High School Teen & Rodeo Star Murdered by Her Ex: The Case of Ashley Doolittle 51:12

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That's ChumbaCasino.com. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Voidware prohibited by law. 18 plus. Terms and conditions apply. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to True Crime with Kendall Ray. Thank you so much for joining me today. And if you are new, then welcome. I'm so happy to have you here. So, guys, today we're going to be talking about a case that is very similar to a case I covered pretty recently, Lauren Astley. And it brought up the conversation around breakup violence.

And there were several comments requesting the case that I'm going to cover today on that video because it is very, very similar to what happened to Lauren Astley. This is a case that I'm surprised I haven't heard of because it's pretty local to me here in Colorado. We're going to be talking about the murder of 18-year-old Lauren.

Ashley Doolittle, who was a victim of breakup violence. And when we talked about Lauren Astley, there were so many comments from you guys that I really appreciated you all opening up and sharing your experiences and how you could sadly relate to Lauren's story. And it honestly got me really emotional hearing some of the things that you all have been through or things that you have had loved ones been through. And

I just feel that this topic is so, so important to talk about. I don't think breakup violence, especially in teenage relationships, is talked about enough. And I truly think the more discussions we have about it, the more education that is put out there and awareness in general is just super, super crucial. Because when you really think about it, education really could mean the difference between life and death in some cases. And even though it's a hard subject to discuss individually,

I think it's just so vital we do so. And so today I not only wanted to share Ashley's story, of course, but also talk about breakup violence as a whole. You know, not even just for teenagers. Adults absolutely go through breakup violence as well. It can really happen to anyone at any age. And so I thought it would be good to discuss some of the ways that we can try to combat it. Learning about Ashley's case truly broke my heart.

broke my heart for her, for her family, for all of her loved ones, all of her friends who were so deeply affected by this. She was such a beautiful and talented young woman who had so much to look forward to in her life. And the fact that it was all just taken from her, it's just hard to even, you know, find the words. It's incredibly tragic. But from my research, I know that her family feels so strongly about spreading awareness when it

hoping that it can help others, but also keeping her memory alive and not just for what happened to her, but who she was, which was a really great person, a light, which I know can be kind of cliche to describe someone as someone who lit up the room or a light, but that is how she's described. I

I feel it's incredibly accurate to who she was. So Ashley Marie Doolittle was born on May 20th, 1998 in Louisville, Colorado to her parents, Anne Marie and Jeff.

And from a young age, she just had an energy about her that really drew other people in. She had two brothers, Michael and Brandon, and she was really fortunate to have grown up in the family that she did because they really always supported and prioritized her dreams.

From the time that she was five years old, Ashley had her first pony, and literally from that day forward, she never looked back. Her passion for horseback riding was fostered at such a young age that it really became such a huge part of her identity.

And it wasn't just the animals that she loved, which of course, who doesn't love horses? Ashley especially loved horses. But it was also the sense of community that came with that and the purpose that it brought to her life. At just eight years old, she began riding in horse shows and she just absolutely fell in love with the rodeo community and lifestyle. In 2016, while part of the Boulder County Fair,

and Rodeo's royalty court, Ashley was crowned Lady in Waiting. Now, I have to say, I really have no familiarity with rodeo and horseback riding in general, so I learned quite a bit while learning about Ashley. I had no idea what Lady in Waiting means, but I found out

that they work alongside the rodeo queen to embody the rodeo spirit, and it comes with a lot of responsibility. It can mean helping prepare sponsors, planning fundraisers, attending community events, learning to be an event spokesperson, and much more. And this was really a huge honor for Ashley, and it meant that she was only one year away from being crowned

Rodeo Queen, which I did not know was a thing. She was recognized by many for her commitment to the rodeo community and also really a role model for other girls who wanted to be just like her one day. In fact, oftentimes young girls would come up to her and ask for her signature or

And I love learning this. It's super sweet. But she actually used to write each of them personalized notes, encouraging them to keep pursuing their dreams, which I think just speaks so much to her character and the role model that she truly was. ♪

