"John Krasinski"
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Hey, guys. I'm coming at you a little early, and I...

Excuse me. I'm super excited for you to hear the show. So let's rock and roll. It's Smart Less. I did sweat, then I showered.

You sweat and then you're showered. So your hair is a mix of sweat and wet. No, no. I showered all the sweat out. You have just shampooed hair that you're enjoying. Can I now tell well my neck story or no? I want to get into your neck story, but hang on a second, Jason. Did you... God, so many questions. Did you... Do you shampoo every day?

I don't. Actually, I just lied to you. I did not shampoo today. Wow. Yeah, that's all sweat. I will not shampoo but once a week because, you know, as most people,

smart, well-groomed listeners will attest to, you will get fluffy flyaway hair if you shampoo every day. You got to keep a little... You think most of our listeners will agree with you? No, no, most of them will get it. But then the opposite is oily, gross. Right, and that gives you a handsome clumping, okay? It's the name of my new autobiography. New autobiography. Sean, do you... Handsome clumping.

Not to be confused with handsome humping, Sean's three-part. Yeah, three-part series. Only three parts. Did you, Sean, did you, how often do you shampoo? I shampoo every other day. Really? Every other day. Do you condition too? Oh, wait, I can answer that. Never, ever. Oh. Never. How come you don't use any hair product?

Me? Yes, you. Fly away, uncontrollable, 1983 feathered puff. Match my personality. Just fly away. Why don't you put like a little bit of even moose? Even moose would work. The old moose. No, when I see you guys on Sunday, a lot of times I'll throw some...

Some product be stuff in there. I don't I don't see it. You need more Why don't you try Jen stuff that Jason did the commercial for I did Lola V you're talking about? That commercial we had all that food stuff in your mouth that you did Amanda shot It was not intended to be commercial unlike Sean's Sean tried to come over the top with his and he succeeded and

Have you enjoyed that yet, Will? No. Did he do one for her too? Did you not see Sean's shower masterpiece? No. Oh, for Jen's products? Yeah. And Scotty shot it and cut it together. In two seconds. It's probably online somewhere. No. Right now. Sean, don't pull it up. Please don't pull it up. Why not? We probably have a respectable guest that is doubting or questioning their decision at this point. Why don't you just air it on the TV behind you? You know, so that, because you've already seen it. Where is it?

Who knows? You know, I mean, I guess we'll find it one day. Sean. Shoot, I'm looking for it. Obviously. All right. Sean, what have you done with your break? Listener, we did an earlier record and now we're doing a later record and it's been a lunch window here in Los Angeles. No, don't tell, we'll tell you what you ate. I ate three donuts. Did you really? And a glass of milk. And that's what I had for lunch. I didn't eat anything else. Specialty donuts or just whatever the fuck happens to be on the plate? Yum-yums from Yum-yums.

-Hello? -Don't-- -Hello? -Don't say-- Don't say "from Yum Yum's" as if we're supposed to know that. -Yeah, from Yum Yum's-- -You're talking about the spot up the street on the corner of Vine and Melrose where dudes score dime bags? -How do you know that? How do you know that? -Wow. I went in my pajamas. I was still in my pajamas and slippers. I walked right in there. Sean, why do you eat donuts? -Especially for lunch. -For lunch. So good. So good. I was really hungry 'cause I didn't have a big breakfast. And so I was like, you know when you crave carbs-- But you did have breakfast.

I had like a cup of tea and like a muffin. Okay, so just keeping score today. So you had a muffin and three donuts. Does your colon ever jump up through your esophagus, out your mouth, and just square up, look you in the eye, and say, what is your fucking problem? What are you doing to me? No, it climbs up, comes out of my mouth, looks me in the eye, and says, thank you. Do you just roll into a chin-chin now, and you go down, you go down table level with your mouth at the end of the table, and they just shovel food into it?

You must be busy this time of year with all the Santa work you're doing, right? How many callbacks did you have for the Grove this year? By the way, we can say, because it's on the air obviously already, that, you know, the Sean playing Santa in the Murderville holiday special was tremendous. Oh, that's right. You did go short for that. Sean was so happy because he was like, I don't have to memorize any lines. I can just sit there. It's just dead.

It was really funny, actually. I am hearing some folks are enjoying that trailer, that teaser, Will. Well, we got a new trailer. Well, this show's, you know... It's already out. As you know, it's already out. Yes, now with the airing of this podcast. But I tell you what, it's going to be timeless, just like...

Just like our guest today. Yeah, speaking of your guest, I have something caught in my teeth and I have floss with me and I'm wondering if this is a guest that I have to work with. So go ahead and floss. Go ahead and floss. Can I floss during the intro? Because when you see that, because they're going to give you shit for it. They will? Go ahead, Sean. Yeah, go ahead, Sean. Whatever you say. I have to tell you my...

You've been talking about the neck story across two episodes. It better be good. Go. Okay, Sean, go quickly to the neck. Let's go. And I'm going to floss during it. No, no, it's too long. I'll tell it. Well, maybe our guest wants to hear it, you know. Okay. Because this person likes stories. They like telling stories. Okay. Ew, Jason. I'm going to let you listen to the floss. No, but the camera's on your crotch. I love that we're not watching and that we're just listening. God, this is like a nightmare. This is just what I do when I floss. Can't wait.

That is so disgusting. Our guest is somebody... Gyrating. What an intro. Our guest is somebody who is not your run-of-the-mill. This is somebody who does a lot of different things. Somebody that we all know, some of us better than others, we've been friends with for a long time. This person is...

gets to do all sorts of different stuff. They're not just stuck in an office. Although there was a time when he was stuck in an office for many years on TV. I can't say too much because you know who it's got to be because it's Krasinski. It's time to dance!

