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Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my garbanzo bean gigglers. So funny that you just said beans because I've been in like my bean era. You're in your bean girl era? Yeah, I've been eating just like straight up lima beans. Okay, you gassy bitch. Have you seen the pictures of Jonah Hill surfacing?
What's going on? What's going on? He's very skinny. He's very skinny. I just like every now I can't even see.
I can't even look at him because it's like every time I say that like I want to date someone, it's just – I don't get how this keeps happening. So was it just that one photo people were posting where he looks like he's on Ozempic? He looks like he's on Ozempic. He's also dressed like – that is the classic like style of a guy that I don't like. Like I don't like that like –
I don't know. What would I classify it as? Like a Brooklyn hipster style where like their pants are like above their ankle and like it's like dress pants, but they're like not like I hate that style. He could be a painter. Yeah. He like goes to like slam poetry. You know, he like makes his own toothpaste and his toothbrush is like a wooden brush. And then it's like he made like the bristles.
Yeah, and he has like different mugs and they're like, they're like don't all match. But he's like, it's quirky. It's like different mugs and like teacups. He only drinks coffee from Nicaragua. He's like very against like Colombian beans and he's only into like Nicaraguan coffee that's like made by like a tribe of like just women.
He only wears jewelry that his friend who's a metal worker makes for him customized. Yeah. Customized rings that don't really fit. It's like all one size because the guy doesn't know how to like size it. And he spends like $400 on haircuts to look like his parents don't pay his rent. Yes. He's not spending money on things you would like think he's spending money on. He spends it on like...
stickers and like old albums yes like he's going to auctions for like old like first released like vinyls and stuff and he'll bring a girl back and be like let me show you my vinyl and she's like I'm good yes I think I'll be fine if I don't see that I think my day would be better and he calls all shoes moccasins
He cleans his whole apartment with olive oil. Yes. And like a little apple cider vinegar. Like just a hint, just a tinge. Also, one other thing for the girlies. I legit thought that I was dying the other day because I...
Well, first off, let me just say this. I saw this TikTok, like, I'm not kidding, like, six months ago, and it still haunted me, where this girl thought that she was, like, getting her period really bad, and then straight up her, like, uterus, like, fell out of her vagina. No. And I, ever since that TikTok, have been, like, really paranoid. So the other night, I'm sitting on the couch, okay? Craig and I had just...
had sex and I'm getting this like shooting pain in my stomach and I'm like no something's like something's like not right and I was like oh I'm just like you know what I'm just having like a period cramp I'm sitting laying on the couch with tears running down my eyes but I'm not saying like I'm not crying Craig looks at me and he goes what the fuck is happening are you crying like are you in that much pain that you're crying and I was like yeah but it's just like period pain so I'm not like
having a full cry and he's like girls are so fucking insane I sat on the toilet for like 15 minutes I thought I was passing a kidney stone I was screaming crying hysterical I started to get dizzy I thought I was gonna pass out hit my head on the tub I was gonna die Craig was so nervous I was gonna die and that people were gonna think it was he was like you should call your mom you should tell your mom what's happening
And then I called my mom and she was just like, I mean, go to urgent care or something. But then it went away. But I do. I have to go to the gynecologist because something was not right. I was going to say your appendix, but both of our appendix have already burst. Humble brag. Humble brag. We don't we don't have appendix.
We don't need them. I feel like a soldier that I survived my appendix. My appendix was during chat room. I was filming an episode and I thought that I had diarrhea. I was just like, oh, God. No, it's one of the weirdest feelings. I you like think you're and then I'm sitting on the toilet and I'm like, am I going to be one of those girls that like I didn't know I was pregnant? And like I have a baby, a little baby just plops into the toilet and you're like, oopsie.
No, no, no. That's a new fear unlocked. I'm still not over. What is it called? Those like little things that girls were shitting out like the parasite cleanses. Yeah, but it wasn't like I had to go to the bathroom. It was like I was bloated, but only like in the front of my body.
Like it was like in my vagina. I'm going to be honest with you. Being a woman is like we don't know half the things that are going on with our bodies. Like yesterday, my boobs hurt so bad. And I guess I was PMSing. But like everything that happens, you're like, I could be pregnant. Like I'll be like, this sandwich tastes good. I'm pregnant. No, I literally then Craig put on this show about like.
In the Amazon, these, like, two different tribes of, like, monkeys and how they, like, fight against each other. And, like, there's, like, a war and there was, like, one of them. And, like, it was like, oh, this is Gus. Like, no one ever wants to play with Gus. And I started crying hysterically because I was like, that's so sad that no one ever wants to play with him. Yeah. And Craig was like, I don't think I've ever seen you shed a tear for a baby or an animal in, like, the three years that I've known you. Leave Gus.
