"Chris Pratt"
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Look, there's a rumor going around that I really love seafood. First of all, that's false. I like it. I don't love it. But I like sushi more. But I think what the real rumor was going around that I like women, which is totally not true. Welcome to Smartless. Smart. Less. More.

Smart. Less. Smart. Less.

When did you get home, Will? I just got back today. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's really exciting. I had a great time. Thanks for asking. Well, so you still do at old school. You dress up nice for plane flights. Is that right? Listener, Will's got a nice collar and a v-neck on. I do, actually. You kind of dress up every day anyway. Were you flying first class on Pan Am or something? Or something. But

but let me just say oh is that right eh well you know good for you you know you don't need to dress up for that one they wait for you I know and and I do and you know why because I think that you you can't you can't coach people up all the time but you can just model it for them so I'm just like I'm trying to set this standard I'm like I'm not going to tell everybody else how to do it and I'm just going to do it I'm just lead by example and I feel like yeah I should look nice I don't

I don't see why not. I was in Atlanta. You know, I had a great time. Thanks for asking, though. No, we didn't. I had a really nice time. And it was with all my friends. What were you doing down there? Let's plug some of your stuff. Yeah.

Well, you know, I was working on the, we were making more of this Lego program that I like to make. Sure. I host a Lego program and I also. You do? Sure, yeah, and I produce it as well. And we have a really fun time down there. Do you drive a GMC when you're down there or eating any Reese's candies? Actually, don't tell them.

I was in a Chevy. Wait, what? That's okay. It's within the GM family. It's okay. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because GMC and Chevy are both divisions of GM. That's enough. That's enough. And I had great meals made by my friend Brandy. If you're down in Atlanta and you need great meals, Brandy. So you're in the Camaro. You're in the Camaro. Was it a five-speed Camaro? No.

It was a Suburban. Oh, so you weren't driving. You were riding in a Chevy. No, I drove it every day. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. You know I like to get behind the wheel of a big truck. You had a pull hitch on that Suburban, did you? You know...

Part of the problem is... I got a cat. Sometimes. Did you... Wait, did you... Sean, go ahead. Go ahead, Sean. Are you done done? You don't have to go back? You're done? I'm not done. I don't have to go back. Remember, I came back before. Yeah. I'm really excited. I'm really excited to be here with you guys. I literally got here this afternoon. I'm so... So excited.

Happy, Jason. Somebody loves Los Angeles. I do. And, Shawnee, you're back in Los Angeles, too. I am, too. We're all back. We're going to see each other Sunday, maybe. Sunday night, we're doing Sunday Funday. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. Did you not even know about this? I just got home. I'm sure Amanda's got a full menu of plans that you've created with her. Yeah, we did. Will and I share a wife. Yeah, it's true.

I love that I know before you do and Sean does too. I know. It's so good. Yeah, Sunday's going to be fun. I can't wait. I'm really excited to see all y'all. Tracy might come. Is that true? Is that right? Yeah. Listener, this is significant news. Do we have to explain stuff at dinner to her? Which food is it? Well, we're the fork. This is a fork. Yeah.

Jason was making fun of my name before you got on, Will, and he was making fun of my last name. It's been misspelling it all these years. It's S-H-A-W-N. And Hayes, everybody knows, is H-A-I-S-E. No, but anyways, I had an M-I- That's why you're so bad at Quirtle. Quirtle.

Quirtle. And Wirtle. No, Sean, we went from Wirtle to Quirtle. I can't do it. I try it. So now we're on a chain with Sam Jones and with Mr. Smartless' friend, Matt. Our friend Matt, Matt Damon. And...

Jason struggled with Quirtle, but you know what? We've been gentle on him. What would we have to Quirtle? Matt and I tied again today, so now we're going, we've now decided that tie break, you have to go to Octortle, whatever it's called. Octortle. It's so stupid. And it gets real chippy in that chain, doesn't it? You've had some good runs, but it gets chippy in there. Will's gifted. Will's, he's surprisingly good at,

some things you wouldn't think he's good at and then shockingly bad at stuff you think he'd just kind of breeze through. You know, like driving. Are you really bad at driving? Sometimes walking. Boy, you put a stick of gum in his mouth and ask him to walk down the street. It's something. No.

Did you guys... Yeah, go ahead, Sean. No, you go. I was going to get to our guest. Oh, you were going to get to the guest? Well, they've been waiting for a good 45 minutes. No, they haven't. We had a 5 o'clock record time, Will. No, we had... Oh, my God. No, he is... He just made me panic. I know the way he does it. By the way, Sean...

- Yes. - Speaking of dressing up, you're wearing a nice shirt today. I am. You wanna know why I swear to God I'm not making this up? Yeah, I swear to-- 'cause first of all, let me just say for our listener, no baseball cap and no T-shirt that says, like, "Bob's Beer." Yeah, and it's a lavender gingham button-up. So clearly-- what time did Mask get out today? Yeah, Sean, what happened-- and by the way, stand up 'cause I wanna see the Dockers too. Yeah, no, they are Dockers.

Tucked into some pleated khakis. They are dark. They are dark. They're cargo pants. Oh, cargo pants. What happened? Did you unlock a time capsule from 1998? Does it have a loop for the hammer? I was just playing Uncharted. No, I swear to God, I did not make this up. I woke up today and I saw my sweats and my shorts. I was like, gosh, I wear that every day. Even to parties? Every day. Yeah, even to parties.

And then I was like, you know what? Poor Scotty never sees me dressed as a human being. So for Scotty today, I dressed in a nice shirt and just regular pants. Just to kick around the house and eat your tuna fish sandwiches? Yeah, totally. By the way, not even kidding, had a tuna fish sandwich today and a little bit of spaghetti. Of course not kidding. There's nothing kidding about that. Yeah. This is very serious business, dude.

Anyway, thank you for noticing. You look great. So that's just your kick-around outfit today. That's my kick-around outfit today. I mean, I had stuff to do, but yeah. And is this the same haircut from 12 days ago from Skid Row? Oh, I thought you were going to say. Yes, it is. Oh, it is. It's getting long, right? It's getting long. Getting a little long on top there. Yeah, I'm going to have to cut it. Can we come in for your next sesh? My next haircut? What's his name again? It's Skid Row. Skid Row. What?

