"Kristen Wiig"
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Hey, Will. Good morning. I'm very excited for today's episode. Good morning, Jason. It is great to be here with you. Hey, Will 2.0, where's Mr. Arnett? It's me, your friend Will, for many years. And I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,

I wish you all the best. I want you to speak to your master about trying to make your voice a little bit more realistic because it would be helpful like when he's late, like I guess today, we could actually use you on the podcast, but you sound a little mechanical. This is me, Will. I'm here to...

Jason. What happened? I was stuck inside the virtual me and it's just... Did you sleep with your window open last night? Can we just get down? Can we just start the old new SmartLess? Let's do it. Welcome to SmartLess. SmartLess. SmartLess. SmartLess.

Who are you playing with today? Don't worry about it. Hey, Sean. Hey, guys. What's going on? Are you in the game with Harry and those guys? I'm playing with some real respectable folks. That's why your inbox is empty. Who are you playing with today that's not me? Their names. You want their names? You don't know these guys. Well, we can bleep them out. Yeah, go ahead. First name, James. First name, Nick. And then guest of James. Who's James who?

You don't need to worry about it. To whom shall I be directing my anger? I don't think you've played with him, but he did invite me. Otherwise, I would have invited you. Okay. But let's play next week, please. Sean, you want to come play some golf with us next week? Oh, sure. You want to dork out with us out there? You got to wear one of these funny shirts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just came from the range. No, did you really? Yeah, I dropped off Abel, and then I just went and got a quick hour of work. Just working. Oh, working hard.

Does Archie, what, did you drop off Archie? Is he homeschooled now? Yes, I drop him off first at the bus and then Abel's last. It's right there. Does Archie ever get pissed off that Abel gets a door-to-door and Archie gets dropped at the RTD station?

He does not. What's RTD? Rapid Transit District. Isn't it RTD? Boy, that fell apart quick. Yeah. Well, guess what? Who here has ridden a public bus? I used to do it all the time. What are you talking about? Me? I don't need the face, Will. Just answer it. I used to ride it a lot going to work. You know that story. Oh, man. You know, the medal ceremony is coming up, so we'll have to jot that down.

Who's ridden the bus lately? By the way, for Jason, a bus is a Challenger 300. Anything below that he considers a bus. An air bus. Hey, have you guys ever ridden the subway here in Los Angeles, California? Never. I will not do it. No, I have not. Have you? I have.

It freaks me out too much. I'm a big subway guy, but not here. Why? Because of the earthquakes? I guess. I don't know. And also, it doesn't really go to areas. It goes from Hollywood to downtown. Wait, do they make a bigger drink than that? Or was that it? That's the max? It's the 30. Wait, why did you take a subway, Jay? I'm glad you asked. It was the best way for me to get to the start of the Los Angeles Marathon, Sean. When was that?

Don't, that sounds a lot of you're a fat bastard now. This was a good 10 years ago. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I don't need to take it because earthquakes happen underground and the subway is underground. So I don't need to go near that.

How much chafing did you have on the marathon? I'm glad you asked that too. You know what they have there if you run the marathon, any marathon I think, you will get some hot spots. You can just swipe some goo? Go ahead. Let's jump ahead in the story.

Fuck. Well, take it longer. Well, I'm setting it up. It's pretty good. You know what they have there. You know what they have there. Just get to the facts. I'm not Canadian. I'm not Canadian. You know what they have there. So they've got tables. They've got tables of water, tables of Gatorade, and they've got a cardboard wall that a person holds up with a big patty of Vaseline on it. And this patty is like the size of a...

I don't know, a large cake. And as you go by it, you're supposed to, yeah, as you said, we'll swipe with two fingers the goo and then start hitting your hotspots without ever breaking a stride. And you know where these hotspots are. And so if you come to the second Vaseline cake or third or fourth or fifth, you know those two fingers have already traveled

you know, at the last one. So it's just, it becomes progressively more disgusting, but you have to balance that against the pain. I mean, obviously, insert Joe Kier, Sean Mykonos, and swiping Vaseline. And I don't want to get into that. I'm just going to give you the bare bones of it. You know what I mean? I think there it's just buckets of olive oil, right? Yeah.

Wait, Will, have you ever ran a marathon? No. I've done a half marathon. That was rhetorical, Will. Sean, you? No. Again. I can't even. Not really. Yeah, you did do a half marathon, Willie? Yeah, I did. Yeah. My brother does that shit all the time. Sure he does. I've seen him in clothes. Yeah, he'll do a lot of like, you know, he'll be out for dinner and drinks and he'll be like, I'll be like, I'm tired. He's like, me too. He's like, I did a half marathon this morning.

This morning? What are you talking about? Yeah, he's one of those. I tell you what, running is decent, but if you think you're in shape, try swimming. -Swimming is the real test. -I can't swim. I can't swim at all. One time I was at this public pool with a friend of mine when I was a kid. -Keep it clean. -Okay. And I was in the deep end and he left me. And I panicked. "Wait, what's under me? This feels like a fish."

Sean, yeah, I know you can't swim, you know, because just recently he emptied his pool and filled it with Skittles. No. Yeah, he's like, fuck it, I love, I hate swimming and I love Skittles. Wait, you know what's so funny? I just had this image.

