Giggling about fake friends, devils, and going red 01:08:29

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Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my ghostly gigglers? This is our Halloween episode. We're both wearing black. Didn't plan on it. But like... Just because we're depressed. I'm a little bit more anxious than depressed this week. Oh! Which sometimes I like because I feel skinnier.

I love that you're opening up so vulnerable this episode. I'll be slutty Barbara Walters. What happened this week? I also have therapy today at 4.30. So days that I have therapy and Giggly Squad, I feel like it's like over. You're an open sore. You are an open sore just bleeding out. I'm like, what more can I give to the people? And then by tomorrow, you're just alone, not talking to anyone with a jewel. It all goes backwards.

No, because also, like, I'll cancel so many therapy sessions in between. You can't cancel them. I know. And she's like, okay, Paige, it's been a month. What happened? I'm like, well, I've reverted back. Do you still have to pay when you cancel? That's what my girl used to do. I actually don't even know. I don't like to know. I don't like, you know. Just take my card. Maria, just be on call, okay?

You never know what could happen. Okay, wait. Sorry. No. Okay. The first thing I really wanted to talk about was, because I feel like it was the most DMs that I've gotten, about a topic. When we started talking about Taylor Swift and her style, I'm not going to lie. After the episode came out, I was nervous. You were nervous. I was nervous about the Swifties. I was nervous for you. Yeah, and I was like, okay. And I didn't get that many crazy DMs. Like, I really didn't. Like, people were like, we totally see what you're saying. I'm a Swiftie, but like, okay. Then...

Because Taylor Swift is clearly a giggler and just isn't saying it, which is fine. It's fine.

We don't need credit. But she stepped out in the outfit that I picked for her. Wait, what? Did you see her in the knee-high boot and the preppy, like, sweater dress? Yes, yes. And, like, she looked great. And she should always look like that. Like, she gives Gossip Girl vibes because she's tall, she's skinny, she's, like, a little bit like Serena Vanderwoodson. So she pulls off that preppy look. Wait, this means you're her consultant. You're her stylist consultant.

I was getting so mad in my DMs because everyone was sending me the picture and some of the people were like, see, she doesn't need a stylist. She looks so good. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? You're lying. Her stylist literally told her to wear this. And you're right. She does look stunning. She looks gorgeous. So, wait, maybe that should be your new thing where you like find celebrities that you're like, I want to. Oh, wait, it's my mom. Let's have her do a shout out. Mom, we're recording Giggly. Do you want to say anything to the Gigglers?

Oh my gosh. Hi. Hi, my girls. Hi, my girlies. Your mom's Gen Z. Hannah, I'm running late. I just want to tell you. So when I get there, you'll... So I'll just... I'll just start cleaning, okay? No, no, no.

Italian thing I've ever heard. Okay, I love you. Well, my mom just totally blew up my spot. Are you having her come for moral support? I have my therapy appointment today, which is dyeing my hair. Yeah. I can't wait. We're doing it. I can't wait. Des doesn't really approve. Okay. But I feel like he's in Ireland right now. I feel like that's a law. You have no say. You

You're in Ireland right now. There are terms. Yeah, you can't vote on my hair color from out of state. A different country. No. That's just politics. We don't make the rules. We just abide by certain laws. But you're so awake right now. I know. I know. So, Des has been gone for two weeks now. And I feel like our friendship's never been stronger. Ireland's four or five hours ahead. Who knows? So...

So around like 8 p.m. when I normally would be like with him. Yeah. You're voice noting me. He's asleep. The words need to go somewhere. So I'm just voice noting Paige. And she's coming right back. No, I'm alert. I'm ready. I'm here for it. I mean, my boyfriend was with me all week, but I was like...

Get out of here. I love how you're like, we have priorities. Also, at one point, we were voice noting about something, but then texting about something, but then Instagram DMing. We had three separate... You know that there's a lot of gossip when in a text message with your friend, you're having three separate conversations and you keep replying to the different points. It's honestly...

That's women in STEM. Like, to be able to follow that is insane. It's like when someone saw me in a murder case and there's like all those different colors of lines. People were also really coming at me because I don't have a picture for you saved in my contacts. I don't have a picture for you. I think, honestly, the real ones don't have the pictures. No, real friends have zero pictures together. If I have, they want like your summer house, your over-edited summer house photos.

You look like a wax figure.

I mean, I could probably. I mean, we do have pictures. I mean, we have like professional pictures together, but we don't have like real life. We have no real life pictures. But look, there's two types of friends. Like my friend Haley is the kind of person that like she will save my name really cute with a heart. She'll pick out the beautiful photo or the cute photo of me being silly. Yeah. Like she loves that shit. That's not us. These are. I feel like I just changed your name in my phone from Hannah Betches to Hannah Burner. Like three days ago. Wait, that was so weird.

And then I do this thing. Like, if I meet anyone with another person that I know that person. So, like, say you introduce me to someone and her name is, like, Claudia. Yeah. So, I will put Claudia in my phone as Claudia Burner. Yeah. Because, like, I will then know I met her through you. The amount of, like…

matte hinges I have on my phone. One day? I mean, these are contacts from the day I got my phone in high school. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. But also I do feel like it is an art form for you to consume content online and know immediately like, okay, this video is for this person. Yeah. I have like about five or six people that I'll send certain memes to. Like you get –

You see 1% of the cat memes I'm sending. Yeah. If it's a white cat that's really cute or wearing an outfit, it goes to you. Otherwise, I'll go to Sierra, my mom, and my Nana. If the cat is prettier than us, I get it.

Anything Pitbull related goes to Des. The cat stuff goes to my mom and my Nana. But it's like doing crowd work. You know, you're talking and then you're like, you're doing callbacks to this person. Then you're doing callbacks to this person. I mean, we're out here in these streets. My mom, I think, trolls me. She's getting harder in the DMs. Like she trolls me harder and harder as time goes on. And she'll just send me like a video of like a baby freaking out. And she'll just caption it, you. No way.

I'm like, okay, I'm 31, but... I just searched mom on Instagram to find my mom. That was so sad. Chris, your hair does look really good today. Thank you. Did you put less product in it? Probably more. It's getting long. Oh, that's what it is. It is getting long. Yeah. And then you have something happening on the top of your lip. Anyway, Chris loves working for us.

I will say, I do feel that that's like the only time I do feel like imposter syndrome. When I'm asking Grace, who works for us, to do something, like always be like, hey, can you do me a favor? But like in reality, like she has to do it. Do you want to know what it's like to work for me? Try and make it like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Because I feel weird being like, hey, can you just saying like, hey, Grace, can you do this? I'm like, hey, Grace. Just add LOL at the end. Put LOL, say it, and then LOL. I just say sorry a lot. Can you cancel everything I told you to do, LOL? No.

I feel like I say sorry all the time. I'm like, actually, can we change all this? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. This is what's like working for me this week. I was PMSing and having like, when I PMS, I'm actually not mean. I have more like existential crisis. Like I'm in my head. I'm like, yeah, what are we doing? What are we doing here? Like it's the same thing every fucking day. What are we doing? So Grace calls me. I feel like I'm just on the phone.

I was sitting there in my own head and I was like, you know what I should do before the pandemic? I used to do hip hop yoga. I'm like, why are you not doing hip hop yoga? You're not in a good place, are you? I'm sitting there and I woke up.

Why seven? You always won. I love why seven. So I woke up and I said, because I'm back from the road. Yes. And then my mom's like, you should work out. And I'm like, you should mind your fucking business. Passive aggressive. Do you want to know what my mom said to me the other day? What? She goes, oh my God, you look great. You should always look like this. I know.

