Shownotes Transcript
Hi. Are you in a hotel? No, I'm at Heather's place in her guest room. So no bunk bed for me. No bunk bed. Do you miss it? You know, I...
I don't. That's understandable. How are you? How's LA? LA's good. We're just coming out of a holiday weekend. It was very chill. It was nice. Did you relax? Did you take time off? I wasn't sure if you were going to work. I worked some, but I had some relaxation time. I've been watching a ton of Doody Yesterday's Flightless Bird, Six Feet Under. You're still in your Six Feet Under binge. I'm on season two now.
It's so interesting. It makes me want to talk about death with you. I feel like that's one of our top three topics. Definitely one of our top three thoughts, for sure. But first, I want to hear, because you're in New York, and you've been in New York for about a week. Yes, I've been here for a week. It's been the best. The only thing that rivals May New York is September New York.
And I think I'd still choose May, although I do love September. Oh, but within like a few minutes of getting here, I thought of you. I didn't text you about it because I wanted to tell you on the show. But I had a married man event. Oh, my God. Within the first few minutes of just like walking in the streets. What happened? So a meeting outside. We'll do a shout out. Sweet green. I don't think they need it. But wow, that's not what I expected in New York. Liz!
I'm basic, okay? Also, to be clear, I was a sweet green. I was part of the OG group. Like, I liked sweet green before everyone else did when it was just like there was one shop in the West Village. Anyway, I don't know. I just needed something fast and quick. And I just sat outside and ate my salad. And then this guy walks by. He, like, looks at me and then I kind of look at him. And then he double takes and then I look at him again. And then I'm like, okay, whatever. Keep eating my salad. Then he U-turns, comes back.
And he's like, hey, are you Liz? And I was like, yeah. He's like, I've been following your work. And then we like are totally flirting. Then at one point he's like, should I sit down? And I was like, yeah. Oh my God. What?
Literally half an hour into this conversation, I notice the ring. Not to victim blame, but at this point, I guess I got to like scan the hands. I just assumed based on the vibe that this was like full on. And so then I see the ring and I'm like so confused because again, at the beginning, one of the things he said was like, oh, like I don't drink. And I was like, yeah, I stopped drinking a while ago. Like, how do you find dating? I asked him a literal question about dating. He didn't say like, I'm married. Right.
What? Wait, this is so bad of him. Well, at one point he was like, let's get breakfast while here. And I was like, you're married, right? And then he's like, yeah, but my wife is a big fan. I've been texting her. I'm with Liz Flank. And then I was like, OK, we're not meeting for breakfast. Thank you. But like, you know, so it ended in a jovial matter. But I was left speechless.
I think I'm just not going to be open to hot strangers who are my age. What was the kind of conversation you were having? I think this is indicative. Was it about your work? Not really. Like, it was very all over the place and like making jokes about Seinfeld episodes that we liked. It wasn't like you're hot. Like, it wasn't like sexual, which would have been weird anyways. But it was definitely like...
To me, flirty. But I guess if you're texting your wife about it, it's fine. Weird. Anyway, so yeah, I just legitimately don't... I guess it's a thing. Women will be like, check men's hands for rings. And I think I don't. I just go off a vibe, I guess. I also feel like a lot of people aren't married or are divorced. So I don't think about it. But I guess I have to. Well, also in Canada, they don't get married as much, you said. So maybe you're just not as aware of the ring. Yes. Well, it's not... Yes, there are other...
ways of signifying your love to each other than getting married. I will say I do think I look at that more than I think if there is a hot guy. I do think I scan their hand quickly. It's almost subconscious. I think it's sort of ingrained here. And even though I like that in Canada, they...
show their love in much different ways. I will say this is easy to just see like, oh, yeah, no. Yes. This has cemented the need for me to be a little bit, yeah, less optimistic. I mean, it was a nice conversation. If I'd known he was married, I probably would have. I mean, anyway, we've already talked about this, but he got so much validation out of it. And I was just like, OK, now I feel worse. Exactly. I don't want to continue this life.
like hang out. But he was like very confused and I was like, I don't know how else to explain this to you. Okay, if you were married here in America and so you had rings and then your husband said, because I know this about a lot of men, they like don't like it.
They say it's like comfort, right? And to be fair, most men aren't as used to having jewelry on their hand as women are. Stereotypically, I'm speaking in generalizations there, obviously. But I know some men who don't want to wear it or don't wear it or like Dax doesn't have one. He has a tattoo instead.
of a bell. And I think another one of my friends says something like that because they don't like the feeling of the jewelry. But what would happen if you were married and then like a month in, your husband said, Liz, I just like hate this ring. Like I don't like wearing it. I fidget with it all the time. All I do is take it off and drop it. And
I don't want to wear it anymore. What would you say? That's such a good question. So I know I shouldn't be putting things out there that are bad, but I'm going to put it out there that if I ever get married, there's a 99%. Like I've already accepted that I will probably lose the ring. Oh my God. It's just going to happen. I lose really important things all the time. So I identify with, well, maybe it wouldn't be the discomfort as much as the like,
that I would lose it or like my Invisalign, like to me is like the closest thing to an engagement ring. I lost that a lot of times. You know, you need to put it down and remember where you put it down. And so I don't think I would mind. I guess if I have no inkling that this is because he wants to flirt with people, if the relationship is secure, right? Like everything's
Like everything depends on the relationship being secure. Of course. There's so many times that I've been so upset about things when I've dated one person and then can't imagine being upset over that with another person. Right. Like and when I look back at those relationships, I'm like it made so much sense in the context of the relationship because the relationship wasn't secure. And so if the relationship was really secure, yeah, I probably wouldn't mind. And then it'd be kind of cool. You can get matching tattoos, which kind of is fun. How would you feel?
I do understand the idea that that's not comfortable. But I also like the idea of my husband having, like, an acknowledgement of our marriage on their person. I do like that because I guess I'm so traditional. I'm a trad wife. I'm going to be a trad wife. Yeah.
You becoming a trad wife would be the biggest plot twist in American history. I know. I kind of want that to happen. This actually is something I've been thinking about. Do you ever think about doing like a full pivot? There's this Republican senator or sorry, he's running for office. Okay.
