Lani with an Ā 27:15

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Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Lainey. Lainey, how are you? I'm great. How are you doing? Doing really well. So let's set up the story here because this is a little unusual. A lot of people sort of cold call in and we talk to them. You, I need to disclose the truth. I was chatting with backstage...

Beacon Theater, is that correct? Yes, sir. Okay. Why don't you set the stage of... What was the event? Do you remember the event? Because I do so many events. I do so much for so many people. Oh, God. What was the event? Love Rocks. Yes. Love Rocks. They had an amazing band for Love Rocks. It's a great charity where they feed people...

who are in need in Los Angeles who have, and give them nutritious meals. I think people who are being hospitalized or in some kind of treatment, it's a great thing. They get really good people to come out and do it. I couldn't believe

the talent that Love Rocks got out there at the Beacon Theater. It was insane. It was a surreal group of people. It was really cool. And so you and I are chatting backstage, and I think you were saying you're a fan. And I can't remember. I think I said, well, you know, you should call into the show sometime. Did I say it like that?

I cheated for sure. I was I think I was standing in there just like a babbling idiot, just nonverbal. I went fully nonverbal. And then Rebecca from Larkin Poe was like stopped you as you were trying to leave and told told you that I was a gross fan of yours. And it was gross fan mean because I didn't think I didn't think I didn't hear the term gross fan. Is that did she say gross fan?

She might have said, like, aggressive or intense, but all the same. Let me reveal something to you. This is all a trick just to get your information so that we can check on you because your intensity of your fanhood was such that we thought we need to get eyes on you. A welfare check? A welfare check? No, not a welfare check. What?

Well, I mean, if she's that big a fan of you, I'm a little worried about it. You're concerned for her. You're concerned for her employability in the world. No, I just think, you know, we have law officers watching. So this whole thing is being monitored. I just want you to know that right now. Where are you right now? Do you live in New York City? No, sir. I'm in Nashville. I love the no, sir. Yes, I'm in the military. Okay.

You live in Nashville. And so do you work with Larkin Poe? Because they're fantastic. They're very talented. Yes, I work with them and a couple other touring camps. Okay. So you're with Larkin Poe. And they actually tried to convince me to bring my guitar out on stage and just...

wing it with them. Oh, you should have. And I was telling them, I'm too scared to wing it with Larkin Poe or pretty much anybody. I'd need to, I'd need, I'd want a day of rehearsal because I'm a comedian who pretends sometimes to play an instrument. Just let go, man. No, that's not a good idea. Just get out there. Oh, what's the worst that could happen? Oh, I'll show it to you. Wink. Wink. Wink.

La, la, la. La, la, la. Larkin Poe banished from show business. Larkin Poe records plummeting. Larkin Poe's back catalog destroyed. Oh, man. Larkin splits with Poe. Yeah. Poe won't speak to Larkin. Larkin won't speak to Poe.

Conor O'Brien destroys Larkin and Poe. Larkin and Poe is now a law firm. Wait, a successful law firm. It turns out this is the best thing they ever did. There you go. Now they're back in the music business. Because they sued you. Funded by their law firm. Yeah. Look what you did. What a roller coaster that was. That was a crazy ride. I should have done that.

I should have gone out there. Yes. So when did you get addicted to, I wouldn't say addicted to, but you became a fan through the podcast? Oh, yeah. Jesus. Yeah. I'm sorry. She's clearly obsessed. Oh. And it's dangerous. Well, through the podcast, that means you like me and Gourley too, right? Oh, might be a little bit more so than Gourley. Hello!

You can go. So I'll just show myself out. Well, I say that sensitively because isn't that, you know, the point of the podcast? Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. No, it's true. A little bit. People like to see me inflate myself.

Float up to the ceiling and then these two, like in a pinata. You bash me with sticks. You're so good at setting it up. You are. You're a master at self-deflation. Perpetual self-deflation. You brought her on to this show. Yes, I brought you on to deflate me. But wait, tell us about your life. So you are with these different...

You work with several bands and you hit the road with them. Is that right? Yes, sir. I travel with them. It depends on which camp I'm in, but I usually just take care of instruments. Any groups I'd know besides Larkin Poe? Reba McEntire. Oh, my God. Wait, what was the last one? Maren Morris. Oh, wow. Jesus, this is legit. How did you, you seem very young. How did you get into this? This is a good gig.

