"Dana Carvey"
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Hi, I'm Will Arnett from Smartless. I'm 31 years of age. I'm Jason. Hear me out. You know, when you were on the show, were the nerves... Keep to the question. Come on. I mean, were you happy or were you sad? Because we could get on the show. Hey, guys, come on. Let's not fight. I'm Sean. I didn't know where I was. I don't understand what you guys are coming for. Hi, I'm Dana Carvey, and I'm on Smartless. Smart. Smart.

Smart. Smart. Smart. Smart. Sean, what was your meal last night? My meal last night was I had chicken salad sandwich and mac and cheese. Box mac and cheese. You went up at an 11-year-old's birthday party? What happened? Did the camp counselor just bring that over to you or was it set up at a...

No, but you know, Scotty and I, we actually watch the Chargers-Buffalo Bills game. And whenever the Buffalo Bills play, whenever they come on the screen, one of us will always go, Buffalo Bill, I'll help you try to catch them, Carys. Oh, man, that sounds like a fun house. What a fun house. You guys have a lot of fun. Buffalo Bill.

Does the Wonder Truck, the Wonder Bread, they just come to your house, they just fuck the supermarket, they go straight to the house and just... They slow down. They throw the back open. They don't even stop. No, they don't even stop. It's like the ice cream truck. So what is it? So the chicken salad sandwich, did you make the chicken salad? It was made. It was pre-made.

Okay. From where? When you say it was made by what, the heavens? No, I bought it pre-made. Oh, I see, I see. Like a tub of it. Yeah. I didn't know that CVS made chicken salad. Did you spoon it out on your Wonder Bread? CVS chicken salad. CVS.

CVS is like a pharmacy. Yeah. Oh, you think people don't know what CVS is? The mac and cheese. That came from a box. But I also had, what else did I have? When's the last time you put something in your face that didn't have preservatives in it? And let's keep it clean. I don't know. Oh, I had a salad. I had a little tiny Caesar salad with bread crumbs in it. Oh, fucking stop the presses. I mean... CVS has a salad row now? Yeah.

Whose guest is it today? It's my guest. You know what? Let's get to our guest because our guest is way too funny to not be heard from at this point.

Our guest, we often run into this problem. We start listing off their credits and then it's like just, it's too quick. I love how Will always freestyles these intros, you know? Well, because, you know, I just try to keep it organic, man. I just want to be as freestyle and organic as this person is. You have bullet points there that you'd like to hit? I do. Okay. You might remember him from his role in Halloween 2.

Sure. You might remember him from the film Tough Guys. Is this Jack O' Lantern? Do you remember Tough Guys? Jesus. Tough Guys. Hello, Bill. Kirk Douglas. No. Do you remember back in the 80s? Yeah, it was a big film. This.

Sean in that film. He then went on to, he's not religious, but he's been known to maybe keep track of people going when and where they go to church. He's trying to underplay this. He was never elected to office, but you might remember his George Bush. He's got a hilarious podcast with our hilarious friend,

David Spade now. I love Dana Carvey. He's one of the funniest dudes of all time. I've never met him before. He's Mr. Dana Carvey. I love Dana Carvey. So, underneath you, Dana Carvey. Whoa. Let's see. Welcome. He's going to reveal himself. Oh,

There he is. Oh, there he is. Wait, how are you doing, boys? Wait, you're in Bennett's house? Because I demanded it. What is it? Did you guys do a house swap today? Yeah, we did a house swap. I demanded to be upstairs. This is the first time we've ever done this. Dana's joining us from Bennett's place, which is amazing. This is crazy. Oh, you got an incoming. I don't understand. Are you guys having a sleepover? We had a slumber party last night. I've never seen Jason this perplexed, even in Ozarks. I've never seen him. I have, I have. Just...

Dana, just put a book in front of him and you'll see the same look. Hey, Dana. Anyway, here they are. They're the spotless guys. They just woke up. They're a little bit sleepy. Can you believe it? Sean Hayes, Mr. Fun, you know, you got the voice over there, Will on that, and of course, Jason Bateman are the brains of the operation. That's right. You can tell by the glasses. I like that it's almost a Regis. That almost sounded like Rege. Uh,

Old school Regis. It was Regis. You know, one time I remember you said something about when you used to do Regis years ago and you said, I remember this. I don't know why it stuck. You said, he's so uncool, he's cool. Do you remember saying that? Totally. Like 30 years ago. It always stuck with me. I always thought that was such a funny comment. And true. Well, it's Carson in it too. It's earnestness. Yeah. You know, that's charismatic. Regis, my God. I remember when he was on AMLA out here in Los Angeles. This was like, what, late 70s, early 80s?

You know, I used to think it was the thing. So he was the father-in-law of a good friend of ours, Mike Schur. And so I went over one time, Mike and his wife JJ were in New York, so they were staying with the Philbins, and we went over to the apartment. And we went in, and it was like for coffee, and Regis came in, and he said, could I get you a coffee, Will? And I was like, wow, this is real. LAUGHTER

He's this old fashioned show business. He was, he was so positive. So I do it. I get to visit him. We actually interviewed William Shatner and I signed him off as Regis just spontaneously. And he laughed so hard. Who doesn't like Bill Shatner? He's done it all. He's been everywhere. But,

But now I do creep into Trump because that's how I started Trump with Regis. Robert Smigel and I talked about that. It's really Regis. Trump and Regis have a little bit of an overlap, but then you add in this part, we're going to a lot of places, we're doing a lot of things, and they go back and forth, and Regis is here, and Trump is there, but they're definitely overlapped.

So it's just New York stuff, you know. That's hysterical. I want to entertain you guys. I've been listening to your podcast. You need to be entertained. You guys work hard. You are the person to do it. Why me? I love you. You used to do it. I mentioned George Bush. So the first George Bush in...

you kind of deposited a virus into the vernacular of not going to do it, which has become a thing that sometimes almost like dramatically I can't stop saying it. Well, I don't know if that's what you guys have all your kind of inside jokes and catchphrases. And I love Sean's...

Hannibal Lecter, was it? Buffalo Bell. What do you have to ask? Yeah, it's terrible. I did a movie with Anthony Hopkins once, and we would entertain the crew, because he's like Sammy Davis Jr. He was an impressionist who became the world's greatest actor. Wow. And so he would do different, you know, he'd do James Cagney, and I'd do Jimmy Stewart, and then eventually to entertain the crew, he would do Hannibal Lecter, and I would do Garth. You know, I can smell it weighing on you, Garth.