I can't remember where, but he was an NFL player, was super pro Black Lives Matter, was like a huge advocate. And now he's totally done a 180. He recently said that women are becoming too mouthy. That's the quote. Why is that the new thing circling our streets?
I mean, what the fuck? It's really concerning. Anyway, I was just reading about this guy and he just basically did this 180 where he was very progressive and he's like on Alex Jones. Like he's full on conspiracy theory. Like women have gone too mouthy. Republican Senate candidate in Minnesota, Royce White. And sorry, he was a former pro basketball player. That's you being mouthy, getting it wrong. Exactly. Exactly.
Mouthy is also so coded. Ugh. Who put that thumbs up? Did you notice that little thumbs up? Oh, to me? Oh, yeah. Yours is doing all kinds of stuff. It'll do a heart. Oh, wow. I mean, thumbs up also means fuck you in text speak. Oh, it does? It's like putting a period at the end of a text. Oh, I don't know.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I do not abide by that. If you thumbs up a text, you know, the thumbs up, you can heart a text now. So if you thumbs up something, Rob just thumbs up my last text. If you thumbs up something, it's like no worries with a period. It means like fine. I disagree. It depends on...
on who you're talking to. I think thumbs up is professional. Depends on who I'm talking to and what I'm doing, but I don't always like a heart. Heart is very familiar. And sometimes whatever we're talking about isn't conducive to a heart. I'm all for a thumbs up. I'll use it if someone's like,
I'll be there in five minutes or like, do you want the low fat yogurt? Then I'll thumbs up it as like a shorthand to yes. But I think if it's like Kat's boyfriend, they live together and Kat's boyfriend had like done a favor for Kat's parents. And so he sent this text saying like, hey, I just emptied out your da da da da da. And then Kat's dad like thumbs upped it. And Kat had to explain to her dad like...
the difference between a heart and a thumbs up. That a thumbs up can come across as like a little bit...
Not passive aggressive. It's just like, why aren't you writing something? It feels like, yeah, it feels like you're doing that instead of like engaging with what the person is saying. But that's the whole point of those things is so you don't have to engage. It's just like, I'm acknowledging this, but there's no reason to be writing anything because you don't feel that way with the heart. Heart's the same thing. Okay. I'm just thinking of like a situation with my roommate. Let's say that I'm like, hey,
I accidentally used some of your eggs. Gonna replace them. If she were to, like, thumbs up that. Instead of, like, no worries. Yeah. I think I would be like, oh, she's, she must be. I see. I mean, but if she just hearted it.
I would feel the same way. I do think if you're apologizing for something or you're showing up with some sort of emotion and that the response is only one of those little like shortcuts, then I agree it is a little passive aggressive regardless of what the actual thing is. And I think there's still a tear that like the heart would hurt a little less, but the thumbs up
would signal, I think you're right that in some situations putting a heart is like weird or like too intimate. Yeah, it's too intimate. The heart is intimate. But what do you think is like
Sending up Purple Heart versus hearting something is different. Happy Memorial Day. Purple Hearts are for Happy Memorial Day. If you send me a Purple Heart, I know you're saying Happy Memorial Day. If you send me a Blue Heart, I think you're saying I'm at the hospital. If you send a Red Heart, classic.
Pink heart, I'm a baby. Or like the hand heart. I just think there's like a heart, there's tears. I feel like there's a conversation about this. Like at first, even if you're dating someone, you don't send a red heart. No. Like you can send a purple heart. No. No hearts at first. Well, not the first date, but if you guys are dating, I think it's fine. So you only send red hearts if you've said I love you? Well,
Well, maybe not I love you, but that you're like exclusive. That you're clearly like falling in love. Interesting. I am a smiley face girl for a while. It's going to be a minute before you get a heart. Most people don't. I mean, most people I'm dating. I mean, I don't get far enough in that they've received hearts. Have you ever sent a red heart? I mean, it's hard for me to know because I send them all the time to my friends. I do send red hearts a lot, but dating...
Do you send red hearts to guys that you're not dating that are your friends? Yeah. Or is that inappropriate? I mean, I don't think it is. I think I sent a red heart to Charlie this morning. I would feel...
a little weird about it. If it happened, I would be like, I should probably choose a different color. Any of the people in my close friend group, Dax, Charlie, Eric, Matt, Jess, definitely, they all get red hearts from me. Am I skipping some? Oh, Ryan. Yeah, they all get red hearts. I have no worries about that. But that's because they're all family. It's a different tier. You know what's interesting?
Well, I was going to say, I don't know if I would send a red heart to Callie's husband, but maybe I would. I think I would. Now I'm just overthinking it. If it's anyone I feel safe with,
With, then yeah, I feel fine about it. I think I've sent Rob a red heart. Have I? Yeah, I think so. There you go. Oh, wow. See, in the case of Charlie and Eric and all that stuff, you're friends of them independently. They're not your friend's boyfriend or husband. They're your friend. Individual relationships. Yeah. Heather's boyfriend, like, I would never send a red heart. Like, that would be weird. That's so inappropriate. It would be insane. Oh, my God.
No, but it would make me... Yeah, I would just not do that. It's different if they're your friend versus... I mean, it's all these like relationships are so funny. Hold on. I want to check something. Okay. I thought for a second that I sent a red heart to someone I was talking to for a second who ghosted me, but I didn't. I just checked. Thank God. Dodged a bullet. Oh my God. Oh my God.
He does not deserve, not even a purple heart. He doesn't deserve Memorial Day? He doesn't deserve any heart emoji. What do you think yellow heart means? Happy spring. I feel like yellow heart is the least romantic. Okay, very friendly. Yeah, very friendly, unassuming, non-threatening. It's light. I'm not a yellow heart girl. Yellow heart girls are like Hufflepuffs. Sorry. I know there's so many Hufflepuffs out there and they're great. I'm not...
I'm not against Huffles, but that's a very, like, friendly, warm person who sends a yellow heart. And that's not my personality. What do you think is the most popular color of heart? Red. I feel like it's probably purple. You think it's purple? I think it's pink or red. Rob, can you look it up? Yeah. We're all on Zoom for the listener. Okay.
I don't like purple. There's something about purple, even though purple is my favorite color. There's something about it that gives me like... Yeah, it's the red one. Yes.
