Giggling about screenshots, cults, and falling 55:35

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Sup, gigglers. Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up, my deck the halls with giggles? It's holiday season, y'all. No, we're dressed. I have a bow in my hair. You have a flower on your tits. We're so excited for the holidays. I was saying that

You know, the Christmas PR team is now stressed. They are in full work. They're like crisis PR now. Get the elves in check. Get everyone happy. Did you have a good Thanksgiving? I did have a good Thanksgiving. I fell down my stairs. Also, wait. You have like elegant long prom stairs. Like main character energy stairs. No.

The stairs in my home are the centerpiece of the house. Like, they don't talk to the railing. They have no business being that starey as they are. The stairs are staring. They have no business being as bitchy as they are. Yeah. Like, they spiral. They have, they just. Does your brother ever, like, slide down? No one goes down those stairs except me. Oh, they're just terrified. Okay.

Because those stairs go directly up to my bedroom where the stairs on the other side of the house is what people use, I feel like. Okay, so these are your personal stairs. These are my personal stairs. Who hates you. Literally tried to sabotage me. They were like, you're not walking in those heels. So here's the first thing is I haven't fallen, I feel like, in a while. It's freeing. I'll tell you, that shit is freeing. There's like three seconds where you're like,

If I lose it all today, get my affairs in order. And it's very different falling, like, as an adult. True. Rather than, like, falling as a child. Like, if you fall as a kid, like, that, oh, you popped right back up. If I had a nickel. No one cares if you fell down the stairs as a child. They're like, figure it out, you know? When you fall as an adult, every issue that has been, like, building up just comes out because you're like, I can't fucking do this life. No way.

Did you cry? I didn't. I'm so dramatic. Wait, how did the fall happen? You have to give me a play-by-play. One step. That's like me skiing on the green. Okay, the stairs in my house, I would say there's probably like 15 stairs. I'm literally about to step on the bottom one. Oh, so you got cocky. You thought you were safe.

So I have just socks on and like an oversized t-shirt and I'm walking down the stairs. I just slip, bang my side hip into the stair and then like the rest of my body is like on the ground. So I'm just like there for like maybe half a second and I hear my mom go, oh my God, did you fall? And I'm still sitting there silently. Then like I'm so dramatic. We're getting ready to like go to dinner and I was like, I can't go to dinner. Yeah.

I can't go to dinner. I just fell. My mom was like, maybe you can go to dinner. You're like, I need to process the trauma that my body just went through.

Then I saw a TikTok like earlier in the day that was like, oh, when you disassociate, don't get nervous. It just means your brain like needed a mental like break. And I'm like, but that is concerning. So I'm laying on the ground. I now have Craig, Sierra and my mom standing over me being like, are you OK? I go into a cold sweat. I get dizzy. I think I'm going to vomit. You had a little panic attack. Three inches. Yeah.

Let's stop saying fell. You slipped. I slipped. You slipped? I slipped. I fell. I couldn't get up. Yeah. Life alert immediately. I love how you waited for everyone to start. Everyone had to see where you fell, like the crime scene. You're like, I'm not moving so people see the full effects.

I have a massive bruise, which I'll show you later. I don't want to see it. It was insane. I can't do bruises. It makes me nauseous. The adrenaline was wild. And then what else happened during Thanksgiving that was just like, my mom asked someone if they believed in God and like, why don't they? And so that. That's just a typical Thanksgiving. Was God present for the conversation? God was in the room with us. Yeah.

My mom is so like, so like dainty and like sweet. And then randomly she'll just say something like that's so insane. Out of pocket. And by the way, we had to pry this cranberry, this cranberry cake recipe out of Kim's

And I realized, I think it's because it's like Italian moms don't give away their recipes. My mom said, oh, it was a New York Times recipe. I love the pomme torte. Yeah. And my nana, she loves attention. So she's sharing. She didn't even come to my Thanksgiving because she got sick and then asked us to take photos for her. And within three minutes, those photos were on Instagram. Me and Des, we never post photos together. Her first photo. True content creator.

A true influencer. She goes, can someone send me photos? I need to post it for Thanksgiving. Always working. Always working. Always thinking, where can I get that like and that follow? And that is why she's successful. Yeah. But yeah, Nana got a really bad cold. It's so funny. But she's doing better. Shout out, Nana. She did love the attention. I want to go to Nana's so bad for dinner. Oh, shoot.

She would love that. I would love if you picked a weekend that we, like, planned to drive to Nana's Sunday morning, spend the day with her, and then, like, eat dinner and go home. The coziest experience. And then she likes to watch, like, a movie that's, like, black and white. No, I love it. And then explain to you, like, why that person was, like, the hottest person, the it girl of, like, the 1930s. I love that. People have been talking about the babies thing. Like, babies are being thrown around because my brother has the most, the cutest baby ever. Right.

And I interviewed Julia Fox and I posted it because I was like, Julia, do you think I should have a baby? Because if you're going to ask someone. You're going to ask Julia Fox. You should ask Julia Fox that question. And she literally goes, wait. But it's weird with women because you can't wait too long. And then she's like, wait, if you have stuff to do in your career. I'm like, but Julia, you have your career is going so well and you have a kid. And she's like, right. Yeah, but I can't enjoy it because I'm too tired. Right.

And that makes a lot of sense, though. And then I'm thinking about like we're exhausted now. I know. I don't have a child. I mean, I have a daughter. I was holding Polo like a baby the other day because I was feeding him pumpkin pie off my finger and I got a little on his fur. So I was wiping his fur off of pumpkin pie and I was like, I could be a mother. And my mom was like, I don't think so. You just fed the dog pumpkin pie from your finger. It doesn't make a mother. And I was like, yeah.