I'm not Scevo. If you're listening, I'm not laughing at you. I just appreciate the salon name. I know. Wait a minute, Jason, it's the same salon you go to. I just go to a different guy. My guy's name is Chris, you know, like, uh,

Skevo, you can't do anything but cut hair with a name like Skevo. Jason, let me ask you. Did Chris break both his hands? What's going on? Listener, I've got some real growth. I actually kind of like the long hair. It's not great. It's not great. We'll let our guest weigh in on this, but I need a hat at least.

All right, let's get to it. Let's go. Let's go with this guest. Come on, let's go. Our guest today is pretty major, guys. I think you'll be impressed. I'm so excited he agreed to do this. The man is hilarious. And just when we thought he couldn't get more successful and at the top of his game, his career became a marvel.

And everything shifted for this handsome, funny man, which is usually an oxymoron. He's so clearly one of the most sought-after actors in Hollywood, starring in Blockbuster after Blockbuster. But most important, above all, he's also one of the kindest, most humblest men I've ever known, so we really aren't worthy. But regardless, welcome to Smartless, Christopher Pratt.

Chris Pratt! I knew I had it with the Chris, damn it! Are you serious? I know. Oh, boy. Now, Sean, you and I are going to have to just take a seat and let these two... I know. They love each other so much. They went to space camp. We were just talking about him coming on this show, and that's... I know. I know.

I know. Will, why didn't you invite him? I mean, Chris Pratt. I know. Why didn't you invite me? What's wrong with you, Will? Oh, my God. This is such a... You guys in a fight? And I just checked in with Michael recently, and I was like, what's going on with Pratt? He's like, it's going to happen. Let me just get back. I'm like, okay. This is like, okay. Sean and I are just fascinating. I'm happy you're here. I'm happy I'm here. Hi, Chris. I'm happy you're here. Hi, guys. Hi. I love that man we're talking to right now named Chris Pratt. And I don't know if you guys know, but I'm really close. I've known Chris.

his wife, Catherine, for decades, literally decades, since she was a child. So I feel like she's my little sister.

Great story. Chris, welcome to the show. Look, you've got a collar on too. I know. Yeah, why do you look so nice, Chris? I'm wrapping up. This is what I was wearing today. Eating tuna fish sandwiches? For work. I was doing some press stuff, so they had me dress up. If you've ever seen me dress nice, it's because I did something for work. Now, is this a junket outfit or a photography session outfit or a talk show outfit?

This... What did we do today? I did a talk show. I did a Kelly... The Kelly Clarkson show. Sure, sure. All right. And how was that? It was great. We did it with the whole cast of... Well, a bunch of the cast members from Jurassic World. And so... Jurassic World Dominion, you mean. Not familiar. What is that? Is that some sort of... That was good. That was really good. That was a good save by my part. So wait a minute. Let me tell you something. I watched that movie and I was blown away. That is...

An incredible ride. It's so fucking great. I'm so glad you said away. I'm so glad you said away. It was blown, period. I was like, where did you see the movie? Why do you think I dressed up today? I saw all of it. My friend, however, missed a large chunk of it. Yeah, it's...

Universal's loving this. Keep going, Sean. This is the kind of family content we need. It is so good, Chris. I hope you're proud of it because it's fucking amazing. Thanks, dude. Yeah, I am. It is really good. It's a great progression from the previous movie. It just keeps getting better and better. What's kind of nice is like,

The whole cast from Jurassic Park is back in this movie. Yes, to see you guys together was so cool. Yeah, it was cool. Wait, so this is Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern. Laura Dern, yeah, and B.D. Wong. Were all the dinosaurs available? Did they make their schedules? Many of the same dinosaurs came back. Some of them were a little bit...

Couldn't make their deals. I'm sure it is, yeah. It's not just actors. Unbelievable. I want to ask you something, Chris. You know, when someone is as massively successful as you, and you know, you know... Last question, Sean. Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's my... And then you gotta go? No, last question already. Fuck.

No, no, sorry. Go ahead. Sorry. Oh, wow. I got to speed things up. No, when someone's as hugely successful as you, and you know, you know every time you open a movie that it's going to be seen by the world. Do you ever go, damn, all my hard work paid off? Like, are you aware enough to embrace your own success? Can you enjoy it? Are you like, you know, push it away?

Oh, man. You can't win answering this question. This is what Sean does. Why not? He softens you up with all the praise, and then he drops a bomb on you that you can't win. No, no. And then he says, Chris, please walk into douche town. I want you to walk into douche town. Join me. I want you to say something about yourself that makes everyone think that you're a complete asshole. No, no, no. Sean, why don't you ask him how many times a day he Googles himself, okay? I'll answer that for myself. No.

No, no, I was asking because it's like a healthy thing to say, yes, I'm proud of what I've done. Like, it's okay to say that. Like, I just think it's so amazing that you're such a gigantic global star now and from where you came that you should feel proud because you have worked so hard. So I'll say it for you. Amen. There it is. I will second that. That's so nice. Yeah, I mean, look, I feel like definitely –

blessed and grateful. I've got an awesome manager who forces me to say no to things that I would absolutely say yes to if it weren't for my manager. So it's like the result of really great discernment on my team. It's definitely a team effort. That's nice. I've been lucky enough to hitch my wagon to these titles that were really, really special and big titles with Marvel and with Jurassic World. So it's like,

you know and not to deflect or anything like that like definitely proud of my contribution to him but these are these were like juggernauts that i was lucky enough to jump on and so like it's been an awesome but you would definitely not hold on will you would definitely not shy away from something that was fully dependent on you though right without without any sort of like you'd go off do some original one act in an equity waiver theater would you not

We got them. Oh, immediately. Yeah, yeah. It would have to be the right time of the year. Why, Bayman? What do you have in mind? And go for Will. I was just noticing that you were saying you were really grateful and blessed, and you kind of at first said you're blessed, and I was like, that's a great, you created a nice word, which is grateful and blessed. I feel really blessed.

Oh, that's right. It's a mashup. Personally, I'm bladeful. Glast would be really good. Glast would save you a lot of time. You know what I mean? It's like if you didn't have to say grateful and blessed for all the times you're forced to say that, think of all the times you'd say it. I first fell in love with Chris Pratt when he was nice enough to do our little chat and giggle for, I believe it was Denny's, when Will and I were running a digital ad agency for about three seconds. Yeah.