It's I'm very lucky. It's very cool. I'm 25. Yes. And I started when I was 21, 22 with Terry Clark. Her her tour manager at the time was a friend of mine and he just needed somebody to fill in on a weekend tuning guitars. I was like, I can do that. So and then it kind of grew from there. Now you tune a guitar.

This I know. There's a little device now that goes on the neck of the guitar, so you can tune it pretty quickly, right? And is it just that the musicians are too lazy to do it for themselves? Is that what's going on here? I think it's a matter of cleaner transitions and making sure that the guitar stays in tune because they're subject to the elements outside, humidity, wind, heat, all of that. Nope. Nope. Nope. Okay. Great.

I think Reba's lazy. I think Larkin and Poe are lazy. I think Terry Clark's lazy. I mean, I think it would be very humbling and good for their fans to see them occasionally stop and tune their guitar in front of everybody. It shows them that they're down in the muck with the rest of us. Do you tune yours? Oh, they still see that.

Hey, why can't... Here's my question. You didn't answer. Please. Here's my question. I have nine. I have six people tuning my guitar, one for each string. I have a guy for the low E and the high E. Two different guys. Two different E guys? Yeah, two different E guys. I'm not going to let my low E guy...

mess with my high E guy. I keep them in separate rooms. I have six people each dedicated to one string. You got a truss rod guy? Oh yeah. That's another guy. I got a pick guard guy. What did you say to me? Capo guy. How dare you jump in there? Honestly, Eduardo, that was out of line. Eduardo, we were having a really good time and then you jump in with your capo bit.

which by the way, he tries every time and it's never perfect. It's crazy. He's always going, what about the capo? And I'm like, I'm trying to talk to Francis Ford Coppola about Megalopolis and you keep saying capo. Oh, sorry. How do you, do you still have skills at your tech? Oh, you know about skills? Yes. Yeah. I got to meet him at Beacon Theater. I meant to connect with him, but it didn't work out. What did you think of skills?

Oh, he's awesome. And yeah. Well, that wasn't really cool. We were able to get along a lot. And a chill skills has been with me.

since we did our big tour in 2010. And his job every night is I would open the show and do this song that would turn into a dance, and then I would throw my Stratocaster up in the air, and he would catch it. And he caught it every night. It was absolutely... Were you worried? No. No. I could always get another guy. It's the Stratocaster. Ha ha ha ha!

I was worried about the strats. I mean, the strats are hard to find, but yeah, I just looked at skills and I thought, you know what I mean? He'll probably be okay. He should probably wear a helmet, but no, he's great. He's terrific. And he takes really good care of me. Sometimes my guitar is perfectly fine and he'll say, let me take that guitar and give it a little refresh for you. And then I don't see it for a couple of months. That's my one complaint with skills.

And I'm going to have to talk to him about it personally, but I like airing it here on the air first. Anyway, he's my guitar tech and he goes everywhere with me and I trust him with my life. He's a good man. Yeah, we had a lot in common having very similar artists we work for. You and Rebecca Lovell. Oh, so you're saying that you also work with difficult and sane people. Yeah. Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

I would say more so chaotic than anything else. Kind of unpredictable. Yes. I am a chaos agent. Yes. I think I'm unpredictable. I'm a catalyst for joy, I believe. Oh, well. Well, anyway.

Let's just keep moving. I give and I give, but I never receive. Anyway, how do you spell your name, your first name? L-A-N-I. So it's just, do you say Lanny or Laney? Laney. Laney. Okay, that's a cool name. Where's the E? Yeah, that's a good question. She doesn't need it. Does this look like a girl who needs an E? I'm not really sure. How many people say Lonnie?

Right? A lot. More than you think. You should put a line over the A so people know that it's like the true A. You know that flat line they do that means it's the line? Yeah, Lanny. Because that would also give you kind of a cool name, you know, cachet. You're just a one-named Lanny. Just change your name. Yeah. How about Barbara? I

Gertrude. I actually like Lainey a lot. Lainey's a great name. So you're in charge of all the instruments. Have you ever lost an instrument? Has an instrument ever gone missing on your watch? On my watch, no, but the artist has forgotten their instrument at home and realized when we got to the gig.

That has happened. Why did Reba do that? Reba would never. Reba did. It was Reba. I know it was. It was the one night Reba was going to play the tuba. She's like, and now, folks, my tuba. Wait, where the hell? Sorry, that's my Reba impression. It's awful. Got a little hillbilly-ish. It's really bad. Everyone loves Reba. Everyone does love Reba. I wish I had a sitcom. Come on.

