Armchair Anonymous: Beach Stories 01:02:25

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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Randall Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. Today is beach. And that is what Ken is a specialist in. He's a specialist in beach. That's all he knows. That's one of my favorite jokes in that movie. That was a good one. Yeah. And then they had to beat each other off too. What? I don't remember that. Yeah, remember they had to beat each other off.

I didn't see it still. You don't remember that part? No, I don't. And they're chanting, beat each other off. Did you dream this? No, no. This is very much a part of. They chant, beat each other off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, let's have a beach off and like beat each other off. Oh. And then it's just beat each other off somehow. Wow. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to have you do it right now. Fuck it. We're in a hurry, but I'm not. What's the film called? Barbie. Barbie.

Oh, my God. Ken? Why are you getting emotional? I'm going to beat you both off. Nobody's going to beat you anyone off.

Oh, that's so funny. You were so right. You didn't remember that? At all. I've only seen the movie once. You're not a feminist. So I should have dressed. I had a hunch I was more of a feminist than you. Oh, yep. Oh, God. I hate that we had to find out in public for your sake. It's really a big bummer for me. Oh, beach. Hold on. Here I am.

Was that even a sneeze? Good question. What are you doing over there? I had a sneeze. You're falling apart. No, I'm getting stronger. I'm going to beat you off. Oh, God. Okay, so yes, today's prompt is beach. Now, not beat you off, but just general. Regular beach. Yeah, tell us about a crazy trip to the beach or beach story. And we got exactly that. We got some hot, tasty beach stories coming your way. Just let me scan this and make sure that it's worth a listen.

Do you have plans? You seem very impatient to get away from me. No. Trapped in koi, beecher's eyes. Okay, so yeah, there's some animal on animal attack in this, I guess we could say. That's... Bestiality. Well... Between animals. Well, I don't think it was sexual. Maybe it started sexual and ended... If an animal has sex with another type of animal... Another species. Yes, that's...

is what I meant. Would that qualify as bestiality? I think so because we're an animal and if we have sex with another species, we are very guilty of bestiality. Okay. And I don't want to reopen the conversation about... Dolphins. ...transcending order, which would be the most offensive. Yeah, we're not going there. Okay. Okay, happy beach day. All right. Happy beach day. Hard times Come and go Take them slow Had them both But one thing You gotta know I'ma keep on shining

Callahan. Callahan breakpads. Callahan Callie. Remember Callahan breakpads from Tommy Boy? Big Tom Callahan? Yeah, vaguely. That was his daddy. His dada? His daddy. His daddy. That was his big daddy. Hello! Can you hear us? You know what? I can hear you. Oh.

Where are you? I'm getting glimpses out the window. I think I see pine trees. Do I? What am I seeing out the window? Good guess. Any thoughts? Pacific Northwest. No, I think you're in the south. Colorado. Colorado.

Colorado. Dax has got it. Pacific Northwest. I'm located in an area near Vancouver, BC, Canada. It's actually an island called Bowen Island. And are you Canadian? I'm Canadian. Yep. Wonderful. And Callahan's a great name. Is that a code name or that's your real name? That's my real name. I wish I could take credit for it, but I didn't have any say in the matter back in the day. The story of the name is my parents saw an ad for a boxer named Kid Callahan.

selling a silly post-traumatic mattress. That's where it came from. Oh, wow. Okay, you have a beach story. This story takes place in Europe, specifically in Croatia, back in 2016. At the time, I was doing an exchange for school, and the plan was to move there, do the exchange, and then travel around in a van for a couple of months. My girlfriend at the time, Lauren, who plays heavily into

This story came with me. So she took some time off work and came to Europe for five months, which was awesome. Didn't have a ton of money. We bought the best van we could, which was this sort of old 15-year-old Renault small van. Think of like the Ford Transit vans. You see the small ones that the mail carriers use, something sort of like that. And we turned it into this van.

camper-esque style vehicle that we planned to live out of for a couple of months. And you bought it off of a Croatian person? We were based out of Berlin originally. So we bought it in Germany and that was where the trip was starting. We had some family there that were sort of supporting us getting ready to do this trip. And so, yeah, we bought it in Berlin for, I don't know, a thousand euros or something.

Okay. We'd been going for a couple of weeks. We had a good little routine down. We'd get to a campground, set up, make dinner, generally just have a really good time. At this point, we'd been entirely inland. So Berlin, Vienna, Prague, Budapest. And then the plan was to

cut to the coast. So basically through Croatia and get to this little island called Kirk. Sorry if I'm mispronouncing it. And it was a great day. Sun was out. We finally get to the island and it's this really nice, windy, steep road down to this campground, which we found.

And I don't know if you guys have ever camped in Europe, but it's a little different than camping in the Pacific Northwest. No. Camping here is a gravel piece of area with maybe a picnic table and a fire pit. And a lot of the campgrounds there are like mini resorts. Oh. Restaurants.

Oh, I want to go there. I love camping now. Hey, if you're going to camp, that's a good way to do it. So yeah, we found this wonderful little place and, you know, it was in this little town. It was just a couple minutes from the beach. So we set up, I crack some wine, start making dinner. Lauren goes to the grocery store to grab some more wine and have a pretty standard night. And at this point, we're like, hey, there's some music. It sounds like there's a bar over there. Let's head over. So open up another bottle of wine, top off the glasses, go for a walk. Oh, that sounds lovely.

Yeah. Beautiful night. Fantastic night. And we're getting close to the bar and the music's on and Lauren sort of says, I love this song. I can't really think of who it is. And maybe this doesn't have context in the story, but I think it does. And I very confidently explained, oh, Eagles of Death Metal. 100%. Interesting. And she goes back, it is definitely not Eagles of Death Metal. I've never heard of them in my life. And I had that sort of feeling good confidence. Like, nope, you're wrong. I know exactly what's going on. It's Eagles of Death Metal. I got this. Yeah.

In hindsight, it was Black Keys. Okay, sure. Okay.

So I wasn't quite 100% there. Mailing it. You weren't on point. We get to the boardwalk, get down to the beach. It's a few steps down, and it's this nice pebbly beach, not sort of a sandy one, but it's beautiful. We sit and we watch the sun set. It's not that busy. The sun's down. We're sitting there, and I say, you know, we should go for a swim. At this point, we hadn't brought suits, and I was like, we could go for a skinny dip. Like the Europeans. Very European. And my memory serves that there wasn't an emphatic yes there.