You know, that kind of thing. Get away, big scary man. But as far as extenuating rhythms, I mean, everyone does it. That's what I would do in high school. You know, so George Bush Sr. on the cue card, it would say, N-O-T, not going to do it. Yeah. Like four years before. Yeah. Not going to do it. By year four, it was like, not N-A-G-A-D-A-T. Not gonna that. Not gonna that.

And they went with it. I was as shocked as you guys. I used to do an impression of... It was not... It was you doing George W. Bush, but it was Jimmy... What's his name? You know, not gonna do it. Jimmy Stewart? Jimmy Stewart doing an impression of you doing George Bush with my friend Giles. I used to do it all the time. I go, not gonna do it.

I don't know why. And I used to call it, this is Jimmy Stewart doing Dana doing things. I smuggled a cassette tape recorder in the mid-70s into the Circle Star Theater near San Francisco so I could tape Rich Little's act.

because there was no YouTube. And from taping that and listening, I just took his Jimmy Stewart. And it's somebody that you just sort of want to sneak up on. And the thing I like about Jimmy Stewart is then I get mad. I like the angry Jimmy Stewart. Well, you know what you were doing, didn't you?

"Well, you know, I'm not gonna play this game anymore." And so that became the reason I'm a comedian, because I sucked so bad. But Jimmy Stewart as a waiter never failed in a biker bar. Never failed. It occurs to me that Jimmy Stewart kind of sounds like Mason Adams, the guy who used to do Smockers. When you get Smockers... Oh, my God, that's right. I get so much Smockers. That's right. Are you a secret impressionist? I'm not at all.

I'm not raw, but that's just a fun voice to do. I don't even know who it is, but I'm your guest today. Hey, hey. It's almost Owen Wilson, isn't it? You're right. We could go to Argentina and go surfing if you want. You know, that'd be fun. I told Owen I would never do his impression on TV, but I'm on a podcast. Sorry, Sean, you're next. What did you say? I was just going to say, as I say, Jason and Will actually do like really great accents. And I can't do...

as good of accents as those. So I bet you guys do impressions. I've just never heard you do them. Well, I don't know. I do some accents good. How are you? What's your favorite easiest accent to do? Me? Any of you guys. Jason whips out a British one like nobody can do it.

And also like-- There's so many flavors of British ones. I do love them. Yeah, you can go like-- I found myself talking, I'm not joking, this morning going-- 'Cause I was watching Tottenham Arsenal and the North London Derby and I was going, "Not today, my son. Not today." And I'm like, "There's nobody here but my dog." The kids are up at their mom's house. I was like, "What am I doing?" We've been watching Gary Oldman, we meaning me and my wife.

on slow horses. Oh, yeah, me too. And then by the end of it, I'm like, you're a bunch of lazy losers and you don't know what the fuck you're doing. It's kind of a, it's sort of a, it's a light version of Michael Caine. Yeah. But I want to say before, which is, if you want to do him, you go down to Stash.

You stop bloody up here and then you walk it right down to station. Oh, God. Would Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon do that in the... What was the name of the film that they do where they go to all the restaurants? The Trip. Yeah, The Trip. Yeah, The Trip. And they're sitting at the table. I learned that impression. I rarely try and actively go, I got to do that guy. It was from Steve Coogan's impression. And I actually practiced it. Then I did a prank phone call to J.J. Abrams. Oh, yeah? Really? Yeah.

This is Michael Caine here. I heard you're making one of those spaceship shows, and I'd like to put my hat in the ring. I know I'm a bit long in the tooth, but maybe this old dinosaur's got one lap left around. What's that process like when you want to take on a new impression, you want to see how close you are to something that you would like? Where are you? Are you in the bathroom in front of a mirror, or are you just in the car because you just need to hear it, you don't need to see it?

If I'm alone at home or in a car, or many times I'll be practicing when I'm hiking. Oh, really? Sure. And I'm like, I don't know what you're bloody saying. Then I see a hiker and I have to go, yes, honey, I'm really, I'll be home in a minute. You know, I have to actually cover for my voice. I like the idea that there's somebody in West LA who went for a hike and they didn't see anybody. They're like, I think I heard Michael Caine on the hike today. Or the church lake. I want to say, six degrees of separation. So I was on vacation for,

They told me to send an email to Paul McCartney in case he would go on. And I ended up interviewing Paul McCartney from the Four Seasons in Jackson Hole, Wyoming because I was there with my family. And I listened to you guys talking to Paul because I was looking, where is he on a podcast? So I listened to your podcast to try to get a sense of...

how to navigate that because it's Paul McCartney. And what you found was there couldn't be a nicer, more approachable fella, right? I mean, like... Yeah. I was so blown away by how kind he was. Here is like... You guys have to be Beatles fans in your age group, right? Well, Sean, I'm to the podcast. So...

I didn't think he wanted to talk about the Beatles especially. Right. You know? But then after a while of going around and around, I just brought up Get Back, the documentary. Right. Then he lit up. And then for all of us, the last forensic part of the Beatles is who did what.

Because you know it's kind of like No Reply is John Lennon's song, but did Paul write The Middle Eight, you know? So at one point I took a chance. I said, did John ever thank you for your bass lines?

Right. And that lit him up, you know? Yeah. Well, I was the bass player. You know, normally the bass player is like the fat guy. He's the fat guy. You know, and I was the plunk in the plunk in the plunk in the plunk. And I go, you got a lot better with She's So Heavy and Dear Prunes. Well, I go, I just got up the keyboard. There's never been a more humble genius bassist

in his vernacular ever. We sat for a plunk, me and John, eyeball to eyeball. And we're just plunking, we're plunking. Next thing you know, we had the White Album. Did you do him to him at all too, or no? I did, I did a little bit. But I was so intimidated. You know, you just remind me, I think that the accent that you were asking before, and not to go back, but just thinking of him to him, which was...

which is I used to always go Jackie Stewart. And I used to always, to get into it, I'd say, it's an absolutely brutal day for motor car racing. See, that's great. You do need a line to get into it, right? So this past fall, as these guys know, I've been doing a lot of stuff with Formula One, and I'm in Singapore at the Formula One race.

And this guy goes, "Do you want to meet Jackie Stewart?" I go, "Yeah." And we go up and I meet him and he's walking and he looks fantastic. And I go, "You know, you're using-- saying, 'My name is Jackie Stewart' is a brutal--" I go, "That's how I would get into doing my Scottish accent." And he goes, "Oh, is that right?"

