"Billy Crudup"
01:01:15 Share

Hey, guys. Welcome to my cold open. And it's a real cold open because I have a cold. And this is the open of the show that we call Smartless. Let's go. Smart. Less. Smart. Less. Smart. Less.

Wait, JB, let's talk about this. Sometimes I get more excited about Jason's life than Jason does. And I'm so excited about Carry On with Taron Egerton, which you just wrapped filming. So I'm super, super, super excited about that movie. Well, me too. I was excited because Jason last week-- No, no, this is not hurtful. Was about to shoot a scene where he-- I don't want to wreck the ending.

Right, I know this story. This is funny. But you know the end, and I was so happy to hear what he had to do on the last day. It is really funny. Can you say, Jay? I had to perform an extremely dramatic scene, right? Very physical. Imagine the most dramatic thing you could ever do. Yeah.

And, you know, it's just, it's the kind of thing you never want to have to act out. And I had to, and I think I averted or I avoided the larger minds in the minefield. But I did smell my SAG card burning in my back pocket just a little bit. I don't know if it burned all the way through, but it's singed. Can you tell the thing how you re-blocked the fight choreography? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. To a minimum. I'm supposed to have this big fight with Taryn. And, of course, we go in there and the stunt coordinators are, you know, are always amazing and they always come up with great stunts. But inevitably, if you're a soft sort of, you know, 54-year-old guy like me, only swings hammers when there's a large insect around.

You're going to say, no, thanks. I don't want to do the real intense stunt stuff. Can we reimagine this fight to where I just get him in an immediate chokehold. That's it. And we just have, we do our two pages of dialogue with both of us on our backs and I've got him sort of, you know, neutralized. And there was supposed to be like 25 crossbones

Karate chop moves. Because I'm supposed to be a very skilled bad guy that knows how to really get the beat down. And you're like, just one headlock and done. I'm like, yeah, I feel like my character is kind of bored with all that stuff now. I feel like my character would be in slippers at home by now. I feel like my character would go out for dinner once a month max. My character's a little bit more of a podcaster.

By the way, Amanda kept going, you know, this air is after, but Amanda kept going, and he's coming back next week, and then he's done with the movie, and he's going to go, and you guys get to go to Pebble Beach, and then done. And then golf is done, and then I'm done with it. We've got the Genesis Pro-Am week after that. I thought we were doing the Pro-Am. I thought it was Pro-Am because it takes place in the morning, right? Like, is there a Pro-PM? Oh, God.

I'm dead serious. That's what I thought it was. You're going to get fired off of this podcast. What's am? Why is it am? Amateur. Professional amateur pro-am. Is that what you? Oh, my gosh. There it is. Oh, my God. I hear our guest laughing. I know. Me too. I hear our guest laughing. Let's get to him. While we're talking about actors, let's go ahead and get to this guy. So sometimes an actor has talent, and then sometimes they have good looks, and then sometimes they got both.

Our next guest has got neither. Huh. Yeah. That's a good one. No real bone structure to speak of. Uh-huh. He's got not much of a speaking voice. Uh-huh. His talent has been questioned by some of the greats after working with him. Uh-huh. Folks like De Niro, Pitt, Blanchett, Christian Bale, Albert Finney, Tom Cruise, Matt Damon, directors Woody Allen, Cameron Crowe, Tom Stoppard. They all worked with him just the once. Wow.

Wow. Award givers have been equally circumspect, giving him one Tony Award. Not 10, not 12. He's received one Emmy. Again, not 10, not 12. He's not a rookie, but at 54, he's only been doing this for 30 years. And finally, he could be a bit brighter, having received not a PhD, just a master's.

So let's try to lift his spirits up. Let's get the word out there for this guy because while he may have a bunch of fancy credits out there, he may need some work because he's starring in only two television series at the current time. Let's give a warm welcome, a supporting welcome to Thomas and George Ann's boy, Billy Crudup. Oh my gosh. William. Bravo.

Look, it's our dinner pouch. Hi. Hi. That's an awful lot not to live up to. Well, right? So that was sort of complimentary yet kind of hurtful at the same time, right?

It was the kind of greeting I would expect from a close, close friend who doesn't ever have to call. Yeah, we've never met. Never met. You know what, Billy? Don't weigh in on this. Don't weigh in. It's the kind of friendship. I text you regularly.

For me. It's important to keep boundaries. I'm pleased that Will is so skilled at exercising that talent in his relationship. Will's worse than me. First of all, not true.

Really? No. Of all of us, you're the worst. I want to look up our chain, Will. It's true. Will is pretty good at that. Sean, you and Will are actually pretty good at keeping... You guys text and call. You guys FaceTime all the time, right? Yeah. Like kids. You guys FaceTime? How about just a phone call?

Wait a second. First of all, wipe that face. Look off your face. You FaceTimed me the other night out of the blue from New Orleans because you were lonely. Because I know that's how you like to do it, like the kids. And then I FaceTimed him right after you did. And Jason, he just told me you made fun of him for the same reason I made fun of him because he was covering his furniture outside when it wasn't raining. Yeah, what's the matter with you, Will?

Hey, Billy, Will's got... Why do you cover your furniture when it's not raining? He covers his outdoor furniture with a plastic... I was worried about misting and stuff, and I was just, I don't know. Misting? You were worried about misting? But they're outside. I just don't like to get wet. My grandparents used to have plastic on their furniture, and we used to come up with the metaphor, when are you going to take the plastic off for, like, living your life? So you don't have to, like...

keep all the furniture covered all the time. He's just kind of like, because it's outdoor furniture, it's made to be outdoor. Well, as everybody knows, we've had the rain out here has been biblical in the last couple of weeks. Everybody knows it. So everybody's been... But we were kind of past that. Yeah. Whatever. Anyway, here we go. We have Billy. Billy, we don't want to waste Billy. Here's Billy, the great Billy Crudup. Guys, poolside furniture is my specialty. Yeah.

I'm hoping that is poolside and not just an outdoor deck or something. He does have a pool over there, a real nice pool. Hey, Bill, I'm just taking a look at your studio apartment. How's everything going? Are you okay? Okay.