Literally a single mom. I actually remember one Thanksgiving, I had a bad fall too. Oh my God. Not to make it about me, but like one of those, I was riding my bike and I get cocky. Your first mistake. I get cocky. Yeah. Like, you know, you're like, you go a little fast and you're like, I'm Tony Hawk.

And then it was right in front of the house. You can either go right or left. And I just, I think I had a brain fart and I couldn't decide. You just went straight. So I just, I literally flipped over the handlebars and I just like, nothing broke or anything, but I skidded across like the gravel. Yeah. And I just laid there and waited for people to see me. Yeah. Because you're in shock.

Yeah, you're like, did it happen? Like, I need someone to see this to make it real. And I remember, like, my whole family came outside, and I'm just lying in the street. Just performance art. And then they brought me back, and they were, like, taking, like, pebbles out of my body, and they called me the English patient. Do you know? It's like a movie about...

- English patient. - Move out someone who got like hurt really bad and they couldn't move out of a coma for, I don't know. - Oh my God. - I literally don't know. So I was being so dramatic. And then in Brooklyn we had this house where the stairs just like, you know some old stairs are made for like, I think people were littler back then. - Yeah. - Like the foot, no foot was gonna fit. - Right. - I don't know who. - I think that people were smaller. - I think people were tiny. - Yeah. - Like tiny, adorable, put them in my pocket. - Yeah.

Or they just, like, couldn't do math. I wonder why that is. I think it's, like, the bigger people survive. The people who can reach the cabinets will survive. Charles Darwin really did it with this one. Zaddy Darwin. He was like, you know the girlies need six, three men. So these stairs, like, every time you stepped, you're like, if I'm not so 110% focused, I'm going to eat shit. So it just came normal in my house to just hear, like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da, like, every 20 minutes. No, that's too scary. I think it makes you stronger.

I was then I was trying to think like, oh, my God, when's the last time I legitimately fell and like ate shit like that? And I remember two years ago I was getting out of an Uber and I was hit by a motorized scooter. Wait, that's intense. It was so intense, like in the moment. But you can't hear them. You have no idea what's happening. I'm getting out of the Uber. I have a tequila bottle in one hand and I have my cell phone in the other. Obviously on my way to a pregame. Mm hmm.

And I just like turn and this guy just fucking swipes me. I mean, I go flying in the air. I land on the ground and the same thing. I just like sat there. I was like, I just got pulverized.

As a woman, I feel like this is where I hate the patriarchy because as a woman, inherently, I was like, oh my God, that was my fault. I'm so sorry to this man that just drove over my alive body and I'm apologizing to him and he just speeds right away. Well, bikes were invented by the patriarchy.

And then like this mom came over and was like, are you OK? Like, did you hit your head? Like, that's a loaded question. And I was like, why do you puke in your purse at 7 p.m.? Nothing happened to the tequila bottle. I remember the time I held it up in the air. Remember the time I was single. I had like seven boyfriends and I called all of them was like I was just hitting the street. Not one cared.

So no, when I got hit by a car in college, the first thing I did was call my coach, tell him I'm going to be late for practice. Like that's the first thing I thought of. Not like, oh, am I going to be OK? Yeah. Women, we have to change how we think. Yeah. Like me apologizing to that man. You almost killed me. Did you have a like Thanksgiving Eve moment in your town? Of course.

Of course it's my Super Bowl. Did you do it? Can I tell you what I did on Instagram, like Monday night and Tuesday night? I was helping all the girlies get their Thanksgiving Eve outfits. Okay. Because I know what that night is like. Because you're like rebranding. Like, I don't care who you were three days before Thanksgiving Eve, you can walk in that bar being whoever you want. Yeah. Going into your hometown bar is just...

I mean, it's your Regina George moment. I lived for it. So you what? Not this year. Not this year. I'm 31, Hannah. That would have been embarrassing for me. I don't know the rule. Because I didn't have a hometown.

I was just a city slicker. Oh, yeah. I guess in the city you guys don't have that, like... So... Well, but you grew up in Brooklyn. I feel like that's very neighborhood vibes. It's very... I mean, if we were to go to the neighborhood bar, it's like us going to Prospect Park where everyone smoked weed. Right. But I also... I went to Beacon on the Upper West Side. So I get a text... This year? This year. Okay. And this has never happened before. From two of my friends. I actually had, like, a decent friend group, even though I was only there for, like, a year and a half.

Because I was coming from Florida. It's a whole thing. And they were like, hey, do you want to come to Beacon High School reunion tonight? And I was like, I'm in West Hampton, but you should have told me earlier. I'm like, what are you guys doing? And they're like, we're meeting at a bar on the Upper West Side. Wait, what year did you graduate high school? 2009? 2009. So they're like, we're going to a bar on the Upper West Side. I'm like, that would have been too far for me anyway. Yeah.

Wait, I'm like kind of sad you missed it. No, well then they were like sending me pictures and I don't even know like who's married, who's not, who's a DJ. Like I don't know. I feel like everyone I went to high school with is married and has kids. So I feel like we wouldn't even like get together Thanksgiving Eve. But I, have you been to any high school reunions? I went to one like once.

Before I was on TV. Okay. And I will randomly get like messages from people from Beacon and be like, what's up? Yeah. I'll more get stuff from tennis girls because the tennis girls we played together from like

my whole like yeah age 12 to age 18 so they'll be like yo what are you what are you doing on this facebook reel and i'm like oh hey girl i we had one i remember we had like a five and i was like i'm not going to it i'm not where i want to be in my life yet i'm not ready to flex and then i like missed our 10 yeah and then i forgot and then i don't even know if we've like had

Our 10 was like during COVID. Yeah. Well, that's unfortunate. But I know that people like go hard on that and I've never really experienced it. So I almost did it, but I didn't. I have a gripe. I love a gripe. I know we're like loving. Look, we love Gen Z and anything they tell us to use, like we're going to use it. We're going to try it. But I'm... Be careful with your words. Okay.