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I honestly know nothing about 4-H. I've heard of it before, but from my understanding, it really seeks to encourage young children to get involved with the equestrian community and learn the skills of horsemanship. She competed on several horse judging and hippology teams, rode in horse bulls, and was even named the champion high individual overall in the National 4-H Western Roundup. And if that didn't keep her busy enough, Ashley was also a founding member and two-time vice president

of the Thompson Valley FFA chapter. And the FFA is also something I have heard of but didn't really know much about. I, to be honest, I've really only heard of it from the Dixie Chicks song, Good

Goodbye, Earl. Both active in the FFA, if you know what I mean. But it stands for Future Farmers of America, and it's an intracurricular student organization for individuals interested in agriculture and leadership. And Ashley had dreams of pursuing FFA at the state level when she was in college.

which was coming up for her soon. In the fall of 2016, Ashley was planning to attend college at Colorado State University, where she was going to major in agriculture business. She was super, super passionate about agriculture, the same way that she was passionate about being an equestrian. And I think it's safe to say that the future she had ahead of her was bright. She had actually just graduated from Berthoud High School in May of 2016 and was looking forward to...

the next chapter in her life. But all of that was destroyed by the decision of one person who decided that he would rather take Ashley away from the world

then live in a world where he couldn't have her. And that person is named Tanner Flores. Now, Tanner and Ashley met and began dating in high school, and on the outside, they had what many might describe as a typical teenage relationship. But obviously, this is not a happy love story by any means. Even before it really went south, their relationship was never really that great. Tanner's

Tanner was said to be very controlling of Ashley to the point where he would try to dictate what she could and couldn't do. And one thing in particular that he said she wasn't allowed to do was go to parties when she started up at college, which blew my mind because that is such a huge part of the college experience and everyone who wants to should be able to. And first of all, you have no right to forbid her from doing anything. And that's actually the words he said.

He forbade her from going to parties as if he had any right to control what she did. That is just such a huge red flag. I mean, the person you are in a relationship with is not your property. Second of all, I don't even understand why he was that concerned about this. I mean, clearly it's just jealousy, wanting to keep her to himself, right?

But it doesn't really make a lot of sense because Ashley was not much of a party girl at all. So there really wasn't any reason for him to be concerned. It seemed like it was just his own insecurities. And that's really one of the main things to note about Tanner is he was insanely insecure and insanely jealous and was terrified of losing her to someone better than him. And he really took those personal issues of his insecurity

out on her in different ways. And Ashley was definitely getting fed up with all of this. And luckily, about a year after dating, she realized that he was not the right person for her. So she decided to break up with him. To her, it was pretty simple. They went from dating to being broken up. But to him, it didn't seem to be as clear cut. So on June 4th, 2016, at Tanner's request,

He and Ashley ended up going on a hike in Estes Park to discuss their relationship. Now, this is a day I remember very clearly because I got married that day and it was a really beautiful day. And I got married not too far from Estes Park, so it would have been a great day to go on a hike. But Tanner was not understanding what it meant to discuss the relationship. And according to Tanner, he said that this hike and discussion went great.

and that things were good between them. But he clearly did not get the message that they were over, or maybe he did, but he just didn't want to accept it, which is possible as well. Because the following day, Ashley was at the Sundance Steakhouse and Saloon with some friends in Fort Collins, and Tanner just showed up, and she wanted nothing to do with him. Witnesses even say that at one point in the evening, he grabbed her,

and twirled her around in his direction to try and talk with her, but she wanted absolutely nothing to do with this, and she ended up leaving. Then, the next day, he convinced her to meet up with him again, this time at Lon Hagler Reservoir, and by the end of their conversation, he was somehow convinced that

they were back together, even though Ashley again clearly said that they weren't. And the day after that, she went back to the Sundance Saloon with her friends and she even reached out to Tanner and told him not to come because she didn't want to see him. He even tried to come up with this elaborate lie that

that he had locked his keys inside of his truck, and so he needed her to come and get him, and she just ended up ignoring this message, rightfully so. I mean, they were literally broken up, so it's not like she owed him anything, and...

Actually, the next day on June 8th, she agreed to go and sell some scrap metal with him. And I'm not really sure why she agreed. I think it is because she wanted to once again reiterate that they were broken up. And imagine how exhausting that is. And I'm sure so many of you out there can relate to having to explain to someone over and over again that you broke.