Leave Gus alone. And I couldn't. I couldn't stop. He's like, I bought you a penguin that you've never checked on. Well, the penguin was a scam. Yeah, that was a scam. I was bike riding today. And speaking of pain, bikes hurt my pubic bones so bad. Like, you know how you have orbital bone issues? I have pubic bone issues. I don't know if my pubic bone is too big, too small. It's like why I can't do SoulCycle. Does no one else's pubic bones hurt? Yeah, I can't do it.
But then I think like, where were you going? I was going to play tennis and it was a fun bike ride there. But the bike ride back, the wind was so strong. I was going backwards. I almost started crying. And then Des was driving because he was going to some doctor appointment. And he just started laughing and passed me in the car. And I was like, this is so fucked up. And you're texting me like, bitch, I'm ready to record. And I'm like, I'll be there in 20 minutes. The wind...
So bad at bike riding too. I literally felt like a two-year-old. Wait, can we go on a bike ride this weekend? That would be so fun. I would love to wake up Sunday morning and bike to get iced coffee. Speaking of iced coffee, this bitch, this three-year-old bitch was walking in town, looking me up and down with an attitude, holding...
an iced coffee. And I was like, how young is too young to give children iced coffee? I'm like, what is she stressed about? Is she paying taxes later today? Like, what does she have to get done? There's no way there was like real coffee in it. It seems like an iced coffee where she was like, I have to do my Legos later. Like I have so much work. Yeah.
I have the Easy Bake Oven. I haven't cleaned my Easy Bake Oven from that party I had. I actually don't think we talked about this on the pod. We talked about it at a live show. But Kristen Bell and Dax giving their kids non-alcoholic beer. I feel the same way about that as I do about giving kids coffee. Like, I just feel like that's something that they don't need to get the taste this young. Because it's not...
Like beer, coffee and wine is not a taste that you just taste it one day and you're like, oh, that's so good. You have to like keep having it and like get used to it. And then you're like, oh, this is I still can't drink black coffee. I still need like the sweetest wine ever. I'm a literal child. I still can't drink beer. Like I can have maybe like a few sips of a Corona and lime. But other than that, I'm like, no, I can't. That's why giving your kids non-alcoholic beer, I'd be like,
It still tastes like shit. Give me the fucking grape juice. Give me the apple juice. I fucked that shit up when I was a kid. Give me that like the juicy juices. And what's the fruit punch one? The high high C. Give me that high C. Inject me with high C. I get apple juice a lot more now because of you. Because I like forgot about it. You know, like sometimes you forget how fucking good apple juice is.
It's very sweet, but it's very bad for you. So I recommend you guys buy this thing on Amazon. It's called Sport Tea. Have you heard about Sport Tea? No. It's like this tea that like someone who climbed Mount Everest apparently drank. And it's tea, but it's so like lemony and citrusy. It almost tastes sweet, but there's no sugar. You drink it cold or hot?
So before I go to sleep at night, I take my emotional support water bottle and I put the tea in it and I put it in. And then in the morning when I wake up just like gasping for water because I haven't drank water since 1992, I pull it out and I drink it and it's so fucking good because my problem is with coffee. Yeah, I'm getting the works. OK, I'm getting vanilla. I'm getting the cold foam on top. I'm getting whole milk.
I might get a caramel swivel. I feel like that's like a fake. You and Craig are the same. That's like a fake coffee. That's not. That's a dessert. It is a dessert, but I'm trying to have fun. You live one life. And then Des drinks coffee, no sugar. He's an adult.
I know. He's done. He's done here. What's your coffee order at Starbucks? Iced coffee with whole milk. No sugar. Actually, speaking of our newsletter, I want in our next. I'm so we're newsletter girlies.
No, is this like a throwback? Because I don't even know where we came up with the idea. Someone messaged me. They were like, are people doing newsletters? Yeah, we are. You've been wanting to do a newsletter for a while. In our next newsletter, I'm going to put my smoothie recipe. But like I don't have like a legit recipe, but I'm going to tell you everything that I put in it. And each one, I'm going to take a picture of each one of my vitamins and
And I'll send it to Grace so that she can link like the exact vitamins that I throw in my smoothie each morning. Because I'm not kidding. My smoothies each morning have changed my life. How? Like in terms of your energy? Yeah. We are officially starting a newsletter. We've wanted to do this for a really long time. And you're like, Hannah, Paige, you can't read or write. Why would you start a newsletter? Well, so many times after episodes, you guys will be like, what's that thing you talked about? I like that thing. What was Paige wearing? Right.
what was Hannah wearing so I know not to wear it. And I feel like it's a perfect thing for each week, once a week, not annoying, to give you just a lay of the land of like stuff we're loving, stuff we're watching. It's a recap. A mental health moment to get the week started. And it's like super simple, just super fun. It's so that the gigglers have less admin. You don't have to go back to the pod. Yes.