And he kept walking. Gary's like, why are you stopping me? I'm Scottish, but that one kind of, I tilt away from that a lot. I can do Irish pretty good, but probably too grandiose. I got a lot of Irish relatives. Wait, wait, what's the difference between Scottish and Irish if you were to say a tough day for racing? No, I'm just saying, what would be the sound difference between Scottish and Irish? An Irish might say, well, it's a tough day for racing.

Yeah. It's a little more lilty. It's a little more lilty and not as hard on the... Paul has a lot of Irish relatives because of the lilty Liverpool accent, which always sounds like you're asking a question. Did you go to the store? Like Canadians. I did. Good.

Go to the store. Well, did you go? So many Irish moved across to Liverpool, Paul, and even Manchester if you look at the Gallagher brothers from Oasis. And then north of that is a town called Blackpool, which is a good interesting point. It's a seaside town, a resort town, Blackpool. Oh, next to the water, huh? Great. Dublin in Irish means Blackpool. It's the same thing. Huh.

How about that? I thought you guys might want to read some. You don't need to read shit because you've got me as a friend. Thanks for that, Will. I love the Irish. My wife's Irish relative. Her mother's from Dublin. She's 91. And the relatives came over. And they're so humble, as you know. There's just like, you go to a grocery store and it's like bread. Hey, there's like three items. I took them to a supermarket for the first time. My wife's aunt and uncle. And they go, look at all the yogurt. It was just like, they thought it was...

They go, why do you need so many cereals? I didn't have any response to that. It's free market capitalism. I have no idea why we need 900 times the cereal. Wait, so Dana, walk me through. So you do all this. You mentioned that you go in and you recorded Rich Little. What was the thing? How did you go and make— I always like to understand when people go and make the jump from—

being a super fan or somebody who's interested, who has the talent for it, or listening to it, to actually getting paid for what they do. What was that jump for you? Was it doing impressions or was it doing stand-up or was it a combo? Uh, both. Um...

I didn't lean on the impressions. I did them, but I did a lot of other stuff too. But I was so... It really seemed like trying to be Neil Armstrong for someone from my household. Five kids. Dad was a high school teacher. 1,500 square feet. One bathroom. That I would be on television. And so that upended me a little bit. I did a lot of things. It was probably a waste of time. But Hollywood...

started hiring me just as a cute, nice guy. You know, that's what I did. Yeah, I mean, you had roles in movies and you were doing stuff before you got SNL. They didn't care for me to be funny. I was doing stand-up in the side, but they offered me one of the boys with Mickey Rooney. Yes. And so I did it. It was $7,500 a week. I was like pennies from heaven. Was it Meg Ryan in that? Was it Meg Ryan in that? Meg Ryan was in six episodes, played my girlfriend, I believe, Scatman, and of course,

was it megan back then yeah so you caught that okay no but was it it was megan well megzy is by the end it's kind of like anthony hopkins it was it was anthony tony and then it was hoppy by the time he goes megan you go mickey rooney's like michael rooney yeah sure they were all in it mickey's macaroni mickey's mickey's everything mickey was the craziest person i ever met and had a

a .35 revolver in his jacket. Wait, what? A .38. Wait, what? And he would wave it around. What?

They're not going to get me. Yes, he had a loaded gun. He goes, this script is caca. And then he would throw it across. No, you've heard stories about Mickey Rooney, haven't you? No. I mean, not really. You're outing him right now. I'm young. You know who he was, right? Yeah, of course. So if he said this once, he said it a thousand times, literally every day. I was...

Just like this. We did it on SNL, and I was writing it with Bonnie and Terry Turner, and I just said what Mickey said in that incredible laugh. So I didn't write it. I said, I was the number one star in the world. You hear me? Bang. The world. And that's exactly the way he said it a thousand times. Number one star in the world. Bang. You hear me? Bang.

The world. What is that sound supposed to be? I don't know. But he was just, he had a gun, scat man with a stone. He thought I was gay. And I was there with Nathan Lane. So we had to do a Three's Company thing. Oh, there you go. Where he had his arm around Nathan. He looked at me and said, I'm just glad we like girls. What?

Wait, what a fucking cast. So it was you, Nathan Lane, Meg Ryan, and Mickey Rooney? And Scatman Carruthers. And Scatman Carruthers. Who just was stoned. The nicest guy I've ever met. But he was just high all day. And my brother came to visit me, and he gave us some pot, and it was terrible. So the next trip, I brought him a lid of...

Santa Cruz Columbian pot. Sure. Can you believe it? This is like 1981. Classic blend. Next morning in the elevator, he says, the music was good. Might I get a pound? LAUGHTER

So after the show was... Just didn't want to mess around with an ounce. No, and it was called music. It was a little bit illicit. And he had a clear bottle full of vitamins, and he would walk back and forth across the soundstage, chugging them, going, I'm going to 100%.

I'm going to 100. And he would chug the vitamins. But after the show, my brother and I got him a whole bag. We didn't smoke much weed after this. But anyway, a bag of Santa Cruz pot, giant, and brought it to Van Nuys, brought it to his house, and he played the ukulele for us for hours. No way. What's this project called? I got to see this. One of the Boys. One of the Boys. You can look it up online. One of the Boys. The craziest. I wore a sweater. I was the straight man.

Literally. Mickey, we would do impressions together too. He was an impressionist. But he did have a .38 revolver, and he said, before I got this big break, I was going to go to Sacramento to the prison there. There's this serial killer, Juan Corona. I was going to come in as a visitor. I was going to bring my .38, and I was going to say, you know who I am? I'm Mickey Rooney, and I was going to plug him full of holes. Boom.

These are verbatim quotes. That's John Mulaney's favorite thing I've ever told him. These are verbatim quotes from Mickey Rooney, and he's one of those old guys who would talk till he ran out of breath. Incidentally, Judy Garland never... And everything was a non sequitur. Judy Garland never owned a car. They pumped her so full of drugs it killed her. How long has Robert Redford been in the business?

"Ten years? I've been in the business." It's like three weeks before his birth. "I've been in the business 61 years." He's the greatest character I've ever met. By far. Really holding on to his past, yeah. Oh, yeah. He was like, "I called up Warner Brothers in 1955. I said, 'This is Mickey Rooney. I need a job.'"

They hung up on me. And then he would wander off. And he had a new show, a new thing every day. And we will be right back. And now, back to the show. Wait, Dana. Yes. When I was in high school, you know, Mike Myers was on our show, and I said the same thing to him. And I said, when I was in high school...