I mean, how much more clear can you be? Some people just can't accept it. And it's really frustrating. And I think it shows a lot of kindness on Ashley's part that she kept her

trying to explain it to him and giving him that time. I've actually personally been in that situation before back in high school. The guy I was trying to break up with just, I mean, super nice guy, didn't understand probably because I was too like nervous to really make it clear that we were broken up, but I had to break up with him like three times. So yeah, it can be a really tough situation.

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And that day when they were together, Tanner ended up going through her phone and finding these texts with two other guys that he deemed as flirtatious. And he basically accused her of cheating on him. And I'm going to keep sounding like a broken record here, but they were broken up. So no, she was not cheating on him. But Tanner didn't see it that way. In fact, later that night, Tanner ends up contacting these two guys, which, as you can imagine, really pissed Ashley off. And she had to once again explain to him

probably for like the 10th time at this point, that they were donezo. And after all of this, Tanner ends up texting Ashley. And I think you can see in this message just how bitter, jealous, and immature that Tanner truly is. And here's just one of those messages. "'I hope you realize what you threw away. "'I gave you everything and spent so much money on you. "'You were too busy trying to fuck "'Tori and Jared behind my back. "'You are nothing near loyal.'

I'm going to do something stupid now. Bye. And so Ashley actually responded to try and defend herself. And even though she wanted to try and stay friends with him up until this point, now she was realizing that it clearly just wasn't possible. Tanner's immaturity throughout all of this was just too much. And I wish I could say that immature was all Tanner was, but...

Unfortunately, he was much more than that, because on June 9th, 2016, he became a killer. Early that morning, Tanner messages Ashley and asks once again if the two of them could get together and talk. And Ashley tells him that she has to be in Denver that morning, but that she could meet up with him later that day. Now, in the meantime, Tanner claims to have borrowed his dad's pistol, which

He says he took shooting out near Carter Lake to, quote, decompress. However, prosecutors would argue later on that he was just test firing the weapon to make sure that it worked. But I'll get back to that shortly. And that whole day on the 9th, Tanner is continually texting Ashley and you can tell that she is just...

so annoyed with him by that point. One of his texts even said, I miss you. And she just responded and said, stop. But like I said, she did agree to meet with him later on because it just wasn't in her nature to be rude or unkind, which I want to make it clear that setting that boundary is in no way rude. But Ashley was just such a kind person that she still felt bad for him, you know? And that's something I think

is really hard to do to set those boundaries, especially at such a young age. And it's really, you know, it's a reason why it's important to share stories like this and make others aware of what situation you could end up in if you...

put yourself in an uncomfortable position. I mean, obviously she did not want to go and she was just such a nice person that she felt like she should. And I truly am not victim shaming here. What happened to her is absolutely not her fault. And I'm also really bad at setting boundaries. I would probably have done the same thing as her and just tried to take the nice route. But I think it's important to...

you know, talk about the dangers of putting yourself in situations where you're uncomfortable. So sometime on the afternoon of the 9th, the two of them got together at Lahn-Hagler Reservoir, where Ashley proceeded to get inside of his truck. And sadly, this would be the last thing that she ever did. That evening, around 7.30 p.m., Ashley's parents went out looking for her after she failed to return home.

And just before 8 o'clock, they found her car in the parking area of the reservoir. And they just knew 100% that their daughter would have texted them if she was planning on coming home late. So they immediately decided to report her missing to the Larimer County Sheriff's Office. And they jumped right into action and a search effort was kicked off immediately. Local law enforcement began calling her friends and family and tried to gather any information they could.

And one thing that really stood out to them more than anything else was that everyone kept mentioning the name Tanner Flores. And of course, it didn't take investigators long to find out that Tanner was Ashley's ex-boyfriend, that they had...

recently broken up and that he was extremely distraught over the breakup. One person even said that Tanner had posted something on Snapchat that made them believe he was suicidal and other people said that they had never seen him so depressed. But the most alarming thing they learned about Tanner came from his dad. He told them that his .22 caliber revolver was missing from a locked gun safe

And that Tanner knew where the key was. So now the search effort is quickly turning from one missing teen to two missing teens. And the pressure was on to find them as soon as possible. Breaking news just into our newsroom. Two teens are missing in Larimer County. So the calls at the first alert desk with why officials are very concerned about this this morning.

