Giggling about Trevor Wallace, brunettes, and blue balls 01:20:14

Muchísimo guau.

What's up, gigglers?

We're just going straight in because we have a man on the pod. So it's chaotic energy. It's scary. It's an honor to be the first girl female boss on this podcast. Thank you for having me. This is Trevor Wallace, who is a girl's girl. I'm one of the girls. He cares for- No, literally is a girl's girl. He cares for the girls. He's out here for the girls. He's a feminist icon. He likes cats. And men piss me off too. Yeah.

Everything they do is stupid. Honestly, you should have spun on. I saw a reflection, a shadow of my posture the other day. I was like, I wouldn't fuck. I would not fuck. Like, dude, it's bad. Like, my head is like leaning like this. Like, what am I leaning forward towards? But I feel like a girl will see that and I'll spiral for like three months and get like a whole new like workout regimen where a dude will just be like, yeah, I'm unfuckable and forget. I literally want to get Botox in my back.

Just so that, like, I look really good if you're having sex with me from the back. Wait, get Botox in the back? Yeah, like, you can just... Just put, like, a little Nintendo DS back there. Guys won't... They'll be like, fuck yeah, fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Like, my reflection. I never say won't fuck, though. I'm like, oh, my God, she's stunning. But, like, how much could she get better? Wow. No, my ex had really good lats, and I feel like I could just hold on to them and doggy. That might be a little much. Was your ex Michael? No, no, no, no. But she did CrossFit, and she had, like, calluses on her hands. Oh, hell yeah. I thought I was getting jerked off by my cousin. Wait.

Sorry. If you guys don't know Trevor, he is an incredible content creator, podcaster. He has a stand-up special coming out. November 14th. We love. And he has Stiff Socks with Michael Blaustein that we went on. Such a fun episode. His favorite. Yeah. He reminds me every week. All the time. You guys have a lot of porn stars on it. I didn't realize. We've had like five on. It's just like those are the episodes that do the best. Yeah, those are the ones I always see. So they did better than ours.

Cause Paige and I are like slutty from the mouth. That is a great slogan. Slutty from the mouth is great merch. Like you never know what's going to come out of my mouth. That's so true. And we give it out for free. You don't have to pay for it. Cause it's slutty from the mouth, not slutty in the mouth. Two separate meanings. Slutty from the mouth is a really good merch. Yeah. Like you will feel like you got fucked after hanging out with us for three minutes.

Fuck yeah. This is basically a threesome emotionally. An emotional threesome. Well, thanks for having me. You're welcome. You said you were thrift shopping. I was thrifting. You were thrifting in Maine. I went thrifting in Maine. I got... You like invited people on your story to thrift with you? I got so attacked. Dude, just like Google...

I have an app. I have a thrifting app. You do? There's a thrift app for New York City. But I went to Portland, Maine and I said I want to thrift. That feels like so unthrifty though. You think it'd be like you just saw like a QR code on the ground and like an app?

No, you wait for a pigeon to just be like, follow me, I got a deal. You just smell somebody smoking Winstons and you're like, oh! This might come as a complete shock to you guys, but I've never gone thrifting. So everyone kept saying, are you pranking Paige? Like, Paige is so mad right now. And I tried on all these fits, everyone's attacking me. And I'm like, imagine them styled. Like, imagine them with a bell. Like, imagine them with a moment. And yes, I am pranking Paige. Imagine them if I burst.

burnt them all, you know? Like, it's just so crazy. I have nothing against thrifting. Like, I'll thrift. I've just never been in the situation where someone's been like, come thrift with me or I've walked by and been like, I'll go into that shitty store. I always say thrifting is like online dating because you're like,

Like, why did no one want this stuff? Right. That's good. That's funny. Like, there's got to be something wrong with it. You're not worth that much. Yeah. And then you see something. And you're like, ooh, how did no one pick this? And then you put it on and it's like, it's itchy. He's an narcissist. You're like. He's really charming at first. And then you're like, I need to get out. Yeah.

You're texting your mom. You're Googling what is a narcissist. Did I get an STD from the sweater? Yes. Yes. So I'm excited to be here for fall, Paige.

Do you like Trevor's outfit? Corduroy. Sleeves are too short. I am into it. You know, I brought options. Actually, I noticed when you walked in your sneakers. Yeah. Yeah, they looked good. Good or bad? Blazers? I just wear blazers every day. I don't know. It's just like a right down the middle answer, you know? No, you look cool. When you come to New York, do you think like, ooh, I got to dress more like New York? You do. Not more so like New York, not like the fitted brim to the side. 9 p.m. right here. Another.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like New York now, it's very just like the fashion is so good. Take a shot for every time you see a girl with Adidas, you black out. Yeah. Everywhere. No, but I do feel like here you got to come with the better jokes and the better fits. Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, what it is is there's no cars out here. So when you leave the house, your outfit is everything. You're out. True. Like I can wear a shitty outfit, but your boy's got a Tesla. So it's like I'm in the middle ground. I love how you just dropped that for the gigglers. It's the cheapest thing.

I love the gigglers, by the way. I met one at my show. Nice lady. It's the cheapest Tesla they have. Trevor got his dick sucked by a giggler. My God, who did? Hey, she was more than a giggler that night. Gaggler. Aren't they just the nicest? Honestly,

Honestly, so nice. Such a sweet lady. Such a sweet lady. She's probably listening. Yeah. I miss you. I'm, yeah. Nice. Yeah, she came to my show. Text her back. Come on. I'm biased, but I think the Gigglers are so good looking and so successful and so smart. And they dress so well. They do. One time we were at a Giggly Squad show and they were all like doctors, lawyers. Engineers. We were just like wondering why. Mm-hmm.

It is funny. Like if I knew like a surgeon was listening to Giggly Squad, I'd be like, let's actually, I can't. While they're cutting somebody's body open. Oh my God. This bitch went thrifting. Do you know what four plus four stands for? Jeep Wrangler. Four by four. I got nothing. Oh, I actually believed him. I don't. What's four? What is four plus four? Four plus four means eight.

Like eight. Oh, God. That's our new thing. Wait, I had another really good Instagram caption today of all my outfits. What'd you do? Throwing fits. Right? Throwing fits. That's a podcast. That's a great podcast. For someone who can't like write a full paragraph. Or read. Your captions are so fucking good. Someone who can't even send a text, I'm going to be honest. So good. So fucking good. I just wanted to ask you that.

I have a... I had a great caption. I don't know where to put it, but it was... What was it? Shadi's... Fuck, what was it? Shadi must be from Dexter's lab because she got them DDs.

Dexter's lab? Yeah, if you watch the show Growing Up With The Sisters, Dee Dee. Dee Dee's cup size. Oh, is that what that is? He's such a giggler because that was so niche. Yeah. That was so niche. Also, I have just to make a point about jeans. Mm-hmm. Because it's getting cold out, which means we got to start pulling out our jeans. Right. And I pulled out some jeans, and my jeans didn't fit. Mm-hmm. I'm really vulnerable right now. It was like a sausage in a... It wasn't going in. Mm-hmm.

And everyone's so obsessed with like fitting into old jeans. And I'm like, these jeans are fucking disgusting. Yeah. I've never washed these jeans. Like all last. Does anyone wash jeans? I've never washed a jean. Why are we trying to fit into old jeans? Throw the smelly fucking old jeans away. They have no stretch to them. It's not my big ass. It's these old ass jeans. People are like, I need to fit into my jeans from when I was 18. There's mites in those jeans. Throw that shit away. Wait, did you hear that in Paris right now while everyone's there for Paris Fashion Week? There's a bed bug situation. And like.

Which I don't even get how they would figure that out. It's giving a fire festival for New York Fashion Week. Like all the fashion girlies are just like, everyone's talking about like having bed bugs. And I think that's just like. And they're all like, do bed bugs make you skinny? It's not the worst thing you get at Fashion Week.

You're like, are bed bugs the new Ozempic? It is. Itching and scratching. Why does part of me think it was like one of these model girlies who live in these model apartments in New York City that are just like, they sleep on like the floor. They brought the bed bugs. What are you going to do about the jean situation? Oh, I found a pair that fits me. Okay. Madewell. Amazing. Madewell, great brand. Do you...

Wash your jeans like how long do you take to watch your jeans usually when I like move apartments? Just watch everything no realistically not until I spill on them like I got some mustard and on a pair of jeans the other day like that's me too like not until there's a noticeable

Stain am I washing my jeans? Cuz once you wash it, it's not fitting me. They're not the same. It doesn't fit. It's not the same. My favorite is when you find a pair of jeans or any pants that you're like you've been neglecting for years and you put them on randomly one day you're like hold up I've had these this whole time. It's like when you find a song that was on Shelfie you're like where the fuck has this been my whole life? It's like that girl that DMs you every day. Hey Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor and then one day you're like you? You were the answer to all my problems. You were there the whole time. Exactly.

Also, do you know what happens to men? Sometimes they'll pee. Hold on. Yeah, it's true. Wait, they also don't... We want to get back to the game. Stop peeing already. Peeing takes too long. I don't know why I just thought about this the other day, but I was thinking about guys peeing and how they don't...

We don't. They don't ever have to like wipe. Like they don't wipe when they pee. No, they like fling it? Yeah, like they don't have to. They fling it around. That's what boxers are there for. And I just find that to be... Oh, if they don't wear boxers, then it gets on their pants. Pants. And then do you wash it after that? The pants? No, I wear boxers. Who's raw dogging denim? That's insane. What, are you Chuck Norris? I knew a guy. I know a guy. I know a guy. I know a guy who wears no underwear under... Because you never know when you're going to whip it out. What?