And I thought, that's not a bad idea. It's not. It does seem really satisfying, the slidiness of it to just jump in. And swimming with your mouth open through it. Sure, sure. I got to say...

Yeah, I could see you doing that. And also not blaming you and being like, you know what? It makes sense. I did panic once when I was with my friend when I was a kid, Tim. And he left me and it was like, it was a lake. It wasn't a pool. It was a lake. And there was like this...

this little floating dock that a lot of people could sit on. And so we swam out to it, but I didn't have enough breath or energy or, you know, whatever to swim back strength. Well, because one of your hands was holding a cheeseburger, so it's hard to swim with one.

And you were like, Tim, Tim. I was. Don't get my burger wet. You're getting the bun wet. I remember one time I was at Sean's house years ago. Sean, you remember when I was staying there up in your garage, above your garage. And I went to the pool a few times. You stayed at my house, too. What's the matter with you? Get a place. No. And those were early days, you know. And it was fun. That's when we used to all... Nobody had kids and I could just... Sean was like, come stay. I was like, great. How's a month sound? Yeah. It was great. It was. And...

I would go in and use the pool, and Sean, I remember you being like, nobody, you're the only person who's using this pool. Yeah. Ricky. Ricky jumps in there to wash his coat every once in a while, right? Yeah, for sure. Scotty's like, hey, let me introduce you to outside, Sean. Look at this pool. And I was like, I never go in it, ever. Wait, does Ricky go in the pool or no? No.

No, I want to try to get him to go in, but then he'd track all the water in the house. What is he, a retriever or a Labrador? He's a golden doodle. He's a golden retriever slash poodle. Once he gets in, he'll never get in. I know. That's why. They're great swimmers. All right, sorry. I'm hearing your inhale. All right. It doesn't sound like you're in a super patient mood, and that's unfortunate because, you know, I like to— You mean Sean?

No, no, you. I heard your deep breath. I got nowhere to be, as you know. I went to play golf today, but I wasn't invited. Go ahead, Jason. Well, total respect to our next guest. I know she would agree. This is a bit of a roll of the dice. For starters, English is not her first language or her second, actually. So ask your questions clearly and simply. I'm obviously speaking to myself here. This woman, it's fascinating. I'm telling you it's worth it. She was born in Brazil.

specifically in the Amazon basin. Incredibly, she did not have her first experience with electricity until she left the country on her 18th birthday. No way. Yeah. She attended SMU in Dallas, Texas while living with her host family, and she became one of the first foreign-born Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. She later found herself in New York City at Juilliard, no less. Wow.

parlaying her sideline dancing skills into an impressive string of featured parts in their world-famous ballet program. She has since returned to the lush canopy of her birthplace to help bring music and dance and ideas for renewable energy to this underdeveloped and often misunderstood region. Troy Aikman? Here to share her remarkable life thus far.

is the very shy, very nervous special guest with one of the most unique names you're ever going to hear. Please welcome Kristen, middle name, I'm not wearing, last name, Wig. What? Welcome. Look at this. Did you guys have any idea about her history? How did you know that? I don't talk about it. We do a lot of research. I mean, I was listening just like,

- What? - Yeah. - Wait, I'm sorry. I guess Jason has now gone on a morning gummy now too. - Yeah. No, no, it's still pretty high off last night. But-- - What the hell? - Kristen, what's the first thing you did when you discovered electricity? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I just turned it on and off. - Yeah, there she is. - Just turned things on, left them on.

That was talk about a wreck. You guys, I don't know what to say. Hi, guys. Hi. Hi. It's so good to see you. I'm so happy to see you guys, and I love your podcast, and I listen to it all the time. Thank you. What are your earrings? What are those earrings? Well, I know it's kind of hard to see because I didn't know. Super hard for the listener. But they're just these little pink little earrings.

- Magnets? - They look like-- - They're magnets. - She's always wearing magnets. - They look like prescription bottles or something. - Yes. - They're stuck to each other. - Yes, they are. - Well, welcome, welcome, welcome. Where do we find you today? Are we on the east? - I'm in Los Angeles. - Los Angeles. - I'm on the west coast. - Is that full time for you or do you still have a place in New York?

No, I don't have a place in New York. Do you wish you still had a place in New York? Yeah, I do. I do. You miss it. I do. I miss it. Yeah. What part? What parts? The city? What part do I miss? I just miss the, it's just such a different life. Your days are so different. Everything's different from, you know. And you're meeting people in various industries. Not just one. Yeah. I know. You're hanging out with doctors. Right. And. Oh, shit.

I hung out with so many doctors. I remember when you were in SNL, Wig's dressing room was always filled with doctors. Filled with doctors, and I would make them wear their scrubs because I was like, I want people to know. Um...

Oh my God. Free exams. Free exams on the Amazon. You did not, you did not, well, after, so after you left the Amazon, after Dallas, where did you spend most of your time growing up? Well, I lived in Lancaster, Pennsylvania when I was a very young girl. And then I, and then Rochester, New York.

Yeah, no, but what's the name of the place? Oh, here it is. Hang on. I got it here on my Wikipedia. Oh, where I was born? Canandaigua? Canandaigua. That's where I was born. Where's that? That's upstate New York. Yes, it's a Finger Lake. It's a Finger Lake. Yeah, it's a Finger Lake. Yes, well, I knew you would know that. Yes. Is that where they make finger sandwiches? Yes, and just fingers.