In theory, we love a lip oil. I'll put a lip oil on all day long. I think they're so cute. I love the rebrand that Chapstick has gotten, and it's lip oil. But when your lips are actually chapped... You need Aquaphor. You need a legitimate Chapstick. Are they out here saying lip oil should be replacing Chapstick? I just feel like every time I go in my bag where I would usually get a Chapstick has now been...

There's a lip oil in there. And I did that to myself. I love how you're blaming Gen Z for what's in your bag right now. They made me buy it. So I have 27 lip oils. Are you talking about the Benetint thing? The Benetint? What's that? I think it's a lip oil. I do have to say, not all lip oils are created equal. Some lip oils, you put it on and you're like, I just put olive oil. That's it.

that's like slightly pink on my lip. And it goes away. You have joy for 15 seconds. For sure. And it's like gum. I'm all about 10 seconds of euphoria throughout my day. For sure. I'll do those like dopamine hits. So I'll throw on a lip oil that doesn't work and I'll love it and I'll rebuy it. But when I'm in crisis mode where I'm in tropical Albany for five days and my lips are crusting off my face.

Take your lip oil, shove it up your ass. I need heavy duty aquaphor. I do think lip oil has not hit where it needs to hit. I think a lip oil you can put on over a pencil with lipstick, then some lip oil. I have a question for you.

When people put on Aquaphor, you can't just put a pencil over it. It just doesn't work. Right. So like you have to like pre-prep your lips so by the time you're going to paint on it, it's ready. People don't talk about that enough. No one talks about the pre-prep of lips. Or if you're getting your makeup done, they put the lip, the Aquaphor first. Yeah. And then they do everything else. And then they take it off. And then they're ready. And then they put it on.

It is so hard to be a woman. No, because do you ever like put lipstick on and then all of a sudden you can feel the pieces of your skin on your lips coming off and then you have to bite it off with your teeth? Oh yeah, I'll pull it off in front of people. Yeah. And I'll throw it at them. Yeah. People don't talk about that enough. That'll ruin your whole day if you know that like skin is falling off your lip while people are talking to you. I just like eat it. I was, you know, bullied online. Yeah.

I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but there was a time online where it was very much Hannah doesn't shower. The fact that we're both in blazers, this feels very NPR right now. We're like, we're not aware. We don't know if you were aware, but Hannah was bullied online.

There's a number to call. There are things that I probably deserved, but there were some things I don't. They say that my lips always look chapped. Yeah. And they say that I don't shower. Which is so funny to me because we've gotten in fights about your over excessive showering. So Paige, let's have an honest moment here on the pod. I'm like very open sore right now. I can take it. Okay. Why do you think people think I look like I haven't showered and my lips are always chapped? Because you don't brush your hair.

A win is a win. And it's not even that you don't brush your hair. No, you don't. I don't. It's that your hair is always down and you don't brush it because it's usually coming out of like some type of curl that you've had it in the day before. Not even.

I just, I woke up like this bitch. But your hair dries like that too, which I think people don't understand. This is how it dries. Like it dries wavy. And you know, my mom every day will say, did you brush your hair? Yeah. And I said, mom, I'm 32. Don't worry about me. But no, I didn't. But I do think it's like, when did we, like, do you think men, if they had long hair would have to brush it all the time? Brushing your hair is exhausting. Yeah.

No, I think we just get, like, blamed for things that, like. But it is true. Like, if you don't have your hair brushed, like, I think people think you don't have your shit together. Yeah. Which is true. I also feel like that sometimes when I wear my hair, like, up. Yeah. Also, when I brush my hair too much, it does kind of get frizzy. So I like the look. Look, I'll brush my hair more. I'll brush my hair. I'll brush it. Who cares? Do whatever you want. I do want you to start wearing your hair more ponytails, though.

I will. Yeah. I like it. Holiday shopping is right around the corner and sometimes it's so hard to buy for certain people and for

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So you're just filling up your memory. The amount of things that I go, this is super important. I'm going to screenshot it. Like what mental illness am I suffering from that I continually keep screenshotting things that I know I will never see again, but I feel good. Are you screenshotting? What are you screenshotting? You know what? I'll show you my screenshots. Okay. I screenshot a Mary Fuck Hill that I want to do with you on the pod. Okay. I screenshot a vintage store that I want to go to in France one day. Okay. Screenshot it.

Romeo and Michelle's high school reunion because I've never watched it and I want to watch it once. I screenshotted this girl's outfit but a photographer was walking in front so I missed the outfit. I screenshotted a coffee shop I want to go to in Lower East Side.

I screenshotted this outfit that I'm probably not going to buy ever. But that's a very you outfit. That was very cute. I screenshotted a four-ingredient banana bark that I'm never going to make. I screenshotted energy takers versus energy givers because my mom sent it to me, and I think that was important.

Then I screenshotted a podcast episode that I'll never listen to. A girl's red-colored hair that I'm not going to know. I screenshotted a tweet that says, what if birds don't even need to spit food into each other's mouths? They just like it. My screenshot's a wild place.

Wait, I feel like that is your aesthetic. Like if everyone just went to their screenshot because you don't... That's what the inside of my mind is. Yeah, like that is really what your true aesthetic is. Oh, also, you know, every now and then we have a good back and forth text conversation that I like to blast to the public. Yeah. What was going on with this cottage cheese combination? Okay, let's talk about the cottage cheese combination because people were...

upset. Screaming at me. Oh my god, I never want to cause hate for you online. But I think you deserve it. Well, first of all, everyone thought they were baked beans on Thanksgiving Day, so I didn't have the time to be like, it's not baked beans. Okay, it's called corn relish. And it's like, it almost has the consistency of like a pepper jelly. Have you ever had like pepper jelly? Like an aioli. I know exactly what you're talking about.