Yes! Yay. Yes! Oh, finally. And you're in the bedroom. You're in your own bedroom. This is my own. Oh, sorry about that. Yeah, I mean, check the frame. John, what? Let's get into it here. Who's

- What fault is this? - By the way, when we had-- - I'm just happy to be here before the bicentennial. You know what I mean? Just before the 200th guest. - It's outrageous that Emily was here before you, Will. - Well, they were supposed to be back-to-back days and it got moved a few times because of schedule of everybody, a bunch of you, 'cause John one time and you and blah, blah, blah, blah. So it was supposed to be, so literally when Emily was on and we were like, "We gotta get John on." And I'm just like, "Oh, just keep it straight." 'Cause he was supposed to be on

the next day. Oh, what happened? Well, I was holding the boom for her, so I heard the whole thing. So he was there the entire time. Were you really there when we were interviewing him? Yeah, I was just... And he had a bounce card, too. He Hollywooded a bounce card. Wow. He was just Hollywooding. Boom's in. Boom's in. Hollywood myself. John. Hollywood. All right. Listener, I apologize up top, listener. For you, you're going to have to listen to us just do a bunch of catching up now. It's going to be a lot of memory lane. Yeah.

All right. So you are talking to us from a beautifully appointed room. Children's room. Beautifully wallpapered, listener, I'll have you know. Is that a children's room or is it a guest room? It's a child's room. Which child? I don't know. I was taking a walk and just ducked into the first house I could find. Wow. And they were all set up for the podcast. Good for them that they had the microphone and everything. Yeah.

Now, John, how many kids now? Six? Two kids. Seven. Still the two? Oh, sorry. I mean in total, not just with Emily. Oh, sorry. I thought you meant just with Emily. Six. Yeah, it's six. Good for you. Wait, Johnny, so tell us, how old are the girls now?

Eight and six. Eight and six. God. How are you, by the way? I'm great, Sean. How you doing? I'm good. It's good to see you. It's so nice to see you. Jason, when you hear him talk about his two daughters, eight and six, are you like, do you look back fondly on not remembering your daughters when they were that age? Do I have daughters? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. I think I met your daughters when they were around eight and six.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're now 16 and 11. No, they were older. They were older. I mean, younger. They were younger. Yeah, they were. Yeah, yeah. For sure. For sure. For sure. So you're back east. You live east. Yeah.

No, right now I am down under. I'm talking to you from the future. I'm in Australia because Emily's shooting in Australia. Oh, sure. Fall guy. Yeah, fall guy. So if you guys want to know how yesterday went, it went great. Really? How were the hot costs yesterday? Did they go over, under, what the?

That guy, Leach, right? That guy knows how to direct a movie. Man, Bullet Train. He sure does, right? I love Dave Leach. I love Dave Leach. He's a great guy. I love Bullet Train. That was real fun. Real good. Wait, are you there involved in the same movie or just support? No, I keep going every day, but they keep saying no, not today. Thanks anyway, though. Yeah. Thank you. You just keep getting in background line for wardrobe? Yeah, just like on the waterfront style, just at the gate, you know, just waiting. Yeah.

But did you, you just finished a movie though, right? Did you just finish? I did. I just wrapped this movie that I wrote and directed called If.

with Ryan Reynolds and an unbelievable actress named Kaylee Fleming, who is really the lead of the movie. She's incredible. Wow. That's amazing. No more incredible actress than Ryan Reynolds, though. He's good times. He was speaking highly of all you guys. I love him. I've listened to every single one of your shows. No, that's not true. I have. No. Every single one. You know why? Because it feels like we're all hanging out again. That's what it feels like. Yeah, so I was texting with John last night, and

my last night, his two weeks ago, two weeks in the future, I don't know. Fortnite. I forget how it works, but he, yeah, it was at least a Fortnite in the future. And he says to me, mate, he says, I'm really excited to do the, yeah, because he really gets right in there.

He says, I'm looking forward to it because it's going to feel like hanging out again. And I was like, oh, yeah, it's been a fucking minute since we... Well, you're on fire. I've been busy crushing it as a director. I know. Congratulations on that, Johnny. Thank you so much, guys. You and I have had some conversations since. I've been absolutely stunned by all your stuff. Thank you. Ozark was so great. Thank you. Tell us, what is If? Is If in the same genre as...

It's "Quiet Place." It's not. I took a whole left turn there. Is it comedic? It's not. I mean, it is. It is comedic. It's basically my movie that I wrote for my kids. So it's about imaginary friends and the power of-- Ooh, I love that. These adorable things aren't just adorable, they're time capsules for all our hopes, dreams, and ambitions. Oh, I like that. What if we could tap back into that? Ooh, I love that. What if we could tap back into it? I smell tears.

There's probably a nice moment in there. Ryan can get you to cry, so can you. Oh, boy, Ryan can do it real well. Well, one of the things I love about Kraz, and I always have, is that he's an emotional guy, wears his heart on his sleeve. I don't know if I know anybody who is so open about it. And it's a real superpower.

Yeah, he's got his Kleenex ready. Kleenex handy. And he has like, I can't tell you how many times over the years Kraz has grabbed my arm or my shoulder and been like, can you fucking believe me?

This dinner we had, or whatever it is, and then he'll be welling up. That makes me sound like a psychopath. No, it's not at all. I love it because you get so passionate about stuff, and it goes to everything. You're passionate about the people you love. You're passionate about your wife, your kids, your work, all of it. You don't do anything. There are zero half measures. I don't think I've ever seen you do anything in a half measure, including playing a video game.

Oh my God, do you remember that? Do you guys not play Call of Duty anymore with your headsets? Before we got into Call of Duty, we headed over to Twitter or HMV or something.

and bought three systems, three cheap TVs, and set them up in the same room, like Minority Report. Me and Kraz and Thoreau, and we did like a hotel. At the hotel, we did a three-day weekend in LA playing these video games. You went on a bender. Usually there's crystal meth involved in something like that. You remember, it was so weird that at one point, you remember Janine was standing there, Garofalo, and she came over and she was making bead, like she was making bracelets, and

And she was there and we weren't even talking. She's like, eventually she's like, well, I'm going to leave. You guys aren't even talking because we were all like, go get the thing. Yeah, we were in a hotel. We went down to dinner, Will, and she told us she was there and we said we had no recollection she was there. We said that we didn't know she was there.

