Flightless Bird: Renaissance Faire 41:11

I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. Now, ever since we started this show about 80 episodes ago, I've had emails and DMs requesting one thing and one thing alone. I needed to go to a renaissance fair.

So to cut to the chase, in this episode, I go to a Renaissance fair. So get ready for a lot of this. Of course, I am the Lord Mayor, Sir Barnabas Bliss. My name to be Mistress Maggie Maybower, and I have been elected as Queen...

Every year, about 200 rain fairs take place in the United States, millions of visitors transporting themselves through space and time, usually to the reign of Queen Elizabeth during the 1500s.

My history is so bad I really hope that's the right time frame. I think it is. The whole idea of the Renaissance Fair started back in 1963 when English teacher Phyllis Patterson held an event for her students in her backyard. She wanted to bring history to life, to inspire them, to recreate an Elizabethan fair.

A few months later, her and her husband Ron put on a bigger one, hosting about 8,000 people. And it kept growing, and in 1966, the official Renaissance Pleasure Fair of Southern California was launched. And while looking into this, I was delighted to find out that that very same Wren Fair was still going today. And so there was obviously only one place I needed to go. So, grab a turkey leg and get ready to travel back in time, because this...

is the Renaissance Fair episode.

All right, since I am filling in for Monica today, I feel obligated to call you out on how you're pronouncing the topic this week. Oh, God. Renaissance. Renaissance. Renaissance. Renaissance is how I would say it. Actually, as I was listening back, I was thinking, is this right? Which is so often in these episodes with these words. I bet it's technically right. I'm just going to stick with Renaissance Fair and we'll see what happens. You just sound maybe a little pompous.

pronouncing it that way. I am, you know? Monica is having a true nightmare day and I didn't really want to sit here talking to myself because that would be weird. It would be a monologue, wouldn't it? Are there monologue podcasts? Do they ever have those? There are, but you're already in the doc too, so. It'll be weird, right? Yeah. So welcome, Rob. How are you? I'm great. Do you have any

Thoughts on Ren Fairs? Have you been to one before? Never been to one. So I used to work at a movie theater and there was a big field next to the movie theater. Right. There was always like a day of the week where people would come dressed up and they had their weapons and then they would fake fight. Yeah, right. So sort of medieval reenactors. It was Renaissance attire. Yeah.

And did you feel any sort of magnetic pull to thinking, wow, I want to go and check that out? Or were you in your theater with your popcorn just kind of looking on? There was no magnetic pull to check it out. I'm just thinking, when we did the Lord of the Rings episode, you were very quick to dress up as a hobbit. There was no team meetings. You just...

turned up as a hobbit. And so that made me think, is there a side to you that is at every Renaissance fair you can possibly go to around America? Maybe in a parallel universe. I like an accurate costume. Okay. Yeah. So, I mean, I feel like you should go to one of these at some point. I feel like Calvin would like it a lot. He'd like the atmosphere there. Yeah, he would probably enjoy it. Actually, as a side note, when Calvin gave his review of Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring in the Pies episode,

People enjoyed it. What was the context? Were you like, we're going to watch this thing, we're going to watch Lord of the Rings, and then just tell me what you think? Or was that simple? He watched it, and then I was like, when you're done, come downstairs. I want to talk to you about the movie. It was really good. And every time I put the mic in front of him, he kind of turns it on. Yeah, so that's just having...

a podcast producing father. He's just sort of like seeped into him. The like and subscribe thing that he said at the end destroyed me. Yeah. Point being, I think both of you would love the idea of a Ren Faire. So obviously I went along, so I'm just going to take you into my journey into the Renaissance Faire.

And just see if you feel your heart opening up. How do you feel about that era? Because when I think Renaissance Faire era, I think Game of Thrones, A Knight's Tale. Yeah, this is a slight problem I have. I was so confused about Ren Faires in general, which is apparently how you shorten it. You say Ren Faire. Is that one word or two? I don't even know.

