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What is up, my gratifying gigglers? Welcome to the meditation app where we giggle the whole time. It's okay. We're actually not going to be calm because Paige was on the Today Show this morning. It was amazing, but all I could think of was, wow, they get up this early every single day. No. And not even, I mean, I couldn't imagine. It's not early. It's middle of the night.
And they start at 7 a.m., so I couldn't imagine what time those people are getting up. They have to be getting up at like 3.30 or 4. I was saying I just started watching the morning show, and their alarm goes off at 3.30. That's basically the most interesting part of the plot of the morning shows is 3.30 alarms. Diabolical. It's crazy. Because I know that I'll be like, I want to go to 8, and then one TikTok wormhole, it's 4 a.m. I'm late to work. When I was in college, I interned at a –
news station and I had to go in and do like the overnight shift one time. Yeah. And that's when I realized I wasn't a working girl. I do have to say you looked good on daytime TV. I feel my most self on daytime TV. It was...
Like, for example, me, I'm scared. I just want to say the word cunt whenever, like... Yes, like a camera comes on you. A camera comes on me. Like, I'm literally fighting for my life to not say something inappropriate. You, like, honestly, if I was Savannah, I'd be shaking. You'd try to come for a job. Shaking. That is something people don't talk about is our everyday jargon not suitable for morning TV. No, and, like, comedy is about, like...
A punchy word. You have to be quick. You can't overthink it. Yeah. So you have to almost go through like three layers in your head before you come out with a clean version. Also, not to toot my own horn about your experience. Right, not to bring it back to you. To me. And I know you did a fashion segment. First of all, crazy you didn't ask me for any advice. To be one of the models. No, I'm not that crazy. Weird that you went in my closet and took everything. I mean, you could have been like, you know, I talked to fashion expert. I had a burner. I had a burner.
Last night, I did something I never do. I can't wait. You picked out your outfit. No, I saw something online and I was like, I think Paige would like this. Yes. Now, if you text something to Paige and say you think she'll like it and she doesn't like it, first of all, it's an insult to her. Second of all, it's embarrassing. Third of all, I wasted everyone's time. So I was like... Wait, we should start screenshotting more of our texts because recently they've been more unhinged than ever, I feel like.
Like, Hannah sent me a pair of shoes and I just sent back no. Like, I didn't... Because I did... I was doing something and I saw the text and I looked quickly and I'm like... No, but you know what I said? I looked in the mirror and I said, you have to do better. You can do better. So then I saw this stout. Is it stout or stod? Stod. Stod.
I saw the stored dress and I said, you know what? I think the page would look like this. Did I have to send it? No. Did I want you to think? And I did love it. I loved that dress. So you loved it and then I got a little crazy and I saw another one I thought you'd like and I sent it and you were like, yeah, I like that too. And then the third one was the dress that you ended up wearing
But I didn't send because I thought that it was a little too, might be too wild for you. Yeah. No, you nailed it. But you wore it. Am I your stylist? How crazy. Hannah styled me for the Today Show this morning. Well, I'm very connected to you. I originally bought that dress for my mom. Oh. Because I was like, oh, this will be a nice for a birthday gift for her. Yeah. She wore it in Vegas. She can't wear it again. And so I said,
hey, you already wore that dress. Do you have anything else that you're planning on wearing it to? And she said no, and so I took it back. Mom-daughter swapping of clothes is an important part of the woman nature. She'd hemmed it already for me. Oh, my God. It's just, speaking of fashion, I think you're going to be excited about this trend coming up. Is it ugly? No.
I really love Ugly Chimes. Kind of. What is it? So you know how Coastal Grandmother was having like a full, they had years. Coastal Grandmother was having like a long run. 2024 is all about the electric grandpa. What?
Electric Grandpa sounds like my DJ name. You heard it here first. Electric Grandpa? Coastal Grandmother is out and it's all about your electric grandpa. It doesn't mean like a zany older man? It's very like the style of dressing is like very Hailey Bieber in the sense of like a little boxer shorts, like shorts, a high sock.
Oh, so like he's been reading the New York Times. A big leather jacket. Oh, I love that. And like cool sunglasses. Wait, I love that. Electric grandpa. Yeah. So that's your 2024 vibe. Gen Z is doing that to us. And also, did you hear that Gen Z is like...
Like we had this moment in like 2018 and they're like acting like they invented it but whatever. They're doing this thing where they're buying glasses that have no prescription and they're just wearing glasses. I saw that and I want to do it. You want to get glasses? You know how everyone had braces when you were younger and you like low key was like okay well I want to get braces. I want to pick the color bands that I have in my teeth. And then you get them and you're like fuck it sucks. Everyone had glasses and I never had glasses because I have perfect eyesight. Right.
Sorry about it. Sorry if there's an apocalypse. I'm going to survive. What's your, what would be your style? Glass. Like, are you, we need to go glasses shopping because-
I like what Emma Chamberlain's doing. Like nerdy, old, kind of mini type. Like not ugly. Yeah, ugly. Ugly. Like they look cheap. Yes. Like the glasses look cheap. Like they look like you could step on them and they'll just shatter. Yeah, like you got them at CVS. Yes. Yeah. I've actually been to some CVSs recently and I was like, oh, I would fucking. Because they come in like the case. I identify as. An electric grandpa. A cool Gen Z girl and a grandpa. And I have no in between. Yeah. Yeah.
I do have to say, you know what I also have been liking for winter? But I don't think I could pull it off. The big fuzzy hats. Like the Pamela Anderson hats? Yeah. I was about to say, Brooke Schofield. Why do we do that? Brooke Schofield. Shout out to Brooke. She's going through it right now in the best way. In the best way. There's something about
And she listens to Giggly Squad because I hit her up and she was like, by the way, I've been listening to you. We need to go out to LA and hang out with them because there's something about the way Brooke does her TikTok videos that like, this is going to sound so creepy, but I can watch her TikTok videos without any sound because I like the way she talks with her hands and the way her mouth moves. There's something very like ASMR to me about it. So the reason why Brooke is iconic is she's actually...
Both her and Tana are hysterical people, which is why I think we gravitate towards their energy. But she like licks her lips a lot.
Okay. And when she talks. Yeah. And people were, like, commenting because people comment on everything. And she was like, I lick my lips because I have dry lips because I'm on a medication that caused my lips to be dry. So go fuck yourself, motherfucker. Wait, and people were, like, mad at her? People didn't. People were just saying, like, it's so annoying that you lick your lips. Sometimes on Giggly Squad, people are like, you breathe too heavy or, like, you. And I'm like, whoa. So you have to breathe. I literally, sometimes I'll be like, don't breathe. Okay.
Well, famously, my first ever podcast I ever did was with Taylor Strecker and I ate a scone the whole time. I remember. They call it scone gate because I, it was like a three hour radio show. My biggest fear is being hungry. So it's like I had a scone, I had a banana, I had a yogurt. I don't know if people know that about you, that your biggest fear is literally. I literally have a snack bar right next to me just in case. Any point in time if you're hungry. As if.
