeah, Scott is going to make me some tea right now. Okay. Tea? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you fasting? He's on Broadway, man. He's on Broadway.

I'm on the Broadway. Oh, to keep your pipes nice and lubricated? Mm-hmm. Well, it is one o'clock there. What was for lunch today? I just had a... I can't wait. I had a, what's it called, like a Kaiser roll with egg and cheese and a little bacon.

Apple juice. I had, what do they call it? Like a footlong sub. A Kaiser roll. Kaiser. Yeah. Where do you have to go to get that? Downstairs. Like a bread shop. Downstairs. Downstairs. No, Zabar's, Kaiser. Zabar's is a Jewish deli. We live right, you know, near it.

And then there's a cafe and they don't do bagels with egg. You'd think they would do bagels because they sell bagels in the store part, but not the cafe part, which is really crazy. You got to go full Kaiser. Yeah. All right. All right. So this is the story. This is crazy. This is going to blow your mind. I think it blew my mind.

So the show takes place in 1958 backstage at the Tonight Show. Oscar Levant is the guest on the Tonight Show that night. The other guest, which we never see, we only reference a lot, is Jane Mansfield. Sure. Okay? Who was, you know, this big star back in the 50s. Marilyn Monroe, Jane Mansfield, very similar. So Mariska Hargitay, you know Mariska Hargitay? I do. Sure. Yeah, she's the star of the SVU thing.

Oh, thanks, Scotty. Hey, Scotty. So she's the star of this show for like 20-some years, right? So she's like, I'm outside of your theater. Come out. I'm like, oh, my God. I came out, gave her a hug, said hello. We took a photo. And somebody in the show whispers in my ear, her mom is Jane Mansfield. I go, wait a minute.

Yeah. Well, Mariska Hargitay's mom. I go, your mom is Jane Mansfield. I go, do you know that we referenced your mom in this show over and over again? Did your mom know Oscar Levin? She's like, I don't, I don't know. You know, unfortunately she was very young when her mom died. So then we go back and we say her byes. I go back in the theater and I forgot. I text her. I go, by the way, your mom made her Broadway debut in this theater that we're working in right now. No.

Isn't that crazy? Crazy, crazy. Yeah. So did you at least offer her tickets to the show? No, she's got to pay for those. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can give her access to the house. I can get her. Her dad was Mickey Hargitay, who was like a bodybuilder guy from Hungary. How do you know that? I know that. Because he just Googled it. No, I didn't. I knew that before. Wait, why do you know vague Hungarian bodybuilders? Yeah.

Look, do you want to see my magazine collection or not? No, I don't want to see your search history either. I do. I actually do. I read somebody in my search history the other day. It was such a bonkers, all over the map. I go, here, do you want to know what I've been searching up the last 24 hours? And it was just the weirdest, stupidest stuff.

I want to say just because I want to be, and I don't want to bring it down, but I got to be honest about where I'm at, if that's okay. Yes, yes. Today, and then we can switch gears. Is that okay? Yes, of course it is. It's very real. Do you want me to say? Do you want me to describe it? My oldest friend in the world, Jeremy, passed away.

-Oh. -And I loved him so much. Oh, Will, I'm so sorry. And, uh-- Yeah, you just found out yesterday, huh? Yeah. And, um-- -Fuck. -Oh, God. I'm so sorry. And I just gotta be honest about it 'cause it's what's going on in my head. And I just wanted to say that I just love the guy so much. And it's so-- Jason and I were talking today, this morning, and it's funny, we always get surprised

When people say it's such a surprise, such a shock, and we know that the deal is that everybody's going to die at some point. We're here for five minutes. Yeah. He passed suddenly, Will? You know, the last few weeks kind of came out of nowhere, certainly, and then he finally passed. And I'm happy he did. He was, you know, obviously he was in a lot of pain. And just thinking about his family and all of them, and I've known them forever and forever,

You know, his daughter and his wife and his parents, who my parents knew, and our great-grandparents knew each other. Our families are intertwined for generations. So Jeremy was up in Toronto? He was in Toronto, yeah. And he was one of the great guys. I always say he's a first ballot Hall of Famer. Just a great guy. You could always rely on him. And I miss him. And, you know, you never...

And I was just thinking this morning, and I was taking the kids to school, and I was just thinking like, oh, man, hug the people you love. Yeah. Tell them as much as you can. And if you're thinking about somebody, call them. Let them know. Right. Just let them know you're thinking about them. You love them how important they are to you. I love that. And I just wanted to say that because it's on my mind, and I love you guys so much. We love you. We love you, too. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, um, it is, you're right. It is this sort of like, we're always shocked that people die, but everyone here is going to, everyone listening will. And it's like, it's a terrible thought. And we somehow have managed this little device inside our head and our heart to kind of put it in a little box and keep it away and deal with it at near the end of our life. Um, we just kind of pretend it's not ever going to happen, but

Oh, it does. And we just hope we use our time correctly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. You know, I, I just did this, I just did this article, uh, this interview and Jay, you were so kind. I just read it. You said such nice things about me and I appreciate it. I appreciate your generosity. And, um, and I said, um,

I said, you know, if I can pull this thing off, great. If not, I'm still alive. Yeah. That's my quote. You know about the play? So you're feeling bullish about the play. Yeah. It could suck, but at least I'm not dead. No, but the point is, to your point, Will, it's like,

We're still here. We're here. We're here. Nothing matters other than our health and our people we love. And the people we love. And I just, yeah, I wanted to say that. Just say, Jer, we love you. And that's it. You know, I'm thinking about you, buddy. And I also know that he was always so quick with a laugh and he loved to freaking laugh. This guy made me laugh. And so, I don't know. He'd be like, great, we'll get you your guest. Yeah.

You have a nice opportunity to give him a nice goodbye this weekend with all of those people you're talking about. That's right. That'll be a wonderful thing for him to watch. That's right. You know, I mean, that's one of the good things about after we go, right? We get to like, it's a narcissist delight. You get to just pull up a chair and watch everybody say nice things about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. At least that's my fantasy. Yeah.

I know. Well, it's one of your fantasies. Right. Just a big Jason session for a whole day. What are you eating? Right now? No. In that situation where it doesn't matter anymore. Just super salty, puff-inducing things. Because, you know, you can be as puffy as you want upstairs. Sure you can. Yeah. Turns out you can be as puffy as you want downstairs, too. Right.

Well, actually, you lose water weight almost instantaneously down there because you're always sweating. Oh. Yeah, it's hot as shit. Oh, where you're going. Yeah, you're going to get a lot of sweating going on. That's a good point. It's a constant schvitz. To switch gears... Sure, yeah. You know, if we can, as much as we can, to somebody who's not puffy... Really? No. This gentleman keeps it very tight in the best way. I really... What a lucky son of a bitch. Yeah, I know. He really is. He's got...