You know, you were God to me and God to everybody who was into comedy and sketch and just everything. And we would go, I remember going to school on a Monday and everybody in high school would imitate the church lady and every single character you guys ever did in Wayne's World, whatever the characters were.

And do you, I always wondered after your incredible stint on SNL, like I missed you. I missed like seeing those. Like what happened to me? No, no, no. I mean, I've seen you. I saw you pop up in a bunch of stuff. But just as far as being a king of sketch comedy, it's almost like, and I know you had a couple, uh,

other like spinoff kind of sketch comedy shows but do you miss it at all still today because there's really one of the all-time greats thank you um without it i mean that you know i was you got me to vote for ross perot

- This is the first vote I ever cast. - Ross Perot is a gift from heaven. That was my Sarah Palin for Tina Fey. - At Stockdale. - Lorne Michaels said, "There's someone running, "a Texas billionaire, he's running for president, "we have some tape. "Why don't you go down the hall and, you know, "like, see if there's anything there." You know, I turn it on.

The ears are sticking out. Can I finish? James Brown is already there. Can I finish one time? Are you going to talk over me? Can I finish one time? Here's the deal. You can't put a porcupine in a barn, light it on fire, and expect to make licorice. What?

That was the gift. George Bush was work. And then Phil Hartman did Stockdale, right? Oh, yeah. When he tried to ditch him in the woods, you know. Stockdale was, I was driving as Ross and I wanted to ditch him after his debate performance. Where are you going? Who am I? Phil could do anything. God rest his soul.

I remember Phil used to do in that same election cycle, 92, Phil was doing Clinton. Yeah. And he would do the thing and he'd come in and he comes into a McDonald's on a jog and he starts making analogies and stealing people's food to make his analogy. Like, if I take a bite of this and he just... And the whole thing was he just wanted to eat everybody's McDonald's. Yeah.

Phil can do anything. I mean, I swear to God. I mean, you guys, I echo what Sean says. You guys were up there for me, too. You guys were at such heights that I thought I could never get anywhere near that. You guys are so incredible at what you do. I still look up to what you guys do because...

You guys did it in this way. This is way before YouTube and you could have control over it and do all this kind of shit. Like, you guys were doing it live on SNL in a way and stuff that nobody else was doing. There's so much derivative shit that came out of that kind of era. Well, it might be. I mean, you guys have had all these weird things happen. Like, I had auditioned for the show twice, right?

It just didn't get it. Al Franken saw me in San Francisco. I followed Kennison at the Comedy Store at midnight, Sam Kennison. I bombed. I was shocked I got on it. You know, Jim Carrey was auditioning. You know, I'm going, okay, I'm not on this show. Got on it. Then I was told we only had an eight-show pickup for the first time in the history of Saturday Night Live. It wasn't a full 20. Hit the ground running or we're out of here.

Right. And then the church lay was just a fluke. It's something I did in my stand-up, or we'll try it. So the week I did the church lay, the first week I... And I'd never done sketch comedy. I'd only done stand-up. Wow. Incredible. So Neil Young calls. Sure. Of course he does. And I got to go down to... Boy, he leaves long messages, doesn't he, Daniel? Oh, man. Look at one of my first impressions. I actually...

I was at a Neil Young concert once. I go, Dana Carvey backstage. Dana Carvey, come backstage, concert. And so I went back, and Neil was in his bus making pasta. Yeah, this is going to kick in a little while. Could you do a little bit of time? So I had this old bit, hacky bit I used to do of Neil Young doing a commercial for McDonald's. I'm not proud of it. Well, I dreamed I saw the gold.

I do the whole thing. Ten years later, my kids are in junior high, and a dad comes up to me and goes, hey, man, I got this Neil Young bootleg album. You're the first track. Yeah.

- No way. - Anyway, way. But anyway, so Church Lady, I put it in the read through. It did so-so. Neil Young had called the next day. So I had to go down to Madison Square Garden. He was doing a garage band motif. He told Lorne, "I need some kind of angry woman." So I went down there and did it that night on Wednesday when they picked the show. I came back and found out that Church Lady just barely got on, that my buddy Phil Hartman said, "I think we should give it a chance."

So it was the last sketch in the first show thinking this isn't going to fly. Yeah, yeah. And I'd never done it with the dress. So the minute I said Victoria Jackson was going off and geez, that's this and that. And then I just said, well, isn't that special? Boom. Boom. Mic drop. Then all the nerves went away. You know,

And that last slot on SNL, as you know, and you guys know because you've hosted... The death spot. That's where they kind of either bury stuff or try stuff that's kind of new. Yeah, or they don't think it has a chance. Right, yeah. You mean the last sketch of the night? It's kind of freeing, right, Dana? You must have felt kind of like, fuck it. I was so nervous before I went out there because...

I literally played a pizza parlor in Martinez, California in July. I played to four people. Half the audience hated me. These are the jokes. Then this is October 10th. I go out to Lorne's house. I hang out with Paul McCartney and Chevy Chase. I go to Yankees games with Lorne. I lived there for like a month. I go on the show. I'm shy. I'm terrified.

I was swearing at myself in the mirror before the show, you know? You motherfucker. Yeah. Just to get rid of the... So then Church Lady moves up first. I'm in the... I didn't know I was in the cold opening, so I'm in that. I'm doing an alien sketch, and then I do Chopping Broccoli at the end. I mean, one of my all-time favorites, Chopping Broccoli. Why that...

stuck so hard I don't know Sean it's so funny it's so bizarre I don't know that one how do I not know that one Chopping Broccoli I didn't do it that much it's the song is called Chopping Broccoli and he sits at the piano and it's just chords like a ballad like a rock ballad and it's Chopping Broccoli

I used to do George Bush doing Chopping Broccoli, too. Can I hear that? You know, Chopping Broccoli. It's so bad. But the premise of it, Jason, was that he, which Lorne liked, a guy who had to

play his new songs for the record company executives. It was Sigourney Weaver and Phil Hartman. And it was like, well, I don't know if I've got anything. I'll try it. And he says, he's cold as ice, which is like a foreigner thing. And then he's riffing Paradise. He's making it up. And then finally, and she's chopping broccoli.

And that became just chopping broccoli, she chops. So that was just that. Like Jay, whatever the idea was, it would always come back to, he's just chopping broccoli. He's just chopping broccoli. Now I do 10 minute renditions when I do standup. Oh, you do? I do it with a guitar. I do all. I would love to see that. But that was the most nervous I'd ever been was before that show. The first, the impression, because I don't, when you audition for Saturday Night Live, don't you have to have a couple of impressions? Yeah.