And then she told us she was making bracelets with beads. Now, Sean, so you're down... Go ahead, Sean. No, no, you go. I was going to talk about what's going on down there in Australia. Tell me, what's your average day now down there? As sort of a planned dad, you're bringing the girls to the set to coordinate with lunchtime or...

Well, the girls are in school here. We always throw the girls in school immediately. How long are you there for? I'm here for another eight weeks, and then I'm editing a little bit, but then I go back to New York to edit. But the girls will stay here, I think, for 10 weeks, and then Emily's here for 12 more weeks.

Wow. That's a long time. Wow. I've never been here, by the way. Will, you've been here. Drew Form just told me that you guys flew together. Yeah. I've been there twice with Drew. Yeah. And not only that, I don't look around, but I actually, I'm like Mr. Australia. I just did it with Rose Byrne. I just did a...

big campaign for tourism Australia so I'm kind of like representing yes yes I've seen it now is it out yet is that crazy it's awesome yeah boy what so where that's incredible how many pages down on the list do you think they were I mean why would they go what oh my god what

What about Will Arnett just screams, oh, fuck, we got to get Will Arnett to sell Australia to the world. When I think of the Outback. You know what's funny about that? I mean, I get Rose Byrne at least is Australian. Go ahead, Kraz. Yeah, you know what's funny about that, too. Will, do you remember when we were at Margarita Mix? I've only had one voice campaign in my life because they heard what I had and they said thanks anyway. It's a voiceover studio here in town. It was for e-surance. Thank you. Yeah, click or call. Anyway, but...

It was a goodie. But I was in the booth. I was in the booth doing the script. And in walks Will. And he's like, Cres, what's going on? And they were like, Will? The guys in Chicago were like, Will, is that you? He gets on the mic. And he's like, hey, who is it? And they were like, it's Andy and Dave. And he was like, Andy, Dave, what's going on? And you could hear these dudes going, you think he might take a pass? And I went, hey, man, get out of the booth.

This is all I've got right now. Will, give us a clicker call right now. I'm such a clicker call insurance. Oh, no. Oh, God. They're going to revive it. Hang on a second. Yeah. Oh, shit. Is this going to wreck the audio, the beeping of the Brinks truck? Hey, do you mind if I give it a go once? Yeah, let's hear it, Shawnee. Okay. What's the line?

Clicker call. Clicker call. Okay, ready? Yep. Clicker call. E-insurance. Yeah, it's just e-surance. Oh, e-surance. It's just e-surance. But it's crazy because I remember, Will, you said into the microphone, do you guys need it truckier? And I was like, come on, man. Truckier. Truckier. Come on.

Kraz, one of my favorite. We have so many memories. I mean, we... Fuck, man. Holy shit, how much time have we spent over the years? And I was thinking about...

One time, I don't even know how long ago this was, but we were down at, do you remember this? We're at the Grey Dog, the one on Carmine Street in New York. Oh, yeah. We're having coffee. It was like a, I don't know, it was like a Wednesday morning or something. You know where I'm going with this. And we're sitting there and people are walking by and we're like, look at this guy. We have the comments for everybody. We're like, look at this freaking loser. Hey, nice fucking jeans. Just to each other, make each other laugh. And then we're kind of quiet for a second and we just go.

God, Bateman would love this. Just tossing shit bombs. By the way, I think the biggest regret of leaving, definitely the biggest regret of leaving L.A. was leaving you guys. And Emily said that the thing she'll miss most is seeing the three of us in a corner just doing bits. Just completely isolated from the rest of the group. Just doing, serving up bits. Entertaining to only us three. Just pathetic and obnoxious. Oh, God.

We'll be right back. And now, back to the show. Johnny, I actually have a real question for you. Okay. Which is... I'll bet you don't. First of all, is... Theater stories. Believe me, if you have any, I'm all ears. They're the best stories. Hey, John, what's the craziest... I can't even get it out. Go ahead. Go ahead, Johnny.

By the way, you know what? You guys make fun of me asking people for theater stories, and they always end up being hilarious stories. They always have. It's true. And I find from people who listen to the show that they fucking love them, too. And actually, John is a legitimate theater guy. So if you have any awful, horrible stories. No, okay, great.

So, but I really have a real... I got them written down right here, Sean. I'll get to them at the end. Yeah, only did one play. It was all a nightmare. No, for real? But you wrote? Yeah. Didn't you study playwriting at Brown? Playwriting, yeah, not play performing. That was, I did a couple plays at school, but no, I basically went to a theater school after I graduated. I was a mid-year at Brown, so everybody graduated in May. I still had a semester. And that's what, just for home births?

You just helped with home birth? I'm thinking of something else for sure. I'm definitely thinking of something else. I knew there was something there. Are there any funny theater writing stories? I'd love to hear a theater writing story funny thing. No, that's just, that was all just torturous. Well, because you're alone in a room writing. What's funny about that? There he is. He knows it.

Okay, so wait. But do I have a question? So A Quiet Place, was that your first directing gig or no? No. It wasn't. No, Will was in my directorial debut. That's right. Which was what? Will was in it. It was an adaptation of a David Foster Wallace book called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. And Will was in it. Probably starring in it, right? One of the hideous men. Probably headlining, name above title, and...

No, he was so nice to jump in. He came in and did this small part. It was amazing. It was amazing. So my serious question is dumb, which is what made you go from being an actor to wanting to be a director? Was there a person, a moment or something where you're on the set of The Office and go, I kind of want to do this. I'm more interested in how it's made than being in it.