But there wasn't a no. Oh, boy. Okay. Now, here's the gift of drinking.

When you've got a few glasses of wine and you have a few cocktails, you're up for that walk and that exploration. There's something about your demeanor that gets really optimistic. And yeah, that's worth the effort to go check something out. That's the upside. But then this is where it bites you in the butt because then you're also like, well, let's go skinny dipping. That also sounds like a good idea. And so it's hard to delineate which are good ideas and additive and which are okay. I just wanted to.

point that out. Yeah. And I don't think a couple of glasses of wine would have changed that in that scenario. Maybe the speed at which I was then naked and running towards the water would have changed. Okay. Yeah.

But to be fair, Lauren was on board. She was only a few steps behind me. And so I'm sprinting into the water and I get to, I don't know, maybe knee deep. And all of a sudden there's a sharp pain in my foot. And so I do what you would do if you have a sharp pain in your foot. I sort of drop down into the water in the process, kind of spin a bit. And now all of a sudden there's a sharp pain in my butt. Oh.

And I, of course, scream and I turn around and look at Lauren and she's naked about ankle deep, stopped, kind of doing a Venus pose, being like, what the hell is going on? My boyfriend just ran in the water and then started yelling. And it's at this point my eyes start to adjust and I can see the nice, beautiful, gray, pebbly bottom of the ocean and then very distinct black marks all over the place. And it's at this point I realize that they're sea urchins. Ew!

And hundreds of them. Oh.

Like a sea urchin minefield, essentially, is what I've waded into. And they're spiny and they puncture. Oh. So you went swimming on a cactus. Essentially. Oh. It's at this point, my eyes have adjusted. I can pick my way back out through them. Lauren, of course, has retreated and is now sitting on the beach dressed. And I get out and start getting dressed. And almost immediately, things are a little more difficult than they were when I went in the water.

I have this memory of trying to put my shorts on. And for some reason that was hard. I start slurring my words a little bit. Oh boy, poisoned. Not making a hundred percent sense. Yeah, yeah. Lauren's kind of goes, we both have had the same amount of drinks. Something's going on. And so of course she gets a little bit of panic of what if he's been poisoned? He's going to stop breathing. We need to get him out of here.

Yeah. We had a cell phone, but we weren't using it. We were just connecting to Wi-Fi. Like, we literally never carried it. And so the plan was to get me back to the van and figure it out from there. And so we go back up the steps. I'm leaning on her. I'm 6'2". She's 5'5". And as we're walking, more weight is going on. And eventually, I'm down. Oh, no. Oh.

Are you scared yet? No, I have no concept of what's going on. You don't know that you're super intoxicated looking. Not a clue. And so she flags down this group of girls. It's kind of at this point of the night where a lot of the story is now going to be reference and her story, because I don't remember a lot of it. I have flashes of it. I remember these girls being very done up, kind of a Jersey Shore style, big hair, very patterned dresses, long nails. And the only reason I remember that is because I remember laying on the ground, looking up and having that sort of movie vibe.

image of all the heads looking down on you. Yeah, yeah. Poking at me for some reason with extremely long nails. I don't really understand why. It's at this point that the meal from earlier reappears. You throw up. And throw up, yeah. Oh, God. This is bad news. Yeah, this is nosedive. They call the ambulance. The ambulance shows up. Lauren explains the situation, of course. And immediately they say, there's nothing poisonous. He's drunk.

They want to write you off. They've seen a million of these North Americans come through. They just can't handle their alcohol. In their fancy thousand dollar vans. Yeah, exactly. Can't handle it. And so there's a bit of a discussion about it and they get me on a stretcher. They wheel me back to the ambulance. They hook me up to IV and start pumping fluid into me. And it turns out the plan was really not to take me to the hospital, but to really just give me fluids and send me on my merry way. And then they proceed to drive us back to the campground.

lights on and basically haul me out of the ambulance and stuff me into the back of our small conversion van that we were using to sleep it off. You can't do that. Well, we're in Croatia. Liability is not as big of a industry there. Yeah. And so flash to the next morning, I wake up

And Lauren fills me in on the details. And I wake up with what can only been considered the worst hangover sickness feeling, whatever you want to call it, I've ever felt. We decide to move on. The campground's expensive. And I'm kind of like, I'm out. You're driving. And one detail I forgot to mention is that it's obviously an older van. It's standard. Lauren kind of knows how to drive standard. Okay, kind of. But also we drove down windy roads. It was hilly. Oh, no.

And so we make our way out and Lauren gives it her best attempt to get back up that hill. After a few attempts, we kind of sit there and I'm, as you do when you're not feeling great, struggling to even keep my eyes open. It's

And somehow we exchanged seats. We proceed to continue on the rest of the day. And to this day, we still don't know. Was it the wine? Was it the sea urchins? Oh. It's got to be sea urchins. A hundred percent. Yeah. You would think, you know, we were both doing the same thing, drinking the same thing. They even said it was drugs at one point. That was what the paramedics said. And I sort of was like, I don't have a Croatian drug guy hanging out. Yeah, yeah. I don't have a hookup.

So you'd thrown up. Did you end up shitting yourself at all? Is that part of this? I could have guessed you were going to ask that. No, there wasn't any poop involved. So I had a very similar experience in life. I was at the beach in Santa Barbara. I was 20 years old. I went out swimming. I guess my conclusion at this point is I must have got stung by a jellyfish or something. But same thing where I came back on shore.

started feeling a little weird and was putting my shirt on and I got trapped. I like couldn't complete it. And I was in my shirt going, what the fuck is going on? And I was losing all energy and I just fell back on the sand, all wadded up in my shirt. And Aaron's like, what the fuck's going on? And I was just incapacitated for like 30 minutes. And

And then slowly started coming out of it. But it was just out of nowhere. It scared the fuck out of me because I was like, I'm dying. Oh, you were aware? Yes, I was aware I was losing all of my energy and power. Did you think it was narcolepsy?