Rewind Where did they talk about that Let me remember that Let me write that down No admin for you It's going to be all right there In your email And also give us feedback If you have any notes We prefer no notes But if you do have them We also have a hat out Because you guys went nuts Over no notes Which like I think is Going to
It's my favorite thing to say. So we have a hat for No Notes Out. And if you want to subscribe to the newsletter, get the hat, go to giggly-squad.com. Also, final housekeeping. I'm going through a transition with Burning in Hell. She's transitioning. No, I'm obsessed. I think it's so good. Well, the problem is that like...
I'm traveling so much in the next couple months. I also feel like the gigglers and the little devils are so fucking funny. Yeah. Like you ever just look at the comments and you're like these bitches. Sometimes in my DMs, like I had this one girl who was like DMing me multiple things about something. And then the last DM was like, sorry to be a creepy hinge date and just like blow up your DMs like that. Like it was just so funny, though.
Yeah, they're hilarious. So I've been wanting to do a pod where people can like submit in voice memos. So I kind of figured out how to do it. And I think I'm going to do it with Des. I love that. And the name of it is so good. It's called Burfo.
Go to Burning in Hell. It's slowly turning into Burner Phone. The first episode just dropped with Des, so go listen to it. No, I think it's a great idea. Thank you. This will be fun. Because the Googlers also, like, they have some crazy...
Yeah, like they would tell me about beige flags, it's advice stuff, embarrassing moments. Like, we'll see where it goes. And I think eventually we can do some of that with Giggly Squad too. It could be fun. I was on TikTok and I saw this TikTok. Have you ever heard of the Bech... The Bechdel test. Bechdel test. Have you ever heard of it? Yeah, I studied it in college. I was a women's studies minor. Wait, I...
I'm fascinated. Okay, so basically it's not like a thing that all movies like, oh, you have to like pass this test or anything. But it's basically if a movie passes this test, it's two female leads having a conversation in the movie that doesn't have to do with a guy and like no movie passes it.
Like one of the examples that was like all of the Harry Potter movies, none of them pass that. There is no female lead characters having a conversation that does not have to do. Yes. Yes.
Which I just think is so crazy. Yeah, but these are the little things that you don't realize is in our media that makes us like have internalized misogyny and like the patriarchy just fucking now I'm all worked up. And I feel like as women, we do. I do feel like I talk about guys the majority of conversations like I'm having with my girlfriends. Not all of them, but like.
Yeah, we're going to talk about what's going on with our boyfriends. But the thing is, so do men. Men are talking about girls all the time. They just don't show that in movies. Because it's from a male perspective, a lot of the writers. Right. And I feel like it's more accepted to be like, oh, girls are always talking about guys and
because we're literally taught to talk about guys in everything that we see and so i just thought it was like so i was also very high when i was watching this and i was just like no but i love this because we've been passing the bechdel test so far we talked about newsletters we talked about little kids with iced coffee i mean this this is why this is a feminist bechdel test podcast this is a bechdel test podcast
Wait, next time we talk about a guy, we have to be like, oh no, we didn't pass the Bechdel test. What's so interesting about it, though, is a lot of people didn't think that women's stories, people would want to watch. Women being multifaceted. And then now people are realizing how much... Even Barbie. People would never think Barbie would be a movie that sells. And it's the top-selling movie. Now I can't think of the name. I think it's called She Said. Did you watch that movie about the New York Times...
I didn't, but I want to. You have to watch it. I think it was one of the best movies ever. Well, one, I liked all the actors in it, so I'm more prone to a movie when I feel like I'm down with the actors. It was so good, and it was all about... I mean, all women basically broke the whole...
scandal like started to break it with like their articles um harvey weinstein harvey weinstein yeah this is the thing when you're a girl and all you learn growing up is like the boys are busy like with businesses and creating things and and solving problems and the girls are busy chasing boys that's not healthy no and that's why the bechdel test is the ultimate de-centering men from your life yeah no it really is
I love that for us. And the thing is, it is obviously so much fun to sit down and gossip about dudes. It totally is. And they're doing it too. It's just in the media, it's so lopsided and it's not okay. I do feel like guys talk about women for sure, but I genuinely don't think they talk about them for as long as we talk about
Well, they don't, men don't like understand details. No, they don't. They're stupid. It goes like, they would never explain a date like the way we would explain a date. They'd be like, she was, she was fun. She was there. She laughed at my joke. She was so funny. She was there. I was there. It was good.
Speaking of a man, I'm in the car with Des. I don't know why he searched hairy Italians in podcasts. I think he was like looking for like a joke. He's like working on a bit. I don't know why he did it. And he goes, Hannah. I was like, what? And he goes, do you know if you search hairy Italians in the podcast app, Giggly Squad comes up. Wait, can you search right now? I want to use like my weird algorithm. Go to the podcast app, search hairy Italians. Someone's fucking with us.