I think there was something happening in the back of my head, but I never thought I'd have the confidence to direct. And I was actually sitting at a burrito place. What's it called in L.A.? Chipotle. Sharky's. Sharky's. Oh, yeah. Sharky's. I was sitting with Mr. Rainn Wilson, and he saw that I was a bit perplexed, and he said, what's going on? I said, I'm trying to get somebody to direct this movie I wrote called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. He goes, why don't you do it?

And my brain shut off and I went, what are you talking about? And he was like, you should just do it. And so I did. And that was, he encouraged me to, uh, to direct it. And then in between then the, the people at the office heard that I was going to direct a film. So they said, why don't you direct a couple episodes to get your feet wet? And the office was my entire film school. Everything I could ever dream of. I got in the purest form on that show from, I mean, the unbelievable writer's room that we had to, uh,

these unbelievable editors. And you were a writer before even an actor, before even a director? Were you a writer first? Sort of. I was an English major in college and I, in my senior year, I took a course which I got into the honors playwright program. What college? Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. Okay, great. Got it. I've heard it. Okay, Sean. Okay, Sean. I'm,

I'm done. We can wrap it up if you want. There's a fucking third degree over here, like he's a criminal. Is he on trial? What's going on? Why is Kras being persecuted right now? By the way, it just feels so good to be called Kras again. Nobody has called me Kras. Does nobody else call you Krasy? No? Nobody. God, all my phones throughout the years, it's all Kras on my thing. And so like, I'm just like, so when your name, anytime it comes up, I was... Well, you know how you come up on my phone. You know how you come up. Keep it clean. Keep it clean. Keri Russell's.

The popped eye in Mission Impossible 3. That's right. By the way. I know exactly what you're talking about. John, tell them why. Tell them why. Tell them why. It's one of my favorite movies. Will and I were obsessed with Mission Impossible. Of course. Born, all that stuff. We would literally go sit front row in

I mean, before any other humans were in the theater, we were there and we were prepared for all the movies. And we saw them. And when we saw Mission Impossible 3 and Keri Russell has a bomb go off in her head and her eye twisted, we hit each other and laughed so hard. I mean, just shaking each other. And I made it the picture so that when Will calls, it's just this.

And by the way, he'll do it to me sometimes. He'll just like, we'll be outside and people are talking and he'll turn to me and just go, like do the, I think. And the other thing we do to each other, I think I mentioned this to JJ when he was on the show, at Abrams, the little brown dot that they never explained that they just put on the arm. And when they, like in the movie at some point, the guy just walks up and just goes,

puts this brown dot and the person just slumps. And we're like, what is the brown dot? - It's the deadly freckle. - It's a poison dart. And also Billy Crudup's character mouths to Tom. He goes, and they have a conversation just mouthing. But Will, do you remember we were at a party and JJ had just directed "The Office."

And he goes, I can't believe I remember this. And I'm so embarrassed to say this story. JJ goes, hey, man, you want to meet Tom Cruise? And I went, what? And I was like 24, 25 or something. And he's like, come on over. And I go up and Tom's coming down the stairs with like four bodyguards.

and I don't know how, Will's watching me, and I don't know how I had the guts to do this. I went up and pretended to put a brown dot on his wrist. - Oh, God. - A poison dart on his wrist. And the four bodyguards moved on me and were going to kill me before I started mouthing to Tom, and he went, "Ha ha!" And he started laughing.

And gave me, like, a hug and was like, this guy's okay. But for a second, they thought I was going to murder him. That's awesome. Because he geeked out. We used to go down to my old apartment on the west side in New York, and we used to go watch movies downtown, and then we'd see, like, we saw all those movies down in those theaters. We saw the Mission Impossible and all the Bourne movies. And then we'd, do you remember, we'd, like, run up, and we'd be all gacked out on, like, M&Ms and popcorn or whatever. And we'd run up the west side highway just freaking,

fucking like kids who were so stoked running as if we're like this, like we run like Tom Cruise. By the way, I'm in my like mid to late thirties. Oh my God. We used to yell, take the shot with holding our ears. I love that. To people on the street. And then we found out Frank Marshall, our buddy was one of the producers and we made him tell us stories. We apprehended him. And then he ended up sending us rap gifts for,

from the latest Bourne movie. He sent one. He sent a metal case with like t-shirts and stuff to my house. And Will was so funny because I went, look, look, what do you got? And he goes, but I didn't get one. And I was like, no, I know. And he goes, so what do we do? We had to split up. We had to split up stuff. Did you get invited to Conan's Christmas party, John?

Did you get invited to Conan's Christmas party? I bet you a million bucks you did. No? No. How about Emily? Conan O'Brien? Yeah. That's right. Yeah. No, I didn't. And now I'm really sad. I'm really sad about that. But he knows that they live in New York. And by the way, Kraz used to work at Conan when he was a kid. And he does. He lived in LA. He was an intern there. I was his intern, yeah. For real? It was his script intern. Yeah. So my job, all the other interns, I got the writing script intern. And

And the greatest part of the job, I couldn't believe it, was everybody gave him hair and makeup and all the producers are telling him all these notes of the guests and stuff. And then they all would clear out for 30 seconds as Max Weinberg would hit the drums and

And I would have 30 seconds alone with Conan where he rehearsed the monologue just to me. - Oh, wow. - And I would cry laughing every single day. And at the end of the summer, what was my favorite joke? He's like, "Yeah, you think these jokes are funny?" And I said, "Yeah." And he goes, "Really? I thought kids your age just went home, smoked weed and listened to Pearl Jam."

I was like, well, you're not far off. But then at the end, he brought me into his office. The last day we were all leaving, he brought me into his office, gave me a Sam Adams, said, I know you're from Boston. Here's a Sam Adams. I just wanted to say thank you for laughing every night. You have no idea what it means to have laughter be the last thing you see before you go on stage. And I cried. Oh, he's the greatest. I burst into tears. Of course you did. I'm bursting into tears hearing this.