This is a guy, you want to talk about first ballot Hall of Famer, this is the guy who's got it all. I mean, when you got talent and good looks, forget about it. When you got an easy way about you, for freaking good. This guy's done it everything. He's been on the big screen. He's been on the little screen. He's been on the boards, you know, on stage, if you will. This guy's from the other side of the pond. Uh-oh. He's British. Yeah, well, he's actually Welsh.

His first language is Welsh, according to the internet. -Huh. -He's a guy who's done so much, and he's one of those guys who, like, you just-- Every time you see him, you're like, "Oh, I love this guy. Everything he does." This is the way I feel. You know, he was-- For years, he was on-- You knew him from Brothers and Sisters, and then he was on The Americans Forever. And the thing I love about him maybe the most is that he has partnered with one of my all-time favorite people,

the delightful Kerry Russell. Guys, it's the incredibly talented Matthew Rhys. Oh, Matthew. Oh, my gosh. Yes, sir. Look at him. Is he gorgeous or what? Look at the stache. There's no water in that face at all. No, not for years. We have a fifth guest today. He proved that the mustache was real. He pulled on it just to prove it. No, no, I'm just checking the glue. Listener, he's got a 30-pound mustache on, and it's looking strong. Are you playing a motorcycle cop?

No, I'm doing the Tom Selleck biopic. You could. You could. Welcome to Smartless Matthew Reeves. Thank you. Thank you very much. You know, that's the real terrifying moment, the reveal. I know. Because at the beginning, I was like, is he talking about Ian McKellen? Who are they expecting? What is this? It's Taron Egerton, everyone.

The real Welshman who can sing. Sure. Wow, it's so cool to meet you. I know. You too. And thank you very much for having me on, Jen. This is a real pleasure. Matthew, I wish... We don't know each other well enough. We've crossed paths a few times because, obviously, Carrie and I are old friends, and so we've met through Carrie. And she's such a delightful person, as you are well aware. And then she's like...

I just, I love the idea. I'm like, you're as good as the people you hang out with. And the fact that you and Kerry are together, I'm like, Matthew's a good guy. He's a great guy. No, I just, no, I took that idea and then I latched myself onto Kerry so that those around us would think the same thing. By the way, that's smart. That's smart living. How long did you guys do that show together? Was it five, six? It was six.

Six. It was six years. It was meant to be five, and I think the poor showrunners had kind of arced it for five, and then FX went, you know what? Let's do one more. And they went, what? That's nice. We had the opposite. That's a good sign on a show. We're talking, of course, about the Americans. Yeah. And Margot Martindale is a friend. And dear, dear Margot Martindale. Yeah. They were both reunited on Cocaine Bay recently. Yes. Yes.

So Margo, and you were in "Cocaine Bear" as well. I muscled my way in, just looking after the kids in Ireland and reading the script, and that first opening scene, I said, "Who's playing that guy, the guy who bangs his head and falls out of the plane?" She's like, "Who? I don't know." And then I said, "Ask Lizeth Banks." I said, "Ask Banks who's playing that part."

So she text back, she said, oh, we haven't cast it yet. And I said, tell her I'll do it. No, just ask her if I can do it. And she very kindly said, yes, you can come in and fall out of an airplane. By the way, what an absolute treat. So you're directing a movie and then you got a guy who's got like one scene basically. And then you're like, Matthew Rhys calls and he's like, hey, can I just do this one scene? You're like, uh, are you kidding? Yeah, she smelled the desperation on me. I was like, can I please get out of the house? I can't do another zoo or aquarium. Please. Yeah.

Sean, is it true the rumor, sorry, that's how you and Scott met, right? Didn't you put in the search for cocaine bear? And...

No? Did I not hear that correctly? No, technically it was Cocaine Cub, wasn't it? It was Cocaine Cub, yeah. It was the prequel that they haven't done yet. Oh, Scotty. Oh, Scotty, if he only knew. So you do Cocaine, and of course I want to get, I don't want to just gloss over the delightful Margo Martindale whom we all adore. Oh yeah, she's the greatest. No one can swear like Margo Martindale.

I mean, she should have a kind of course at NYU, like swearing for film and television, because no one can swear like her. And no one can get their ire up quicker and then get to swearing over something that seems trivial. We did that show together, The Millers, and she'd be like, can you believe they just did this rerun? I've got to fucking remember this fucking thing. They want to shoot this afternoon. You're like, Jesus, what? Yeah.

She said of one very famous actor who's in our show, she went, can you fucking hear the way he breathes?

I went, well, before then, no, I haven't actually, but I can hear it now. You brought it up. Oh, I want to work with her. Oh, Jason, you will so fall in love with Margot Martindale, you won't be able to contain yourself. Guys, am I right? Yeah. Gold. She's absolute gold. Now, tell me, Welsh is a language? Is that what I heard you say, Will? It is. Oh, my God. First of all,

Wait, so it's not English? Get ready for the letters. It's not English. It's much older than English. It's one of the oldest in Europe. So let's start there. So I just want to say, so Matthew, you are, it says that your first language was Welsh. Is that true? It is. It is. I grew up speaking Welsh, so the whole family speak Welsh. But isn't Welsh just English with an accent? I don't understand. Yes, basically. We just, what we do is try and adopt such a harsh accent.

No one really understands the English you're speaking. No, no, no, no, no. He's putting you on. So I've spent some time in Cardiff, which is where you're from, yeah, Matthew? It is. What were you doing there? I was filming there a few years ago, and I remember we had this... What were you driving? I had... I was going to say, the driver I had when I was working on that show, you know the guy... Jerry Lockett? Yes, Jerry Lockett. Oh, the Lockett rocket. Yeah, the famous Jerry Lockett.

Yes. What do you mean driver? What are you talking about? You got a Rolls Royce. That's what I was trying to bait you to. Didn't somebody loan you a... No, they loaned me a Bentley when I was in London. You're disgusting. I know. It's a long story. Wait, did you drive yourself in this Bentley? Yeah, I did. I did. I drove myself. Right side drive? Sure did. And then I drove up to Ricky's, to Jervis' house in London because I was going to have...

to go to his house to have just a visit. Who are you? Who's life do you have? And I called him and I said, I'm outside and he came out and he saw me in this Bentley and I go, where can I park this thing around here? And he was like, Jesus fucking Christ. Look, it wasn't mine. It was literally, I don't drive a Bentley. That was why I made a point. Anyway.