What if we don't live in the most gluttonous country in the world? There's a McDonald's on every corner. I do have to say, you know the movie Trainwreck? Yeah. One of my favorite scenes is when she was like, I'm starving, to the doctor. And he's like, oh no, what have you had to eat today? And she's like, a tuna fish sandwich and some chips. She's like, nothing, really? That's what I do. My mom's like, why are you so hungry at 3 o'clock? And I'm like, I haven't eaten anything but like a griddle, seven griddle. What?
I ate leftovers from Chicken Parmesan last night. So anyway, shout out to Brooke with her fuzzy hat. I just think, I know I have a big head energy. Like if you hear my voice, you're like, that girl has a big fucking head. But I actually have a very small head. Wait, have you done the TikTok filter where it shows you like if you were bald? No. Don't do it. Because I was like, oh.
I can do this filter. Like, I feel like I have, like, a small head. Like, it might look good bald. I have an obscenely large noggin. You mean compared to the rest of your body? Yeah, I was just like, oh, my God, is my head like that? But then I thought maybe it was just, like, the AI. But anyway, it... I was having a little too much fun with the Justin Bieber filter. Haven't seen that one. Okay, so you put it on, you just, like, look like Justin Bieber. I did to Des. And then Hailey Bieber, shout out, my love, did it to Justin Bieber, and it was iconic. It's good.
It's getting very meta in this life. TikTok is very meta. And things are moving so fast, the trends, that I don't even know what's happening. Oh, I also wrote, TikTok shop is sketchy. TikTok shop is sketchy. Can we just discuss? I ordered a couple things from it. I ordered bangs. I sent them to you. I ordered them. I got them today and I put them on and Craig was like, what are those?
My name is Devanya. It wasn't. I need to get the ones I wore in Vegas because those were like I ordered on TikTok. They were six dollars. Yeah. Like the idea was there. OK. But this is the thing with TikTok shop. One stuff is getting canceled all the time. So you can't buy something that you like need. OK. Like my orders. A lot of orders are getting canceled or they're saying like some stuff like if you order snail mucin.
It's not the real... It's not always the real thing. And then some people were saying, I'm just throwing this out here. Some things on Amazon are not...
beauty products are not always what they say to be. So just like keep an eye out in these streets. No, for beauty products, you can tell though when it's not, like if any beauty products aren't on Prime, I tend to be weary. Yeah, because it's like from a random. That's a really good way to look. Yeah. Because if it's like a random, like perfect example is like that skincare product, Biologique, that like you can only buy from them or like from a store that sells it. Oh, I think I definitely bought that.
on Amazon, right? Because they DM'd me and they were like, we don't sell on Amazon. Stop promoting this. And I thought they were DMing me being like, you're our new face of our line. So I think Stassi, the...
Kylie Jenner's friend posted a link on Amazon and I bought it because I'm like, $35 is supposed to be the best? Yeah. Wow. No, you got to watch out. But we're such hypocrites because we want the dupes on Amazon for the clothes, but then we don't want the dupes for the stuff you put on your skin. Well, because that's like...
It's going into your body. It's going into your blood. Or it's just like nothing. Like it's just water. I feel like I was so scared as a child that more things were going to get into my blood and I was going to die because I feel like I have just like in my mom's voice. I was sure I was going to trip on a nail and get tetanus. She's like, yeah. For sure. Yeah. I was like, watch out for the nails today. She's like, that's going to get in your bloodstream and then you'll die. Or rabies. I was very worried about rabies. Yeah.
They're basically like, one thing in a general is going to bite you. And then around then, I'm like, do I have rabies? I feel like they made rabies. Like, if you legit got it, you just go to the hospital and they give you a shot. You're not foaming at the mouth. Whenever you see a squirrel acting a little weird, they'd be like, he has rabies. Yeah.
Or like an animal that's not supposed to be awake. We have rapes. We're literally, we have rapes. I remember my friends like literally running away from like a bird being like, that bird has rapes. I thought that.
Also, we were going to encounter quicksand more in our lives, but I've never seen it. I've never even been somewhere that it could possibly be. Do you know what actually I can't deal with is red ants. Apparently, the only thing I'm allergic to in this whole life, knock on wood, is red ants. Interesting. Because I got bit by a red ant in Arkansas. Apparently, they're only in the South. And I'm such a Yankee doodle that I went to the South. Oh my God, this is so embarrassing. Yeah.
So Becca and I have a different dynamic than me and you. When I'm with Becca, I'm a beauty queen. Because Becca is like, she's so funny and she's just so like tomboy. Like I literally am Bella Hadid. So we're hanging out and she was into photography and I was like, well, then let's take some photos of me. 19. 19.
Arkansas and I was like we have to find cool places so we found this like no we found a railroad just mental picturing you modeling for Becca has me in a fucking tizzy like I go paint me like one of your French girls
Is Becca still into photography? No, Becca would have a different hobby every three seconds. But she had this, like, cool camera, and I remember we were, like, taking photos on this bridge, and then we saw this railroad, which— Wait, not gonna lie, your modeling is really good. Like, your actual, like, art of modeling, I'm not even, like, being funny. Like, you are good. Wait, wait.
Let me just enjoy this moment. Like the photo shoot you just did when you were like, what was that like Michael Jackson pose you were doing? Oh, when I was going backwards? Yeah, I was like, oh my God, she's never stretched in her life. No, I don't know who I was when I... I was like, she has tight hip flexors. When I do photos, like I want to be editorial. I want to be like weird. I want to be like crazy. No, you did it. Oh my God. I tried really hard. But also, honestly, I did this photo shoot for the House Magazine, whatever. And...
The team was so fucking good. Like, the photographer, the stylist, the hair, the makeup. Like, it was like a dream team of people. And then my job was just to, like, not look awkward on set. Yeah. And the lighting was really good. And the ladies... The photographer actually matters so much. At first I thought, I'm like, okay, they literally just press click. No. But they make you feel a vibe. Yeah. And, like...
you can tell when the person feels awkward in front of the photographer. It's all about connecting with the photographer. So Beck and I were connecting. She was like, lay down, arm over. I don't know what, but I think all of us deep down wanted to be a model.
I think so. And, like, you actually were it? Is that, like, because I always thought, like, I was the only person. Because no one ever, like, no one talks about it, though, when you're little. Because I feel like it's, like, a deep down secret. Like, when you would look at, like, magazines, you'd be like, oh, I wish I, like, I want to do that. Well, growing up with Seventeen Magazine or whatever, you see a girl doing a photo shoot and you envision, maybe it's us being narcissists, but you envision one day. That being you. I'll have the fan. Yeah. And I'll be like, oh.
