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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up, my glistening gigglers? If you're sweaty because it's a hot summer, you're not sweating, you're glistening, you're sparkling, you're glowing. Yes, I don't sweat, I sparkle. That is so on brand for you. I just have extra high later on. We were very rude. Well, we actually made him earn it. Our producer, we didn't want to mention him and bring him into the gigglyverse before he like, I don't know, showed his stripes. Right. And he's been on the mic a little bit, and I think it's finally time to introduce Chris to the gigglers.
Gigglers, say hi to Chris. Chris, say hi to the gigglers. Hello, gigglers. I love Chris. And do you want to know why I have so much love for a straight man? Yeah. What is the word? So much admiration. Do you know how many times he has to get up and walk down the stairs here and open the door for people? The bar is so low for men. If he was a woman, he would never have said that. Never. I would have been like dude in heels. Chris, are you single? Yes. Good.
Good for you. How old are you? 26. What's your sign? Don't pretend you don't know what your sign is. No, I know what it is. It's just controversial. Oh, Gemini? Nope. Scorpio? Nope. Cancer? Nope. Okay, I feel like those are... Taurus. Is that controversial? It doesn't get the best... One girl was like, ooh, I can't. No, no, no. It wasn't just one. It wasn't just one, but yeah. What are you looking for in a woman, Chris?
Jesus, that's a loaded question. Very simple question. Blonde or brunette, really, is what we're at. So he passes the test. So you're in love with us and you just haven't said it yet. No, you're mad at Chris because he sides with me. Yeah, he does side with you. So what did I side with you on? It was one time that I felt like a little ostracized from the group. But it's fine. It's fine. The last producer, though, who I think got fired because he called, he said I look like Kim Kardashian.
The guy with the blonde hair? Yeah, someone. I don't think he got fired, but he moved on. But someone was like, he's clearly... Obsessed with you. He's deranged. He's mentally ill. We're going to get him out of this company. Okay.
Also, what are you drinking? Yeah, this is like basically like a crackhead drink that I have here. It's just cold brew espresso. I didn't have any coffee mug to bring in. He has black coffee in a plastic water bottle. This is... Is that... It's cold? Yeah, it's cold. Or it's lukewarm? No, no, no. It's like ice cold. This is my question. Do we have the ick or is that the hottest thing I've ever seen? I kind of feel like it's like...
Raw, manly resources. Yeah, where if you're dating Chris and you somehow find yourself in a pickle, he'll figure it out. He'll throw iced coffee in a water bottle and get to where he needs to go. It looks like he could smash his head through a wall right now and survive, and that's kind of hot. This is what he needs to do to prepare for one hour of giggly squat. He's like, I need to just... What, you don't like macadamia nut milk? No. You don't like any nut milks? You don't like regular milk? Do you have IBS? No.
So you're not relatable. No. You know what I want to do so badly with anyone, any guy? What? Did you see that thing on TikTok that said like if guys put their balls in soy sauce, like and like it's in soy, like you get a bowl, you put soy sauce in it. What is your algorithm? They put their balls in soy sauce. While they're in the soy sauce, they're supposed to be able to taste it in their mouth.
Trying that tonight. Yeah, like I want to know so badly. I feel like guys would lie though because they already lie about blue balls. They would lie about that. They're just trying to get girls to do something with their balls. Chris, how long did it take you to do your hair this morning? Not long. I just throw some stuff in it. What stuff? Like a paste. Sperm? Yeah, sperm. Like a pomade. Macadamia nut milk. Macadamia nut milk.
Okay, okay, enough. Enough jokes. I'm really excited because I feel like we have a lot of men to talk about on this pod, so I can't wait for Chris's opinion. Yes, because Chris, you're defending all men today. Awesome. No pressure. My favorite job. I have to say, I do have terrible taste in men. Yeah. I like to go for really hot men because I'm shallow and have my own insecurities, and I will not care if they do horrible things until I have a mental breakdown, and then I get out of it. Yeah.
You have an even more fucked up situation. Thank you. You go for all kinds of guys. Yeah. Good looking, not good looking. Yeah. And they've all proved to be horrible.