I'll get one. It's going to be called Conan. I just thought of it. Yeah. What's the premise? The premise is exactly like Reba. I have red hair and I'm living with my family and I don't know. They're a handful. You had a show named Conan. Yeah, that's true. I forgot. No, I mean a sitcom. Okay, yeah. Is it going to be Conan comma the sitcom? No one calls a sitcom the sitcom. Yeah, what would your sitcom be called? Just Conan. Just Conan? Yeah. But that's confusing.

Because you had a show named Conan for 11 years on TBS. So how would people know if they're watching the talk show or the sitcom? The Conan family. Okay. And then I play all the different characters. Green lit. So bad. What a bad idea. It's a great idea. I come home, honey, I'm home. And then you cut to the top of the stairs and it's me dressed as my wife.

Oh, Conan, you're so handsome. I thought it was going to be you come home and say, honey, I'm home. And there's just never anyone there. It's just always empty. They never existed. And there are 30 minutes of you just walking around the house, talking to yourself. Yeah. Doing bits. That might fly. Greenlit. Lainey, are you regretting that you called? Yeah. I mean. Not at all. This is the highest form of entertainment for me. Wow. We've got to get you outside. Yeah.

Touch grass, yeah. When you meet a burger that's got as much drip as you do, you know it's time to start rocking a napkin bed with your fit. No shame. Once everyone catches on to how fresh and juicy the double quarter pounder with cheese is, they'll all be stunting napkin fits. I swear.

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Start a 30-day free trial at WalmartPlus.com. Paramount Plus is central plan only. Separate registration required. See Walmart Plus terms and conditions. Here's my question. Nashville, very cool. Man, that town's blowing up.

I mean, I was there, what, like 15 years ago, and then I came back, and they were two different places. There was a long window between when I played Nashville, and it was two completely different places. It's like Atlantic City. It's overgrown. Is it overgrown? Terrible, yeah. Okay. Did you grow up in Nashville? I did not. I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri. Okay. So you're kind of an interloper, too. Mm-hmm.

you're kind of the problem. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say I'm the epicenter of the destruction. Yes. That's kind of what I was trying to get to.

The beginning of the downfall. I think the beginning of the downfall was you misrepresenting the pronunciation of your name in the spelling. Sure, sure. It is spelled incorrectly. Then you move to Nashville and say, I can't believe all these people moved to Nashville. Well, I brought them. You came in a giant mothership with hundreds of thousands of people. And now I'm going to sound like your dad.

What's the long-term plan here? That's tough to decipher when you're in the middle of touring because you love it so much and you don't necessarily want to leave, but growth is inevitable, or you'd hope. And so I think end goal would be working in sort of a production management role. So still touring, but in a higher bracket and also kind of less hands-on, I'd guess. Yeah.

Sounds like she's got it. I swear to God, I'm talking... First of all, you're 25, and you are a very impressive person. I think I didn't take you seriously because you said you were a fan. But... But...

But first of all, I would say the fact that you love what you do and you're doing it successfully at 25 is all you have to know. The next step, at the risk of being sincere, the next step will become obvious to you. But to be 25 and be doing what you love is magical. That's magical. And so you I don't worry about. I think the next step will become obvious to you by the doing of it. Don't you think? Yeah.

Yes. Well, thank you. Yeah, I'm just really enjoying saying yes to opportunities that come my way and seeing what comes from them like this, for example. If I didn't have that job, I wouldn't be able to be talking to you right now. Well, I think it was really so done, Matt. Yeah. Yeah. Now, was it Larkin or Poe who really made this happen?

Um, fun, funny enough, they're actually not Larkin and Poe. It's actually the name of the, I think fourth great grandfather of theirs and descendant of Edgar Allen. And so they just run with that. Oh,

But Rebecca and Megan are the two girls, and Rebecca's the one who stopped you and yelled at me to write down my name because I was nonverbal and couldn't collect myself. Yeah, that's right. She was yelling at you. Write down your name. Write down your name. Give it to Conan. I thought it was very strange. It was a very strange encounter. Yeah, it worked. Yeah, I know. Look what happened. We got to meet Lainey and have a nice conversation. But maybe now, Lainey, maybe I should go out on tour as a musical act. What do you think? Yeah.