Yeah, here's why they're very concerned. The Larimer County Sheriff's Office has an alert out for this young woman, 18 years old, Ashley Marie Doolittle. She has been missing from Bertha since yesterday. She was reported missing after her family found her vehicle unoccupied and she didn't come home last night. Now, here's the concerning part. A young man that she just ended a relationship with is also missing this morning. He has been missing since yesterday. His name is Tanner Flores. He was reportedly distraught.

about their breakup. Tanner drives a vehicle that authorities want you to look at, a white 1999 Dodge pickup truck with Colorado license plate

121 X G O. Please contact the Larimer County Sheriff's Office if you know where the teens are. And as you can probably guess, a bolo or be on the lookout was put out for Tanner's truck and officers all across the state of Colorado were asked to keep their eyes open. The search was really on full force, but by 8 a.m. the next morning, it was unanswered.

already over. A call came in that Tanner's truck was spotted on his deceased grandfather's property, which was located in Colburn, Colorado, which...

He's literally five hours away on the other side of the state. Tanner's grandma had actually called a neighbor and asked if she saw Tanner's truck on the property, and she said she did. And as soon as his grandma found that out, she reported it to law enforcement right away. But of course, it was going to take a little bit of time to assemble a team and to make that arrest. So in the meantime, they had a wildlife ranger go to the property, Tanner's

deceased grandfather's property and to keep an eye on him and the truck and make sure he didn't try to leave. And while he didn't necessarily try to leave, he did do some other things and they were very disturbing. Both that neighbor and the wildlife ranger watched as Tanner began throwing blood-soaked rags into a nearby field and also as he moved a rolled-up mat and

into a wood pile that was located behind the house. And then, and this is definitely the most disturbing thing that they saw, they watched Tanner bring a heavy blanket out from the house and put it in the backseat of his truck. This blanket appeared to be heavy for him to carry and

This is, again, really disturbing, but they saw an arm, a human arm, sticking out of the blanket. Luckily, though, an arrest was about to be made. Later that morning, Mesa County Sheriff's deputies, CBI agents, and members of three additional law enforcement agencies made it to the property where they arrested Tanner Flores without incident. At

At the scene, officers found Ashley's body in the backseat of his truck, wrapped up in the blanket, and everyone's worst nightmare was confirmed. Ashley was gone, and at this point, no life-saving measures could be taken. And for as obvious as it was that Tanner was responsible...

At first, he tried to deny it. In a videotaped interview from January 10th, Tanner told officers that while the two of them were discussing their relationship in his truck, Ashley was the one who grabbed the gun and pointed it at her own head. And he said that he tried to wrestle the gun away from her, but during the struggle, the gun went off and she was shot. And then he said that he ended up shooting her two more times

to end her pain because the first shot didn't kill her. Yep, that is right. You heard that right. First, he blames her and says that she shot herself and then tries to say that he only shot her an additional two more times

to end her pain. And obviously, this is an absolutely ridiculous, completely absurd story that he is trying to tell to spin the narrative, to make himself look as innocent as possible and put the blame on her. And luckily, the officer he told this to called him out immediately. He told him he thought he was full of shit, basically. He told him that

You know, he didn't believe his story. And luckily, it only took Tanner a few minutes to come clean about what actually happened. And what actually happened, the truth is just horrific. According to Tanner, the two of them met up at Lon Hagler Reservoir. And like I said before, they drove west towards Carter Lake.

Which, just a reminder, this was the same lake area that he went to earlier that morning to practice shooting the gun. And this is where Tanner said they talked about their breakup and where Ashley ultimately said that she wasn't going to get back together with him. However, he did say that Ashley told him that she would marry him later in life and that she just wanted to explore relationships with other people beforehand. Now, sadly, we can't confirm whether Ashley said this or not.