That's where all the prosthetic fingers are made. What? That's what my doctor friends told me when I was in New York. Major industry there. Thanks, everybody from that town. Wow. Rochester, New York, home of Xerox? Yes, and Kodak. And Kodak, yeah. Oh, gosh. So then going to the city to work was like, you grew up in New York, so there... It's a long way. Well, it was far. I only went to New York City one time.

But I mean, you were there. Like, it's not like you grew up on the West Coast and then all of a sudden, you know, started working like it wasn't a culture shock. She did find her way out to Los Angeles, Sean, where she. Oh, no. What does it say? I've never looked at Wikipedia. I got stuff highlighted here. Yeah. Well, we, you know, we went into the Groundlings program out there in Los Angeles, which

did we meet Annie Mumlow out there maybe? Yes, we did. We started our friendship with her there. Tell Tracy who Annie is. Kristen, please. Oh, she's my... Oh, okay, good. Because I was about to... She's my writing partner, good friend, my creative...

Wife, yes. You guys wrote Bridesmaids together. Yes, we did. That's true. And also. And other things. The trip, the two gals. Barb and Star go to Vista Dolls. There she is. Yep, yep. Very, very funny. Very good. All right. So we're out there in Los Angeles. We're at Groundlings. Yes. Now, we've had some of your colleagues on the show. Yes. And it seems like Groundlings is a bit of a feeder program for SNL. Is that fair? Yes.

Yeah, I mean, a lot of people have come from there, yeah. Is that where your SNL audition kind of came from, or was it after you left there? No, I was... I think I had just gotten into the main company when the audition happened. Oh.

And was that a fairly stress-free situation or was it? It was probably to this day the most nervous I've ever been in my life because I don't do stand-up. So being on stage by myself and like I never knew how to like go from one character to another. I'm like, do I do a spin? I did that by the way.

I did that, by the way, when I auditioned for MADtv a long time ago. I think I like spun in between. So you thought that was the reset on characters. Turn around and now I'm somebody new. Well, because I didn't want them to be confused. Oh, look who it is now. Hey, can you spin the other way to get the other character back? Oh, yeah, because I need to go back. Do you guys want to go back and see the other one? Yeah, you have to see...

So were they not clear about how to do the audition? It was like, you have five minutes. Please don't go over. I bought a stopwatch. Oh.

Wow. And I mean, because I literally thought like the lights were going to go down. And I remember being in my hotel in New York and just doing it and being like, 503, got to do it again. But then some people would do it for like 10 minutes and I'd be watching like, hey, what? What gifts? Well, they didn't follow you. Yeah. So you just do a series of your favorite characters? Yeah, they just say do characters and characters.

Any impressions you have? I auditioned twice, actually. Oh, really? I remember. Like, how many years were you in Groundlings before you got the audition for SNL? For the main company, months. Like, I...

I mean, I was in the school for like a long time. No, no, but I meant like how long were you a part of the Groundlings? Oh, a long time. Because some of the levels were like two years. Wait, uh-oh, are you going to yell at Sean? Sean's had a few incidents in the last one, one on stage in Chicago a few months ago and whatever where he just completely doesn't know where he is. So busy thinking about his next question, he doesn't hear the last answer. I get so excited. I get so excited. I know.

So a couple of months, only a couple months on the main show. I don't even know if it was how many. I just know it was my first main show. I'm really bad with time. I was going to say because when you first did The Target Lady on Saturday Night Live, which is one of my favorite things of all time. Thank you. I think that was that one of your first sketches when the first season, that first episode that you were on? Yeah.

It wasn't the first episode. It was my first season, and that was a sketch that I did at the Groundlings. Groundlings. Yeah, yeah. For some reason, when I was watching it on TV, I was like, this looks like one of those brilliant things you see at Groundlings, and now it's on SNL. It just looked like an easy transfer of like, oh, of course this is going to work on Saturday Night Live. I just thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Oh, thanks, Sean. Yeah. And we will be right back. And back to the show.

So we'll come back to the SNL stuff, but it clearly, it gave you such a great, well-deserved exposure and lift into what you have been doing, you know, over the last number of years. Um, incredibly, um, are you, what's your favorite part of this phase? Do you, do you, do you like that? It's sort of,

You get to go from job to job to job as opposed to one sort of, you know, place and family and group that you're with all year or... Oh, I mean, yeah, they all have their pluses and you can find the great things about the one that you're not in. You know what I mean? Like with SNL, like I...

I loved having that schedule and, I mean, not so much the hours, but just having that family, the routine, and just the solving of the puzzles between dress and air. I loved, loved that. And it's a part of my brain I feel like has atrophied since I've left. But it's what makes you such a great writer, I'll bet, yeah? Well, I definitely feel like improv is really...

writing really, especially when you have a partner that you have so much history with. But now like, yeah, there's more stability and I can,

you know, go to the dentist. Yeah, exactly. And you can have a personal life. You can have a personal life. And so that's nice too. So it's kind of like, you know, what you don't have, you miss, but I'm very happy right now. What's your favorite part about personal life now? Like, what do you, do you love doing nothing? Do you love traveling? Do you love, what at home is your favorite? What fills you out? Oh.