Absolutely. Yes. And then you should bring me in skills and we'll have a great time. Or maybe we lose skills. Oh, well, I'm just saying, what does he bring to the table? Well, what are we going to do if you I can't do anything? I mean, Matt, you play guitar. I can't do anything. You know, I'm terrible with music. Oh, but you're very you're singing is very good. Once you show Lainey what you can do. Go ahead. I'm a terrible singer. Sing the sun will come out tomorrow. It's really good. The sun will come out tomorrow.

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow. There's a sweetness to that. I like you. No, I'm being serious. You know what? You know what? Her fuck you was more in tune than her son will come out tomorrow. Her fuck you was perfect. Were you being genuine? I was being genuine, but I retracted. I'm so sorry. I thought you were doing it

You know what? No, no, no. There was an innocence to it. Like someone discovering their voice for the first time. It's because the song is like that. But I can't sing. Sing a Cher song. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, you love Cher. Can we hear a Cher song? They say our love won't pay the rent. Before it's earned, our money's all been spent. Okay. Lainey, help me. What the?

In her defense, I think she might have more experience saying fuck you than singing. That's true. Sing fuck you. Fuck you. Oh my God. You could shatter a glass with that. She's like fuck you. She hits this impossible note and all the glasses in the neighborhood shatter. Fuck you.

Yeah, suddenly you're signed up for the Metropolitan. It's okay. Okay. I know that about myself. It's fine. You know yourself and that's your greatest quality. That's right. But I'm saying if you go on a musical tour, what do we do? Can you just pay me to do nothing? I do that now. What?

That's true. Lainey, before we go, tell us a little bit about your everyday life. You know, give us a sense of who you are. All we've talked to is the working Lainey who's yes, sir, no, sir, three bags full, sir. What do you do for fun?

When I'm home, my routine is usually, you know, take care of my dog, work out, find some way to form income that day. Good Lord. Yeah, very, very exciting. Okay. So this is just full. Any criminal would say the same thing. Find some way to create income. Let's just steal that. I know you've got a stack of wallets behind you. Yeah, I know.

But I play guitar. I like to hike. I like to be active as much as I can. I like to go to shows in town. Lainey, as you can tell, and you probably noticed when I came past the Larkin Poe dressing room that I'm a workout fiend as well. Pause. Pause. Pause. Pause. Anyway, what's your workout regimen? Me, I like weights. I like my cardio. Pause. Pause. What do you like to do? What do you lift, bro?

I usually, I put on a weighted vest. Like you've talked about recently that Liza's done. I'll walk about four mile loop. Yeah, my wife wears a weighted vest. I also wear a weighted vest.

My marital responsibilities! We all waited for it. The punchline. It was going to go three different ways. That was one of them. There was nine different ways. I was going to say the two of us were your weighted vest. No, no. That goes around my neck. That's called the lodestone. That sounds like it should get checked out. I know it does. Hey, lodestone's not a bad name for a band. Ladies and gentlemen, lodestone.

And so is that what you're going to tour as? I don't know yet. I'm thinking about, I'd like to go out on the road. I really would. And you know what? I think, um, I would trust you. I would trust you to run things on the road with skills. Okay. Would skills be upset if I put you, I would put skills beneath you. I would put you in, you'd be in charge of skills. You're asking if you think he'd be upset? Yeah. Now skills I should point out is, uh, 79 years old and you were 25, but

But still, I mean, what is he... Well, skills is much more competent. Interesting. I'm going to leave that alone. And then doesn't just tell you that he's looking for forms of income when that was the most awkward way she could have said that. It's so true. It's true. That was really weird the way you say it. No, I won't put down skills anymore because I love him too much and he's great. He's the best. But I'm glad we met. Now, can I just ask you about this meeting? Was I normal during the meeting or was I... You can say.

Well, I'm actually really glad you asked because the point I met you at, you were pretty, I think, stressed in that moment. You had a lot thrown at you from there all of a sudden giving you more tasks to do on stage and things to say. And I thought that was really cool to see, you know, the humanity of it and the humility of it of you just being vulnerable and saying, this is a lot. And it's more than what I thought I was getting into and more than I asked for. You mean he was being a diva? It was really cool. No, no, no. I was...