No, my mom did that too. I literally, I was like, because when she said it, I was like, oh my God, thank you so much. She goes, you haven't looked like this in a long time? Keep it up. Because it was like, it was such, I felt like she was literally like my ice skating coach. She was like, you're doing great. You're doing amazing. She checked your gums. She was like, this is a good horse. But then was like, don't.

Fuck it up. And you guys, this is not their fault. This is a generational thing. But my mom was, yeah, my mom was like, you should work out. So I was like, I woke up and I didn't, I need to have like no plans to work out. If I have

If I have one meeting, I'm like, this is... Because let's be honest. There's our preparation. Right. Then there's like you have to change into the workout outfit. Right. Then you have to like physically go to the studio. If I have a call at 10 a.m., I can't work out in the morning. Or the afternoon. What am I? Then I'm working... What am I? The president? Just running the country?

I was watching the morning show where the woman woke up apparently at 3 a.m. to work out. Wait, the morning show like the – With Jennifer Aniston. Okay, like the scripted one. I literally watched the first 20 minutes. First season? Are you on first season? First season. She worked out before going to work at 5 a.m. No, it's crazy. I used to always think that was like the dream job. Like I wanted to do that. And let's be honest. If Good Morning America called me tomorrow, I was like, yeah, I'm there.

I have told myself, I said, oh, the reason why it can't be a morning talk show is just because of the time. Not because I say fuck every three seconds. Wait, Hannah. Did you say it on Amazon Live? No, but I was on a Zoom the other day with like,

Important people. Adults. Yeah, like a legit adult. And they were like, okay, and this is what you're going to do. And you're going to like, they'll have this script for you. And like, you'll say this, this, and this. And I said, can I swear? And right when I said it, I was like, obviously you can't, Paige. You fucking idiot. I also love how you said swear. Yeah. Like a housewife. Can I swear? But I don't be, let's talk about that after. And they all looked at me and they were like, no.

But no, we would say that you can't say fuck on the air. And I was like, okay, no, that was a stupid question. I was just like, you know, you said you wanted it to be my personality. And I was just... What do you think, I want you to be you? Without all the fucks. I don't say... Curse. Oh.

Yeah, I don't say curse or cuss. I don't say cuss. A lot of people say cuss. Who says cuss? I don't know. I feel like I've heard it a lot. Someone named Karen. I feel like maybe it's a Southern thing. Oh, yeah. Maybe it's a Southern thing. Well, I did this corporate gig. Oh, I got chills when I said it. You just threw a bunch of fucks around. Well, they said it's PG-13 and I'm doing stand-up.

Okay. And I'm like, what the fuck does PG-13 mean? Do you go different places and they're like... So Isabel texts me. She goes, it's PG-13. I go, what does that mean? And she goes, don't be graphic. Okay. And I said, what the fuck does that mean? I'd love to see you do stand-up at like a charity event. Yeah.

It would be the funniest. So I go, can I say pussy? And she was like, no. And then I was like, can I say clit? And she was like, no. And I'm like, that's part of the woman's body. Hannah's at home just Googling thesaurus. Synonym for clit. And the best part is it actually went really well. And at the end I said pussy.

As you're leaving, you're like, and don't forget you're all pussies. I once did a live spot on TV, like, years ago. And I was like, you know when you're just feeling the vibes? And I was making them laugh. And at the end, I said something like, and then I said like, and I was like, what the fuck? And they all freeze. And then I get cut out. Yeah.

Because they would get fined. I don't know why, but it was like the end of it. And they just were like, maybe if we just pause it right here, people would have missed it. Right. But that was definitely, I had to send an apology email. I sent an apology. Anyway, so I'm like, do I do hip hop yoga today? So I wake up.

And I'm like, I'm going to do hip-hop yoga. So then obviously the next hour I'm like, what are you thinking? You can't just go do hip-hop yoga. That's not you anymore. You don't have it in you. And then you're like lying down and you're like, this feels so good. I'm going to do hip-hop yoga. And then you're like, that's what the demons in your head are telling you. You have to do hip-hop yoga. And then like something happened. Like I got an email and I was like, I can't do hip-hop yoga tonight.

So I'm like battling my mind. Like I'm exhausted by like 1 p.m. It was like 4 p.m. I'm going to tell you something that really helped me in terms of like feeling like I needed to work out.

Workout classes, a thing of the past. No, don't do that. Like the only time I really will actually do it is if I wake up and I'm still in my pajamas and I do like something right there in the middle of my living room. Like a hot girl workout. Like that's why like the Peloton or like the aloe moves. My problem is like I do love –

being like, oh wait, let me just check one thing on my phone and then I'm on my back scrolling TikTok during the workout. Yeah, and I'll do like one thrust up and I'm like, that's so good for my butt. So this is what happens. Grace, our Gen Z correspondent and CEO, we're texting all day always. She starts calling me and I'm like, oh,

Is there a problem? The universe has brought this girl into my life. And I'm like, hey, is everything okay? And she's like, yeah, yeah, I just want to ask you something. And I'm like, this is so weird. We never talk over the phone. And she was like, I know, this is weird. And I go, you want to go to hip-hop yoga? Okay.

And she goes, what? And I go, she literally was like, I don't want to be a part of this conversation. I go, okay, there's a class at 430. If you go, I will go. If you go, I will go. And you could tell she's like, I didn't ask for this. I don't want to be a part of this. She's like, in what world did I wake up this morning and now I have to go to fucking hip hop yoga? No, well, she goes, so then I didn't mean to guilt trip her, but I feel like when you ask someone to work out, that's a guilt trip attack. Well, we're going to get a legal notice in the future.

mail because I don't think you can actually make...

You can't make your employees go work out. I think you should work out with me. That's illegal. So she goes, well, since we moved to New York, I have been wanting to do yoga. And I was like, Grace, I'm not going to go unless you go. And I feel like I should go. Should you go? Like, I don't know. Was I pressuring you? So she goes, I'll do it. And I was like, bitch, if you say yes, I'm buying it. $30 right now, I'm buying it. And I don't want to have to regret that. So we go, we're doing it.

I don't want to be down $30 for no reason. I'm so thankful that neither one of you even thought to throw me a text. Babe, we protect you at all costs. The fact that I wasn't involved in any of this makes me...

Gleeful. So I get off the phone with her and I realize I'm going to hip hop yoga. What horrible mistake have you done? So I hip hop yoga at, I think it was like five o'clock. So that means all day I fought myself. I was fighting for my life until five to be like, okay, I'm going. And we get there. And it was so scary because I haven't, I played tennis a little, but like I haven't really worked out. Yeah. And I'm someone who used to do...

Y7 yoga all the time. In New York City every single day because I had my 9 to 5. Oh, right, right, right. So you literally – you don't – this is how working out happens is when it's a routine. So you just – you go to work. You don't even think. Yeah. You go to Y7. You change into your workout outfit. You do the hour. You come back. You eat. I mean, it's exhausting. No. When I worked a 9 to 5, I worked out like three times a week. Because you're already outside. You're already outside. That's what it is. You're already out.

When you were on the couch. I used to leave my job, get on the subway to go to Rumble. Take a Rumble. Rumble? Yep. Take a Rumble class. Okay, anger management. And then go back home and I would like eat a healthy meal and then like go to bed and wake up. How do your like long little dainty fingers punch? I'm going to be honest. I broke a lot of nails. That's why I've never gone back. They don't talk about that at Rumble. Because when you like, when I do my fist, I'm basically Sheena. Like I can't make a fist. Wait, you're.