First Armie Hammer. If I publicly endorse a male celebrity, just know in six months to a year, something fucked up is going to come out about him. And I don't know if I'm doing that to them or if I just have this really horrible radar where I'm like, that's an awful person. I'll fall in love with them. Or you have this manifestation witch quality where you're like, if he's not with me, he's not going to be with anyone. Yeah, is that what I'm?
doing? I thought Jonah Hill was such like a niche, cute crush to have. And I was so It was like a thrift store. Find me like that one sweater. It was like I was going thrifting that day. Pick up a Jonah Hill. Other people have looked at it but they don't see what you see in it and you're like I can make an outfit from this. Where like Armie Hammer I was like
He's giving Upper East Side. It's giving rich. It's giving old money country club. And I was like, I'll vibe with it. He was giving unattainable, but you were like, I can attain this. He eats people's meat off their ribs. So Jonah Hill, at first, I was like, okay, ex-girlfriend hates him. I get it. But then it's become... I just didn't think I was going to wake up.
that morning and have everyone against Jonah Hill. Like, I just didn't see that for the world. Here's my... I have two very different schools of thought. I've been hanging out with my boyfriend the past couple of days, so I feel like he's...
Processing? Done something to my brain where, like, I have one school of thought where it's coming from him and I know it's wrong. Oh, no. But I'm going to say it on the pod. Oh, no, Craig. But then I have, like, my normal school of thought. Also, Craig and I have been texting, so, like, I'm on, like, a pro-Craig run. Are you?
Yeah, we talk about tennis. Oh, my. It's been on all the past days of my life. Whenever I call you, I feel like I need to tell you I've been texting him where it's like we've been cheating. Yeah, I get it. Like, I'm like, hey, it's Raquel. We just talked about tennis. Nothing sexual about the balls. Whatever. Actually, right as I walked in the door on Sunday, he was like, hey, I've been texting Hannah. And I was like...
At least we're open and honest. But now it's like freaking me out more. Like, am I the dumb woman that's like, oh, they told me about their affair and I chose to not believe it? We're literally just friends. We just like get along. So I was saying to him like, oh my God, have you seen all the Joan Hill stuff? Like, that's crazy. He seems like a fucking monster.
Craig said to me, but why is she coming – why did she say it now that he's like moved on and is having a baby with another woman? Like what was it – Triggered it. Yeah, basically like what triggered her to say it now? Like does she just want to ruin his current relationship? But –
Which, okay, okay. Well, yeah, there might be a motive to it, but that doesn't change what was done. Correct. And, like, doesn't, like, she doesn't need something...
Also, like, this podcast is about revenge. Yeah. And I think we should have her on. There is something to be said that, like, when you do, like, a man goes to therapy and we're, like, we praise that. We're, like, oh, my God, yeah, he's in therapy. To then take everything he's learned in therapy. And weaponize it. And weaponize it. And then start using, like, therapy terms. I remember Craig went to therapy one time.
And then like the next three days was like using therapy terms on me. And I was like, stop going. Like quit. Because you're, it's not, it's not, you're spinning it. And you're acting holier than thou because you had a 45 minute conversation where you talked about yourself. Right. Where you just had one man that was like guessing you to death to just like get you to open up. Just the way he was talking to her in terms of like the boundaries and like what she could post, what she couldn't post. Here's my whole thing that triggered me.
Jonah Hill knew that this girl, I don't even know, what is her name? I think it's Sarah. Sarah?
I don't know. Chris, what's her name? It's definitely Sarah. You don't support women in the arts. Regardless of what her parents named her, she was a surfer. He started dating her. She was a surfer already. He slid into her DMs because he saw a hot photo of her surfing. She was already posting surfing pictures. She was already posting bathing suit pictures. He likes the bathing suit photo, and that's why he slid into her DMs.
Sarah. Chris, is it with an H or an A? Definitely an H. Okay, he's right. Okay, Chris. I apologize. The Sarahs get mad about that. H, no H. It's a whole thing in Sarah country. Yeah, it's like Hannah country. But Hannah's pretty more like everyone knows that H at the end is the right word. Yeah, right. A pound drum.
Um, so that was my first thing that I was like, that's nutty because I feel like I've experienced that too, where it's like, oh my God, you're on reality TV. That's so crazy. You should stop being on reality TV. That's disgusting. But it's like, but you, okay, here we are. So I don't, I didn't love that. I don't love, um,
That then she was showing pictures where he was, like, in boxers and, like, posted a picture. And she was like, what about that? Like, why can't I also do the same thing? So all in all, Team Sarah. My biggest red flag, because you know I don't like to read. Right. And I was like, I'm not reading all these messages. Yeah. Was the way he was texting her where he was like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.