Hey, he's out here on location, Will. I try to keep the cost of living low so I can keep the art high. He's working two shows out here. He lives in the New York City. I know he does. Wait, what's the other show? We know you're on the morning show. What's the other show? It's Hello Tomorrow. Oh. Yes. Yeah. Now, I want you both to guess what it's about. Will, you first. Hello Tomorrow. Time travel.

Wow. Good. What do you got? You got a Wi-Fi signal over there or something? What about you, Sean? Hello tomorrow. Exclamation point. It's like a romantic story. Like you're going to tell your girlfriend hello tomorrow because you can't wait to see her all the time. Okay.

I don't know. Will's got it. Will's got it. A beautiful musical that we're going to star in together for the first time. Finally making an appearance on stage. That's right. Willie, I'm hearing this is about lunar timeshare. What? This is correct. So Will was in the ballpark there.

It takes place in a sort of imagined future for America where door-to-door salesmen still exist. And we're selling timeshares on the moon. Because travel up there is common. It's like the future is going to hold all of the incredible promises that we've all been waiting for. The hover cars, the jetpacks, timeshares on the moon. It's all going to happen and life will be so much better. When does it come out?

February 17th. February 17th. I'm still watching the show. Wait a second. Holy shit, Billy. You kind of made this on the sly. You didn't tell any of us. I didn't know you were doing this. It's on our chain, Will. I told you all about it. No, it's not. I'm going to go and look back on the chain. You thought he was being rude about, I'll say hello to you tomorrow. Okay.

Tomorrow, exclamation point. Like really sticking the dagger in there. I can see the misunderstanding. Classic crude up. So this is on the Apple, right? It's on the Apple. What kind of place would you be offering timeshares in up there on the moon? Are they condos? Are they like ranches? You can take your pick. We've got A through D units. The A units have poolside, three bedrooms,

expansive master overlooking a lunar crater. You have pools up there on the moon. That's correct. Really? Well, this is what we're selling, Jason. The...

Brightside is a corporation that was started to make affordable housing luxury but affordable housing for people on the moon so that all of their dreams will come true when they when they rid themselves of the cesspool that is earth. All right. Well, you let me tell you something Bateman if this were real, yeah We all know the three of us know that Jason would be the first person he'd love to go live on the moon And he doesn't have to talk to anybody

Imagine how far you drive the ball in almost zero gravity. I mean, I'd get such carry from my wedges. Three and a half mile drive. So, Billy, I want to get... There's so many things that I want to get into, but the first thing I want to get into is tell us a little bit about how Billy started.

I mean, I don't even know if I know this. I don't know this story. What was your first introduction to acting? I don't know this story. That's my first question. I don't know Billy's story in that way. What got you started? I know. Hey, Bill. Guys, I have been waiting to tell you my story. How long is this podcast?

We're going to make it a double. Whatever you want. It's going to be a double pop-up. For you, you're a friend of the program. Music to my ears. So parents were one. Dad was an attorney, maybe? Dad was not an attorney. Dad was a salesman. Wikipedia. He was a traveling salesman. My grandfather was an attorney. So there was an attorney in the family. Also a congressman.

That was previous to that. Yeah, that was several generations ago. Both the state senator and the congressman. But that's going back into the 19th and 18th century. Sure, but there's pedigree. Well, there was a Baptist preacher and

And in the article that my grandfather kept, that was, I guess, an homage to him or an obituary, I couldn't tell which. But it was told that there was no man of greater pulpit power. So there's a kind of performative streak in the crude up veins there. Yeah. But my dad was not an actor. My mom was not an actor. So

all that performing that I did just as a way to fit in guys. I'm sure you're familiar with that feeling a little bit lonely, a little bit on the outside. There was school in Florida. Yes. There was high school in Florida. I went to about eight different schools before I finished high school. Cause we moved around quite a bit. And so my way of fitting in was being the class clown. I was not prodigious in height.

So getting the attention of anybody around me required... You had to throw your voice quite a bit higher. So did you... But traveling from school to school and always moving homes and stuff like that, how did that affect you? Because

Because Scotty had to do that. Scotty moved like 17 times in his life. So whenever he sees moving boxes, he gets stressed out. That was more law-motivated though, right? -Is that true? -They were out there. Being on the lam is a little different. There was some proximity. My dad, he skirted the edges as well, so there was some anxiety surrounding it.

But truthfully, adaptability is what you begin to really rely upon. And listening to people, reading people, figuring out what the new group that you want to be friends with in grammar school is into. Who they need you to be. Who do they need? Exactly. So that kind of accommodation works terrific in telling a story. Who do you need me to be in this story? But did you see a movie or TV show or play that was like,

Oh, that looks really fun. I bet I could... Caligula. Yes. Wow. Really? Caligula. Wow, that's the thing that really got me going. Wait, so you moved around a lot and then did you what? You became, all of a sudden you decided you were a teenager and you sort of getting into theater and doing... Any performance that would come up, Will, in school, for instance, if you had to do...

a presentation for history where they required you to dress up as somebody. I always went a little too far. I always was more comfortable than other people at memorizing the lines and pretending to be. But I went full bore and it was clear that

I didn't have any shame. There was no problem being up in front of people and worried that they were going to laugh at me. You should have become a politician. Yeah, well, having no shame must have really prepared you for the time that we live in now, which is just all it takes is having no shame. Bill, you just mentioned memorizing all the lines. I will say something. Okay. Having gone over to...

Having gotten over and having a little fun with the folks, the gang over there at the morning show the last couple years. Hold for a pause. Oh, yeah, baby. And being a fan of the show before, being Doug. I love it when Billy calls me Doug, which is just... God, you're such a Doug, Will. I know. Doug.

Billy and I had like two scenes together and he just kept calling me Doug. And Billy's got to know. Yeah, but I got to refer to you in a lot of scenes you weren't there. And every time I did, I would go, you got to make sure you get rid of Doug. It was really fun to lean into my idea. That's rich coming from a Corey. I know it is rich coming from Corey, but...

But here's the thing. You're a character on that show. You're so good on that show, and you were well-deserved in winning the Emmy for it. You have your dialogue. You don't just have dialogue. You have monologues virtually every time you speak. And the amount of dialogue you had to memorize for every episode goes above and beyond normally what people have to for...