Hairy Italian. Italian. Number two. Hannah, we're literally number two after a legitimate show that's called Hairy Bikers and then Giggly Squad.
Okay. Wait, what the fuck, Hannah? Part of me is proud. So anyway, shout out to all the hairy Italians that are listening and all the hairless blondes. We're accepting you into the cult. Oh, man. That like makes me honestly really proud. I have a crazy story. I learned. Sorry, I'm breaking the. I'm talking about a man, but like, okay, it's a story about a woman and a man. Okay.
Now I'm all paranoid. Okay, so Des has a friend, John Bishop. Not related. Just, he's British. He's from Liverpool. And he's like a very famous comedian in Liverpool. When I tell you I cannot understand this man, when I was speaking to him, I started doing like hand movements. Like I was like podcasting. And Des was like, Hannah, he speaks English. Why are you doing sign language? And I'm like, well, I can't hit his ass. And he's like, oh, oh, oh. And I was like, that was not English. Can I tell you?
That this exact same thing happened to Craig literally this past weekend. And he goes, I blame you because all you do is run around and doing different accents and like copying people's accents. And I think that Madison from Southern Charm has one of the best accents I've ever heard in my fucking life. So, like,
Like sometimes I'll just say really mean things to Craig, but I'll say him in Madison's accent because it sounds nicer. Wait, can we do our Madison? Please. Like I will literally skin you from limb to limb. I will burn you and your family and then have you over for tea. Sometimes I know your mother wished she never birthed you. Bless your little heart.
Look, I love everything about you except your brain and your looks. I think that you're not pretty. You're not physically fit. There's no redeeming qualities about you. And I don't know why you're here. No, she just like, she can say the meanest things ever, but like it sounds funny in her accent. You've embarrassed your entire family just existing. And I hope, bless your heart, I hope
That you don't have a child. I hope for humanity's sake, you never procreate. I really hope that your husband gets a little snip because that would make everyone in town feel much more safe. I was doing Madison's accent in old school Giggly Squad days. We loved, we always loved Madison. I'm obsessed with Madison. So,
Craig is in Charleston and he's doing a meet and greet and this girl walks up and she has like a really thick southern accent. He thought she was doing a bit. Yeah.
She's talking he immediately like mimics her accent and talks back to her and in his said he's like oh my god Like I gotta just like walk it off and he said like in his head He was like fuck you Paige like I would have never done this if you don't if you weren't like running around doing accents all the time so Becca when I visited Arkansas had to sit me down and Say you cannot copy people's southern accents because it's coming across rude and
When they say, how y'all doing? And you go, how y'all doing? She was like, it's not nice. But like, I feel like if someone, if I met someone and they started like making fun of the way we talked, I don't think I'd be offended. I think I also like I wasn't making fun of them. It's just if you're going to come up to me and be like, hey, Hannah, how y'all doing? I'm not going to be like, good. How are you?
Right. I'm not a robot. It's human nature to be like kind of a, it's called like code switching, I think. Yeah. But it's basically like you want to mirror what they're doing. Yeah. But I came across like I was making fun of Southern people and I was like, sorry, we won the war. Don't come for me. I just think Southern accents are so like, did you see that viral TikTok of like the little kid asking his sister if she even knew what a jelly bean was? Yeah.
No, Southern people are so fucking funny. It's so funny. Like, I feel like I'd be funnier. We'd be funnier if we had a Southern accent. Oh, my God. We'd have a residency in Vegas. We'd have a residency. So anyway, the story of this Liverpool man, I couldn't really understand what the story was. So I'm going to give you guys the brief synopsis. But it was so fascinating. He's a very successful comic. And John Bishop, I'm sorry if I ruined the story, but I just think people will enjoy it.
Imagine if I forgot the story. Okay, so long story short, he's 35 and his wife is divorcing him. She's like, I don't know who you are anymore, but I'm just not into this. I think they might have had kids at that point. Regardless, he spends like months just like lost, depressed. And he was like a marketing guy. And I think he like...
wanted to do an open mic, like a stand-up open mic. And he goes in, and he's funny, and he does well. Fast forward, he, like, a couple months later, he's, like, doing pretty well. He's at some clubs, and he tells this joke about his wife. And then he looks into the crowd, and his wife is there. Stop. His wife randomly went into a comedy club, didn't know he was doing comedy, and he's on stage, and they lock eyes.
So he's like, fuck, fuck, this is bad. She walks up to him and she goes along these lines. I missed this man. Like, this is the guy I love. And they got back together and he became the most famous comedian in Liverpool. He's huge now and they have a happy family. And he just needed to find his way. And she had to like leave for him to like hit rock bottom without her.