- Wait, that's how old are-- - And by the way, later, he was my first talk show. So the first talk show I ever did was Conan. - Wow. - So when I went back to do Conan, it was, again, I cried. But I was walking through the hallways and all these people I used to work for were like, "Hey, this is great. We love the office. We're so proud of you." And I was like, "Huh." It was so intense. And then the guy pulling the curtain was the nicest guy ever.

And he was like, "We're all so proud of you. Go out there and have a great time." And I blacked out. Literally don't remember anything until I was standing in the seat and Conan was already shaking my hand and he saw that I was having a panic attack. And he was like, "Don't worry, buddy. It's gonna be great." And pushed me into the chair. And that's how I... - Wow. - And cut to Kimmel says repeatedly that you and Arnett are two of the best, if not the best talk show guests

in the history of showbiz. Yeah. No, I think it's just I'm so happy to be humiliated for Kimmel anytime he wants. I think the lowest was I dressed as a shrimp for something. And I don't know what it was, but I was a shrimp. I dressed as a shrimp. On his show. Yeah. I was in a skin-tight Spider-Man outfit once out in the Hollywood space.

Out in front of the Man's Chinese. Yeah, on Hollywood Boulevard. Oh, I remember that. Well, you guys were... I mean, those are pretty heady days, especially back then when you guys... When you moved up there and you and Kimmel lived directly across the street from each other for a number of years. That was some fun times. Oh, my God. Honestly, it's the thing we miss most about L.A. It was the hardest decision because leaving...

Leaving those guys, leaving you guys, it was really, really hard. Speaking of traveling around and stuff, it's got to be so tough that you and Emily being as busy as two people could ever be. I mean, if you wanted to be working nonstop, you both could be. But you seem to both decide not to be working at the same time as much as you can avoid it so that you can be with the kids and play mom or dad on the other person's set. You just kind of take turns. Is that right?

Yeah, we do the best we can to take turns. It's been, it was going pretty well until COVID because that just pushed everything back. So we had this whole plan. She was going to do this, this amazing show that just came out, The English. It's one of the best things I've seen in a long, long time if you haven't seen it. And she shot that in Spain.

And I was doing Jack Ryan for two years straight because we shot two seasons back to back. Which was also incredible. I mean, that's got to be such a difficult shoot. No kidding. I mean, Jesus, God, that's a lot. Yeah, exhausting. It was crazy. I mean, definitely shooting. I think we were the second production back after COVID. I think it was Mission Impossible and us. And so, you know, you have 350 people showing up very courageously to work and saying we're going to get back to work and everything.

we were in nine countries in season three during COVID and all that travel. And then season four, I think we were in five more countries. And so it was...

I mean, it's so much fun, and I have such a great time playing the role. But yeah, I mean, shooting that, it's a whole different thing from being behind a desk for 10 years. Yeah, I mean, don't you miss that? A nice, predictable air-conditioned sitcom on a stage in Burbank? Oh, yeah. Just LED lights, nothing changes. Yeah. Granddad, fucking cool your slippers for a second. We're talking to people who are out in the world. Grab service table over there. Get you a dressing room in the stage.

Like you go to craft service. Unless they've served cardboard and almonds, you're not going there. Hey, Krazy, it was such a departure, though, for you, truly, actually, kind of on what Jason was saying. Like, you, first of all, I got to say, one of the great things about spending, you know, the last couple years about being at home a lot and whatever, one of the good things was catching up on a lot of things. And there were so many big pockets of the office that I didn't see at the time. And I talked about it with Carell when we had him on.

I never fully appreciated it. And I watched it with my kids. My older kids, Archie and Abel, just wanted to watch. That's all they wanted to watch. All of it. Every single episode. We watched all the way through.

And I never-- I feel like I never really got a chance to say back then when you were doing it-- and we talked a lot at that time, you know, when you were doing the show, we spent so much time together. I never got a chance to say how fucking great you were on that show. How funny, how in the zone you were, how just-- For sure, for sure. Dialed in you were, man. Honestly, it was-- it's really--

Really, really, really good. And it lives forever. That is so nice. Super small and subtle too. And that was like, you hadn't done a ton of shit before that, right? No, I was a waiter. Yeah, I was going to say, tell us how you got it. No, guys, coming from you guys, that means so much to me. Really, it really does. I don't think Sean really agreed. I just said it should mean a lot. John, tell me how you got the part for people that don't know like me. What was that like? Was it offered? Did you have to read for it? I love this.

Oh, yeah, I definitely had to read for it. Oh, really? I thought you were saying my question. No, no, no, no.

No, I really was waiting tables. I hadn't done hardly anything. And I had done a couple commercials and I got a manager. Jason, you paid a waiter once, right? Sorry. Sorry. Paid a waiter. Paid a waiter once. Had you seen The British Office before you read for it? Oh, yeah. I was a huge fan. Huge fan of that. And so waiting tables, I'm watching the black DVD of The Office when it came to America. I remember it came in that black case. It was amazing.

went to a record store and picked it up. No, so I was such a huge fan of that. And they called, I'll never forget actually, they called and said, would you ever come in to read for this show? And I said, great. And I had actually been out in LA testing for things that I didn't get. And I met Alison Jones who- The great Alison Jones. Cast your show, Arrested. Yeah. And cast our show. And she said, it's so nice to meet you. I have something coming called The Office, look out for it. And I said, okay, great.

and they called me and they said will you come in for the part of dwight and i remember yeah i'm waiting tables yeah i'm coming in yeah no i said no i literally knew the show so well i said and my manager think no he thought i was insane and i said i if i'm gonna do it i want to put my best foot forward and he said you you know they're not very happy about this they might not call again i said i would just rather not ruin my chance by doing that role

And then like six weeks later, they called and they said, can you come in for the role of Jim? And I said, sure. So I read for that. And then I remember I tested in New York first at 30 Rock. I was terrified. I was literally shaking.