Wait, your fists are so little and cute. I look like a hoof. No, you have a cute little fist. So anyway. Wow, that was kind of adorable. We like don't hug. We do weird other, we go like this. And we just touch fingers. So your finger was like, oh, I just touched the grossest finger.

So Grace and I, we did it. Yeah. And I literally, I wanted to scream to the world, like if you haven't worked out for a while, this is your sign. Go to that yoga class. Try it. Like at one point I was like shaking, but I like looked over to her and she looked at me and she was smiling and like,

Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't shoot their husbands. Yeah, they just don't. Anyway, we like haven't even started the pod yet. Wait. So we have notes. So many notes. I do have to say, normally, I feel like I have way more notes than you. You went off this week. You have a ton of notes. And I do just want to shout out Kim Kardashian. Hi, babe. Did you see? I don't know. I wanted to cry. I got emotional. I...

How emotional. I was like, wait, this is the most genius thing ever. The marketing was great. Her little video was great. And like, how has no one thought of a nipple bra? I wasn't even talking about the nipple bra. Oh, what were you talking about? The newest announcement. You need to keep the fuck up. What? Okay, well, the nipple bra, first of all, I'm the most nippy bitch on the planet. I think I'm going to get it. I fucking love nipples.

showing through a shirt. I think it's so cool. See, I'm like always hard for no reason. I would like do, do you remember the summer house? I would do interviews and they'd always be like,

The guy would be like, oh, there's something. Is that? Is that? And they'd be like, Hannah, do you have like nipple covers? And I'd be like, I forgot. And they'd be like, okay, what are we going to do about this? And I'd be like, I'd just like rub them, try to keep them warm. Yeah, that's great. Because they're putting air on you. Right, right, right, right, right. No, she just made an announcement that she's the new official sponsor of the NBA's Undergarments.

Wait, I didn't even see that. No, no, no. The NBA. Like, this is fucking huge. So, like, she's making all the boys underwear? She's making all the boys underwear. Look at her and her cute little fucking blazer. Wait.

It's because we went to the Knicks game. We went to the Knicks game. We are the official sponsors of the NBA. This is incredible, though. Like, I love that the girlies are taking over sport. Oh, NBA and the WNBA. I mean, this is incredible. This is incredible. Good for her. And did you see Kylie's coming out with her fashion line? And I feel like it's so Timothee Chalamet inspired, and I love it. It's Timothee coded. Yeah.

Wow. Did you just make that up or you heard that? No. Well, people, I love saying coded now. I like it. As in like, if you see. It's all over it. Like a ballet, ballet pink nail, you go, that's so page coded. We're like, if you see someone having diarrhea in a bodega, you go, that's so Hannah Codd. Is that like a thing the Gen Z girlies are doing? Yeah. Oh, I like it. I'm very into that. Yeah. Okay. So Kim's having a great week. Yeah. She's crushing it. Free the nipple. So what do we, what do we start the pod with? Yeah.

Wait, what was your puke confession? Oh, we were getting heat. We were. We were getting a little heat because our video went viral about... And I'm normally not in the comments, but people were like DMing me. Because we did this thing about the brunch rule. Yeah. That in California, if you puke in the restaurant, you get a... You have to pay. Yeah. And we...

that meant if you puke in the bathroom. Right. Because we're normal. Because we're normal. Everyone in the comments was like, if you puke on the table, I would hope that you wouldn't want your server to. And I was like, if I puke on the table, I'm taking my shirt off, cleaning it up with my own shirt. If you puke on the table, we can't, even I can't help you there. Open your purse like a fucking adult. Also, who are the animals that

At the table. No, that's insane. Or like if you're puking on the floor, you're just leaving it. That's crazy. Well...

If it's a dark bar and it's 2 a.m., that's not your problem. Well, if it's – but brunch is daylight. Brunch is different. But I – it wasn't even going through our heads that there are animals out there that are throwing up on the table. Yeah, we did not realize that. Obviously, you clean it up. You leave the fattest tip ever. Right. If you're, you know – so, yeah. Thank you for raising awareness about animals at brunch. Wait. Did you see – okay, remember at the Knicks game when we did that video? Yeah.

answering those questions that that guy was asking us. I can't even remember his name right now, but someone commented, some random guy was like, these girls are giving OnlyFans vibes. From that moment on, I was different. I was different. I re-watched the video. Because you know how you re-watch your own stories in like different perspectives of people? I re-watched the video in the perspective of a man that's never seen us before. And I was like, oh my God, we do give silly girl like...

OnlyFans vibes. Was he calling us hot? I think so. Like we can make money off our bodies. Right. That's how they found us. We exclusively have OnlyFans showing nipples. You're obsessed with your nipples right now. You go, do you want to see my nipple? No.

You started OnlyFans just wearing Kim Kardashian's nipple bra, just being like more fake nipple. Do you remember after the interview with the guy, I looked at you and I was like, that felt like a porno. Yeah. Like it felt like a casting couch where like he was like- I think it was just because like there was a guy asking questions and we're just not used to that. Because a tall guy asked us questions, we were like- Yeah. Are you trying to have a threesome? Ew. This is so inappropriate. Ew.

And I do think it's funny that conveniently he cut out the part where we just roasted him. He...

No, I said, send me the raw footage because I know you're going to edit me to look like some dumb bitch. I've seen, I've had it done to me before. Give me the raw footage. Yeah. He actually is going to send me the one because he cut out me saying jizz or something or semen. He cut out semen. How rude. Look. No, and then he asked us what our type was or what are our ics or our red flags or something and we just described everything he was wearing. I'm going to say not. No.

I know we said men asking us questions in the microphone. I'm going to message him and be like, can you please send me the raw footage and we'll tag you. Yeah. Or we won't tag you if you don't want us to. We'll put something over your face if we want you to. So anyway, that was weird getting interviewed by a man. But every now and then in life, they pop up. And you can't avoid them. Sometimes it comes across my desk. It's that time of the year. Your vacation is coming up.

You can already hear the beach waves, feel the warm breeze, relax, and think about work. You really, really want it all to work out while you're away. Monday.com gives you and the team that peace of mind. When all work is on one platform and everyone's in sync, things just flow. Wherever you are, tap the banner to go to Monday.com.

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After you purchase, they may ask where you heard about them. Please support Giggly Squad and tell them that we sent you. Honeys, you deserve this. Free the pain and discomfort. Keep the support with Honey Love. I'm so happy that you texted me this weekend asking me if I was going anywhere to get reassurance that you...

weren't going to have FOMO. I saw one too many of, like, my friends out. Yeah. First of all, I was like, well, I wasn't invited. Second of all, I was like, maybe I was invited and I just said no already or didn't see it. Third of all, I was like, who's someone that will make me feel better in this moment? Who's someone that... I also knew that if I texted you and you were out, I would be like, oh, I was supposed to do something tonight. You know how you sometimes forget the rules? I just...

I just couldn't do it. For some people, like, they're like, Halloween is my everything. They love it. I respect you so much that, like, you can put in that kind of effort to, like, be creative and have fun. Like, I honestly respect it so much. I don't have it in me. The whole, like, having five Halloween costumes. No, I can't. Well, I'm, like, sick of outfits.

You're like, actually, every day is Halloween for me. I'm so fucking sick of clothes. I'm fucking sick of outfits. Do you know what I'm sick of? People commenting saying, why don't you get painted to style, yeah? No, I... I got so attacked on one of my comedy videos recently. And we're not complaining. This is actually quite funny. No, we love it. We love it. Craig...