-And we came up with some-- -Do you remember that? -With-- -I do. -With Kickner? -Yeah. -With Kickner. -Yeah. Were you on Parks and Rec at the time or before? I think you were, weren't you? I think it was Parks and Rec. Yeah, I think it might have been Parks and Rec or around then, yeah. Yeah, it was Parks and Rec. And what happened was, first of all, I fell in love with Pratt because when he first did that first season of Parks and Rec, and I started to watch the cuts of the show,

And Amy will back me up on this. I was watching the episodes and I was like,

who the fuck is this guy? This guy is fucking hilarious. He played Andy. He was Rashida's boyfriend. He had a broken leg. He was a good-for-nothing dude, like, stuck at home making her do shit for him. And she was like, oh, God, dating this loser guy. And he was so funny, so effortlessly funny. I was like, this guy's fucking it. And Will doesn't give it up for a lot, Chris. That's high praise. I don't know. Well, he knows. He knows how much I love him. And then Pratt did one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I saw him.

on Conan years ago, early on. You probably don't remember this. And you go, you get up at one point, you're talking to Conan, and then you stood up, and you start to take your jacket off, and Conan goes, what are you doing? And you go, I'm hot. And you just took your jacket off. And nobody ever does that on a talk show. Yeah, nobody's that relaxed. I thought you were going to say that he just collapsed on the ground, and then he said, what are you doing? And you said, I just did a pratfall. That would have killed. Yeah.

For me, it was funnier that he just took his jacket off and then he was relaxed and I thought, this son of a gun. It's a different beat. Chris, why are you so relaxed on those shows? Yeah, why are you so relaxed?

What's the name of the pharmaceutical that you're... Do you shoot at the back of your knee or is it just a tablet? I heard someone today was talking about that they were like... I asked someone, I said, do you get nervous before you go through this? And someone had mentioned...

Oh, I'd take a-- What did they say? There was some pill that they took. There was like, "I take this." -A Klonopin? -Yeah, it was like a-- I don't know if there was like a name. -Beta blocker? Like a beta blocker? -A blocker, a blocker. -A beta blocker, yeah. -A beta blocker. Look at the acting skills on Chris. He just-- He seems like he's never heard of these things, you know? -It's like, what's the-- -I take-- -A beta blocker? -Yeah, dude, Chris, by the way, that's the real thing, is I take a beta blocker every time I'm around Bateman, and then I can't hear him. It blocks him out, 'cause, yeah, it blocks out all the betas.

A bait and blocker. Yeah, that's what she... He's calling me a beta, and it's not a bait and thing, Sean. It's even more horrific. But, like, so I don't feel... Like, I've never had... I don't know. I think I have natural beta blockers in my... What do you get nervous about? Golf. I know you're a great golfer, so probably not that. Golf? No. I'm a complete head case in golf. Really? Really? Yeah. It messes my whole game up. I can't just go and... You know, some of those guys are like...

I, cause the thing is I'm not as good at golf as I am at like going on a talk show. You know what I mean? If I was as good at golf as I was, I could just sit down at a talk show and shooting the shit and making people laugh. Well, how, what, what kind of golfer are you?

Mid-80s, mid-90s? I'm like a 14. Yeah, there you go. That's great. It's not great. It should be better. For the amount of time and effort I put in, I can't tell you how many times I'll be on the golf course and I'll legit go, you know what? Fucking fuck this fucking game. I quit. What am I doing? What am I doing? I've spent all my time doing this and this is only how good I am? Why? I could have written a book. I could have gotten a degree. I could have done anything with my fucking life. And then I get a good shot. I'm like, yeah, baby.

Yeah, baby. So that's like the emotional roller coaster. Chris, I'll tell you what, though. One time, a couple months ago, we were playing golf. Jason and I were playing golf. And we saw a couple guys at the place we were playing. It was before the Genesis. Yeah. And we saw a couple pros playing. And I was having a bad day.

And these guys, we saw a DJ and a couple of guys having a practice round. And Jason points up to them. They're on a different hole. And he says to me, just to give me perspective because I was in a bad place, and he goes, they can't do what you do. And I went, oh, yeah. You're a professional at something completely different. Yeah.

They're an amateur at what you're a pro at. And I was like, okay. And it put it in perspective. And Jason, hats off. It made the rest of my day quite pleasant. So thank you. That's nice. You helped my experience. I love you so much. When I give to you and you give back to me, I love it. That's pretty cool. Jason usually tells me I can't do anything. You're an amateur at everything. Now get in the car. And now, a word from our sponsor. And now, back to the show.

Pratt, let me ask you this. I've never known... I know that before Parks and Rec, you were doing a sort of a show. You were doing a much more serious show. What was the name of the show you did before for a couple years? I did a TV show. Well, it was like a teen drama. It was called Everwood. It was on the WB. Everwood.

So not a comedy. One of my early claims to fame was that Sean Hayes made an Everwood joke on Will and Grace, and we all thought that we made it. He was like, I'm going to stay at home and have Everwood with my date or something like that. Like that was the joke, was like Everwood, like an everlasting boner or something. I think you had an Everwood watching Jurassic the other day, right? Is that true? Wow. Do you, I love the sound effects. So Chris, but that show, not a comedy.

Right. What was the first... I mean, God, I know you've gone on, you've done lots of different stuff and you've done action, you've done stuff that's more intense or whatever. But for me, I feel like you've got such a comedic heart, which I love. It's so rare. Like in my little intro, I really mean that. Like good looks with comedy is so rare. Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. This is really fun. I can't tell who you're looking at on the Zoom. I'm sorry. I can't see who you are. I was looking in the mirror just off the side. Okay.

I have a mirror set up in my... You forgot you were doing the show. Now, Chris, I know you're too humble to really address this question, but if you were to concede that you are affable and good-looking and approachable and an everyman, would you blame that on your dad, your mom? You got a brother who's like that? Where'd you get it from? Yeah, where'd you get it? I think, you know, growing up with my family, just...

We were talking about this, Will, when we were down in Atlanta together. The love language is just...

legit burns, you know, cutting each other up, like insult, love, you know what I mean? Where you kind of just say, listen, gloves are off, I will absolutely allow you to say anything you want to try to cut me down and I'll appreciate what you do for its humor and, you know, like no one gets their feelings hurt and always has their feelings hurt a little bit. You know what I mean? Exactly. Exactly.

It thickens your skin. You're just not allowed to take yourself too seriously. I think that's it. I think it's like, you know, appreciating comedy and just getting the piss taken out of you. Right, but for people who don't know, and I think Will was kind of hinting at this, is like, I'm sure you're sick of talking about this, but you worked at Bubba Gump Shrimp in Maui while you were homeless, which is like blows my mind. Wait, that's news to me. Me too. How did you end up in Maui? Well, after I didn't go to college, and, you know...