No, I think I got stung by like a jellyfish or something. But the coincidence of getting two punctures and then immediately feeling. These things carry all kinds of poisons. Occam's razor or Occam's, however you like to say it. They were so adamant that it wasn't that. That's what's interesting. But in my head, I'm thinking they're not marine biologists. Do they really know all the things that are in this area? They've been told don't bring anyone to this hospital unless we absolutely have to have them. Especially if they're North American. And they haven't paid into this.

healthcare system. Yeah, fuck. Yeah. Oh, wow. Scary. Well, Callahan, I'm glad you made it out of there. Did you end up marrying Lauren? That's an excellent question. And actually, the person who told me to submit to this would like to potentially say hi. This is Lauren. Hi, Monica. Hi, Daddy. Hi. We have a bambino. Yeah, this is Bryn. Oh,

Oh, look at Brynn's beautiful. Is Brynn's skin so soft? Oh, so soft. Oh, it looks really soft. So you believe that it was a poison, right? It was definitely not just the wine. Yeah.

Yeah. He had the same amount. It was instantaneous. When he came out of the water, he was slurring. He couldn't focus on me. Yeah, that is scary. Like, it was so bizarre. Yeah, I was pretty freaked out because his heart rate was fine. Like, all his vitals seemed to be okay. Like, they were so sure that...

It was alcohol-induced. Yeah, they've dealt with too many drunk vacationers. Exactly. They were like an allergy to the sulfites or something. I was like, yeah, but we've been drinking lots of wine on this trip. Yeah. Never had this problem. I'm with you guys. There was a poisoning in that Croatian body of water. I think so, yeah. I want to say one thing to Monica. Race to 35. I loved that series. Oh, thank you. We were going through fertility treatment when I was listening to that. Oh.

And it made a not great experience comfortable and humorous. So really appreciated that. Thank you so much. Wonderful. And it worked. Yay! And our good friend Robin's been the one that suggested that we should listen to you guys. So big shout out to her. Thank Robin for us. Yeah, if we would have told her that we were on, we told her Cal submitted, but she would have banged the door down. Well, we're delighted to have all you aboard. So nice meeting you guys. Thank you so much. All right, bye.

That was a really cute baby. Okay, I think I know what happened. Oh. So Putin was in town. Oh, okay. And he was supposed to go. Swimming there? No, I'm sorry. One of his enemies? One of his enemies was in town. Okay. And they were going to bring him swimming. Sure. Under the guise of some regular swimming.

but they had poisoned it. The whole area. Yes. And unfortunately, Callahan got there first. And so the ambulance people were told, don't take a poisoned person to the hospital because we're trying to kill them. Okay, they were all in on the Kremlin's scheme. I figured it out. That's the opposite of Ocam's razor. That's the most complicated answer is usually the right one. Urchin's razor. Oh my God. Can't resist. All right, here's Heather.

Hello, is this Heather? Yes. Hi, nice to meet you in your closet. Thank you. I am a rule follower, Monica. I appreciate it. I didn't want to say anything. We've had a lot of calls today. Almost nobody's been in their closet and I've been upset.

Well, one person was in their closet, but there was no clothes in it, which is almost worse. Way worse. That's true. A lot of echoing. That's right. Where are you at in the world? I am in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oh, wonderful. We do not get to talk to many Oklahomans. What do we say? Okies. Okies. Okies. So you have a beach story. I do. Hit us with it. So this was back in 2013. My husband and I were living in Oklahoma Springs.

city at the time. We were newlyweds and I had just graduated college. He's still in college. So we're thinking, let's do something fun for our first wedding anniversary. That's Labor Day weekend. And we don't have a whole lot of money. So we decided we're just going to pack up

the tent in my little Hyundai Tiburon, and we're gonna drive down to Corpus Christi in Texas. We hit the road, it's about 10, 12 hour drive. My husband surprises me and tells me that he had booked a horseback riding trip

On the beach. Oh, in Corpus or in Padre Island? Padre. I'm looking at the website and it looks so romantic. The horses are like trotting in the water. Private beach. Sun is setting. We get there. We get the tent set up. Perfect. We head over to the outfitter that's doing this horseback ride. And it's not so private.

We have 30 people with us. That's a lot of horses, by the way. Too many. You're getting kicked. Not great. This is a herd. Yeah, it really is. So they're putting people on horses based on their size from smallest to largest. And I'm in the first group with about 10 other people.

And we get on our horses. But I mean, we have to wait 45 minutes before the last group gets on. And my husband's a big guy. So he's literally the last one to get on. He's on a Clydesdale. They wheel out some Persheron. It really was. He had to get a stepstool to get his leg up and over.

And over the horse. So I'm at the very front and he's in the very back. So super romantic. It's about a 200 yard ride on this like pedestrian type path to the beach. You can't see the beach from the stables though. There's a lot of vegetation there. And so we take off and I finally see this clearing to where the beach is at.

Not a private beach at all. Very public. Labor Day weekend. We've got coolers. We've got beer. I mean, everybody's there. Yeah, there's cars on the beach, right? Yep. Erin and I camped there for a week. So you're familiar, Dax, then. It's like hard pack sand where those cars are driving. It's not loose, soft sand. So my group of 10, we start going out onto the beach and we take a turn and...

I noticed we're about 100, 200 feet on the actual beach. And this group of guys and motorcycles come rolling up about to leave. They all start looking at each other and they're talking. I can't make out what they're doing, but I just get this bad feeling like something's not right.

And they all start revving their engines and honking their horse. Okay. And the horses just take off. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Full stampede. Oh. This is very scary. I blame your people for this. These aren't my people. I know this is my hobby, but I'm not. This isn't my people. These are Texans. It's fine. I'm thinking to myself, I don't know a whole lot about horses. I know pull the reins. That's about it.

I know that they're pretty sensitive to human emotion. So like try and stay as calm as possible. Don't squeeze your muscles tight on them. Eventually this thing has to get tired and it'll stop. - 'Cause it has taken off sprinting at this point? - Oh yeah, I feel like I'm on a racetrack.

Oh my God. Oh, it's just shot out of there and starts racing down the beach. Yeah. And I think it was worse for our first group because they had been waiting for 45 minutes. I think they were just primed to go. Are they running through blankets and coolers? They're staying on the path, but I'm like looking ahead and I see one of the guides gets off his horse.

lets it go, just free. And he stands directly in the path of my horse. And I'm like, this guy's crazy. What is he doing? Thinking he's gonna move like he's been around horses? - They can't see where the shit to, right? That's the thing about horses. - Yeah.

And they're panicking. So it just full steam ahead. And he ends up lunging and jumping at the front of my horse and screaming at it. Oh, wow. Wild. Bravado. Sends the horse full stop, rears up, bucks me off the back. I go flying. What?