Wow, guys. No, this is, we're incredible journalists here. What makes you tick? What makes you tick? What makes you tick? What makes you tick? What gets you out of bed in the morning? Tell us about what makes you tick. What makes you tick? Well, I have two kids now. What? I know. So that gets me out of the- That's not anywhere on this Wikipedia page. You know what's so funny? Yes, but here's the thing. Wikipedia?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You've got two kids? Yeah. See, now, see, this is the thing I was going to say. I don't, like, I just found that out, like, I don't know, a few weeks ago. Is that on, because you're very strategic in the most,

respectful way about popping up here and popping up here. No, you don't do that. Like you're, it's very cool how you kind of keep that separate. And is that on purpose that you do that? Because I didn't know you had kids either. Uh, well, I have, I have twins. I have a boy and a girl, um, via surrogate. How old? And they are two and a half. Amazing. That's amazing. It's the best,

You know, everyone says it's the best, hardest. Oh, but this age. I mean, well, they are getting into like, you know, the no phase. Okay. So then would you, it sounds like you would be in agreement with me that a lot of stuff before too is, I'm not going to say it's garbage, but it ain't as good. I would never say it's garbage, but it's not as good as it is now. In comparison to now. It's a different. It's different. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to stand up here and just, Jason, he just wants somebody to ride shotgun with him in the car. He doesn't want to have to actually fucking do anything. Wait, wait, wait a second. Yes. Jason, first of all, sorry, let me just admonish Bateman. That's part of life, you dick. Yeah, they can hear this. They can hear this. I know. But, Wig, you have two, two and a half years. I didn't even know you were married. Yes. Well, it was like a quick COVID thing.

marriage. You got married on Zoom while you had COVID? No, it's not like he was on Zoom. We were together. That would be weird. You met him on Zoom and you've never met in person. And we've never met. No, but he is handsome. Now, is he a show busy? He does act, yes, and he writes and he's

amazing photographer and he's great. Oh, he's got it all, does he? Hang on a second. We'll decide that. I know there's a lot because if you didn't know I had kids, I feel like there's a lot to unpack here. There's a lot. You've been with Mr. Wonderful for how long? Yes. Six and a half years. Wow. So it's sticking. It's sticking well. That's amazing. Yeah, he's great. And

How is he as a dad? And we won't tell him what you say. He won't listen to this. He's incredible. He's amazing. I'm truly like... What do you think your blind spot might be? Me? Yeah, as a mother. What could you... Oh, as a mother. Like swaddling? I guess they're out of swaddles now. Swaddling?

Don't swaddle a two-year-old. He doesn't know anything. I try. I spent a lot of time out of the house. He's been out of the house for a long time. He's shooting or playing golf. I mean, you know, it's so embarrassing. I realized the other day somebody asked what my blind spot is. I said, blind spots.

Obviously. I mean, like, that's smart, you know? It's just the parts you can't see, I guess. Wait, Kristen, is there stuff that you used to do as a kid that your parents hated that you're, like, now seeing your kids do or anything like that? Like, you're trying to stop them from, like, oh, wait, don't. What they catch from you. Well, I mean, when they get older, I hope they're different because I think I gave my parents lots of mini heart attacks. Doing what?

Jumping off the roof? Yeah, I think after my parents got divorced when I was like nine and maybe that's... Where to go, guys? Nice going. Hold on, let me just... Dry it up. Just shun. Try to keep it together. We're doing a comedy. I know, right? You can cut

the divorce thing if you want this to stay like anyway yeah so you so you were a little bit of a challenge at nine I was but not terrible through high school I think I got in you know trouble a lot and stuff like that were there brothers and sisters I have a brother yes was he a problem uh no not really you were the youngest yes I was the youngest and I have

I had two steps and steps on my mom's side. This was in Chaco, Chaco, where was it? Yeah. Canada. But I'm going to say I was from Chaco. We have because now we did anything happen aside from the pain and tragedy of that divorce at nine that that that steered you towards. You got divorced at nine. Yeah.

Right when I discovered electricity. Was there something that steered you towards comedy? Were one of those parents of yours funny? My dad. Yeah? My dad is very funny. Tell us some of the funny stuff he would do, Kristen. Oh, well, I mean, he's just like in a desperate...

a dad way. He just like, you know, puns and like, he's just a funny, uh, I mean, I always knew he was funny. And then I would meet people that knew him when he was younger and everyone just always said, Oh, your dad, you know, such a funny guy. And, um, I'll bet he was pretty dry. Right. He's very dry. He's very dry. And he introduced me to like,

like Abbott and Costello and Martin and Lewis movies and like we would just watch those old he's a hundred and still with the 17 he introduced me this is Abbott this is Costello Costello he introduced me to them as people yes um alright alright so so then they're movies who's on Kristen where's on where's it who's on what so stupid nice to meet ya laughing

All right. So then, so then. So yeah, he's very funny. All right. So then you're out in the groundlings, you get SNL, you're there, you're in that incredible machine there and incredible success. And then you get spit out into this great career. Was there a big transition you had to make to what being on a set was like on, on a movie or, or on a television show versus what you were really used to on, on SNL? Like, do

Do you mind that sort of slower pace and that kind of vagabond living? And, you know, now that you've got kids and a husband, you know, can you travel as much? I don't like to. I mean, it's obviously necessary for certain jobs, but it's so hard. Yeah. So do they all go with you? They have gone with me. I haven't worked that much since they've been born, but I do look at...

my jobs differently. I'm like, where does it shoot and how long and can they go and will it be fun for them? Because I don't like being away. I know, right? We all need a nice multicam sitcom just down the street in Burbank. Yes, just down the street. What if you were like, I can't get away, I can't wait to get away from them. That's just the complete opposite.