I did like a semester of community college that I was like paying for myself and just hated it. In shrimp? No, no, no. This is before the shrimp. Oh, okay. Because, you know, I graduated. I was young. I was 17 when I graduated. I had done sports through school, so I never did any plays. However, I was always emceeing, writing, and kind of producing our assemblies at school. Following in my brother's footsteps, he had done the same thing. So I really loved the showmanship and doing these song and dance numbers and like,

comedy sketches in front of the school and stuff, really kind of scoring with that stuff. I did stand-up comedy right after high school. I did a community play right after high school. I started doing several plays at this local theater. So I knew I had the bug that I wanted to be a performer, but it seemed outrageous to me.

I became a door-to-door salesman. And I did that job for about, probably a little over a year, maybe a year and a half. Wow. How old? And I was, you know, from the time I was 18 to about almost 20. What were you selling? I was selling these coupons. So like businesses in the service industry, such as a Meineke or a Midas or maybe like even a Salon would put together this like package of like, you know, bring your car in, you'd get oil changes,

Four oil changes for $20 was the deal, but really we would sell it to a person and they would take their car and get free oil changes, but really the mechanic would try to upsell them on a break job or something like that. So it was like this... It was a coupon kind of a thing. It was criminal in nature, basically. No, you just sold me. It was slightly criminal. A little bit of a pyramid scheme. Good. It was kind of, yeah. It was like these multi-level marketing things were like... First of all...

Zero critical thinking skills were ever taught to anyone in my household. My mom was a checker at Safeway for 29 years. She'd literally believe anything anyone told her through her lines. She's still that way, sweet, bless her heart. And so I answered and added in the paper for this door-to-door sales thing that said, do you like rock and roll music? Do you want to make money? And I was like, oh my God, I think this might be it. I think this might be it. I love both of those things. And so for a year, I did this door-to-door sales job. And after I...

Opened my own office in Colorado. I climbed to the top. I got all the sales awards and won a free trip to Jamaica. I did very well at this job. But then I got totally burnt out and learned that my management skills were terrible. I was just really good at selling shit. And so when I tried to open my own office and I put the same ad in the paper, it turned out only ding-dongs would answer. And the guy's like, I like that. I was like, cool, let's go. Let's get excited. And they're like, I don't really – I forgot my shoes or whatever. Why is there –

It's like scraping the bottom of the unemployment barrel. Wait, what were the two questions? Do you like rock and roll and like to have fun or like to make money? Do you like rock and roll music? Do you want to make money? I mean, that's going to solicit some real questionable thoughts. In hindsight, it wasn't the best ad, but I was the guy who answered that ad, so I thought that's effective. There's probably a bunch of like... It netted me. Yeah.

scooped you right up. It reminds me of that line, remember in Idiocracy when the guy says to Dax, I like money, he goes, I like money too. I mean, what it really does is the true brilliance in it is it filters out people who are too critical, critical thinkers, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's brilliant. If you're dumb enough to answer that ad, then you might get pulled into this multi-level marketing thing. There's a stroke of evil genius to it.

it. So, so Colorado didn't work out. How do you get to Maui? That's what, yeah. So I had to give that backstory to say that I, my mom had to fly me home from Colorado. I had like a, a

thousand or $1,500 cell phone bill debt. And I just went back to my hometown where I like, this is Maui. You grew up in Maui. No, no, no. I grew up in a town called Lake Stevens, Washington state, but a good friend of mine since high school had been living in Maui and he saw me and he was like, dude, what happened? I heard you were like a big, big, big sales in a sales company or something. I was like, yeah,

And he said, listen, man, I'm going to buy you a one-way ticket to Maui. I've been living there since high school. It's awesome. We sleep on the beach. It's super fun. If you like to make money, you like to fly to Maui. And so he paid for my ticket out there, and then I just basically moved there. And so I had no money, but I showed up and hung out with a bunch of friends and got a job at Bubblegum Shrimp Company and –

lived in a like on a on the beach and it's like sort of people say homeless and you kind of like living in la there's homeless people everywhere it's like destitute people we were just a bunch of kids living camping on the beach for you know because you could yeah yeah and then and then how did where did the acting bug and the trip to la come from and and well i always had that acting bug from having performed in school and having done plays and i was doing stand-up comedy while i was doing the uh sales thing because that office was in seattle so i was performing at some like

open mic nights and things like that. Like, you know, entry level. I did a college tour thing at the University of Washington and stuff doing stand-up comedy. And so I had the bug and I just, I waited on a director and the director saw me and was like, hey, you're cute. Do you act? And I was like, yeah, I totally act. You should put me in a movie. And the audition came and I auditioned for a movie and the movie was, you know, I got paid 700 bucks. It was shot over 10 days. It was like this one of these SAG signatory movies

type of films. And I remember auditioning and I worked so hard on this material. And I just remember halfway through, the director said, you know what? You're pretty good. We're going to use you. And I'm like, wow, I think I got this part that's great. I said, where does it film? Is it on this side of the island? Is it the other side? He said, oh, no, it films in LA. And in my mind, I'm like, whoa, I've got...

maybe 60 bucks to my name. I can't go to L.A. Plus you've got barbecue shrimp, grilled shrimp, grilled shrimp, mustard shrimp, boiled shrimp, fried shrimp, sour shrimp, sour shrimp, barbecue shrimp, sour shrimp. So dumb. But you met this Hollywood titan at a table for one at Bubba Shrimp? Yes. This, okay. Yeah, the director and her producing partner

We're getting ready to shoot this movie. And it was like a, you know, I auditioned and then I said, I can't go to L.A. I don't have any money to get to L.A. And she said, sweetie, we'll fly you there. And that was it. And I never went back. No way. Had you ever been to L.A.?

Never. Oh, well, the only time I'd been to L.A. was on a door-to-door sales road trip where I came down to sell some stuff because they had an L.A. office. So they had sent me down to sell in some areas. Like I sold in Oxnard and I was on like up and down Santa Monica Boulevard and West Hollywood and stuff. But that's so interesting because I picture like you in Maui or anybody who wants to be an actor, I think the last place to find work is Maui. It is. It's so crazy. Yeah.