Tell my agent I'm calling back. No, I literally used to say to my mom, hey, I don't need to study this because I'm going to be famous. And she would be like, stop! But the thing is, I knew that one, I wasn't tall enough to be a model. And two, I quickly went into sports. Yeah. And also three, I was pretty ugly as a kid. Yeah.
Just throwing it out here. I wasn't, no, I wasn't ugly, but people were not commenting on my looks. Got it. Like, no one was like, let's stop the dinner and just address how pretty Hannah looks today. Or when they did, I felt like it was like, she's so pretty. You know what I mean? Oh, we put a headband on her. She's a girl. And then I like took it off and threw it. I was like, I hate this fucking hat.
So anyway. See, we couldn't have been more different as children because like I would come downstairs like at four years old, like ready for the day in like my Barbie matching outfit and my heels. And I'd be like, mom, like we have to go do our things. Like I was always dressed. So as I've been putting so much more effort into my fashion, I've
It actually hit me, like, why you love it so much. Because recently I put something... I put an outfit together and I tried hard on it. Like, I really... Like, it's embarrassing. Yeah. How much you tried. And then I walked outside and someone said...
I love your outfit. Yeah. And that high you get of you being like, I deliberately put this together. I did it. Because I get a lot of mean girls like, oh, I love your bracelet. Where'd you get that? Yeah. Where, like, I could tell they were like, oh, that's a vibe. Like, I want to do that. And I got a high that I was like, this is what Paige is chasing every day. It's a different high. Because if people like your outfit, that means they respect you as a person. No way.
People treat you differently. No, people treat me differently. Talk about pretty privilege. Outfits. Like, I can see a girl. Also, like, because I've loved it for so many years, I feel like now I can see a girl, like, in a crowd and know that she's wearing, like, a crazy expensive outfit, but no one would know. Unless, like, you knew that certain brand or something. Or you know she's, like,
on a trend that like is just starting. Yeah, that's like micro. Only certain people know about it or could pull it off. It is like girl code. I always think once like
Because I was, like, modeled when I was younger and I would see certain, like, trends or, like... Because in New York City, people just do dress better than other parts of the country because it's, like, they... No, they do, though. It's one of the fashion... Are you coming for Oklahoma City again? First you said they don't have air conditioning. Now you're saying they dress like shit. I literally love Oklahoma City. Can't spell it, but...
Because New York City is one of the fashion capitals of the world. So obviously girls are going to dress better. No, my high school, like, the hallways of Beacon were, like...
The girls were wearing next level shit. Like I swear people would see what the high school girls at Beacon were wearing and it would like in six months be on Elle. So like the perfect example is the no pants trend. I wore it last year on Christmas. Like because I saw a girl in New York City doing no pants and I was like that's about to be a trend. And now Beyonce's in it. And like so now it's it takes a full year for it to get to the masses. Once it gets to the masses it's out of style. So like no pants out of style.
See, that is, that's crazy. And you have to put effort into it. I think my thing was I was just so focused on like sports and school or being silly that I was like, I don't have time to address this like whole other. It's a whole other world. A whole other world. You want sports. I went the other way. Like I was in high school and I was like, could I join the track team? Yeah, I could. And then I was like, why would I ever? I gotta go. Do I become a professional beer pong player? Yeah.
So I'm modeling on the railroad track, which apparently is like you're not supposed to do. Like it's not like socially acceptable. It's unsafe. Why though when MySpace was around, there were so many available railroad tracks for photo shoots? I have no idea. But like you see the railroad track and you're like, this is a good idea. So I'm like, you know, like around the railroad track getting photos taken. Just a boxcar child. Just like holding coal. Yeah.
Just refurbishing. I don't even know what people would do. We have no idea. What would you do to a train track? Okay. So then suddenly I start itching. Okay.
You start itching? I start itching my foot. Like, my foot is itching. And I'm like, oh, my God. I remember itching it. And Becca was, like, talking about the photos and how good of a model I am. And I was scratching my foot. The next thing you know, you know, like, I started seeing, like, colors. Stop. Oh, my God. Like, I started seeing, like, green and red. I remember being, like, something's happening. Like, you're about to pass out. And I was like, we have to go to the hospital.
So Becca, we get into the car and I was like, call 911 because I'm like blacking out. I think I was going to anaphylactic shock. How do you spell anaphylactic? Don't even...
So I basically start sweating profusely and I'm blacking out and Becca said she gave me a water and I took the water and I just threw it. Because I think I was just like fighting for my life. And they dumped it on your head. How many times did you get bit, do you think? I have no idea. But I'm blacking out. I'm in a foreign country. I'm in Arkansas. Like I'm so scared. My family's not there. Do they have a hospital? No.
I literally could never move from New York City because any town I move to, they're going to be like, you talk shit about us. You said we don't have air conditioning. That's what they had. They have one hospital. Yeah. They had a hospital. I got there and like you don't just get into the emergency room and I'm like, I'm not even aware of stuff at this point. Yeah. I go straight to the bathroom and I lie down on the bathroom floor because I'm like, I
I'm dying. I'm literally dying. There's no other way to put it. I don't know what's happening. I'm also having a panic attack. Whenever anything physical happens to me, I'm having a panic attack. And I'm just lying. Minor inconvenience. At this point, have you called your mom? No. Because my mom would be on a plane immediately. At this point, I was still blackout. And I'm like, it's so hard to be a model. Modeling is so difficult.
My model day is over. And that's when I decided to throw in my hat and say, I'm done. That's when I was like, fashion's not for me. And then they gave me some whatever.
I started feeling better after like three hours and her whole family was there. Like it was so embarrassing because I was like visiting for the weekend. Main character energy. And then they basically were like, you're allergic to red ants. So you either have to walk around with a what's that? EpiPen. EpiPen, which is so much admin. I'm not walking around with an EpiPen. So do you? No, I just don't go down south. Oh, okay. So you just like avoid wherever red ants are.
I mean, let's be honest, I don't. Where are they? They're apparently in the South, and I've been in the South and seen a red ant, but I guess I must have, like, stepped on... I don't know what happened to this day. I've never even seen one. Are they legit red, or are they just... They're red. Like, red like your sweater? Yeah, and tiny. But, like, the average person, I guess... Sweaters are short. You could get rabies. I can't believe you should walk around with an EpiPen, but you don't. Because I don't...
I feel like that's dramatic. So if someone wanted to kill you, they could just unleash a bunch of red ants and... That was so Scorpio of you just to say. You're like, so if I wanted to end it for you... I unleashed... I even unleashed them in my... You go, that's crazy because I just got a pet red ant. Yeah.
We're so stupid. I've never even heard of red ants until this day. I thought it was made up. I think they just didn't know what was happening and they were like, you got bit by a red ant. It's good to know that you're allergic to something, though. Like, I should know that as your friend. Like, does she have any allergies? Red ants! You know what the table is. No, like, I should know that. Do you have any allergies? Also, the asking for allergies at the beginning of...