In this economy? And I always think like, okay, when you're putting pants on and then it has a zipper, how often are you thinking like, ooh, don't zip my dick? Because I feel like I think about it every day. Well, my dick is down by my ankles, so I don't. No, I mean, pretty, well, that's why boxers, you never have to think about that. Boxers are just like. You don't wear boxer briefs? Yeah, the ones that hug your legs. Why are you smiling? You thought you got me for a second. It is funny to think about, guys.

about them in their underwear and like what is their underwear of choice? Yeah, when do men go from boxers to boxer briefs? 'Cause I feel like it's like a moment. Yeah, it's like an age thing. I think the locker room in high school really like shapes who you are. Like you see somebody using Axe body spray, you're like, "Alright, I gotta use Axe body spray." Oh, my brother was fucking hot boxing me in that shit. It was like, um, Chernobyl in my fucking house. Wait, so when you're in high school and like the first time you're in a locker room, like did you play sports in high school? No.

You weren't like- I thought about it, but no. I like would see the guys. I tried out for the golf team, but as a junior and they drafted, scouted. I don't fucking know. They got two freshman twins. Okay. And they're like, they have more potential to grow than you. Okay. So they were like, fuck off, Trevor. Yeah, but what are they doing now? Dude, they're not talking about boxers and Bushwick. I'll tell you how much-

Wait, because I remember when guys were wearing boxers and they would show it on the top of their pants. Like, that was very New York. Yeah. He's wearing boxers. And then one day they all showed up in their gray boxer briefs. And I'm like, when did you become a Calvin Klein model? When did you transition? Yeah, probably high school, I think. At some point like that. Did you feel like a new man? Well, yeah, it feels great. You feel like if somebody were to pants me right now, good. My thing is like...

Because in high school, like, when girls are changing, it's not like we, like, look at each other's boobs and are like, oh, my God, your boobs are way big. I mean, maybe. I just feel like it's more of a moment for guys in high school when they, like, see each other's dicks. Like, is that when you know if you have a big dick or not? And then does that, like, shape who you are? It doesn't shape who you are. It shapes how you respect a man, though. Okay.

Okay, like you know Ronnie's fucking packing. Yeah, man. Wait, you can cut me in line That's like the one guy in the group who never says anything funny, but they all fuck with him. Yeah, it means he's packing. Yeah, true. Sometimes it's a gun I feel like if I was a guy I would get bad luck and I'd have a huge dick, but I'd be a grower So every guy I'd meet I'd be like yo, I'm not turned on right now, but like I'm huge when I get turned on

Like, I feel bad for those guys. I just love your, like, boy, like, when you're, like, imitating a boy, like, how you... I have one arm stuck. Oh, yeah, go like this. Like, they can't really stand up. I feel like I have the tiniest little pee-pee, but then I... You know?

Growers is a thing. Yeah. I don't understand the guys that are just showers. You can't judge a guy. They just up? Like there's no grow? They're just wah? Yeah. They just wake up in the morning. I love how we have a guy in the pod and the whole time we're just like, what are penises? What are they made of? I'll tell you everything. What's it like just walking around with one? Pretty cool. Imagine having something winging back and forth all the time. Swinging. Swinging. Okay. I don't know what guys you're hanging out with in the NBA, but I don't know about a swing, but there's a little bit of a seesaw in there.

Yeah, I don't know. But girls are wearing boxers as fashion now. New York. Sometimes I wear them to bed. No, but I'm saying out. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. New York fashion is great. It's like a tuxedo jacket and boxers. Yeah, the girls are definitely dressing different than the L.A. girls. Well, the L.A. girls dress after New York girls. Yeah. New York's a trendsetter. L.A. is literally just like, huh, New York's whatever. And then we're just watching you guys through TikTok. Yeah.

What did Hailey Bieber wear today? How long have you lived in L.A.? Like seven years. I kind of like it here. Really? Look at that itch. Wow. There's a lot of hot women out here. L.A., dude, the community is crazy. It's just, it's a totally different vibe of girl. Well, just that and everything. Just walking around. At a park, there's a community. You go to a park in L.A., you're either there for pedophilia or take your, like, it's just not the vibes in L.A. Like, why would you go to a park? Are you blondes or brunettes? Brunettes. Wow.

Obviously, he's on a call. Burnett, Italian. Paige hates... Sorry, I didn't mean to make eye contact. Mr. Bishop, I'm sorry. Paige hates buns. No, I don't.

I don't hate them. I think they're lovely. I think they're so nice. This sounds like you love them. I'd never be seen with one. No, I just, I fully think, like, we can talk about it even with, like, Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. I think that if I date a guy and I look at his ex-girlfriends and they're all blonde and then all of a sudden he's dating me. Yeah, what is that about? What is that about? Yeah, what is that? Because in my head, I'm like, you don't like me. Like, you're into blondes. Oh, okay.

Interesting. So do you feel like... But maybe his taste buds switched. Oh, like when you stop taking your birth control and you're attracted to new men. Is that a thing? Wait, that's... Apparently. It's so true. If you stop taking your birth control, your sense of smell changes. So you might not be attracted to who you're with's natural pheromones once you get off your birth control. But you're more feral than ever. Yeah. I don't really know how birth control works. I think it's a conspiracy theory.

Interesting thought. We got in trouble because we told everyone to get off their birth control. No, no, no, no, no. And people started messaging us like, what do we do next? We're like, we don't know. Go to a doctor, you idiot. We were just riffing. We still want it.

But what does that mean if a guy just switches over to brunettes? Can he have that change of heart? Like, I hated olives growing up. And then one day I was like, yo, these are fucking out here. That's how you know you're an adult when you start fucking with olives. I think maybe if a guy's, like, so hung up on his ex, he'll try, who's a brunette, he'll try a blonde. But, like, I'm also, I have a type. Some people don't have types. Or some people just like souls, which is, like, gay. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm attracted to your soul. It just sounds like a horny guy just trying to fuck. Yeah, and he says it only on the first date. If anyone ever said to me, like, I'm... You just want me for your body. I don't even know if you had one of those. Your aura's got a fat ass. So everyone's... No, but everyone's talking about Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift, and I just think if you look at Travis Kelsey's ex-girlfriends... What does she look like? Do you guys have a photo? They're all...

Brunettes. Yeah, don't sing folklore and they don't run around in cowboy boots and like flowy dresses. I think Taylor Swift is such a feminist though because you know how many hours we're forced occasionally to listen to guys play guitar and just like say weird lyrics they made up. Is that real? Like after a date he's just playing guitar. Yeah. It's happened like in my life it's happened twice to me.

what do you do during that? You don't know what to do with your hands. Yeah, you don't know. Do you clap? When you do this, you go, ah, thumbs down. And then it's like, if you know the song, do you sing along? Is this, is this everyone's involved? And then also,

- What's fucked up is he'll be singing something, he's like, "I wrote this song." And you're like, if you wrote this song, you clearly wrote it about someone else, and you're now singing this to me, you just met me, and you're like, "The beautiful eyes, your almond eyes." - We went to Costa Rica. Look, we never went. We never went to Costa Rica. Who did you take to Costa Rica?

But now Taylor can reverse and sit Travis Kelsey down after a long game. He's tired. Sit down and she goes, I'm working on a new riff right now. And she's like, when I saw you in the end zone, I knew what you were playing, playing with my heart. Wait. Okay. Somebody had time on the flight in.

Astonishing. I feel like there is the same beat in all the songs. Don't you feel like her dating NFL is kind of lower class for her? Travis Kelsey's the man, but I feel like her dipping into that is like, I feel like that's below her pay grade. It's fun for her, but I 100% agree with you. Like, I dated a tight end at Wisconsin who, Travis Kelsey played 12 more years of football than this man. And this man that I dated in college had so many concussions, he would just like,

Space out. Space out. Mitch McConnell, that bitch. Like he's I would honestly love that in a partner.

Like if someone I could just be like. It's not a bad trait you can blame it on. Maybe go sit down. Honey I have CTE leave me alone. Your brain's not working. CTE is like a real thing and people will get mad like don't make fun of CTE. Yeah. I did CTE charity. You're bringing awareness. I taught this man how to race. I raised awareness. Yeah. And it really is like I'll never put my kid in football. Yeah. My unborn child is not playing football. You couldn't play football because you didn't make the team. Well my build is not great. I could totally.

I could totally see you as one of these American golfers, though. I tried. Oh, I played football in sixth grade. They made me a wide receiver, and they only would run the ball. So, if that says anything. They threw it to me, like, twice. And I was like, what are you guys doing? Stop, stop, stop. We don't really know what that means. Are you playing fantasy? No. I don't really like sports. Just a waste of time. He's such a girl's girl. You're such a girl's girl. You know what? I just care about my career and finding love. Fuck sports. No, I literally, I like, like, going to events. Great. Went to a Mets game. So fun. Went to a Wisconsin game. Go Badgers. Go Badgers.

When they do the jumping thing? Jump around. So I fucked Bucky, the one who does the push-ups. And you learned something new every day. Wait, wait, wait. Did he keep the mask on? He asked once, and I'm like, I'm not a fucking story for you to tell your friends about. I don't know.