Yeah, it wasn't one of these things that I was really looking for. I was just having a good time with my friends and enjoying my life and had that opportunity not present, like literally shaking the tree and knocked me out of the tree and grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to L.A. I don't know that I ever would have had an opportunity to pursue what was a dream of mine. Yeah, that's wild. That's great. You're going door to door.

You're talking about like Santa Monica Boulevard just going door-to-door. Yeah, business-to-business. We would always sell to people. Oh, business-to-business. Yeah, yeah, so B2B, but are you... Hang on, it's not B2B, Will. Jason, you're not in the thing. You're not in the game with us. You're not in the game. Tap me in, though. I'm going to correct you on the B2B stuff. No, you're not in the game. That's not a phrase. No, Chris and I, we're going... Do you think we have time to go business-to-business? No, because we're going B2B. We're going B2B every second. So you're going B2B...

I'm with you. But you must have had crazy encounters. Were you going cold calling?

Yeah, I had crazy encounters. You did? It was terrible. I mean, yeah, terrible. It's funny now to hear actors talk about rejection. You know, they're like, dude, it's so hard. I'm like, mother, you were invited to the place where you got rejected. Like, I'm sneaking through people's yards and trying to climb in their windows just to talk to someone who I'm walking right past a no soliciting sign to solicit. A shotgun blast could come right through that door. I had people try to stick their dogs on me. I had like...

I,

I had my crew, people that I hired on my crew, you know, the elite sales force that answered the ding-dong ad. The other folks that love the rock and roll and money? They would go in and rob places and stuff. Wait, really? Yeah. I had hired up in Seattle on my crew, I hired a guy who was like a violent felon, a convicted two-time violent felon on house arrest. And we were like, hey, listen, this guy's great. We really like him. They're like, he needs to be under supervision all the time. I was like, he absolutely will be. And they're like, hey, buddy, this is your street. We'll pick him at 5 o'clock.

No way. That's so nuts. No way. Yeah, for real. And that guy, Audie, his name was Audie. He was very sweet. He was actually an amazing guy, and he was really a special guy. It sounds way worse than it was. He actually was a really great guy who needed a break and was a really solid dude. I think he actually ended up back in prison, but he had some really crazy stories.

And I was like his manager. I was 18 years old, he was 42. And he's like, and it was just a wild, it was a wild experience. - Dude, dude, you kind of grow up fast in that kind of thing, don't you? You learn a lot about like, ooh, avoid this. Ooh, that's wrong. Ooh, I should go over here, right?

It's a great preparation for being an actor, I'll tell you that. For the longest time, I was great at auditioning and I couldn't act my way out of a paper bag. They'd get on set and they're like, what happened to the actor who came into the thing? I was like, oh, that wasn't an actor. That was a door-to-door salesman. I walked into a room and I won the role, but I didn't know what the F I was doing. I didn't know how to act, you know what I mean?

So starting with those kinds of humble beginnings and really no huge expectations or goals or plans or... Right. Obviously, you know, things are incredible now. Certainly, it...

in comparison to that. But even if you had come out with a bunch of ambition and confidence and plans, it still would be incredible right now. So my question is where, where does your current ambition sit? Are you still looking at it through the perspective of the guy living on a beach in Maui? And if so, you're probably all good and ready to retire at any moment or has, have you morphed into somebody that is like, well, no, I'm just halfway done and I want to go to place X. Yeah.

Inevitably, I have changed. I've grown a lot just because I grew up in a pretty small town and I've just been exposed to a lot more in my life now. So I'm still ambitious, but I see people similar in, I guess, peers of mine who are prolific actors and stars of movies and brands and icons. And I don't want that. I don't think I want to...

I don't want to spend all of my time trying to build like an empire or something. Because you see some folks that are really driven in that way and that's great for them. But for me, I really feel like I want to work to live. Yeah. I get that. You get that from you. Like anytime I see you or either in...

on TV or in person at a dinner that we have or whatever, I get that from you. Your life is very, very full. Everything is gravy. That's the sense I always get. I relate to that too. Yeah, you're good about that, Willie. Barbecue shrimp and boiled shrimp and creole shrimp. See, this is going to be a nice stitch for the shrimp we're going to make. Sean knows what I'm doing.

What about, um, what, tell us about the parts of your life that we might not know as much about to the extent you're comfortable. Um, you know, you say you work to live. What, what are some of those things in your life that work affords you the opportunity to do? And I'm, I'm speaking obviously not about finances, but just your, your, your personal life, your time, family, stuff like that. Because you do work a lot. Like you're always working.

It's the truth. It's the truth. I have been working a lot. I mean, I love, I have a farm. I'm really passionate about a farm. I have a ranch and I, up in Washington State and we raise animals and that's a big passion of mine. What's your favorite thing to do on the farm?

Just to be there. Just to be there and to be kind of like... Shoot movies. Mads of Usage. Just shoot movies. Yeah, yeah. I'm doing a reality show. But is there a tractor you like to drive? Do you ride horses? Do you milk cows? We don't have horses. We have goats and sheep. There's a lake there. I love to fish. I'm a huge bass fisherman. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. They say that if you want to know where you're...

heart is where does your mind go when it wanders and and for me i'm just on my eyes are closed and i'm just fishing this lake and i like wow it to me it's like a it's a 22 acre lake and it's like an aquarium to me like i've put in all these fish and i've removed weeds and i'm constantly in my mind thinking about this lake and and the type we just put a new type of uh

hybrid bass in there called a wiper, which is like a whitefish and striper hybrid, which is a really extraordinary fish. So obviously you're catching these fish and releasing them back in. Yeah, catching and releasing fish. And I'm going up there this summer with... We have a baby that's due, and after the baby's born, I'm taking my nine-year-old son, Jack, and we're going to go up there and camp for 10 days. It's literally... That's so cool. It dominates a huge portion of my mind when I'm like... When it's wandering. I'm just fishing with Jack up there. And I'm going to show him these 10 movies. I've got like...

10 days, 10 movies, and it's going to be like the coming of age summer. Oh, like what? Like what kind of movies? Yeah, what's on the list? I've got the list. I mean, they're pretty funny movies. Like, I'll tell you right now. Imagine if they were all Jason Bateman movies. That would be so weird. Oh, Office, Christmas Party. Was it all my movies? Your own movies. You're doing it wrong.

I got, okay, Rambo First Blood. Sure. Sure. Oh, by the way, that's from that area. This is just you and Jack gonna watch these? Yes. Okay, great.