Are you trying to do a Bateman right now? I am. Oh. I remember, Kristen, I remember when Bridesmaids came out that first weekend, I was in Atlanta shooting The Three Stooges. Hold for applause. Hold for applause. I go see Bridesmaids of Crested by myself and...

I emailed Kristen right when I got it. I was like, oh my God, it was so funny. She was like, and you emailed her, you're like, really? Thank you. Like it was so, nobody knew that it was going to become what it did. And then, but it was so cool to have seen it on opening weekend. I just thought, I thought it was so neat. Oh, thank you. It was such, so unsurprising that it was so good and that you were so good. I mean, you're. I mean, that's one of those movies that's when it's on the, when it's on the guide, you click it every single time. Thanks.

Every time. And I'm like, I laughed so hard. Well, because Annie always tells the story that we got a call after opening weekend just sort of like...

Holy shit. Sorry. No. Oh, really? It was like, yeah, it was like, sorry, because it didn't fully open. No, yeah. And we were like, well, we tried. Oh, no. No way. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We did not. Was there like a hurricane on the East Coast or some garbage like that? No, I think it just, I think it was just maybe word of mouth or something that people started seeing it later. But in the beginning, you just, you know how it is when you're just like, what's, it's not really like that now, but.

I was like, "What's that opening weekend?" Did you know Paul Feig before that? Paul Feig is the director. I did because I had two lines in the movie Unaccompanied Minors, which was my first movie, I think. Was it really? That was your first? -Yes. I think so. -Oh. Yes.

So on SNL, Kristen, guests, guests on SNL, they run the gamut, do they not? They do. How would you describe a great guest? And then how would you describe a not so great guest? Qualities. Someone who, I mean, it's kind of just the opposite, someone who really wants to be there. And sometimes people maybe feel like they have to or because they have like press or something. For the most part, people want to be there.

But I think just the people that are game and like, yes, let's do it. And where do you want me? And people that don't come in and try to just like produce everything themselves. Yeah. Are there other personalities that come in and be like, no, this is how I work. And that's probably...

counterproductive to how it runs. Yeah, and it's hard to go in and fully, you know, just be like, okay, I trust you. And be a guest as opposed to a host, right? But when you're a cast member, writer, it's just like your job is to take care of the host and like make them look good and support them, you know? I remember hearing hilarious stories. Amy would come back with like, you know, host stories like,

This person took off their shirt. I know who she's talking about. Came in with their shirt off. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Wait, as a bit or like not as a bit? Not as a bit. No, no, no, just out of comfort. I mean, you really do get to know people when they come on the show. Also because you don't get to see...

musicians, sports people, you don't get to see them nervous or out of their comfort zone. And to have someone like, is this okay? And you're just like, oh my God, you're a freaking legend. Are you kidding? Yeah. But it's so cool because they do, you see this- Vulnerability. It's like a transformation through, you know, Monday through Saturday. And they're just like, oh my God, like-

I just had to let go, you know? Did you ever have one of those moments where you go, holy shit, like where you kind of were in yourself and you were just feeling it and you were just, for the first time, you kind of go like, I can't believe I'm doing this scene with so-and-so and then it's going like that. Did you have? Every show for seven years. Yes. And I think that's like,

It truly is like the best job if you're going to do something like that and you're living in New York. And I feel like, and I always said like the moment, because you know how it is there. It's like a, it's a different culture and you're always, you never know what the show is going to be. You don't quite feel like settled. And I always said like the moment I feel comfortable here is like the moment that I'm

should leave. Yeah. So it was never lost on you, all these cool people that were coming through there and these musicians and... Because every week you'd be like, oh my God. I mean, Will, you know, you'd be there and like, you'd just be like, wait. Right. You'd come off from a sketch and Lauren's like, the Steven Spielberg is watching the show. I was like, hello. And then you're changing and you're just like, where? What is happening? What always struck me was on Wednesdays, especially on Wednesdays after read through, like going and meeting up with you guys or whatever and going for a drink and just...

how, it didn't matter how long you were there and it didn't matter if, you know, where you were in terms of seniority on the show too based on how long you'd been doing the show. Everybody, there was always that tension of like, fuck that thing. It didn't go great. It's not going to get picked or that thing didn't get picked and I'm kind of pissed off and I kind of like, I didn't have a great show last week. I wish this thing had gone this week. And it always struck me how it just never stops. It never goes away. No matter who you are. Yeah.

Yeah. Which is probably good, right? It keeps you working hard. You never take anything for granted, right? There's like a healthy competition there.

Well, I don't even know if like we didn't really have like a super competitive group when I was there. But it was really I mean, baked into it is only the best sketches make it that week. Yeah. And if you're if that sketch goes, maybe this one won't because maybe you maybe they're similar or maybe. But it's like, oh, maybe you can do it another time. I don't know. I just feel like also if something doesn't work.