But anyway, when I heard about Renovators, I didn't know whether they were American, whether they were British. I had no clue. I just haven't taken notice of them because I've got no interest in that era. I just, my brain has no interest in Game of Thrones. Oh, you don't even like those as like movies or TV shows? No, just the aesthetic for whatever reason, all power to people that like it, but it just holds no appeal. So when I see an event where people seem to be dressed up like they're in sort of the 1500s or when was Game of Thrones? I mean, it's not real, is it? It's fictional. Is it based on a true story? Yeah.

I just have no interest in people in big fluffy collars and swords. I like sci-fi. I'm a sci-fi nerd. And I just really struggle with that era. It doesn't grab me. I think that's where we differ. I do love that era in movies and TV shows. Not that I necessarily want to go drut like...

To be honest, when I think of a Ren Faire, it seems like a costume that's heavy and hot. And the idea of being uncomfortable at it is more than how cool it would look in a knight's armor. You don't want to be like sweating and layers of cloaks and hats and everything. So what is it about the aesthetic that you like? Because I feel you don't like sci-fi. You love ancient history.

I think it's just the historical aspect of it that I like. And it's rooted in some sort of reality and it takes place in our universe. The more you're saying, the more I think Renfe is quite possibly the thing for you. Like everything you're saying, I think you're in some state of denial.

Yeah, it's possible. So I went to my first Ren Faire. This was a couple of weekends ago. I don't know if you'll notice in the documentary, but I feel I should say I was the most hungover I've been in a really long time. Not because of excessive drinking. I'm just old. I had five beers.

The night before, I woke up feeling like I wanted to die. And then what I did, I got in my car and drove an hour into like a really hot part of California where this rent fair is held. And I just, the entire time, just so you know, I wanted to vomit and die. But I think I did really well. We'll see. It's about 1 p.m. and I'm about an hour out of central L.A. And I'm about to enter my first renaissance fair.

It's hard to describe how hot today is, and I'm already sweating, and I'm glad to be wearing sunscreen. Yeah, yeah, good, good. I'm from New Zealand. It's the first time I've been to something like this. Welcome to America, homie. This particular homie was standing in line, surrounded by people who are all very excited.

Just an excuse to dress up. We're the costume event type people, so we go to a lot of stuff like this. The Ren Fair is the big one. I should point out that the people in front of me are dressed as toadstools. I'm a mushroom. I'm a deathcap mushroom. And he is a toadstool. No, no, I'm inkblot. Fun fact about mushrooms. China has a mushroom, and in a lot of the Asian countries, I believe it's called...

ink stool mushroom and they actually did use it for ink in the medieval times. Phyllis, the teacher responsible for the existence of the Ren Faire, would be happy that I'm already learning. I'm not gonna lie, I was hesitant to want to come do something like this because it's out of my comfort zone, but I'm a history buff and this is kind of fun. I love the vibes. Everyone is really great about community here.

And what are you? I'm a fire fairy. After passing through a short security line, me and the mushroom and the fire fairy enter the fair.

Stepping through the gates, I enter what I guess is a small Elizabethan village, complete with villages and stores. I spot a blacksmith's, some weavers, some glassblowers, and a kitchen that claims to be cooking authentic Elizabethan recipes. We are the oldest Renaissance fair in the nation. We're celebrating 63 years. Congratulations. Thank you very much. We're very proud of that fact. And we are the largest pop-up event in the nation. My

My guide this afternoon is Kristen, the senior managing producer at Renaissance Entertainment Productions, who runs the Renaissance Fair. After Phyllis Patterson came up with this whole concept over six decades ago, it's grown and grown, purchased by various other entities, until it ended up with Kristen and her company. Now it's bigger than it's ever been, held at the Santa Fe Dam, and while Coachella has two weekends, this thing has seven weekends.

So it takes us approximately five weeks to build.

We run for seven weekends, and then it's a matter of a teardown. But what we do is we provide an immersive, inclusive environment of escapism. So you're going to walk around, and you're going to see people living history and demonstrations, and our guests are here. Their faces are not in their phones. They're actually being involved in an immersive experience. And everyone here, it feels like everyone except me, is completely in character and dressed up. Well, we could fix that if you'd like.