What did this guy think? Oh, my God. I don't know. I'm not even sure he knows what he was thinking. So I go off the back. Everything's spinning. Sand's coming up. And then all of a sudden, I feel pow right in the back of my head and black. Wait. Another horse. I mean, there's horses everywhere. Oh, my God. This is a nightmare. You know I'm scared of horses. Are you a ghost? Are you alive?

So I wake up on the beach and this stranger from one of the tents comes and he's screaming at me and he pulls me off the beach and he puts me in a lawn chair. His daughter's getting ice from a cooler and putting it on the back of my head. I can't figure out what's going on. I feel like the monkey in the circus. Everyone's just circling and just staring. Oh, boy. He's on the phone. He's asking me, who's the president? What year is it? And I said, look...

Stop asking me questions about the president. Go find my husband. He's the guy on the Clydesdale. Yeah, he's in the back. They find him. His Clydesdale is still on the beach path eating sunflowers. Oh, God. Yeah. Turns out that guy that pulled me off the beach was an off-duty police officer. Thank God. Super lucky. Wherever this kind human is at, thank you. They don't have enough ambulances because there's some kids that fell off horses. This is awful.

Full massacre. It really is. Red wedding. Yeah. They're like, how are we going to get a fire truck on the beach? They're pretty heavy. Like, actually, I'm going to decline doing that. I couldn't even afford a hotel. So like hospital stays out. Yes. An ambulance ride. Those are pricey. Pretty adamant, though, that I needed to go. So they end up getting one of those like ambulance fire truck rides.

medic trucks. I don't know exactly what they're called, but they get it on the beach instead of like a full fledged fire truck. Yeah. Almost like what the lifeguards would drive. Yes. Yes, exactly. So they get one of those out there.

And they get me loaded up. And again, I'm saying, this is pretty expensive. We'll just like pack up the Tiburon and head back. It's fine. The medics were pretty reasonable. They said my husband could ride in the front. That way you don't have to pay for two people riding the ambulance. Oh my God. I didn't know that. That they charge two people if one's just accompanying. That is so bad. I mean, I don't know if that's universal. That's the place down there. Yeah, yeah. We'll just say...

In this case, they were spared that expense. I've denied an ambulance a couple of times. And it is so sad that like when you come up on young people and they're broke, it's like to not have an option and take an ambulance is pretty bad. Healthcare, you shouldn't have to make these choices. So we get there and I'm just like begging the doctor, please get me off this backboard. It's miserable. My leg hurts.

And he said, not until we finish scanning you, you are going to glow in the dark by the time we're done. Oh. Super reassuring. So they did some x-rays, CT scans, and MRI. He comes back with the results and he says, okay, the leg's not broken, but you have a nice indent of a horse hoof to the thigh. That was there for a solid year. Unreal. Oh my gosh.

It like destroyed the tissue in there or something. It did. And no internal bleeding, even though I had a bunch of like bruising. It was three broken ribs on one side and four cracked on the other. Oh my God. That's the worst bone to break. Ended up with a pretty big cut on the back of the head that went down to the skull. Oh.

Fuck. Full bone exposed. From a horse hoof? From a horse hoof. Oh my God. You are so lucky. Your head got stepped on by a horse. That's what that big feeling was when everything went black.

And I had no clue what it was. I thought maybe I hit a rock on the beach or something. But that off-duty police officer put in a spectacular report of what he witnessed. Oh, good. And so I had that. And then they said, you have a brain bleed on your occipital lobe. So you're going to be here for a while being monitored.

and constantly scanned. A neurosurgeon's going to come down. I mean, I just thought I was going out for an anniversary ride with my husband and this has turned into a thing. Yeah, you're being watched to make sure. Eventually, we kind of feel safe that it's not going to progress and they are cleaning out the wound and I'm having to lay on those broken ribs while they put the staples in and I'm in a lot of pain. My husband's like, let me pull out my

phone and get a picture oh that's what we have can we look now yes you can look and it's really terrible 2013 phone quality oh here i'm having trouble staples in the head oh those are the staples sure i see hair on the back of my head yeah it was a mess just a disaster oh man iphone one

Yeah, right? Really terrible quality. Wow. How long were you in there? About a day. Not terrible, but they charged me because it was from that afternoon to the next one, two days. Yeah. What responsibility did the horse company take? First of all, I can't even believe they can get insurance for such a thing. I know. Because 30 horses are so unpredictable. So, yeah, what happened in the aftermath? I...

ended up getting a lawyer but because of the equestrian laws in texas it protects a lot of owners and so you don't really see much from that all i have to say safety first wear a helmet yeah did they pay for anything i got a little bit like a thousand dollars out of it that was about it yeah louise i didn't get a refund for the ride by the way oh my god

It would have been great if they gave you a voucher for another trip. Oh, man. Oh, wow. Well, you're lucky. We're lucky to have you. Yes, thank you. And do you have a healthy scar on the back of your head still from it? Yeah, hair parts, surrounded and everything. Wow. It's wild. Wow, wow.

I ended up having to go back to the hospital about a week later. They thought I had internal bleeding at that point once we had gotten home. I had to have a babysitter for a few weeks just to make sure like mental status was okay. Yeah. And turns out the original hospital had likely given me a catheter that gave me a kidney infection. And I never noticed it just because...

I just wasn't really thinking on all cylinders. Yeah. Your brain swelled up. It was the gift that kept on giving. Oh, man. Wow.

Have you had a redo? Have you guys had a good anniversary trip yet? We have. Okay. Yeah, we just recently upgraded to a teardrop camper. Really enjoying it. Yeah, big difference. Heather, great meeting you and I'm glad you made it. Appreciate it, guys. And shame on you, motorcyclists. Anyone who rides a motorcycle, shame. Shame. That's right. Can I let my husband come

Say hi real quick. Sure, of course. Clydesdale. Let's see him. Hello. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. We heard that you were on the back on the big horse. Yes, I was observing everything. So I just watched the horses take off and I was still trying to get down the hill. Finally, they came looking for me and they're yelling, Tyler, where's Tyler? And I'm like,

And I'm like, I'm here. They're like, your wife fell off the horse. And the guy from the ranch or whatever was like, you need to stay on your horse. And I just remember telling the guy, I don't care, dude, I'm getting off the damn horse. And I like ran down the beach to go find her. It was crazy for sure. I'm getting off the damn horse. Well, why also,

You need to stay on your horse when your wife has gotten thrown off. They're like the liability right now is in the trash. We've got four people down. We can't have him get off. He's going to get stampeded by a horse. Jesus, what a disaster. I think Heather dodged a major bullet. It's not often you get stepped on by a horse and you pull out of it. I saw her cut on her head and I could see down her skull. I was like, we're going to be here for a while. It's not going to be fun. Yeah. It was huge. Yeah.