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Anyway, Tanner says that after this conversation, he starts driving her back to her car and that's when things started to go south. Apparently, and this is all according to him, unfortunately, we will never know what actually happened, but he said that Ashley glared at him. Yes, you heard that right. Glared at him. And that's all it took for Tanner to then kill her. And once she glared at him, he said that he reached into the backseat of his truck and

Grabbed the revolver and shot her twice in the back of the head. Then he claims when she didn't die right away, he shot her a third time to end her suffering. And then after this, he admitted to trying to clean up her body as best as he could and then driving from Larimer County to pretty much the other side of the state to his deceased husband.

grandfather's property. New details at five about the tragic murder of a Larimer County teen. Denver 7 has obtained the arrest affidavit for 18-year-old Tanner Flores. Now, according to the documents, Flores admits he shot 18-year-old Ashley Doolittle twice in the head.

because he was angry with her. This allegedly happened after the two had broken up. The affidavit says Flores killed Doolittle in Larimer County, then drove her body across the state to Colbran in Mesa County, where she was found with his truck.

Now, after giving his statement, Tanner was held without bail in the Mesa County Jail. However, he did end up being transferred to the Larimer County Jail just a few days later on June 17th. And that also happened to be the same day that Ashley's funeral took place. And as you can imagine, her friends and family were...

beyond shocked and devastated, just could not believe that this actually happened. And Ashley's death was mourned by over 700 people who gathered at her funeral at the St. John Evangelist Catholic Parish in Loveland, Colorado. And I think that sheer number of people who showed up is just a massive testament to the impact that she had on her community. And it's

it doesn't really surprise me that that many people came out to support this family, pay their respects, and try to make sense of such a

preventable tragedy. And I think it's really beautiful that that many people came to honor her. Her mom, Anne-Marie, has since said that she doesn't want her daughter to be remembered for her death, but rather for the full life that she lived. In her 18 years, she'd accomplished so much already, and she truly set up her own future for success. I feel like for so many at age 18, it's, you know, such a strange time in your life where you're

Having to figure out what you're going to do with the rest of your life so suddenly and it can be super overwhelming and not many people know exactly what they want to do with their life. But that wasn't the case for Ashley. She knew exactly what she wanted and was determined to get it. Ashley knew what her purpose was and she was already taking the steps to accomplish her goals. And I think that is so amazing at that age. Ashley had really built a life and future for herself that is just wildly impressive for someone her age.

She was fun. She was smiling. She could be goofy and not worry about it. Even wearing a crown and a sash. She was a light. Friends of Ashley Doolittle say she was always down to earth. So many girls are concerned with how people view them and saying the right thing and doing the right thing. Ashley was herself all the time. This is Doolittle just days ago at the Elizabeth Stampede.

a lady in waiting to the rodeo queen. So next year she would have gone on to become the queen. Now the girl so excited for the upcoming season is being remembered and memorialized. The Boulder County Fair and Rodeo Royalty Facebook page says in part,

Ashley was a blessing to this program and her legacy as the 2017 Boulder County Fair and Rodeo Queen will live on forever. She represented the county and 4-H and the entire horse industry.

impeccably and even more royalty sat by to say hey hi ladies hi that's a recording of ashley i am the 2016 boulder county fair and rodeo lady in waiting posted on the rodeo facebook page we are so excited for her her family to be part of our group kim madsen is the leader of the boulder valley riders 4-h club horses have been a part of her life

for a long, long time. Madsen says she was headed to CSU this fall to major in agribusiness. She would have done great things. She was absolutely taken too soon.

I've reached out to the Boulder County Fair. They told me they're working on several ways to honor Ashley. We'll certainly keep you updated in the studio. Kristen Scoveira, Denver 7. Now, June 17th was a big day, as I've already described, and it was the day of Ashley's funeral. But there was a lot more going on. This also happened to be the day that the FBI announced that it would be assisting Larimer County in their investigation. Specifically, they were going to be helping with evidence search and recovery.