Is there a first, second, and third? I'm seeing meanings. There's purple heart, commonly used to represent love, support, close bonds, and admiration for things. Blue, loyalty, trust, and tranquility. Green is nature, growth, and harmony. That's like very obvious. I've never used green in my life. Oh, I've used green. Sometimes I like trying them out. Yellow is liking and friendship.
as opposed to romantic love. There we go. Yeah, we knew. It's all pretty intuitive. I think that these are definitions that are like etched in stone. Although to me, purple has a sadness to it. So that's why I don't love it.
Blue has a little bit of a sadness to it, but also in a sexy way. It's like a longing. Oh, interesting. Blue is an I miss you for me. Yeah, there's some depth to blue. Oh, ding, ding, ding. Oh, depth. I thought you said death. Oh, yeah.
Death is depth. Oh, God. Tell me about it. But do you want to talk about death or do you want to keep talking about emojis? I think we've exhausted emojis. Well, we haven't actually because Dax and I got in a like not a fight, but a quarrel about an emoji because I've been using this girl a little bit.
Yeah, you told me. You've been using it on me, too. Yeah, I like it. I like her. I want to be her. I think that's sort of, to me, she's carefree. She's like, I don't care. Like, it's fine. Whatever. Shrug emoji. Dax thinks that's apathetic, which it is, but I take that in a positive way. Like,
Apathetic, like, doesn't really matter. Who cares? Nonchalant. Yeah, nonchalant. You know what I don't feel about? Death at all. Okay, something horrible happened. So I've been watching Six Feet Under, a show about death. We've talked about it. And it's old, so it's fun because it's from early 2000s, early aughts. And when we did this episode of Flightless Bird, we showed scenes of
from our favorite episodes. And one of David's favorite episodes is the finale of the series. And so he showed the final scene, which is how everyone passes, basically. Like it was so beautiful, but I didn't know any of the characters, right? So it didn't mean anything. It was just like, oh, wow, yeah, that's a beautiful ending. And yesterday I was editing that episode. And while I was editing it, I thought, oh, I kind of want to rewatch that.
Bad idea for a few reasons. One, it was then so devastating because now I know them. And two, there was a huge spoiler. It was so bad and I was crying so hard for so long. Oh. And I couldn't get over it. It was getting very existential. Like, I could not believe people die. It's really not okay. It's not nice. We do not...
think about death nearly as much as we should because it would make life very difficult. If you were thinking about the fact that every single person around you or you could die at any moment, like you wouldn't want to go to work, like you wouldn't want to do the boring things of life. You would just want to enjoy every single moment that you have with every single person. But it's wild that we don't think about it.
I know. It's the only way out. That final scene of the show, because at the beginning of the show, I think we talked about this, the cold open is a death, and then that's the person in the casket for the episode. So there's like a little scene where somebody dies, and then the screen goes white, and you see Jeffrey K. Williams dying.
1959 to 2001. Then the show starts. And I just had this overwhelming feel like I was just going through all the people in my head and thinking like we are all going to have a timestamp and we don't know what it is. And it is so overwhelming. And my therapist told me to start doing some more present moment practices. And obviously I haven't been doing them.
So this is like not the show for me to be doing right now when I'm supposed to be doing present moment practices. But it's so good. Thinking about death does make you appreciate the present moment. Like, weirdly, I feel like turning 37, for whatever reason, the number just feels like closer to 40. I mean, it's the closest to 40 I've ever been. But there's something about it where...
In the last few months, I've been weirdly realizing it's going to end. 40 is so young and I'm not even 40. But weirdly, like I've gone from being quote unquote young or like feeling like whatever, like you don't think about how much time you'll have to like now I kind of do. And it's kind of nice. It does make me appreciate my life a little bit more, like when I can sort of connect with that deeper self.
you know, instead of just like wrinkles or like noticing I'm getting old in negative ways. I'm like, oh, wow, like this goes by fast. I like relate to old people now, like the way that old people talk where they're like one day you're going to it's going to blink and you're going to be, you know, or my parents were in their 70s being like, I still feel like I'm 27. Like, oh, right. I'm going to feel this way even when I'm their age. And like, I just relate to aging in a different way, I think. But.
You're young. You're still 36. Does this allow you to be thankful for life or are you just in the anxiety part? So I was really in high anxiety mode, but then I did step back. I mean, it's such a cliche. Like, it just sounds so cheesy. But death is why life is meaningful. If we didn't have it, it wouldn't be. And so it's such a fucked up divine concept.
tragic comedy that we all come here, we all fall in love, and then we all experience death. It's crazy. Life is crazy that it's designed this way. It's beautiful. Like, it is beautiful that we all have some time on this earth and we do stuff here, you know, and then we leave. Sometimes you need that. It's like, I felt like the eclipse did that for me for some weird reason. Because
Because you don't think about life while you're living. You just live. It's like you don't think about breathing while you breathe. When you're not able to breathe is when you really think about breathing and that's all you can think about, right? Yeah, Heimlich. Coming back to the Heimlich. Self-imposed Heimlich. But no, you're right. You're right. And so the eclipse for me was like, I don't think about the fact that we're living in this universe. Like, that's wild. The solar system in the universe and like we're on a floating rock. Like, yeah, you don't. I don't think about that on a daily basis. But the eclipse kind of forces you to and you're like,
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Sync is sponsored by BetterHelp. We love BetterHelp. We love therapy. We talk about it all the time. The benefits are like you can't even quantify or qualify the benefits over time. Like my therapist said is a phrase that comes out of my mouth four times a day.
It's also I feel like I've benefited so much from other people being in therapy. Yeah. Like I just feel like friends and family and, you know, in my relationships, if I know that someone is in therapy or has done therapy, it just I know it's going to be so much more of a healthier, easier relationship.
Yeah, just the world is so much better when more of us are in therapy. And if you yourself are struggling or you know someone who is struggling, trying better help or like offering better help to someone is such a nice thing to do. It's an easy way to enter therapy. It's online.
It's convenient. It's flexible. You can work around your schedule, which is the hardest part of therapy. And you just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist. And then you can switch therapists if it's not working for you, which is great. Take a moment. Visit BetterHelp.com slash S-Y-N-C-E-D today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash S-Y-N-C-E-D. I also had the thought.