Is that a threat? No, no, no, no, no. It's actually a promise. So I'm not dressed up. I mean, I've got clothes on my body, but they're just my normal clothes, not whatever it is that everyone else is wearing here. I'm in shorts, a t-shirt and some purple Crocs.

I've got a few excuses for this, none of them that if you love Renaissance fairs that will stack up. Firstly, this is all new to me. I'm here to see what it's all about. If I love it next year, I'll come back dressed up as a knight or bard or whatever. Also, this is a podcast. You can't see me. I could have edited all this out and you wouldn't know any better. Look, I'm just being honest. Don't sue me. Don't be afraid to talk to people.

I'm sure that they will love the interactions. That seemed like a weird thing to say, don't be afraid to talk to people. We'll come back to this. Seems like a very well-behaved crowd so far. Do people come in here and get sort of boozed up or is it a very sober event? Very family friendly, but...

We have something for everyone. So you'll find that we have four pub crawls a day, if that's something that you want. We also have an adult-only area, if that's something that you want. We also have a kids' kingdom area for the wee ones. So we are definitely a family-friendly environment, but there is something for everyone. And I'd like to consider this the largest costume party in L.A.,

Looking around, I can see she's right. Most people here, apart from a few dickheads like me, are engaged in one of the biggest cosplays I've ever seen. "And also awe-inspiring because so many of our guests make their costumes by hand."

Apparently the theme of this weekend is cottagecore, something I hadn't heard of until now. According to Wikipedia, it's an aesthetic and design style that encourages adopting a simpler lifestyle. Its design characteristics include vintage and handcrafted items such as clothing, candles, furniture, and needlework. We pass through an area that's full of people gathered around tables, furiously working away on what seems to be armor?

I'm not a history buff, so I don't really know or honestly care that much about Elizabethan times, but I'd basically explain it by saying it's like I've stumbled into an interactive Shakespeare play that's going on all around me.

I'm going to introduce you to our May Queen. Okay, what is a May Queen? I will let her... Suddenly I'm confronted by this woman in this giant, colourful explosion of a dress. She's wearing a ton of makeup and has a very loud voice. My name do be Mistress Maggie Maybower and I have been elected as Queen of the May, indeed. Okay, so this is what Kristen was alluding to earlier. Don't be afraid to talk to people. Okay.

I'm sure that they will love the interactions. She said that because most of the people dressed up here are in character and they're committed to the bit.

really committed. It is my responsibility to make certain that all isn't ready for our wondrous springtime festival here, making certain that we are joyously celebrating the transition from winter into our spring, for we have been blessed to survive yet one more harsh winter. Listening back to this audio, it's a lot. And I feel like you'll either be on board or you won't. You're cynical or you embrace it.

All I'll add is that when you're there, surrounded by thousands of people in dress-up, all taking part in the same narrative, it's this really unique, immersive experience. And it's all feeding into the storyline that's going on today, which involves Queen Elizabeth going to watch a jousting match. Pleasure to meet you, Gramercy, my lord. Have a most wondrous day upon our shire.

To be honest, I found it really hard to interact with people when they're all acting. I am the Lord Mayor, Sir Barnabas Bliss. Lord Mayor, of course, is the title of what I do. In faith, it is a yearly position. We change every single year. I think it's because I wasn't acting. I was just being me. And suddenly, being me, I felt really out of place.

I was in the wrong century. We began this day, opened up for the whole world, and the whole world seemed to come in. It's amazing. A lot of my day was just this, talking to people from 400 years ago. By the time I was introduced to Queen Elizabeth, I was a bit of a weird hot mess.

It's like my brain couldn't figure out the context of how I was meant to conduct these interviews. So I knew I had the Queen in front of me, but I'd forgotten that we were meant to be in England. We are in the United States of America at the moment, and this is a podcast about America. What are you doing here in America at the moment?