I'm a Michelin star chef. I know what that is. You put jelly and you put some pepper on it. I know what pepper jelly is. Wait, but my questions are... Okay, a cracker. You do a cracker and cottage cheese and then corn relish and it's so good. Well, cottage cheese all day. You didn't put context to this. You didn't show the cracker. I know, I just sent it. You just sent it. I got excited. I said, oh, I'm going to show this. She loves putting random shit with cottage cheese.

Okay, well, I appreciate that. Don't ever do it again. Wait. Okay, like, I texted you on Thanksgiving. Hey, like, you should try this with cottage cheese. You immediately shut me down, made fun of me, then said something mean. And I said, like, LOL back. Real friends don't acknowledge a holiday. If you said happy birthday, I mean, Thanksgiving. I'd be like, are we fighting? Like, I'd be like, are we distant? I'm like, did you steal money from me?

Are you about to drop some horrible news on me?

Like, real friends. The Thanksgiving text, though, look. No, let's talk about it. Okay, this is horrible, but if you're out here sending, like, any Thanksgiving text, because obviously you're first to your friends, you're not sending it to. If you're sending it to your second to your friends, what do you want from them? What's the end goal? What's the end goal? Third of all, you're an ex who's just getting an excuse to text. Yeah. Which is, like, I respond happy turkey day, because I'm not even going to say Thanksgiving. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not like other girls, you know? You're corny.

When I get the Thanksgiving text, my first initial reaction is like, oh, fuck off. But then my second one is, wow, that's so nice. But then are they just mass texting it to a lot of people? And they just like want attention? Like are they copy and pasting? Yeah. Like are they just like networking? Who has the time? Like they went to a networking meeting and they were like, every holiday, send it to people you want to stay in touch with. My favorite thing about holidays is that you have no legal obligation to speak to anyone. True. Like I'm not texting back.

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Carry I have to be fun and people will look to me to like what's the next fun? You need the entertainment of the day because I take it personally if people are not having like a fun time Yeah, especially because my family like kind of hosts it but it is exhausting to be like the personality the personality hire No, it's hard to be the Kim Kardashian of your family. It is. I mean if anyone gets it you do I totally understand it um

Not only am I the Kim Kardashian of my family, but I also ruin Thanksgiving because... I used to ruin Thanksgiving because I would come hungover and, like, throw up and yell at everyone because I was tired. This year, we play Family Feud every year. See, I would never see that for your family. Every single year. My dad is Steve Harvey. He does a great job. Boys versus girls, no matter what. Does he put on a mustache? No, he uses his own. So, we play Family Feud, and...

It's known that my dad will help me cheat. That's cute. That's fun. I don't know. Everyone kind of has a problem with it, and I'm like... It's a bit.

It's a bit. It seems like a you problem. I don't know what to tell you. It's my dad. And I'm his favorite person here. If your dad doesn't help you cheat, that's like. Get a DNA test. Is that your dad? Is that your dad? I'm adopted. So like he'll read the question and we'll be doing the answers. And I'll always be deciding between two things. And I'll be like, oh, is it pineapple or is it blueberry? And then I'll look at my dad and he'll like give me a look. And I'll be like, it's pineapple. And so then I'll say and then we'll win the point.

well, Craig doesn't like this. Craig doesn't like that I, my dad helps me cheat. And so- This is a much deeper issue going on. There's layers to this. No, it was straight up as if I threw the Monopoly board, threw the table over and was like, fuck you guys. I'm out of this family. I'll never play a game with you ever again. So Craig and my brother were cheating because you're not supposed to talk to each other when you're doing the individual answers. No, no.

And so they're cheating, like, the first three rounds of the game. And so then it gets to, like, the seventh round, and the girls are losing, and we never lose. We win every single year. Because girls are detail-oriented. And so I'm like, I'm done playing. You ruined the whole game for everyone. You ruined Thanksgiving. You've been cheating since the beginning. And I literally almost start crying. And then I realized I embarrassed myself, and, like, I ruined Thanksgiving, and we stopped playing. And you had been cheating the whole time, too. Well, correct. But that's true.

That's part of the game. I'm a girl. Yes. Do you know what gives me the ick? Men cheating. I was like, but you're not smart enough to know the answer.

He was like, you don't know any answers. I was like, I'm a girl. Men have been going to college for literally like centuries. We just started going to college. Like my mom was the first in my generation to go to college. We're allowed to cheat when it comes to academics. I've cheated on every single test I've ever taken in school. And I will never apologize because life is about learning to delegate. You ever get mad when the person you're cheating off of just like didn't study hard enough? And you're like, get it together. It's your job. This is your job.

I feel like the devil wears Prada when I would be in school cheating. I'm like, Andrea, this was your job to do the math. Also, I do have to say, we don't talk enough about the girlies who have such a good relationship with their dad that finding the man makes, like, you question it. And I think when people ask you about marriage, you've done the whole, like, if I was a man, they wouldn't ask me this. I think the next thing now, because we need new things to riff on. Right. In interviews, you should just be like, when your dad is so spectacular, like,

You just have no... You just want the perfect, perfect guy. So I'm just making sure that I'm making 100% the right decision on this. Wait, that's so true. Because I think that's actually how you feel. It is. I feel like... Because I feel like husbands, like, replace your dad. And my mom, like, yelled at me. She was like, they don't. Your husband's not supposed to be your dad. You already have a dad. My dad literally said, she's your problem now. Laughed and walked away. Because there are just certain things that, like...

I think like in my life, I think, oh, well, I'll just call my dad because he'll know or he'll already be able to fix it or like he'll just do it and it won't stress him out because like he has to. I'm his daughter. Yes. And then I get nervous. Like, can I put all of that burden on a husband? Yes. But you're going to also have to take no burden for him as well. Yeah.