And this is not to alienate anyone because I really understand religiosity and I understand the need and the desire to believe in a divine power or someone or something that's orchestrating all of this. I get it. But also, it feels to me sometimes that that idea and that mentality, giving ownership to a god,
kind of robs life of its actual magic. It is magic. All of this is incredible. It's almost hard to believe it's real. I think sometimes handing it over to a god is...
is unfair a little bit because I think it's special on its own. It's like life is beautiful and wonderful and magical and awful and all these things on its own. I know often we need answers and we need like reasons and we need control and that's why a lot of these things sprout. But I
I don't know. It's like, to me, it's kind of okay that we just all exist and that's special on its own. Yeah, I think having a higher power, from my understanding of it, it's actually relinquishing control. Realizing that, like, in many ways, the weather system is God. You don't have to, I think, believe in a guy in the sky to believe in God. There are forces that are beyond God.
And so it's a way to relinquish actually sort of the idea that, yeah, you're in control here or you're the complete master of your own faith, which like I've had to work really hard because it helps me when I think that there's a higher meaning or a higher order and that me trying to do everything I can to like reverse that is just making the universe kind of laugh because it's so much more powerful than me. But yeah.
But I see your point, meaning that like you don't even need to create someone, right, that's like pulling the strings in order to be in awe. I think everyone should believe whatever they believe and whatever gets you through is great. But I even think needing there to be a force bigger than us in order to say, you know what, I don't have control here.
is also a mechanism, right? As opposed to just knowing this is part of existence, you don't have control. I mean, it's just much harder. But I don't know. I just find it interesting. And then I do think there is control in a lot of organized religions about
afterlife and stuff. Like there is like, well, if I do this, then I have that after. And that comes, I do believe, from needing security and safety that like, I'll see these people again, which I get. I wish I believed it because I think I would be so much less upset and anxious about
Oh, yeah, it's all fine. I'll see them again. That was the hardest part of doing any 12 step for me was this higher power stuff because I was like I was never raised in that. And like it still is hard for me. Yeah, I'm jealous of people who just do it naturally or like effortlessly or like really believe it. Whereas I have to really get in the mood. Yeah.
But love is a higher power. When you think about like what happens to you when you're in love or love somebody, it's profound, like it's intangible and it is the real source of life. And so sanctified that because one of my friends just yesterday was talking about
how relationships have higher powers. She was like, oh, you don't have to figure out this thing. Like your relationship with this person like has a higher power. And just that I was like, oh, wow, that's so nice to like think about. Yeah, I don't have to like do all these things or figure it out or fix it or like write that there's a higher order of things and it'll happen if it's meant to happen and it won't if it doesn't kind of takes away like some of the on my end, like neuroticism around it.
But yeah, that's literally what she said. And so it's so funny. It's very similar to what you just shared, which like is a helpful way to approach like dating and relation. I mean, any kind of relationship, whatever that means to you. Right. I mean, some people it's like the whole like no free will thing that there's no free will anyways. So I don't have to go down rabbit holes or control everything. Right. Because it's already decided in a way. I know I'm on the fence of
about free will. I mean, I don't think it's all or nothing. And I think a lot of people in this debate do think it's all or nothing. I definitely like when we had Robert Sapolsky on and his book Determined is about determinism and free will. And, you know, some people ask us a lot
What's the one thing you've taken from the show, from Armchair after doing like 700 episodes or whatever? Which is a hard answer. Normally, my answer is that no one knows anything actually. Because you hear from this expert and they know everything. And then another expert on the same topic that also knows everything has a completely different take. Again, it's not all or nothing. It's we take pieces of
But anyway, I think actually something that has changed my perspective after doing this show is this Robert Sapolsky episode because he really, I mean, we like know it sort of ephemerally, but this is the first time it's stuck with me that we do not have any control over our fundamental circumstances in life. And that sets the stage for life in such everything. And
literally everything in such a real way. And so it has changed my opinion on so many things. One, like everyone who's just trying to take credit for the things they have, like, sorry, you can't. And also easing up on people, you know, just like not being so punitive, not being so judgmental. It's like no one chose. Even when people make holes
horrible decisions. And I'm not saying like we shouldn't have a justice system. There should be repercussions and consequences, but there should also be grace across the board and a lack of judgment and definitely a lack of superiority.
Because there's so much like, oh, my God, I would never do that. I could never do that. Yeah, you could never because you have a life that's completely different than that person's. And you have no idea what you are capable of doing in that circumstance. So it's definitely changed the way I...
view that. It's a great thing to remember that particularly the most important things of your life were totally determined. And the things you think you worked so hard for, you did. Like no one's taking away that you worked hard, but the ability to work harder, the things behind that you didn't pick and you got lucky. Like we're all so lucky. We are so lucky. Anywho, anything else on death before we do questions?
I wanted to ask you about the hot rodent boyfriend trend. What's that? Oh, my God. Hot rodent? Ew. I already hate this, but I want to hear it. I know. Also, look, when I went to the store the other day, a different store, they had my soaps that were on last week's gift guide. Oh, my God. I can smell them all the way from here. This one is a new scent, orange, and it smells so good. I can't wait to come smell it. It's such a weird thing to say. Okay.
Okay, what's hot rodent? Okay, hot rodent boyfriend is we're moving away from golden retriever boyfriend, which was the previous ideal of the boyfriend that is very doting and overly interested in pleasing and being of service.
And now Hot Rodent Boyfriend Summer, it's coming from the Challengers movie. Apparently there were a lot of memes, internet commentary about the fact that the two guys in the movie kind of look like rats. Oh my God, that's so rude. Not in a negative way. What?
I guess there's a movie with like rats from our childhood or something like that. And like women have been like, oh, I had such a crush on the rat in the movie. Like, do you know how like we definitely all had crushes on cartoon characters? Like, I don't know who your man crush or female crush was or animal crush, which is sounds weird. But when you're a kid, I've just never liked animals or cartoons. You wouldn't have fucked with Simba. Fucked Simba or fucked with? Fucked with. Fucked with. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
God. Simba's a baby. And most importantly, a lion. Like, I think that... In the order of... Yeah, just like the things you don't want to do. No, actually for me, worst is that he's a child. Then he's a lion. Then he's a cartoon. Yes. Well, human baby versus animal, I would have to... Yeah. But baby lion, I would focus on the lion part. Okay, lion piece.