So you're from Cardiff. We know Jerry Lockett. We've got Jerry out there. We know that he's listening. We love you, Jerry. So we know that you do. How are you? And I knew that you guys knew each other because he was always like, do you know Matthew Rhys? And I was like, I do. I do a little bit because I know Kerry. He says, yeah, Matthew's from here. And he's so proud of you. And all the Welsh are so proud of Matthew for what you've done. I think because it's only three million, it was three and a half million. That's all of Canada.

Isn't it? What? First of all... What is the population of Canada now? 30. 30. Oh, okay. You missed it by a zero. 10%. Yeah. So anyone who's Welsh and has done anything, even if they haven't done anything, we're just inherently proud. Yeah. For a country the size of Connecticut. Two of them are named Bale and one of them is named Rhys. Yes, that's it. That's basically it. So Christian, Gareth, and...

Bill and Matthew Rhys. Well, there's also Hopkins. You also got Hopkins in there. Oh, yeah, you do. You do. And then Burton, obviously. There are a bunch. So wait, I don't know anything about you, and I know you. I'm a fan of you, but I don't know anything about you. So were you one of those people that grew up and did theater and stuff as a kid, and you're like, oh, my God, if I can go to America, wow. We're going to get to that, Sean. That's exactly right. She's right in the middle of a story.

He's telling this story. So he grew up in Cardiff. What story? About a Rolls Royce and a Bentley? Speaking Welsh is his first language. Say something in Welsh. Landing the plane on that. Okay, sorry. Go ahead, Matthew. Sean, check your chat, please. So talk about, no, but growing up speaking Welsh, you guys spoke Welsh at home, yeah? We did. We did. And in Wales, there's a great reverence for performing arts. And there's a very, there's kind of an ancient tradition. It's pre-Christian tradition.

Whereby everyone congregates, in the old days, everyone would congregate and then you would sing competitively or recite poetry or anything of that ilk, basically. And it's very modern these days, but twice a year, all the children of Wales will gather and it's a competition now, but you're very much encouraged to get on stage in some form, art form or another, and compete for your school or your county or whatever. Oh, wow. So, yeah, so from a very early age, you're kind of kicked onto a stage, um,

whether you want to. Really? Yeah, yeah. And now, a word from our sponsor. All right, back to the show. So you grow up, you're speaking well, obviously you speak English as well. They speak both there. The signage and stuff in Wales is delightful. It's...

you know, one in English and one in Welsh, and it's tough to read. It's a hotbed of contention, yeah. What's the distance between English and Welsh? I mean, I've absolutely no idea what it sounds like, what it looks like. Yeah, talk a little bit in Welsh just so we can hear it. One of the oldest poems in Welsh is about 600 BC, and it just says, Gwiraeth gataith o fraith eilu glasfer y hancwyn agwenin fi, trichan trwy beriant yn catai, agwedi elwch te welwch fi.

It's Lord of the Rings, the elves. It's how the elves speak in Lord of the Rings. Yes, well, Tolkien based Elvish on Welsh. Oh, I just made that up. Is that true? Oh, yes, it is. Are you kidding me? I mean, I'm a 54-year-old man that is not living in a cave. Why have I never, ever heard Welsh spoken? It's a golden cave. Let's be honest. Yes, a beautiful cave. I've heard tell. Let's be clear. Yes, one cave to bind us all. Why?

I don't understand how that's gone by me. Well, I do. Well, I think, listen, I don't want to get on the English bashing soapbox, but the English, you know, if we're going to do a quick history, the English did their best to kind of eradicate all the Celtic languages for the Scots, the Irish, the Welsh, the Cornish. You know, they weren't,

too Celtic friendly. So there was a lot of stamping out of the language and the culture. Wow. And was it influenced by folks more Northern? Like, was there a Viking influence to all of those Celtic languages? I mean, there's the great evolutionists, Germanic based. And then, you know, I think the Keltoi were a Spanish tribe initially. And they, you know, then the Gauls got involved and amalgamated and then...

And then they, you know, set up camp in Britain and then the Romans came. We're all such babies here in America. Well, you don't learn any... Even if you did pay attention... You know, even if you did in America go to school not on a massage bus, you...

You learned history. How dare you? You learned history. But at least in Canada, we had to take British history. So we knew we were always studying the fucking Battle of Culloden and all that shit. Is the empire still stamped down your throat in Canada? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, I haven't lived there in 30 years. This is a guy who reads World War II books on the can, going to bed. Yeah.

It's not as bad as Justin Theroux who will watch World War II documentaries through the face hole of a massage table on his iPhone. Okay?

He takes it to a new level, this lust for World War II. And he lines it just for comfort and stuff. He lines it with his discarded sleeves just to protect his face. Just to pad the ring. So, Matthew, so you're in, you're what? You're sort of 17 and you go to RADA. Yeah, yeah. RADAL Academy of Dramatic Art in London, which is the preeminent classical acting school in the world.

That's what I tell everyone. That's why I've told my parents they allow me to go. It's like everybody who goes to RADA, they'll tell you. It's the same way with everybody who's ever gone to Oxford. Make sure to let that be known. Yes, we'll drop it in. You walk in and the honour boards are still up in the foyers. So, like, you know, has Peter O'Toole and Anthony Hopkins. I did a summer course there years ago. Did you? In 1987.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shakespeare? Yeah, I did the whole thing for a few years there. Come on. At RADA. I sure did. How was that? It was amazing, man. What did you do? You seem so dumb. It was amazing. Is there a lot of pressure when you go to a school like that to make it? I mean, obviously you did, but I mean, is there just sort of culturally, do you feel there like, oh my God, okay, so I'm in RADA now. I got to...

I got to maintain our batting average. Or is there a lot of people that go there and then go into other fields? Is that more common? It is. It is. It's a very small intake. There's only 30 to each year. 15 men, 15 women. Every year. Yeah. Yeah. So it's very small. So you feel the pressure immediately.

-Immediately. -That's small. Did they do it on a bus? Yes, like a massage bus. Yeah, it just kind of goes around and around to pick it up. We had 30 on the massage bus comfortably. That's what I heard. And then you guys stopped for lunch at Jinkies on Ventura, right? I mentioned that. Some reading at the Bodhi tree. But it's very exclusive. But here you are, you're a kid from Cardiff. You're the only Welsh person in your year.

Yes, I was. I was. I had a friend who was a year older and then Michael Sheen had just come through and kind of blazed a trail and was kind of, you know, setting the West End on fire. So there was this, you know, there was the flag of Wales is the dragon. So there was a kind of a dragon firmly stamped as to, you know, the Welsh are resurging again.