We have BravoCon this weekend, and I told Craig last month, like, let's do your BravoCon outfits because I can't do it the week before. I'm going to be so fucking stressed. I could just see you on a Zoom with him with, like, a PowerPoint of me, like, okay, next. I hate it. And he was like, don't worry, don't worry. Like, I'm going to figure it out. Like, I'm not even going to need your help. That's what I say.

Don't worry, I'm going to figure it out. When I know for a fact I'm not going to figure it out. And I just don't want to deal with the pressure of it all, and I'm scared. I somehow got roped into not only doing all of his outfits, but I also did all of Austin Kroll's outfits. You have to— No, I have children. I have kids. You have to charge a fee. I'm a single mom. Okay.

Like, I'm out here making sure we're tucking them in for bed at the appropriate time, making sure they wake up, they drink their orange juice, we eat more vitamin C. I just envision Austin being in the background like, what about me? No, literally. Because Craig goes, okay, Craig goes to suit supply. Am I supposed to wear this too? Craig goes to suit supply, and then he just props me up on FaceTime, and they're just changing into outfits. I love how you go, Craig that words, Austin, we can't. Austin, I know you're having fun right now. Austin, stop. Stop.

And if I would say to Austin, like, yes, I love that, Craig would pop back in and be like, do you love this? What about this? Are you in love with this? Which one do you like better? I will say they're going to look phenomenal at BravoCon, and I'm very proud of my work. I mean, you're a full celebrity consultant at this point. It's just like how I'm not on the payroll for going down south is just like I'm a professional babysitter. Meanwhile, Des has been in Iowa for three weeks, and I'm a single mom.

To butter. No, you literally are. Actually, butter was a little naughty today and she's never naughty. What'd she do? I'm on a really bad sleep thing where I'm falling asleep at three. In the morning? Yeah. Okay. And waking up at 11. Yeah. I'm on that right now too. I had like three or four days that I could sleep in and like. I'm in my anxious era where I can't go into my bedroom.

I know exactly. I ordered a new bed at 2 a.m. because I was like, it's my bed. I was like, it's not every regret I've ever had in my life. It's my bed. Wait. I ordered a $1,700 bed. Wait, Hannah, I legitimately need a new mattress. A nectar bed. How long till it gets delivered?

A couple days. Okay. I would love for you to give me a review after because I don't know what company. Because my mom hasn't. I can't remember what I have right now. There's also a cheap Amazon that Des and I have used that is, if you like firm. I need firm. This Amazon, it's so cheap and it's so good. I'll link it in the newsletter. Okay.

No, actually do link it because I need it. People don't talk about... How important mattresses are. Well, they don't talk about mattress stores either. My thing is you can't just shop online like you're at Zara on your phone because obviously everything's expensive. Also, I want to fucking feel it. I don't trust your little like 6.2 firmness. That doesn't mean shit to me. That's a made up thing. Should we go to sleep whatever? We'd never leave. Sleep mattress. And we live here now. We're home.

How we haven't done a collab with any mattress company ever, and it's just us living in the store. Or at least a YouTube of us going to, what are like the sleep stores called? I think they're just like drug fronts.

Because I'm not getting in the city of Albany where I grew up. Well, I grew up outside of the city. If you go into the city, there's a mattress firm on every corner. And we have a high drug population. I feel like we're trafficking. We're Vermont, Albany. That's it. We've got it on lock. So I just feel like there's too many mattress stores in the city of Albany and the world really to not be affiliated with a drug cartel. If you're not putting something under your mattress, you're not using it to the fullest. Yeah.

Do you store things under your bed? No. What do you store in your bed? My hat. Oh, like.

Oh, like under. Okay, yeah, yeah. So anyway, Butter was really naughty. She starts, I finally, you know how like you're tired at 8 p.m. and you're like, this is going to be an easy night. Yeah. I'm going to pass out. Yeah. And then 10 o'clock rolls around and you're like, I'm going to bed. I'm putting myself in bed. You're like, what if I reorganized everything? No, I know. So like you get in bed and then you're like, I'm very into New York Times crossword puzzle. Wow.

Then I got like onto something. How are you doing the New York Times crossword puzzle? Are you just doing it on an app? I do it on an app and I just do the Mondays. They're the easiest ones. Are you a Wordle girl? I was for a bit. My mom's very into Wordle. Honestly, we are too competitive and she was kicking my ass and I was like, it's not fun for me anymore. No, my mom's really good. She sends it to me. I'm going to have Lenore and Kim on a Wordle battle.

Wait, that would be so cute. Lenore and Kim wordling every morning. Yeah, we have to keep their minds going. Apparently my Nana, her and my mom send each other wordles every morning. It's adorable. So Butter starts meowing at 6 a.m. And I fell asleep at like midnight, which was early for me. So I was like, why is this happening? She never does this. Now cats meows. There's different kinds of meows. Okay. She speaks English to me. Yeah. Like you know what. Yeah. You know one's in distress. One that she's like, one attention. That's distress. But they do this like.

like permea thing where they go yeah which means like hey i have to tell you something it's basically a voice note for a guy so she's doing that that's like so you too so i'm like babe what's up it's 6 a.m and i'm not really processing it so i'm like you want to get fed now which is crazy on your end it's crazy on you but i'm not gonna judge a hungry bitch middle of the night

So I get up and I feed her. And I'm like, okay, whatever you want. Mama will spoil you. But like 6 a.m. In your head, you're like, see, mom, she's just hungry. Like if she's hungry, give it to her. This is how you be a mom. You look great on any size, but if you want food at 6 a.m., here it is. I go, you deserve it. So then this bitch comes back. And she's like, and she does this thing where she'll put a paw on my face. Yeah, to make sure you're not dead. I'm like, what?

What the fuck is up? And I'm like, shh, maybe she wants me to pet her. So I'm petting her and she's like, yeah, it's okay. So I'm like, okay, I have like giggly sweat at 11 a.m. and now you're starting to fuck shit up for me? Yeah. So I looked at her. You're like, there's no way I'm going to yoga tonight. Hip hop yoga is already canceled because of you. I want to wake up in the middle of the night. I'm like, I can't work out tomorrow. I'm exhausted. It's like a little windy outside. I'm like, definitely can't go to yoga. Yesterday, my

Yesterday, my dad was here and I was like, oh, I have to, I had plans with a friend and I was like, oh, I have to cancel this. He was like, why? And I was like, it's raining outside. He was like, he was dumbfounded. He was like, okay. I was like, did you not hear me? It's raining out. In New York, you cannot even know that it's raining outside until you look at your phone. For sure. Like I had to ask, like I ask the temperature every morning, but like if it's raining in New York City...

Don't contact me. No, you don't do anything. No, I'm not. And then if it's like really hot, everyone's outside, which means... I wear ballet flats. I can't go out in the rain. I would drown. Everyone was sending me your ballet photo. Because they're so cute. They are. They'd look cute if I had the tiniest little chicken feet. So Butter's talking to me. She's like...

So I look at her and I'm like, I'm going to understand what you need right now. And he said, babe, talk to me. It's us. It's us right now. It's just us here. It's just us. And I go, I'm going to get up and you show me what you need. Okay. So I get up and you could tell she's like excited and she's looking at me and she's like stretching a little. I'm like, okay, she's happy. I'm like, what do you need? What do you need? And she starts guiding me to this closet in the beginning of the apartment and

She wanted me to open the door of the closet. I opened the door of the closet and she just goes right in. And I go, this is what you fuck. She basically was like, I need to have some time. And I guess the closet doors normally open. I don't know how this happened, but this bitch was like, thank you. I've been trying to get away from you. Shut that actually. She was honestly hearing you breathing was annoying the fuck out of me. And I just wanted to be put. She literally just goes to the closet. And then she was not, I heard a peep from her.