If you're spacing new paragraph. He was having full like essays or he was doing the like, like rapid attack where it was like four words, four words, four words. I don't fuck with that in relationships. Yeah. If you want to fight with me, call me or see me in person. Don't rage text me and just get your shit out. And then like, I have to read it. That's like girlfriend homework.
And, like, your phone's just buzzing with this angry man. And also, if you're going to say something really fucked up, fucking voice note it. Yes, voice note me. Like, I don't do this whole rage text fighting. Like, I get it in your early 20s when you're, like, drunk at the club. It's funny. Yeah. But not when you're in your 30s. Like, call someone and speak to them like an adult. Send a voice note saying, fuck you. Abby from Broad City. Yeah. Did I say it? No. What's her name? Who's the one who's...
Chris? I know who you're talking about. Alana Glazer goes on TikTok and said the most intelligent, well-said reason. Because some men were like, he has boundaries. He has boundaries. He's just saying her boundaries. I was very taken back by the men that were coming out being like, what? He said what his boundaries are, which is so funny. Because A, you message the girl who surfs, and then you're telling her you don't like when she surfs or shows bikinis, but you liked it, and that's how you got her. Two,
Boundaries come from you. If I say, Paige, I want to have boundaries with you, I don't tell you what to do. I say what my boundaries are. I don't like doing this. I don't feel comfortable going to this party. You can't say, I don't feel comfortable when you do that. That's not your boundaries. That's you controlling someone else.
Oh my God. Signed, sealed, delivered. See you in large claims court. No, seriously. Boundaries are saying what you feel comfortable with. See you in Supreme Court. Now, my next thing is, what do you think his current... I was thinking that. ...girlfriend slash baby mama, do you think she's like somewhere...
laying in bed, reading all of these messages, reading all of this stuff, being like, fuck, I'm either one, going through this right now, two, doesn't realize that she's in it, or three, like, is so like, oh, he doesn't treat me like that. Well, it's possible the girl he's with now, like, she's like, well, I don't surf because I'm fine. I stay from the water. Sharks have been biting people out in Long Island. I don't fuck with the ocean. I'm good. Also,
Just to clarify, Sarah's not posting like bathing suit pictures on a beach where she's like kneeling and like her tits are out. Which are fine. Which are also stunning gorgeous if I could do it. She's like on a surfboard and like half of her butt cheek is showing because she's in a fucking bathing suit. Like she's in like a wetsuit. Yeah. So he. She's literally being an athlete.
Literally. And I do think with her, it takes time to process. Yeah. And also, it's kind of like the Armie Hammer thing. You're dating a celebrity. I always have a theory that if men don't like that you are wearing risque outfits or you're posting in bathing suit pictures, my theory is, and you know what it's going to be. They cheat. They're gay. Pfft.
I also think every man is gay, but I really think those kinds of men are. I think it's because they don't trust you because they don't trust themselves. I think he's doing sketchy shit. Like, you know how you're only jealous? Like, you accuse your partner of cheating when you've cheated? Right. Yes. That's what it's giving. Like, what's he doing in the DMs that he thinks if she posts a photo where other guys will like it, she would just leave him or something? It's deep insecurity. Yes. Were you ever in a relationship where
Where someone tried to control you? Yeah, many. What are some examples? All of them. I'm always trying to be... I'm always, like, one step away from being in a cult. I feel like also controlling relationships...
sometimes get different as you get older. Like I, everyone has like their 19 year old boyfriend who like controlled the fuck out of them. Like, yeah, I had that where he was like crazy and said he would like chop me up and bury me in Vermont. And I was like, why would we pick Vermont? Like, you know, neither of us are even from there, but whatever. That was his own situation. Was that Armie Hammer?
No, but like he, that one, now that I think back on that, that's a wild thing to say to your girlfriend. Like, look, I'll kill you and chop you up and no one will. And you're in the group text and you're like, hey, has anyone ever dealt with this? They didn't have group text back then. It was like AIM.
Your way message is like, if I'm not here, I'm in Vermont. I'm in Vermont. Someone please look for me. But yes, when I first started on reality TV, I feel like the guy that I was dating was like, oh my God, this is so crazy. This is so cool. You're like, this is so good for you. I'm so proud of you, blah, blah, blah. And then like six months in, he was like, well, I can't be with someone who's on reality TV. And I was like,
Okay, well, I don't know what you want me to do about it. But in my head, I was like, oh, well, I shouldn't do this anymore. I can't do this. He's right. He knows what's best for me. Yep.