Like, I don't want to do it on the show. I'd rather not be in stuff. Now, do you see either one of those two twins of yours going into the, is anyone, either one of them seem funny or prone to the spotlight? If anyone, my daughter, but I, it's probably too early to tell, but she's,

She doesn't mind attention. She does some funny things, yes. Yeah? Yeah, she does some bits. And I try sometimes with, like, voices, and sometimes they're just like, what? To try to get her going? Yeah, but they don't think I'm funny. All right. Don't you have to, like, you guys with kids, don't you have to, like, apply for, like,

preschool like now like isn't it hard to get into schools or something you have to start now I can't think about applications are you starting to sweat that Kristen or that still like a year away looking for preschools and kindergartens and I mean they're in they're in like a little preschool now uh uh which I love it's amazing um

I haven't really thought about it. Yeah, it starts to get stressful. I know, I guess I should, but part of me is just like... No, I think fuck it is the best way to go and just kind of roll the dice. Yeah, it's such a stress. I just see so many people worried about it, and I don't know. Hey, are you enjoying any shows with your kids right now that are particularly... Because I used to love watching kid shows with my kids when they were young enough to watch stuff. I was interested, and now they're watching, you know, really...

They're watching a lot of CW stuff. Exactly. I can't, I can't. Yeah, no joke. My kids love Euphoria. Do they? Oh, yeah.

Mostly just for the music though, right? Yeah. Sometimes I just turn off the sound and just let them watch what's happening. Are you watching anything with them that you particularly like or anything with Mr. Wonderful that you really like? Like comedy or drama? Mr. Wonderful, he's going to love this. What's his name? Avi. His name's Avi. Avi. Short for obvious? Avi. Avi. You guys, this is all free. This is my husband, Avi.

And now, a word from our sponsor. And now, back to the show. Are you not a fan of devices or media for children? Not right now. Your finger painting and stuff like that? I mean, I don't want anything to be like, no, you could never, because then they'll, you know, like with sugar, you hear about people that never give their kids sugar and then they like hide food in their room. Right. Not me.

But yeah, not yet. We show them like, we just kind of started showing them videos of like trains. - January 7th. - It's literally just like different trains. - Sure, good for you. - There's no like puppets or anything. - Isn't it kind of fun though when you have kids that small? Isn't it a great excuse to do crafts? I love doing crafts. - Hey, side note, Sean, can I hire you this summer to be a counselor over at my house? 'Cause I've got three kids and a stepson, you know what I mean? - I like doing crafts and stuff. - I love crafts, me too. - It's such a great excuse.

Oh, God, I'd love to see you do some crafts. Do you have a craft room, Sean? Do you have like a bunch of glue and shit around? No, but that's like a dream of mine. He's got a bunch of glue. Okay.

Can't you tell? Do you... You and... But wait, I am curious. Do you have a guilty pleasure with Avi? Is it any sort of reality shows or... I love reality shows. He does not. He does not partake. What are you chewing up right now? I'm a Bravo girl. Oh, you are. Yeah. Housewives. You just made their... Housewives anywhere. You just made their goddamn day. Everybody at Bravo, this clip is going to be played around the office. They're like, she's a Bravo girl. They know. I'm a... I'll...

all of it. Do they know? Have you gone on there and done some with Andy, what's his name? Andy Cohen, yeah. You've done Andy's? What about Million Dollar Listing? Andy's a...

hoot uh i do watch that one that one seems a little more scripted for me yeah yeah it is but that's what i kind of like about it i like i don't watch that i haven't watched shots fired by wig on i mean wait why are you like a producer no no i love that you watch those shows i i know i like the thing i like about million dollars thing is that it's a little scripted it's like a little awkward and so i get into that it is i i mean i watch it so there's got to be i love that you watch what's your favorite group of housewives

Tough, tough choice. I love Potomac. Oh, I've not done Potomac yet. And I love Beverly Hills. Uh-huh. Yeah. And Jersey and Atlanta. Oh, God bless. So you're killing a lot of days. Yes, I do. Do you really? Yes. But I missed it. What'd you say? I watched all of it. What'd you say? I said that I can't believe that she really watches and she says she does all the time. Oh, yeah. I love it. I think it's... I think...

when you do what we do sometimes, you cannot get as lost as we used to get when we watched movies and TV. And like, sometimes you're like, oh, did they shoot this at night? You know, like you can't, you kind of like can't, you know what I mean? And like for something about reality, I turned my brain off and I just. You know, it'd be such a great idea for you is to do like a parody movie or TV show like that. It'd be such a great idea. That would be good. Wait, didn't Stiller did one of those, didn't he? Real Life, I think, wasn't that, was that what it was called? What?

long, long time ago? Or no, he loved real life that Charles Grodin did way, way, way back when, I think. Anyway, fascinating story. - The story's really gripping us. - We need stuff to trim. I like to give stuff to trim. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wig, what kind of stuff, you've done so many different things.

What now is the thing that will get you to leave home? And stop watching American Pie. Yeah, like what's going to get you out of the house to go and do? What's the thing that you go like, I really want to do this kind of thing? Aside from a fire. A fire, oh yes. Well, I'm about to start shooting something in LA, a show. We're making news right now. What is it? It's a show based on the book Mr. and Mrs. American Pie. It takes place in 19...

in 1969 in Palm Beach about this woman who's a little, it's very like Slim Aaron sort of vibe of the show. This woman who's a little unhinged, who's trying to get into the high society of Palm Beach. The title's in flux, so I'm not sure what I can say. Comedy or drama? It's comedy.