Well, this is telling. Like, if we're talking about that movie in particular, the most attractive one to me isn't Simba. Simba's so childlike, obviously, because he's a child. It'd be Mufasa. Oh, okay.
Twist? You like Mufasa even though he's the villain? No, Mufasa's the dad. Oh. Scar is the villain. Scar. Okay, for a minute I thought you meant Scar. And I was like, we got to do a deep dive on that. No, Mufasa, the nice dad who dies. Spoiler. Is it your fetish that you would have taken care of him while he was dying? Yeah, probably. But also, no, he was this capable, strong, nice dad.
dad. And then they killed him. I mean, Disney movies and killing parents, it is so fucked up. The way they just killed so many parents. Yeah, who's the hottest character? I had a major crush on Thumper and
the skunk what's her name and bambi let me look her up i wanted both of them but that was a common theme for me as a kid like i was obsessed with couples because i think i was already bisexual oh interesting i loved lois and clark like lois and clark the explorers no no no the real with um with laurie what's her name no tori spelling oh like superman terry hatcher terry hatcher oh my god a
Wait, and then Christopher Reeves? Dean Cain. Okay, hold on. You're making me look up a lot of stuff. The skunk's name in Bambi is Flower. Oh, it's Flower? Such a hot name. Flower and Thumper. Dean Cain is an American actor and police officer. I interviewed him recently and I told him I had such a crush on him, even though we have vastly different political beliefs. He's on the other end. Yeah, I'm not liking some of these
things I'm seeing. Yeah, yeah. It would be an unlikely romance. But I loved couple, like, I think I just wanted
to being a threesome, you know, or like, I don't know. We all do, right? We're just obsessed with certain couples. You know, Bennifer. It's very common. Yeah, those were my... But then I also love Prince Eric. I mean, I loved all of it. I ate it all up. Aladdin and Jasmine, both of them were so hot. Yeah. This is unfortunate. I can't really relate. I don't think I was drawn very much to make-believe things.
Especially when it was like cartoon that was too far away. I couldn't fantasize about that because it was so obviously not real. Even when I was little. Yeah.
When I was young, I was not scared of monsters because those aren't real. Like I was scared of kidnappers and robbers. Those are real dangers. And so I think it worked the same way with attraction. Like when I was in love with that boy's dad. Got it. He was a real boy and a real man. Right. And he was hot. Wow. That's interesting. When you did like kids stuff, were you a little embarrassed? Like really? This
This is not cool. Like, this is a kid thing. I think the opposite. I was probably like, I should like this. Everyone likes it. Oh, wow. But I don't. Interesting. Disney movies...
Didn't really do it for me in the way that they did for so many people. I mean, I did like Lion King. I will say that one really stood out. You didn't like the Disney princess? Like Little Mermaid? Not really. Wow. I did sort of, but girls are obsessed with specifically the Disney princesses and they have the figurines and little dollies. And I
I didn't. And I didn't care. That's so surprising because I would have thought, because there's such a fantasy element to it, right? Of these perfect, I mean, that's what the Disney princesses, sure, you want to be the girl, but you also want to fall in love like that, right? You want the love and the knight in shining armor. But you didn't relate to that. No, it is kind of weird. In real life movies, you did, though. Yes. Live action, no.
Had my art. Like, say by the... I had crushes on all the real people. Live action. But the cartoons, not so much. And you're right. It's kind of weird that I didn't even connect with their love.
The strongest pull was Mufasa dying and then leaving his family. And did you cry? You still attached to the story or you were still like, this isn't real? I was very attached to him dying. I think my mom cried in Lion King. And I think that's in my head. She took me to the movie theater and she cried. I barely have seen her cry. So I think that was ding, ding, ding, scarring. What?
Right, that your mom is upset. You don't want to see your, I mean, at that age or even now. I never want to. It's too traumatic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't.
It's unsettling. We're not stable in that way. I wish we were. Me too. I think we'd be better off. There's like a version of us in a universe coming back to, like, I don't think everything's predetermined, but I think that it's like everything and everyone wants. There's a universe where you end up with this person that you ended up rejecting or passing over. And I think there's a version of the universe where we're more stable and we're totally different. That's kind of fun to think about. Wait, cards full? Yeah.
No. Uh-oh. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I wonder how long you got. I know. But we have this, thank God, backup. But should I dump and then rejoin? What should she do, Rob? Yeah, or if you have another card, but you probably don't. I would just try to delete some stuff off that, but make sure you don't delete what we have. Okay, let me... Oh my God, thank God I looked.
Oh my god, so scary. Okay, so if I stop it... But don't delete what you... Yeah, don't delete what you just recorded.
Try this again. Okay. Is eight gigs like a small card? Yep. Okay. Monica's got a 128 gig card problem. Oh, shit. Okay. We're back. Back, baby. Okay, so Hot Rodent Boyfriend. Yeah. So I just looked it up. We had a little bit of a technical difficulty. And while we were dealing with it, I looked it up. And yeah, I guess the Challengers boys are apparently like...
Roddy St. James, the rat from Flushed Away, and Stuart Little.
But I don't know Fleshed Away. Me neither. I think that's maybe a Gen Z era. Like we were really too old. I don't know it either. But yeah, girls had crushes, I guess, on those characters. On Roddy St. James. Again, it sounds like a negative, but it's not. That they have rat-like features and that this fits into the category of Jeremy White Allen. Jeremy Allen White. Jeremy Allen White. I don't not get it. I'm just not a stan. I like so get it. That's...
That's why I think hot rodent boyfriend is just what I want as a boyfriend. That's my type, I think. Well, what's happening with their personalities? Personality is they're sweet, like, but they're a little dirty. Oh, like sexually? No, I think just they have a scruff and like, again, golden retriever is preppy coated, you know, and like proper polo shirts. Exactly. Whereas hot rodent, it's like a chalamet. I think it's a little more feminine, to be honest. But I don't think Jeremy Allen White's feminine at
At all. Interesting. Because his body is not, oh, God, we're getting into scary territory, but he's not finny. To me, it's more of the frame that makes it, like, these Challengers boys are not stick thin. Are they? Actually, I don't know enough about them. I mean, they're pretty skinny. They're muscular, though. Right. And so is Jeremy Allen White. He's very muscular. Totally. Pedro Pascal is a little rodent. Really? Yeah.