Well, thank you for taking that picture. Absolutely. I'm glad that she got to meet you guys and tell a story. Yeah. Nice to meet you. All right. Okay. Bye. Listen, I'm not equating this, but... Here we go. Hi.

Okay, you know how she said she had the mark on her leg for a year? Yeah. So I have a mark on my leg from these shorts, actually. From the shorts? These shorts. So I wore them in New York and I was walking all day, hours, 18 hours.

Couple hundred miles. No, I did walk all day. Anyway, and there was something on the inside of the shorts. I was like, it is uncomfortable, but I never decided to look. And so it was rubbing against my leg all day. And now I have a mark on my leg. A bruise? It doesn't hurt.

It doesn't hurt, though. It feels deeper. I don't know what's going on, but I have a big mark on my leg. I went months and months ago. Oh, wow. You should sue your shorts. When you inspected the inside of the short pant, did you discover anything? Yeah, there was like something on it or in it, like some sort of tag. I cut it off. An extra button? You know they do that sometimes? They'll sew in the next... Okay. It was something. And now I'm coming up on summer and bathing suits, and you're going to see it. Oof. Okay. Wow.

I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed. Anyway, if any armchairs know how to get rid of that. If you know how to get rid of a short-induced injury to the leg that seems to persist over time. Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know about my mark. Hope you heal up. But I did get back on the horse. I'm wearing my shorts again, as you can see. I know, it's...

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We are supported by Wayfair. When I get home from vacation, the first thing I like to do is lay in my own bed with my own pillows and my own sheets. There's nothing like your own bed. No, I love it so much. Coming home to your space is one of the best feelings after a long trip, especially when you use Wayfair to make it exactly the way you want. They

They make it easy to create and transform any room into a relaxing oasis. You know, my stand mixer is from Wayfair, my KitchenAid stand mixer. Which I just saw and is gorgeous. It's gorgeous, and I use it so much to make cookies. We're also using Wayfair to decorate the new...

video recording space. That's right. We have some pieces. We're heavily entrenched with Wayfair right now. Whatever you're into, whatever budget you have, Wayfair is the go-to destination for everything home. And I mean everything from appliances to area rugs, beds, wall art, lamps, and more.

They have something for every room. It's good to come home when you live in the Waverhood. Visit Wayfair.com or download the Wayfair app. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. Hello. Hi. I'm so nervous. No, don't be nervous. Zero pressure. Who's your friend, Christy? This is my Iron Weekly. Oh, wonderful. Hello.

Everyone should be so lucky. Yes. Luckily, she's my cousin, too. Oh, perfect. That's nice. It's in the blood. Where are you? I live in a suburb right outside of Philadelphia, right near Tina Fey. Ding, ding, ding. Oh. Very close to where she's from. I don't even think I knew she was from Philadelphia. I read her book, so. Yeah. She's from right outside of Philadelphia. You've got a lot of people to point to. What are you two laughing at? That you read her book? I mean, I did read it.

It made no sense. Miss Bossy Pants? Regular Bossy Pants. Just regular Bossy Pants. But you've got all kinds of people to be claiming these days. You've got Bradley. Hotbed. Yeah. Very exciting. Yes. We have less in Detroit, I think. You have you. You have Kristen. Bob Seger. I have Kevin Hart.

Oh, that's pretty good. Great one. Oh, Will Smith, Philadelphia. And Fresh Prince. Pound for pound. Both of them. Yes. Okay, so Christy, you have a crazy beach story. Where and when does it take place? This took place...

Last year, one year ago in St. Pete Beach, Florida. St. Pete. Okay. Where is that? That's Gulfside? Gulfside. Yes. Okay. By Sarasota? Yes. Okay. Okay. So this was our family vacation last year. It was my husband, myself, and two of my three kids. Beautiful resort. One of the days we decided to rent jet skis. Great place for a bad story to start. Jet skis. Yes, exactly. I am...

I'm not afraid of the ocean. I know we are in their habitat. So my husband is on one with my youngest and I'm on one with my middle. We have about an hour and we have a lot of freedom, too much freedom. So we're out cruising, having the best time. But the whole time I'm like, I don't

I don't see any dolphin. I don't see any shark. I don't see any wildlife. Not that much to look at out there. About halfway through, we switch kids. I take my youngest. He takes my middle. So my youngest and I find this beautiful green water. We're jumping off the back.

It's very shallow, very close to the beach. Couple minutes go by. We're like, let's go find dad. So we find my husband and my son just going entirely too fast. Yeah, yeah, of course. We meet up again. He's like, Chris, can you take them? I'm going to go out and rip it. Oh, boy. Oh, God.

He's got to blow off some steam. So he goes and he just takes off. We don't see him for a while. We're jumping off the back. Me and my kids still having a great time. So we see him coming back towards us from a little bit far away. He's like, Chris, Chris, come here. There's a shark eating a doll.

a dolphin. Oh, come here. There's a shark eating a dolphin. You got two kids with you. Come closer to this. But you know what I did? Come on, let's go. Let's go. We got to see this. Let's go. Right. Wow. My kids are like, no, no, we don't want to go. Like, get on. Let's go. We're not missing this. We're following and all you see is a giant puddle of blood. Oh, wow.

But I'm still like, let's go. Come on. We can't miss this. You see the shark on your knee. It's creeping around. You see these intestines floating. Oh, my God. Let me backtrack. When my husband saw it, he saw just a dolphin like thrashing out of the water. And he gets up close. He did get a good video of this. I did send it. Oh, you sent it in. Are we allowed to post it? Yes. Oh, wonderful. People will love it. I let you watch it.

Oh my lord. Just wait, you'll see the shark. It's getting red. Oh, yuck. Oh, there's the intestines. Ah, no!

I should have warned you. I'm sorry. Well, you kind of did. The only question I would have is how certain were you it was a dolphin? I don't see the dead. I mean, I see blood everywhere. Pre-video, my husband saw the dolphin out of the water. Okay. So we're approaching. My kids are scared. They're holding on tight. Okay. Let me rewind. I have three people on my jet ski meant for two. Yeah. This is against the waiver you signed.