Yes. And I'm not saying to get back together with your exes, but it is an interesting thing where like he was not happy with himself and he took the time to kind of like find what brought him joy. And then I, okay. Mental health moment. You know, everyone's like, don't care what people think. Yeah. I don't think that's actually the line. Cause like, obviously we all care what people think. It's that when you really know how you feel about yourself and
people will think differently about you. Like you're the one that's in control. Like for example, I was biking today.
So we all think you're going on the Tour de France. I was biking today. So you are a biker. This is a bike podcast. This is a biking podcast. And I remember some guy went really way past me and I was kind of insecure. I was like, oh my God, he's going so fast. And then I was like, no, I'm actually insecure. I'm on a leisurely stroll and I'm going to be like, I don't care. And then I realized...
It's what you put out that affects what people see. Like you can trick... It's not tricking people, but you can... When you really are in your power, like you're influencing people around you. Today's like the most powerful day to manifest. Oh!
Yeah. So write down everything you want. Oh, no. Why did I immediately get scared? Because we always manifest the wrong. Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Are you ever going about your day and just like random little things will happen to you? Like, I don't know, your boyfriend was snoring the whole night. So you woke up the next day just not having any sleep.
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This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give BetterHelp online therapy a try at betterhelp.com slash giggly squad and get on your way to being your best self. Hannah and I are always talking about therapy and honestly sometimes we talk about stopping therapy too because sometimes it just gets overwhelming.
but inevitably we always end up going back. There are so many times in my life that I'm doing therapy that I'm not doing therapy and truly I feel better when I am doing therapy. So whether your schedule is packed with kids, activities, big work projects, or you're just overwhelmed, it's easy to let your priorities slip and when you're ready to go back into therapy try BetterHelp. It's
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after you purchase they may ask where you heard about them please support giggly squad and tell them that we sent you honeys you deserve this free the pain and discomfort keep the support with honey love thanks i do have to say nothing against rich kids but like no in the summer you really see who has money yeah like it's some people i'm like
It's a lot. It's been four weeks. Yeah. Yes. I feel like this summer in particular, I've looked at a lot of and I'm not even saying like rich kids. Like I've looked at a lot of young couples and just like random people that I, you know, like I know and I'm I'm like they have foot only fan accounts. Yeah. Like where are is your money coming from? Because I know during the winter you're not at like a job. Yeah.
Also, they'll come back. And then next week, they're in Portugal. They'll go again. No, that's been the craziest thing. I'm like, it's one thing to go and stay. But to buy that flight back and then another flight there. No.
You're like time traveling at that point. My mom, I think our parents are very traditional. We're like, I think when I first was like going to do something with Des, she was like, that's for your honeymoon. Yeah. Like you do that. And so then my parents are all confused when they see like people who aren't married going on these extravagant trips, but it's like, go for it. Like I support it. My thing is like,
Traveling is exhausting. I get so much anxiety. I don't like being away from butter. The outfits, it's insane. The admin. But these people are good at it. They know all the restaurants to go to. There are some influencers that I watch and I'm like, how did you pack for that though? How did you have that perfect little top that goes with that? How did you plan all of that? I'm wearing the same three things.
Yeah, I'm like, this is unrealistic. Even if I do pack other stuff, that was a different girly in my head I packed for because Hannah in real life wants to wear something comfortable. I'm not wearing the tight, you know, corset that I pack to dinner. No. And anything like in the summer that I'm like, oh, I'll wear like pants or like, no, I want to be like a dress. Oh God, like jeans? No. No. I need to breathe. Yes.
Speaking of breathing, breathing, it's my birthday next week. I know. Well, Saturday.
Sad. Okay, sorry, this week. I don't know what's going on. I've already purchased your birthday gift, and I'm so anxious for you. Because I was looking at a bunch of different ones, and I was like, which one is the most Hannah? And which one is she going to be like, oh my God, the Gen Z girl is... You know, which one would make me want to vomit? Which one is ugly, ugly, ugly? Which one would I never use, but that Hannah would get a kick out of it?
But you are good at shopping for me because I'll be like, is this good? And you're like, I can see you with that. No, because I feel like there are things that I like that I'm like, oh, that's like cool and quirky that like it doesn't go with anything I have or something that I'm like, oh, Hannah will wear this like in Lower East Side with like a long skirt and like sandals and it'll look really cool. Oh my God.
No, I for sure see stuff that I'm like, I can never pull that off of. Paige would look so good in it. When we create merch, our meetings are so funny because I'm very obsessed with Y2K and 90s vibe right now. And Paige is obviously like classy...
We have some limited tumor coming for the Hannahs. We're just like in a creative space right now. Yeah. I'm very in touch with my creativity recently. I tried Lemmy gummies. Oh, what do you think? I've tried a few of them. They taste really fucking good. Do they work? I have no idea. But that's a that's a great candy.