It's comedy. It's like a dark comedy. Yeah, yeah. But I'm really excited. And it's shooting in L.A. That's so great. Who's doing that? Who's jumping on that with you? Oh, like cast-wise? Yeah. Laura Dern. Love her. Incredible. And Allison Janney. Amazing. Also incredible. Love her. I'm not sure who else is official right now. You don't need anybody else. Do you need us to help close any deals? I mean, we can get on with... I do actually.

We can get on with BA today and close this shit. Who's grinding you right now? Alice is tough to close Allison? Is that what it is? Or is Laura being the squeaky wheel? No, no, they're done. They're closed. Laura is a producer. Hey, call Laura up and go, hey, regarding your deal, how you durn?

Nice. That's pretty good. That's so good. Hey, Siri, Siri, co-Apple Business Affairs. One second, guys. I'm going to fucking close this shit. There's no shooting in Florida? Well, no, we will. I think there's a little bit. I think there's a little bit. Just a touch. But it's mostly here. How'd you get them to shoot it in Los Angeles? Tracy, to shoot in Los Angeles is very expensive, especially when you consider there's huge tax incentives to shoot in a lot of other states. So how did you just say, listen,

I got two kids I don't want to leave and a husband that is obvi really great. Yeah, kind of. Good for you. I just, I needed to be here and they were game. So, yeah. Good for you. Hey, let me ask you this, Chris. Is there anything else you ever wanted to do? Like if you weren't doing this, like any other kind of like... There's a lot of things. Tell me, tell me. There's a lot of things. I mean, there's, I would love to...

maybe someday. Let's talk about that. Oh, yes. I would love to talk to you about that. I don't know. Or just outside of the business? Oh, yeah. I would love to. I mean, I majored in art and I love to paint and draw and I love writing music and I... What? Have Sean over for some crafts. Sean, get over there for a quick... And I love doing crafts.

You need to get over to Sean's house and split the day, half with the arts and crafts and half with the music. There you go. So the directing thing is something that you really want to do because... I've always wanted to do it. It doesn't feel like it's the right time right now because I know it's so time-consuming and I wouldn't find the right thing, but...

I think later in my life. I would love to do that, yeah. This thing that you're doing with Apple, it is a limited series?

Or ongoing or a movie. We'll see if they like it. It's supposed to be for a few years. But, you know, we have to see how it goes. But hopefully, yes. Are you writing as well? I'm not. No, I'm not. Okay. But you're in a position where you can not co-direct but be talking. You have a seat at the table with the director. You're the boss, yeah, ish? I mean, I don't know. You'd never call yourself that, but let us do it. I would never call myself the boss. Yeah.

because we have such a good team of people. - And also Laura is a producer as well, yes? - Yes, her production company, she's the one that brought me the,

brought me into it and got it asked me to do it so yeah she's she's the boss well you three guys are so have you three guys worked together before or know each other because oh i did work with laura for a second when i did uh i did a few episodes of last man on earth and she she did a couple and we were in it together i would put you three together in a second just based on knowing the three of you knowing that that would be you guys would you could you guys could travel together

you know, let alone work together. Yeah, I'm so excited. Wait, and MacGruber's came out, right? The TV series? Yes, yes, yes. God, it's one of the funniest things. We love some Will Forte over here. Oh, God. I know, I listen to Will on your, he's just, I mean, all you can do is just kind of breathe out when you talk about it.

And his writing, too. I know. I love watching him work, act, just be in the world. He's just the best. Wig and Forte and I did that Brother Solomon years ago. That was like my first movie that I had a big fan of. Remember how much we laughed doing that? Oh, my God. Wig used to do this bit. It was like to the music of one of those toy cars.

Do you remember for like little girls, like toys, and it was like, my first alcohol. Do you remember that? Yes. I just remember we would do the dumbest thing, and I don't know if this is going to translate, but Will and I would just be like, oh my God, I'm so thirsty. I just need something to drink. I'm so thirsty. Oh, hold on. I'm going to get it.

Like we would just take the tiniest bit or say I'm so starving and we'd get to food and just take the tiniest little bite. And it was the dumbest. We would do it all the time. I love shit like that. It was so stupid. But Will, you're one of those people whenever I see or whenever I saw it, like SNL, like you were just such a funny, like we would just laugh.

seeing each other and you were just always such a light. - I don't get it, I don't see that. - I agree. - That doesn't happen with me at all. - I agree. - By the way, I feel the same way about you. Every time I see you, I just wanna play. - No. - That I get. - That I understand. - That makes sense too. - Who makes you laugh in your life better than your kids and Avi? Like day to day, like your friend who-- - D to D. - D to D? Well, Annie, Annie Momolo to me is just one of the funniest people that's ever

walked the earth. I love that. Tell me you guys are cooking something up. We, well, we are. We're writing a movie for Disney right now about the evil stepsisters. Cinderella. Oh, that's great. Oh, wow. We're writing that. This is our first time. We're just like writing something and then like. We just made more news, guys. This is all the stuff no one knows yet. No, no.