So I didn't. Because I don't know. You should have wore it. Wait, what a line. I'm not a story for you to tell your friends about. You're dropping some gems today. Both of you guys are. I feel like tell everyone about me. Tell them all. No, I just hang out with guys too much that you know when they're like, yo, this bitch, I fucked you with my bucky hat on. And I don't want to be that girl. Mm-hmm.

Like, I'll fuck you with the Bucky hat on. Turn around. Imagine you're just pregnant with the head. How about you jump around? In the middle of the night, I just pop behind the bed with the Bucky hat. I was going to make a sound for a badger, but I don't know what sound they make. Go for it. Right?

Pretty on brand. Pretty good. That's so cool. Did people on campus know that he was the guy? So they pretend that they're like Batman and they don't, they like can't tell people that they're Bucky. It's the craziest thing. I don't get it though. Why? Because it's this, it's this whole like,

People can't know they're Bucky because it takes away from the mystery of it. Every school is like that or just specific? Every school. Really? And there's like eight Bucky's because there will be tons of events that Bucky has to go to. Like Bucky's booked and busy. Oh, that's like how Marshmello is. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. The DJ. I don't know.

And they have to rotate games because they do so many push-ups. Whenever they do a touchdown, he gets raised on the stage and does push-ups. But I knew who Bucky was because I was on the tennis team and we practiced at 7 a.m. with the cheerleaders. The Bucky's would work out with the cheerleaders. They would do jogging or whatever. So I knew those guys. And after being with the football player... So all the Bucky's were really just male cheerleaders? Yeah.

Yes, but they were like goofy, funny. They were like the guys, like you would have been a great Bucky. Thank you. But like they would be so hungover with these like

huge heavy outfits on. That is nightmare. Could you imagine the sweat inside there? No, I know. The smell. But I would see a Bucky and I wouldn't know if it was like my Bucky. So I would like kind of like cozy up to him and I would like look at him and like throwing it like bird food. Hey Bucky, it's me. And I'd be like looking because you can't they can't talk like they'll get fired. It's like very strict. And they'd be like, okay. Yeah, fire. Yeah, that seems really intense. I think some of them are scholarships.

Oh, wow. That's so funny. I mean, I'm like, they literally pretend they're Batman, and I'm like, you have an ice cream social at 12. Like, tell me where you are and what you're doing. Right, you're not, like, fighting crime on college campus. Yeah, so, like, I've always been a celebrity chaser. Yeah, you've been a cloud chaser for the longest. I've been a cloud chaser. Actually...

I put this deep dark in my memory. I also made out with another Bucky. You whore. I was running train on Bucky. College mascots. I thought it was you, babe. I always thought the college mascots too were girls.

Cuz they're so tiny. Mascots are for girls. No, they're big. Some of them are fucking hot. You do a lot of college gigs. When I go to the college gigs, I'm like, is your mascot hot? There was like a bear cat once and the bear cat came out six five huge shoulders. What is a bear cat? I don't fucking know, but I'll climb that bear cat. Fucking alpha. It's like a wombat. What is that? Is it real? I don't know. Is that real? A bear cat sounds cool. Is that you, Vae?

I don't know. I've done it myself. I'll just pick a thing in a bowl and be like, where are the Spartans? All right. Oh, some of the wild, some of them are embarrassing, the names. Yeah. I have nothing else to add. Yeah, I think Tulane University is like the waves or something. Something crazy. University of Maine was a black bear called Bananas. And I said, what drunk college kid came up with the name of this mascot? Bananas. I don't like it.

It's cute. I didn't go to a college where it was like... There was a mascot? No, I think we had a mascot. I think it was like a knight. But it wasn't like... Where'd you go to school at? In Albany. So it wasn't like... I thought you weren't even saying the name of the school. They don't deserve the clout. No free clout on Giga Squad. They're gonna bleep my name. This is blank walls. St. Rose, we were the Golden Knights. But like it wasn't like a college where like everyone knew the mascot or it was like we all went to like games. Yeah. Honestly, I didn't talk to anyone. You didn't go to school. No, I didn't. So Trevor...

With New York and L.A., we love asking these very general questions. What is the biggest difference between New York and L.A. girlies? I think they're just like they... How tight their pussies are? You know, I'm always curious. There's so much walking around. How is the hygiene out here? Can't be great. Oh, like we're sweaty. Yeah, you go home on the subway, you're in a metal tube all day. Go down on me. No. Yeah. I will get tetanitis. No, I get that. I totally...

I totally understand that. I've thought about it. I thought Trevor doesn't know showers exist. I know, but like, that stops the flow. The hookup is like, you're back, you're making out. Okay, well, also to hook up in LA, you have to drive four hours. In New York, you just got to go in a bodega. That is true. Right. That is true. I live like 30 minutes outside of the city, and you never realize how long 30 minutes is until you're like having a conversation with a girl you just met, and you're like, so, there's a cold stone off that exit. She's like,

I don't care. And you're like looking at the, God, 30 minutes in an Uber is crazy. Like are you on dating apps? I just put on Hinge because I was on a Raya. Ick, gross, I get it. I applied for Raya like a year ago and never got on. So then I got on Hinge, but now I feel like a loser on Hinge, honestly, because like I get messages being like, LOL, there's no way this is the real account. And it's funny that they think that, but it's also sad that it is just me being like, just me. You ever get catfished by the original guy?

So I think I'm going to delete it. It's fucking sad. It's stupid. So when like you open it in New York, is it, are the girls way different? I haven't even said it. I like don't like being on that app. It doesn't make me like happy at all. But I think.

But I haven't said it for New York. I think I just walk around and hope they're like, oh my God, is that Trevor? Just a bunch of guys be like, yo, dawg. Yeah, it could happen. Yeah. See, when Paige and I get recognized by guys, I go, no. Ew. You're not my demo. I don't feel comfortable. It's not for them. I did not ask for this. What if they have a girlfriend who loves you guys? That's what it is. Then we wait to listen. But no, but when it's just, I've recently started to get like just,

random guys be like, Hannah Burner. And I was like, a rogue man? I'm calling the police. No, those are good. You need guys like that at your show to buy Michelob. No, because I don't think he, I don't, I think like the algorithm got like, there was a glitch. Yeah, something got messed up. Oh, no. No, I don't really ever, I never get DMs from guys. What? Yeah. I've sent like 12 today. Like a straight, single, like rogue man. Never. No, just to really prove,

That's it. Hold on. Not for me, huh? He DM'd you? It had to have been a voice memo. Like, hey, girly. Imagine. No, he just takes whatever he's drinking. He goes...

That was ASMR. That was V. I think you're about to have a vagina. Oh, nice. I also think just New York girls, like, they just, they got like that, they got the blue steel going. They're always on like runway face, you know? True. They have somewhere to be. Yes. And their headphones on. I call it my stank face. And they're just. Yeah, you know how you don't approach anybody at like the gym? Like that's kind of an overall message. I feel like the same way on the New York streets. Like people catcall and I'm like, how?

She's gonna hear you through her Apple headphones? No, but we have a stank face because we've had enough crazy people that you accidentally make eye contact with that you have a bad experience. I did it today. I was yelling at a fanny pack on us. I said, shut the fuck up. What are you mad about? Your fashion senses? Literally a fanny pack yelling at this guy.

No, I actually walk around with permanent like someone farted face so that if someone talks to me. I don't even, I feel like that's just like my face naturally, so I don't really try, but I do, I don't make eye contact with anyone on the street. That's a number one rule. Even if you're talking to me. Really? Yeah.

I'll get a chopped cheese. So are you guys not doing subways anymore? You guys are at that level? Are you only doing subways, Ubers? Okay, we know the answer right here. Uber black one block to the bodega. I'm not subwaying or thrifting. Okay, there we go. No, can you just only Uber black XL blade? Of course.

I like a lot of leg room. We get into fights when we're on the road because I'll order an Uber. Yeah. And she'll be like, what the fuck is this? It's a Corolla. It comes down. All the windows are down. They're like, why don't you put your seven suitcases in this Prius? No, I feel you. I'd rather die. If you guys follow me on Instagram,

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I, as a female comic, as a woman in the arts, I can't walk to venues, so I have to call Ubers even for like a three-minute Uber. I had the craziest Uber ride. Recently? Yesterday. Okay. Actually, I'm going to play it. Play it? Like you videoed it? I had to record it. So like, if you don't have litter of them, like you'll have to pay like $700 a kitten. $700 a kitten? Yeah.

That was you? That's crazy. No, that's my opener, Gabby. I think I found him. What do you mean you found him? I know where he is in the trailer park now. Trailer park. Where is this? Main. Okay. So that I can... Because, like, oh, well, if you're going to take your father's side in a divorce, then... No. Then we're going to get a divorce? No. Same combo? He's a 39-year-old man complaining about his parents' divorce. This is very dramatic. His parents? I have a very dramatic life. Oh.

I don't like that. I love this guy. This is within three minutes of sitting down. He just starts talking about this. So I'm texting Gabby and I'm like, we're going to get skinned and die. And then he breeds cats. Where? Did he want to show you? Where?

No, I was trying to get out and we walked and it was like a disco one. Like it had lights. Oh, the disco one? Yeah. I took one of those in the day once. It's very sad. Yeah, it is. It feels like you're in a strip club in the daytime. You feel like you're relapsing even though you're like, I should take the subway. Just put on nightshades. Exactly. Yeah. I did make a mistake in Canada because I can't drive.