And there were seven dudes that looked exactly like me, like all gyms just sitting on a bench. And each one after one went in and auditioned and probably had a great time, heard tons of laughter. Sure. It was just me. It was just me waiting. And the casting director came out and goes, so we're just going to take a quick lunch for an hour. So we'll come. We'll get to you when we're back. And I said, oh, just one more. Oh, one more. One more. No. OK. Waiting is so nerve wracking. Everybody leaves. Everybody came back with whatever the sweet greens was back then.

And I watched everybody come in and out, like hundreds of people. And then this guy sat across from me and he said, are you nervous? And I said, no, you either get these things or you don't. But what I'm really nervous for is whoever's making this show because it is such a perfect show and Americans have a way of just ruining every good show that comes out of the UK. And he goes, well, I'm Greg Daniels. I'll sure as hell try not to do that. And I went, what?

And Greg Daniels created the American office for people who don't know. Created the show. Oh, my God. The good news is he claims that it was one of the reasons I got the part because when I walked into the room, not out, they were laughing. It's a real Jim thing to say, by the way. That's what I'm talking about. It's perfect. No, when I walked in, everyone was laughing, and it wasn't laughing with you. It was laughing inside.

just pointing and laughing at how stupid I was. Oh, my God. And when I did it, Greg said, you got the part because honesty is the best policy. And I remember that. I remember that. And I was like, sure, man. Oh, great. Did they give it to you in the room? No. No. I then went to L.A. and tested. I remember I flew with Jim Gaffigan. Yeah. Bob Odenkirk. Oh, yeah. They were both testing for Michael Scott. Yeah.

I remember they split up the New York kids and the LA kids. And so the New York kids went first and everybody left. And I was the last person in the New York group

and I didn't know what to do and all these LA kids were going in and they were testing and I'd been there probably five or six hours and I finally just said, "Oh my God, they forgot to send me home." - Oh, funny. - So I walked onto the set, the producers, they actually shot on the set of the show. They had already built a version of the set. - Up in the valley there? - Yeah, it was, well, we moved to Chandler Valley. We started in Culver City. There was like a Culver City thing. - Wow. - But I went up and I said, "You, I think

I think you forgot to send me home. I'm going to leave now. And from behind like a wall, you heard somebody go, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. Don't do that. Give us 30 more minutes. And I said, okay. And in walked this girl. And I literally took one look at this girl and I said, ah, that's the person who gets the part. If I could ever read with her, I'd have one shot at this show. And it was Jenna Fisher. I knew she was going to get the role as soon as she walked in the room.

Wow. And then we, they said, we just want you to read with one other person. And I said, who? And they were like, Jenna Fisher. And I went, yes. Because I thought if she, if I at least get to read with her.

I'll have a shot. And we read together. And I remember it was as we walked out, I turned to her and I said to her, you're going to get this part. And she goes, oh my God, I thought you would get this part. And it's very sweet when we both got the part as we both tell the story. It's true. The first thing I did was jump on my couch and scream. And then the second thing I said was who's playing Pam. And they said this girl named Jenna Fisher. And I said, wow, that's a great story. That's amazing. And we will be right back. And now back to the show.

Willie, you have a similar experience with when you read for Arrested, right? Do you remember that when you left? Yeah. When we walked out? We walked... Well, I... Actually, it involves rain. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, and I flew out to LA as well, and I was super sick, and I...

I gave one of those auditions in York. When I read for it, I was like, whatever. I just kind of did it. And then they called and they go like, you got to come out to LA, but you got to, you have to sign your test seal before you go. And Prince Potter kept calling me going, my manager,

Peter. And I go, oh, Peter. Yeah. And they kept going, I know, sweet Pete. And they go, you gotta, you gotta sign your thing. And he's like, they keep calling. And I go, hey man, if they're so excited about me calling, why don't you renegotiate? Because they obviously want me to do it. So I said that at first and I was kind of joking. So I, but I fly out, it was me and Tony Hale. And Tony and, uh, I go out and I read for, I was there all weekend and we worked with the Russo brothers who are now of, you know, Marvel fame. And then, uh, and with Mitch Hurwitz, um,

whom I just spoke to about an hour ago, and they go, you got to go in and read. It was me and Rainn Wilson and... God, who was the other... Do you remember? French Stewart? No, he had already done it. But somebody... They had a bunch of good guys and guys who had been working. Rainn was still... You went in before Rainn. So, yeah, but a bunch of guys. Rainn had already done Six Feet Under. He had a real career going. And I was a fucking zero. And...

So we go in and I read and I come back out. And then the other guy came out and then Mitch followed him out. And he goes, you got the part, you got the part. And I look over and I see Rain still in the waiting room right there. Still running his sides. And I've been that guy. That's why, you know, John, when you're talking about...

being and waiting and then going to lunch or whatever. It's such a, already, it's such a vulnerable position when you go out and you're putting it all out on the line and you want it. And I see him there and I've been in that position so many times and I just went to Mitch and I went, oh, no, no, please. And then I go, please,

Please, please, please. That guy's... Hasn't even read yet. Hasn't even read. They didn't even... You were like, sorry, did my manager get to you about the renegotiation? Is it more? Did you talk to Peter Principato? Everybody followed out of the room, walked right past Rain. They were done. But the good news is, what a month later, he reads for the office. It was like a year later he reads for the office. And would have been unavailable. Just so you know, I personally believe...

Arrested is, I think, my favorite show. I think it's my favorite show. No, it's true. Stop, Sean. No, I remember. Sean's never seen it? Yeah, I know. I know, Sean. You've seen two, Sean. You said you saw two. I've seen two episodes, yeah. It's the best show I've ever seen. Those were great ones. No, but I remember when that show came on, it was such a big deal because The Office had come out, the British one,

And that level of comedy was untouched. And then you guys came out with this whole other lane that was so good. And I just remember thinking, if I could be on a show that good, that has the confidence to... My favorite thing was how you guys brought jokes back at the end of an episode that you had barely touched on at the beginning. But you guys were that good, if not better, and people were actually watching your show. It stayed on for, what, 10 years? You guys were a big hit. And we... You know what's weird? I just mentioned Janine Gruffalo. She had sent...