Like when you're at a restaurant. Yeah, let's talk about it. Has gotten too far. And I'm fine with them asking if there are any allergies at the table. Yeah. But sometimes they'll ask three or four times. And I'm like, did someone die here? Here's the other thing with the allergies at the table. Stop. You don't like fish. You're not allergic to salmon. It's just like...
Grow up. You're not allergic to cilantro. All nuts? Every single one? Have you had every single one? So then there's this conspiracy theory. I don't think, I think it's a fact that like our generation is so allergic to peanuts. Like definitely allergic to peanuts. Yeah. Because we weren't exposed enough to peanuts because people were
Allergic, yes. I don't know. It's like a chicken or the egg thing. So basically when you have a kid, just like... Give them a bunch of peanut butter. Put peanut butter on their face. You know what? I've never thought about... Don't listen to us. Don't listen to us, but... Oh, but also I need... I'm sorry. I need to circle back on something. Someone's calling you. It's my manager. What were we just saying? We're fired. Cut the podcast. It's over for us.
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After you purchase, they may ask where you heard about them. Please support Giggly Squad and tell them that we sent you. Honeys, you deserve this. Free the pain and discomfort. Keep the support with Honey Love. Did you see what I did to the peanut butter cookie last week? So I was having one of those moments where I'm like, you know what will save the day? Something sweet. Yeah. It's like the end of the day and I'm like, I need one more sweet thing because I barely eat in all day. Yeah.
You're not a huge sweets person. I'm never craving sweets. So when you are craving it, you do have to have it. I'll crave like cakey stuff. Yeah. But I'll never be like, I need a chocolate. So I'm like, I have a frozen cookie. Because someone delivered me cookies once. Yeah. And I'm not going to eat like eight cookies in one sitting. So I put them in the fridge. Smart. No, in the freezer. Yeah. So I took it out and like, I'm not a chef. But Michelin star. I'm a Michelin star chef. But not an everyday chef. But I'm not with frozen cookies. Yeah.
So I'm like, it's frozen. Yeah. You can't just put it in the microwave for like 10 seconds. Right. I just, I have this thing with the microwave where I just do everything the same time. Everything I put in the microwave, I put it two minutes. Everything. Popcorn, chicken parmesan. How many times are we going to talk about chicken parmesan? You know what? It's not a bad number to have. It's either like, oh, put it in for another minute or, okay, that's really fucking hot.
But bad things don't technically happen. But two minutes usually is a sweet spot. I've never burned down a house because of two minutes. So I put it in. And two minutes is also perfect where, like, I can literally go and pee and come back and be done. Because for some reason, four is a long time. I can't wait. Yeah. And I also don't like when it gets to the beep. And I always open before the beep. Well, that's just common courtesy. Des hates it.
Desmond Lee walked by the microwave and it says like .04 and he's like, oh, someone microwaved. But it's just being courteous to the other people that live around you to not hear that like, and the beep is always so, it's like, okay, calm down. Yeah, we get it. So I waited till like three seconds and I opened it up and the cookie's black. And I'm so mad because I'm like, I never have cookies. Because Hannah, you can't put something that's frozen in the microwave. You can. Can you? Yeah.
Can you put things that are frozen? It's heat, like it melts stuff. I think I put it too long. No, I don't. No, I don't. Tell me what it says when you go, can you microwave something frozen? Because you definitely could microwave something frozen. It says, yes, it's safe to reheat frozen leftovers without thawing either in a saucepan or a microwave. So that's what microwaves are for. Am I the only one?
Having a stroke? Have I ever microwaved something frozen? I literally can't think. What do you do when something's frozen then? You put it in the oven? I think I'm in the oven. She's old school. She's a homemaker. I get a blowtorch. Don't you have a blowtorch? What's that thing you bought? What? Wire cutter. No, what is it called? Bolt cutters. Bolt cutters. I have bolt cutters. But I love a fucking torch.
No, I make Craig buy me a, not a weed whacker, a leaf blower. And I fucking love it. I love like, I don't know. For like when he's annoying you. Both, honestly, both. Wait, do you know on TikTok, all the girls are like, 10 holiday gifts under $500 for your cool friend. Please do that and just be like, blow to all the girls.
Do you want to know why I originally was like, Craig, you've got to get a leaf blower. He was like, I have one, but like, I just have to charge it. And he was like, why? What do you need it for? And I was like, there's this TikTok trend. The subway girl. I was like, but I need wind. It looks like I'm a fan. You're like, I need a wind blower. So you just want me to hold the leaf blower and film your videos?
Um, no, not usually. Because you don't trust him? Or because he's like... No, it's just like, anytime I ask a guy to do, honestly, to do anything, just like, oh, I'll do myself. Do you know that... No, they just don't know things. Yeah, and you don't explain to them, and then they get insecure, because... Yeah, and then I end up having to talk to them about their...
like picture taking skills rather than worrying about like the picture I freaking need and I'm like I'll just set up my ring camera 100% also do you know speaking of leaves I'm so happy you brought this up
I love talking about this. Des randomly was, like, talking to my mom about, you know, mature adult stuff. And he was like, do you know, like, you don't actually have to get leaves off your lawn? Like, who said you need to get the leaves off your lawn? Before the snow? Yeah. Yeah. Like, there's no, there's not, like, a good reason why the leaves need to be gone besides, I guess, like, aesthetically. Okay. So, like, or someone said it might be even bad to move the leaves. Hmm.
I think I made that up. Can you Google is it bad to move the leaves? Can you microwave leaves? Okay, and where was he going with this? He basically was just like giving an excuse to do less.
I was going to say, it's not in the house. Everyone's like us if someone told us to rake the leaves. Actually, scientifically, it's not really good for your lung. That literally sounds like me trying to get out of raking leaves. Speaking of leaves, I wrote salads.
Okay, here we go. Excessive leaf matter on your lawn going into the winter is bad for several reasons. First, it will smother the grass and if not removed very soon, in the spring, it will inhibit growth. Second, it can promote the snow mold diseases. You don't want those snow mold diseases. Wait, so Des was wrong. Literally, put that in your pipe and smoke it, Des. Oh my God, I have to go home and report this immediately. Because he told this to my mother. He needs to be out there raking, Des.
Is honestly Why does he get a lot of leaves In the Hamptons You guys get a lot of leaves We don't even have a yard Oh Why are you guys so concerned Because I guess We were talking about My mom's leaves Oh my god Men can say anything And I believe them No it's It's annoying Like they could say things With like authority So much confidence And him being 6'5 You're like oh He's the president Obviously Literally Okay I'll listen So my thing with salads Is I will eat them But I always have to order Like the breaded chicken Yeah
Yeah. I will eat everything but the salad. When did you do this? Recently? This week? Every time I've ever eaten the salad. Because I just ordered from Sweetgreen maybe four days ago. I do love Sweetgreen. I do. I love it. Well, I make my own salad because, you know, I like my certain things.