They taste a little too good. Okay. I mean, I was a fan of Flintstone gummies as a kid. Swipe up. I don't know why anyone would take vitamins not in gummy form. Yeah. If you can. Like gummies are so fun. So fun. And I like the texture. They're cool. Are you in like your vitamin era? Like are you, are you taking one of them like once every day or you were just trying it out? I take Prozac. Nice. I take Prozac. And that's really the only vitamin one needs.
I think that I'm a multivitamin girly and I will buy a multivitamin and I don't, I travel so much. Like I never get in the hang. People don't talk about that. Like when you have crazy travel jobs, it's so hard to get in a routine. Like, I mean, I forget my Prozac all the time. Also, I just can't really take, I can't take pills. Like if I have a headache, yeah, I can take like two Advil, but I can't take like vitamins are big and like,
You literally deep throat every night and you can't take one little pill. No, I literally make myself gag and I'm like, even when I take Tylenol, everyone, if you ever watch me take Tylenol, people are like, what's your problem? I have to put my head all the way back. Like I have to put it in the back of my throat, take a sip of my water and then throw my head back so that it like falls back because I can't.
I can't do it. You are so dramatic right now. So dramatic. You're going to die. I'm a monster. I dry take it. Hannah, are you kidding me? No, because when I would play tennis every now and then, like, I'd need an Advil or something. I'd just be like, go. But occasionally when you dry take it, it gets, you know when it gets stuck in your chest? Yes. For like nine hours. Yeah.
Like it's still there. Like I one time got it stuck in my throat in high school and I literally went to the nurse and I was like, I'm going to suffocate. She was like, that's not how it works. I was like, call a doctor. No, the key is to like, I mean, this is the problem. They're like long. So you can't have a go in the wrong way. It has to go in the long, the long way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a bobsled. But you just have to get a lot of water and give it a gulp like you're doing a shot.
Just something about it. I can't do it. I love how you took 17 shots this weekend, but you can't take one tiny pill of a multivitamin. Actually, I was even more ratchet than that. I drank like Red Bull vodkas all weekend, like a disgusting rodent that I am. Oh, God. I know. I don't know why I did it. I don't know if multivitamins work. I know they probably do. I just don't know.
I'm actually on a very good vitamin, like, regimen. I'll put it in the newsletter, too, like, with my smoothie, all my vitamins. I feel like if you take too many, you start to feel geriatric. Yeah. Like, if you're like, Mondays we take this. We got seven pills. Like, I did buy, like, a pill container from Amazon, and I was like, and it came in the mail, and I was like, it's giving, um...
Diabetic. Like, it's just, it's giving, I don't know. It was just too much. I was like, I'm not 85 years old. I don't need to be putting my vitamins in all these, like, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, like,
Part of it is like sometimes less is more. It's like with your face, like how much stuff do you have to put on your face before it starts being like, okay. It's too much. Yeah. I did hear that rosehip is very good for my sensitive combination skin. So I might start using rosehip. Wait, I used to take those. You can take like rosehip oil. Yeah. Oh, wow. What do you think of fish oil? I take it. I take a B vitamin and...
fish oil and magnesium and then my Nutrafol. Did a doctor tell you? Yes. What happens if you don't take it? Nothing. It's not like, I mean, the thing with vitamins is like you have to be taking vitamins for like four months to see any like benefits really. And it's like helping things inside your body that like you wouldn't even know.
You know? Wow. So definitely, I would love to see those vitamins in your, in the newsletter. But also, everyone, don't listen to it. Like, remember when we told you not to, like, take birth control? This is Paige's specific regimen. If you use it and, like, a leg starts growing out of your stomach, do not sue us. I mean, it's just, like, they're, like, generic vitamins. It's not like I'm, like, telling anyone to, like...
Take seven laxatives and then like do some cocaine, you know. Tummy tea was so fucked up and no one talked about it. Wait, what is? Tummy tea.
No one talked about it enough. Tummy tea has been real quiet lately. I want the documentary of tummy tea. When I was dying on the toilet because I was literally passing a kidney stone or God knows what was happening to me. All I kept thinking was if I call my mom and tell her she's going to be like, I told you not to be putting castor oil on your stomach every fucking night, but you wouldn't listen to me. So I was like scared to tell her. But whatever. I'm going to go to the gynecologist. We're going to figure out what that was.
I literally thought my uterus was coming out. This is the problem with getting older, too. Like, you have to make time for doctor's appointments. When do people make time for doctor's appointments? No, I've been dreading it. Because I also, here's the other thing. I don't want to go into the gynecologist and be like, oh, by the way, I went off my birth control. And her be like, who told you to do that? And me be like, Hannah. No.