I feel like it was very like, I'm a tennis player. I don't let boys distract me. Yeah. And I hate being controlled. Like, I don't fuck with rules. No. And I think like those kind of controlling guys could sense that for me. Yeah. Because even if they would try, I just wouldn't listen to them. Yeah. And I think I've gotten out of relationships when a guy saw that like he can't control me because I'm literally a feral creature. That's why I was so confused on why everyone hated the idol. Yeah.
Because in reality, she was getting controlled by a guy and then flipped it. And then she started controlling the fuck out of the entire situation. But it still made like her look evil at the end. No, she was evil. But like she didn't have to be evil. It could have showed like that she's empowered. Yeah. And that she's smart and that she was getting revenge.
Yes, which we love. But I do feel like people are just mad that it was supposed to be more female perspective and that The Weeknd kind of made it like he's the victim. And it's like, what?
Got it. Okay, that's why people were mad that they made it that he then ended up being the next step. But Lily Rose Depp can do nothing wrong, and I stan her, and I listened to her song this morning while I was getting ready. Can you believe Liz, Timothy Chalamet went from Lily Rose Depp to Kylie Jenner? Can you believe that Lily Rose Depp is so over men, she's a lesbian? A lesbian.
And that's the moral of the story. Just be a lesbian. I feel like I've talked about being a lesbian more than ever in the past two weeks. I don't know why. I could totally see you having...
A girlfriend. You know, Kaylin Carter? Yeah. When she went out with Miley Cyrus, that was like a moment. Here's the thing. I think about it all the time where I'm like, I'd love to be a lesbian. I'd love to like share clothes with someone. I'd love to like share shoes. I'd love to like have one joint closet. I'd love to hang out with them all day. Like we'd watch the same things. And then I realized that's just a friend. Like that's what I described a friend. She would just like go down on you all day.
I wouldn't be opposed to that either, but I know I couldn't lay on the couch and be like, babe, what do you want to eat? And it be a girl. It's emotion. You couldn't have the emotional. I couldn't have an emotional. But I do think you could meet like one of like Taylor Strecker. Yeah. She met Taylor Donahue and she's like, I don't know if I'm gay, but like this soul and this person I'm into. Yeah.
See, I feel like on the spectrum of like gay and straight, because I think it is totally a spectrum, I'd say I lean straight. Oh, I thought you were coming out right now. Imagine, make that the title of this episode. Paige comes out. I think that you're saying your DMs are open. I don't think it would, I could do it. One thing I do love about Craig. Mm-hmm.
Try and think of it. Why is Chris laughing so hard? You guys were just talking about how you're texting back and forth and all that stuff. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm, like, really... Thank you for looking out. I got you, I got you. Thank you for looking out. Chris was like, hey, I just have to say something. This has gone too far. I mean, obviously he has his moments where, like, he wants to do things his way because he's, like, a human. Yeah. But, like, he definitely lets you do you and, like, loves you for you. Yeah, because...
Which is the bare minimum. I'm his mom. Literally. Yeah, like he... You're not gonna tell your mom what to do. You're his lifeline. She has to compliment me. I feed her.
Like, I let him sleep at my apartment. See, Des will give me, because he's smarter than me, will tell me, like, advice and be like, you shouldn't do this or you should do this. And if I don't listen, it goes wrong. He goes, you never fucking listen to me. Yeah. But that's not controlling. I have converted Craig, though, in that this weekend he stayed at my apartment and he is usually one to be, like, out and about and talking and, like, chatting and, like, socializing. Yeah.
He stayed at my apartment. He didn't leave for 48 hours. I got home and he goes, I get it. Like you rot in this couch and like you turn on the TV, you light some candles. And I'm like, yeah, this way I don't go anywhere. The thing is, is I'll go out. I went out recently and I, you know what? The vibe is not like that great. Like maybe there's some people you're not that close to. And I had like one or two interactions where I wasn't like close.