And I was like, when did I? My cat turned into Paige. She was like, I just want to be alone. She's like, you know what's so funny? Right now, I'm feeling like I need a moment alone. And I'd love if I couldn't see her face. That's literally what she did. So anyway, I communicate with Butter. No, I am a cat. You're literally a cat. And we're so close to getting you a cat. And the thing is, Craig supports it. But he'd want the cat.

Get a cat in Charleston. And you don't have to, like, holy mother it. He supports getting an animal, but he knows, which let's be honest, he knows that, like, Hole have to do everything. And you guys travel so much. So much. He wants, like, a big dog. I want a small dog so I can, like, travel with it. Can you get a little white chihuahua? But also, like, it will stress me out so much bringing an animal on flights. Yeah, no, I don't want that for the animal.

Yeah, because, like, I feel like that stresses them out. I'm going to be stressed. Like, what if, like, she just freaks out and there's, like, people sitting next to me? Like, that will be too much. Like, honestly, I don't even think I can have kids because I don't want to bring them on a plane. Why aren't people asking Craig if he's going to move to New York? It pisses me off so much. No one ever asks him. That is so insane to me. I mean, there are some people that will be like, like Tiffany New York Pollard, who was like, you have to move to New York. Yeah.

It's not like you're asking him to move to something that isn't where his business could be. And people are like, well, he's on Southern Charm. And I'm like, yeah, that's fine. He has a house there. And I'm going to be honest. He has more of a social life in New York City than I do. He loves New York. He asked me to go out the other night and I was like, absolutely not. You have friends? Where did you find friends? No. I know he has a full life in New York. I just think it's wild. I don't care about the logistics, that it's not been thrown around everywhere.

Like at all. Right. It's always you move to Charleston. Like New York's not the greatest city in the world. You can get anything at any time. You can go to Bodega literally at 4 a.m. 1 a.m. I was like, what if I had sesame chicken? Literally was like, wake me up. Let me go to the Bodega and come back. Speaking of eating, I ordered my Starbucks spinach feta wrap. Highly recommend. I'll put it on the newsletter. Oh, I have a new like Starbucks. Oh, what is it? I now get a cold brew with sweet cream.

So I had my Spanish feta wrap, shout out, and I go to my friend's podcast. Actually, I'm going to shout it out. You throw it on the table. And I leave. You're like, here's a tip. A hundred dollar bill in my puke. I go get it. So it's my friend who I hadn't seen in a while. And I have so much fun. And I go back to my apartment. I look in the mirror. And I had a chunk of spinach in my teeth. And it was filmed.

And you know what? No one said anything. These people are not my friends. It was in the second one, like a chunk. It was the kind of thing that you definitely say something. Yeah, like you see it.

you for sure say something and it's not embarrassing but like I'm with a bunch of dudes either maybe they don't see details or like I just did a video pod and I'm thinking of all the things I said thinking I was sounding and you're a laugher like you're my teeth are out to play yeah like you're smiling buck teeth burner is what they call me laughing

I'm out in these streets letting the teeth fly. Yeah. And I'm thinking of all these times that I thought I was like so smart or so funny or so cool. And I'm like rethinking it that they're like this fucking bitch with her fucking spinach like this stupid bitch.

I don't care how, if you met the person two seconds ago, you tell them if they have something in their teeth. Right. Because it was one of those things that like I didn't look in the mirror, I guess, beforehand. Especially if you're going to be on camera. Like if we're at Starbucks and the barista has something in her teeth, I'm probably not saying anything because I don't know that woman. Yeah, that's a day in the life. But like if we're about to film something and you're like, okay, I'm getting ready. You're like, you would say, you have something in your teeth. You have something in your teeth, which is totally normal. Happens to the best of us. Yeah. But that's...

That's what happens when you try to be healthy and you eat spinach. Do you put black and blue on your eye? Where, like here? No, on the eyelid. On the eyelid. Just like one, oh no, it's mascara.

You go, did someone punch you in your whole... Because it looked like... Speaking of, your whole eye is black for the last 45 minutes of this podcast. Did it smudge? It just was such a perfect, like, it looked like someone literally just pushed in on your eye. It could have been butter when she was pawing me last night. Oh, I have something too. I think we're doing two episodes today. Women...

Dating's weird. Okay? Dating's weird.

People don't talk enough about how like intuitive women are compared to men. Just like in everyday settings. You know like you walk into a room and you can feel like – well, one, I feel like women do this because we're always in like survival mode of like, okay, how do we get out of here if someone like tries to kidnap me? Like where am I going? So we're like assessing – Or you're like, why has no one tried to kidnap me? Why has no one – Yeah, we're always like assessing the vibe. Yeah, you have to. Like what's the energy? What's the vibe? Yeah.

So Craig and I went to this charity gala in Washington, D.C. last week. Was that where the photo's from? Yes. Okay. And I wanted to take a photo. So we're walking out and all I see are men. And I'm like holding my phone and he says like, okay, where do you want to do it? And I'm like, I want to do it right there. And I'm just like standing being like, oh, which one of these men looks the most capable? You know? And that's –

You look for the one who... That's a moment that you're just like, how did you get here? Are any of you gay? Has anyone even thought about being gay before? I'm like, which one is throwing my gay radar? And I'm like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I love when they... I will post the photo. It's always blurry. And I go, when a straight man takes your photo.

The heavens opened up and I just feel this girl behind me. And I turn and she goes, do you want me to take the picture? And I was like, oh my God. That's girlhood. Thank you so... She goes, I felt it. She goes, first of all, you're spinning to your teeth. We've been at the gala for two hours and no one's told you and I'm so sorry. And I was just like, oh my God. Because I said nothing. Like I literally was just standing there like scanning. I know the face though and you're like...

A girl is trying to take a photo. Right. And she just came from nowhere and was like, I'll do it. And I was just like, wow, we're so intuitive. Heroes are all around us. She nailed it. She got the shot in four clicks. So people lost their mind. I think it was a, is it Queens by Bravo said something really funny because I was going through the comments. Yeah. And they were like, oh my God, Craig made the main feed. This is iconic. And people were like, like defending you guys. And she's like, it's a joke. Like this is a literal joke.

But you broke the internet with that photo. Did I? I think it's because you never post him first. Yeah. In the grid. And people just, this is the problem with our culture. Well, let's be honest. It was my boobs. Like, I posted that picture because my boobs have never looked better. She goes, okay, you think people liked it because of Craig? It's funny. I'm just saying why I posted that picture first. Because I was like, here we are. It's so funny. As a straight girl. Mm-hmm.

I, like, never process girls' boobs. Like, you know in middle school or high school when everyone's like, oh, that girl's, like, so hot. And I'd be like, I mean, she's nice. Like, she's pretty. She looks the same as all the other girls. And then the guy would be like, she has huge fucking tits. And I'm like, I didn't see that. I didn't see that. You don't notice them. I don't notice them. See, I think I notice them because I've always had smaller boobs. So I've always, like, looked at girls with bigger boobs where you have, like, a normal boob size. That's how I feel about girls with, like,

skinny long fingers I'm like what's it like to have a little she's just so daintily talking about something where I'm just like good um no that photo was really good except if I if I because of my skinny long fingers if I give someone the finger it's like it's too much it doesn't it doesn't hit it's almost like no don't do that

I like automatically lose whatever fight. Also, like I'm not just like out here. I can floss myself. When's the last time you were just like, fuck you? I haven't. In New York, we leave the thumb out. Why am I like, I totally don't know how to do it. You leave the thumb out. Do you? That's how like New Yorkers do it. You leave the thumb out. You go, fuck you. I don't flip enough people off. I haven't flipped a person off in years. Yeah. Literally years. I don't know if I really, no, I feel like maybe driving at some point I've done it. Speaking of things in photos.