Hire an assistant. Every now and then I will ask Des to do something for no reason. Like, I forgot something in the house and I was like, can you get it? Yeah. Like, just testing his love. Yeah. And sometimes he does and sometimes he's like, why don't you get it? Yeah. And I go, valid. Like, I like when you stand up for yourself. Right. But never do it again. So cute. No, Craig is very good at that where I'm like, Stanley needs to be filled up. I'm dying first. But if a guy does it too much, he's cheating. Yeah.

Yeah. Whenever you hear a story about a guy, she's like, he would leave me post-it notes saying all these lovely things. So it's hard out here. You have to have a thin line. Because then you stop respecting him at a certain point. If your boyfriend writes you a love letter, go through his phone. And I truly believe that. I truly believe that. First of all, where did he learn to write? Someone cooked here. Left you a poem before he left for work.

He went to go meet his work wife. He's going to fuck his secretary. Okay. Wait, speaking of relationships, I saw this Fuck, Marry, Kill from Valesa. They're like this really good sex toy company. But they post these funny tweets. Fuck, Marry, Kill. Sees a therapist. Six-figure salary. Top-tier dick.

Oh my God. That's a good one. Okay, wait. What was the first one? Sees a therapist. This is hard. Is he seeing a therapist because of like court mandated therapy? Like did he get like the anger management guy on Giggly Squad live show? Did we tell the Gigglers that? Guys, okay. Oh my God. This was probably the best guy we brought up. I forget what his name was. But we did New York City Giggly Squad show and one of the questions that we asked the guys is like have they been to therapy? And so this guy answered me.

And he goes... Well, I look at him and I go, I already know the answer to this question. Have you been to therapy? No. And he goes, I have. And I'm... We're... Thrown. Yeah. Because I'm good at this. Like, I can tell if a guy's been to therapy. And we're excited. We're excited for him. We're happy. I go, I love being proven wrong. Yeah. By a man. He goes, no. Or he goes, wait, what did he say? He goes, yes. Yes. But it was court ordered. And it was actually anger management. And he was like, and I went once. Yeah.

I don't think I've ever met someone who legit has gone to anger management. I mean, I know people that should and like it should be a legal obligation, but I don't think I've ever met someone who's legit gone. I think the second, the first time your man gets mad, go, I think you should go to anger management. Literally. And Eve, I don't care how much you annoyed him or pushed him to that point, you go, you need anger management. I feel like, and I recognize this in myself and it's a horrible trait, but I'll never stop. I'm really good at gaslighting people and I...

Men. Yeah. And one of my favorite things to do is when a guy gets angry is point out that he's angry. Yeah. Because I feel like that gets them. I'm like, yeah, that made you really mad. Yeah. And like that just. Oh, you're so naughty. I do think also I'm learning as I get older. If people ever get mad at you, I've been reading these things about like if they yell at you, you either just.

Keep looking at them. Yeah. Like, don't respond at all. Or if they say something really mean, say what? And make them repeat it. Because then it sounds so stupid. If they're like, you stupid bitch. And you go, wait, sorry, what'd you say? You stupid bitch.

Like, it just makes, and then you can literally be like, I can't hear you. Like, I can't hear you. There's like, the air conditioner is really loud right now. Wait, pretending that you can't hear? That's a great trick. Well, I heard something like, if you're ever getting bullied, and this could be like, maybe there's some like, mean girls that you're dealing with. Yeah. And they say something kind of like, passive aggressive, like, oh, you would do that. Yeah. Just go, sorry, what'd you say? I like, I actually couldn't hear you. Oh.

And then she'll be like, oh, you would do that? And you're like, okay. Yeah, no, I didn't. So much of life is about not responding or making them keep talking. And if I've learned anything from being on reality TV. Let people speak, talk. Let people talk and do not react. Because they're just trying to get you to react. Look at us. Oh, wait, we never even. Okay, fuck Mary Kiel. She's a therapist. No, we literally forgot. She's a therapist. Okay. I'll say right now, kill six-figure salary. Okay.

You need seven figures. I'd rather, this is the thing. I don't go for money. I just want a guy who's passionate about something and like good at it. But the money comes when you're passionate and good at something. Yeah. I don't want a guy that just has a six figure salary, but like he hates his job, hates his life. All he talks about is how he hates going to work every day. I'm like, okay, we'll figure it out. There is such a difference between dating a guy who is poor, but has ambition and dating a guy who's just poor.

And I've dated both. True, true. I've dated both as well. Both in equally fun time. Yeah. Well, then it comes top tier dick. Some say if the dick is too good, you can't trust him. Like, how did he get that good? What kind of power has he had with that good of a dick? And then I also feel like that...

Does something to your chemicals in your brain. He's been treated like a god by people. You're making irrational decisions. You start getting treated like a celebrity because your dick is so good and people talk about it. And then you start thinking you're something that you're not. I think I'm marrying. I think we're killing them all. Extinct. Slaughter. Slaughterhouse. I think I'm marrying the therapy, going to therapy. I'm fucking the literal sex one.

And then I'm killing six figures because make more, do better. Challenge yourself. I love that for you. Thank you. What is yours? I feel like yours is the same. Yeah, I feel like mine's the same. Honestly, top tier dick scares me. Like it's giving like sex addicts. Guys who are like too good at sex kind of gives me an ick. I'm like, what is this performance? No.

No. Lay down, act like you're tired. No. Make me make you want to do this. Like, I don't want you to be like, welcome to the show. Right. If you're like, oh my God, your mind's going to be blown, like, gross. If you find the clit too fast, one, someone cooked here. Yeah. Two, it took me 18 years to find my own clit. Yeah. What have you been doing in your downtime? Like, it's like when a guy, when you were younger, when he like, does the bra too fast and you're like, okay, you have chlamydia. Yeah.