TV programs. It's fucking insane. It is crazy. Yeah, it's a lot. How do you do it? It's definitely a lot. And I made some poor choices in... Because I... And it was born out of desperation, another quality I think a lot of actors share. And I really wanted this part. I thought it was a fantastic part. I had to convince a few people that I knew how to play in a way that would help the show. And part of my pitch was...

was that his mind is extremely facile and he can come up with big ideas and express them over the course of a single breath. So as long as you give me enough time to, I need, you know, a week, two weeks at best to parse one of those out. But you just, there's these things called mnemonics that you can use to try to memorize dialogue. You know, I think everybody who's an actor, I can guarantee you,

Never had a problem memorizing anything. Their brains are built to internalize dialogue. As they get older and that facility starts to evaporate, that's when you see people start to get panic attacks because the one thing that they took for granted that everybody gets –

Everybody's afraid of public speaking because they're worried they'll forget what they're going to say. People who are actors, they have a brain that can accommodate internalizing text in the same way that people who are good at math do. So that's one of the things that is not a problem for me. However, speaking that fast and having thoughts that expansive is extremely difficult, as Jason noted in his introduction. I am not— Not bright. Not bright.

Right. Sorry, were you going to say that? I was going to say bright. I'll cut you off. I was going to use a different word, smart, but bright is sort of more on the point. You cut him off. Definitely more on point. I'm not that bright. So what I do, though, is I work.

-Yeah. -Yeah. No one's gonna outwork him. I apply pressure through work. Yes, exactly. And you can't talk to Billy before the scene 'cause he's just, like, got so much shit that he's gotta say-- I do. I sit in the corner. I stare in the corner and make sure-- And he'll kind of-- Like, you walk in, you're like, "Hey, man." He's like, "Hey, just--" And you're like, "Oh, fuck, he's got this-- His energy is like a fucking cornered rat." Now, wait. Are you saying that my ability to learn lines is gonna leave me one of these days?

I'm just going to say it's one of the all time greats. Yeah. I'm telling you, Jason can look at a page and you're saying that that's because once that's gone, I'm screwed. Not for you. You're, uh, let him finish. You're on so many drugs. You're not aging anymore. I mean, you look so much. I don't even know what it is. Where do you import it from?

That's my question. All the serums. I know you're not, the serums. It's the serums, guys. And probably the- It's a facial toner. A lot of niacin or something. No, it's a facial toner. Okay. And then there's a new eye cream that Amante gave me. And I wear that. Get your money back. Get your money back. Wait, what? I have a receipt.

All right, now hang on a second. Who was your biggest influence growing up? Well, my dad loved Paul Newman movies. Okay. And so, you know... Is that why you did The Voice in the documentary? Definitely. When I saw Cool Hand Luke, that...

changed my idea of what actors and movie stars and movies could do. I wrote a paper on it in college. I loved it so much. And so when Ethan was doing that thing on Paul Newman, of course I wanted to be a part of it. But the stage, too, my mom, because we were born on Long Island, my mom would take us into the city to see plays. Oh, Arnett Summers out there.

What's that? Will? I spend time out on Long Island in the summertime, yeah. You do? In Port Washington? Yeah, just like there, like in the center of it? I mean, just east of there. That's exit 34, exit 35? Yeah, it is exit 34, like near St. Or do you go further east? I go a little further east and a little further south. But still on the island, right? Still on the island, for sure. For sure. Just past Manorville. Oh.

Okay. And past Quag and everything, is it getting into East of Quag? A little bit. Past East of Quag? Even? A little past East Quag. Is it past Sabonic? You know that golf course Sabonic? Oh, Sabonic, yes. Is it a little past that? It's a little past Sabonic. It's a handsome spot. So that's not where I was from.

Okay. Manhasset? Manhasset's actually closer to Port Washington. It's kind of one town over, basically. Correct. It is one town over. In fact, that's where we shot the exteriors for Hello Tomorrow. The hospital that was on the call sheet was the hospital that I was born in, North Shore Hospital. So I was playing my father in the town where I was first born. It was a pretty strange experience. No way, Billy. Yeah. That's where they get the exclamation point from because it's like, what?

Because today is too much. And now, a word from our sponsor. And now, back to the show. Now, when you were at NYU, not getting a PhD, do you still use things that you learned there while getting just your master's? Or do you feel like... First of all, you are impressive, Jason. I will say that. Thank you.

To make getting a master's in anything sound like a disappointment, that's a rare gift. You should see it. Some people stick with it and some people don't. You should see it. They're in tears. You broke up there just for a second there, Will. What did you say? Do you still, I mean, like, I would imagine, let me guess here. I would imagine the stuff that you learned there, which is incredible.

good high quality acting lessons you learn or you you use more in theater than you do in television or film correct or not correct some of the tools you know for using your body in an expansive way if you know what i mean caligula um are best exhibited yes on stage um but uh

If I had one of those TiVo 10-second things here, I would back that up. Back it up. I would listen up Will's fuck you out a bunch of times. You better fucking finish with the direction you're going. Finish. Finish. Keep fucking eye contact with him. Keep goddamn eye contact.

So finish the story, Billy. So it is not... Look at Will Square and finish the story. I have found that on stage, you can apply many of the skills. However, with this part that I'm doing right now, it simply would not be possible...

Were I not to have acquired the skills that I did in graduate school? Because my mouth doesn't move as fast as this guy's does. Well, I think if we're going to build a clickable headline here, we're going to say, Billy needs no acting lessons whatsoever to take on the character of, which Apple show are we talking about right now? I was talking about the morning show. The morning show. Takes no talent.

You may have misheard me. I think we've got it. Perhaps the rigor that we put into setting up this system that I've got in my home now has not been effective and you didn't hear me. The point was the work.

Did you hear it well? I did, but I just want to implore you because I think Jason said he's putting you into a trap because as we both, as we all know... I agree. There's one critic who were she to read The Morning Show just takes... It's a breeze for me to do and I don't have to put in any work. There's only one critic...

And she listens to every episode. And your fucking phone will blow up, Billy, so fucking fast. Yeah, you check your email. Again, I would like to. Aniston just fired you. I should just go get my iPad and show you my application that has the notes in there.

But for this particular character, I have to employ every single device that I have at my disposal, which include... This is the one with the exclamation point? Memorization. No, this is the morning show. We're still on the morning show. Okay, so Hello Tomorrow, I'm playing a version of my dad, and he speaks a lot slower. I just had to connect to some emotions and some existential despair. Okay.