I've been getting attacked about my knees recently. How niche? I know. And people like to comment on knees. And I'm like, it's a fucking knee. What about your knees? Someone told me my knees look like Voldemort.

They nailed it. Because they do. But like, people are like, oh, there's a face in her knees or whatever. But I'm like, isn't that normal that the place where my knee needs to bend, the skin will not look like my thigh skin? I need to see your knees. But again, I post these fucking things.

stand-up clips about the joke, okay? I'm not positioning my knee in a type of way. I'm not facetuning my body and I'm not changing my fucking outfit because you know what? I'm bloated and I probably put it on for a reason. We'd love if you blurred your knees a little bit.

But also, I posted a stand-up clip where I wore this. Someone was like, it looks like she went to a thrift shop and just like threw it all together. I go, that's exactly what I did. And that's what I was going for. And yeah, you're artistic. And the girls are like, get it, get it. And the girls don't, don't. And it was the same color palette. It was gray, gray, gray. Did you hate the outfit? No. No. I didn't. Our friendship is based on trust.

And you just have full, you lied. You lied to my face. I didn't hate the outfit. I actually love. How could I have made it better? I love when you wear a vest like that. You give me a sandwich compliment, a sandwich criticism right now. Compliment, criticism, compliment. I love when you. I love who you are as a person. Okay. I love the light that you bring to the world. I love your energy. I love the concept. I have another funny story.

How would I have made it better? I would have either kept the skirt and done like a black top or I would have kept the vest and done like a black jean. Yes, which I've done before. You have to understand, I'm going to all these cities. I don't want to wear the same outfit. I know. And like I like mixing patterns sometimes. I know you do. You like being funky. Look, those people don't get your style and that's fine. It's your personal style. Don't listen to those people. They probably don't even –

They probably, I don't know what they don't do, but they don't do something. They don't do it. They don't do it the way you do it. And they're happy that they don't do it. What story are you going to tell? You make people feel better because they're like, I dress better than a famous girl. And that's a service you bring to us. He goes, first of all, it's relatable. It's relatable. So I'm standing on the street the other day and these two girls are- First of all, why are you on the street? How did you get there? Puppy.

I was trying to go to yoga. I'm standing on the street and I'm waiting for my Uber and I see these two Gen Z girlies walking toward me. And they would have stuffed me in a locker in high school. They were tall, skinny, dressed so cool. They're walking toward me. I'm actually on the phone waiting for my Uber. And I just turned and I was like, you guys look so good. Silence, dead air. And I was just like, oh my God.

I'm so awkward. I say it again. You're like, they must have been a win. Yeah, they must have. I said, you look so good. They were like, ma'am. And the girl, like, kind of like, she's like, oh, thanks. So do you. I did not look good. Okay, I know for a fact that I did not look good. You guys were wearing a blazer that didn't match your skirt. I was literally in sweats. I was going to, like, a beauty appointment. I looked disgusting. And they were, like, heels. And then I realized, were they in Halloween costumes? What?

I was like, wait, were they dressing up? Was that cosplay as a 90s person? But I thought it was a real outfit. They were actually 42-year-old moms. And I was like, maybe they thought I was making fun of them. I went through a whole spiral in my head. That is the worst. Yeah, that was like me in Soho when I pummeled that girl. Yeah, I was just trying to be nice. And then I was like, this is why I don't freaking talk to people. This is why I'm mean. No, literally. I'm like, this is why I am a bitch. Because I tried to do something nice. And the universe just spat in your face.

Again, speaking about knees, I was watching Dancing with the Stars. I watched it for three minutes and it was like one girl was like crying about something and I was like, I just want to see them dance. But I was thinking how like there's that pipeline that like eventually in your career. You go on Dancing with the Stars. You can go on Dancing with the Stars if you're in entertainment. And then I was. It is.

Kind of. There is like a line, I feel like. It's a canon event. Yeah, where it's like, oh, but I've been on Dancing with the Stars. Like Vinny was on Dancing with the Stars. Yep, yep, yep. Des did Dancing with the Stars in Ireland.

Please, guys, Google it. Please. People don't talk enough about Desmond dancing with the stars. Desmond dancing with the stars. You can't bring it. Don't bring it up, though, to him because he's. He could never. He did get. He got voted off in a way that was controversial. Like they had to change the rules because of it. I mean. Because he shouldn't have been voted off. If that's not the Bishop household. And then they changed the rules. He changed the game. He changed the game. But he said it was like the best time of his life. He loves it. Yep.

So I was like thinking about Dancing with the Stars and how like I can't touch my toes. Yeah. The one thing they do is like as the girls, they like fling your legs around. Dancing with the Stars has a real missed opportunity with not having us on competing against each other. Just wait, we're on a side stage. Just me and you dance battling it out. Our partners are literally signing resignation letters. They're like, we'll never dance again with these two.

Because think about us in a rehearsal. Like, genuinely. Think about us in a rehearsal and them being like, okay, we're going to do this for the next three hours. We're not, probably. If you could send us an email about it, we'll try and practice at home. But we're certainly not coming to a rehearsal. We're laying on the floor. Like, literally being like, okay, then your leg's going to go into my arm. And I was like, my leg is not going anywhere. Do you want me to dislocate my fucking hip? Also, who are these girls walking around that are just, like, doing splits?

I was never flexible. Yeah, me neither. But, like, you don't just... One day do a split. Start doing splits. Like, I'd have to stretch for 10 months before going on Dancing with the Stars. Or then it's like, am I the man one? Like, do I make him do the splits and I can just...

Honestly, that's what I would do. Let's be honest, man. They're guiding. They're leading. No. I do that in my sleep. Right. I boss people around all day. I don't know. I wouldn't. I would do Dancing with the Stars just to say like I did Dancing with the Stars. But I know I'm voted out first or second. I think I'm doing hip hop yoga. So that one day. One day.

And then when you get... Isn't that not fair? The men don't have to be flexible. No. And the girls have to be so fucking bendy. And they have to do it in heels. And in heels! Yeah. I mean, I would like to do hip hop. Just like shake my ass for like 20 minutes. Maybe they'll do like special guest appearances and you can go on, do one dance, and then you can be done. Wait, this is so graphic, but Hannah and I had one of the funniest situations happen to us ever.

Hannah's at a work event. She sends me a picture. She sends me a picture of her and some guy and I'm recognizing the guy but I'm like, how the fuck do I know this guy? Hannah texts me and she goes, this guy says he knows you. So I'm staring at the picture, staring at the picture and then I go, I had sex with his brother. The guy in front of everyone had been like, yeah, she knew my brother. She's a really

girl. And he kept looking at me and I was texting. I think he knew that I was getting the tea. Because I kept kind of smirking. Because I was like, I know that face, but I don't know that face. You know? And then I was like, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I've been to his house before. So are you dying your hair red also? You know me and my fads.

And I'm no longer getting veneers. I'm no longer dying my hair red. I'm not getting a boob job. I am back on my Barbie Botox shit, though. I think I am going to get that. I wanted to get the masseter ones. Okay, but I keep seeing on TikTok like— People saying they can't smile? Yes. Yes.