You're in violation of your agreement at this point. Do you want to guess what happened, Dax? One of the kids fell in. Into the blood pool with the shark? We all fell in. Oh, my God. All three of you fell in. Oh, no. Oh, my God. We lean over to get a closer look. Everyone looked at once. We flipped. Just rolled. My kids are screaming, screaming. I lock eyes with my husband. He's watching in horror.

Just horror. There's nothing he can do. He can't even swim. Oh my God. He's out there. He can't swim. You guys. Oh, you guys. City folk. Oh my God. Why does he want to rip it? If he can't swim, this is a bad idea. Okay.

Bad idea. Somehow I got them out of there in, it felt like 10 seconds. I just asked my husband. He said it was a good like 30 to 35 seconds. Thankfully, the jet ski flipped itself back upright. I got them right off the back and then I'm getting in their leg muscles.

Yes, I think you're going to get eaten by a shark. My husband, you know, there's nothing he can do. But watch, we get back on. We're starting to flee the shark. My kids are like, Dad went back. He went back for his crock. Oh, boy.

He lost a crock in all this? Oh, my God. This whole thing doesn't bode well for husbands, does it? Any armchair anonymous. The husbands are always the blame. They're the problem. So we make it back and we go and we tell all the workers like what we just saw. And all you see is like 12 workers hopping on jet skis, heading back right to where we were. They wanted a closer look. Wow.

This is my crew. Does this all feel very foreign? Like, you see that, got to get there, look at it. Well, foreign to me. I mean, I know people like it, but yeah, I would never do that. We have a shark attack story coming up. I got the better end of that shark story, yes. I wonder if you had heard that story, if you guys would have gone closer to the shark. Although, yeah, that one was a great white story, and that was not a great white. I think it's maybe like a hammerhead, or I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. But it was not even that far from the beach. It was very close. I could have stood there and I'm only 5'4". Oh, boy. Oh, those kids. I bet they remember that trip to Florida. Yeah, they do. Listen.

Last night, I was like, what do you remember from that? Just to freshen my memory, I'm going to tell this story. And my one son said, I don't even like to talk about it. I don't even like to think about that. Yeah, trauma. And my youngest, he wanted to be here to come in at the end, but he is at a baseball game right now. I said, what would you have said? He said that I was screaming. This is a detail that mustn't be forgotten. Oh, wow.

Oh, my Lord. What a funny family disaster. Yes, exactly. Yeah, the whole family. I would do the same thing again. I would, too. Just for the memory. There's a weird overlap between, like, the hillbilly gene and then the whatever this Philly suburb gene is. We sound alike. Yeah. It's almost like some kind of redneckism here. A little bit. Gotta get close to the action.

Oh, well, Christy, that was terrifying and wonderful. Yes. Thank you. Can my Iron Weekly come out and say hello? Yes, please. It's so nice to meet you. We are diehard armcherries. Oh, that makes us so happy. Does Christy's story make you want to vacation with her or not vacation with her? I know her family. I know what they get themselves into, so I couldn't say that I was surprised. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Her sister-in-law, however, when she texted the story to the family, replied with, please stop doing white people shit. Yeah, very white people shit. Getting a closer look at the shark. Dax, we have to say, being from Philly, we adore the way that you say Philadelphia. Okay, I'm clearly saying it wrong. It's my favorite thing in the world. How do you say it? Philadelphia. Philadelphia.

Can't even hear the difference. No, I don't even know what I'm saying. You make it an O instead of an E. Okay, Philadelphia. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's how you say it, you guys. We love it. And we also know that you love a compliment and you love a good looking boy. There's actually a player right now on our baseball team, the Phillies, who looks like a baby Dax. Really? You need to look him up. He is. He's a cutie. His name's Bryson Stott. Okay.

Okay. I'll have to look him up. This might be the first comparison I like. He's a cutie. You guys are twins. You will be very flattered. Okay, wonderful. Thank you, ladies. All right, well, nice meeting you both. Take good care. Oh, we will take good care. Bye, ladies. I can see it. I can barely see. As long as you guys think he's handsome, I'm grateful. He's handsome. Okay, good. I'm grateful. Thank you for that blessing.

Hello? Can you hear us? Oh, I can't hear you. Oh, you can't hear us. We can hear you. Oh, now I can. Now I can. Yay. Wonderful. Is this Carrie? This is Carrie. Where are you at? I'm in Flagstaff, Arizona. Oh.

Not too far. I've done some filming in Flagstaff. Do you go to Sedona a lot? You're so close. I do go to Sedona a lot. It's so nice there. We love it. The stargazing, which I'm sure is equally as good in Flagstaff. Yeah, Flagstaff is actually the first international dark sky city. Fun fact. Tell us more about that. That's all I know. It's on the sign when you drive into town. Okay.

Okay, wonderful. The stargazing here is amazing. Like just walking out in my front yard, it's pretty incredible. Yeah, we were endlessly entertained by it every night we were in Sedona. Loved it. Also, we loved Enchantment, the hotel. Have you been there? Yeah. Beautiful burger by the pool. Oh, we loved it.

Okay, so Carrie, you have a crazy beach story, which couldn't have taken place in Flagstaff. Not in Flagstaff. This actually took place in Hawaii. So this story took place in 2014. My boyfriend Kevin and I had planned a Christmas vacation to Hawaii.

He had been there a few times for work. It was my first time visiting. So he planned most of the trip. We're pretty outdoorsy people, so we spend most weekends hiking, camping, backpacking. So the pinnacle of our trip to Hawaii was going to be a three-day, two-night backpacking trip on the Kau Lau Trail. What island are you on? Kauai. The Kau Lau Trail is an 11-mile point-to-point trail along the Nepali coast.

And it has been named one of the most beautiful hikes in America, but also one of the most dangerous. Because people live out there, right? My last week of drinking was 20 years ago coming up and it was there. And my friend and I went to the mouth of that trailhead. Two people from the mainland that were on vacation were coming out of there absolutely terrorized because someone cut up their tent with a machete and needed a ride to town. And I was like, what's going on on this trail? And

And here we have a story about it. Well, luckily, that isn't the type of danger we encountered. Thank God. Okay. But good to know. We actually had pretty good experiences with the locals who lived at the end of the trail on Kalalau Beach. But one of the reasons that the trail is super dangerous is there are a bunch of really exposed sections of trail where you're essentially hiking on the edge of a cliff. And it parts, it narrows down to like one to two feet wide. Oh, my God.