I-25 and Colorado 66 in Longmont were scoured for any evidence related to Ashley's murder. And I don't know about you guys, but for me, especially because I cover so many cases where this doesn't happen, it is such a nice reminder of the good that is in law enforcement when they really step up and take action. I mean, truly, I have nothing bad to say about the way that authorities handled it. Everyone seemed to be...

you know, just determined to get justice for this family. And we're really on Ashley's side. And that's just such a relief and really nice to hear. On June 20th, Tanner appeared for his first court appearance and was charged with first degree murder and second degree kidnapping. And just to clarify, the kidnapping charge had to do with the fact that it was believed Tanner didn't allow Ashley to leave his vehicle that day when she wanted to. And that brings us to October of 2017, which is about a year and a half after

Ashley was murdered, and that's when Tanner's trial began. And the courtroom was absolutely packed with friends and family of both teens. And as you can imagine, it was a very emotional week for everyone. But the reality was there was no doubt that Tanner killed Ashley. The thing in question was if he did it premeditatively. And according to the prosecution, he did. As I mentioned earlier, Tanner had gone to Carter Lake earlier that same morning

And prosecutors believe that he did so to test the weapon and make sure it worked. Not only that, but they also believe that he was sort of scouting out the best location that was somewhat secluded to commit the murder. Plus, there was the fact that he shot her using a single action revolver, meaning that in between each shot,

He had to cock back the firing mechanism. And so the prosecution ultimately argued that because he had to physically set up the weapon each time it was fired, that he acted with deliberation. But of course, the defense argued otherwise. In their minds, second degree murder was the fair charge because they don't believe that there was

any premeditation. Tanner himself actually took the stand to testify and walked through all the horrific details of what went down that day, and he reiterated that it just happened. He didn't deny what he did, but he fully denied that he planned to do it. He also testified that he threw both of their phones out of the truck window after the murder, but not before he took out Ashley's phone and texted himself

pretending to be her. And obviously, this is an attempt to make it seem like they weren't together that afternoon. He actually texted himself from her phone saying that she wasn't going to meet up with him. But this just clearly looked like a failed attempt to try and distance himself. But it was also proof that he attempted to cover up his tracks. But one thing he talked about that truly sickened me is what he said he did that night before he got caught.

And that is when he got to his grandfather's property, he broke the glass of the sliding door to gain access to the property. And then after he cleaned up some of the blood, he turned on the TV, laid back and watched some cartoons and then eventually fell asleep. And this isn't the first time I've heard of something like this, but it always truly blows my mind. The lack of empathy, the lack of...

human emotion and I don't even know how to describe it. For someone to have just killed an innocent girl, someone who you cared about, cared about so much that you didn't want anyone else to have her, and you're able to just turn on cartoons and chill after doing such a heinous act like murdering her in cold blood. I mean, it's just, how do you even begin to understand someone like that? It's truly...

It's evil. I mean, Heartless truly doesn't even begin to describe Tanner. And luckily, the jury agreed. And so on October 4th, 2017, Tanner Flores was found guilty of first degree murder and second degree kidnapping. The verdict is in a jury in Fort Collins finds a teenager guilty of first degree felony murder and the death of Ashley Doolittle. 19 year old Tanner Flores killed Ashley last year after the two had broken up.

Flores will be sentenced tomorrow to a mandatory life term with no chance for parole. And the following day, he was sentenced to life in prison without parole, plus an additional 32 years. And I think what Ashley's mom had to say after all of this was really powerful. It reminded me a lot of Lauren Astley's dad and, you know, having sympathy for Tanner's parents as well. At the end of the day, two families lost everything.

Two very young people in very different ways, but I can't imagine the pain that either of them must have gone through and are still going through to this day. The Doolittles say their daughter Ashley found comfort in her horse Bubba, and now they can find comfort knowing their daughter's killer will be behind bars for life.

They say, though, in this case, nobody wins. We're happy that we've got justice for Ashley. But in reality, two families were destroyed through this process. And, you know, my heart goes out to the Flores family, too. And even though that was the end of things, I don't want to end this episode here because, like I said in the beginning, I think this is a great opportunity to talk about the dangers of break of violence and violence.

some of the steps that you can take to prevent it for yourself and for others. And one of the ways that the Doolittles are trying to combat this and also keep Ashley's memory alive

is through their nonprofit, the Ashley Doolittle Foundation. Anne-Marie and Jeff recognized the same thing that Lauren Astley's parents recognized, that there was not enough conversation happening surrounding teen dating and breakup violence. So they created this foundation in her honor to raise awareness and preserve her legacy. So you started a foundation in her name, and the topic here is teen dating violence, and not a lot of people have talked about that. So tell me what you're trying to do.