But, you know, like I said, Anthony Hopkins was the chairman of the board at the time, so he'd be in and out and he'd just done Shadowlands. So, you know, there was this great air that, you know, anything was possible, really. I think one of the things that the Welsh and Wales suffer from enormously is small person syndrome. And at that time, there was just this little bubble of a few, you know, Welsh people doing incredibly well. Catherine Zito was bursting to the ranks, so...

I was there at this renaissance when anything felt possible. You know what my question is going to be? I can ask it now or later. Did you ever forget a line on stage? What's your favorite theater story, Matthew? Yeah, because you got to have one or two.

Yes, I have... Well, I have quite a few, in fact. No, but possibly... Because I was doing theatre for the first five years, solidly. And then at 25, I thought I'd got the role that was going to change my life and my career. It didn't. But I got...

to play Benjamin Braddock in a stage adaptation of The Graduate with Kathleen Turner as my Mrs. Robinson. Wow. And to me, it was the first real introduction to Hollywood because I'd never experienced anything like it in every sense. Like,

PAs and I was like what's a PA who has a PA it was just incredible anyway fast forward halfway through the run it got a little you know there were a few bedroom antics in the production and there's one moment where I jump in bed and we're simulating sex and I have to kind of plunge my face between her legs as if I'm I'm

pleasuring her. Sure, sure. She did have the, you know, the obligatory kind of, you know, flesh-toned underwear on. But anyway, I had a streaming head cold. Sure. And being the malicious, vindictive type that I am, I wouldn't let the understudy go on. So I went on and I had, my nose was just streaming. My cold, my nose was streaming and I couldn't, I didn't want to kind of sniff heavily during, you know, during dialogue. So,

Never a great idea. Yeah, and I go, oh, I know what I'll do. I'll just clear my nose in that quiet moment when I'm between. I know. And I said, well, I didn't think. So I jumped in and I'm between Miss Turner's legs and I just went...

and inhaled deeply, and the covers kind of shot up. And she's looking down at me like, what the fuck? What the fuck are you doing? And I was like, oh, oh no, I'm not, no, I'm not, I'm not sniffing, I'm not sniffing, I have a cold, I have a cold, I'm not sniffing you. You're not trying wine out. No, no. My God, no way. Yes, I always live with this deep regret of that moment. That and when someone, there was a paparazzi,

In the moment when she took off her robe and this paparazzi photographer stood up and photographed her and a big flash went off. I know. And I looked at her on stage in this moment and I was like, oh, we should stop. And she came in with the next line. And I always remember thinking,

Regardless that she was a consummate professional and went, I'm going to come in with the next line, I'm going to carry on. I bitterly regret in that moment not stopping the production because the next day in a tabloid newspaper, there was a huge photograph. Yeah, I was ashamed. I was ashamed. Oh my God. Well, you know.

But it was, yeah. And the headline just said, Welshman, you know, just fucking cowers under pressure. Yes, yes, yes. Spineless Welshman does nothing. We'll leave it to the English tabloids to say that. Yeah, yeah. I love that. Oh my God. So Matthew, so you did, as you said, you did, did you play another great Welshman? You played Dylan Thomas, didn't you? I did. At one point? I did.

That, yes. Oh my God, it feels so long ago. It's about 12 years ago now. Yeah. He had this incredible moment. The poet Dylan Thomas had this incredible moment in his life where he was having an affair. That part was played by Keira Knightley and Turner Miller was playing my wife. And

Cillian Murphy is the husband of Keira Knightley. And this is all true, that he burst in on Dylan Thomas with a machine gun because it was during the Second War. He came in with a machine gun. He opened fire. And then missed everyone and took out a grenade, pulled the pin, and the grenade didn't go off. And it was that story that we told in The Age of Love. Yeah, it was an unbelievable story that he survived and then tragically drank himself to death.

Wow, talk about the worst assassin you could ever imagine. Yes, and I was like, I was talking to Cillian about it, I was like, but you're a commando. You're a trained commando. Do you want to play this part? So you do not live in Wales, correct? I do not, no. I now live in leafy Brooklyn. Leafy Brooklyn. Yeah, so you live in Brooklyn, but you come over, you do theatre, as you say, for basically five years. Hmm.

And then you move over to America to do what? What was the first thing that brought you over? The first thing I did, I was doing a play. I was actually doing a two-hander at the Royal Court with Paul Bettany called One More Wasted Year. And everyone called it One More Wasted Evening because it wasn't good. My own family said as much. It was terrible. LAUGHTER

Didn't they really? So they come backstage. What were they saying to you backstage? My uncle was the first person of the entire group when they came in and he's an old sea captain, very salty. And he went, well, that was shit. Yeah. And I couldn't argue. I went, you're absolutely right. And then, yeah. Stephen Daldry, who was the artistic director at the time, and Preston, I came in, went...

"Darlings, was it the play we need to see right now?" "Probably not." "Should we go to the party?" That's hysterical. Oh, God. Wow, that's so hardcore. So you come over with Paul Bettany, you do that. Sorry, yes. Yeah, an American agent came to see the play and he said, "Do you want to come over for pilot season?" And I had no idea what it was. And I said, "Yes," and then came to LA. And then the first audition he set me up with, it was Julie Tamer's first movie, "Titus," with Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lange.

And I just thought, oh my God, Los Angeles is truly the promised land where you just turn up and get these huge movies and everything's great. Yeah, you just sign up. And then I did that. Yeah. And I shot that in Rome for six months and then I went back to LA and didn't get a job for a decade. Yeah. Here's another time my career is going to be made. And it was just like, meh. Yeah.

Just paid a few bills. Isn't that amazing? I love that feeling of like, yeah, it's going to be like this forever. Yeah, yeah. It's like the Klondike. I arrived, it was like the Klondike where they throw you these scripts and go, this is being made for MGM with this as the lead. And you're like, oh my, and you're allowing me to audition for this? This is madness. All I have to do is get the part and I'm

set for life. You never know anything. You really don't. I mean, look at us three morons. Each of us have had great success, as I knock on wood, we're super grateful for in our careers.

But then, you know, this thing comes along. It's more successful than anything we've ever done. And it was just us three idiots chatting during COVID. Right. The world basically was saying, we don't want you guys to do the thing that you think that you're going to just... Yeah, the things you're professional at. Yeah, you can keep doing that a little bit if you want. But we just want you to be that you're... We want to hear your idiotic thoughts on stupid shit. Yeah. Just like, you know, wonder at the moment where Sean learns...

that whales was, you know where whales got its name, Sean? Where? That's where they made the first harpoon. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. Correct. But you bought it for a second. And that's what they tune in to hear. Because he'll fuck with me and he'll say something that's completely not true. And then he'll say something that's completely true. I never know what to believe. It's tough, I know, Ang. But wait a minute. They did shoot Moby Dick in whales with Gregory Peck.

and my grandfather worked on it. Is that true? Is that true? Yeah, they built three large rubber whales and one of them, I know, this is a great joke, it's like they came to Wales, and one of them sailed off into the Irish Sea, which I think is fantastic. I have a whale that needs a rubber, but go ahead. Hey-o! My grandfather caught Moby Dick, but there's a cure for it now. Hey-o! Wait, wait, wait. What did your grandfather do on that ship?