Oh, Maria Kellis. I wouldn't go there. No, you know what I remember is it was like a lot of things where you show up and you're told you're going to do one thing and then suddenly it keeps multiplying. And what happens is anybody, you just get a, it's fear. It's just fear. Yeah. It's like, oh shit, I didn't know I was going to do that. What if that doesn't go well? Like I had that one song I knew I was going to do up front.

and then introduce the show, start the show. But then when there's more than that, there's fear, and that never goes away. I'm always waiting for that to go away. And then I realized, Jesus, if it hasn't gone away now, that is never going away. You'd probably see that. But that's cool, like...

All the time. Yeah. It was really a gift to see, to see that, like, cause that fear still gives you drive and it's a reason to keep doing what you're doing. And it was just cool. The whole like celebrities, they're just like us thing to see that somebody you look up to isn't, isn't too different. Some of them are not like us. There's some soulless bastards out there. And I found that out too. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do the names on the next podcast. Yeah. Call in and just give the names, but we all know who we're talking about. Jason Bateman. Well,

Oh, come on. Jason knows I'm kidding. Monster.

It was very nice talking to you. And finally getting the word out on Jason Bateman. Yeah, it's time. Take him down. Yeah. No, ask anyone. Ask Will Arnett. He'll tell you. Monster. Monster posing as a man. It was lovely talking to you. I hope our paths cross again. Next time you see me backstage, I will say this. If it's before I've gone on, I will be nervous. Someone a long time ago told me, if you're not nervous before you go on, something's wrong.

So I think that's true. That's really cool. I think that's the good news and the bad news about this business, but very cool talking to you. I think show business and music is in good hands if you're out there. Seriously. Thank you. And I do have a question if that's appropriate. Oh yeah, of course. Um, and a little bit of context that isn't exactly kind. Um, I grew up kind of hating you, I guess.

Oh, I love the way this is going. Which I knew Stoneman and Matt would enjoy. Go on. And then around, well, in college, my best friend introduced me to the podcast, and I absolutely fell in love with it. Well, that's nice. And so I was telling my mom about it, and I was saying, why did I hate him? Like, what's going on? Like, why didn't I never think he was funny? And she said that when I was a small child, so like toddler age, you would come on the screen and terrify me, and I would scream any time I saw your hair. Yeah.

So...

You didn't like me because as a child, my hair, I frightened you when you were in a formative stage. You were too young and you were frightened by the weird Muppet on TV. That's what I've been told, yes. And I guess that grew and I never questioned it. That's a great question. Oh, okay. That's not a question at all. The question would be, what tactics would you use to convince a child who is afraid of you to not be afraid? Okay.

Well, that's really creepy. That's creepy on so many levels. I have some candy, little child. Get in my van. You like vans?

Here's a red balloon. Oh, my God. You know what I've always noticed? I'll answer this seriously, even though this is an invitation to be arrested. I just did this last night because I was over at Sona's house and she has twins who are almost three. What I've always done is with little kids is because I'm 6'4", and then...

my features and my hair can be frightening, actually, to people of all ages. I get down on the floor and get lower than them. And animals and kids chill when you're smaller than they are. So I just get on the floor and I got on the floor of Mikey and Charlie's room, Sona, and you weren't there. And they both immediately just start kind of jumping on me and bashing me, but laughing and having a good time because...

I'm now smaller than they are. You're on their level. I'm beneath their level and I'm beneath them and they knew I was always beneath them. So that's, I guess, my tactic. I apologize for that being creepy. I was unintentional. No, no. No, but I like how it started with, I, for most of my life, hated you. No.

And then there was a medium where I couldn't see you but could hear you. But from a toddler's perspective, you can be scary because you also do like close up shots of your face a lot. You dance around. Yeah. I'm a little toddler. I'd be like, oh, my God, what's happening with this guy? Yeah. He's very needy. Something's wrong with him. Well, I appreciate the honesty of the question. And I hope you can go back and review the best of some of my early work and maybe reevaluate it.

Oh, I have an eye door. It's great. And I realized what I've been missing. I realized what I was missing. Yes. Oh, she's my favorite now. Yeah. Okay. Well, we're going to jump off, but really nice to talk to you again. I'm glad this worked out. My best to the ladies of Larkin Poe. And thank you so much for calling in. This is cool. Well, thank you. I really appreciate it. It was great meeting up with you. All right. Take care. Bye bye. Thanks. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with

with Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. ♪

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode.

And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.

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