She had sent Amy these... She had these tapes of The Office that she brought her before, like right around the time they were about to start airing them on BBC America when Jason and I started watching. And I'd seen these tapes and I was like, holy fuck. We'd already done the pilot, but I was talking to... I was like, this show is fucking... And it seemed like one. And then we started watching all these episodes and we were obsessed with it. We were studying it. And then it was like, I remember them saying, at the time actually...

we thought that we were going to maybe get canceled Arrested Development the entire time we were on the air. Mm-hmm. Yeah, us too. Week to week. Us too. The first two years. And we had been on the air for six months or something, and they were starting to put together the office, and Peter Principato, my manager, said, hey, Allison Jones wants to know, if Arrested falls apart, would you ever consider going in for the office? I don't know if I ever told you that. For Jim. For the part of Jim and Pam. Yeah.

Oh, my God. They were going to make them into one character. Oh, my God. Yeah. Just to save a little money, just to wiggle away. And they were going to call them Jam. Yeah. They were going to call them Jam. God, that makes sense. Well, there goes my spinoff. There's a lot. And I said, yeah, anyway, we made that pilot. Jam. Wow. Yeah, we made that pilot. That's why they won't do a reunion, because my idea was Jam, and they had already done it. Hey, John, I have another... We'll be right back after this. Yeah, I have another question. Coming right back from the Arrested Development Rewatch Podcast. Get us back on track, Sean. The...

I want to know, of all the stuff that you're doing, because you are so now prolific as a director and everybody...

is celebrating you in that way and rightfully so because you just are incredible do you have a goal of a film or a type of film that you really want to conquer that you haven't conquered yet either like a genre or a specific story anything in particular right now he's going please say musical please say musical musical comedy musical comedy 7-8

You know, the truth is, like I said, I never knew that I would have the opportunity to be a director. Right. Just listen to the question, now that you are. Okay. Copy. Fuck me. Sorry. Let me just redo that. Sorry. Let me throw this tissue away. No more tears. No more tears.

I think you should remake the producers and put Sean in there as Gene Wilder. And I'll play Zero Mostel. There you go. By the way, Sean, I can't wait to see Goodnight Oscar. Can't wait. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. Look, he knows it's April. Look at this. We'll all go together. At the Barbaresco Theater. What is it? The Belasco. Yes! Yes!

The Vinnie Barbarino. Has any show received more consistent press on a lean-in than this fucking Good Night Oscar? This thing better open. Let me tell you something. It better be fucking good now. You shit the bed during previews. No, so no specific like, oh my God, I have this in my back pocket. I don't care if it takes 20 years to make. I have this passionate story I want to tell. No, the way it goes for me is I just, I fall in love with something, an idea that,

And I just do exactly that. So this idea that I had for Imaginary Friends, I never thought I would do sort of a, you know, comparable movie would be like E.T. or something like that. It's sort of a, it's sort of a, and I never thought I'd do something like that. Certainly never thought I'd do genre at all. Didn't think I, I could never watch horror movies ever. I was so scared to watch horror movies. And so,

When I directed a horror movie, that was terrible. John, remember when we went to see I Am Legend? Oh, my God. And the Dark Knight came on. Oh, my God. Oh, no. What happened? What happened?

Poor John. We just kept doing it over and over and over. Because that guy was the star of the show. That guy. No, but Will, do you remember we sat in this IMAX and all of a sudden Will and I, again, were in this tear of just...

you know, big action movies. You guys just burn in afternoons? Is that what it was? I mean... Just trying to get to dinner somehow? Oh, my God. No, but, Will, do you remember they played the first ten minutes of The Dark Knight? I was about to say that! And we went, oh, my God, oh, my God, we've heard about this, where they, like, switch a movie to test the audience. We're a test audience! And then it stopped after ten minutes, and it went...

I don't, man, that was fucking crazy. What do you mean they stopped the movie after 10 minutes? They stopped the actual movie. They literally showed the opening of The Dark Knight, the whole thing as like a special thing tied to I Am Legend. But it didn't even say like this preview. It just started. Oh, that's weird. It was so weird. We were like, oh my God, we're in a test. We're in a test. At first, we didn't even know it was Dark Knight because you don't know it. And we're like, what the fuck is going on? And then we're like, holy shit, they're going to show the fucking movie. And then we're like,

And then the Joker came on screen and we were like, oh, man. It was wild. And then, and we would do that for fucking months to each other out of the blue. I like that. I remember Amy hating it. Well, do you remember? Guys, stop. Oh, she's talking. And we were like, right.

She hated it so much. You starting to sniff out any talent there with the eight and the six-year-old? They want to act or direct or sing or anything like that, like mom and dad? They went through phases of it, but I don't think either of them right now are wanting to do it. Would you let them if they said they wanted to? I don't think they know that I'm an actor, so they think I'm an accountant. Do you think they're going to be tall?

Oh, yeah. Hazel's very tall. Is she? But I was not so tall, but yeah, Hazel's very tall. Just all the way. You know, John's family, his parents are both really tall. His brothers are really... I'm the shortest. He's the shortest in his family, but he's 6'4". Everybody is huge. If you ever want to...

Anytime I spend time around John's family, I'm always like, fuck, man, I feel short. And I usually feel tall, especially around you two idiots. I feel like, you know, really a person of substance. And then, because tall people are better. And so then, and I know I'm going to get a lot of pushback on that. But then, but John, as it turns out, was at the time for many years, John, what's the stat about your birth weight?