Well, we want to raise awareness in the schools with the teens on the signs to look for, how to get out of situations and try to prevent future things from happening with kids. It's there's not a lot known about teen dating violence. The signs are subtle and just want to start to raise that awareness.

Okay. So you try to talk, I'm sure, directly to parents. I have four daughters. Okay. So what do you want to say to me as a parent? What should I be thinking about? I think communicating with your child and as you see signs, it's control. When you see signs of control, when you...

to let them know and understand it's hard when, especially when you have an 18 year old, because they think that they can take care of themselves. But the signs are subtle and it's to watch for those and communicate with your kids and let them know that you're there and can help them get through it. Have you been able to sort of list out some of these signs of control that are worrisome and such? What kinds of things?

And I know you've talked a little bit about social media being an aspect now. Yeah. I think an example, though, is if they're always watching their phone, needing to kind of report in to their boyfriend, girlfriend on where they are, what they're doing, and that type of control situation. Yeah. They have to know where they are every second. That's something to be worrisome and be aware of. What else? And it could be subtle things such as if

If you don't have any plans with your boyfriend or girlfriend that evening and you have friends call you up to want to go out that night and you do, but then your boyfriend says, well, if you go out with them, I'm going to break up with you. It's just those starting signs of control. It's if you're going off to college and your boyfriend may say,

I don't want you going to parties because I'm concerned that you might drink or get hurt.

It's just real subtle signs like that that is something to look for. Bad news. Now, you brought some things to remember, Ashley, and we can only imagine your pain still after nearly a year this morning. Just tell me a little bit about her again. I think one of the things we learned this past year, which was pretty amazing, we've got many letters and messages from

from parents and kids about all the things that Ashley did to help them. We had someone speak out and talk to us about how she helped them get out of a domestic violence situation. And just hearing that was comforting, but really

led us to start this foundation, Ashley Doolittle Foundation, to help those teens in the school so that other parents don't have to go through what we've gone through. Like you just heard them say, there are several signs that you should look out for when it comes to your child's toxic relationship, a friend's toxic relationship, or even your own toxic relationship. And of course, not all toxic or rough ending relationships end in this violent of a way, but I think it's extremely

extremely important to be cognizant of the warning signs because it can truly just happen so suddenly. I mean, I don't think Lauren or Ashley had any idea the danger that they were truly in. And according to a study from George Mason University, one in three teens in the U.S. will experience physical,

sexual or emotional abuse from someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults. And they define teen dating violence as including any type of physical violence, sexual violence, psychological aggression and stalking, which can occur both in person or electronically. And I wanted to share the 10 warning signs that they say to look out for.

using insults, intimidation or humiliation, extreme jealousy, insecurity or controlling behavior, isolation from friends and family, unwanted sexual contact of any kind, explosive temper or unusual moodiness, constantly monitoring social media activities or location, invasions of privacy like showing up unannounced, leaving unwanted items, gifts or flowers, abusing alcohol and drugs,

threatening or causing physical violence, scratches or bruises. And I think these are good warning signs for not only teen relationships, but really any relationship. And many of us can find use out of this list. I think it's an important thing to really take time to think about and possibly even save these things somewhere in your phone or something like that. And this list really just scratches the surface. Protecting a loved one from dating violence and breakup violence means knowing these warning signs

and also being able to openly talk to your loved one if you ever see any of these things happen. And Anne-Marie was right when she said that teens don't often want to talk to their parents about these things because they think they have it under control. And conversations like this can be difficult, uncomfortable, hard conversations to have, but

honestly, that's even more reason to have them. Speaking up when you have these concerns for someone you love who is in a relationship you believe to be toxic or violent, or speaking up when you believe you are in a relationship that is toxic or violent, is absolutely crucial. It's hard to do. I know it can be intimidating because you're not sure if it will be received well by the

I mean, it could be life-saving. And I also wanted to mention a few other tips for those of you out there, which I'm sure there are sadly a lot of you who are in toxic, dangerous, violent relationships that you want to get out of and you're worried about the backlash from a breakup. And some of those tips include breaking up with the person in a public place, alerting other people that you're going to be breaking up with them, that you're concerned about their reaction, as well as not seeing them again after breakups.

you break up with them. And obviously those tips are pretty general and don't cover everyone's situation. I mean, every relationship is so different. So I wanted to link some resources below for those of you who are, you know, in a relationship you want to get out of and you're scared to do so, or you know someone who is and needs that extra help. I'm certainly not an expert on this topic.