Like, you just know. Two fingers. And you're like, hmm. Like, at least pretend you're. But then if he takes too long, then you start getting sad. You're like, oh, man. Because you're like, if you can't even unbutton this, you're not going to. You're like, we'll be great friends. We'll go shopping together. Yeah.

I want the guy to be like a little insecure in bed. Like a little nervous. A little? I want him to be so insecure. Are you kidding? That's my dream. But you also like guys who choke. So you want to be like crying while choking you? Well, I'm a Scorpio. I changed my mind. You know me. I'm a black cat. I'm like, give me attention. It'll get away. No, I want them to be insecure to the point where they're

mind is blown that they've even gotten me in this situation that they're like, this is the bad, I can't believe this is even happening. I'm going to tell my grandkids about it. But then I want them to muster up assertiveness. Yes. In that moment. Like in that moment, they were like, knees are sweaty, arms are sweet, spaghetti on a sweater, I'm ready, this is my moment. I love,

I like them singing Eminem. Yes. And then he takes the mic and he fucking, he comes with nowhere. And then he's like, that was the greatest performance I've ever had. But I didn't know it was in me and you brought it out of me. And then I want him to be obsessed with me. And then, see ya. But I also think that you want, yeah, you don't want to be too good. And you don't want him to like, just seem like it wasn't a special moment. Right. Right. Right.

I was going to say something else and I blacked out. You disassociated. Your brain needed a break for a second and that's okay. And what we've learned here today, sometimes your brain needs a second and that's okay. Oh my God. Be sweet to your brain. Okay. There's like a lot of stuff happening in pop culture. Yeah. And I've been watching a lot of stuff. Let's first start off because we weren't going to talk about it. Yeah. But I think we should. Silvana and Dave Portnoy. Breaking up. Broke up.

We found out because she posted a TikTok. And I, okay, so she posted a TikTok and I go to the comments to see like what people are saying because the comments are, the video is like a little cryptic. Not cryptic, but it's like her crying, showing these like cards. Like imagine you bought these for your soulmate. And I first thought she was telling a story of like a friend.

I thought her dog died. I don't know why. So much worse. No, yeah. I don't know why my initial thought was like, oh my God. That her dog could read. She got letters for her dog. But I look at Polo, I'm like, step it up. Part of me was also like, if I got those gifts for my husband, my husband would be like, are you cheating on me? It was like, you're amazing. Whatever. She got him really cute. I just wasn't expecting it. So I go to the comments and the first comment I see is you.

And that's my favorite pastime is to see your friends out in the wild commenting on shit because it just makes it so much better. Okay, so I think it came up pretty early on my, like when it happened because I texted you about it because I need you to know when things happen when I do. We have to be on the same page with stuff.

So I commented not think just like a side comment to try to make her feel better. I didn't think I started getting notifications like people are commenting on this comment. And I think my comment like low key kind of went viral. No, it literally did. It literally did. So my comment got almost 15,000 likes. And it said, I know this is not helpful at all, but you are such a pretty crier like pop off. I laughed at myself.

- But also, she was a gorgeous crier. - So I just wanted her to be like, in this moment you might be feeling so dark, but other girls are looking and being like, Kim Kardashian, love you Kim, is like, if Kim could cry that pretty, it wouldn't be fair for the rest of us. But Sylvana looked gorgeous.

And you know what? I think she probably learned a lot from that relationship with him. And some people did comment because he's very good at, like, getting involved in other people's personal shit. I would love to get... I mean, I want Sylvain to be protected at all costs. Yeah. But, like, if people kind of...

You know, got some good tea on the pod. People were saying there was like articles that like, oh, maybe he cheated on her. And then I guess he was in the same city at the same coffee shop on the same day, but like different times than Raquel from Vanderpump. Yeah. So they're like, oh, my God. Like and somehow she's no fucking way. Absolutely not. But then Dave did a statement being like, I mean, it was like a crazy statement.

In my opinion. Written out? Seema? I think so. And he said, like, I would never... I'm so offended or, like, I would never even be... I'm so offended that I'm even associated with that trash bag. And, like, just, like, dragged the fuck out of Raquel. And, like...

Look, I get it, like, that whole situation, but also, like... Poor Raquel's trying to recover. I mean, she didn't even do anything in this situation. She's just starting to, like, wake up in the morning and feel a little better. Like, okay. And I just felt so bad because I was like, oh, my God, okay, is this, like, what this girl's going to get now for the rest of her life? Like, anytime someone brings her up, like, grown men who are in their late 30s are even, like, picking on her. Like, I don't know. It was just, like, a lot. Mm-hmm.

And he said, obviously, like, that's not true. But then I was seeing, like, other things saying Sylvana, like, wants to get married and have a family, like, within reason in whatever age. I don't know how old she is, but, like, within reason in the next five or ten years. And I think that's – he didn't want to. He didn't want to. Well, you know what? Then good. Yeah. Because you don't want to be stuck in the wrong thing. Right. And she's young and hot and, like – Yeah. No, like, I – this – I feel awful for her.

I'm not worried about her for a second. I'm not worried about her for a second. So, Vonna, like I said in my comment that went viral, pop off. Yeah. Like, pop that pussy. I want to see her with, like, imagine she just, like, started dating Tom Brady. No.

That's revenge on another level. Wait, I think she can. And I think she's like Colombian and I feel like they like revenge just as much as an Italian. I could see that. Yeah. I love that so much. If she wants to strategize, she can call us. I mean, women in general. I also, there is this new thing about when girls get broken up with, they just, they like, they're showing the process on TikTok. I would never. And this is my pride and my ego speaking. Mm-hmm.