What brings you here? But we are in England, sir, are we not? Indeed. But we are sending some of our finest sailors out to the New World, that perhaps they may form a colony in our name. I have been told they are to name it Virginia, in our honour. We talk for a while, me here in 2024 and her in the mid-1500s, and when I leave, all the other royals who have been gathering around us start yelling, Save the Queen! God save the Queen!

As I walk away, the Queen gets up and is taken to a carriage drawn by horses that are actually people posing as horses. Right, please and am I, I'm glad to present unto thee, majesty, Gloriana Elizabeth, Queen of England, Ireland, Wales and France, defender of the true, ancient and Catholic faith. With the Queen towering over us all, an impromptu parade begins.

and we all head to the joust. Hip hip, huzzah, indeed.

now rob can you just imagine being surrounded by people screaming and yelling as you want to vomit and your brain is just in utter agony from drinking too much alcohol the night before that sounds like a nightmare it was rough i'm also feeling very anxious on your behalf because i think we're both not the most outgoing maybe a little awkward yeah absolutely we

We are introverted by default. So the self-consciousness that you probably felt not being in character while these other people were in character. You get it. I get it. It was that. And once I realized what was happening, I didn't realize how committed. I kind of assumed that once I walked up to people and said, I'm doing this podcast, they'd sort of slip out of character and kind of tell me about the actual reality of the situation. Yeah.

But everyone was just so on board. And then I'm like, I don't really want to talk to someone pretending to be the queen from 400 years ago for this show. But then you can't help but sort of marvel at the fact everyone is committed to the bit. Right. But it's like, how do I navigate that world as I walk around like an idiot in my purple Crocs? I mean, I was the idiot in the situation. Everyone else was doing the right thing except me. Well, you have some codependence too, probably, where you don't want that.

them then to feel weird about committing to this and this thing that they're passionate about clearly that's exactly it so i'm nodding along to them sort of going great sweating a lot and then just trying to think of questions that let them bounce off and do the acting thing do you think if you had gone into it with the costume and character assigned to you that

You would feel any better committing to that? I am self-conscious and weirdly doing what I do. I don't like putting myself in front of a lot of people. But I think in this situation, being dressed up would have been like a disguise and it would have made it fine. And I think you could see people there that weren't into it just going around slowly being kind of won over by the whole thing.

How many people were there? There were thousands of people there. Were you the only one not in a costume? No, the great thing was there were a few people that weren't. It's not like to enter the doors of the Ren Faire, you must be in costume. It was super relaxed. And this was pretty loose. I think some Ren Faires go a bit harder in having to stick to Elizabethan times. Literally, you had mushrooms walking around. I saw some Star Wars figures and stuff. It was just a big cosplay. So people just went as everything. And I went as myself.

Is there anything in there that made you think, hey, this could be for me? This is me. This is the real me. I was too stuck on how self-conscious I would feel having to put on an accent and get into character. Yeah, and there's a whole storyline that plays out over the day. The other thing I didn't understand until I went in there, these are...

actors that are into this they're theater people it's not random people they've got people they employ to drag that audience in and so you'll walk around and have these interactions with these people i guess the closest i'd compare it to in america is when you go to universal disney or something and you're walking around in star wars land and the stormtroopers like in character it's that i mean my church as a kid did something similar to this i remember going to at

At church? They set up like a market and there were people in character and you get dough and bread that they'd made as if they would have during that time with Jesus. How old were you at this time? Probably like 10. Did you dress up?

was a little no I did not dress up but you just went along and had some dough and something sort of I think that's the closest I've been to a renaissance fair yeah I feel like churches are really good in America at Easter to putting on these interactive nativity displays or Christmas I guess

But they do the Easter resurrection where they drag the cross down. I want to do one of the drive-thru ones where you just sit in the car and drive through as all this stuff happens around you. I think they've got some drive-thru ones as well. God, America just loves a show. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

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Well, if you were to commit to this, would you rather be employed as a character with some sort of guidelines and script? I like rules and boundaries, so I'd want to be told what to do. I'm like, you are this person, just say some of these lines. Your job is to go around filling in this part of the story. I'm not an improv guy. Like for me, the idea of going in character and improving, it's a true nightmare to me. People have nightmares about being buried alive. My nightmare is being on stage at an improv show.

having to improvise with actors. I'd want to die. What if you were with a group of your friends, though? If you got 15 people you know. Yeah, that's the way to do it. Yeah. And that was my other mistake. I was there on my own, which is, I mean, any social interaction on your own can be quite rough. If I was there with 10 friends and we were all on board, then this would have been a whole different situation. And I still enjoyed it. It was just the hangover was hard and the awkwardness was high. Yeah.