Yeah, I saw that too. I either get girls being like, it's the best decision I ever made, or I get girls being like, this is your sign to not get it. This is why the internet's so difficult. So I posted on my story because I said I want to see what the girlies say because I want to go to a dermatologist that's good and recommend it. These messages were so different. Some girl goes, just want to tell you, changed my life, greatest thing ever, have fun. Next girl, it ruined my life, I can't smile.

Next girl, go to this doctor. She's the best. Next girl, if you don't go to this doctor... You'll die. You'll die. So, like, I got more confused than ever. It's so confusing. It's so fucking confusing. I genuinely think...

I genuinely think you should go to my dermatologist because my number one favorite thing about him is the first time I ever went to him, he said, I said, okay, I want to get Botox. And he said, I will not give you Botox right now. You do not need it. Next time you feel like it, come in and I'll tell you if you can get it or not. And like, I appreciated that. The day that he's like, you need Botox. I'll cry as he's getting the needle ready. Thank you for just being so honest.

But, no, I appreciate that because, like, yes, I feel like there are people that are just like, oh, they want to do it or like, oh, yeah, you're going to pay for this? Like, fuck yeah, we'll do it. Like, give us the money. And not all Botox injectors are created equal. Right. And, like, I feel like a lot of people do say, like, oh, you should go to a plastic surgeon. You should go to a doctor. I genuinely think you should go to a dermatologist or go to a nurse that's doing it every single day. Like, the doctors aren't doing it every single day. They're making their nurses do it. Also, if I don't smile, like...

No one will ever see spinach in my teeth. But I feel the same way. Like TikTok is really fucking me up with the is it good, is it bad. Yeah, I think we've learned that the internet is wild and everyone has different opinions and projects their own experiences onto you. Wow. Okay. I feel like Brene Brown said that. Yes, she did. One thing I learned recently is that culture

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Because I've been home, I've been watching TV. Have you? Like, I have shit to tell you guys. Oh, I meant to say the show I was talking about last week, Lessons in Chemistry. I said it was based on a true story. It's not. It's based on a book. But in my head, that's the same thing. If it was written on paper, it's the Bible. Write it, regret it, say it, forget it. You know, that's how I...

That's why we send voice notes. Also, we do have a lot of false information on this pod, but we will, the following episode... Correct it. Correct it. If it comes across our desk. If it doesn't, then... If we miss the DM, it's not happening. We're learning and realizing things. Okay, first up, Amazon Prime. I clicked on the Kelsey doc. Okay. It's about his brother, but he's in it a lot. Okay. I only watched the first 10 minutes. Okay.

His brother's adorable, like a big bear. How? Does it say how old they are? Like how old is his brother? I think they're in their 30s. But it was pretty slow. Okay. And I forget why I turned it off, but... Do you think like the other good-looking football players are jealous of Travis Kelsey? Like do you think Jimmy Garoppolo is somewhere being like...

I could have been dating, like, the most famous woman ever and, like, gotten all this clout. Like, do you think there's jealousy happening in the NFL world and, like, we don't hear about it because it's guys? Great question. I think there's two types of players. One that, like, generally just gives a fuck about football, does not want to be distracted. They have the whole rest of their life to be in relationships, and they really just—

They play better when they're focused. And then there's guys who do like the clout. They like the attention. Like Odell Beckham, who is with... He likes the drama. He likes that stuff more. So I think some of the guys really are like, I don't want the paparazzi. I don't want any of that shit. So I do think it just depends on the guy, but...

During football season, it's like the wives always say like it's all about football. I barely even see them. So like the fact that Travis is having this relationship with her right now is wild. But that's what makes me think like if I were if I ever did marry or ever did have to like date a professional athlete, I my personality would be able to do it. Oh, for sure. Because I'd be like, yeah, go. Yes. No, it's great. Because you're like you're playing your little game. Yeah. Play your game. Play your games.

Let me know what happens. That's so much fun. Let me know how it turns out. It's just I prefer the games that don't involve concussions. Yeah. Okay, this is kind of fucked up. Netflix. Devil on Trial. Okay. This man...

claims that when he was 11, he... What's it called when the devil goes inside you? An exorcism? Yeah, he was... Possessed. If you mansplained us one more time, he was possessed by the devil. And it's really, actually really good, Devil and Child, because they have audio. They found these people that do exorcisms. Is it...

Well, part of you is like... Do you believe it? I started Googling. I was like, how does one get possessed by the devil? Because I feel like this is... I'd be like, God damn it. Yeah. Because... I think it's happening again. He basically said he went into a house and felt cold air. And next thing you know, started hearing voices. Sounds like a dream, honestly. And there's steps to where it eventually takes over your body. But my thing with the devil is they always say that the devil is...

always like curses and they'll be like you fucking fat bitch like he was like calling his mom that and I'm like I don't feel like the devil would be that funny I genuinely don't feel like the devil has like a sarcastic sense of humor yeah they give the devil like this like fuck you bitch like I don't think the devil he's more serious than that yeah like the devil possessed our bodies he called his brother a pussy like that's like lighten up

But then you're like, okay, this guy fully, this is the devil. But then the dad, apparently the dad didn't believe it. And the kid was having one of his devil freakouts. And he just slapped him and was like, stop it. And the kid just stopped. So he was like, I don't think. If I had a nickel in my household growing up, we could have made that documentary. I think she's possessed by the devil. Missing curfew. She sneaked.

Your dad goes, let me talk to the devil. I'll take care of it. Give me three minutes with the devil, okay? So anyway, it's very interesting. But then the brother, apparently, the devil gets stuck in the brother. And then the brother murders. Just a classic hometown story.

So anyway, I highly recommend. Okay. Then this one I didn't watch because I was too emotional. It's called Wildcat on Amazon. Okay. Where a war veteran was going through a really bad time and then...

He met a little tiger. And then him and the tiger become best friends. How do you know all of it if you didn't watch it? Just watch the preview. I watched the preview and I was like, I will cry during the whole thing. And Butter was like, we don't want to go through this right now. So if you want a feel-good thing, also then I'd have to buy a little tiger, which I think is illegal. This is kind of intense. And I think that you should watch it.

On Netflix. Have you seen Big Vape? I've seen the commercial. I haven't watched it. I watched the whole thing. It was really, really, really good. About Juul, right? Yes. Like the company. Yeah, it's about how these two guys at Stanford basically are smokers and wanted to come up with something that helped people get off smoking. But then is it like how they really were marketing it to kids? Well, it shows that like it took forever for this to become a company. They really...

They designed it like an iPhone, like sleek, and they were willing to design. And like it seemed okay, but whenever you're dealing with nicotine, like –

It's not fully healthy. It's one of the worst drugs ever. But they were saying how, like, it's so much better than cigarettes because it's the burning that's bad for your lungs. But then, like, basically the science is weird. And then big tobacco is getting involved. But then they get this marketing launch thing. And they get this guy who's just really good at doing lifestyle stuff. And all the kids are doing it. And then the parents are like, you have to stop smoking.

You have to do something because the kids are like dying. And then they're saying the kids aren't dying from Juul. They're dying from something else. And it's very gray area. And then there's adults being like, Juul saved my life because it was the only thing that got me stopped smoking. I don't know how people are doing it, like being parents. In this day and age. Which sounds so old of us to say, but like...