I will immediately start posting me like skipping down the street because I'm so fucking happy. Yeah. But I do have to say as a woman, we are so powerful after getting broken up with. Like men don't do the same thing. Girls will immediately start taking F45 classes. No. It's like we all got an e-book when we were 12 and it's like this is what you do after you get broken up with. No, they get like new fashion, new hair, new like –

mentality like in therapy that you always level up after a breakup I consider breakups like jobs like yes if you lose a job or you leave a job you always get a higher base salary the next one every boyfriend I've ever had like has always been better than the last yes so guys if you want a better boyfriend break up yeah because that's just how the world works that's just called grow and that's just like HR tells you that you know like that's just

basic getting your first office job. It is funny. Like, you know, if you meet a guy at a time in your life where you're a different person and then you grow, but he still treats you like that person he first met you as. Yes. And then you leave and then you see guys see you as the person you've become. Ooh, I just got chills because that's powerful. It's so funny because like in my early 20s when I would date like older guys, even like my mid 20s,

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27 you're gonna be so hot or like when you're 30 and you're like a real woman and like successful like you'll be like more attractive and it's just like so putting you down in the moment that's interesting I will say that to men like I'll meet a 28 year old guy who's like complaining about being single and I'll look at him and be like

I mean this so nicely. You're cooking. You're still cooking. When you are 36, you will be prime time. You need to work on yourself during that time because I would not let any of my friends near you at this moment. Oh, God, no. They can't afford the therapy. You clearly can't afford the therapy. Paracelsus and baby name?

Did you see that Paris Hilton's having a girl? And she's naming it London. Cute. I think it's so freaking cute. Like, I like the name London in general, but the fact that her name is Paris and the daughter's name is London. What's the other kid's name? Like, do we have a consistent theme going? No, I don't think we have a consistent theme going. Okay. I don't remember what the son's name is. Do you think she conceived him and her in London? No.

No, but I have a feeling she's probably had this name on her baby name list since she was literally like 12. It is funny because some places, if you can see if it's like the cutest name, like Aspen or like Nevada, like those are cute names. But yeah. What if it's like Cincinnati? What if it's Boise? Boise! You have soccer practice at seven. Ronkonkoma. That's the funniest place in Long Island. Oklahoma City.

North Dakota. Dakota's pretty. Dakota's pretty. Yeah. I mean, Kim naming her kid Chicago is like, that's teetering. We love you, Kim. But only the Kardashians could do that. The Kardashians can do it. Yeah. Like if I popped out like a baby and I was like, it's Chicago. Yeah. You'd be like...

It's a lot of syllables. Yeah. And it's a lot of like, shy is cute. Is anything else happening in front page news? Okay, so we talked about the breakup. I love Paris Hilton's baby name. I think that was all I saw like this week that I was like, oh, I want to talk to Hannah about that. Why? Did you have any front page news that was? No, but I have a lot of stuff I've been watching. Okay. Because it's been a week. Yeah. And I've been doing my research for the girlies. Yeah.

I haven't watched it, but House of Kardashian people are talking about. I mean, how many documentaries about the Kardashians come out? What is this on? It's...

I don't know. House of Kardashians is on somewhere, but people are talking about it. Okay. And I guess it's like a different angle on stuff. So if you're obsessed with Kardashians, check that out. I think I will eventually. Kris Kardashian's writing a biography. They were like teasing it, promoing it in the last episode. And I do feel like it probably is good. I want to learn. Like, you know, Joe Rogan talks about like, oh, like, take this for my mental state. And it makes my brain. I want to know what the Kardashians are on. Is it Adderall? Yeah.

Is it all organic? Like, what, how do they get the energy? There's a whole nother level of wellness for, like, A-list celebrities that, like, we just would never have access to. Yeah. Like, the amount of people that I've heard that do, like, stem cells, like, there's no way Taylor Swift is getting done with a concert and washing her makeup off.

with her fucking Cetaphil and getting a good six hours before she wakes up the next morning to do another concert. No fucking way you would die. I want to know the like athletic situation that's going on between like Beyonce and Taylor Swift after their show. Are they going in like how many ice baths are they doing? They have like a chamber of like stem cell whatever. I know for a fact they're doing like stem cell regeneration like shit. You can do it in like 45 minutes and like sit there. Are there children's blood involved?

Yeah, and their skin probably. Yeah, allegedly. Okay, then there's the Twin Flames documentary that just came out on Netflix. I watched it on Amazon Prime. I haven't gotten myself to like watch it. I will watch eventually, but it's like the same shit, but it's very interesting. Okay. I have a cult documentary. You know, every couple months a doc comes out and I'm like, you guys have to fucking watch this. It's called Love Has Won.

And there's... They have to call the leader mother. She was a manager at a McDonald's. And she said, you know what? There's more to life. And she goes on this weird, like, online thing, meets some old man with, like, no teeth, and just, like, leaves her family. Like, goes to dinner and then just never comes back. And starts living with him in the middle of, like, Colorado. And they just, like, do a lot of research, whatever. Long story short... What do they do research on? Like, just, like...

the world in like different dimensions like that kind of shit so they did a lot of shrooms yeah so okay so this is the best part there's everyone's high yeah and she's the only one that's allowed to eat and she eats like chicken parmesan like quesadillas like and no one else is eating and she's also it sounds like you started this cult you're like here's my cult you bring me all your chicken parm eat it and you watch me and I will make sure that you will go to heaven

That's just your Uber Eats. Kim goes, Hannah, do you believe in God? I go, do you believe in me eating chicken parm? Okay, so it gets crazier. So she apparently explains that she's been a lot of people throughout her lifetime. She was Marilyn Monroe. And Robin Williams is her like angel. And she'll be like, Robin Williams is very mad at you right now.

And you want to know what? That is the last thing I want. She goes, Robin is not happy. Robin is watching over you. So like she's nice, but then out of nowhere she'll be like, Robin Williams is upset. Now this is Doubtfire. What in the? So then she's getting like hammered every night and it's become like this cult. Like there's a lot of people living with her and she gets hammered every night and they're like, you know, she deals with everyone's energy all day. So she's exhausted. So she like drinks at night.