In saying that, I did like the joust. As I wander towards the joust, I clock how big this Ren Faire is. About 30 acres. My crocs are getting dusty. On my little trip, I meet a bunch of people, all in character. A man dressed as some kind of farmer calls me over, beckoning to the letters on my shirt. I am practicing my letters.

Help me. You remember letters, right? Ah yes, everyone is in character. And I guess this one is learning to read. Aye, of course. Aye. Good day. I'm practicing my letters. Give me just a moment. Aye. That's D. I know that one. Aye, aye, aye. That one is... E. E. Oh, because it's three. E. Three. Because it's got the three. Three E. Three E.

I also talked to the mayor, Lord Barnabas Bliss, the one yelling all those hip hip huzzahs earlier. I've seen a little bit of you today and you've always been yelling. You've got such a loud voice.

And I'm just wondering how you keep your voice throughout this whole weekend, multiple weekends. Aye indeed. Well, firstly, you keep hydrated. Get you a good ale, or in my case, Adam's ale. That's water for thee. And of course that makes sure that the dry environment doesn't completely remove my voice. Eventually, we get to the joust. I manage to slip into the front row for a good view. It's my first joust, and I don't want to miss anything.

At the end of the dusty jousting area, I see the Queen in her royal court. The crowd's divided in two on either side of the jousting field. Field? I don't know what you call the jousting area. We'll go with field. Anyway, we're introduced to the jousters, Maximilian and Don Vincenzo. Maximilian, you are the winner!

Each side of the crowd roots for a different knight. My side's rooting for Maximilian, who the other side boos. Something in this taps into the competitive nature of the American psyche, and everyone is just incredibly on board. I find myself incredibly on board. First, riding for this entire length of the field, your team is the Order of the Moon and Lion! Yeah!

I turn to the person behind me. She's tiny and really excited. I'm not sure how to make conversation at a joust, but I do my best. They're big horses. They're huge, and his costume is really awesome. I kind of want to root for him just because of the costume. The knights are handsome. They are. I think you've got to be handsome to be a knight, right? Yeah. I mean, there's a scale, but they're on the higher end of the scale.

The girl's name's Jordan. She loves Ren Fairs and it's her first time at this Ren Fair. She's made a big trip to be here with her boyfriend. I'm having an amazing time. And I'm from New York, so like, yeah.

I went to Coachella when I was 14 and this is like a first experience. I really wanted to come last year so I got free tickets from a colleague this year and now I get to have a little taste but next year I'm coming fully dressed. This is really awesome. I grew up learning about Renaissance and medieval culture. My whole ninth grade was about the rise of the individual so we learned about the Medici family and all of that and my boyfriend is really into history and Renaissance culture.

And for half an hour, Jordan and I enjoy some Renaissance culture. The night's joust, and the crowd gets loud. Unfortunately for our side, our jouster Maximilian loses quite badly. I see him afterwards, where he's still in character of course and flirting with the audience, who, like Jordan, noticed how handsome he was. Thank you, sweet love. We should get married, you and I. Don't tell the Queen.

Oh, look at them. Their accent. This particular audience is so much fun. For they pick up any single little phrase and then chant it.

And we love that. They are delightful. What's the secret to being a good jouster? To be honest and fair, it's a good partnership with your most beautiful horse. No matter what we're doing out there, if we're not connected with our horse as a partner, we are doomed. That is, in fact, in all honesty, the truth. While we talked, Maximilian mentioned his daughter was also out there involved in the joust.