And it gets there, and I was like, wow, that's a lot of lettuce. Like, it's a lot of lettuce, you know? Like, it's too much for the salad. So I, like, took half the lettuce out. Yeah. Because it is just, like, a big bowl in general. Like, you're not going to eat that much. Actually, it was sweet green that I wrote this about because—
It's so much lettuce. But also, you get rice in it. And I'm like, let's stop saying that this is not a rice bowl with lettuce on top. So I take half the lettuce out and I'm like eating it. And I'm like, this is like so a lot of lettuce. So I take more lettuce out. And then I look down and I realize I'm no longer eating a salad. I'm just eating cucumbers and cheese. What?
And I'm just like every time I eat a salad. Wow. I love ordering taco salads. No, I love ordering taco salads with a side tortilla as if that's not just. Have you ever eaten taco, ordered a taco salad and you didn't know it came with the fried bowl? And then the whole time you eat only the fried bowl. And then you go, how did I end up eating the most unhealthy?
thing possible when I literally came here with good intentions there are times where I've been hyped to order the taco salad and then you see it come out in the fried bowl and you're like I didn't even know I'm like now I'm gonna shit myself all day cause I can't not eat it if it's in front of me like those people have self control to not eat the fried bowl is next level also people are people are dying oh
From the charged lemonade at Panera. What? Have you heard about this? No. Do you know about the charged lemonade? Yeah. How are they dying? So this one girl had kind of a little bit of a heart problem, but she was very careful about it. She never drank too much caffeine before.
Apparently it has the caffeine of like double a coffee. It's like insane. Something insane. Chris is so busy today. This girl drank it and ended up having like a heart or something and died. How old was she? Do you know? She was young. She was like around. I mean, so Panera's PR. Hey! Hey!
But they also were saying that charged lemonade doesn't even advertise properly that it is a crazy caffeinated drink. So people think they're just getting a little spicy lemonade. Okay, Chris, what are your findings? There's 237 milligrams of caffeine. It's also listed before as having 390, and coffee has 90 milligrams. 30?
390? Yeah, they're killing motherfuckers out here. Okay, so Panera's actually a drug cartel. Yeah, they're not saying caffeinated. They're heroin, cocaine. I knew they were. No, they were putting things in those bread bowls. Like, what is going on? So, like, hopefully this is being dealt with because the guy who's friends with the girl came on my TikTok and he was like, look, like, what's the point?
No. What is... Like, okay, you can have, like, a caffeinated lemonade. Who at Panera was like, push it up. Keep going. More. More. Like, why? Also, no one knows what a milligram is. No one knows what a milligram is? No one knows what a milligram is. Like, for all I know, a milligram sounds really fucking little. It has milli in it. It's really small. And if you know the Lil Wayne song, a milli, it's like one millionth. So when I hear 390, I'm like, I can handle 390. Yeah.
That's girl math. You're like, but they're tiny. No one knows what is an ounce. That is so fucking made up. I don't know any of that stuff. Also, when people say stone. Isn't that in England? Yeah, it is. She's like, I'm 40 stone. I've never heard that. And I'm like, that's...
Is that the equivalent of like pounds? It's not equivalent. Okay. No, but that is, it is crazy to think that like America measures everything completely differently. Like why? That was the Nate Bargetzi sketch on SNL where he was playing like one of the founding fathers and he's like, one thing we have to do is change the entire metric system just for America. Yeah, like what is the point of that? Nothing. I mean, it doesn't matter because I don't know either. I don't know either metric systems. You don't have to know. One stone is equal to 14 pounds.
One stone is equal to 14 pounds. Chris, are you dating? Yeah.
Not dating anybody specifically. Why did your voice crack? Yeah. I had an incident today. You had an incident? Because it's tough out there. I had an incident today. Get to the mic. What happened? Today? It's only 1 o'clock. What is your dating set that you had an incident? Somebody that doesn't live in New York was, we had plans to see each other. But she was like, oh. Oh, you flew in an Instagram baddie? No. She was like, oh. She flew herself in. She's a woman in STEM. That's a good point. Yeah.
So she was like, oh, the weather's bad, but I'll be here Tuesday and Wednesday. And I'm busy on Tuesday and Wednesday. She got very angry with me. This is my question to you, Chris. Yes. There are four billion girls on this block in New York City. Why are you trying to date the one girl that's not in town? I'm not trying to date her. Did you meet on a dating app or Instagram? Huh? Did you meet on a dating app? In real life. Oh, you met in real life. Okay, that's unsafe for her. Wow, how crazy. I'm sorry. I didn't even give that as an option. That is a little off. I was like, wait, I'm at a bar.
Huh? You met her at a bar? No, I know her from back home. Oh. And she lives back home or she lives in a totally different state? Different city, yeah. Different city. Okay, we'll bring her on the pod next week and get her side of the story. Wait, I want to start saying that in situations to people that don't have podcasts. Like in any...
I've thought this in my head moving forward. Like any problem my friend comes to me with, I'm going to say, well, let's bring him on the podcast. Yeah.
Oh my God. I have a new dating like theory that is fucking amazing. Okay. Shit. I can't credit the right person, but it was not for me. It was someone on TikTok and you can search TikTok for this. Girl or guy? It was a guy. Okay. But he was like girl's girl. Yeah. He basically said, this is so fucking incredible, that men date.
From zero. So when men meet you and start dating you, you're a zero. And you have to build up to earn them wanting to date you. Where girls date from 100. We meet you and we go, you are perfect. And then we realize all the things that get you down. And I've never heard anything more fucking accurate. We go in reverse order. We go in reverse. Because if I'm meeting you, I've already thought,
In my head. Yes. What your personality is like. Yes. What your family's like. What you dress like. Yes. What our life is going to be like together. And then I meet you and you're none of those things because obviously that's insane. I make them up in my head. Where men, I guess, don't make stuff up in their head and immediately they're just like. Well, how do they get through the day? That's very accurate. So boring. Right? Entirely accurate. Which is so crazy because I'm like, when a guy meets me, I'm like, obviously I'm 100. You ever just randomly on a Tuesday make yourself mad? Like, try it one time. What?
but it is crazy to think that and then there's that moment where like you can meet perfectly but there's also those moments you know when you first meet a guy how like you like him more than he likes you and then after two weeks you're like I can't stand this guy because you're your 100 is now at 20 and he's going up and you miss each other but it's
I mean, we're not smart enough to know why this is, but I guess with women, it's like, we're rooting for you. Yeah. No, we literally are. We want you to be great because I think it helps with the patriarchy that we need a man. Yeah. And then they don't, they're not rooting for you. They don't want to settle down type. Yeah, like they don't care. You should be chasing them. Yeah, like, are you good enough for me? Yeah. But we need us flip that.