He's so hot. Yeah, he's hot. But it's true that it's like a little rougher. He's not like a Brad Pitt clean cut. I mean, Brad Pitt can get scruffy, but his face is just so pretty. Support for Singed comes from Vegamore. I love Vegamore. I was at a hotel the other day and I forgot.
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Yes. Which I think is really nice because some shampoos and conditioners, I feel like it feels really dry after. Right. Vegamore, yeah, it just feels very nourished. Some other products can be super clean and cruelty free, but there's a trade off. Like it's just not as good. And with Vegamore, it actually works and it's made with all those ingredients. There's no trade off. You can still feel good about what you're putting in your hair and it looks great.
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Have you heard about the whole Kiki? Okay, this is last. Kiki versus booba. What? Kiki versus booba? What the hell is that? No, it's like a real thing. Okay, so it's a very hard concept to explain on a podcast, but I'm going to try. Scientists gave people two shapes, and one of them is almost like the electric, like a, oh my God, how to describe the shape? Like a starburst? Yeah.
Can you see it? Okay, yeah. Kind of like a star with sharp edges. Yeah, almost like a boom explosion kind of emoji. And then how would you describe the other one, like this one? To me, it's like a flower. It gives a little bit like flower power. And so they showed people these images and they said, which one is Kiki and which one is Booba? And almost everybody... Oh, this is amazing. Yeah, the left one is Kiki. That's Kiki. And then Booba? That's Booba. Right? Right?
And so then this woman took this experiment and was like, there are guys that are kiki and there are guys that are booba. Broad Pitt is a kiki.
See, I don't think so. George Clooney, Kiki. Pedro Pascal, Booba. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Me and you have much, much different... I mean, we were on the same page about which one was Kiki and which one was Booba, but to me, the boys are not at it. Like, to me, Brad is more Booba. He doesn't have sharp edges. There's nothing about Brad that feels...
His jawline. Oh, this is just aesthetics, you mean? Or vibe? It depends. But I think the vibe is that he's perfect and like very chiseled and like his body and like there's not a lot to blob onto. Whereas like a Pedro Pascal, a Andrew Garfield, like those are boobas. They're not kikis. Like Andrew Garfield's not a kiki. No, I agree. He's not a kiki, but he's not. But I don't think Brad Pitt is a kiki. I think George Clooney.
Clooney is a Kiki, but I'm taking vibe into account, not just aesthetics. Wow, this is fascinating. If people have not been able to follow, they need to look Kiki and Booba up. Booba Kiki. I mean, we can post. Oh, yeah, we should. And is Rodent Booba? For sure. What? Golden Retriever can also be a Booba. Yeah, to me, Booba is like Golden Retriever, like floppy energy. You know what it is? It really helps me
put into words something that I've never been able to put into words, which is my ideal kind of guy is a booba because it's like I want him to have the kiki spikes, but I want to be able to like hold on to something. Like, you know how I've described one person this way? I was like, he's great and he's handsome and he's nice and funny, but there's nothing for me to like hold on to. Like there's no...
ridges, that's what booba feels like to me, that there's like there's a sensitivity or there's, again, a little bit of fat. There's something that doesn't make them perfect in a way. To me, like a booba is like a less conventional but more interesting kind of guy. OK, wow. There's a lot to take back from this. And I really wanted to talk about Erewhon burritos, but we'll save that till next time.
All right, let's do a couple of questions. This is such a good question. What direction do you face in the shower? This is from Riley. My friends and I have had this debate for a long time. And after the do you pee in the pool question, I think your response and dialogue about this question would be so fun and interesting. Which direction do you stand in the shower while showering? Are you an ass to the water or tits towards the water person?
My friends and I have found that most times men are the front facers, whereas women are typically asked to the water. This is just in general. Of course, hopefully everyone is facing multiple ways in the shower to make sure you're clean. But overall, what way are you facing? Love the pod and I look forward to listening every week. Thanks, ladies. This is a great question. I've never thought about this in my life. Me too. It's so good. Wow. Okay. You know, right?
It's immediate. I think it's immediate. Ass to water. Ass to water. Yeah. Like she said, I do turn around, but for the majority and the like standard, when I first hop in...
Actually, when I first hop in, I was going to say when I first hop in, it's tits forward because I want to get my face. Exactly. Do you wash your face first? This is so interesting because to me, if I'm doing a lot of tits forward, I'm going through it like it's your everything shower. No, I think emotionally I'm going through it. Oh, there's something wrong with like or like I'm in a shower, but I'm a little bit like, oh, whereas if I'm
ass first. Like we're doing this. It's efficient. We're getting it done. Whereas the moments where I'm tits first is when I'm like maybe reflective or like the water on my face feels good, but maybe I'm staying in for a little too long because I'm not just in and out. Sure. It makes sense that men are nipples forward or they have tits too, I guess. Right? Sure. Some of them. They go forward because for us, the main point of the shower...
Or like a big part of the shower, if you're doing an everything shower, is your hair. Exactly. Your hair is taking time and like you're doing shampoo, you're doing conditioner, maybe you're doing a third thing. And so the hair is the focus. And so it wouldn't make sense to be forward. I agree. That's why. So if I'm not washing my hair, though, it's still ass to water. But I think maybe that's because it's muscle memory. But I agree with you. If I'm like...
trying to decompress or something, I will do tits forward for extra long.
Before I turn around. You know what? This is fascinating. It's like women are just efficient. It's like we got to like get in and get out. We don't have time to just stand and indulge. And it's like there's no time. We don't make time for ourselves. It's that there's so much to do. Maybe I'm shaving. Well, that's the other thing. Shaving, you have to do ass to water because you can't have the water pouring on your legs as you're shaving. That's right. Right.
What order do you go in? What's your shower order? Such a good question. If I'm washing my hair, that's what I'm starting with because I feel like some of my body is going to get cleaned through the process of just like all of this stuff coming out of my hair and the shampoo kind of going down my body. I want that part sorted.
before I move on to my body and then get everything figured out there. And then I'll shave last. But what about face? When does face enter the picture? This is controversial, but I was told by a random woman in Montreal. She was like, based on your face, you should not be washing your face in the morning. She was like, you should only wash your face once and it's at night. And I will say, I think for some people that is because it strips your skin off completely.