I've just done some, you know, very surface level research about some of the tips you can take, some of the steps you can take to protect yourself. But there are resources out there of people who are trained and know how to help. And I will leave links to those below. And of course, I will also put a link to the Ashley Doolittle Foundation below. So I hope you will check it out. And that's where I will be making my donation for this week.

This foundation has a mission of preserving Ashley's legacy by raising awareness and prevention of teen dating violence. And I believe the work that they're doing really deserves serious recognition. They are working on getting programs in schools that discuss teen dating violence, as well as helping victims connect with the right support groups that provide counseling. And at the end of the day here, I just really want to reiterate once again that

Nobody could have predicted what happened to Ashley and it's nobody's fault but Tanner's and Tanner's alone. And just like Lauren Ashley's parents have said, Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle say that if they can stop this from happening to just one other person, then they feel they have done their job.

Anne-Marie and Jeff Doolittle said it's the foundation they created for domestic violence in honor of Ashley that will keep them focused on moving forward. We want there to be healing. We want some good to come out of this through the Ashley Doolittle Foundation and try to prevent violence.

this from happening to other families so other parents don't have to go through what we went through. And on top of the Ashley Doolittle Foundation, there are so many other things that have been done in her honor that I wanted to mention as well. In the summer of 2016, there was a horse show in her honor where the proceeds were donated to a domestic violence charity. And in 2017, Ashley was posthumously crowned the Boulder County Fair and Rodeo Queen. And then there's the Ashley Doolittle Princess Program. I mentioned earlier that in 2016, Ashley was crowned

the lady-in-waiting at the rodeo. And from what I understand, part of being a lady-in-waiting is coming up with some sort of legacy. And for Ashley, she wanted her legacy to be the princess program, but unfortunately, she passed before she was able to bring this to fruition. However, her loved ones made sure that it still happened.

The Ashley Doolittle Princess Program is a program that she designed to help educate younger generations about what it means to be part of the Rodeo Royalty Court. She wanted this program to teach kids about the responsibilities and commitment the Royalty Court requires so that they can make an informed decision on whether or not they want to join later in life. And first of all, I just loved hearing that this is what she wanted her legacy to be, and I loved it.

even more hearing that this dream of hers was actually brought to life after she was gone. I definitely want to hear your thoughts on this case. We have such a cool community here on this channel, and it was really special to see

All of the comments that came in last time I covered a case like this, Lauren Astley's, you know, just hearing all of your different experiences and the support I saw between different viewers was just really, really special. And I want to thank you all in advance for those of you who do want to share your stories. I mean, that's really brave to talk about. It's not easy and

Yeah, I feel like it's so important, though, you know, of course, if you're comfortable and I understand people who are not comfortable sharing things like that on the Internet. But for those of you who who felt comfortable to do so, thank you. I mean, it it really could help someone else out there more than, you know. Also, if there are any other cases out there that you would like to see me cover that you.

pertain to breakup violence definitely let me know in the comments below or even better fill out my request form um it is pretty hard to keep track of that form there are like 95 000 submissions now but we try to go through as many of them as we can so if you're interested um you can do that there or yeah just just leave a comment and we try to look at as many of those as we can too

Yeah, at the end of the day, I just am so heartbroken for this family. Ashley seemed like such a kind, motivated, just genuinely good person. And it's just mind-blowing thinking that something can happen like that, something that no one was expecting. But I hope you can walk away from this episode learning something from her story and also learning about her and all the amazing things that she did in her 18 years of life. ♪

That is going to be it for me today, guys. Thank you for joining me for another episode and make sure you follow the show on Spotify and Apple podcasts. It really does help me out. If you want to watch the video version of this show, you can find it on my YouTube channel, which will be linked, or you can just search Kendall Ray. I will be back with another episode soon, but until then stay safe out there.

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