In the morning show, there are no emotions. He's really enjoying his position in life, but he does speak very fast. So that's one thing I don't do. I do speak slow, and I am connected to my emotions, Jason, okay? I have feelings. So, Billy, you have spent a lot of time in, you talk about the theater, you spent a lot of time early on. Actually, we were mentioning Ethan. Didn't you and Ethan Hawk at one point do like three episodes

two or three plays in a row? We most certainly did, Will. It was a few years running. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah. I know Jason wasn't going to. It was called Coast of Utopia. Yes. And I will now do all three plays for Jason playing each part. Coast of Utopia is the play you won the Tony for, correct? Correct.

That is correct. And that was written by Tom Stoppard. There's a big deal. As Jason knows, it was about Russian philosophers at the turn of the century. Yes. And if you can imagine an 11... Very underreported on that. If you can imagine an 11-hour meditation on that, that's what you would have gotten if you had seen Coast of Utopia with Ethan and I. And a number of other... Was it really 11 hours? Yeah, we did...

There was three plays that we did in repertory. So we did the first play,

on, say, a Tuesday night. And then the second play, we would do a Wednesday matinee. And then the third play, we would do a Wednesday night. Of three different plays? But then on Saturday, we would do a marathon where at 11 o'clock, we would do the first play. Then there would be a lunch break. And then at 3 o'clock, we would do the next play. And then there would be a dinner break. And then 8 o'clock, we would do the last play. And every single one of those performances, 1,500 people at the Vivian Beaumont Theater was packed. Really?

People liked the event, even if it was about Russian philosophy. Yeah. They liked being a part of it. And my character died in the middle of the second play, so I got to get on my little Vespa, wheel my ass home, have a little nap, maybe cook some dinner for my son, and then

Take the Vespa back up to Lincoln Center for the curtain call at 11 o'clock. Yeah. Wow. How about that? Wow. Do you have, like, when you're a younger actor, though, first of all, we chatted on my other podcast called Hypochondriactor quite a while ago. Wait, what's it called? Had a blast. What's it called?

Where do we find it? It's fine. Anyway, so listen. But I never asked you this because you're in some of my favorite movies. We talked about this before. Name one. Alien Covenant. Good. Mission Impossible 3. Was it 2, 3, 4? Yeah. But anyway, tons of stuff. Sleepers. Spotlight. You were in Spotlight, which I love. By the way, Billy, your name came up when we had Krasinski on a few weeks ago. And we were talking about that scene where you and Cruz are mouthing to each other.

Because you're speaking, but you're not saying anything. And we were talking because we love that scene. I love when you do that. When you were younger, though, and you got like some of these big, you know, jobs, like working with Ridley Scott or whoever, Tom Cruise or, you know, you were almost famous too, weren't you, I think? Yeah. Yeah, Cameron Crowe. Like when you're younger and you're like working with these bigger names, directors or whatever it is,

where don't you kind of freak out like I can't believe I'm here I can't believe I'm here I can't believe I got the part I can't you know what I mean like for me I would be like I don't know it would be distracting almost like I couldn't get past oh my god I'm working with Ridley Scott it was awful

Yeah. No, absolutely terrible experience. Because the only thing you can do is react the opposite way because you don't want to be fired. So you end up acting overconfident and pissing off the people that you've admired because you're just trying to act like you're not going to shit yourself, which is all you're thinking about. Is that true? Is that true? Oh,

I was doing Barry Levinson. I loved his movies growing up. Speaking of influences, like Diner and the whole Baltimore trilogy, Avalon. Tin Men, actually. Do you guys remember that movie? For sure. Guys Who Sold Aluminum Siding. Richard Dreyfuss. Richard Dreyfuss, exactly. So there's a lot of... Hello Tomorrow has a lot of the same kind of spirit. You know, that Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. You can sell your way into a better future.

It doesn't matter what you're selling. The product is irrelevant. You can, as an American, just take some gumption. The land of opportunity selling is the purest example of that. Jason takes two gumptions every night before bed, right? Don't you? Are you up to two? You're up to two. And one before a podcast. It helps. It helps. Now, I want to talk about... Hang on. He's making a point. Sure. Yes, please. Land the plane. Sorry. Right.

No, no, no. So I was working with Barry Levinson...

One of the first things I did was he directed Sleepers, and that was starring... Everybody, yeah. Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Brad Pitt, amongst others. Kevin Bacon. I was shitting myself. This was your first film, wasn't it? Kevin Bacon. I did one independent movie that I don't know if you guys saw called Grind. Oh, boy. No, but add an R onto that. You have the... Sean has the app, though, don't you? Yeah.

That's different. Am I thinking of the same thing? I want to get to the film you did called Pillow Man. No, I want to talk about Barry Levinson. I want him to finish with Barry Levinson. So you're admiring Barry. So to Sean's point before, the last thing that you think to do is...

act giddy, you know, because first of all, we're playing gangsters. But secondly, you, you have to feel like you, you want to make them feel like you fit in, that you can handle the job.

consequently, you miss the opportunity to tell them all how much you love them, how much their work has inspired you throughout your lives. I was thinking about, because when I did Without Limits, which was about this runner Steve Prefontaine, Robert Towne directed it. And he was like always thoughtful and poetic and a bit cantankerous and stuff. And so like we were constantly working together trying to figure out the script, but Conrad Hall was shooting it. And

as an adult, the fact that I didn't spend all the time asking him every possible question I could about the incredible career that he had had up to that point, rather than screaming at him that I understood the character better than he did. Um, that would have been a, a,

Because you never know if the person wants to talk about all that or not. You know, it's a delicate kind of thing. For sure. But those are those things of like, as you get older, you're able to appreciate in a way that you couldn't when you're that young, of course, right? Yeah, exactly. And the idea that you can take a moment to go like, hey, I...

Really appreciate what you've done. I need to tell you this, and I want to carve some time out, and I feel like, Jason, do you want to... I just want to say thank you. I'll give you a minute here. Jason's great at that. Actually, he was like that on the longest week. Every single day, he would start with a positive affirmation with me. He would bring me a clip from either something...