The alcohol? Okay. She's an alcoholic. Yeah. And then she's like doing all these drugs and she always has a father. So it's basically like her boyfriend, but she'll be like, you are father. And the guy gets all excited. If I had a nickel. If I had a fucking nickel. I mean, you're my husband. She literally will pick a guy and be like, you're father. And he's all like flattered because she's basically like, you're in charge like with me. Okay. And she's like fucking him.

So then she starts like, her whole thing is, she starts getting sick. And basically she has liver disease because she's been drinking herself to death. Wow. And they were like, we don't understand what's happening to her. And this is crazy. And this is like the devil coming to get her because she's trying to change. It is so fucking good. What is the point of the cult? What are they trying to accomplish? They are, that is my question with every cult. Yeah.

So she's just like, live with me and let's party? Basically, she's like, you're all forced to do all these things from society, but we are living in another dimension. We are going to ascend. We can do whatever we want. Honestly, it sounds great for a week. No, it sounds so... Like fun for a week. People literally had so much fun. Yeah, they're doing drugs. Then she did this thing. Getting fucked up. This guy comes, who's so sweet, was her father. And then he, a new guy comes in, chiseled jawline, so hot. And immediately she goes, oh...

My angels, Robert Williams is talking to me. He is, that guy is the father actually. So sorry, that guy is the father. I got it wrong. So the nice guy is like, okay, like your father. So this guy is a meth head. Yeah. And he starts like yelling at everyone and gets too powerful. So she goes. Sorry, I'm just picturing like me being like, Craig, we have to break up because, okay, small thing. Robin Williams literally told me. And this guy over here. Robin Williams thinks that guy is hotter than you. Yeah.

So then she literally goes, you are low vibration. You are your lowest masculinity right now. If our angels think we're meant to be together, then you have to find me, but I'm not telling you where I'm going. So she drives hours and hours, I think to like something crazy.

Like something like 35 days later, he just shows up at the door like he found a mess. Like he like walked like 80 miles and finds her and she's like, the angels meant for us to be together. And he's like, I'm sober. Long story short, it's two, I think it's two or three episodes right now. So it finishes and I'm like, let's fucking go. What's the next episode? And it's like next episode's coming out on Monday. The way I feel.

Felt like a frat boy who lost his fantasy football team. I wanted to punch a fucking wall. I am so spoiled with shows. Yeah, like binge the whole season. You got me watching a show that hasn't... You want me to wait six days to know what Robin Williams is mad about? That's fucked up. No, you...

And this is what's wrong with the entertainment industry because they gaslit us and they were like, and now we stream and you don't, and just buy all these streaming platforms. And the reason it's better is because you can watch it all at one time. Like you'll get the whole season. You never, the weekly thing is gone. We're never doing it again. And then they hook you on a show. And then it was like after COVID, they were like, psych, we're actually going to go back to weekly. So you're there waiting.

Till next Wednesday at 9 p.m. I've been given the goods. So now I'm tweaking, being like, I need the rest. And I'm not even excited to watch the next episode because I know I can't even know what happens after that episode until the following week. So life is bad. Life is pretty fucking bad right now. We're in a low point. Also, people have been messaging me about the Hillsong doc. I lost track of all the Hillsong docs, but I was on Hulu. There is one on Hulu through FX.

That is like the most updated one. Where they find the guy who...

Carl Lentz, who was like the hot preacher. Yeah. That cheated and all this stuff. To me, he's the same person as Scooter Braun. Like, that's the same guy. Yeah, they're the same person. Just different dimensions. They're different fonts. The same person. Like, when people talk about them, I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah. And Justin Bieber loves them both. Yeah. So Carl Lentz was crazy about this documentary is they fucking find him. Yeah. In hiding in Sarasota. Florida? Yeah. Yeah.

Sarasota is actually kind of a cute name. Sarasota. That's where I was conceived. He has like grown out hair. I love when guys get like a little emotional. They have to like grow out their beard and their hair. Oh, it's so dramatic. It's like, oh, okay, cast away. It's like you don't live in the middle of the woods. You're in Florida. You live on 47th Street, okay? Get a razor. Sorry a girl broke up with you when you were eight. Grow up. Like get over it. But he, it's funny because you get to hear him speak about stuff and-

That was fascinating. I don't want to give anything away, but like... Well, good job because you did it. And he talks and you should watch that one because he forms sentences with words he uses.

And yeah. And here we are. Pray for us, Kim, because this week, Hillsong, we are going to Chicago. Yes. And we both have flights the day before. We think there's a 0% chance that the show, anything will happen. Yeah. I booked my flight the day before because I just feel like Chicago has bad juju, bad energy with me and I couldn't risk like a random snow squall coming in on a Sunday afternoon. Squall? Snow squall? Yeah, snow squall.

I'm obsessed with that. Robin Williams was so mad that we missed the December show. Robin Williams is our guardian angel. So also, we are going to be planning another full Giggly tour. Yeah. We want to know from you guys where we need to go. Put it in the review section of the pod. Just blast it out. Let us know where you want us to go. Also, I do have to say, this is biased, but I just think the Gigglers...

after reading their comments all week, are just the funniest listeners of any podcast. And I'm biased. But, like, if you listen to Giggly Squad, you are certified hysterical. And I feel like we're just, like, a different type of vibes. Like, I know, like, every...

Look, every podcast has fans that people listen to that podcast. Those people are different than the people that listen to Giggly Squad. Yeah, like they're not our fans. They are our people. They're certified silly goosers. Because it's a sense of humor that is so... Yeah, it's different. There's so many layers of inside jokes that like...

We just love you guys so much. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Check the newsletter. For stuff. For stuff. There's a lot of stuff going on. It's actually, the newsletter's getting crazy. Yeah. And we'll talk to you guys later. Thanks for getting with us. Bye. Bye.