You weren't 100% about them. It wasn't your best work. Yeah, it wasn't my best work. Yeah. And it wasn't my fault it was my best work. They were not giving me the in to be my full beautiful self. I get that. And I got home and I was just like, I wish I stayed home tonight because I fucking, that was a C minus. Yeah. I feel like people thought I was weird. Yeah. So it's like. Getting home after an interaction like that and you're like, am I weird? Am
Am I? It was one of those group hangs where like, I like some of them were like friends with my ex and I just like was in my own head. And then I was like trying to like say some stuff and I'm like, they didn't like, and then by the end I was like, no one. Yeah. You're like, I'm getting an Uber and no one even cared. You were like calling it.
That's when you know if it's your friends or not. If your friends see you calling an Uber, they're like, what the fuck? Where are you going? And then you're leaving and you're like, should I say bye? Do they even care? You're like, okay, my Uber's here. And they're like, oh, okay, great. See ya. So sometimes I'm like, oh, socializing with the wrong energy is not always best. But then when you socialize with the right energy, it's great. But I'm always tired after. Always. Regardless. I feel like every time I socialize and then I get home, I have to
play back the entire interaction and see like where did I fuck up where like and that anxiety alone I'd rather avoid it one way I get out of it is I think from my perspective did I hear anything that people did I have any interactions with me that was so bad that I now think of them differently and most of the time it's no okay I either felt a type way about the person or I didn't like
So I'm like, they're not thinking about me. Okay, speaking of horrible men, let's talk about Kiki Palmer. So I like missed the original interaction. Was it a tweet? It was on his Instagram story, I believe, that he posted. And he's with her. He's her boyfriend. They have a baby together. They just had a baby. Is he her boyfriend? Yeah, they're like in a relationship.
And basically he would say she went to the Usher concert and she wore like a very normal outfit. It's also very into wear like a mesh dress right now. It's just like, yeah, very into be like see through. And she's stylish. Like she's she does every single genre of job. I also met her. Yeah. And she was the coolest, funniest person. I bet. It was like six years ago.
I saw her getting out of a car one time. No, she's... And I was like, that's a cool girl. She's a genius. She's everything. She's obviously... She's a Kiki Palmer thing. She's paying his bills because what's...
Your allowance is cut, bro. Yeah, like what does he do? I don't even know his name. It's honestly irrelevant. Chris, what's his name? We don't care. No idea. He basically posted being like, you know, if you're a wife and a mother and you shouldn't be like wearing these outfits. It's giving Jonah Hill. It's giving Jonah Hill and it's this like, who do you think you are to criticize the person that feeds you? Like you wouldn't have a home.
We, this is a new verb now. It's called Jonah-hilling. If a guy literally says anything to you that like is clearly his own insecurities to try to control you, you go, please don't Jonah-hill me. I'm just also, there is a- Is this the Jonah-hill you want to die on?
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I feel like I now have to go through a breakup. Like I had to go through a breakup with Armie Hammer. Now I have to go through a breakup with Jonah Hill. No, what does this entail?
Do you have to sage your apartment? It's just like, do I think he's funny anymore? Like, is he done in movies? Like, am I never seeing him again? Like, what? I don't have any closure. Yeah, creatively, what is this? Creatively, what's going to happen? We know his mom. We know his mom. Who we love. And that's usually what it is. Like, when you're dating someone, you're like, I can't stay because I love their family. But this is one of those things where you look at the mom and she might be like, I know
He's a fucking asshole. Yes. And you're like, it's not your fault. That's probably one of people don't talk about is one of the best connections is when a mom of the person you're dating says, get out. No, I've broken up with a guy and the mom's like, I would if I could. Right?
I've had so many times where I'm looking at her, she's looking at me, and she's like, I'm like, is this? And she's like, I know. I had a boyfriend one time, and his mom said, if I were you, I would cheat on him. And I was like, okay. And she was like, seriously. Because the thing is, sometimes...
They're so over their husbands. Yeah. And the son has habits of their husband. So when she sees him doing it to you, you look at her and she's like, do you want this to be your life? Yeah. Because I totally respect if you don't because I'm over it.
And it's not her fault. I think that we don't put enough emphasis on when we start dating a guy, looking at, like, what's the mom's life like? Yes. But also there's two types of moms. There's the DeLulu moms. Yep. And they're the ones who tend to be, like, a little more subservient. Yep. They aren't speaking their mind. Yep. And they just kind of, it's the dad's home. Oh, wow.