DUI? No, I... It expired and I also shouldn't have gotten it in the first place. Maybe you should start telling people like... It's cooler. DUI. Because you also have a DUI vibe. But like, DUIs are sick. Oh, I'm sorry. You partied and you're like, let me whip... Yeah, not a DWI. Yeah, let me whip the Chevy Silverado home. You're not a horrible person. No. Just a...

DUI. Boating. Are they not the same thing? BUI. No. Oh, like driving a golf cart? No, you say boats. Rich. Wait, DWI and DUI are different. Which one's the president? DUI.

I had to get a car service to go from Toronto to Buffalo to Toronto. Because you can't get an Uber because you have to cross the border. So I prepaid this guy. So he gets to the place. It was like a two-hour trip. And I'm like, I have to tip this guy. And I had some cash from last time I was in Canada. I kept it. Canadian cash. I was like, I can't. I need to keep it.

And I forgot, you know, in that moment you panic, I'm like, I should tip the guy. I don't know how much a Canadian dollar is. And in my head, I thought it was like pesos. I just gave him an $100 Canadian bill. And I walked away. I'm like, that's like $6. This is like pesos, right? Yeah, he's like, thank you. It's like the best tip you've ever gotten. I thought it was like Canadian pesos. Thank you.

here's my debit card pin like debit card pin here you go no i get so nervous when it comes to tip time because like god forbid you don't give enough i went to a place i went to a place last night it was like some jazz bar out here and it's on the bottom it's like encourage to tip the the the musicians they walk around like i had a bucket and a venmo like his qr code and he's holding it and i was like uh and i was looking through my wallet and hoping he'd just be like okay all right taking too long but he just stood there and was like this and i was like sir i don't and now what

Like Venmo thing it's like I'm lying and I had a cover charge. I'm taking it, I'm lying. But it also had a Like I had a cover charge to get in so he was just like going around person to person just holding in my face That's my thing cuz I understand tipping people when it's like a one-on-one experience But like for example, we're not tipping our producer after. What's a one-on-one experience? Prostitution

So they have like a they are good. New York's known for good rub and tugs in the city. What's your opinion on rub and tugs?

I got one in college once. I bombed a final, rode my bike to a rub and tug, got jerked off at 4 p.m., rode home the happiest I've ever been on a bicycle. Question for you, because I had a girlfriend who just recently went to get a massage and ended up, like, getting her boobs. I told this on the pod, didn't I? No. I didn't tell this story on the pod. Absolutely not. Oh, my God. You're exactly like Michael. He told a story. I've told you this, right? Never. Literally, it'll be the craziest story ever. I have so many friends, and I'm just, I tell, you know.

Okay, so one of my girlfriends, she made a TikTok about it. She went to her, like, she lives in Miami. She went to, like, her normal massage place, whatever. But she came from, like, a workout. So she wasn't wearing, I think, underwear underneath her, like, leggings or whatever. Sometimes we do that, girls. No undies? No undies. UTI. But if I haven't shaved, the hairs are literally coming out of the leggings. No.

Like spiking out like a chia pet. Nobody talks about that. Nobody talks about that niche moment where you're like... But if you know that, do you try to... And sorry if this is too much. Do you try to pick like some Spanx or something? Or leggings that are that color? Black leggings. Black leggings. No one would know about us. You always... It's like right when you're like...

Too late to change that you realize that your hair's sticking out. They're just like, fuck it. Yeah. Okay, so she's laying down. She has no, she's naked, but she's under the sheet. And usually she has underwear on when she's under the sheet, but this time she didn't have it on. Is this just a Pornhub video that you watch? Yeah, I've seen this video you posted. TikTok? Yeah, okay. Honestly, one of the hottest blonde girls I've ever seen in my life, too. Oh, you like blondes. That's cool. See, I do. Oh. But I, because, but girls. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Not blonde guys. Ah.

Okay, anyway, where was I? She's naked, Miami, porn hug. I'm just doing a man's job in interrupting women. So she's getting fucked. Matching. Matching. The nails are matching the pop. That's crazy. Oh, red, red. Wow. We should go on a date. Okay. So she goes... She goes...

She's laying there, right? And she's like doing her massage. And then all of a sudden the lady like pulls the sheet down and starts like rubbing her boobs. And she starts laughing. Like her boobs or her nipples are out? Nipples are out. I've never had my nipples out. I don't know what way. But they were out. I wasn't there, but they're out. And so she starts laughing. And then the lady like kind of stops. And she's like, I don't know if because I didn't wear underwear, if that was a sign of. Oh.

I'm here for whatever. Okay, so you should, your nipples should never be out. Also, do you ever like, do you ever put on a shirt and the nipple, one nipple's up and one's low just because it's like kind of pressed?

No, I'm like dainty. I have a small little. See, so my friends will literally be like, one nipple is behind you. You got like lazy eye nips? Normally they're here. But like if you put a shirt type away, sometimes it'll just get like now it's here. I've never even experienced boob sweat.

Oh, I'm feeling it right now. But like, humble brag. Um, no, that's insane. I've always been jealous about the stuff you can put in there. Like when girls just whip their phone out of their tit. I'm like, God, you're so cool. So protective, too. Because you guys have pockets and we never get pockets. Oh, that's true. But I have pockets. I'm like, these suck. Do you know what's fucked up? And I saw a meme about this. Why do baby outfits have pockets?

What are they putting in there? Oh, that's good. What do they need to fit? What are you hiding? A bunch of Cheerios, I imagine. What are you saving for later? What are you bringing to the crib? Wait, okay, so we didn't finish. What are babies bringing to the table in general? Babies make everything about themselves. I'm so annoyed at babies. So when you went to get your rubbing tug because you failed your final, when you get up to the desk, do you have to say like,

I'm here for a rub. Like, how did they know that you're down to get your dick touched? My shirt was off when I walked in. I said, you know what the fuck is going on? You know what the fuck is up. I was locked and loaded, dick out. No, I, my friend told me about it because we had this like fraternity like Facebook page years ago and somebody posted about it and I was like,

Wait, that sounds so boyish. It's the most boyish. Just that story in general. Your fraternity Facebook page. Yeah. Posting about Robin Tug. Yeah, so then I went to that guy's room. Hey, he rubbed me off. No, I went to that guy's room and I was like, wait, is this real? He's like, yeah, it's on this street. You go there. And then it's like, it's very like, it's like, don't ask don't, what is it? Don't ask don't tell. You guys both said that really good. Is that a military thing? It's about being gay. Oh, wait, wait.

Hold on. It was a guy that did it. If you say something, say something. Yes. So I walk in, there's a big guy with a beard and he's like, sit down. I was like, I'm standing up. Yeah.

No, I went in there and then after I turned over, they kind of like rubbing my tits, right? I'm on my back. And then she goes, okay, you can put your clothes on. I go, what about the, is there a full experience? This is a 22-year-old Trevor, like so nervous. I was like, is there a full? No, this makes me so nervous. Full experience. And then she went like this, like a little eye touch, right? A little eye rise. And she goes, that's 80 extra dollars. It was 80 for the massage, 80 for the oil.

And she let me grab her tits. She grabbed my hand and put it through. Massive joke. She grabbed my hand. A little frail. I have small boy hands. It looks like I'm rock climbing every time I touch tits. So he took my hand and put it in her...

Wait, I've never heard of that. On tip. I've never heard of that. Yeah, well, I was laying there like this. Like, I was just dunking. She must have liked you because I've never heard of you being able to touch that. She grabbed my hand and did it for me. I think men have been lying to me, and I'm shaking, screaming, crying, throwing up because they told me it's always an ugly woman. They told me it's always an old, ugly woman. Well. That's what they told me. You got lied to, yeah. I loved her aura. How about that? Just attracted to her.

- They said, well like I know that guys have gotten it where it's an old lady but she's like incredible. Like she knows exactly like something to touch in their butthole and she like does a couple things. - Like a bop it? - Yeah, like exactly. - No, I mean she-- - Like it's very regimented and they just know what to do and the guy comes.

Do you come, this is like so intense, but like, do you come in her hand or does she do it on, like, does she wipe you off? She did. So you guys are dating? I think so. I don't remember, but I will say like probably one of the best handles of my life because they have so many oils there. This is so embarrassing because recently...

I think Des like hadn't showered or something. And he was like, don't give me a blowjob. Like I haven't showered, which is like so respectful. And then he was like, I was looking at him and he was kind of like handjob. And I was like, I don't, I'm sorry. I don't give you handjobs. I don't mind a handjob.

I'm like a very competitive person. If I'm gonna do it, I wanna be Division One. - You're gonna rip it off. - As in, I know I'm not gonna do it as well as you. I don't wanna play the game. - Smart. - I don't wanna play. I said, you can do it. - See, I'm a sleepy, sleepy girl. I'm so lazy. - Well, also, if I had fingers like yours.

I don't even have fingers. I have one palm. Do you take the rings off for a handy? That's what I was wondering. Oh, my wedding ring? Or any ring. You take your rings off? Yeah. Well, that's also like the equivalent of like putting your hair in a ponytail for a blowjob. I also don't put my hair back before a blowjob. Whoa. You're out here just- I'm like Tarzan. Pinting the good fight. That's-

Terrifying. You whip to one side. Wearing rings during a handjob is like having braces, giving a blowjob. I'm not taking my... Also, I'm not giving handjobs. So maybe that's how we got here. But like for a blowjob, you'll use your hands. Right. But I think they like a little cold. The ring? Mm. Yeah.