I did on film or read to me something, a review of me on stage, just to keep my chin up because he admired my work. And I appreciated that. That's because he's a veteran. He's been working since he was two. If I was late to the game, I didn't start professionally working until I was in my late 20s. Well, I did ask you quite a bit about how you kept your water weight down during the pre-Fontaine thing, right? So sinewy.

Jason has a photo of you at the end of his treadmill, and that's what keeps him going, just stares at it. Hey, what about... Did you have to, like, turn into a long-distance runner for Prefontaine? Great question. No. And I did not have to turn into a killer for sleepers. Nobody asked that one. Oh, shit. Sometimes it's just pretend. Yeah. It is just pretend. It's called acting, Jason. Look into it, you dick. When they...

Thank God. Thank God the woman, there was a woman, um, on it who was our consultant, our, our running consultant, because she had, she was a professional runner. She ran in the Olympics. Um, and she was also in personal best, which was Robert town's first movie on running with Margo Hemingway, Mariel Hemingway, Mariel Hemingway. And, um,

so she understood the difference between running as a sport and running on film. And it turns out when you run on film, you're only doing intervals. So you don't want to ever train for more than 200 meters because the camera's not going to do like a pan of the entire stadium. So you're going to do little segments at a time for each part of the race. So what she trained me to do was intervals. And, you know, it was funny. Some of the professional runners, they wanted to keep just running and running and running. And she was right. They would burn out. By the end of the day, they were done. And,

But, you know, it does lead to more. Sean, you do that, right, for intervals of, you said you've had a lot of intervals or you've had the runs now for about two months, haven't you? Oh, Will cracked himself up on that one. What are you like?

But I managed to. I plowed through. I plowed through. Hey, Bill. Now, this is Chatbot 499, whatever, that new AI thing. Sure. ChatGBT. Yeah, that's it. So Chatbot wants to know, what do you feel your most underrated performance is? And then as a follow-up,

What's your most overrated performance? Oh, my God. He put in, what were your search terms in the chat, GBT, you fucking psycho? By the way, did it reveal Billy's answers? A lot of this is for Billy Corbin, but I think this works. I think my most underrated performance is in Ozark.

And the most, why did we cut you out? I know. I think that's one of the reasons, um, over nearly everything. Everything's overrated. It's a, it's a shame, uh, that I'm on your program because it's, it's, it's signaled the beginning of the decline for you all.

Meaning this is the peak right now? You're at the zenith? Well, the zenith was just over here, and as soon as this arrived on the radar, as soon as you got some crewed up magic. I want to know, here's something else Chatbot wants to know. Archie was locked out, sorry. Archie was locked out. Oh, were you gone? We didn't notice. So you're an EP on Hello Tomorrow. Yes.

You are, and for Tracy, that means executive producer. Now, aside from the incredible contractual perk that Aline Kashishian gave you by getting you that position. She's a manager. That salary, I mean, she just knows how to do it. And Jimmy Darmody, another great golfer. Now, what are you doing as EP? Are you out there as executive producer? Are you cracking the whip? Are you showing up on set on the days you're not acting?

A lot of silence because I didn't do a lot of that on Ozark, but I was watching dailies. I'm in there. I'm looking at cuts. So I'll be frank. I was not in the lead on that idea. Sure.

I was informed after the contract negotiations were completed that I was a producer on this program. But you're being very modest here, and I'm teasing you a bit. But you're a part of the brain trust there that's doing stuff to that show that is more than what you could do as an actor.

Yes. You're guiding it. You're casting it. Billy, I'll help you out here. Let's just say that you get to a certain point in your career, and this especially often comes with experience as well, that it gives you a voice at the table that allows you to participate in conversations about the creative direction of whatever it is you're working on, and you've earned that.

To be able to go, yeah. Because if you're just an actor for hire, you can, as the actor, you can go, I don't know about this, but they can go, okay, well, we'll take that on board. As an EP, you can go, hey, my voice, I get to vote on this. And are you enjoying that, Billy? Are you, are you, are you? So it's taken, I'm going to answer this seriously. Okay, guys. Yeah. I mean to ask it seriously. I'll stop teasing. Okay. Yeah.

So I've always thought of myself as an interpretive. That's our time. That's our time. Sorry. One second. But we're going to have you back. Back to Washington. Big fans. I never talked about being a clown and my young mind work. No, seriously. Go ahead. Seriously, go ahead. Go ahead.

Also, my first job was as a reenactor. We'll get back to that though. Okay. Um, that's not on the wiki page. I have thought of myself. I am not, uh, somebody who like the three of you, I'm sure, um, can create things, write things themselves, collaborate with a friend on a script, uh,

I read something and if it speaks to me or some part of it speaks to me, I want to do it. If I don't understand it or there's a part of it that I don't understand at all, I don't do it. I don't go, oh, I understand in the third act. We just need to polish on the antagonism there. The guy gets to the peak of his arc too soon and then what are we doing for the last 20 minutes? I just don't think like that. I think, okay, there's something –

about this material that I think makes for an exciting story, and I bet I could help with that part. And if the director can explain the way in which they plan on making that story come to life in a way that I can understand, then I do it, and I leave everything to the director. Everything, all the produce, all the editing. Of course, we talk about my interpretation of the character and how...

on a scale of bad to terrible where it is at that point in the, in the shoot and what I can do to improve and, and live up to my promise. But I don't go, let me get into the editor. Let me fix it. I never think, ah, I know how this movie would have worked. Yeah. I could have, no, it's just not a part. I mean, Justin has had that instinct throw since, you know, I knew him 30 years ago. He's wanted to be a part of, uh, that creative storytelling. And it has always, uh,

And look at him now. Arrested, incarcerated for, what did he get, 10 years, I think? 10 to 20, I think. But we're going to be here when he gets back. I wanted to get to Thoreau in a second because I want to hear the end of your thing. But he's going to be great. But he's going to be great. He's going to be okay. But have you noticed, don't you see lately, the photos lately, that his arms have gotten a little bit smaller? Yeah, well, those are going to bulk up in prison. You betcha. Yeah, because prison is a great place for arms.

arms. It's a good point, but I'm just, I don't know. I just sort of feel like he's finally catching up with him. He's looked good and sort of young for his age and now it's really catching up to him. He doesn't look so hot. Use that box of sleeves that you sent him. It happens to everybody, but once he gets a hold of Jason's niacin and beetroot, he'll be fine. Wait, Bill, you're a reenactor? Wait, so you've never been part of that process? Oh yeah, so I didn't want to do any of that. And so when it actually came to this and we

We had to go through the casting. That was the first part of it where I got to have some agency, for lack of a better word, and say maybe that's the tone we're looking for. Maybe we don't need Arnett. Maybe Bateman is not right for anything. When it came to those discussions, can we get more Hayes? Is there a possibility he's even available? No, he's got two podcasts.