The thought of having a daughter and her having, like, an Instagram account and just, like, comparing herself or, like, yeah, like, going out and someone has a jewel and now all of a sudden your 13-year-old is, like, hooked on it because she puffed it four times. Like, I don't know how the moms are doing it. I know that we had MySpace and we had Facebook, but, like—

That stuff is like deleted. But we still grew up where like if something bad happened at school or something was traumatic and you went home, like that was it. You were done with it. You could like decompress. Yes. The cyberbullying is just insane. Yeah, kids don't have that. It's 24-7. But also like imagine your videos when you were 12 like being on TikTok. Yeah.

No, we lived in the era... Yeah, would you leave videos on their Facebook? Yes! Me and my friends in college would like... Stephanie sends me mine all the time. She still gets nervous. She's like, what am I going to do with that? No, me and my friend would just be insane, like...

What's up, bitch? Yeah, like, oh my God. Stuff that, it's crazy. Anyway. Remember web shots? Do you remember web shots? Is that OnlyFans? No, it was like, you would like post albums. It was like before Facebook. Oh. And you would like post albums and people, it was, it was crazy. That was for women in STEM. Okay, then we have Get Gotti.

I watched the preview, too. I think I'm going to watch that tonight. There are so many good quotes in it, and I wish I wrote them down, but it's like these mobsters, they call them wise guys. How no one's done a reboot of Growing Up Gaudi is beyond me because it shaped my entire existence, I would say. It was where I realized I loved Italian men. I was like, why is his hair like that? And then I was like, do I love blowouts? I think I love them. They would say the craziest stuff like, I went to get a pizza, next thing you know.

I killed him. And it was just crazy, like the craziest quotes from these guys. No, it sounds like New York City in the 80s was when we should have been like lived, but we didn't. It was, and the girls were like, yeah, we were just wearing all these minks. And like, I know there was a lot of drugs and people were dying, but like we were the

cool kids in New York. What is it with Italians and fur coats? She just was like, look, I was wearing my fur coats and people wanted to be me. The amount of vintage fur coats that I have from my grandma with her initials on the inside, I'm just like, what a fucking gangster. Like,

Are you kidding me? So there's most of it turns out to be just talking about bugging. Like every scene is a different way that they're trying to bug like a different club where they're based and stuff like that. Give the Instagram girlies who think their boyfriends are cheating on them four minutes. No.

Four minutes in that club. These FBI guys are like, we can't figure out what he's talking about. I'm like, just get one woman who can sense it from outside the apartment. The Swifties realized that Travis Kelsey's home screen was Taylor Swift from three quarters of a picture and a piece of hair. Is it really? Yeah, they were like, she's her home screen. I'd recognize those bangs anywhere.

I mean, we're too much. Anyway, then there's Pain Hustlers. Okay. That's a scripted thing. Is that with Emily Blunt? Yeah, and I just have a note. It's about this woman who's, like, really poor, and she, like, becomes a salesman or something. For, like, pharmaceutical drugs, yeah. This is my thing. If you're supposed to play a woman who's, like, going through a hard time, how do you have a full face of Botox and fillers?

Does Emily Blunt have a full face? Like, she looks great in the movie. She looks great. I don't know if she has a full face. I think she does. Yeah. But, like, some of these actresses, it's hard to play someone who looks... Maybe she got it, like, she didn't do it for six months, but you still look like someone who's been getting the greatest facials. She looks like she's in Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah, and you're like, you're supposed to be... And then all she did was, like, not brush her hair, and I'm like, this woman does not look like the character. Right. Like, you have... Everything is perfect on your face. Right. And not just, like, a girl next door beautiful. Like, this...

Like L.A. beautiful. You look Hollywood gorgeous and you're supposed to be playing someone who's poor and lives in West Virginia and is addicted to drugs. It was like when Lady Gaga played her role in Shallow where she couldn't move her face. Definitely not the name of the movie. What is the name of

A star is born. Can I tell you a really unpopular opinion? I fucking hated that movie. Everyone loved it. I was like, this is the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. And then everyone was like, can you believe he dies at the end? I was like, yeah, I could. I could have told you that in the fucking beginning. What are you talking about? It's just devastating. I was like, was it though? Was it? Wait, Lady Gaga's a good singer? Okay, finally, McGregor Forever.

I love an Irish man. You do? Irish men are fucking wild. We love the fighting industry. They love to fight. Yeah. He's like, look, I'm not going to do an Irish accent, but all I could do is fucking fight. As you did my whole life. All I want to do is fucking fight. I don't know shit, but I know about fighting. And he's like, all the Irish people are upset right now, but like, this...

little wild man yeah I mean he came from nothing and obviously he's problematic in a lot of ways and I actually had to close my eyes during most of it because I like I can't deal with the sprained ankle the breaking bones he broke his bone every three seconds the only fighter I acknowledge is the Fury family like that's those are my fighters the only fighter I acknowledge is Sylvester Stallone honestly same so have you watched anything

I, okay, I made my, my parents came for literally one night and I was like, oh my God, you have to watch Lessons in Chemistry. My dad stayed up till 4 a.m. watching all of the episodes and was so mad at me the next morning. He was like, it was so good. I couldn't stop watching. New episodes come out on Fridays. Are you sponsored by this? No, I just love it. I love the show so fucking much. Honestly, I'm so deep into Suits. Oh. I'm so deep into Suits. How's Meghan Markle in it?

She's good. I'm on season eight, so she's like not really in it. But I realized that if I was smarter, like if I didn't have the job that I have where I talk to you every week and just sound stupid. Burn bridges. Burn bridges.

I would want to be a lawyer. Like, I just think being a lawyer in New York City, I've just been watching too many suits. I feel like you would show up in the best fits where the judge would be like, I don't even know her argument, but she looks like she knows what's going on. I just think it's the best show ever. I trust her taste. You just go, do you trust my taste? I think. He's lying. Do you see what he put with those pants? His shoes don't match his belt. You're going to trust him? I don't think so. 2023? You're going to trust this man? No. No.

I just think I would have been a great lawyer had I had more reading comprehension. Isn't lawyering just all reading? All reading comprehension. And like highlighting stuff? Yeah.

I could have been like Barbie lawyer. But I just think. And your brother's a lawyer, right? My brother's a lawyer. But I just like the show puts it like they're just playing such mind games. And I love that shit. What if you go, look, I'm just, I'm the face of it. You guys do the work. I'll be the face. You give me the top lines. Yeah, like I want to firm and I want my last name to go first. But like I don't want to do anything. To Sorbo and Burner. 1-800-TALK-SHIT-GET-HIT.

That would be our slogan. Talk shit, get hit. The law firm of DeSorbo and Berner. Do you know what's so funny? When I went to the University of Wisconsin, my friend's dad was a famous lawyer in Milwaukee. And I didn't know what that meant. But then I turned on the TV. He's every commercial. So like I could see you on all the commercials. Like you're just a star in every commercial. Do you know Craig had one for a little in Charleston running? Can't run over. Go on.

And honestly, it's probably what a golf cart. What will probably make me marry that man? Because that was I was like, that's great marketing. That's amazing. He's like, I'm going to be on a billboard. Anyway, guys, thank you for getting with us. Giggling. Sound like gigging. Subscribe to our newsletter. We're obsessed with it right now. It's our only purpose.

And we have shows coming up. We're planning our fits. Yes. I'm so sick of foul fits. I have BravoCon this week, so next week I'll tell you all about it. And Craig and I have our pillow line. Once this is out, you'll be able to shop it. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. Yeah, it's cute. I mean, you're behind it. Of course it will be. And, yeah, we love you guys. We'll talk to you later. Bye. Bye.