Again, depending on your skin, but it strips a lot of stuff off of your skin that you need. And so I will wash my face in the shower. It's at night, but otherwise I don't wash. I'll put water on it, but I'm not going to like wash it. That's very interesting. Is this the same woman who told you to put Gorilla Glue on your eyebrows? That was a different woman. And.
And I have not done it because you have scared me with it. So I feel like the only way I can do it is we do it together. That's not how life works, Liz. If you want to do something, you can't wait for me to do it. Especially when I said I'm definitely never doing that. But if you want to try it, you have to try it. We should explain to people what this means. So I met a woman who is a sync listener. We love her very much.
We love her. And she had the best eyebrows I've ever seen in my life. And so I said, what do you do for your eyebrows? And she looked at me straight in the face and she said, Gorilla Glue. I was like, what? And she said, Gorilla Glue. Also, it's not her. It came secondhand. She went to Sephora. This amazing gay guy at Sephora was working there. And she asked him about brow gels. And he was like, honestly, I do Gorilla Glue. And like, I
I highly recommend. Like, yeah, you can spend $40 on a brow gel, but Gorilla Glue will do a better job and it will stay for a few days. And so she did it. And her brows were amazing. So I naturally got Gorilla Glue. And then I told you about it, which was the bad idea. And you were like, Liz, anything that touches your eyebrows are going to like peel it off. And so now I'm just I've been delaying it.
But I want to do it. I'll do it. Do it if you feel the inclination. I'll let you guys know how it goes. Anyway, what's your order? Sorry. Oh, yeah. Okay. So I start tits to water. I wash my face first. And then I immediately turn ass to water. Get my hair wet. And as I'm getting my hair wet, I... I'm trying to...
It's weird how I don't really know, but I'm obviously doing the same thing every time. I think as I'm getting my hair wet, I am washing my body. And I use a bar soap. I don't use whatever it's called. Liquids. Body wash? Body wash. Thank you. I don't use body wash. I use...
a bar soap and it has an exfoliant like has like little pieces in it. So I use it directly on my body. It's not like I like suds it in my hand. I'm using it to exfoliate. Then I wash my hair and it's not the most efficient because ideally I would be washing my body as the conditioner is sitting. I know I should do that, but I don't think I do that. So then I put shampoo, then I condition and then
But I do think if I'm shaving, I will leave the conditioner in. Like, I'll shave while the conditioner is sitting. And then I'll rinse it. Like, for me, the washing of the hair is the very last thing. Like, I want to be done with the hair wash and get out, which seems like it's the opposite for you, which is interesting. I hate washing my hair. So I just want to get it over with. I think that's also the element. I don't like the feel of wet hair on me. Oh.
So I want that to be the last thing so I can just get out and towel it. Got it. I had a question and I forgot. This is fascinating. Rob, are you tits to water? Or butt? Chest first. The whole time? Yeah. I mean, unless I'm washing my hair, I need to turn around. Right. You have like thick hair. I bet some men, even if they are washing their hair, might still be tits forward. I really want to meet a guy who's ass forward. Yeah.
Does it correlate with other things like being sitting down, which also a lot of men do? It's interesting because all of our media tells us to do everything.
ass to water if you watch any shampoo commercial ever it's ass to water or like any like even soap commercial it is so it's weird but when it's women i don't think i'm trying to think of a i know guys soap you see more women i guess in the shower interesting do you like showering
No. I mean, I do it every day, but I don't like it. You mean like, do I get joy out of it? No, I love a bath. I do get joy out of that. Why do you?
No. Washing my hair is such a chore and I wish it wasn't. How often do you wash again? Every day? No, no, no, no, no. Do you? No. Every couple of days, but I will procrastinate washing my hair. You'll push the limits. As long as I, yeah, possibly. Like right now, I definitely should have washed my hair like two days ago, but it's just so annoying. But we have long hair. I wonder if that's part of it because I feel like I didn't used to hate it as much, but maybe my hair is longer. Yeah, it's true. I had a appointment yesterday
with a dermatologist. Well, a woman. I had an appointment with a woman when I was maybe going to get Kybella and then she changed my skin regimen and it messed up my face so much. So I think she's the devil. And she told me also to wash my hair every day. What? Because like the oils from the hair get on your face. And I was like, I'm not...
doing that and also that's not good for my hair no you're not supposed to do that you're stripping there's necessary things that our bodies just produce agreed okay well that was a very interesting question okay wait i have one last shower question okay do you shower in silence or do you put on a podcast or do you put on music if i'm being efficient i shower in silence
I shower in silence 75% of the time. Then 25% of the time, no, 23% of the time I listen to podcasts. 2% of the time I listen to music. It's really rare for me to listen to music in the shower. But also I just play it from my phone and I can barely hear. I know. I do it every time. And then if I'm listening to a podcast, I have to re-listen. Yep.
Same. I didn't hear anything, but I just hear this annoying noise that I can't make out. We must find soothing because why else are we doing it? Yeah, but I feel the same way where I'm like, why do I keep doing this? I can't hear it. But if I'm going on a date or like I'm getting ready to go out, I'll put on some fun music because it's like my getting ready music. Okay, I love that. Do you have a song? Ah.
I usually have a song that I listen to 20 times a day for three weeks and then I can't listen to ever again. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's do one more. Help. Do I tell my professor that her YouTube channel has playlists of strippers and pole dancing videos? This is from Dina.
Hi, Monica and Liz. I'm currently in my master's program at a private Christian university. My teacher weekly uploads videos of herself talking about lectures and assignments and all the things for each week that we need to know. This week, I decided to check out her profile because I wanted to see if there were any extra videos on her profile so I could get ahead specifically.
start on future assignments. When I went on her profile, I noticed that she has a bunch of public playlists of pole dancing videos, strippers and tease videos, and how to strip at home. She is a fairly conservative professor and I'm going to have her throughout my whole graduate program. I don't know if telling her is going to make our bond stronger or if she's going to hate me the rest of my master's program because she's embarrassed. Help. Help.
Wow. This is shocking. Oh my God.