I wasn't sure if this was in character or out of character, so I raised it with Kristen. Within the joust itself, there are several families. So we've got his daughter. He also has twin sons who perform. There's another father and son duo out here as well, along with another father and daughter duo. My day here is coming to an end. As I'm leaving the joust, I bump into a couple of my friends, Karen and Brian. It's not really a surprise they're here as they love this kind of thing.

I wonder what they made of the joust compared to other Ren Fairs around the United States. I've been to the Maryland Ren Fair multiple times. I don't know if you know this, but in Maryland, technically the state sport is jousting. And so the jousts there are fantastic. Oh my god, I can only imagine. Yeah, it's high level jousting. I really can't watch it anywhere else. I'm so disappointed, really. What's the best thing you've seen so far today?

We got to see some really good whipping today. Some solid fire whipping. That was pretty solid. And I feel like if you are the guy who has whips at a Ren Faire, you're basically the king of the Ren Faire. I leave Brian and Karen to go and eat a turkey leg, which for the record, I didn't get as I'm attempting to be a vegetarian at the moment.

All in all, I'm just so impressed by the scale of this thing. People make a big song and dance about Coachella being two weekends. You're more than two weekends. How many weekends? We're seven weekends here. How do you maintain that? Because I would assume people would come on one weekend and they'd be done.

There's so many weekends. How is that possible? Well, I think you can attest to the fact that you've been here for a good several hours and you have not been able to see everything. So every single time people come to our show, you have a different experience. And when we add even more special events into the mix and theme weekends, it brings a whole new flavor. So it's always fresh. It is fresh, but I'm dirty. My crocks are full of dirt and dust and sweat.

And I've got sunscreen in my eyes. Oh my god, how do I get out of here? I can't find the exit. The last person I talk to as I leave actually looks like they're going to Coachella. Maybe Coachella 30 or 40 years ago. I'm not sure if they're in cosplay or this is just them, but they're clearly rock fans. These are my people. I love all the different walks of life. That's what I love. And everyone come in here and celebrate it and having a good time.

A little bit of contraband, a little bit of rock and roll bands, and it's all good. You know who you remind me of? Who? You ain't going to know who I'm talking about. There's a drummer named Joe Travers that used to play with Zappa, and he played for Duran Duran. You got his mouth, dude. I like this. Is this a compliment? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good. Yeah, Joe Travers is a... Dude, Joe Travers taught... What's the original...

As they endlessly talk about Joe Travers, the man who had my mouth, I slipped away, got in my car, and drove back to the big city. Earlier that day, I'd posted a photo on my Instagram, me with Queen Elizabeth. I looked at the replies and was shocked to see Mara Wilson had replied.

Mara is American royalty. She played Matilda in the Roald Dahl movie, Matilda. And I read her comment about me being at my first Ren Fair. To David: "Is this not a thing in New Zealand? Or just not your thing?" Anyway, it's very fun to have a thousand years of history condensed into cosplay, turkey legs, getting day drunk, and probably also heat exhaustion. I think I got at least one of those things.

So yeah, that was my journey into a hungover Renfair. I got some questions. No, please, hit me. The jousting? They had real horses? Yeah, they did. They were real horses. So I really, as I listen back to my documentary, I really don't think I set the scene as well as I needed to. Real horses, big horses. Big horses. Do you think it was rigged?

Absolutely. Were they hitting each other? Yeah, they had targets. So they weren't knocking each other off the horses, but they had targets on their armor that the other jouster had to hit off. It's like wooden jousts. It wasn't like they were going to murder each other. That would have been amazing. But the jousters are incredible at jousting. Their aim is amazing. They've got these big jousting sticks and they're literally hitting these tiny targets.

And also I would say the whole thing is scripted out. So I think they know what side is going to win, what's going to lose because they rile the two sides of the audience up so much and you're so on board. And it was kind of remarkable to see. It's just that purely from the announcer and then the knights playing to the crowd on either side.