And if so, do you still do the ones that you did originally for your first audition? - Yeah, I mean, I probably did Jimmy Stewart. I think I did Chopped Broccoli a little bit. See, well, what happened was I auditioned in different, I didn't want to audition at the Comedy Store or the Improv 'cause I always bombed in those two places.

So Lorne Michaels comes around with the show. They need four new cast members. So I was playing a little club on the west side called Igby's, which is a 100-seater, low-ceiling, hot club, and I played there a lot. Rosie O'Donnell was headlining the week that Lorne Michaels was in town. I didn't know her, but I knew the owner, and I said, ask Rosie if she'll give me a spot on her set, and I'm going to bring Lorne Michaels. So Rosie said yes.

So then there that night, Lorne Michaels is going to see me do stand-up. And I met Rosie, and she seemed like an old soul. She never seemed, she just was like kind of had that Rosie confidence, you know? So I said, maybe I should go on first. So, you know, I call him first. So I'm standing in the wings. Lorne Michaels is coming to see me. I've been at this 10 years. I failed at everything I'd done. I'd been canceled or bombed.

And then Lorne Michaels walks in. Holy shit. After him, Brandon Tartikoff, the head of NBC at the time. Then I'm like, oh God, he brought the head of the network. Then Cher.

Oh, of course. They came in. And so, but I was nervous, but I had 40 minutes instead of five. And I think that's what helped. 40? Yeah, because Rosie cleared the decks. You know, I just did the night with her and then she got a sitcom out of it.

Oh, wow. Really? That's incredible. So just to jump back and forth a little bit, Dana, so you leave SNL, you go and you do a sitcom, as we mentioned. Oh, no, sorry, not sitcom. Not sitcom. Comedy show. I did the Dana Carvey show in 1996 with... With?

Steve Carell. Yeah. Stephen Colbert. Yes. Louis C.K. Yeah. Dino Stepanopoulos. Robert Carlock. Robert Carlock. Unbelievable. John Glazer. John Glazer. My good friend John Glazer. Oh, yeah. Louis C.K. was my head writer. I gave him the first job. Louis C.K. was your head writer. Steve Carell was a writer, as we mentioned. Performer. Yeah. Performer. And... Carell.

I mean... I call him the two Steves. Smigel, of course Smigel. Smigel, yeah, was my co... Was your co-creator, right? Yeah. So, I mean, this is an uncanny...

an unbelievable all-star team. Yeah. And just, of course, because showbiz is bats a thousand, they cancel it. Well, there's a story behind that. First of all... Well, let's hear it. I had two weeks to think about it because I miss sketch comedy and Smoggle and I had a great connection on there. You know, we did Carson and...

A lot of different, the McLaughlin group things together, so. Oh, God, I love that. Issue one. Jason, Jason, Jason, the Organauts. Sean Connery. No, that was just rhythmically riding a thing. Smigo, we just connected rhythmically. So I decided I want to do it on HBO.

I go, you could do 10. You could still have a life, you know. So then I think Bob Iger was in the room. I don't want to blame him. I like Bob. But they go, come on, do it at ABC. My manager wanted to do it at ABC. We could do it at ABC. It would be great. You know, the great Brad Gray.

So then, and then Louie and Robert at that point kind of wanted the budget and the money of ABC. And the idea was, oh, you have a Disney face. You're kind of like Carol Burnett. You can work in prime time. Okay, terrific. Let's do it. And then they gave me an extra million, you know. Okay, people like numbers. That'll do it. I never cared about the money that much, but like you guys. But my point is...

No, but the first show, we were banking shows in New York. We moved to New York because my wife and I didn't want to raise our kids in the Valley, which probably would have been fine. So then we bank a sketch that Louie wrote, which was Bill Clinton. I didn't have a good Bill Clinton, but it's like...

He's giving his speech to the nation and we can do better and all that. And then he opens his shirt and he's got teats like a dog and he's going to breastfeed puppies. So actual live puppies and I will feed the nation. So I got the chart of the, we were at 16 million when Bill appeared and,

And it goes like a bomb. We were like at two million just hanging in. Viewers, you mean. Once you expose a row of teats. Yeah, the teats. And then we were just, the critics lambasted us. And so we made it through eight shows. And then it became a cult classic. So had you been on something that wasn't a mass audience broadcast platform?

platform, perhaps it would have been a little bit more embraced. Did you find that you were more of a populist audience than... Yeah, there was no Netflix. There was no anything. There was just maybe, I guess, Comedy Central or HBO. Yeah, I remember that coming out. I remember the Dana Carvey show. And I was like, in my head, I was like, oh, finally, somebody...

Gave the guy a shot. Like, it just seemed like natural that you would have that shot. It hasn't worked. You know, Martin Short tried. I mean, people have tried in primetime. It's tough, isn't it? Yeah. It's got to be the right platform. Didn't Marty do it with...

Well, he did one recently with Maya Rudolph. With Maya, yeah, he did one with Maya, yeah. But there was some brilliant stuff in that, some great stuff. You met the A-team of writers we had. And so Josh Greenbaum did a documentary that came out a couple of years ago. Yeah, I heard about that. Yeah, Too Funny to Fail. Yeah. Isn't there so much content? I'm just going to go out on a limb and say it. We've reached peak content. Yeah.

People talk about content creators. I don't know if I brought it up. It kind of makes me mad because I feel like content is what I put between the walls of my house to insulate from the cold or the heat. That's content. If you call what you do content, you're just making filler? Like, okay, thanks. Hey, man, I don't make content. Something to stuff the pipe with. Right. But I'm also not making art. It should be noted. No, yeah.

It's also the audience is the entertainer now. It was like you'd have Frank Sinatra on stage or whatever, and the audience would be out there. Now the audience is entertainers as well with social media and Instagram. Yeah, everybody's famous. We're all entertaining now. Warhol said we'd all be famous for 15 minutes. Right, yeah. Now it's like we'll all be stars. Well, speaking of which, I mean, your longevity and relevance has been so sustained for so long. Yeah.

Do you, I mean, you can't attribute all that to luck and talent, right? I mean, is there a third magic component that you're working with? Because, you know, I'm with Sean. I prefer a weekly dose of you, but you are...

You are around and fantastic still. And, I mean, what's your secret? I don't know. I'm a little bit like you, Jason, I think, from what I've heard. I really kind of am a homebody a little bit. You know, I've got my keyboards and my guitar, my lovely wife, and all the cool shows I can watch. Right. So, you know, I never – I just do the –

I mean, what do you guys say to yourself? It's cognitive behavioral therapy, right? No one's thinking of you. Never feel sorry for yourself. When I had those few things, bomb and the botch bypass, that's a whole other story in the 90s. Yeah, in your heart. Yeah, I remember that. That thing. So then I had to come out on Letterman and I was feeling really small. Wait, I want to hear about that.