His friend Edgar was a carpenter and they kind of helped out in the framing of the whales. I love that. That's cool. Wait, I want to ask about Carrie and I want to know, did you meet each other? Because I'm an idiot. I don't know. Did you meet before Americans or on the set and how did that go? And when did you know the sparks flew? Just one question at a time.

Because I get easily confused. Because I love Carrie. I love Carrie. So do I. We met quite a few years before the Americans in Rusted Canyon at a kickball party that Jennifer Grey hosted. And I had no idea what kickball was. Boy, all of that adds up, by the way. Yes, yes. How I just amble through life, bumping into the furniture and ending up going, how did I get here?

How did this happen? And we were the last two to leave. We were in the parking lot and I was trying to open a bottle of beer for her with a key and failing. And I asked for her number then.

And then, and that was all I can remember. She was moving to New York two days after that on the Tuesday. It was a Sunday. And that's all I still remember. And then the road to the Americans was a long, crazy one. And then on the first day of fight training, I said to Kerry, I said, oh, we've met before, actually. She was like, no, no, we definitely haven't. Oh, so it had been years. It had been years at this point. And I said, yeah, yeah, we met before. We met at a kickball party in Rustic Canyon. She went, oh.

I know who you are, and you left me a message on my answering machine, a very drunken message. And I went, did I? I'm so sorry. I have no memory of leaving a long, rambling, incoherent, drunken message, which is probably why she didn't call me back. No way. Did you really? Wait, can I be a super moron? Are you guys together? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ah.

Okay. Wait, did you, so you got together, you started working together. You're not just bringing up that they're just good friends. No, because they worked together on The Americans for six years. That's what I'm saying. That's why I was asking. But during that, you guys fell in love, got married, had a kid? We did, yes. Yeah, but I want to know what happens. So she goes, okay, now I remember you. And then what?

And then it was just a very slow burn. The first season, you know, I think we were both trying to be sworn off to that thing. We were going to go, I'm not going to do what everyone tells us never to do. I'm not going to do that. And then, but the beginning of the second season, it was...

- It was ours. - It was, yeah. - Trip of sales. - Okay, so now, were the producer, did the producers take each of you aside individually and say, "Hey, you're dealing with an asset here, okay? Everyone has jobs. If you guys go south, we have to shut the show down." Were there conversations? - No, no, they were very gracious about it, 'cause I've had friends-- - They were all so nervous. - I know, I've had friends who've had that conversation to sit down from the producers going, "Look, we've all been down here before.

You guys are in your mid-30s now. You know, you're not 22. Right off the company pier. Yeah, they were very kind and gracious. Do you know the TV director, Tommy Shlami? Yeah. Yeah, so Shlami was directing the beginning of the second season. And he has that kind of beautiful voice. But Kerry and I were doing a sex scene. And Shlami just goes, these two have been naked together before. And then it was like, called out. Yeah.

Oh, really? So at that point, no one knew, but he could tell. He could tell. And then there's the longer story as to how we got found out, which was just... We've got time. Well, Kerry got broken into. I was in the house at the time, and the robbers kind of grabbed my backpack, shoved it full of her stuff. You're in the house alone during a home invasion? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Start there. Well...

So here's the other thing. It's early day. And this is just a testament to my abject stupidity. But with early days of our relationship, and she wakes me up, she says, there's someone in the house. And I go, no, there's not. And then I just heard this voice. Oh, shit. And I remember thinking, in any...

logical moment, you'd go, let's lock ourselves in the bathroom and call 911. And for some stupid reason, because it was very early days, I thought, what I do next, she will judge me on for the rest of our lives. What's that film called?

Force majeure. Force majeure. Where the avalanche comes and he just runs. He leaves his family behind. Right, right. I swear to God. I was like, if I suggest to go into the bathroom and call 911, will she think me a coward? Your relationship's over. Yes. I had all these weird things going through my head. So what did I do? She had a working fireplace in the bedroom. So I picked up the poker. Sure. And with not a stitch on me, I walked out to meet my fate.

Wow. And we'll be right back after these messages.

Okay, so now we're back. So now we're back. So now you're... So after eight months of treatment, yes, I was fine. No, I'm kidding. So did you face-to-face with this fella? No, because what I did was, I think, what most people do is you turn the light on and they run straight away. So I heard them kind of run and they ran out the front door. Oh, thank God. I know, I know. So you do this and now Carrie thinks that you're her...

- I wouldn't go that far. - Or did she think you were stupid for chasing after the guy? - Yeah, basically, yeah. - She was locked in the bathroom. - Yeah, calling 911. - Waiting for you. - Yeah, then seven cops turn up and they clock her and they're like looking, they'll have no idea who I am, but they're looking at her and then all of a sudden the DA were like, they catch them and the DA said, "Oh, I tell you what, we would love to return your belongings on set with a photographer to carry, if that's okay."

And she's like, she wasn't wild about the idea. No, no, no, because the DA was retiring that year. He wanted kind of a hero ending. So the NYPD come on set with a photographer and then they're holding up my bag. And Yadid, one of the young PAs went, wait, that's not Kerry's bag. That's Matthew's bag. And as I'm running, trying to go, shut the fuck up. And that's how the crew kind of found out.

No way. Wow, wow, wow. So arbitrary. Yeah. That's crazy. It was a lot to go through just for the big reveal. Wow. That's kind of cool. So then this guy managed to grab a few things before he went running. He did. He did. He did. Wow. And when I saw the picture of him when he was arrested-

I said, oh, I said, look, there's a picture of the guy. They caught him. I said, look, he's being cuffed by two little tiny cops. She said, they're not tiny. And I saw the size of him. He could have turned me into a kebab with that poker and done what he wanted. I wouldn't have had it. Now, did you have any sort of war cry as you turned on the light? Was there any sort of get the heck out of here? No, you're going, hey, bear. Hey, bear. Yeah.

You know? Was there any of that? No, no. As much as I was... I'm a poker! Yeah, yeah. As much as I love that moment in Gladiator when all the Celts kind of attack the Romans, and I always think, you know, if it came to it, that's how I'd react. I couldn't move my legs. Don't make me come down there! Yes, I'm classically trained, you know. I've done fencing. Totally naked! Yes. Let's get this going! Yeah.