So when you meet a guy, start at zero. Going into dates, I would always go into dates with men being 100. I'd be like, he's perfect. And then immediately... And then sometimes he'll even do not perfect things. And you'll be like, oh, I'll just deduct two points. I'll just deduct one. It's like, he's in jail. Well, I like... Even in my 30s, I still...
Even in a business meeting or something, I'll have to remind myself, okay, Paige, it's not if they like you. It's if you like them, if you like this situation. Because I just feel like— Because if all men go into it at zero, it means all of them, you're going to feel like you want them to like you. I can say my whole dating history throughout my 20s, every single date I went on, I was probably like—
oh, I want them to like me. And I love a first date. I love an interview. I love, like, you know, giving a good first impression. Yeah. And I was even thinking, like, you know, we're one of the most common shows on first dates. Like, I'm making him laugh and I could see his head turning like, oh, she's actually witty. Oh my God, she's really funny for a girl. Oh my God, look how much she eats. She might have rabies. Oh my God.
But then there's a moment where like if he laughs at my joke, I love him. And then if he doesn't laugh, I'm like, I'm obsessed with this man. I need to be better for him. I also think this equates to work and career as well. Elaborate, please. I will. I feel like...
A man, like this is why there's the wage gap. Because when women are getting hired, they are zero. Like what you have to earn. What can you do for our company? Yeah, where when men come in, they assume they have it together and then they have to prove that they don't. And they usually do. Yeah, and then they, that's why men go for more,
Jobs they're unqualified for because they have that mindset of like, let me fuck it up first. Yeah. But assume that I'm going to do it right. Where girls are like, let me actually show you first that I can do it before you let me do it. That's girl math. And that's literally our campaign strategy for the 2024 election. And that's milligrams. And now you measure an ounce. Why did I write Aaron Gordon net worth?
I don't know who Aaron Gordon is. Yeah, do I? But I love knowing what people's net worths are. I do have to say, net worths are not accurate. On the internet, they're not. Oh, Aaron Gordon said he went on a date and found out she Googled his net worth. Are the men mad about that? I think people are saying it's embarrassing, but first of all, she's doing research. If I want to Google your net worth, I can.
Yeah. I know that this happened to me in college when I first started dating. No, I had a crush. I had a crush on this hockey guy. And my friend was all like, don't date the hockey guys. And I was like, I don't be naughty. And he came over to my room.
And I, my laptop was open with Google searches of him. And the first like five were clicked, like a different color. No, I've gotten so deep before. I've read New York Times articles that like guys I've liked, uncles have written. I'm like, oh my God. These guys have press. I found out like his dad was in jail. Like I found out all these things and he literally comes up and he sees it. And like, I laughed it off, but I remember being so embarrassing. But now I'm like,
I should have just been like, "Yeah, I'm doing research." - Here's the thing though. As women, we have to do research before we go out with you because you are our number one killers. We're trying to not get murdered. So I need to know, yeah, how many homes, like do you own a home and where is it? 'Cause are you gonna take me there and lock me in the basement of it? So like we have to Google things. I'll never forget, I had just moved to New York City. I was maybe living here for like one or two years.
I'm standing at a bar. Where was I? I was at Ketch. I'll never forget. I was on the rooftop of Ketch when it was like the place to be. Probably like a Tuesday night, honestly. And I'm standing there and I see this guy from across the bar and I'm like, I'm at 100. I'm like, look at my husband across the bar. He's amazing. He's got to come over to me at some point. He comes over to me. We're chatting. He's like, do you want to go to another bar? Like my car is parked out front. And I'm like, no.
I'm in the elevator. It's me, my girlfriend, him, one of his friends. In my head, I was like, if I'm about to get into a black Range Rover, this is my husband. I was like, I do all these like weird. Where he's probably thinking about like, should I get Chick-fil-A tonight or not? We walk outside. He has a black Range Rover. We get into it. We go to another bar. We're all having fun. Great time. Amazing.
At the end of the night, he gets my number. He's like, let's go to Miami this weekend. I'm like, this is my husband. That's what my husband would do. Yeah. Like, I should be in Miami this weekend. Why am I still here? I get to work that next day. I think it was like a Friday. This was maybe like a Thursday night. I get to work Friday. My girlfriend that I was with...
at the time worked in real estate. And she goes, oh, I'm going to put his name into our real estate database and see if I can see if he owns like his apartment. Like what's it look like? Owns any homes, whatever. She did that. She calls me and she goes, he's married. Oh,
I can see all the homes he owns and I think it's with his wife unless he owns it with like his mom or his sister and they have the same last name. So I Google, I found his wedding registry and I found his wedding website and I found all of these things. He texted me like that day about Miami and I said, what would your wife think if we went to Miami? And then I never heard from him again and I'll never forget it. But
But, like, thank God I Googled because, like, what? No, for sure. Like, I don't – I never – that was, like, before. I probably should have DM'd the wife, but, like, I didn't think of it at the time. I mean, at that point, you're in survival mode and you're, like, just trying to get out of the situation. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I do think also that something to laugh about, like –
The guy who has a multi-million dollar contract that's very public should not get upset that the girl Googled it because it's like... Sounds like someone with a low net worth that got mad. It's like, are you mad what she saw? Yeah, why are you so pressed? I mean, if you could Google how big guys' dicks were, we would have a... Honestly, I'm surprised there isn't a dark web where all the girlies... You know how normally you post a guy and everyone says they're dating him? We don't know millimeters, we don't know inches, and then why? If we knew what centimeters
were, we would have it. You can tell me it's any intro that I want. But we can't figure it out. But I do think that girls are so good intuitively at like
finding things once we've admitted that he's zero. Like, when he's at 100, like, he could literally murder me and I'll be like, he's such a good guy. Yeah. But, like, once you know he's shit, we will find everything. And that's why I cannot believe there's not more women in the FBI. Like, the fact that men even run the CIA makes me nervous about our country. No. I'm like, they can't even find something in the grocery store. It's so crazy. Like, they...
Some of the things that like I found out. You see how long takes like Chris to go to something? It's like, why is he from here? Summer can be so busy and traveling is a lot. There's a lot of barbecues. There's a lot of parties. There's a lot of things planned. And that's why you have to take your health and wellness so very seriously. That's why I love Thorne's nutritional supplements that keep me at my best and ready to enjoy all of it. I've been obsessed with the Sleepy Girl mocktails for months now. I literally can't fall asleep without them.
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Birth control truly is so crazy. And I consult your doctor, not us. Consult your doctor because last time you guys all stopped taking birth control and then got mad at us. No, but I, okay, so I went off of it in April. That's almost, we're almost at a year. I mean, we're January, basically January. Months are made up, but yeah. Time is a construct. In millimeters. Can we do too many callbacks? Can we do too many callbacks? I don't know.