There's a section of the trail called Crawler's Ledge, and it's just notorious for being very scary and a little dangerous. So the trail is about one foot wide, and you're walking on the edge of a cliff that goes down about 100 feet to sharp rocks and waves crashing against them. And you're wearing a big backpack, presumably? Yeah, a big backpacking backpack, probably like 40 or 50 pounds. So it's definitely a no-fall zone. Oh, my God.

God, scary. And my hands are sweaty just thinking about it. I had watched a couple YouTube videos about Crawler's Ledge before the trip, which was probably not a great idea. So I was a little nervous. But like I said, I'm like a big hiker, so I felt like I could handle it. So we start our trip.

And it was an 11 mile hike to the end of the trail, which ends at a beach called Kalalau Beach. So our plan was to hike in the first day, camp at Kalalau Beach for two nights and then hike out. Our hike in was actually pretty uneventful. Crawler's Ledge was a little scary, but we made it through without any issues, no trips or falls. And the worst part of the trail was actually the mud.

The trail was super sloppy and slippery and very hilly. So like going down steep hills and super slippery mud was a little dicey. And it was at this time that Kevin told me that December can be a pretty rainy season in Hawaii. And Kauai had just gotten a ton of rain. I was unaware of that.

in the moment. But we made it through the mud, made it to Kalalau Beach that afternoon. And it's just a stunning white sand beach. There's a 200-foot waterfall in the background, really idyllic. So we set up our tent and spent the rest of the day exploring around, visited some caves, saw the sunset.

Went to bed, the next morning we woke up to a beautiful day, sunny, and we spent a few hours exploring some nearby trails and just lounging on the beach.

And after a few hours, I looked at Kevin and said, I kind of feel like we've seen all there is to see. Do you just want to go ahead and hike out today? I figured it's a nice day. We can hike out this afternoon. Our trip was like kind of coming to a close. So I thought it would just be more time to explore Kauai. And Kevin said, no, absolutely not. We are camping the second night and sticking to the plan. Didn't fight him on that.

A few hours later, we were sitting at camp making dinner and I saw on the horizon some very dark storm clouds. And I was like, I knew it. I just had this feeling earlier in the day that this might happen. So the storm clouds just continued to build and build and get closer to the beach until it ended up just being an outright downpour. So we retreated back into the tent and for the rest of the night, it was like the heaviest rain ever.

I think I've ever experienced. And I've done a lot of camping in the rain. Our tent was set up, I would say several hundred yards from the beach. But in the middle of the night, in the darkness, you could just hear the waves crashing against the shore and getting louder and louder and like closer and closer to our tent. So I woke Kevin up a few times and asked if we needed to move to higher ground. And he kept assuring me we were okay. All

All right. Strike two, Kevin. Okay. I know. So morning came and the good news was that our tent didn't get washed away to sea. But the bad news was that it was still raining. The rest of that next day, it never stopped raining. So we went over 24 hours with a constant heavy rain. We only left our tent to pee and then we just like scurried back in. We did all of our cooking underneath the rain fly.

Was it cold? It was, yeah. And obviously, I was not prepared for cold going to Hawaii. So I maybe had like one long sleeve shirt. Everything was muddy. The water and mud was like seeping into our tent. Oh, fuck this. And that was the day that we...

we're supposed to hike back out. Obviously that wasn't gonna happen. We were just kind of stuck in our tent. So we also were kind of low on food. We had only packed two dinners for like a two night trip. So we had enough to ration for the rest of that day and night. The next day when we woke up,

The rain was a little more spotty on that fourth day, so we were able to finally emerge from our tent and assess the damage. And this pristine Kalalau beach had turned into a hurricane zone. There was a ton of debris all over the beach.

down tree limbs everywhere. It had been hit hard. At this point, we basically had no food left and the rain was still kind of coming and going, but it had subsided enough where we felt like we could start exploring around and assessing the situation.

We met a few other campers. There were probably two dozen people camped on the beach. Everyone had permits to camp there for however many nights. And we met another couple around our age, Kristen and Steve. And so the four of us joined forces to figure out what we were going to do. Another thing that makes the Kalalau Trail dangerous is there are three stream crossings in that 11 miles.

And with heavy rain, those streams can turn into like raging rivers. Oh, boy. So that was our first obstacle that we had to figure out if we could overcome. And the first stream crossing was about a mile outside of camp. So the four of us hiked to it. And when we arrived, it was sure enough like a raging river.

river, easily four feet deep. And I'm like barely five too. So there was no way I was getting across that river. Any of us were safely. So I remember like standing on the shore of the river, just staring at the raging current and thinking like, could we send...

Kevin, who was like 6'4", across with a rope and set up a hand line. But the water was way too strong. So we decided against that idea and kind of retreated back to camp with...

with our tails between our legs and realized, okay, we're going to have to stay one more night again with no food and having no idea what the weather forecast was. Do you have water? Are you claiming it from the rain? Are you trying to gather some? I don't have a super good memory of that. I'm sure we had a water filter and...

Where the waterfall was, I would imagine that there was like clean water there to filter. So we were back at camp on, this would be day four, the reality setting in that the day before we were supposed to have hiked out, we had a hotel reservation, like a super nice hotel that we were missing. So the next day...

was Christmas Eve. And we woke up on Christmas Eve, really nice day again, like sunny. And we were like, okay, maybe someone will come rescue us. Maybe a boat will come. The waves were super choppy. So some of the locals, they told all of us, there's no way these waves are way too bad. A little boat is not going to make it out here. You guys are just going to have to wait. Oh,

So I was sitting at camp kind of pouting when I heard a helicopter. And I was like, this is too good to be true. Is this really happening? I finally spotted it in the sky, this like tiny red helicopter that eventually landed in a little clearing near our camp. So everyone, you know, 20 or so campers all sprinted over to the helicopter. The pilot hopped out and he said,

are Johnny and David Henderson here. I can't remember their actual names, but called out two names. And these two teenagers, they looked like they could not have been older than 17, raised their hands like kind of sheepishly in the crowd. They're like, that's us. Yeah, they're embarrassed all of a sudden. Anyone else would be delighted to hear their names. Yeah, I was like, please call my name. I want to get out of here. The pilot said, I'm here to take you guys back to the trailhead. Grab your stuff.