And we will be right back. And now back to the show. All right. So you and Kerry have a child. That's a boy or a girl? He's a boy. He's a boy. Kerry has two older ones. So there's three, you know, there's three in the house who outnumber us. And what are the ages of all three? 15, 11, and six. 15, 11, and six. Then the 15 and 11 are boy, girl?

- And boy girl, so it goes boy, girl, boy. - Boy, girl, boy. - Yeah. - And how are you liking being a dad? - I love it. - You love it? - I do love it. It's the madness that I love. It's when it's, at its most, the small stuff irks you, but when it's catastrophic, it's brilliant. - Yeah. - When those mornings, when the wheels so royally come off, that's when I can sit back and go, oh, this is just brilliant. - Who's the more patient one with all of the, with the chaos? Is it you or her?

Uh, her, her. Yeah. Chaos I'm fine with, but manners, like rudeness, I don't tolerate. No, me neither. How old are yours now, Jason? I got 16 and 11, two girls. Oh, wow. And I'm totally permissive and the guy that plays around and I don't have to really be the disciplinarian. But if it's the rudeness, if it's stuff like that, and I just like the switch gets thrown. Yeah, same. I pick and choose my moments. Yeah, the chaos is great.

Yeah, rudeness. Yeah, we've got 14, 12, and then my partner, she's a five-year-old, and then we have an almost three-year-old. Oh, wow. All boys. No way. Yeah. You've almost got the hockey team. Almost got the team, and it's the fuck, and it is, sometimes it is absolute just...

abject chaos. Like, just... How do you like it? I love it. The chaos. It's great. Yeah, I love it. It's... I don't know. I just wouldn't have it any other way. I embrace it. It's fun. Same thing. They're all nice. They're all nice kids and everybody, you know, has good manners and stuff. That's one of the things. But...

But I love it, man. I love it when it just gets absolute, you know, sometimes when you get into the witching hour sort of near bedtime, it gets fucking bonkers. Yeah. How about the complications, Matthew, of travel and stuff? Since you guys are both very active in your careers and your kids are now deeply entrenched in school and having that sort of

social and academic continuity. Like you can't really pick them up and take them places with you as much as you want, I'll bet, right? How do you guys manage that? Is it easy or tough?

It is tough. I mean, we try and live by this ridiculous rule where one of us works, one of us doesn't. And, you know, kids stay at school. Right. But it's just... That never works out, right? No, no, it doesn't. Because, like, what if somebody gets a great, great call and you just can't say no, but this is your turn and, you know... Yeah, this is what happened last year. And grandma came in and, you know, the kids ate sugar for six months.

-Sick solid money. -Yeah. They-- they loved it. I think that my sort of view on it always is that you have this idea of how you want it to go. So you say, like, one of us is gonna work, one of us not. Whatever that thing is,

And you try to set those parameters and you try to get as close to it as you can. And you have to be flexible and allow yourself to, you know, that there are going to be moments where it's just pure chaos. Yes. And the truth is kids are so incredibly resilient. Like they don't know any different. You know, I grew up in a house where my mom was a stewardess for Pan Am or flight attendants. She was gone two weeks of every month. That was just normal to me. You know, just had my mom half the time. And that was just normal. Yeah. Yeah.

I had my dad. No, Ryan. Oh, no. Matthew's going to love this story. No, no. Yeah, go. So it starts with a Chevy Pontiac, the engine turning on. Yeah, and it ends with a peel-out. Yeah, just a peel-out. Yeah.

And a real... And a sort of a distant kind of, fuck you! Fuck y'all! Fuck all y'all! I'm out of here! This isn't true, is it? Yeah, it's true. My dad left when I was five. And he left his mom to keep an eye on all of them.

And I stress an eye. His mother has one eye. And I stress an eye. Matthew, it's brilliantly tragic. You have to laugh. It's fun. It's the only thing we have to do. We have to laugh at our misfortunes because...

But wait, I'm going to ask you a weird question only because you're wearing a black t-shirt. Yeah. And I've seen a lot of photos of you and stuff like where you seem very kind of fat, like you're into fashion when you have to be. Like I know nothing, like I'm terrible. But like you're probably like Will where you're like, I like to look good when I even go to the store. I like to look good when I go out in public. Like is that, it seems like a lot of effort.

Oh, no, no. If you truly knew me, it's... Kelly said the other day, because I have these beaten up car hearts and I wear usually just the same black T-shirt every day. And even Kelly's like, you've got to change for the school run. You've worn the same thing for... It's now months. And my car hearts are really beaten up. What's cards?

Carhartt. Sorry, it's the way I'm saying it. It's a brand, clothing brand. Carhartt. It's like all the carpenters, Carhartt, yeah, all the carpenters wear them and they're real worker guys. And I wear them into the ground because they look so terrible. I was standing in school pickup in line and this mother kind of looked at my trousers and she said, what is it you do? And I went, oh, I'm actually an actor. And she went, oh, okay.

Oh. It's like, almost like, why are you masquerading as someone who works for a living? Well, you have your uniform. Well, it's like Jason always gets the question when they see him, they always say, what time's your tea time? Right? Isn't that the question he gets most of the day? Well, when I wear this little outfit, it's clear. You know what I do get a lot? You know what I do get a lot is...

do you color your hair? And now recently, because of this film where I play in a guy in 1985, they think it's a wig. Just a full-blown wig that I'm wearing. I'm looking forward to that immensely. No one thinks that my hair is the right, is the real color. Because in your 70s, like you are, it's...

That's not true. It's not believable that a 70-year-old would not have any gray hair. I have to admit that there have been, I've had a few people in the last year who have asked me, Jason, if you color your hair. Yeah, same. I tell everyone that you color your hair. That's what it is. You son of a bitch. It was, yeah, it was during that moment. Do you remember, I don't know if you remember this, in the Golden Globes, this is time,

perversely pretentious but it still makes me laugh that kind of green the virtual green room if you remember is you, me Bob Odenkirk Josh O'Connor and then we were all waiting for Al Pacino to kind of pop up do you remember into the virtual green room and we're all waiting and then he pops up

Because we're all at home during the pandemic. And he looks like a Bond villain because he has like a small dog in his lap. And he's joking it. Yes. And we all sort of say, we all go, hi, hello. Hello. Hi, hi, hi. And then there's silence. And then we kind of do a second round where we're going, hello, hi. No, nothing. And then I think you said, I don't think he can hear us. And then Pacino just goes, oh, I can hear you.

Oh, boy. Yeah. We all went, oh. Just doesn't want to do the group high. And then he said, I think he colors his hair. Yeah. Oh, this guy? Oh, oh, hair color? Nice.