Dumb and Dumber. Sure. White Fang. Okay. What's that? I don't know. White Fang. I think it's based on a Jack London book. Gotcha. I think it may have Ethan Hawke when he was younger. Yeah. Sure, sure. Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Yes. Rudy. Best. Toy Soldiers. Never saw it. What's that? Oh, yeah.

It's like Sean Astin when they were very young and their school gets taken over by terrorists and they go crazy and kill the terrorists. Like a Red Dawn type of thing. Yeah, it's like that. Red Dawn. Is Red Dawn on the list? Yeah, it's on the list. What about Taps? You got Taps on there? Oh, Taps. That's great. I'm adding it to the list. Come on, Chris. We've got Bloodsport and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. And Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Those are the ones. Yes. And we will be right back. All right, back to the show. I, um...

I was thinking about... Take your time.

I really just drifted off there. Oh, granddad. I can pick it up for you if you want. Just lay down. Lay down. Just pull the microphone down to the floor. There are some cool things that, Chris, I didn't know until I read this about you. First of all, I think it's always fascinating for people to hear when you audition for something you didn't get or whatever. We all have our stories. But I didn't know you auditioned for Captain Kirk and the lead in Avatar, both movies. Jesus, you get great auditions. And did you come close to getting them?

No, I didn't come close. In fact, it was a real, I know I've, you know, made light of actors feeling rejection or whatever, but I didn't come close. In fact, I came, it was so not close that I, it was really demoralizing and made me actually truly question what

my potential or what I should be aiming for as an actor, you know? For which one? For both of those? For both of those. I remember that the role was written like, he comes in. It was like maybe the Avatar. Were you reading for one of the Avatars?

I was reading to place the role in Avatar as one of them. And then another one I was reading for Captain Kirk. And then another one I was reading for something that J.J. Abrams did. Star Trek, maybe. Star Trek. Maybe that was the Captain Kirk. Anyways, I just remember reading this character description. It was like, he walks in and he has the it fact.

It is just the it factor with this guy, you know? And so I was like feeling a little like maybe overweight. I hadn't been taking great care of myself physically. I was like in a relationship where we were kind of drinking a lot and I was just sort of like, you know, I walked in and I, I started sweating immediately and it was a casting assistant and she just looked at me and she just looked down and she just pressed record and it's like,

started doing her stuff while I was reading with the other casting assistant. And I saw that there was literally nothing about my audition that was compelling her whatsoever. Isn't that wild? It was like, fuck, this is, what am I doing? And I had enough of those in that stretch of, a very lean stretch in my career, by the way, that I didn't get hired for a couple of years. It was shortly before Parks and Rec. And then that's when I kind of,

I just regaged like, cause early on in my, early in my twenties, I wasn't, I was in pretty good shape. I was, I was working out a lot. I was training. I was young and I felt like potentially I could, you know, I was mostly getting those roles, the auditions for like,

douchebag boyfriend, you know, the guy would be like, "Hey, my dad's got his Escalade outside, you fucking dumb bitch," or whatever the line was. - Escalade. - Spent two weeks figuring out how to do that line. - I never got any, I never read for any douchebag parts. - Interesting, really? - Yeah, it's weird. - That is so surprising to me. - I know, I know. - Really, really, really surprising. - I've actually never seen anybody more surprised at something than you at that statement.

Anyways, yeah. So I auditioned for those things and I knew in the moment that I... First of all, I wasn't prepared. Like I hadn't done the work that I needed to do physically to be the guy who walks into the room and kind of commands attention. And so that was when I kind of got Andy and I was like, wait a minute, there's something a little bit maybe more compelling about the clown, you know, that I could play. I can put this clown... I remember after the first season...

I noticed I was self-conscious. Like, I feel like I'm getting a little chunky. And then I saw the stuff I was doing. I was like, this is actually really funny. And so I told Mike Schur, I was like, I'm going to gain a bunch of weight this summer. He's like, all right, dude, sounds good. Yeah.

Mike Schur is a showrunner. Yeah, Mike Schur is a showrunner. And so Andy kind of got fatter and fatter as the seasons went on. By the way, shout out to Mike Schur. Real quick. Yeah, Mike Schur is one of the all-time funniest guys. One of the good guys. One of the greats. And we knew him back when he was... He used to be head writer of Update. And we...

That's on Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live. We can update. Jason, remember how close we came to that one May where we almost got him to come in right on the second season of Arrested Development? And then he was stolen by Greg Daniels. And it was just, there was a moment, he was like, is it going to happen, yes or no? And I don't want to blame it on Mitch, but it was Mitch Hurwitz's fault that he didn't.

And Mitch knows this. But thank God. But thank God, because then he went on to The Office, and then he went on and did Parks and Rec, and then he did The Good Place and Brooklyn Nine-Nine and all these other great shows with the great Dan Gore. Chris, did anybody ever tell... I always thought you could be the next Indiana Jones. Did anybody approach you about that? Why aren't you doing that? Come on, Chris. Well, a lot of what Colin Trevorrow did with the Owen character that I play...

Colin's the director of Jurassic World Dominion. He's the director of Jurassic World. But the Owen character that he created, that he did with me...

A lot of that, you know, obviously Steven Spielberg did Jurassic Park, and so Colin was, like, creating this ode to the work that Steven had done, and I think borrows a lot of, you know, the physicality of, like, Indiana Jones, and I think that's likely why. And the humor, yeah. Like, you know, with vests and the humors and the one-liners and the kind of, like, even the dynamic between my relationship between...

my character and Bryce Dallas Howard's character in the first Jurassic World. It feels a little similar to some of that stuff. So it was kind of an ode, in a way, to Indiana Jones. So what's the guy Colin like? Is he a nice guy? American guy? Yeah, American guy. Great guy. Really nice guy. Super talented. And just...

incredibly dedicated. I mean, I watch him work and that part of me, that small little flame in the back of my mind is like, you know what, maybe I ought to direct. It's like, oh, I couldn't do that. No way I could do what he does. He's so thoughtful. It's a special skill. He listens to every single person, truly takes in their input, considers it, makes sure that everyone feels really good. He has that perfect ability to

you know, not meddle with somebody. 'Cause actors are all so different and each so sensitive. You have to actually have a separate skill set of like understanding which technique you're going to use to get what you need from somebody. Well, I was gonna say, so Chris, that's why I was asking, is these directors who do that and the ones who are really successful have that ability to wear so many different hats, to listen to so many people, to really collaborate. And it always makes me-- When I see them do that and be so good, I always think like, "How the fuck does Bateman direct?"