You know about medieval times, right? I'm glad you brought this up because this is clearly somewhere I need to go. Have you never, do you not know about medieval times? I know about medieval times. I need to go to medieval times. Yeah. I mean, it's essentially that it's a little more theatrical because they also do sword fighting and there's multiple nights. So you've got. This is from, I know from Cable Guy. Cable Guy. Cable Guy like made a big, and is this a chain or is it one place?

It's a chain, because there was one by my house growing up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. They had one, and we went on a field trip in sixth grade. So you went for school? For school we went, and then once you hit your 20s, people ironically like to have birthday parties there. Do you eat dinner? They have throwback food. It's turkey legs, and you have beers out of steins, and...

It's a whole thing. This sounds amazing. This is obviously an episode we need to do. So it's basically the joust, but just the joust from the Ren Faire and there's food. There's more to it. There's fighting. Have you seen A Knight's Tale? Heath Ledger, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, it's been a while, but yes. Because I think jousting is just one of many things. Many elements. Yeah, yeah. There's...

Multiple parts to it. So it's a whole show that you're going to. So America loves jelcing. It's the national sport of Maryland? Maryland. Maryland.

Was that the right state that they said? Brian is a bit of a funny man, so he might have been pulling my leg. But America does seem to love jousting. I mean, you just said Medieval Times is the whole thing. Every Ren Faire has jousting as like a central thing. It's entertaining to watch. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, there's a reason why it was a thing back then. The other thing that's so unusual, you know, this is a show we're making about America.

The Ren Faire is so American. It's not based in America. It's all based on the founders of America, which I just find so weird that America is like, this is our thing and we're all in. Because I feel so much of the time, and I might be wrong on this, but America is not thinking of its roots at all. It's like, we're American. This is what we do. And whereas the Ren Faire is just the polar opposite. It's like, no, this is a throwback to our roots. It's like we're in freaking England, you know? Yeah. It's the weirdest thing.

How do you feel about the whole roleplay aspect of it? Okay, so back in New Zealand, I went to journalism school, and then I graduated, and I started working part-time in a TV newsroom. And the very first story I ever put to air, which took me so long, it was like a minute and a half story, it was the tiniest little thing, it took me so long to make, I did it about live-action roleplayers, or laughers.

My whole thing back then, you know, I wanted to bring subcultures to mainstream New Zealand TV. So I wasn't a LARPer, but I knew about this world. And I am just fascinated by that culture. The idea that you just want to fully commit to escaping the real world. You're all on board with whatever the rules are of that LARP.

I could very easily, I think, if I made a few different life decisions, be a lapper. If I had enough friends doing it, I think I could get into it. Maybe you'll work at Medieval Times. I did have a friend that worked at Medieval Times and he would watch the... It's a castle. It is an actual castle. Oh my God, this gets better and better.

And I remember once he texted me at 2 in the morning and was like, do you want to come to the castle? The horses got out. This is such a... Do you want to come to the castle? The horses got out. I never wanted to do anything more than I wanted to go to the castle and play with the horses. And they tried to get him to be a knight as well. He was a server there. And then would pick up shifts watching the castle on midnight shift.

And I guess the pay was worse to be a knight and it was much more physically demanding. Oh, incredible. So he was like, yeah, I don't want to do that. Yeah, he's like, I make more tips. Oh, that's so funny. Because you'd think that knight's the thing that everyone's desperately wanting to do. Yeah, all that glory. All the glory. Yeah.

The knights that I watched were clearly love the attention. They were soaking it up. And I guess that's the whole thing. And his daughter's in there. His sons are in there. It is this family affair. So this guy, and he wouldn't drop characters. I couldn't really find out that much from him. So annoying. But he just travels around Renfez being a knight. And that's his job. I mean, it's a unique thing to do. I mean, it's a cool job to have. Kind of amazing. I mean, very accurate. I did want to see them knocking each other off.