We're breaking news. People don't know? This is all breaking news. Okay, good. To our smart assistant. Yes, yes. When are you going to be done? Is that live action or is it animated? It's live action musical, so it's like kind of uncharted territory for us. I'm in. Did you see Sean's face when he was looking down and you said musical and he looked up? Musical?

When do we get to enjoy that? I mean, we're just in like rewrite phase right now. So it's very beginning, but hopefully in the next couple of years. Is that something that you work on every single day with her? Like what do you write today or what do you do today? Today, we probably should. We just got notes and, you know, it's hard to...

It's hard to get to the computer sometimes. But what do you got planned today? It's now 1055 in Los Angeles. Well, my kids will be home from their little school at 1 o'clock. So I'll just have a nice quiet house until they get home, which is nice. I mean, I love them.

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's two hours between now and then. Yeah, I don't really have a... That's two episodes. I don't really have a plan. You're not going to watch Housewives between now and then? I don't like to watch during the day. I'm not like a TV watcher during the day. So you've got a line over which you will not cross. Yeah, I do. And plus I need something at night to look forward to, you know? Like I like putting the kids down and being like... All right. Potomac. What are these ladies getting into tonight? All right.

Because it's very real. Hey, Will, what are you going to do for the next two hours? You know, you're a dick because you know that you didn't invite me. Because you weren't invited to golf, Will. I wasn't invited to play golf today. I just got back into town. I've been gone for a few months. I just got back Wednesday. And this a-hole... I got a good idea. Why don't you go back to the range? Oh, okay. Yeah, why don't you go back and practice a little bit more? You know what? What I am going to do is I'm going to go...

I'm gonna work out. I got my boxing gym right here. Oh, that's fight camp, right? Fight camp, but I do it in a way like... You don't need to go into a Philly accent when you start talking about boxing. I go against the grain in a kind of like low light, and then I play like classical music as I box. You know what I mean? The camera just comes around the corner and finds me there. You know what I mean? You got a top on or top off? Sleeves on, sleeves off? No shirt. No shirt at all? But you do wear sleeves.

I do wear sleeves, but no shirt. I must have already gone through this with you. Hey, Tracy, by the way, Tracy's going to be here in like two hours. Is that right? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. My sister's coming to town. This is news. Is she going to stay with you? No, I'm going to put her in the hotel. The neighbor's shed. The neighbor's shed? Not even your shed? Not even your shed? Wow. Not even good enough for your shed? No.

All right. All right, Kristen. Wig. Kristen. It's been lovely. Will's taken way too much of your time. We love you. I love you guys. This was so fun. We love Avi and we love your children. Thank you. We love your earrings. We love the time you spent with us. Yes. Thank you. I hope you really savor your next two hours of just mellow and peace at the house.

I'm going to savor it. I'm happy. Just get one of those international collection of coffee and just sit out on your back. Oh, just with a cozy cup, scarf in the 90 degree weather.

All right. Big love. Thank you, my dear. I love your podcast. You guys are all amazing. And thanks for having me. We love you. You're a mega talent. Thank you for being here. Hey, you're a mega talent. You're a mega talent. Yeah, slam it. Here she comes. Enjoy your success. I love her. I love her a lot. We didn't talk about... I did two films with her. I did Extract, that Mike Judge film, and then also Paul.

About the alien with the southern peg. So you've known her for a while. I have. I'm just real crazy about her. Yeah, who isn't? I don't see her enough, but Amanda chats with her every once in a while. Yeah. Very jealous. She's, I mean, she's one of the funniest of all time. But you're right. She does keep a very low profile. That is admirable. I would like to see more of her on screen at least. Yeah.

-Yeah. -She's so funny. Always wig, just always funny. And I mean that like we were saying that every time I see her, I just want to play. -I just want to goof around and do a bit. -Yeah, I know. She's one of those people that was born to do what she's doing. -Born to bit. -Born to bit. Anyway, Sean, what do you have to get done there around the house before the troops show up? I had to...

Well, you know, there's no pool because my, you know, talk about high class problems. But I have a little pool in the back and it's being worked on. So they're bummed about that. But I said there's an ocean a half hour away with lots of water in it. So they might go swim there. Oh, because they're working on the pool. Yeah. So you're not, would you go with them to the ocean? Do you ever go to the ocean? No. No. Why? Do you not like, you don't like sand? I don't like, I don't like heat. I don't like the cold water.

What about if you went with a nice parasol?

And you kind of spin it as you're walking a little bit. You know what? Stop coming up with such great ideas. You wear a pair of aqua socks so your feet don't burn on the sand. And you're spinning parasols. You don't like the beach. I love it. I don't mind it, but I do find it's overrated. And that's probably because I just grew up out here. And it was just like, well, okay, it's just a line and then a bunch of water. That's right. I love the beach. And it doesn't change until you get...

to Hawaii. But the difference, the California beaches, it's a different animal. It's not like, because it's always a little bit chillier, et cetera. And it's kind of cloudy, the water. Yeah, kind of cloudy. And the water's cold most, like very cold most of the year, except for like August, September, you can't really swim in it and be, you know, unless you really like cold water. But,

I love the beach, man. I can't get enough of it. Oh, God, yeah, yeah, yeah. The good thing about Southern California, there's not a lot of the bigger sharks down in Southern California, so you don't have to worry about that occasional bite. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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