I mean, not the shredded diamond part. But rings are like the braces of fingers. Right, that's what I'm saying. Wait, so it's like you're about to get in a fight in middle school. You start taking off your earrings. Yeah, the hoops. Hold on, hold my shit. I think the more a girl does before giving head, the hotter. She's like tying up shoelaces, drinking a Propel back there. I'm just putting eye black on.

Yeah, exactly the more you do before I could do this guys are so simple to impress like you crack a knuckle before handy We're like all my bucky hat and all this goes for a head on Real Housewives of New York I'm not watching but I saw a clip where the girl was like you don't even have to suck his dick You just have to pretend that it's like really you just have to gag on it Yeah, but I feel like they'll like that but like you got it You just have to make a lot of sounds and like that you're like really like, you know, you're really doing it

Just fight for your life. And he's like, and then you go, and scene. And scene is funny. A little like a courtesy bow after is hilarious. You're sweating, you're crying. Yeah. Then it's fucked up because if you actually go so hard that you puke on his dick, then the relationship is over.

I like to. It's a thin line. I like to. Oh, you'd like if. Of course, because we're so done. We make it a compliment about ourselves. I have a whole like standard bit. Like anything you do in a sexual act that we think is from us. Yeah. So if you throw up, it's not the fact that you're hung over. Like if I jerk myself off, you're like, she was thinking of me. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I get it. So like if you if I threw up, you'd be like, oh, it's because my dick is so. Exactly. My back hurts because I'm 32. He'll be like, yeah, threw it back. Like you take a sip of water after sex. And I'm like, she's dehydrated. All for me. Hydrate up for the next round. I get that. I have a rub and tug story from Andrew Collin that I have to tell. Do you know Andrew Collin? Yeah.

He was featuring for me on the road and we were in a four-hour car ride, so it got to this point. We were talking about rub and tugs. He said that he goes into a place and this girl is giving him a massage and finally he's like, can we? She goes, hold on one second. Goes out, brings someone else in, and he realized it was like, you know when a waiter has a waiter in training? It was like one of her first days. So the other woman basically was like, okay. I would have liked that. There's no chemistry. Wait.

Wait, so there's two of them in there? So she basically goes, this is what you're going to do. You're going to take this. I'm back in. And she starts explaining it and then steps back and watches the lady do it to him. I'm like, at least film this or something. Don't watch. Wait, that's so crazy. And it makes me laugh so hard because you know the waiter in training, that shit is so funny because...

You're just asking people like, you know that waiter's like, I could do this on my own, but thank you for being here. She's like, I've given a fucking handjob before. How do you think I got here? It's not like I left. These rings ain't from marriage. Handjob queen over here. And imagine Andrew's just like sitting there like, oh my God. Okay, so was that the only rub and tug you've had is in college? Yeah, I did go to Amsterdam and you can fill in the blanks there. Yeah. You went thrifting? Yeah.

I heard there's good thrift shops in Amsterdam. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You can full on just like have sex because it's not illegal, right? Correct. I'm going to say something so fucking girly right now, but like. So off-brand. I just like the only time I want to fuck a guy is if I've like made up a whole story in my head that like he's so in love with me. I don't think that's girly. I don't get off. I think you're like a sociopath. Like guys.

Narcissist no, but like a guy what you know like those pancakes and like have holes in them a guy would fuck a pancake and be Like those fucking awesome. What are the pancakes that have holes in them? I don't know Pancakes holes in them. You mean just like air bubbles. Oh Sorry, I had to decipher it for you. No no no I Listen you give me a four loco and a McDonald's breakfast. We're doing work. It doesn't get me like I

Like a lot of also with like random sex. It's like I know that I can make myself come better than this random guy's probably made me come. And I know he's not in love with me. So I'm just not into that kind of stuff. Right. That's why like girl it's not like common for a girl to go to a rub and tug because like we need to be. There's no connection. Yeah. We can't just come. Imagine what would a girl's strip club be like our dream kind of strip club. Like a lot of guys who are just like.

Giving us their money. It's really reverse. The opposite. They throw money at you. We'll pay you to look at us and we're like, we're done looking at you. I mean, if it was reverse for rub and tugs, if a guy just had a vibrator and held it on us and didn't do anything else, like held it and then stared. No, he has to like give a speech of why I'm his favorite client he's ever met first.

I've never seen someone with as beautiful brown hair as you. You're so smart. He's just holding it. You're so smart. You're so funny. Everyone wants to be you. You dress so well. I'd be like, okay, I came. You have a really good grid on Instagram. The aesthetic is really nice. And you really have good shopping taste. And I like your haircut.

Did you do something different with your eyebrows? Because they look so much better than the last girl who was in here. Meanwhile, there's a gun to the back of his head. Just like, don't fuck that word up. How are you reading? That was very hostage-y. You are so funny. I love Giggly Squad. Are blue balls real? Yeah, but I think...

Yeah, what is that? It's... I don't know, but, like, every guy's like, I just need to go home and get it out myself. Well, you just have to jerk off. Right, but, like, there couldn't become... There's nothing that can get in between a man and his blue balls after he has it. It's like, if you got blue balls, like, in your library... It's like when it's like, don't think about a red car. Yeah, you will get it out. That's, like, the only priority in your head. See, I thought blue balls were fake until recently. I was on the plane, and I was... Hold on.

It's not going where you think it's going. I was just on the plane and I was like so excited to like go home. Everything was ready. I like had my apps downloaded. I was playing crossword puzzles, whatever I was doing. And then they were like, we're actually not leaving for another hour.

You got blue balls. And I was like, that's annoying. And then they fucking de-planed and I started crying and called my mom and I was like, this is what blue balls is. That's what blue balls feels like. You're promised something and then you don't get it. Blue balls feels like you got the wind knocked out of you but in your balls. Like it feels like you got punched in the stomach but like it's a pain. So it's, you're about to come, you're about to come and then for whatever reason you just don't. And then her boyfriend comes home and you're like, I gotta go.

And then that's- Yeah, you just- either you're hooking up or you're like kinda like a lot of like touching or rubbing and then it doesn't lead to anything. It's like every like first date. Like every first date, you know, like if that's where you get to hooking up, then you just leave. Yeah. I was guilty of that 'cause- Locked and loaded. I didn't wanna- I liked the game. Like I liked the chatty. I liked the "mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm" and then you get home and then like you start kissing him and be like "mm, I don't- I'm not really into this." Then they're like "ooh! Ooh!" Oh, okay. "Ooh!"

I tell them so much blue ball shit. No, they do make that noise a lot. Yeah, they're like, "Ugh!" That is probably the noise our brains are making during blue balls. You turn into a caveman, you're like, "Penis touch now, go." They stop making eye contact, they're just... Ugh. It's like, "Does your bathroom door lock?" But I'm fine with being like, "Go jerk off in another room," and then like... I was just gonna say, where's the weirdest place you've ever jerked off? Taco Bell bathroom. Taco Bell? Freshman year. Was it before you ate or after?

Oh, that's a great question. I don't even think we were eating. We were just in high school and we were bored. We were just hanging out talking about it. My friend's like, I bet you can't jerk off right now. Broad day at 4 p.m. Into a urinal. See, I want to get to the point with women where that's what we do. Like, we're at a tickle bar and I go, Paige, I bet you can't jerk off in the bathroom right now. And you go, watch me. And you go, come back. Like, you're right, I'm...

Face deep in a cheesy gordita crunch. Fuck off. I'll come with a cheesy gordita crunch. Yeah, I was 14. My head could get hard just looking at a cinnamon twist. What about you guys? Where's the weirdest place you've ever gotten off? I mean, the bathroom floor.

Bathroom floor? You're so close, like what? He goes in the bathroom and like for me to come my legs have to be straight. So I had to lie down. Like a 90 degree angle? I do get that. I so get that. My legs kind of have to be straight too. What is that? This is good, this is good. All these girls are talking about like, oh I can only come on top. I've never come on top. Never. I've never made a woman come.

Wait, what is his leg straight thing? We just became closer. Yeah, that's wild. I have to either be on my stomach or my back, but my legs need to be like... Your legs? I basically do it myself with my own thighs. I did it myself.

- Yeah, I did it myself. Well this is the thing, 'cause girls will be out here in porn, you know, anyway, you know all of them. They'll have one leg up, another leg behind their head, coming, and I'm like, first of all, I would shit myself in that position. You know when you're trying to come and there's too much possible things to come out. I need my legs to be straight,

So yeah, and they're like lying down straight in like a bathroom. - Also important, they're coming so quickly and like multiple times. - Yes. - And like, I just want someone on set to be like, she's lying.

Oh, the comments will do that for you. Just look at the comments. Well, I slept with a porn star once and her moans weren't the same and I was like, it must be a bye week. Like, what's going on? I need, give me a 10. Oh, wow. Like, her moans from the videos you've watched of her. Yeah, I was like, give me the video treatment. That must be crazy to watch someone fuck and then fuck them. I mean, my brain didn't even put two and two together. I just was like, I was, in my head, I was like nervous.