She's like, first of all, Hannah's not a doctor. Okay. Do you know what? I call her my vaginista. My friend is a gynecologist. My mom's friend. I used to text this bitch all the time to be like, hey, I ran out of birth control. Can I have more? Like, I would lose it. Yeah. She was like, you need to get your shit together. I feel like it's not...
that easy for whatever reason to find a good gynecologist in New York City. I don't know why I feel like that. I want there to be like, like ZocDoc is amazing.
I want there to be like more dating app format. Like you swipe through doctors. Literally, I want it to be more dating app format. I want them answering questions. What's your favorite hobby? At a party, where are you? Are you by the dog or the food? Or the charcuterie. I want to see what the inside of the office looks like. I want to know like how many doctors are in there. Is it all women? How many patients? What's your specialty? Like...
For whatever reason, when I do think ZocDoc is amazing, but sometimes like I'll make appointments and I'm like, I'm going to this. This is the same, right? Yeah. I've gone to some sketchy ones where I'm like, do you need to call my pharmacy? And they're like, no. Like, do I need a parent present?
Can we talk about how doctors are the people in the world who literally don't give a shit about you the most. And they're supposed to be the ones who are helping you. When they walk in, they don't even make eye contact. They're like a fuck boy. They're 40 minutes late. Yeah. Like this is routine. They're like walking in already washing their hands with like, and I get offended by it a little bit because I'm like, okay, you know what happened in the room before that? Like you're immediately washing your hands now. Yeah.
And then my favorite thing is how they ask you these questions so casually and I'll know where they're like, are you depressed? And I'm like,
Yeah. Warm me up a little before you just go for the jugular. But also I don't, they're like being serious and I don't know if they're kidding. Like whenever I get the like, are you, do you think you're depressed? Like question. I'm always like, yeah, but who isn't? Like you, what's the crazier thing is if you showed me five people who came in here and answered that question with no. You answered yes. Yes. Obviously. Yes. Next. Also when they asked me if I smoke, I say no.
And they always make me feel like I'm lying or like I feel like I'm lying. I feel like they think I have a jewel like hiding up my butthole. Well, because I usually am lying. Make a son of your business. They'll be like weed. And I'm like, no. And they're like jewel. And I'm like, no. And I'm like, why are you making it like I grow marijuana? Yeah. They make it feel like you're a legit drug addict. It's kind of like whenever I walk through the airport.
I feel like I did something wrong. You think that you have cocaine in your pocket. You're like, I've never done cocaine, but why is it in my pocket every time I'm at the airport? Also, every girl with a DHK bag is like shaking since your story. I went through it again in the airport using that bag in Canada. Like I was really testing the waters and I was fine.
But I will say, in Canada, when my bag was going through, the guy that was looking on the camera, my bag was in there and he looked over to be like, whose bag is this? And then I think he saw me and then he let it go through. He's like, she can't handle the admin taking this plane down. Like,
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Are you kidding? The peach iced tea? Are you kidding? And then they have a little fun facts. They didn't need to do that. Actually, Snapple has their version of a road trip going on right now. It's called a road sip. They're kicking it off in New York on Tuesday, August 15th at the Oculus Plaza in the financial district. And I'm going to actually be there partnering with them. I'm so excited. I'm going to
Be there, vibing, drinking, chugging. It's just iconic. It's so New York. And it's like a fun way to celebrate the summer. So come through Tuesday, August 15th at the Oculus Plaza. I also, before we get to Lizzo, because we haven't even touched, there's a way to find out who is stalking your Instagram. How? Like, you know when you see just like a random username? Yeah. And you don't know who it is?
You take that username and you put it into like the login for Instagram and it'll say, you say forget password and then it'll show you like the ending of the email address that they use connected with it. So you have to have a hunch, right?
that you know who someone's fake Instagram profile is, and then if you take their username, say forgot password, it'll show you part of their email address, and then you can kind of see if it's... But what if the person made up a fake email address? If you're making a fake profile, you should be making a fake email too. If you're really a troll, you should troll. It's not the best advice I've ever given. If you want to be diabolical and evil, I'll show you how to be diabolical and evil. You're like...
You're like, you're playing checkers. I'm playing fucking chess, bitch. You're like, that is stupid. You're going to make a fake profile and use HannahBurner at gmail.com, you idiot. Just came from my throat. You would get us caught. If we murdered someone, you would get us fucking caught. Look, I saw a TikTok and I thought it was smart. I don't even have a fence though, which is like,
But I'm like, I shouldn't. I just, I don't even. No, it's better. I haven't had my Finsta in a while either. And it like, it's better to not have one. It's cleansing. Okay. Let's talk about Lizzo. I mean, where were you?
my god I think I messaged you about it did I message you I just you know those like zeitgeist moments like when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock I got I haven't felt like that since that yeah this made me I remember being like oh my god I have to talk about this because the it's giving Chrissy Teigen and that like everything she represents people are coming for her for yes but I'm very open-minded in this I need to get the research right
Okay, what are you, what would you say in particular you're open-minded about? Like, you're open-minded about hearing her side, or you're open-minded about, like, let's not immediately cancel, let's listen, then cancel, or, like, what? When you actually look at the report, it's a lot of, like, her, the, like, head dance lady who was being wild, like, trying to get people to convert to her religion or something. Yeah.