Does that happen at Medieval Times? Absolutely happens at Medieval Times. That's what I want to see. And they have the sword fighting and I think they have special kind of metal so it sparks like crazy. Oh, okay. I need to do this. I did actually bring up Medieval Times during my interview with the organizer and she did Bristol a little bit. I think that's to them low.

lower tier they're putting on this interactive environment over seven weekends or like big company what would you call that well yeah like a corp the corporate version version yeah i mean they clearly have more production oh and money put into medieval times completely

But I would imagine Renaissance fairs are maybe more accurate? I think in general, I think they like to be. This one is definitely a bit looser. But this is literally the biggest one in America, and it's the longest running one because it was literally founded from the first one. Do you think you'll go back?

If I could find a group of friends to go back with, and you're more than welcome to be included in that group, I would go. I think that's key. I think my advice, wear sunscreen, dress up, go with friends, and just be prepared to lose yourself in it. If you go in with any kind of cynicism, it's going to just be a miserable time. So just get in, in, and then you'll have a good time. Well, let's call up Mara Wilson. I mean, she would be a great person to go with. That would be incredible. Okay, so it's me, you...

Calvin, Mara Wilson, maybe your friend from medieval times. My friend John from Chicago. John. John can come in from Chicago. I'm very into this. And I figured just get out the little Hobbit outfit you had. A little Frodo. I mean, it's still in the corner here. Like, jonesing to get it on. Yep.

The one thing I would mention, there is a, I think it's a three-part series called Ren Faire. And it's made by this incredible director who's made this other film called Sperm World about sperm donors. And he has, I believe it's based on a Ren Faire in New York. And it's something to do with maybe one of the knights retiring.

And his documentaries are so surreal and so incredible. I think if you want to deep dive into Ren Faire's, literally watch Ren Faire. I think it's a three-parter. It might be on Hulu or maybe HBO. Just Google it. It'll come out. I know how much you like recommending platforms.

I mean, I think the only thing is, to me, Renaissance fairs are reminiscent of the gathering of the juggalos in my mind a little bit, where they're in costumes in this immersive world. Is there a weird sexual component going on at all? I wondered...

I mean, she did mention there's an adults area as part of the Ren Faire, but it's not like they've got some porn zone or anything. I think it's just some bands and stuff played that aren't good for kids. Yeah. From what I've seen of the Gathering the Juggalos, it's hyper-sexualized. I love this comparison, because you're right. They're two hyper-charged environments where you're all there for the same reason, and you're all dressed up, and you're all in character. Yeah.

Well, and you're reenacting this era in time where there was much more misogyny and like how in character are they getting? No, I don't. This one that I went to is definitely, it was so family friendly. There was no horniness in the air. Because the Renaissance costumes themselves for women are kind of sexy. That looks chic for yourself.

Or can be, I guess. The costumes are all amazing. They are amazing. That May Queen, she was just this absolute maniac who you couldn't not stare at because her outfit was so amazing. But I think for me, Zero Horniness... I mean, Juggalos is kind of tied up, though, with...

drinking and drugs and a certain lifestyle. I think it's a very great comparison to make. I think I would probably prefer to go to a gathering of the juggalos, just because... You wouldn't have to be in character? Just wouldn't be sort of talking to people pretending they were 400 years old. Is that the only reason, though, you'd prefer that over the other? I just think, I just want to go somewhere much hornier, basically. I want to go into a horny gathering.

I would recommend the Ren Faire. I'd give it a 7 out of 10. If you go with friends and in character, it's a strong, I'd give it a 10 out of 10. I mean, there's probably five more weeks of it. We can make this happen. There's multiple more weeks. And as I have friends that go, and it is the highlight of the year, they absolutely love it. They just hand themselves over to it with zero cynicism and they have a great time.

Yeah, and they were an amazing, I mean, they were very fun to work with. They sort of met me at the gate and took me through and sort of guided me through this world. They didn't give me shit for not being dressed up. And weirdly, being surrounded by Elizabethan people, I felt more American, which is super weird. Well, that's the goal. That's the goal. See you next year, you and me. Let's do it. You, me, Calvin and Matilda. Normal sentence. All right, bye. Bye.

Thank you.