Let's go. So basically what had happened was these kids were pretty young. I think that they were like seniors in high school and their mom went to pick them up at the airport in New York two days before and they weren't there. And I don't know what the cell phone service is like on

on Kalalau Beach now, but 10 years ago it was non-existent. So we had no service. I feel like back then no one had inReach devices or like sat phones. So we were just totally cut off from communication. And so their mom was freaking out.

and calling the Coast Guard like every 30 minutes. But the weather had been so bad that a helicopter could not land. So this was like the first window of good weather where the helicopter was able to land. So the two kids got their stuff loaded up in the helicopter.

And this helicopter was pretty small. It was only a three-seater. So the co-pilot had to stay behind while the two kids got taken to safety. So we all start chatting with the co-pilot and we were like, are you going to be able to take us all back to the parking lot? And

And he said, no, we just came to get these guys because they're under 18 and their mom's worried. You guys are safe. You have shelter. We'll do a bulk food drop. It'll tide you over for the next week or so. And you just need to wait. A week or so. Oh, my God. Not we're going to call the Coast Guard. They'll come get you. Why can't they just come back?

Come back and get you guys. Well, they're privateers, but why wouldn't the Coast Guard? Seems like the Coast Guard should. There's also a military base on that island.

Can't we get the military involved? I can't remember who it was that came to get us. I actually talked to my little sister about this story earlier today, and her memory of it was that it was the National Guard. Right. That makes sense. But it was a tiny little helicopter. And he said, you know, you guys aren't in any danger. You have shelter. It's not supposed to storm for several days. You just have to wait for the trail to dry out.

and for the stream crossings to go down and you can hike yourselves out whenever that is. - Tough love they gave you. - Yes, seriously. - I just kept thinking like tomorrow is Christmas. I'm spending Christmas starving on this beach that is now

not even that pretty. It was like debris covered beach. Everything's muddy and cold. Also, we had flights home maybe two or three days later. So not only were we missing our really nice hotel and a hot shower, but we might miss our flight home and work and everything else. So I was standing in the crowd of people on the verge of tears when the helicopter came back to pick up the co-pilot

landed again, the pilot hopped out and said, I'll take two more people right now. Who wants to go? And my hands like just shot up like a bat out of hell. He pointed right at me and like waved me over. So the next thing I know, I'm coming into this little helicopter along with my new friend, Kristen, who I had met the day before. So we hop in and we're sitting in the helicopter, staring out at our boyfriends still in the crowd, just looking back at us with

looks of disbelief well good though you know you could have been out of there the day before two days before yeah kevin also he's taller okay yeah he might get through the water maybe yeah yeah this is the right move i'm all for this kristin i got the most epic tour of the nepali coast this little helicopter was doorless and i was on the end so it was like an unobstructed view of

These really lush green mountains and 300-foot waterfalls all over the place. So we landed back at the trailhead. It dawned on us that we didn't have a car key. We didn't have our wallets. We didn't have our backpacks. We literally had nothing except our phones. No one to call. I mean, the hotel we were staying at was clear on the other side of the island. Oh, yeah.

So we asked the pilot, are you going to keep making trips back and forth? And he said, we're going to go for a little bit while we still have fuel and then we're going to have to stop.

So we had no idea still if we were actually going to make it out of now the trailhead parking lot. So we'd gotten a little bit closer to civilization, but weren't really back yet. So the next helicopter came back. And as it got closer, we looked up and saw two guys who are not our boyfriends. And then the helicopter went back again, came back with people who, again, were not our boyfriends. And this just happened over and over. And maybe on like the seventh or eighth trip,

They finally arrived. Wow. We were reunited. And I think we got like one night in our hotel before having to go home. Oh my God.

What a disaster. Makes me never want to do something like that. Exactly. But you're undeterred, right? You kept hiking trails. Undeterred. And I think if I would have had that experience now, it wouldn't have bothered me as much. But at the time, I was 24. This was maybe like my second or third backpacking trip ever. So I wasn't as hardened as I probably am now. It reminds me of your mushroom trip. There is some element that you should have been like, well...

I guess we're going to have Christmas on a beach. Yeah. And I'm going to embrace this. Oof, that's rough. Good luck though, trying that. Yeah. It'd be a big mental challenge. Oh, Carrie, what a harrowing tale. Thanks for sharing it. You're both amazing. Thank you so much for everything you do. Thank you. And Monica, especially you for Race to 35. I'm not even...

going to have children. But just listening to an entire podcast series that was focused on women's health and women's experiences was really incredible. So I hope you know how many people you touched and not just people who are hoping to become mothers, but just women in general. Thanks. I appreciate that so much. Oh, I like that compliment. Thank you, Carrie. Nice meeting you. You too. Have a great day. All right. You too. Take care.

Buddy, I'm so proud of you. We hear that so much. Good job. Thanks. It was a pretty special project. Good job, young man. I'm a young lady. Don't take that from me. You're a cookie boy.

I am a cookie. Oh, my God. I'm like, I'm really wrung out over that last one. Yeah, I feel like we just hiked a lot. Yeah, I felt trapped for a minute. My instinct of why don't they just keep taking these people? They did do that. Yeah, but they didn't want to write any checks they couldn't cash. So it was better to over-deliver. Under-promise and over-deliver. Exactly. That's a takeaway. Well, I love you. I love you. And I guess stay away from the beach, you know?

This summer. Don't worry. I don't get on horses. I don't get in the water. You don't hike. I don't love a hike. You don't ride jet skis. Nope. And I don't play with sharks. Right. So, I'm fine. Three of the four could have happened to me, but not. You don't get on horses. I know the parking lot. You're right. I've been burned. Do you like that kind of hike? No. I'm telling you, Dean and I were there, and these girls came out terrified, like they had seen the devil the night before. Yeah. Yeah.

At the time, there was a really bad ice epidemic. I don't know if that's still the case there, but a lot of dudes were up four or five days out there, you know, losing their mind. Oh, you mean ice meth? Ice the meth, smoking meth. Oh, I thought you meant ice on the trail. Both are really bad. All right, well, love you. Love you too. Do you want to sing a tune or something? We know a theme song.

Okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions, and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly, I rhyme-ish. On the fly, I rhyme-ish. Enjoy.