Those kinds of conversations, they were moderately exciting. But the work is what I really liked. And then when, to your point before, I did watch dailies and I got to have a point of view about when I saw the assemblies, whether or not the work that I was responding to was actually in the cut. And that I got to exert quite a bit of influence, which I felt very proud about. Now, when this comes out and if people have problems with certain takes,

that were the ones that I leaned into, I think we'll have an idea of what kind of producer I am. It's a lot of, it's just a lot of, like a secondary character is going, hey, you know, I got to take off. I got to leave early for work. And you're going, why? Why? We're trying to go to the moon.

By the way, that's a great scene. Hey, I got to take off. I got to get home. I'm late. I just got to head out. The beginning is...

When you're not with your kid, your incredible kid, I love him. You've done a good job. Terrific. By the way, he's in film school right now, looking to get into the business there, kicking some ass. He's a real nice kid, your son Will, and I will say, I hadn't seen him in a few years. The leap I made was...

I want to say probably almost 10 years from the time when you and I were staying in that place years ago, that weird place in West Hollywood. And Will was probably four or five or something at the time, I think. Yeah, that's right. And Archie had just been born.

And then cut to all of a sudden we were out at our friend's place and then there's this like full-blown adult sitting next to you between you and me and you're like, hey, and this is Will. I go, wait a second, this is you. And we will be right back. All right, back to the show.

I have a question about, you know, when you, because you, thank you. When you work a ton and it seems like you don't stop and part of that includes travel. What are you running from? What's that? What am I calling from? No, I thought you were going to say, what are you running from? What?

And you're constantly, you know, different cities, different whatever, hotels or studio, one-bedroom apartments, whatever you say. Do you ever feel like an energy pulling you home wherever you are? Or can you be present and go, oh, my God, this is fun. I love being away from home for this long. I like this job. Like, can you be fully present wherever you are? Or do you constantly feel like, God, I kind of wish I was home? Sean, it's a great question. You know, I didn't actually –

spent a lot of time working outside of New York for a while for that exact reason. The draw of home is pretty strong. And obviously when you got a child in school, that's a pretty strong draw. Never stop being. And also to Jason's point, looking at him now, because a typical person

Kearney. I like the Kearney life too. Yeah. I like being on the road, but not the way that I did when I was younger. Yeah. I much prefer to be at home. Well, then what would a perfect day be for you today? Like, first of all, what city would you be in? Perfect day. What city are you in?

I'm in New York. You're in New York. What are you doing? I wake up. What time are you going to get up? I wake up around 7.30, have myself a couple cups of coffee. Morning. Because I was up late watching Carolina basketball.

And I sleep in until 7.30. And then I make some coffee and I call my buddy. So you make the coffee. You don't have the coffee, like one of those programmable. I make the coffee and drip coffee, just drip coffee, like an espresso roast, a little milk and sugar. And I put that in my to-go box.

Where are we going? My to-go cup. Sure. And... Are you going to leave the house before you've evacuated your bowels? I kiss my girlfriend goodbye. He's kissing people. Shut up. Sorry. I meet my friend John Conley at the golf course. And the two of us walk around in about three and a half hours or so. Out in Jersey. Maybe shoot somewhere in the low 80s. Have a nice lunch there. Oh, so we're still sleeping. Yeah.

No, this is now we're not. I thought he was dreaming. It's better if I take it back from the beginning. It's better when I get back. Okay. Sure. So I wake up at seven 30. Yeah. No. So, so, so you finished. So, so, so, well that's, that's lunchtime. Now you go home. That's right. So, and, and, and you're going to, I have a little nap ski. Oh, good. Welcome to middle age. Maybe 20 minute, uh, power nap or something. Uh,

shower, have an early dinner because the lady and I are taking in some theater. And we're going to go see a show that night. That's nice. And we meet a couple of the cast afterwards at Barst and Trolley. And that's a perfect day. What show are you seeing? Yeah. What are we like? We like a musical theater? What is up now? That's a great question.

There's a lot of good stuff. That's a great question. I don't know what's up. There's a great new play opening this spring. Tell us, Will. At the Belasco. Oh, at the Belasco. If you can get tickets. If you can get tickets. It's called... Good night, Oscar. Wait, the Belasco. Good night, Oscar. It's called Good Night, Oscar. Starring... Good night, Oscar, Mama? It's starring... Starring... The... Our... Our... Sean Hayes.

What in the world? That opens at the end of April. Sean Hayes back on Broadway. Is this happening? Yeah. B.O.B. On the Great White Way. When is this opening, Sean? We're all going opening night. No pressure, Billy. It opens April 23rd. April 23rd. Yeah.

Yeah, that's so nice of you guys to mention it. Well, the opening night is the 24th. Or 24th. Maybe it's the 24th. Yeah, trust me. I know it's the 24th. So now, Sean, would you like us... Four tickets? Sean, would you like us there at opening night or do you want us in the preview so we can give you notes? I actually really, truly, honestly don't want to know if you guys come. And by the way, if you don't come, that's okay too. But if you do come, I don't want to know. Are you kidding? I'm going to be like... Okay, don't listen. We'll be there opening night, guys. We won't let you know, but as soon as the curtain goes up, we're going to go, Sean! Yes! There he is! Yes!

Shut it! Shut it! Can you hear me? Sean! I can see him. He can't see me. He's a fool at all. Works on their side. Doesn't work on ours. Like that reflective mirror. No, wait. In Chicago. It's like we're in the... Billy in Chicago. Sean, you did it, huh?

It's happening. Look around. Say that line again. Enjoy it. Enjoy it. Soak it in. When we did it in Chicago, I entered my entrance and somebody from way in the back goes, just Jack. Oh my God. This is a matinee audience. Absolutely. It was a matinee. Matinee. There it is. Fucking fuck.