Charlie. Hey, so Matthew. Yeah. Quick question for Jason. Why is the emblem, why is the person holding an umbrella? What is that? Oh, this is some silly golf sweater. Mary Poppins. Oh yeah, what is that? It actually is a Mary Poppins. This is a, I believe this is an ATT thing, Willie. From ATT? Yeah, this is one of the,

From that swag room we went into? We have smartless golf stuff coming out soon. I love it. Oh, let's take the opportunity to do a merch tie-in, Sean. Smart. Matthew, can you commit right now to wearing smartless golf merch on the school run? I...

My entire closet is mainly made up of clothes I've stolen from jobs. I don't buy a thing. Well, we're going to send you some smartless golf swag. I love it. Some plus fours, right, for the golf pants. You can wear that. Yeah. We were listening. I do want to say your show gives us so much joy. And we were listening. Yes, it does. We were listening to it recently.

And Will, I think you went to dinner with Sean at Jar. Yeah, I was not invited. Yeah. Well, we brought that up in the car. We were like, why wasn't Jason there?

Yeah, I never am. These guys have been all over the world together. Oh, my gosh. I've never asked. I mean, they've been to Turkey. They've been to... Where else, guys? Yeah, we have Venice. Your passport's been stamped. Venice, Italy, right? Venice, Italy, yeah. You guys play golf every day. Okay, go ahead. Oh, that's different. So you did say that you were wearing Uggs, the kind of slipper Uggs for dinner. Is that right? Did I remember that right? Absolutely, yeah. And I said to K.O., I went...

It's fine. And she went, they live in LA. Right. She's right. Sean, that was you wearing the comfy shoes? Yeah, why not? He's been doing it for years. Who looks at your shoes? Nobody looks at your shoes in a dark restaurant. I would, and then I would choose to never come to dinner with you again. Cobblers around the world. Cobblers?

Listen, so Matthew, so now recently in the last couple of years, you've partnered with our good friend, Mr. Downey Jr. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Perry Mason. Now that's a handsome looking show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Talk to us a little bit about that. First of all, how that came about and what an absolute terror he is as an executive producer. Oh, this Downey. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's been checked. Yells and screams. Oh, what a screamer. He strikes people. Yes. Yes. With a glove. Has a leather glove, a small gauntlet that he sometimes put a metal thimble in it just for the little, ah! Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Christ, he's here! He's here! He is.

-He speaks so highly of you. -How did that come-- -Yeah, he loves you. -Yeah, he does. He really does. Robert loves you. And talk to us a little bit about-- And Susan as well. Susan does not like-- Oh, she does. -Well, yes. -The great Susan. The brains of that duo. It's the wind beneath the wings and the brain in the head. Yeah. How did that come into your world, the Perry Mason project?

I mean, I'm trying to think what year it was now, because it was a while back. Probably three, four years ago, maybe? Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I always... This is how my brain works. When my manager calls and he goes...

You know, Team Downie want to talk to you about a reboot of Perry Mason. My first question was like, "Who's turned it down? Who's turned it down?" Right. Why doesn't Robert want to do it? Yes. And I think he did. I think that was the whole point, that Robert was supposed to do it. And it took them almost ten years of development. And it went through many, very many guises of a TV film, a series. And I just think Robert never quite got there. Yeah.

So yeah, they reached out for a meeting, which I was terrified about. And the brilliant Mr. Van Patten directed that? Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was just a dream. By the way, I love that their company is called Team Downey, which is always fun to me. I think that's a great company name. I've always been jealous of that, but I don't want Robert to know. I would have called it Touch Downey.

Yeah. Oh, that's good. That's nice. That'd be good too, right? That's fun. It's just like I'm looking to rename mine Master Bateman, but it has not cleared. So, Robert, so Team Downey reaches out and you go and you meet with these guys and you're like, you're like, uh, uh,

Did you know that it was going to become this great? Like, what was your first thought of it? Were you, like, excited? Were you sort of skeptical? Were you... I mean, I was slightly skeptical because I have...

Like, did you develop it with them or was it a script? Well, you're also carrying a bunch of pedigree out of the Americans. You won the Emmy. The Americans and brothers and sisters that you did for five years with our old buddy Robbie Bates, my old friend. You did not want it to suck. No, no. But that was never in doubt because, you know, I think when you saw Team Downey, you know, um...

the writers on it, Tim Van Patten, HBO, it was kind of, it was shrieked of, I wasn't concerned that it wouldn't be of a certain caliber. If anything, you know, usually it stems from my own insecurities, you know, how I can turn it into a catastrophe more than anything else. But I was very excited, I loved it, it was pitched as a one-off,

And they were like, look, we just want to do the origin story and that'll be it. And then, you know, halfway through, they were like, you know, this is it works pretty good. It looks good. We should we should think about doing this. You know, we should think about doing more of this. I do. I did have that small reservation where I've done what I kind of, you know, Perry Mason is so revered. Well, it was in the UK. It was huge. And here also, there is a certain generation of an age group up.

that kind of go, "No, no, no, you can't touch Mason." You have to leave that alone. And then a ton of people have no recollection of the show whatsoever. And that's what Susan said. She said, "Look, there are swathes of generations ready for a new Perry Mason." Yeah, we can do it. We can make him whatever we want. And where did you guys shoot that?

In L.A. They went back to the origin story in the books, which was 1930s L.A., which to me was, you know, with Chinatown and everything else was such, was so alluring. And as a kid growing up watching old movies, I was like, oh my God, I get to wear a fedora in L.A. And you do an American accent? Yeah.

You get to wear a fedora in L.A. like everybody else in Venice, right? Yeah, or Los Feliz. As an actor, is the American accent a tough thing to do? Do you have like a phrase that clicks you right into the typical American sound that's sort of like a shortcut for you? No, there's no real shortcut. It's still a huge...

It's like a, I say block. Like hamburger. Well, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I went up to one of the writers early on in Perry Mason. I said, is there any chance we can change like,

murderer to killer. And he's like, you do realize you've signed on for Perry Mason? Right. Like, you're going to be saying murderer a lot. And I was like, yeah, I hadn't quite thought that one through. That's a bit of an Achilles heel for me. That's a tough word to say. Yeah, like your batteries run out halfway through. You just go, murderer.

Murderer. Murderer. I was like, you say killer? What about suspect? Suspect would be great. Right, because the British accent would put an A-H on it. Murderer. Yeah. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. By the way, if you're going to live in America, you've got to learn how to say murderer. I mean, sorry. That's not true. It's going to be the thing you're going to say the most. Jesus Christ.