Like this feels like she's doing like a professional. Yeah, she's like taking it's like if LeBron drove past the YMCA I was like all fucking dunk on these kids But I was like waiting for the full effect I was waiting for like, you know, like all the sounds and gags and who has a normal pretty normal I mean, it's so really good. But in my head I was very nervous in the beginning. So I was like she's done with the pros. So Trevor, why do you think you're single? I

How old are you? 30. Okay. I'm the perfect age. I'm the perfect guy. For what? I have nothing wrong for me. For what? When do you turn... Wait, that's that TikTok sign. When do you turn 31? December 30th. All right. What's your sign? What's your sign? Capricorn? Capricorn, yeah. I'm a Scorpio. Scorpio. November. Fourth. What does it mean? I don't know. Scorpios are...

So hot. Yeah. The hottest. But, like, also, like, temper. Like, they'll fucking... They'll cut you. Beat your ass. Yeah. Mentally, physically, and sexually. Emotionally. But sexually... Nice ladies. I don't know why I'm single. I don't know. I think it's like, I want a girlfriend. And then a girl shows me girlfriend insurance, and I'm like, I'm not ready for that. Yeah. But then I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. Well, you travel a lot. Literally, the job is like... Oh, my God. He's opening up right now. Yeah, the job is...

I mean, I'm single because I'm doing testosterone, semen retention. I haven't came in three years. Makes me write better jokes in TikToks. I don't know. I think the schedule makes it really hard. And also, like, I don't have, like, time, free time until I know, like, an hour ahead. So I'm like, oh, I actually don't have anything. And it's like 7 o'clock. So if I hit up a girl, she's like, oh, am I just a booty call? I'm like, no, I just didn't know I had free time until now. So it's hard to, like, maintain, like, a steady thing. Schedule. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're not prioritizing women in the arts? What is your type? We'll be right back. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm delusional. I think I'm just going to wake up one day and walk down the street and be like, wow. No, you will. You will. That's what happened to me. Yeah, I got to meet somebody in person. Because apps almost, a lot of times, it might be a letdown on both ends, you know? No, if you meet a comic, a lot of the time you'll meet him and then you watch like all

all his podcasts, all his YouTubes, and in your head, he's that guy. Yeah, I've done that before. And then you will, like, miss all the red flags because you're like, this guy is fucking amazing. And then you realize he has depression. Yeah. He's running from all his emotions. Not every comedian. They have intimacy issues. Not every comedian. But so sometimes girls aren't going to, like, see you for you. You know? You, like, meet them. Like, if I had a nickel for every time I met someone, I was like, oh, I didn't get this from your Hinge profile, but you're gay. I know.

But we can still be friends. Every guy that doesn't work out with, she goes, you know what's crazy? I love that. I love that. They are. But where are you meeting these guys? Grindr? Where are you meeting them? I've never been wrong. Really? They actually are? Grindr. Yeah. No, but like, where do you meet these men?

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If you're trash. It's a thing we like to do. Do you think you're trash? Probably on weekdays, yeah. I think weekends I got it together. Weekdays, crazy. During work days, during business days. Yeah, business hours. Have you been to Mykonos?

No, but I've liked girls' pictures and Mykonos. Mentally. No, but I went to Ibiza this summer. Oh, how was that? Awesome. Hottest people I've ever seen in my life. I've never felt uglier, though. Yeah. Because also just Americans there in general aren't like, oh, stoked that they're there. And I was like, one guy was like, I know you from YouTube Shorts. I was like, that's where... YouTube Shorts?

- YouTube shorts. - YouTube shorts. I almost swallowed a rifle. I was like, one person? - And in the arts, yeah. - God, but the hottest people ever. - That's how I feel when I go to LA, if I have gone out in LA. - Really? - Yeah, like when I go to LA parties, I don't like them because I just like, I don't know. - That's interesting. - The girls are different. - 'Cause you think the girls are pretty? - Yeah.

But I mean like New York girls are pretty. I think New York women are hotter than LA women. I guess it's just I see the New York girls all the time. You know what I mean? Like I'm used to the New York look. Oh, different element. Different element. Yeah. Definitely different look. Do you love your mom? I love her. I just had lunch with her today. Wait. No, they were here this weekend. Where are you from? I was born in Illinois for two years. Moved out. And then all Southern California. You're like, I'm getting a job. I'm leaving here. He put everything in his pocket as a toddler. Yeah.

Cheerio and a vape and I hit Los Angeles. I was blowing O's and eating O's. So you grew up in California? Yeah, yeah, an hour outside of LA. He's a Cali bro. Cali boy. But he can't surf. Can you surf? Yeah, I can surf. Oh. What? Anything athletic. I love giving him that persona. Like, and this fucking loser can't even swim. I'm not good at it, but I can get up. Two people who have never gotten on a surfboard, don't worry about it. Yeah, I know how to hold it. I know how to walk the walk.

I'm treating it like MTV's Next. You remember that show? Oh my god, that show was iconic. Ray loves to vape, can't surf, and loves his mom. But do you think you love your mom a little too much? No. Okay. Who would you love more, your girlfriend or your mom? Neither. My dad. That's a trap question. There's no right answer. But you gotta go mom first. What? Because then you're, oh, he's so loving. Yeah. You know? Oh, he loves his mom. This might be, like, tough for you, this question. How many Instagram models do you follow?

Too many. Yeah. Here's the thing. I want to unfollow like anybody that shows like an inch of skin. It's like you open it at 7 in the morning. You're like a BBL at this early? Yeah.

Let me start my day. You know how Instagram you can like do the timers on social media? Like I want a timer where it's like I can't show you anything horny until like 4 p.m. Yeah. But these are all people I know and these are my friends. Like it's not like I would never just follow like some like thirst trap Instagram account. Right. No, you're supporting all your friends only fans. Yeah. Well, a lot of them are just friends you meet along and then but it's just the two earliest. I wouldn't just like randomly see one.

But you guys probably have this where you like see a hot chicks photo and there's always the same guy who's liked it on every photo. You're like, how is he everywhere? It's that random dude friend that I'm like, I didn't see that for him. Yeah, exactly. He's active. You're married, you know? My friend Saifa Sounds, he's a comic. I know, man. He follows these Instagram models and he's like, but then they'll just post a random thing of like their nephew at like a volleyball game. And I'm like, you can't be throwing that shit at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gross. What's your go-to drink? Alcohol? Mm-hmm.

Just tequila and soda. Or like an old-fashioned. Ooh, an old-fashioned. Old-fashioned with a big ice cube. I'm dumb, man. Give me a big ice cube. Monkey goes clap, clap. What has changed most about you since you started making money on YouTube shorts? Cut my parents off. Talk to them.

Really nothing. Because Trev is successful. I think I'm a little more, I lean on the page side for this, where it's like, I'm going to the airport, Uber black. I don't want to deal with this. There's too many variables in a random Uber. Oh, the window's down. I guess I'm getting a blow dryer today. Right. When it comes to like that. Or I think it's just like treating myself when I need it. Like I was at one of these thrift stores and they had this. Yeah, I get jerked off. I went to a thrift store. They had this crazy expensive jacket. I was like, this is stupid. I put it on. I was like, it's mine. It's mine.

No, I like that. Wait, you and Paige are so similar because I feel like that's you shopping at Nordstrom. If you love it, you got to get it. Right, that's what it is. And also, if I'm traveling and there's not room service, I'm leaving. I need a nice hotel. For me, it's... The first thing she said, she goes, do you guys have room service? Because

I need to know that information. This is a red roof inn. We don't have rooms. Meanwhile, she eats two fries, gets to eat the rest. Guess who's eating it all? Me. But I feel that. Yeah. But I'm also a really cheap man. Yes. I'm a very cheap man. I bring my own coffee with me.

When I travel so you make coffee in the room because I don't want to talk to people I don't want to go to a lobby true first thing out of the day I got to go downstairs. There's kids screaming. No, you know, hey get a coffee down there Like I like I have to like gather my thoughts before I do anything. That's why you need room service. Yeah, also true Yeah in a relationship. Do you have a similar personality to who you are online?

No, I think it's pretty toned down. I think like that's a comment a lot of women will say. They're like, you're so much hotter in person. I'm like, thank you. No, no, no, no, no, no. They'll always just be like, oh, you're like, you're way chiller. You're not like that accentuated. I was like, yeah, you think I would just, that's crazy that they'd also go out on a date with me thinking that I was that guy at a 10. Right. That's almost a red flag on there. You'd be into my Kyle character. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Like you just get...

you just get to their you saw me vaping and drinking bang energy and you're like there's my king with a backwards visor you're at their restaurant like just screaming at the menu like yeah exactly his video making fun of cats like if he was a cat it's him just like playing with headphones I think I've seen it I was like so obsessed with when I first met Trevor I had him on my pod and like it was a big deal like I was like Trevor's it was a big deal it was back in the

It is. You know, when we did their pod, I was so nervous. Really? She was nervous. Yeah, like, couldn't, like, my hands were sweating. Really? Why? I don't know. And we all talked at the same time. Because there's just, like, when I go to L.A., I feel like, oh, my God, like, I'm in L.A. Yes. Like, it's just, like, I get nervous. I feel the way about, like, New York, too, you know? Like this pod? Yeah.

Yeah, well, you're just like, you know, you're just like, you're in the city. You're like, yeah, we're here. We're there. We're doing that. We're this, you know? It's funny because it's intimidating. Trevor walked in, looked me in the eye, and he goes, oh, you guys don't have your own studio. Interesting. You guys just did 3,000 tickets in Toronto, and you can't rent a studio apartment? I feel like I think it's just different. No. No. Oh.