Well, that's exciting. Can't wait to see that, Sean. Hang on. So, Billy, I want to get to this, too, before, because you've done so many. First of all, we, like, glossed over Almost Famous because you did that. You were so good in that, and you just, like, shot out of a cannon on that movie. Like, it really took everybody. Like, it was awesome. Are you listening, Jason? Yeah, no, I was. Let's just highlight what Will said. That and Jesus is the Son.

I said that to you before when I saw you in Jesus' Son. I was like, oh, my God. But so, so good. And, you know, you've been so good on so many things. Everything. Everything over the years. And you were just one of those guys that...

Also, you feel like we're always rooting for it. Like, you just wanted good things to happen to you because you're a great guy. But one of the things that you and I have talked about this before, many times, Billy. No, it's not a but. In addition to that is, as you're a guy who did one of the great voiceover campaigns...

Of all time. Really a priceless, just priceless work. MasterCard, when you go into the movies, whatever, $5. Getting a ride home in a cabin. Wait, that was you? Yeah. Having a night that you remember forever, priceless. Wait, that was you, Billy? There's some things in life money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard. That's the tagline. No way. I didn't know that. That is correct. That was him for a long time. That's not exactly how it went, Will. It went like this. Let's let the guy do it, Will. Yeah, here we go. Here we go. Go ahead.

And action. Microphone, $2,450. New computer, $1,600. One hour of smartless, priceless. There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's bastard card. Mouthpiece.

MasterCard. MasterCard. That's crazy. I didn't know that was an iconic campaign. Will and I had it in common because he's been doing, obviously, every other voiceover that has been available. Yes, everything. It's too much. Billy, as a guy, as a voiceover guy back in the day, when there weren't as many people doing it at the time, you did that for a long time. I forget how many years. 13 years, yeah. 13 years. 13 years.

Yeah, I remember how like it was very singular. It was, you know, when that commercial came on and that voice and it was like, it was different than I think all the other stuff beforehand. Absolutely. It was a game changer. Yeah, what a great campaign. I don't know what it was about. You know, sometimes we get lucky and stuff. I think all of you guys know, especially you, Jason. A lot of luck. Luck is a big part of a career. Yeah. And I was in the right place at the right time. Actually, I did...

I did a session recording for this woman who produced, you know, her ad agency obviously was looking for a contract. We did one for Champion. And I just did it for the session fee. She goes, we're going to try to do it for MasterCard, $250 session fee. Why don't you come in and do it? And then she called me a little later. She said, we won the campaign. And they listened and they said, can you just use the voice that you used in the – and I was kind of like –

All right. I mean, how many of these are we going to do? And then by the third year, I'm like...

Can we please never stop this? Yeah. Once you're locked into it, well, you know what it is? It's the stability of the salary. So even if it's 10 grand, just knowing that you're going to get 10 grand that year, it helps with a lot of the nervous anxiety in a young career. But as Will well knows, you start to get good enough at it that you can roll in and

do 10 or 15 of them in 20 minutes. Well, Will does it from home. Yeah. I mean, he's been...

Phoned him from home for a while. Jesus Christ, screwed up. You know what? I tell you this. I did say to him this summer we were talking because, you know, John does the, as we all know, he does the Mercedes. And he's like, I go, how long have you been doing that? Johnny Hamm. Johnny Hamm. Johnny Hamm and cheese. How long have you been doing that? And he goes, 13 years. And I go, oh, that's cute. You know what I mean? That's cute. Has he been doing it for 13 years? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, he has. What? Now, what's your longest one, Will? I mean, you've been doing GMC for 60 years, right? GMC's, I mean, this year it'll be 25 years.

That's not true. 25 years. That's a true story, yeah. That's amazing. Are you kidding me? No, at the end of this year, it'll be 25 years I've been the voice of Gene. That's unbelievable. Is there a better thing in the world? No, it's the greatest. But you know what, though? It is cool knowing you, Will, and every time that Reese's thing comes, I was like, oh my God, there's Will. It's like...

It's a fun thing, but I will say that, you know, in the 90s, Billy, when you were doing that, and the reason I brought it up, because, yeah, for me as well, as a young actor who was, like, living paycheck to paycheck, when I would get voiceover gigs, it meant that...

I didn't have to go and do other jobs. I could rely on that. So you'd have time to, so you could audition for everything else. Because if you got a job working somewhere else, then it would take, it was always complicated trying to, you know, audition. And all I did was audition because I wasn't getting a lot of parts. I was only getting auditions. Yeah.

I think it's disgusting the way you guys are talking about your clients as just some sort of this like, you know, job security. You know, when I talk about Hyundai, well, when I talk about Hyundai, I'm doing it because it's an incredible vehicle. Okay? It's everything you want.

Okay? I don't do it for money. I don't do it for the fame. Oh, they heard that. You don't do it for money, huh? No. I enjoy the money, please. But I don't do it for the money. I do it because I believe. I stand corrected. You are absolutely right. Hyundai. It's your journey, guys. Jesus. It's your journey. Is that the tag? I believe it is, man.

Boy, it really resonates. Well, listen, only one company can be professional grade. The other one can supply a journey. That's true. That's true. I drive an Audi. Oh, beep, beep. We can tell. That's the tag with Chase. I just go, beep, beep. Sean, you should have said, I drive an Audi through my gate at the end of my driveway. Okay.

I drive an Audi, but I have an Iny. All right, so. Oh, boy. There goes my campaign. Billy. God, Billy, you've just done it all, and now it's full circle, and now you and Thoreau have been friends for a long time. Mm-hmm. True story. We did a very, very sleepy production of The Three Sisters. Oh, you did? Played by Anton Chekhov. Yes, of course.

at, um, the Roundabout Theater Company. Oh. We had, uh, Amy Irving, Gene Triplehorn, and Lily Taylor as the sisters. Oh, that's how bad. David Strathairn. Hell of a cast. Love that Gene Triplehorn. Jerry Stiller was in that, uh, production. No way. Um,

Yeah, and Giamatti. And I love Giamatti. Giamatti is what a jam. I mean, I don't know him, but what a great actor. He's fantastic. You've been close with Thoreau since then? How'd you do it? Since then, and then we lived next door to each other when we were on Washington Square Park. He was two doors down from me, and so we...