Oh, I was the biggest baby in Boston, I think, for... I was 11 pounds, 12 ounces. Good God, that's three children. Yeah, it was three children. And you were the last one. Yeah, I was the last one. I'll never forget this story. Will loves this story. My mom went to a doctor's appointment

and was with a doctor and a nurse walked by, a gentleman walked by and literally looked like he was in a horror movie. And he said to my mom, he goes, "I was there." And she goes, "Excuse me?" And he goes, "I was there when you gave birth to that baby." And my mom goes, "Well, I have three kids." And he went, "No, the big one."

But this guy was scarred for life. And then he went, and then he went. That's fucking good. I love that story. I can't get over how crazy that is. Yeah, I probably wasn't the biggest baby in Boston. I was probably the biggest baby at that hospital for a while. But yeah. That's really funny. I was there. That baby. I was there. I was there.

He was like sliding in, shuffling like a zombie. Jesus. Krazy, fuck, it's so great to see you, dude. Thank you for coming and doing this, man. This was so awesome. Thank you, guys. Miss you, man. Super fun. When's the in-person stuff again? So you're there for another eight weeks, then you're going to be in New York. And then I'll be in New York indefinitely. You know what that'll time out to? It'll time out to carpooling to Sean Hayes' Broadway show playing at...

Which theater? The Belasco. The Belasco. The Belasco. By the way, if you guys come for opening night, let's all go together. Let's all go together. Let's all go. Done. Done. Done. Let's all go together. I can't wait. I would love that. I can't. That'll be really fun. And honestly, Sean, congratulations. That's amazing. Thanks, pal. Thanks. It's been about 15 years in the making. Wow. The reviews are off the chart. This is going to take everybody. It's going to be a smash hit. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Okay.

But anyway, Johnny, it's so good to see you. I haven't seen you in so long. Please let's get together when you come back. Yeah. I would love it. And thank you, guys. This was wonderful to hang out again. It's been too long. Miss you guys. John, love you, buddy. Miss you, too. Love you, man. Have fun down under. All right, guys. Thanks. Gasoline. Bye, Johnny. Aluminium.

Oh, nice. He knows how to slam it. He knew. He couldn't wait to slam it. He's a listener. He couldn't wait to slam it. That's such a... He's a true listener. I mean, he is a listener, as you know. He's texted us. Jason, he's texted you, too, how much he likes listening to the show and...

I tried to put it together for a while. I obviously knew he was coming on for a while, and we were just trying to time it out for a couple months. That was a good surprise. Wait, he was really supposed to go on the day of or after Emily? I'm pretty sure it was the day after or two days after. Wow, that would have been wild. And that's why you guys...

And you guys were after we had Emily on the show after the recording and she left the show, we were talking about it and you guys were like, we've got to get John on. And I was like, Jesus fucking Christ. I know. I kept going, no, I know. And you knew it. You knew it the whole time. And I knew it back then. What a great guy. This really sucks he doesn't live in L.A. anymore. I know it does. It's a problem. God damn it. It changed everything. Why don't we just move to New York?

I know. He lives in New York, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, we've talked about, the three of us, about and fantasized about all of us just living there full time again. I know I used to live there for over 20 years. I know. I know. Do you miss it, Will? I do. You know, when I first sold, my apartment was like five, God, coming up on six years ago. And I was like, no, I'm just like so LA. Now I really...

I really miss it. I do. It's hard to... What about even just for friendships? Like, it'd be like... Guys are terrible about maintaining friendships, right? Well, I'll speak for myself. I just feel like, well, we'll just pick it up right where we left off. And for the most part, that's true. But, I mean, maybe in our last third, half, quarter of our lives...

We'll just throw it all away and just do friendships? No career? We'll do that with the retirement? Oh, for sure. Yeah, but that's one of the great things about when you are in New York. And, you know, obviously, Kres and I talked so much back then in the day, we would...

Yeah, we would burn afternoons and go to see movies and stuff. But when you're in New York, you kind of do that more than we do in L.A. We're so sequestered in Los Angeles. And the three of us, obviously, because the weekends we spend time together or whatever, and Jason, we play golf. Like, if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't see each other. You know, it's funny. It reminds me of, you know, you guys know Mike O'Malley. We love him. You're friends with him and my old friend. And I remember him once saying, like, when you...

People getting mad that you don't hang out anymore. He used to always say, yeah, life happens. And then when you see each other, you pick back up and you don't go like, hey, why don't we hang out? You don't get into that shit. You just go, hey, I love you. And here we go. And you pick it back up. But here's the thing. Like a marriage, friendships are also work. Yeah. Right? So you have to put the effort in in order to receive it back. So I think if you think of it that way, that's how I think of it.

You think of our friendship as a lot of work? -Too much. -Good to know. Good to know. I feel like you guys are staring at my box here. Well, we were when you were flossing your teeth. -Hi. -Hi, girl. So, but Johnny, we love him. We do love him and it was great. I'm so happy that we've now had-- I was thinking also, two of our friends, but certainly two guys that I used to spend, you know,

A lot of time with them and still do in various, you know, because like we were just saying, life kind of happens. But two guys who at different times in my life I've considered to be, it almost sounds patronizing to say little brothers, just because they're younger than me, Kraz and Bradley have gone on to become these great directors. And so is this other guy we're looking at, Jason Bateman. Also younger than you.

Please. Looking. Sorry, let me finish. Oh, that's true. Go ahead. I guess that's fair. That's because you have all that dirty hair. You know, that was great to talk to John. Very, very difficult for the interview to be over because, you know, at the end of it, you've got to say bye, you know? So let's just make it real this time, you know? God, that was a very real bye. It's hard to say bye to John. Bye. I'm trying to make it real and also bye. So...

Give your best crying bye right now. Soft, soft bye. Soft cry bye. Cry bye. Bye. Will? Sean, what's your best cry bye? That was it. Oh. Will? Here's mine. Ready? Yeah. What? Oh, God. Oh, my God. It had a little bit of vomit in it, too. What?

So I guess they'll let us know. They'll let us know which one they want to go with. My availability is, thank you. You swallowed that bite. Fuck. That was a good one.

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