Like really-- You had like an operation on the wrong-- I remember you talking about this on the wrong artery or something, right? Well, yeah, as quick as I can. Yeah, I had familial hypokalestromia, I didn't know it. My cholesterol was 400, my LDL was 300. Oh my God. And I didn't know it. So at 42, I started having symptoms. They found out I had a blocked LAD, but I never had a heart attack, big distinction because I was so fit at the time. And so then I had someone--

throw in some stents. And I didn't know that sometimes your body doesn't know how to react to a little metal sheath in the artery, surprise. So it'll scar tissue up.

therefore blocking you again. So I had like six of those. They had to keep rotor-rootering and putting new stents in. It was all in this one area of the LAD. Usually people get squeamish and leave the room at this point. I'm used to it. First diagonal. This is a crossover episode of Hypochondriactor, right? Yeah. I love medical stuff. We'll do a public service after this where I say this thing is arrested now, in essence, if you follow the protocol. Heart disease...

You should never be surprised when you're having a heart attack. There's so many things they do. But anyway, so then they said, well, we'll do a simple bypass. You keep restenosing. These were these old-fashioned stents.

So they swung over my mammary arteries, which never block up. Right. But the surgeon I picked in Northern California was considered the greatest in the world. I had a private jet in the air to take me to Cedars-Sinai, but I was convinced by well-meaning people to go with this surgeon. He ended up, instead of attaching a hose to a big trunk of a tree, he attached it to a healthy diagonal off the other side.

So the blockage was still there. So when they found it, I was like, holy shit, because by that point, I'd had so many angioplasties, I was kind of awake. So they rotor-rooted it, and he goes, you want me to push it a little harder? And I go, yeah, let's go for it. So now it's never blocked up again.

And no one knows why except my Hindu cardiologist, PK Shah, director of cardiology at Cedars-Sinai, said a prayer for me at Mother Teresa's tomb. And my 91-year-old mother-in-law, she was probably 60 then, said a prayer for me at a wishing well outside of Dublin. I'm just putting it out there. Sure. And so that happened. And then I won on the protocol. My cholesterol now, my LDL, which is the real dangerous one, is 45. Wow.

And it was 300. Amazing. So here I am. No changes to your diet at all? Or did you take a statin? Complete shift on the diet. I know you guys teach Sean about his diet. I was like that in my 30s. You know, I'd have a big giant turkey sandwich with mayonnaise or macaroni and cheese. I was eating kind of like a kid from the 60s or 70s. So anyway, I did change the diet and I...

Just pay more attention to everything and stress. Are you vegan now or anything like that? No. Mediterranean diet has the best results. So I do a lot of salmon. What part of the Mediterranean? Mediterranean diet. I love the Mediterranean. Are you talking about the ganoosh? The Greek islands maybe? I mean the salmon, you know, all of it.

Croatia is the place to go. Do you have to watch your heart rate? Like, can you exercise vigorously and all that stuff? Yeah, because I never had any heart damage or a heart attack, which is usually people kind of glaze over at this point as well.

Like, I don't, I really, really have a high V2O max for my age. I mean, I hike up mountains. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have any governor on that. Oh, so you're like bionic now. Yeah. Great. We'd love to go for a hike for you guys because you go, damn, you weren't lying. You know what I saw yesterday? Kevin Nealon's got a hiking show. Yeah. He does a little chat. For a while. I was on that. For a while. Yeah. Pay attention. Yeah.

I was on that show with him, yeah, and I just kept accelerating just a little bit on the hill, just more and more. So let me understand this. Kevin was another one of my partners in crime on SNL. Hans and Franz. Hans and Franz. You guys were hilarious. I love that maybe more than anything else as far as what makes me laugh. Two wounded men.

idiots who are paranoid and delusional and keep challenging an invisible audience. Yeah, and if you think we're not properly pumped, I could take your flab and stretch it into the shape of a roll platter so you could crawl down back in the sewer because that's where Louis lives. Because I became very fey with that character and Ligarius, which made it more fun for me. It's really funny. It's so great.

And now, a word from our sponsor. All right, back to the show. Now, you know, I want to ask about you being a dad because I'm always blown... Like, I have a bunch of... Your friends are your friends because they make you laugh, right? Jason and Will make me laugh so hard. Another friend of mine, Carrie, makes me laugh. Oh, you guys have a great thing going on. Oh, thanks, but...

And I'm always kind of amazed, like being around Jason in front of his kids or Will in front of his kids, sometimes their kids will laugh at something they say and most of the time they'll kind of like roll their eyes. And from the outside, I'm like, no way, your dad is fucking hysterical. Like I can't imagine being one of your kids

Like, I'm always blown away when kids don't find their famous funny parents funny. They're just so tired of the material. I'm just, you know, aren't you guys, you're most of the time just regular, right? Most of the time. Yeah. And then if you get around someone who makes you laugh, like me, David Spade, it's hysterical. Then that ping pong effect starts to happen. Right. But, you know, I'm mostly just regular and they try to make me laugh, you know? Oh, really? Yeah.

I love watching my kids' sense of humor develop. Oh, yeah. It's really interesting to see a human being discover sarcasm and irony. Obviously, it's after they learn the language, and then they learn how to twist and bend stuff and not break it. Maple's got it down. His daughter, Maple. I'm in love with both of his daughters, but Maple said to me the other day when we were out together,

all of us, we were saying goodbye and she didn't even get up off the couch to say goodbye. She turns to me and she goes...

"I love you, sweetheart. You have a great evening." I mean, and she's like, you know... -11. -And it was so sarcastic, 'cause we were all saying, "I love you. Goodbye." They make such leaps all of a sudden, and I hope you guys wrote them down. I wish I had. But one night, I was putting my son to bed, and he's like, "Four." And I said, "Tom, do you know that I love you?" And he goes, "It's pretty obvious." "He's four!"

How did you start doing the podcast with Spade? I love the combo of you and Spade. Yeah, yeah. Because you're both fucking naturally hilarious dudes. Well, Spade is, seeing him up close, and it's so lo-fi, but he'll create a little mini movie in like 30 seconds.