Also, I have to be honest, I love her a little bit, but also, ding, ding, ding, religion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah, of course. Of course this, like, highly religious professor has stripping videos because repression. Should she tell her this is tricky? I mean, are we sure that this professor doesn't know that these videos are...
I mean, that would be my first. My guess is this professor does not know, especially if that's the way her students are getting to her. She probably doesn't know that some are private and some are public. But why would she post them if they're private? Is she trying to grow her following? Because then maybe this is part of growing her following. I doubt it. Like, is she trying to be like a Jordan Peterson? You know, that he was posting his lectures online. I can't attribute intention, but probably to...
create a following, which he got from the lectures. She has a bunch of public playlists of pole dancing videos, strippers and tease videos. Oh, public playlists. So it's not her in the... Okay, I think I understand. She just has a playlist and it's public. Oh, okay. I see. She probably thinks people can't see that. Yes. I think you need to tell her. Really? I would want...
to know. This is kind of a woman looking out for another woman situation, or that's how I view it. She could lose her job and she's not doing anything wrong. She just clearly likes pole dancing and she's probably like older so she doesn't realize her things. You know what I mean? Like without technology, it was like older women
mentor younger women. But I really think technology has kind of reversed that dynamic where in a lot of ways, younger women can be really helpful to older women when it comes to technology. And to me, this like falls into that category of I just want to let you know, I know that this is confusing by default. Maybe the playlists are public, but I just noticed it. And I just want to let you know that it's I would do it in a very caring way and a very like short email, like two sentences. Maybe not email, though, because that could get tracked.
I mean, it's not like she's like has cocaine. Well, I mean, like from the school, if it's a...
In conservative Christian schools, I agree that she could potentially lose her job for this, which is insane. Don't even reference what they are. Just say like, hey, like I noticed you have a lot of playlists and some of them are public. And I don't know if that was on purpose. So just letting you know. So, you know, you can make some private. I would just make it super casual. Don't even mention it, what it is. And then she'll go, oh, God, because she knows what her playlists are.
God, this is so hard because I agree with you. I think that's the right thing to do. But I also think honestly, and I would just ignore it.
really? To me, it's like seeing a woman with blood on her pants. Well, we've talked about this. It's feminism. I mean, whatever. You can do whatever you want. But to me, it would be like keeping in a sneeze. Like, I'd be like, I have to tell her. But she is running a tiny bit of a risk. She is that the woman will get defensive and then take it out on her. She has to be around this
person for two more years. And every time she sees her, there's going to be a little bit of discomfort. If that is a risk, though, then create a fake email and send her an email. Oh, my God. And then you can just say it. Your pole dancing playlist is public. You might want to make it private.
then like she doesn't have to feel ashamed. Again, I would just tell her because I feel like that's the easiest thing. But if you're worried about retribution, you can just send her an anonymous note. If this was 2001, I'd be like, write it down on a piece of paper and like leave it on her desk. Do you think? OK, well, if she has other playlists that aren't
this, it's easy to just say like, I was looking for some extra, I was wondering if you had any extra videos. And so I looked on your profile and I see that you had some public playlists. So just so you know, you can make those private if you want. Not like you should. I think making it as cash as possible is good. I agree that what Liz is saying is the right thing to do. And also I'm just going to throw out there personally, I would just not say anything. But it is weird for a
to approach a teacher about this? To me, it's like coming back to the period pants or, again, any other woman thing. Would you tell your teacher about blood on her pants? Yes! You have to! I would tell even if it was my arch enemy. I know, but arch enemy is easier than teacher. To me, it's even more like, oh, my God, like...
I don't want you to be humiliated. And again, especially since the idea would be like she doesn't know. And so, again, that there could be men who are seeing this and laughing at her. Or again, that it could have repercussions on her career and she could lose her job over this. I would just want a woman to woman. If we were talking about a guy, that would feel a little harder for me. That's uncomfortable. That's a little. Yeah. What are the. But for me, like the woman to woman thing overrides all other hierarchies that exist. I get that. I think you're right.
I think that's the right thing to do. You're not going to go to hell if you don't do it. Maybe take into account this professor's personality. If you do think they're going to just be so embarrassed and sort of take it out on you and like...
it's a little bit it's you or her but if not if you're if you think she would be grateful ultimately that you told her then do you have to assess that if that professor is going to make her life miserable for the next two years I don't know hopefully she wouldn't but obviously this woman has got some contradictions stuff's going on she
She has mixed messages. I mean, aren't we all? If everyone could see our Google searches and our playlists or our Spotify raps. My God, I'm so glad those things aren't public. I actually was so jealous of people who are like, can just share them. Like, I'm like, oh, great. You're securely attached and normal. Like, I'm so...
So mentally ill and weird. Maybe that's a good resolution for you. End of year resolution is to post. Hold on. I was going to say post your Spotify rap, but don't now start adjusting what you listen to just so your Spotify rap looks good. Be truthful about your listening habits. And then, you know, it's going to happen. You'll post and people be like, I love that too. Well, it's not that I'm a shh. It's just it's not postage.
not post-worthy. I'm not here like bragging about how much Adele I listen to or like how much of one song. There's some really happy years and then there's some tougher years. Oh, you're worried it's going to like show what kind of state of mind you've been in for the year. Yes. Okay. It's like too vulnerable. And also like, I think Dak shared it or like, and it's like super varied and like interesting. Yeah. You shared it's like really interesting artists. And I'm like, I'm just so basic. That's silly, Liz. To care about what it looked
No, don't add. No.
Oh, no. You're literally doing the opposite of what I'm saying. Okay, got it. Be you, do you, how you normally live. And then at the end of the year, the challenge is to feel okay showing who you are for real and not who you think the...
presentation should be. Okay, I will share my Spotify wrap this year, no matter what. It's already too late to reverse course. I mean, I guess I could, but we're already deep into the year. I wish they did a halfway. Me too. That'd be kind of fun. We should bring back half anniversaries or like I'm 37 and a half. We kind of did with our gift guide. It's true. Proud of us. Yeah. Well, okay. This was great. I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip.
Thank you. I can't wait to see you again. And then, yeah, back in the attic next week. Thank you so much for submitting and please continue to submit. These are all amazing questions per usual. Really good questions today. And we'll see you next week. Bye.