We used to, back in the days when we smoked cigarettes. Tell me if this is true, and I heard that you had to move because of the paparazzi that he was calling, that he was calling to come, because he would call and go, hey, I'm home, guys. I'm about to go out, right? Is that true? That is true, and then they would keep me in my tank top. They'd start taking pictures. I'd put on my messenger bag. I'd get on my 10-speed. Just a stunt double again. I'll be stepping out in three, two, one.

If you can get me as soon as I get on the bike, as my leg is going over the bike, that's why I moved.

That's why he moved. God, remember how quickly Thoreau gave up smoking? He was really quick on it, wasn't he? Wait, what? I don't remember that. Yeah, he quit smoking. Yeah. He just dropped. Well, I put them down. Like 2008, I want to say. And then he just like one day he was done. We have a friend that did hypnosis and that worked. No more smoking. Yeah, the hypnosis has worked for a friend of mine too.

Yeah. I just stopped. But, I mean, Justin is putting a hurtin' on the Nicorette industry. He never stopped. He and another good friend of ours never stopped chewing the gum, and they are fucking crazy. Yeah, they just drop those little turds all over the place. They give me anxiety and sort of, I don't know. She's just stuck with the cigarettes, Will. I think go back to the smokes, man. I'm not a doctor. Well, listen to this. I'm glad you say it. I say it all the time. What's that? Because...

that I'm not a doctor. But I will say, I tried to do one of those, the vape thing for a minute. That gave me anxiety too. It made me feel like shit. Huh.

Thoreau, by the way, let's be honest, Thoreau likes to get into the little jewelry type things too. Okay. Wow. He's chewing the gun. He's taking a lot of fire on this episode. I know. He's got one on his chin. Well, we haven't lobbed any grenades his way in a while, so it's about time that he took some. We've lobbed about 25 today. Wake up, JT. Yeah.

Oh, boy. All right. This is enough. We've taken up enough of your time. You probably got to do a re-record on hypochondriac probably maybe, you know, do some pickups on that. A couple pickups. I think we got everything we needed on that. Yeah.

You guys can let me know. If I'm the gang over at MasterCard, I'm thinking, I'm hearing this, I'm going, and I'm a new young executive, I don't know about the history. He's still got it. He's still fucking got it. And they love reboots and remakes. I'd be like, let's get Kudip in here. This is a great point. Barnett, oh my God. And why haven't Aline and Jimmy thought about that?

I don't know. Maybe just the MasterCard folks just need your number. Give them your cell phone real quick. What's your credit card number? 917. It's 800. Yep. Wow, he's still on the 800 number. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Sounds cheap. I missed a couple. Yeah. Well, listen, William. Guys. It's been a pleasure. It's been such a pleasure. It's been mine. No, mine. You know, we all see each other for dinner from time to time, and this is nice to just kind of see each other on this thing. I know.

Let's go. Let's go the four of us out to dinner one night. That's a safe space. Right? Come on, Jason. You do that. Let's go. Billy, what a delight. Listen, having you on the program here today and let me know about next week. Guys, this just started, right? This Smart List.

thing. How long has that been going on? It's been a great rehearsal. Let's go ahead and roll, guys. Rob, Bennett. I mean, what episode am I? Am I top 10? I mean, am I chronologically? We're going to cut it together and we'll see if it's really airing. How many of these have you done? Probably. 150. Bennett, how many episodes have you done? Yeah, we're like 137. 137. 139, 140? 140? Because I'm

I've been around. Is there a number you would like to be as a long time? You were busy memorizing dialogue and we didn't want to interrupt. So let me think about that dinner. Oh, fuck. This just took a turn. I'll see what kind of text I get from Arnett over the next 24 hours. See if we can make this shit happen.

Billy, we love you. Billy, we love you. We do love you. We miss you. Love you guys. Stop working so hard. Thanks for promoting Hello Tomorrow. Hello Tomorrow. Hello Tomorrow. Hello Tomorrow. Exclamation point. If you like MasterCard, you'll love Hello Tomorrow. Watching Hello Tomorrow with your friends?

Priceless. There you go. There are some things money can't buy for everything else. I can't wait, Billy. That sounds like everything I'm for that show. I can't wait. Excellent. I hope you enjoy it. There's some sci-fi in it. You'll like that part. That's why I'm going to tune in. Yes. Yes. All right. Love you. Love you. Mean it. Bye, Billy. Bye. Love you guys. Bye. Bye, buddy. Bye. Oh, bye.

Jay, when did you ask him to be on? Like, Billy's so great. I mean, I can't remember when. If I'm Billy, I'm mad at you. You know what I mean? Oh, really? Like Krasinski mad? You know, that was inexcusable. What part? What are you talking about? Will took 136 episodes before he invited John Krasinski on the show. Oh, I know. Like, we're not friends with him or something. I know. Fuck off.

No, that Billy Crudup. I kept trying to figure out a joke to turn the last name into Crudite somehow. Crudup. Or Crudup. Like he's a real Crudup. Boy, I'm glad you did. Yeah, just don't have it. Yeah, it would have been a real side slapper. Oh, man. Is that what it is? Or no, knee slapper. But one of those actors that you see. One of the sort of things about being a wordsmith is you have to know words. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

But Billy's one of those actors that's been in like a million things and he'll never not work. And they've all been great and he's never sucked. Never, never sucked. And it's just,

He's the kind of thing, well, like, if you see his name in a cast, you're like, oh, this is a high-quality project. That's exactly right. Yeah. He's so good, and he's so sweet, and he's so handsome, and he's just got it all. He's handsome. Hey, hey, hey. He's really handsome, man. Sorry. I want you to take a shower or something. Sorry. You know what, though? I can't wait to see his new show, Hello Tomorrow, but I wonder what the sequel would be. Oh, here it comes. Oh.

It's hello tomorrow. And then maybe... Bye tomorrow. Don't go up high. Don't go up high. And then don't repeat it three times. Bye tomorrow. Bye tomorrow. Bye tomorrow. Bye tomorrow. Hello tomorrow. Smart. Less. Smart. Less.

SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbico, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarff. SmartLess. If you like SmartLess, you can listen early and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.