So it's like, hey, I saw you there as a boozy Susie. And he's like, I'm like, you know, hey, you know, and I don't know what I was doing. I got, it wasn't, it's just so fun to watch and riff around with him. And I met him before SNL, just at this house in Beachwood Canyon. So I met him, he's like 21. What's up, dude? Hey, buddy. And everyone always immediately likes David.

And I did. And then I interacted with, he came to SNL. We were there as bandmates for three, four years. And then, you know, I was up north raising my kids. But every time we see each other, it's like you guys, we need one second. So when I moved back down here, uh,

And I live at a place that's walkable to Koi. I started having dinner with David a lot. And that's where we would go. And one time we went to some other restaurant. Let's just go over there. Because I like to have a conversation. I don't like to. It's like when I met you, Jason. It's like, oh, Jason Bateman. This is cool. And then we were at the Laker game. And we're up in the Tessaranda's box. And it's literally, okay, what? Well, how are you? Yeah, I'm fine.

Fine. What are you doing? You know, so coy is like you can talk. But David and I did that. I did a little off-the-radar podcast. This is tried out called Fantastic. It's online where I had a female sidekick and I had relatives on it, like my sister and stuff. And then I would riff and do long form, like Obama was a running part of the podcast. Dana, can I come on today? No, my sister's coming on.

Michelle, I'm not coming on. Says the sister's coming on. No, leave the egg salad out. So I could just riff stuff like that, long form. And then I had David on as a guest. Our manager heard it. Our mutual manager, Mark Gervitz.

And said, you guys got to do a podcast. You got to do a podcast. You know, that kind of thing. So then we decided to try it. I will try it. And I'm still not used to this idea. It was kind of fun. And I consciously, because I listened to your podcast and I was listening to, I thought it'd be fun to try to do voices and entertain you guys a little bit today. You have. But I, this idea of me is like either I kill or I'm fired, you know, or I'm dismissed.

for most of my career. Like I've got to destroy it, stand up. And I've got to kill. It's a lot of pressure. And now being authentic and real, funny if it comes up, and just be yourself. Like I take the headphone, I go, so that was good? It's like, yeah, okay.

It's a brand new art form. I mean, everyone would have had these. All those sketch actors that, you know, Shecky Green would have had a podcast or Sid Caesar. So it's an incredible new art form. Well, but you've just got such a way about you where, I mean...

you're so easy to be with and enjoy being around, whether it's in person or watching you on TV or just hearing your voice. I mean, don't discount that. I know it doesn't feel like you're doing anything, but you're so naturally appealing. This goes back to what Jason was saying, what's the missing ingredient? I really think you're so naturally funny. You have no choice in the matter. There are certain people who have no choice. You and Farrell and Spade and whomever. The list is long, but

But you have no choice in it. And that's the reason that you have the longevity. I think, Jason, to answer your question is just... He's a good dude. A good dude, but naturally funny, naturally talented. And I think the podcast reveals that to a wider audience of like...

you know, you can just kind of do it and you can do it in conversation. And it's not easy to do. It's a lot harder than people think. And there are a lot of people who are funny or present funny or present really good, but that's somebody else doing a lot of work for them and then they present. To actually be that yourself is tough consistently. It's been very interesting.

I'm sure it is for you three, this art of conversation, what Johnny Carson could do or anybody we admired interviewing in this sort of lo-fi form where it's a conversation as opposed to a straight interview. Yeah, we're bad interviewers. And wanting it to have energy, needing to overlap like you would at dinner. Spade and I teased you. I said I was practicing overlapping you during Christmas break.

My wife would talk and then I would interrupt her just to stay in shape. But I listened to the podcast. Would you have your wife ask really long questions just so you could get ready for Jason? Yeah, yeah. Because sometimes you don't know if you're giving your partner an assist, that they literally have started an opus and then you can tell the steam is out of the... I'm not sure they know are going to land this. So you can interrupt them or not. I'd like to give you half the answer I'd like to hear from you.

Then turn you loose. All right. Wait, Dana, are you, other than the great podcast with you and Dave? You've got another podcast. Another, yeah. Like an album, basically. It's called The Weird Place. I did it with my sons. Really? Oh, that's great. They're very sensitive about the whole nepo movement. So they're thinking of changing their last name, nepotism. Yeah.

It's so, I mean, it's a new concept. I mean, what the fuck are we talking about? Hey, I'm a plumber.

Joey, my son's a plumber. He plums too. Kaboosh. What's rubber chicken? What do you got? Yeah, it's what you do after your foot is in the door. Like, you know, I mean, if you can stay in there, that's like then you got something. But no one should apologize for having the door ajar. Now they're going to start saying, well, you know what? You're too funny for comedy. It's unfair. All the funny people are taking over comedy, and that's not fair. You're not leaving any room for the unfunny people. Yeah.

You're not leaving room for the funny people to be in comedy. The AI can write songs. It could write a screenplay. Can the AI be funny? We actually, for the workplace... I asked that yesterday. By the way, it can. I was actually literally this morning just screwing around with chat GPT. Yeah, that's like incredible. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. That's the next crazy thing. Yeah, but is it funny?

Yeah, it actually is. I said, write a thank you note for my friend's party last night. And they wrote it out and said, now make it a little bit funny and make it about movies. And it was making these jokes about, well, the food should probably only deserve a nomination, but certainly not a win. And it was just like in a second. It's amazing. Make fun of a president. George Bush Sr., what if it came out? Nah,

got to do it, would get an appropriate laugh because he was kind of a robot too. You got to sue. Dana, you need to sue AI. Yeah, no, it sends you a loyalty check. And you're going to ask, but in a weird twist, you're going to say, AI, write up a lawsuit against yourself. Well, the weird place is like a very loose...

take off on the Twilight Zone, where it's anthology, Twilight Zone. We had one we didn't record where it was the J-1000, so it was a robot, an AI robot of Jay Leno. And he's like, yeah, okay, let's go out there and do a set. And his handler, his computer guy, goes, kill him tonight. So he actually ends up killing the audience. Yeah. He actually stands trial. Yeah, you know, I'm a...

He said to kill him, so I did. My compassion chip was defunct. I got to get changed out. I didn't have any empathy, so I just took them all out. That's a programming error. Yeah, it was a whole futuristic thing, but that's where we're all going.

That is hysterical. You never answered the first... We'll end with this because you never answered the first question, which was why are you and Bennett, one of our producers, houses? Why are you sitting in his house? Give these guys... I think I know why.