We're in entertainment. Like, part of entertainment is, like, you go out after. And, like, I do... Like, maybe these people, like, felt uncomfortable. Like, I think there's possibilities that a lot of things are true here. But the whole, like...
this disgruntled employee going after the person with money like has happened before. Right. I just try to think both sides like could Lizzo be a huge asshole? Yes. Could these people kind of like not like her and she did some fucked up stuff and now they're suing her ass to make money? Yes. That could be true too. I just feel like so many men have probably done so much worse. Right. I think there's always like two sides to every story.
I think the fact that she hired that like really intense lawyer. Not a good look. Is not a good sign just in terms of like she was probably like, OK, I need to be the most protected ever. You want to know what? It made me sad because there are so many things like I feel like in the world that like give women specifically like hope.
on certain things. And then it's almost like it gets like torn out from under us. So Lizzo represented being you can be whatever size you are and like look beautiful and be cool and be successful and confident and do all these things. And she kind of like ripped the rug out of everyone. I also my thing with like the online stuff is that
It went from her being like the greatest to suddenly everyone being like she's the literal devil where I don't think either is true. I think that people are nuanced. I agree. She might be a bitch and that kind of sucks. You know how we talk about like toxic positivity. Yeah. I feel like there is like a toxic like women support women like feminist thing that like the people that are like hardcore saying that are the ones that like.
don't want other women to be successful. That's actually so fucking true. It's like when guys say they're a good guy, you're always like, why would you say that though? Like, obviously. Right. Like you don't have to tell people. It's like when girls are like, I support other women. I'm like, you have women chopped up in your basement. Like, yeah. Honestly, I feel like I might even be guilty of it a little bit where like, I will always be like, well, I'm a girl's girl, but I always feel like I have to preface it because I,
most girls aren't so i have to be like if you're not one like if you are gonna side with the boys like go now because i'm not gonna well not to get deep but like i wasn't very i went to some astrologer or someone and they were like you're not very connected with your feminine energy oh my gosh because when i when i was younger because you learned that when you're with your masculine energy you're like winning you're an athlete and women to me were like
Was playing against them they were I had to compete at them So it's all in my masculine energy the second I hit my feminine energy. I was creative I was loving and then I was collaborating and like the truth is I love a girl I love being a girl and the I thought to be successful I had to be in my masculine energy, but when women collaborate aka giggly squad Yeah, like we are so much stronger together and that and I learned so much from women and
And I really wasn't like that in my like teens when I was just like forced to compete all the time. And I was like suppressing my feminine energy. So like lean in. No, I love that.
I love when like you meet, do you ever like meet, not like an older woman, but I mean like older than however you are now. Like it could even be, it's like five to 10 years. It could be 15, 20, whatever. And you just like meet a woman and you're like, I want to be like you. Like I want to think the way that you think. And it like feels so, like I met a woman like not too long ago and we were like talking about like business stuff. And I was just like,
In my head, I was like, this woman's, like, so smart. And, like, I want to be like that in 10 years. Like, I want some girl to be like, oh, my God, she's so smart. And, like, she's going to help me. And, like, it does feel good. And then that, like, makes you excited to, like, have a daughter and, like, all this stuff. But, look, if Lizzo is an asshole, that fucking sucks. You know? The thing is, things could be right. Lizzo could be an asshole. And people are also trying to, like,
get money. But I'm interested to see what happens. I do think her getting the guy who like defended Chris Brown is like a weird thing to do. It's not great. It's not great.
I feel like everyone this guy's represented was guilty. Guilty. If you're like a mega, she's a mega superstar. Yeah. And a couple employees got together to be like, we hate you. You see how people can take things and make it like she's the devil. I agree. When she's done like so much good. I don't know. I haven't made a decision yet. Let me tell you though. I'm not throwing away her shapewear.
I won't do it. Oh, her shapewear is so good. No, I won't do it. I'm just interested to see what happens. We have to get more information before we get hotter takes. But yeah, we'll definitely see how it unfolds. But how crazy. We literally had stopped recording last week and then I got a text being like, did you see the Lizzo stuff? And I was like, holy Toledo.
No, it's insane. You guys, thank you so much for getting with us today. We'll sign up for a newsletter at Giggly-Squad.com. I'm going to have Paige's smoothie in this first one that's going to go out. Let's put it out on Thursday. We love you so much and talk to you later. Bye.