Well, I mean, so now you've got the second season of Perry Mason coming out, which is fantastic, which you never thought you'd do. No. And that was delayed a bit, yeah? Yes. With COVID, perhaps? Hugely delayed because it's tuned to a, you know, detrimental moment. No, we're going to wait. We're not going to shrink the show and make a smaller show.

of the first one, we'll wait until we can make the same big show with hundreds of supporting artists and do it right. - Right, because there's a lot of background players in a lot of crowd scenes. - It's a massive production. - Oh my, it's a beast. There are those days I turn up on set and I go, "I don't even know how this works." My brother-in-law was a tank commander in the British Army.

Whoa. For most of his life. And he said, it's all, like, if you think about the logistics they have to do, it's insane. But he came on set one day and he went, how does this work? Right. And he was just so shocked. He goes, what amazes me, he said, what amazes me is that so many components have to come together in one tiny moment and be quiet. He said it was, it sort of staggered him. He was like, he was like,

-amazed at the cold sheets and everything. - It's true. It is. It's true. When you watch-- When you go to a big film television set and you watch all these people who are at the top of their game, and they're seeing it, like you said, come together in that moment where everybody's gotta be silent and everything's gotta be great, and you see it pulled off. Sometimes it has the timing of something that has to happen in the shots. Whatever it is, it is pretty amazing to watch

how good these people are at what they do. Yeah. And filming in New York, which we obviously did the American tour, it's staggering that they get away with what they do in the kind of...

Like, location departments should be given flak jackets these days for the amount of abuse they just get from people who want to park, drive down the street, or, you know, enter a shop. But how many times have you had that when you're shooting in New York on the street and then it's like pretty good and then like somewhere in the take you just hear somebody leaning out a window going, I want to be in the fucking movie! Yeah, all the time. Or,

-All right, let's go again. -If it says exterior night in the Americans, you know you're looping it. You know you're ADRing it because you know there's someone shouting along the line. There was this one time in Harlem, I was doing a scene and it was like eight guys, because I had to shout the scene, eight guys were shouting the exact same words along with me. -Because they've heard it so many times? -Yeah.

Matthew, we have taken up so much of your time. My God, I just realized we could talk to you forever. This has been a treat. Yeah, yeah. You're a conversationalist. You're one of us. God, you are one of us. This has been a real treat. Sean, I can't wait to see the show. We're all coming to see it. We're very excited about it. Oh, that's so nice. Thank you. How are previews going? Really well, really exhausting, but thank you for asking. I walked down the street one day, today, walked down the street to go get my little sandwich, my egg sandwich. On a Kaiser roll.

and a Kaiser roll. And this woman, this woman stopped me. She was really sweet, but this is how much energy was in her voice. She grabbed my arm. She goes, I saw your show last night. I go, yeah, thank you for coming. She goes, it was really good. And she just kept walking. I love New York. New York undefeated. And that's it. I was like, she was very nice though. Last time I did a play, I was, I was, I,

I was walking from the theater and this woman just shouted, you're an asshole. And I just went, I hope you saw the show. That's not personal. Matthew, when we come to New York, I hope that we can grab a meal. You, me, and Carrie, and maybe one of these ding-dongs as well. That would be incredible. Let's go get Sean and Scotty and JB and we'll do it up. It'll be great to see you, man. Thank you for having me. This has been such a treat. Thank you, Matthew. And send...

all of our love to Carrie. I will. We adore her as well. And we adore you. You are, as Sean said, you're one of us. It's been such a pleasure, buddy. And continued success. Perry Mason comes out. What's the release? It's out now. Monday nights at 9. Yeah. Monday nights at 9. There we go. HBO Max, yeah. HBO. Congratulations, Matthew. Yeah, congratulations. All the success, buddy. Thank you, guys. Thanks a million. Thanks for being here, buddy. Have a good day. See you soon. Bye-bye. Slam it shut.

Now, there's a nice guy. Well, what's a nice guy like that being... How is he friends with you? Because that's the kind of... That's the ilk of people that I attract. You know what I mean? It's just like-minded people. Birds of a feather. Cool dudes. He's charming. He knows how to carry on a conversation. Yeah, I know. I'm always impressed with guys like that who are just so, like, relaxed. Yeah. Like...

Well, he's confident, you know? He's comfortable, you know? He's got his uniform, he's got his black T-shirt. He's not like you guys. He doesn't have an ax to grind, you know what I mean? He doesn't have something to prove all the time. He's not trying to prove anything with his fun tops that he wears, Sean. I'm a fun top. Now, listen. Speaking of which, where's the cocaine bear? What's he fixing now? Huh? He's fixing something. Scotty, what are you making? What kind of sandwich?

Oh, you had a Turk sandwich. Oh, a Turk sandwich. What else is on it? What percentage of the day, hang on, what percentage of the day when you yell out, hey, Scotty, what are you doing, is the answer, I'm making a sandwich? Well, usually it's from me. No, that's what I mean. Making sammies. That's what I mean. So what do we got on the turkey? How do you like your turkey sandwich done, Sean? I ordered one. I had one yesterday for lunch. It was a turkey, avocado, lettuce, and extra, extra, extra mayo.

And are we toasting the bread? No. Really? How about a light toast with a little snap on it? It's like a real soft thing there. Extra... Do you literally say extra, extra, extra mayo? Yes, I always do because they never put enough on. You know what I like? I like it when you get one of those sort of like an Italian, you know what I mean, with different cuts of meat, some cold cuts, lettuce, tomato, and get some oil and vinegar, get a little salt and pepper. Stuff it in there. Stuff it in there. By the way, it reminds me of something about wearing the hats all around. I remember...

I remember Thoreau went through a long phase. He was always wearing like hats and little pork pie hats and fedoras and stuff. And I remember Poehler said to him one day, you look fedorable. And it just really killed us. Hey, what kind of hat do I have on today?

You got one of those smart list merch hats. That's right. Yeah. Wait, where do we get one of those? Sorry to interrupt guys. It looks like Carrie Russell's entering the waiting room. She might just want to say hi. You want to just put her on, put her out, put Carrie on there. We're going to air it. There she is. If you can hear us, hello. We'll have to have her on. They, I will tell the boys they can't hear you right now because they're on the other system, but you were fantastic. Thank you. Bye. Okay. Thanks for everything. Really appreciate it. Well done.

I love that we just had a quick visual visit from Carrie Russell. We couldn't hear her, but we got to see her, and she was there. She was probably with the kids, right, Sean? Yeah, she probably would. It's about time for pickup. Yeah, it's probably for nap time for our kids, which she would then sing. What would she sing to them if she was going to put her kids to bed? She would probably sing, like, Rock-a-bye, baby. Oh, God.

Jason hates when we go up. He just pinches that voice off. Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbico.

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