Can I just say the first part is we tried to have you on the show a while ago and we had a technical difficulty. Dana was the guest that we had who at the last minute we had to bail. But you do a podcast. This was, I'd gotten a new laptop and I have a technical thing I do with Fly or we call it the wall. Do you guys ever call it smart? Yeah, we got a smart coming up. But anyway, so we went through the torturous thing and the patience of the guy. During the whole pandemic, okay, let's...

Do you see a red dot on the left? It should be blinking. Okay, what do you see? I see a blank screen. All right, let's refresh out of that. Do you see... Let's go to settings. Do you see the wheel for settings? It's been the biggest part of our lives. And so they did that with me for 45 minutes and I told them it was like a movie. It was like, ha, ha, ha, we'll get him on. And then it was like,

okay, let's, it's like Apollo 13. Let's see what's going on here. We're going to get it. Don't worry. Press that. Do this. I did it around and around and around. The robot said, no, can't do it. And then there was despair and sadness and nervousness toward the end. That's why I said, I'll come over. I live near here. I said, I'll just come to his house. No way. I mean, you came over to Bennett's house to do this. You are such a love. It was very close by. I could have practically walked. Wow.

But you didn't. We'll be right back. Anyway, so I should say, you guys have been so nice to me. That's what Paul said. Thanks for all the compliments, which I think he said to you guys. Because you can't help but gush a little bit with Paul McCartney. Well, that's how we feel about you, man. Honestly, Dana, you have been such a hilarious dude for so long. I've been such a

massive fan and admirer. I never knew this. I would have felt so good all these years. I feel like I've bitten off your shit so many times. I feel like I've made people laugh because of you. Yeah. And I just, honestly, it's such an honor to... You guys are, you're a universe. You're a, you know, the Smartless Guys has become a meme. Mm.

What do the smartless guys do? Where are the smartless guys going? Yeah, with you and Spade. By the way, I texted Spade the other day about something, and he didn't text me back. He just sent me a voice note back. I'm like, motherfucker, take the time to write it out. That's all he does is the walkie-talkie thing. Hey, buddy. I was like... Because you can't type that, you know?

Spades the Great. I'm having fun doing it, but this has been a blast. I know it's hard. I know what it is to wrap it up and like, do we go longer? I know where you guys are at right now. No. We have to go along with people that aren't any good. This might be a two-parter. I'll finish with Dennis Miller. Christ sakes. Okay. What are these cats? What are they doing? Talking into a microphone. It's called Smart Less. Okay. That's an apt title from what I've heard over here.

All right, you got the guy in the middle with the fluffy hair so thick it looks like a hairpiece. The perennial 10-year-old on the right side of my screen. Baseball caps for everybody, okay? Anybody wear a suit?

Okay. Dennis is... Dana, just before we let you go, did you not used to do Dennis to him on Update? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's my record. You used to go on and do him to him. I'd go up and have the wig and do it with him. I love his rhythm. I can't... It's the best. Give me a topic and I'll do Dennis talking about it. Any topic. Podcasts, and there's too many of them. Podcasts, okay. What are we up to? 109 million now? Okay. Okay.

Every kid in the basement with a microphone and a cheap laptop can just start yapping out there, looking at those counts. What's he got? 29 people listening to this pablum? All right. Okay. What happened to Edward R. Murrow? One guy with talent with a mic. Now you got...

Six million people without a clue, okay? Haven't seen this much dysfunction since the dysfunctional convention in Utah, all right? It doesn't even have to make sense. It's so good. It's so good. You're great. You're great, Lutz. That's crazy that you can do that. God, thank you so much for coming on and entertaining us. You're such a...

Conceitually hilarious. All right. Okay, I'll say this because it'll never happen. We'll all have dinner at Koi with Spade and we'll blow people's minds. Let's do it. I'm there as much as Spade is. I'll just leave you with this. I use George Bush Sr. for anxiety. I make lists with him and this is not a joke. Coming over here, went to the producer's house. Producer, Bennett, Will,

Well, Sean over there, Jason, talent, full modicum, every area, game shows, movies, television, sitcoms, American treasures coming at you, talking over, not a subject, long rambles, number one.

Oh, so good. That is unbelievable. Calms me. Calms me down. Calm now. All right. I love you, Dana Carvey. I love you, Dana Carvey. I love you, Dana Carvey. Bye, Dana. Bye.

Well, that could be all time. All time. Could be all time. Yeah. What a hilarious dude. I mean... Yeah. And just like this, like this, like this. Like, what's the subject? Give me a thing. Give me a suggestion. Like, in a constant...

you know, unbelievable talent. And like, and again, you can't fake that. He's back. He keeps leaving the room and coming back in. He keeps leaving the room. You can't, you can't, you know, it's what we were talking about. You can't fake it, right? It's genuine and it's just pure energy. I don't think, I wasn't that energetic when I was 12. I was going to ask him that. He's got like these sketch comedy people like Marty Short or him or whoever it is.

They have so much energy all the time. Yeah, they have big, great engines. Like, they just all, they can run. But you know what I thought was interesting about him was the, I was going to ask about this, is that when he did all those roles as a kid, you know, when he was younger, and he was an actor first. Yeah. And then he was in sketch comedy. And I bet you that's why he was such a star in sketch comedy. He'd never done sketch comedy before. Yeah. Yeah.

I know, but he was an actor. He's one of the all-time great sketch comics. Yeah, incredible. I love him. And I love that idea of like, yeah, you want to bring up all this stuff. And he was talking about like with McCartney, like, can I bring up the Beatles and can I bring up the songs? I know. I wanted to bring up Church Lady. And with a guy like him, you're like, I want to bring up Church Lady and I want to talk about all the great things. It'd be like talking to Sean and not bringing up Candy Crush. You know what I mean? The things you're good at. Right. Exactly. That you're known for. That you're known for. Yeah, yeah.

You're going to bring out Skittles and Candy Crush. I have to believe that a show like the Dana Carvey show would work today because there are stations that would, you know, you throw it on HBO today or Netflix today and, you know, I...

Why not? Or on broadcast. You'd think that broadcast would want something like that. No, but they have, as you said, they've tried that variety show thing. Maya had her own, right? I think it was the latest one. With Marty. With Marty, yeah. Over at NBC. It's just, I don't know why they don't take, why SNL is the only one that has sustained is...

is a tribute to Lorne, certainly, but I could do with a couple of more. I can't believe he has all this energy at his age after having gone through, which you don't know about, Jason. You didn't remember that he had, what kind of surgery on his heart? What kind of surgery was that? He had a... It was a... Bypass! Wow, Sean. Bypass! That was good. That was good. Smart. Smart.

SmartLess. SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbico, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarff. SmartLess.

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