So I go to the dermatologist. I'm telling him like what my issue is. I'm like, look, I went off my birth control in April. My skin just started getting bad this past month. I love how you're trying. You're trying so hard to play the birth control. The birth control is like, hey, I didn't do literally anything. If you want to take it up with my dermatologist and he said, yeah, it takes a while for your body to adjust. And when I first went on birth control, I was like,
My skin got so bad, so I went on spironolactone in tandem, like, with my birth control. Then I stopped my skin pills, and I was just on birth control. But now I need to go back on my medicine because, like, my body's adjusting and my birth control, whatever. My hormones are so fucked up that your body, like, produces natural oil. My body produces a thicker version of that oil, right?
Which is why my skin is getting so messed up. And it's from my hormones regulating. This is extra virgin olive oil coming out of your skin. J-Lo's shaking. J-Lo's so jealous. J-Lo's somewhere shaking. I'm like, could I bottle this oil? No, so I just like produced too much oil. Craig's tears are coming out of your pores. They're very thick. So anyway, guys, I'm going back on my skin pill. But this is the pill that makes me pass out. There isn't a better option that won't make you like...
What about Accutane? That's almost like too much. I don't need that much. Okay. What if you just took like a tiny hit of Accutane? No, I just need to drink more water. It's just about water and I'm not allowed to eat bananas. Can't have too much like potassium on it or whatever. But like in two months, my skin is going to shine like the top of the Chrysler building. Okay. And you don't want to go back on birth control? Never. I'll never go back on birth control ever again in my entire life. Why? It made you depressed? Yeah.
I don't know. Do you think I'm depressed? I feel like I've been asking people that question a lot lately. Like the other day, Craig was like, I had to go. I literally had to go to CVS to get my skin pill. And I'm in the elevator and I just took a big deep breath. Like I was just like, he goes, why are you so stressed? I go, I have to go outside. No, you saying you're going to CVS stressed me the fuck out. He goes to the end of the corner to get your prescription. I go, have you been out there? Do you know what it's like?
It's terrifying. Like, I was having a literal panic attack. I saw this hilarious meme today that was like, I have to call my doctor to get my anxiety pills, but that is the reason that I have anxiety pills because I have to call my doctor. It's the chicken or the egg. Like, it's so... Literally today, Des was like, you have to call Delta to get some kind of, like, certificate...
for points or something. Not me. Because you get to save some money. And I was like, I'd rather not. And he's like, there's $300. And I'm like, what if I have it in me? There have been times where I've been on, like, customer service and I'll be like, crap, crap,
And he'll be like, no, you do it. And I'll fake start crying. And I'll have tears. And he'll be like, ugh. And then he'll take the phone. I can't. But he loves talking. He loves talking. I'm like, tell them all your stories. Okay, my dad used to love customer service calls. I would go downstairs and he would have the music playing. And he's like, this is going to be a long one. And they're making friends with them. And four hours in, I'm like, dad, this was not this complicated. I got a free iPhone. From how?
So listen to this. I ordered an iPhone in the beginning of November. I said it was going to take two weeks to get there. Two weeks comes up, not there. Stuck in like Memphis, Tennessee. Sat in Memphis, Tennessee for like another two weeks. I call Apple and I'm like, my phone was obviously stolen. Like, you got to send me a replacement. By fire ants in Memphis, Tennessee. And they were like...
No, like, you have to wait for it. Like, we have to put in a claim. Like, this has, like, things that have to happen. Like, I have to not call people. And I was like, all right, put your claim in. Another week goes by. I call back again. They're like, we have to put in another claim. I was like, no, this is enough now. I'm so stressed. I don't need a phone at this point. Craig takes the phone. This is Paige DeSorbo's attorney.
You've now stolen $2,000 from her because the phone was like, I paid for it in full. They send a new phone the very next day. I get it. They like overnight to have a new phone. Great. Two weeks later, my original phone comes in the mail and I'm like,
And I don't know what, like, do I give it back? You sell it on the dark market. Like, what do I do? So I think I'm going to give it to my brother for Christmas. And we'll find out then if he actually listens to Giggly Squad or not. Yeah. That's actually reminded me of some life hacks that I saw on TikTok. I'm randomly on this algorithm saying life hacks like they can tell that I'm struggling. Yeah.
And actually, on Burner Phone, we did a whole episode of Life Hacks. Yeah. And people, like, sent us stuff. I'd love to know what Des' favorite Life Hacks are. Des loves a Life Hack. You guys definitely listen to that episode of Burner Phone. But I found some stuff. One is, if you're stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see call failed instead of call ended.
I've heard that before. That's good. Isn't that good? I don't answer it, though. You're like, I've never been on a call. I've never been on one. If you've ever been given a speeding ticket, I wouldn't because I can't drive. But if you have, go to court to dispute it and always ask when the radar gun was last calibrated.
Woman in STEM. Most cops do not calibrate their radar guns. That sounds made up, but anyway. As often as they are supposed to, and the ticket is normally dropped. Works every time for me and people I've known. Wow. I mean, we're not saying you should drive over the speed limit. We're just saying sometimes they get annoying, like two miles over the speed limit. Whatever. It's a school zone. Look up your... They're in class. They're not even out here. Suck it.
No, I hate the school zones. Literally, threw off my whole mojo. I think because it reminds you of school. Academia. Academia and just not being able to read. Look up your building's washer dryer model on eBay and order a key for it. I haven't paid for laundry for years. Okay, well that's theft. This is a thing between life hack and illegal. Sleep soundly knowing you're not paying for on-site laundry. This is like weird and I don't know if...
I personally wouldn't do it, but if the person sitting in front of you on a flight reclines their seat all the way back and leaves you with no room, turn on the air above a full blast and rotate it so it's on the top of their head. This is the thing. When they go back, I go back. I'm always back. When they go high, I go low. Well, this is actually a good debate, and we have the same stance, but it's not the stance of other people. Some people think it's rude to recline your airplane seat.
See, that's wild to me because I'm a sleeper. I've paid for this seat. If they didn't want you to recline, they wouldn't have made it reclining. And I fly maybe six times a week and I've never been annoyed by someone reclining. The only thing that annoys me is when I get woken up
35 minutes before we land because I need to be back up for two inches. Yeah. And they wake me up and then I lose 30 minutes of sleep. Yeah. And they're not even landing yet. They're just doing the descent. I totally understand, you know, you got to put all the stuff away. You have to have your seatbelt on. But what are those two inches affecting? When someone reclines in front of me, I just like, I'm like, oh, we're reclining now. Like I... I do have to say, I get heated. People who...
If you feel something in the back of your chair, which happens, people who turn... Oh, okay.
I've seen it happen so many times. Like turn to the person behind them, like stop doing that. Yeah, I've seen it multiple times where the person will literally turn and the other person is like, what the fuck, dude? I haven't had any airport beef recently. Except, you know, like sometimes there's two windows and it's like, oh, do I have two windows or is that window like for that person? And someone put their arm in and shut one of my like windows and I like saw their hand and I was like,
Do you want the window up or down? I think it should be down. I agree. Because sometimes it's so fucking bright. So bright. Once a guy woke me up to say, can you open your window for the landing? I think he had like anxiety or something. Right.