Literally? No. It's expensive. Nobody, no one who does a podcast in New York, I think, has a studio. It's just not worth it. Yeah. No, but the first time I went to LA, we just went in. Yeah, I felt that. That was his Scorpio side kicking in. He just peed a little bit in his pants. I have a question. I was walking past this studio. First of all, I saw a girl puking broad daylight yesterday. I have it on camera. I'm like, do I post this? Is that fucked up? Of course. She had three pukes. No, because some people have a phobia of puking. I do. Well, I was going to put on my story like puke warning. Put like an emoji over her face. Yeah.

- Yeah. - Well the dude, she's throwing up, the guy's just sitting there vaping in the background. This ain't her first rodeo, okay? - We just changed the subject so well to get us off of him. Anyway, what's your skincare routine?

Uh, Kiehl's? You fancy. Hey, girl. You're rich, rich. Yeah, but, um... What ex-girlfriend told you to use Kiehl's? Literally, her. Because I used to just get, like, whatever. I used to buy stuff on Amazon. I'd, like, face wash. And then they're like, this is not good. That or CeraVe. That's, like, the sleeper one. It's pretty good. True, that's a dupe. If you were washing Hannah's hair and you had to put conditioner in it, where would you put the conditioner? What the fuck?

The bottom. Somebody cooked here. Somebody cooked here. Somebody cooked here. Yeah, you already know. This is a guy who's 30. He's trained. He's a little trained. And that just comes with the territory. I'm trained. You can leave me alone. I'm trained. I won't pee on the ground. You don't need a snack. Like, you can get your own snack. You're not going to start biting the pillows? I might. You leave me alone there, blue balled. I'll fuck a pillow. When was your last girlfriend? I can't sit and sleep. I can't sit anymore. January. January. I think March.

Okay, so not that long ago. Not too long ago, but I was in a three-year relationship, got out for a couple months, and then I was seeing somebody for a couple months. It was like you escaped. What I meant to say is got broken up with. Ran away. The guards at jail felt bad for me. They were like, you're good, you're good, get out, get out, get out. Why'd she break up with you? That's a whole, you know. Who did you fuck? No. Who'd you cheat? No, no, no, no, no.

You weren't around enough. You weren't showing her enough attention. You were fucking other girls. We also lived together for like, and it just like wasn't right. It just stepped on each other and it just like, it wasn't, we turned into roommates. You guys sounded like the Toy Story, the aliens. The clock. Yeah. No, that's a really good thing. Never let your...

Partner become a roommate True Whenever people ask you about moving with Craig be like I'm not letting my partner become my roommate. That's how relationships die Crazy, I would never live with a man Paige and I are both long distance Yeah, I think there's a lot of factors She's still a great lady and I still talk to her to this day You don't have to be political with us We support women in the arts How do you feel about women like pooping farting? We can't feel anything if it doesn't exist, right? I don't think women do that

I think it's fine. Because if you're comfortable with it, I'm comfortable with it. Have you ever had a girlfriend fart in front of you? Yeah, my ex. But, like, she'd be so embarrassed after. Like, it'd be on accident. I'd be like, what was that? She'd be like, I'm so embarrassed!

No, and I would like laugh. Right. Because it'd be funny. Yeah. But also speed poops. I mean, she'd like turn the sink on for the noise. Done. Oh, yeah. Did you flush? What happened in there? Yeah. What are you doing? Are you doing key bumps in there? It's a skill. It's a skill. More quick. It's crazy. Hannah's one of the fastest I've ever met. Really? A pre-show poop? That shit comes out.

They're like let me the fuck out. I do feel like I better shows if I pooped forehand for sure good luck You know well especially with girls like you can't sometimes I wear tight stuff on stage And everyone's just like if just like they're all staring at your like lower stomach row you just want to feel like Yes, snatch, but also what I told Paige is you get adrenaline on stage so like don't worry Everything is just hell yeah well, and you I just drink a bunch of coffee I'm like my nerves are just like my whole body to get everything out of here. Yeah, yes, so

Okay, so you support? I support. I support the arts. Women in the arts. The arts are the farts. Who would play you in a movie about your life? Ryan Gosling. Wow. Let me think about that. Who would play me in my life? Do you want to get into acting? I think if it comes my way, I would like to. But also, I get impatient. Like, sitting on set for 12 hours? Yeah. No. But, like, all you do is act. Like, if you think about it, you're a writer, actor, director. Yeah. Yeah, I just, if I could make stuff with my friends, that'd be awesome. Page hates men who write.

No, I just hate men who... Aren't boy bands? I don't like men when they're performing. Like not... When you're... He's expressing... When you are doing your job. No, no, no. Like I love stand-up comedy. Like I don't think of it like that as like performing. I mean like I don't want them...

In their head, I don't want them saying five, six, seven, eight, and then doing something. That is crazy. That makes me... She just doesn't like a countdown. No, and I don't like a choreographed anything. Okay. He's attempting to synchronize swimming on the weekends. It's not for me. Not for me. Would you ever date...

another comedian, Trevor. Yeah, I think so. Because they know the life so well. You know what's funny is Hannah always said, like, never date a comedian. I'll never date a comedian. You're the worst. You're told growing up. It's like your mom's like, don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. And then you get the call. You're like, I'm going to do drugs. You moved to New York and you're like, I'm going to date a comedian. I do have to say, like, podcasting is a skill. And when all you do is podcast, which is like coming up with a conversation, make each other laugh, riffing. When you go on a normal date with a normal person, you're like,

Okay, let's bring it up. Bitch, we're doing callbacks. That's it.

You get all three times I said That's another thing I went on like two hinge dates and it's like I need the When you're only podcasting and hanging out with comics when you go on a date with a normal dude You're like are you? They didn't understand my callbacks So that's why you end up dating a comic or like a podcaster or someone Yeah cause they're just like quick At 30 I need that I just want I need a good riff Yeah No it's all about the banter Cause I've just been on dates where it's just like every sentence kind of like doesn't There's no period but the words just kind of fade out It's like

Yeah Where do I go off this? Okay, but here's the other thing sometimes it's hard to find someone to riff back and forth because they might not be as funny as you I would accept a man that's like Maybe can't riff as much with me, but knows like what I'm saying is really funny. He knows when to laugh. Yeah like gets what's going on. Even a laughs better than like a yeah like a laugh. Yeah, like if she's laughing on a date I like deep down I want to turn to the restaurant and be like, that's how you do it. Yes.

I feel like you date a lot of girls that like don't laugh at your jokes, but tell you like that's so hilarious. I have been on some dates where they're like, wait, that's actually so funny. And I'm like, then laugh. No, I think it's a mixture. I think I've gone on dates where it's like the riff was almost too good that I was like, we're getting out of the sexual tension energy. We're like, I don't even know if I fucking hot. You're just awesome. You're punching each other in the ass. We're just boys.

And then the pendulum is like, they're so hot and there's no riff. So it's like, what's this kind of like where the Venn diagram kind of overlaps? What's that middle graph? Yeah, you have to find, unless you're like us and you're just like so gorgeous. So funny, so gorgeous. Like smart, just successful. It's out there. It's just like crazy. It's out there. You just gotta try harder. What's your favorite position in bed? You know,

I was going to say a dumb answer. I was going to be like, feminism, that's not a real answer. You know, I think honestly, probably doggy or when she's laying on her stomach, legs out, horizontal, and then you're, it's like, what would that be? It's like flat doggy.

Yeah, like it's it's like doggy It's like a wishbone. We know you mean yeah. I mean that's when I nap. That's my yeah, honestly One of my favorites cuz I don't have to do literally anything. You know you're sucking in the second. Yeah, I'm fucking letting it go I'm not ready yet. Still digesting. Finish up back there. I love when my stomach is straight up cuz I'm just like yeah, what are women catching up on Ben Moe's you know?

That's crazy. What's the craziest thing a man or woman could be looking at on their phone during sex? Like if you're doing dogging, look at her phone. She's playing Wordle. You're like, oh, fuck.

I'm not more entertaining than pizza is the word. I'm like, LA girls are facetuning their photo from the date they took of themselves 30 minutes later. That's fucked up, but 100% true. That's so good. 100% true. I joke that I can't orgasm if there's unread emails on my phone. Yeah. I'm distracted. I need to like- Are you a zero text, zero email girl? Wait, that's a great question. I'm a zero text, zero email girl.

Really? I do have 8,909 emails on my phone, but they've all been seen. Like, I'm not going to click into everything. Why are you leaving fucking kayak.com on red, man?

No but some stuff I don't want to delete but like I'm like okay thank you. How many texts? Nine right now. Cause I've just been here. Damn I thought you guys were so much cooler. I'm gonna see what I am. I'm like. No I go, my texts are clean. Really? I'm ten emails, five texts. Wow. But by the time I go to sleep tonight, zero zero. Zero zero. Cause if I'm. I can't. If I'm trying to orgasm, I can't think about like oh I have to set this dog. What do women think about during sex? Is it other men? Have I? Yes.

To come? Yeah. I've thought about to not come. Not men, but, you know. But, like, you know. You've thought about other girls to not come? Yeah. Like, you've thought, like, oh, my grandma to not come? Yes. Not my grandma, but I was like, imagine if she was, like, 98. I was like, yeah, you know. Okay, interesting. To not come too fast. Or I'll say, like, a word in my head to, like, get out of it. They always say guys are trying not to.