You know what I mean? Because he doesn't possess any of that shit. He's not listening to anybody at all. I don't waste a lot of time. All he's thinking about, how the fuck can I get out of there? And why the fuck are you talking to me? That's the look on his face. I'm trying to shorten the question. Who the fuck told you to step to me? I'm trying to get the fuck out of here.

Hey, unless you're coming to tell me that my Tesla is fully charged, I don't want to fucking hear from you. Well, that's not fair. Before we let you go, I wanted you to tell me a little bit about... Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got somewhere to go, Sean? Yeah. Hold on.

I want you to tell me about The Terminal List because it's a show coming out on Amazon that you're starting. I mean, my God, like you have 85,000 things going on. What is The Terminal List about? And I'm sure I'm on it. I'm so pumped about it. Can we guess? Can we guess what it's about? Okay. Okay.

Okay. I thought I saw a promo for you. I'm going to go, is Pat doing a fucking show, like a limited series or some shit? Yeah. So we're in an airport, okay? And you are the person who's in charge of the... Well, no, no. Please stop him. So it's the standby, the people who have checked in too late and they get put on the standby list. So you are the guy in the terminal with the list making people's plane dreams come true. This goes to show you how long ago it was that Jason flew commercial. Yeah.

Is that the way it works? It sounds like a great chart. I'm going to tell you what. It's not that. Okay. But I could see why Amazon would pass on that idea. Whoa, but okay. Don't steal my idea. Wait, what is it? So it's based on a New York Times bestselling novel by an author named Jack Carr. Jack Carr is a former Navy SEAL. And my...

My buddy Jared, when I did it, I did a film called Zero Dark Thirty. Sure you did. Fantastic. Not a bad film there. Yeah, that was a good one. And, you know, I play a SEAL Team Six member, and in the process of doing that, I got to go down to Coronado and meet...

the SEALs down there and meet some guys who are training the BUDS program down there. That's their training center in Southern California, right? Yeah, right. That's the BUDS training program. It's like, you know, everyone sees carrying the logs on the beach and all that tough Navy SEAL training is done down there in Coronado. You don't need to tell me, dude. Yep.

You don't need to tell me that shit. Keep going. Tell everybody else. And so I met a guy down there who I ended up kind of shadowing for the character that I was playing, and he, to this day, is now like my best friend. Oh, that's great. He's a solid-as-they-come, awesome guy, and we've worked together. He was considering going on to Team 6 at that point, but also had always really...

had a calling to do acting and to be in Hollywood. And so like our paths crossed, we just really had a lot in common. We were both fishermen. We both like to hunt and get outdoors. And I just really love this guy. You know, just as solid as they come, truly one of my very best friends. And so he knows Jack and

And he read this book and he goes, hey, check out this book. My friend wrote this book. You might want to make it a movie. And so I read the book and I optioned the book. And at the same time, Antoine Fuqua, the director, Antoine Fuqua, he directed Training Day. He directed me in this film, The Magnificent Seven with Denzel Washington. And Antoine was like,

I heard that Antoine was also circling this book, trying to get the rights to it. And I was like, hey, I just called him on the side. I was like, dude, instead of us bidding against each other on this book, let me get the rights and I'll just have you direct it. And he said, fantastic. So we did that. And then in reading it, realized that it was probably better suited for a limited series because it's a story of a guy who, you know, it's...

The book itself is like a political thriller, but we made it more of a psychological thriller with a conspiracy element. And so it's like a little bit feels at moments like Jacob's Ladder and has this sort of revenge conspiracy thriller. Also, this psychological thriller aspect to it. And it's eight episodes on Amazon Prime. It's going to come out July 1st. It's fantastic.

I'm so proud of it. It's totally different than anything I've ever done. I'm really pumped about it. It's like gnarly. And we hired so... My friend Jared, who was a producer, got me the book, was a producer on it and plays a role in it. And we hired a whole bunch of people both in front of the camera and behind the camera who were former SEALs and spec ops. So like... That's great. We're really nailing down the authenticity of the... That's awesome that you do that. I love that. You know what I also love? I heard you recently talk about...

like you're always inclusive. You're always trying to get everybody, you know, together. I love it. It's so, you can feel that from you. And you got some guy to be in Jurassic Park, like eaten first. Like, what was that story? Something about like some, you had a contest. You didn't even ask the studio. You're like, hey, right. Something like that. Well, yeah, this, you know, we, we shot Jurassic World Dominion. We started filming in January when the pandemic hit the States in February. So yeah.

Yeah, you guys were first, right? Weren't you over in England? Yeah, we were first. We got shut down for a few months while they were sort of developing COVID protocols and everyone was hunkered down figuring out, you know, two weeks to flatten the curve or whatever it was at the time. And we went back to work and, you know, our...

amazing producers on. And Universal, Peter Kramer was, you guys drafted up all the sort of back to work protocols from that film. Was that our buddy Frank? Was that our buddy Frank Marshall there? Yeah, Frank, Pat Crowley, yeah, Frank was on board, but Pat Crowley and Alex Derbyshire were like, I mean, I literally can't imagine how anybody could handle that job

as well as they did. But yeah, they came up with all these protocols. And I mean, if there's any industry that's going to be able to take on proceeding through a global pandemic, it really is our industry. I think the film and television industry, like we do...

insane shit. We climb fucking mountains. We build, we do incredible shit. And it's this sort of, this really hyper vigilant chain of command. We just created a whole, you know, department. It's the COVID department. So everyone's getting tested. Everyone's doing contact tracing. You know, it's like all these protocols where people are going to stand and the masks and the shields and all this stuff. And people are,

You know, enforcing the rules, which was a terrible job for anyone to have to do to be like, hey, you're not six feet apart. That gets you really old. By the way, that sounds like a great title of a movie for your father-in-law to do. We should put Contact Tracing. Oh, my God. Does that sound like a good Arnold movie? Do you want to let this out before we?

Dude, this, I will not. Listen, you put him in an airport with a standby list and I'm happy to come on board. Dude, nobody's going to the fucking airport with a standby list. Standby list is not, I hate to say it, but they're right. It's a comedy drama. It's not good. It plays overseas. You're off the list.

I'd love to watch that. I love that guy. But you had this fake contest or something? Yeah, we had a fake contest. So, you know, at the time we were trying to raise money for Feeding America, there was this thing called the All In Challenge, and a whole bunch of people contributed various auction items. It raised $60 million or something like that, $59 million. And our contest item that we raised was an opportunity to be eaten by a dinosaur in Jurassic World. Yeah.