So you didn't do it. No. I go, just hold my hand. We're going to be okay. I actually was the token girl on the tennis team. This one girl hated flying and we flew all the time. So they sat me next to her to just talk at her to calm her down.
Wait, hang on. It literally was a podcast. You've been used as like a- I'm an emotional support animal. She would, because we, I can make her laugh. So we would, I would say lock eyes with me and I would just say stupid shit and she'd be like mid panic attack and then start like laughing. Wait, I'm surprised that hasn't become a thing more. Emotional support people.
I think it's supposed to be your significant other. Oh. But then you start fighting with them. But like I would want to bring you on planes and not have to pay for the seat. Honestly, so many comedians could probably make so much money being like hire a comic to sit next to you in a stressful situation. Yeah. Also, the worst thing though is I love having the window seat.
I love the window seat. Apparently, when you grow up, you like the aisle because you like to be able to walk out and stuff. But I like the window. But there's always those long flights when I have to pee. Yeah. And I try not to drink too much beforehand. And I'm not drinking a lot of water anyway. So normally, I don't have to pee. But where the person's asleep. And what do you do? What do you think I do? You hold that. I fold like a cheap beach chair. I don't...
I would never wake that person up. You'd pee on the seat before you woke that person up. If you woke, wake that person up, like you should run for president. That means you're assertive. That means you tell the person at the nail salon that you don't like it and let's just do a whole new color. I've never woken someone up on a plane. Because if anyone, like a light tap on my shoulder to wake me up, oh, that'll do it. That'll do it. I mean, I've talked about this before, but Des, he gets startled.
When you wake him up? I wake him up. And it's apparently just a thing in his family. Yeah. Oh, he's one of those, like, huh, huh. No, like, I will literally be like, oh, my God, I have to wake him up. And I try to think of, like, I will so softly, like, touch his leg. He doesn't wake up. I'm just so soft. It's like, no, he always goes, oh! Yeah, it's too much. I feel like that's just, like, men in general. Well, he said it's because he's a hunter. Right. That he's, like, on high alert all the time. And I'm like, you're passed out at 4 p.m. on a Saturday. Yeah.
Well, I'm a sleeper and I, if anyone wakes me up, I'm one eye. People don't talk about the one eye. Is it important? No. I will stay one eye the first 30 minutes when I wake up in the morning. I've been on Zoom calls and I'm one eye. I'm like, yeah, I'm here. Can we do no video today? Okay.
Waking up is actually like, I fight for my life. I fight for my life. There's like shit going on in pop culture. Kendall and Bad Bunny broke up. Kendall and Bad Bunny broke up. Yeah.
I'm not plagued by it. I'm not like... Oh, I've never been plagued by any celebrity relationship. Yeah. Let's start saying that more. We're not plagued by it. We're not plagued by it. What does that never really know what it means? The bubonic plague. I do think they were like cute and fun. They did a great...
campaign together for like Gucci or something. They probably got paid a lot of money. I think we need to normalize people dating to not marry. No, I think anyone you dated before you were 30 literally doesn't count. It doesn't count. No, it doesn't count. You're going to hold me to the standard of someone I dated at 23? I couldn't see. There's actually
Actually, on TikTok, there's been that thing with you saw Halle, that girl Halle. She's she broke up or she got broken up with and she's 23 years old and she's like really heartbroken. And I ran into her at an event and I was like, can I talk to you for a minute? Yeah. And what'd she say? And, you know, you could tell she's like been through it. And she also is putting it out very publicly. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, this is the girl where like it was like her friend did it.
Her friend, like, went on the date with the ex. It was her friend. I think a girl she knew or was hanging out with one night the next day was seen with him. Got it, got it. But they had already broken up, but it was, like, it was hurtful. Yeah, like, the whole thing. The whole thing. So I was, like, first of all, imagine you were publicly talking about the guys you dated at 23. Like, it's such a...
No, like all look at like the TikTok girlies now. And I'm like, I love watching them. Like I like their friendships. Like I like to see what they wear going out. Like I like to see their apartments. Like they're cute. Like whatever.
There's something just, like, so girly about a girl living in New York City at, like, 24 and, like, figuring it out. Like, it's something just very sweet and cute. Yes. But, like, imagine, like, showing your boyfriends when you were, like, 22, 23, 24, and then, like, having to explain, like, what happened and stuff. Well, honestly...
Honestly, that was us being on reality TV. I didn't want who I was dating to be on reality TV for that reason. I was like, I don't want to have to talk about you in 10 years. Yeah, we've broken up with people because we didn't want to put them on TV. Or we had to explain some situation that's not ideal. No.
But I saw her and it is also hard because she put it out publicly. She said a lot of people keep coming up to her about it and she doesn't want to be reminded about it. So now I feel bad. Maybe I was one of those people. Yeah, you were. I was. Maybe. But I looked at her and I just felt like I should speak. Yeah.
You saw the pain that she was going through and you were like, let me talk about myself. Also, I've never not felt that. So I just looked at her and I said, you're 23, right? I said, you have to think of relationships like jobs. Yeah. Every time you get out of one, you literally level up. You get a better salary. And I'm like, you're 23. And I was like, I know that you're heartbroken, but like you are going to be with like such an amazing. You have so many tall, handsome men in your future to be upset about. Like, let's like.
feel it and then I'm so excited for like who you're gonna date later my advice to any 23 year old who just broke up with her boyfriend would be I don't remember I have no idea the guy's name that I dated when I was 23 like I genuinely couldn't tell you anyone's name from the year of 23 in your 20s whenever anything happens you really feel like it's the end of your life and that's the hardest part of the 20s cause you're like everyone's talking about it here's the thing no one is when I was 23 I was I was breaking up with my
long distance college boyfriend and then moved into the Craigslist apartment where I met the guy named Craig and dated him for a year because we lived in the same house and it was like hot. What did I do?
You're drunk. I don't even like, where do I live? So anyway, break up with your boyfriend. That was so us. Go off your birth control, break up with your boyfriend and figure out what a millimeter is. Yes, we love you guys so much. Oh yeah, also someone messaged us and they were like, hey, is the newsletter thing a bit or is it real? Because they can't tell what's a bit and not and that is so fucking valid. Wait, so valid. We hear you. Imagine we just start saying it was a bit.
Sign up for our newsletter. It's a made-up thing. So we actually do have a newsletter, which is so off-brand for us. And it's so much admin. But we have Grace, our Gen Z correspondent and CEO, who handles it. And she puts it together for us. I love that someone thought that we were lying. Doing a bit. Yeah. Imagine. They literally didn't even try to look. They were like, we know this is a made-up thing. So sign up for our newsletter. And we love you guys so much. We'll giggle with you guys next week. Bye. Bye.