- To come and girls are trying to come. - Yeah. - Nobody wants to meet in the middle. - I feel like as a woman, I'm trying to be in the moment, but like, and then I'll finally be in the moment, and then I'll be like, oh my god, I'm in the moment, and then I lose the moment.

Because, like, that's how you come. I'm thinking about myself the whole time. Really? And thinking about, like, how I look and how he, what he's thinking about looking at me. You know, like, when you watch your Instagram story, but you watch it in, like, the position of your crush. You're like, what is he thinking? You're like, oh, my God, she's so pretty. You would come thinking about how hot you are. What would you do? He's like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm here right now. I can't believe. What is he going to tell his friends? I have two questions here. First of all, you know, okay, so.

What do you, what would you do if the guy stopped and was like, what are you thinking about mid-sex? What would you do? Is everything okay? What are you thinking about? I would say, your dick's so big. You're a huge dick. Um, I would just be like, you. Yeah, you just say your dick. I feel like that would throw off the whole vibe. Yeah, I'd get so pissed if I was like that. Ew.

Question. What are you thinking about right now? I'd just be like, how deep? Yeah, it's weird. I would take it as like he was trying to be like lovey and like want to like make love and then that's when I'm out. Yeah, Paige hates that. I'm weird where like I'll see myself in the mirror having sex and then I'll go back to like me as a kid. Well, 18 and up. No, I'll literally be like, you were just a little girl and now you're just this freaky porn star.

This is where you are. It's so sad. I know for a fact you have legitimately done that. You know when you first see that you have full tits, you're like, I'm just not an innocent child anymore. Am I ruining women for you right now? No. There have been moments where I've been having sex where I'm just like, I was just a girl. It's like, I should like, I'm better. It's like, I'm,

I'm also the girl that like if a random guy's like, yeah, you dirty fucking slut. I'm like, oh, okay. Well, it's funny after, like especially in a relationship with somebody and then it's like, you're just yelling and scatting. Oh yeah, if you know me, say whatever. And then afterwards, you're like, so, did you still want to go to brunch? Like it's just like, it flips in your head. Once the scene is out of here, you're like, all right. Well, Paige is more violent than me. Like,

I can't fight for my life while I'm trying to cum. Like, I'm just trying to be, like, at peace. Everything. Like, if you, like, accidentally pull my hair to her and I'm like, oh. Yeah, you fucked to the call map or something. Yeah, like, she needs it to be nice and, like, a safe space. Maybe a candle lit. My life is so chaotic. I'm like, let's have a nice. The air conditioning is on. It's a cool 72. Oh, gotcha. If it's too hot, I can't. A soft kiss. Yeah, just a soft. Ooh.

Freaky. No, but you know what you want. Okay, soft kiss is not freaky. That is not freaky. There's a CEO getting a ball gag in his ass right now. People think I'm like a crazy partying DWI type of girly. Yeah. When I'm in bed, I'm like, I just want to feel loved, get peace. It's so funny because what people think you are... Is what you are. Yeah, but I would never say...

You're on the other side of that? She wants to be hit by a brick. It's the only way I come. Hit me with a Tempur-Pedic mattress. I need to be choked out and I will only come when I'm then coming to. There are some great lines on this episode. Paige, this is my thing though. Because you want pain? No, you make it seem like I'm this like

No, I don't want pain, but like a light choke. Yeah. Yeah. Like not air. A light choke. Just a medium air choke. Medium well choke. I will say I passed out.

She's like, "You're trying to make it, I just passed out once from choking." - I passed out one time from choking. - There's something about BDSM that gives slapstick humor to me. - It's so funny after you cum. - He's like, "Babe, can you unzip my catsuit?" - But no, for me and the Al's, it's literally like a Tom and Jerry cartoon to me. - I'll never forget it, I passed out, and then when I came to, I said, "Did I just pass out?"

And he goes, yeah, I was so fucking hot. That's the thing with the guy's head. He thinks it's from him. So then in my head, I was like, yeah, I know it was so fucking hot. You're like, I actually haven't eaten in three days. I passed out. I'm actually dehydrated. Because my blood sugar is so low. Do you like choking?

I have fra hands, I don't like to do it. I feel like I'm like giving it my all and she's like "Cardo" and I was like "What do you mean?" Wait, what kind of hands do you have? Frodo? Frail. Oh, I thought you said Frodo. Frail. Yeah, probably the same guy. We both have hand insecurities. Really? 'Cause I have nubs. I always thought I had normal hands and I like posted a photo of me doing stand-up and people would be like "His little hands!" Aww. "With that big dick!" Do hands- do the size of hands correlate to dick size?

I don't know. I think I'm packing like very like right down the middle. Yeah. You're a boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah, you're a boyfriend dick. My ex-wife said I had husband dick. Yeah. And I thought that was a compliment. That's a really big compliment. Is it? Yeah. No, I thought because like I feel like that's bad. No. It means that you could do it a lot and like you won't be sore.

Like, well, it's not going anywhere. No, but it means it's not like... Because if it's too big, it hurts and it's not fun. Like, you don't want to do it. It's like going to a restaurant. You don't want to, like, have an extravagant meal all the time. Like, what's, like, a meal you could eat every day? Right down the middle. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not going to make you sick. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a Big Mac, but it is a quarter pounder, you know? It's on the menu. Yeah. This was such a sexual episode. Paige, do you have any other notes? No. The choking. Was the choking recent? No, this was, like...

Five or six years ago. Oh, back in the heyday? Yeah, back in my prime. Do you pee in hot tubs? I pee in hot tubs, yeah. Oh, what's funny, because you know how slapping is kind of hot? Yeah. One time a girl asked me in college, she's like, do you like slapping? And I was like, yeah, and I thought she wanted to be slapped. And then she slapped me in the face, like clocked me. See, I actually don't like slapping. I've had someone do it to me one time and I said, no, no.

No. It takes you out of it. Yeah, I was like, excuse you. No. I'll literally call your mom. Literally slap me. Also, even slapping the ass has technique. No. You have to hold it. Even that I don't really like because I'm like, that actually hurt but didn't feel good for me. No, because the technique isn't right. You just want to feel like passion. You don't want to feel an action. I don't want a five star on my ass. Well, it's all about the sound. Yes. Because my ex, she's very funny. She used to say something. If I went to slap an ass and it didn't make the noise, she'd be like, oh, I was a dud. And I'd be like, oh, fuck.

But if you just get hip, it sounds like you're calling your dog on the couch. Come here, boy. Can we call in another guy who has real hands? Oh, no. Where she buys one of those hand clappers to take to the game. But that was like a funny bitch. Like, ah, I'm done. But I feel like that's so like if you're a guy. I feel like having bits throughout sex is like something I really need. That's like love. Yeah. That's like love, love. But you don't want to get the giggles. I've gotten the giggles before. That's why I can't watch porn with my comedy husband.

Yeah, cuz we break it down. We're doing call back. She's not gonna fit in that microwave Why would you said the girl goes into slapping? Oh my god Dude, I probably would have done it. I was down bad. I think college. I was living in a bunk bed. Oh

All my friends were like, what did you do last night? We heard a lot of clapping. I was like, oh, I was fucking. I was laying down, dude. It's just Trevor getting the shit beat out of him. No, it's a thin line. Anyway, we support all kinds of sex in the arts. Yeah, we do. As long as you don't count down. Trevor, thank you so much for- Last thing. What if he counts them before he comes? Three, two, one. Ah.

My friend told me recently that she was this guy. I was like, what was wrong with him? What was wrong with him? And she was like, I broke up with him because when he came, he'd go. I would break up with someone too. So did you go to the silent calm? Because Michael's very vocal about it. He's like, I will be loud when I come. And I was like, you don't need to. I don't mind like a really masculine like. I don't know if I've ever like.

Cause I'm like a dude, I'm like, that was my pussy. I don't think I've ever had someone be like loud, really. But I don't like the like, you know, Cause they always have a ball gag in their mouth. Tell them to shut the fuck up. Cause he's knocked out. I don't like, you know, do you know when someone sneezes but holds it in? That's when some guys come, they're like, Oh, I hate those people. Or when it goes too long, you're like, you came, you came already. It's like 14 minutes in and you're still like, No, we're getting to the credits now. Wrap it up.

Speaking of the credits. Where are you going to be, Trev? Such a fun episode. When does this come out? I'm going to be in Australia at the end of October. Shut up. Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Perth. TrevorWallaceComedy.com and I have a special coming out November 14th. Can't say where it's on but it's going to be a streamer so I'm excited. That's fucking amazing. That's so exciting. Yeah, you guys are awesome and thanks for having me. Paige and I have shows coming up. Chicago and New York. Where is it in Chicago?

Chicago, the Vic Theater. Vic, I love Vic. And then I'm going to plug some of my shows because I need to sell in Hanover, Maryland. It's a casino. I don't know where it is. But the girlies, let's go because I don't... Casino girls are so fun because they give you free food vouchers. Very fun. That's where I saw your billboard. Yeah. I guess I have a billboard, but no one's around. Anyway, Sacramento, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago.

Portland, Kansas City, Indianapolis, Chicago, Milwaukee, New Orleans, Atlanta, Tampa, Orlando. Wow, I'm tired. Reno and Charlotte. We'll post them. We'll post Hannah's dates. Thank you guys so much for getting with us. Follow Trevor. Listen to our Stiff Socks episode, and we'll talk to you guys later. Thanks for having me. Bye.