And so everyone entered for $10. You'd get a chance to enter. And this dude named Terry Thompson from Missouri has an amazing death scene in our film. He won the contest, and we shot him on a green screen. It's so cool. So let me ask you about that just as a fan of those movies. When a guy gets snatched up by a dinosaur, pulled up like that classic bit where he ripped up off the ground and shoot, is that...

Is any portion of that where the person, I'm imagining the person that won this contest, got hooked up to a harness and gets snatched up in the air, and then it becomes digital at some point? That's typically what you'll do, yeah. Typically, you're going to do something like a full harness and have a stunt rigging crew pull a person up. Most of the time, it's going to be a trained stuntman. So I think, I'm not exactly sure what they did with Terry because he was in Missouri and we were in London, and we literally couldn't even fly our own family members out there. So they set up the whole green screen and did the whole thing. Wow.

Where he was. In Missouri. In Missouri. I think they shot him on a green screen just riding a scooter and then maybe did everything. And maybe did a scan on him, like one of those body scans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then did everything else. That's so cool to get. I'm not sure that they put him through the stunt stuff. To get people involved and to bring fans in and kind of bring them into it. And Sean and Scotty, you guys did that thing where you got people at that contest and they come over and eat a plate of Bugles with you and Scotty, right? Yeah. Wow.

Who can count how many Bugles in the bag and then eat them all? Just work your way through a bag of Bugles on Sean's couch. What was the name of it? You did not raise $60 million. The big mislead was whoever can guess how many Bugles are in the bag, they get to eat them. But the mislead was everybody got a box at the end anyway. Sure. Which cut into the profits because you guys only raised, what, a couple hundred dollars, I think. Was it in...

Yeah, we bought more bugles with him. Work your way through a bag of bugles. Chris Pratt, listen, it has been a pleasure. Thank you for being here. Thank you for wasting your time with us today. Sorry, Chris. Pratt, Pratt, you're the best. This is such a pleasure, you guys. I'm a huge fan of you guys' podcast. I love what you're doing. You're all so funny. Uh,

We'll pay it back to you on the golf course. Hey, listen, I also want to say you have earned, with all the stuff you've done with the Jurassic World Dominion and now your new series on Amazon, you have earned your 10 days with Jack. I'm so psyched to hear that you guys are going to do that. Have the best time. Have the best time. I want to come up there sometime. That sounds awesome. Oh, I'd love it. You would love it. Anytime. I would love to have you guys up. Anytime. And also...

Yeah, dude. We know where we're going. Yeah. Golfing? All right. Chris, thank you. Thanks, Chris. Thank you very much, buddy. It's a pleasure to be here. Keep up the good work. See you down the road. Great to have you. See you, pal. Bye, pal.

Sean, what happens? Does Bugles, do they send it to you? Was it their idea or you guys? Did you just reach out to a sponsor, any sort of chip, and then they bit? Cheetos. Chex Mix? People at Chex Mix never ever come back to you.

That's what I was trying to say. Oh, boy. The gang at Chex Mix. But your heart was in the right place. Yeah. Listen, we... Let's do... Sorry, go ahead, Sean. No, no, that's it. Go ahead. I was going to say that, you know, if anybody's out there from Bugles or Chex Mix or Cheez-Its...

Cheez-Its. That's what I was thinking of. Cheez-Its. And if you want to have... I actually love Cheez-Its. We're prepared to have ourselves. We can do like a taste test or something like that because these are the things that people really want to talk about. I love Cheez-Its. I like that. Let's get back to the incredibly unpleasant, nasty... Chris Pratt. Just negative. Oh, just...

How did we get through that hour? He's so naturally funny. You know what's so funny? When he kind of hit with Jurassic World and Guardians of the Galaxy and he became this huge international star, you look at him and you go, yeah, what took Hollywood so long? I mean, look at this guy. The second I saw him, I was like, that's like, like I said, Indiana Jones. He's a leading big blockbuster star. And he wears it well. He really is the same guy.

uh that he was 15 years ago yeah he's so grounded and normal um great guest sean nice going i've always been crazy about him and yeah will i mean uh that should have been yours i just uh i guess if you've been a better friend i saw him like a month ago when we were in atlanta and we spent the day and and uh

And I was like, I want to have you on, and great. And I called Michael, MGT, and everybody knew. But Sean was ahead of you with that request. Michael and Bennett and Rob and everybody was conspiring against me again. Arm-yerve. Robert Arm-yerve is proud to be part of our team. Sean, so now Jason kind of made a joke of it, but what are you going to do? Are you taking that shirt out?

Today I did. I did already. I did already. What are we doing? What's dinner? That's an evening outfit too. Dinner's going to be at home. Dinner's going to be at home. Look at it. What is it? Well, I had spaghetti, like I said, and tuna fish for lunch. Jesus Christ. Sorry, no, you didn't mention the spaghetti the first time. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I had a half a tuna and then like a plate of spaghetti. And then I had a little bit of cheesecake. Wait a second, together? Do you have tuna fish and spaghetti together? Yeah, you just take a glass of milk and you...

Do you have a big race tomorrow or something? Are you trying to get your carbs up? Yeah, I know. Are you going to be fasting? Are you going on a hunger strike? No, I'm not fasting. I'm fatting. Are your veins too clear? Is it there's too much blood flow? So you're doing this. You had spaghetti and tuna. How do you top it tonight? Yeah.

I gotta have a salad. I gotta do something healthy tonight. So what do you think it'll be? So it'll be a wedge with blue cheese. I think it'll probably be a salad. It'll be a salad, just like maybe a BLT salad. You mean a salad between bread. No, no, a BLT salad. Are you gonna go make it or are you gonna go pick it up? Yeah, I'm gonna go pick it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are?

Yeah, I got to eat something. Well, we can cut this, but we won't. But we could cut it. Where are you going to pick up the salad from? Jason, your lighting is fucking phenomenal. Like indie film much? So is it, does Chin Chin make a BLT salad? No, there's a restaurant near me that makes a BLT salad. I don't understand. How do they fry a salad? What?

How do they wrap a salad in one of those little dough pinches? They just dump on the letter. They just, like the same thing they use for the fries. And then they just, the basket, they scoop it up. Oh my God. You guys, I have one word to tell you. Ready? Bye. And that's it. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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