Yes. Gross. And those we do not fuck with. You want to go into a home, the mom's in charge, the mom's calling the shots. Wait, that is like something to look out for. You have to walk into a home and know that the mom is in charge. And I don't mind like for in my household. Yeah. If you first walk in, it looks like Des is in charge. Yeah. And that's what I like. He's doing the admin, he's doing the admin. But overall, I'm...
I am the pulse. Yeah. I like for Craig to be scared to ask me questions. Like, I like to instill fear. Like, hey, do you, like, I like that he thinks I'm always really busy, that he's like, do you have a second that I can just, and I'm like, yes, I do. Proceed. Like, I want you to increasingly get more and more scared of me every single day. Why are Craig's text messages going to come out with you on Instagram?
Actually, one time we had just started dating and we had gotten into a really, really bad fight. I feel like you text fight. And I thought about it. I was like, oh my God, if he screenshotted these.
I would be done for. That is also what's hard about when people try to, like, cancel people is when you take— But usually if girls are texting and saying a bunch of crazy shit to their boyfriend, 95% of it is true. There's a reason. Where's the fucking lie? I always say, you know the girl who cut off her husband's dick? What did we all think? What did he do? No one was like, oh, God. We go, what did this motherfucker do? Yes. She tossed it into a field. Yes.
Like cutting it was not enough. She's like, I need him to look through a field for his floppy little dick. Can you die from that? He definitely needs to go to the hospital from the bleeding. Why did you ask that? Chris is shaking right now. Chris is screaming for him. Because if you don't die, it's like, look. No, it's like Game of Thrones. Remember when you heard about the Onyxes? I had like 100 questions about the Onyxes. You know what an Onyx is? No, I don't even know what that is.
Am I the only? Did you watch Game of Thrones? No. Okay, Game of Thrones, there's this thing called onyxes. And I was like, what's an onyx? And they were like, he has no dick. And I was like, what? And it's like for soldiers. They would chop off their dick so they'd be focused. But then they'd have romances and I'd be like, how are they fucking? Yeah, they're just not. I mean, a lot of cunnilingus. Oh, like he's just going down on her. Probably. Probably.
But how, but like, does he even get, it's like a dog. Yes. Do they still have the urge? Well, it's like, you know, like when a dog's tail is cut off, but it's still kind of wagging. Yes, that's what it is.
No, that's so bad. It has like the boner, like the imaginary boner. Like it's boning, but it doesn't actually bone. If I had a nickel. I could not get over this Onyx. And I was like, yeah, he's an Onyx. And I'm like, I have so many fucking questions. And that's like a real term or that's a Game of Thrones term? I think it's a, Chris, can you Google the Onyx thing? A real thing that people are doing? I mean, definitely in Game of Thrones. And that was like the least freaky thing happening on Game of Thrones. No, literally. Yeah.
Okay, so. But I do think some people, like, in the heat of the moment can say crazy shit. Yeah. And you take it out of context and anyone could look, like, so fucking mean or, like, because you don't know what led up to that. Right. But the stuff he was saying was problematic in, like, a very upsetting way. Yeah. With, like, the words he was using and what he was telling her to do. It's literally, like, a guy being like,
Telling me to stop playing tennis. Right. That's why I was like really personally. It's like, hey, can you stop like holding that grip so sexually when you're hitting the ball? Yeah.
or like wearing those little shorts when you're playing tennis like when I first started dating Craig one of the things that he didn't realize was like in New York City we're just the girls are wearing tank tops we're doing no bras our nipples are out if you really look like you could see the outline of an areola like that's just a thing that we do like we're walking around whatever and Craig like didn't he like the first time he ever saw me do it he was like oh are you gonna you're
you're going to go out like that? And I was like, like what? But like I would never do that in Charleston. Yeah, it's just culture. But it's not like he was like, oh, I don't like when you go out and your nipples are out. Like the first thing he said was like, wow, I can't wait to watch how many people like look at your nipples and then like look at you. And I'm like, yeah, count it. Let me know at the end of the day. See, Des will be the opposite where I'll wear my cargo pants and a baggy shirt and sweatshirt and he'll be like, going out like that? Yeah.
I'm like, yeah, it's comfortable. And he's like, you look like a middle schooler who just got detention. And I'm like, I'm comfortable. See, me and Des are the same. We'll put an outfit on. I'm like, is that what we picked today? Do we feel like that matches? If I was Sarah, I would have said, babe, I am so, so sorry. And I would have put on like...
an Eskimo outfit and then gone in the ocean gone surfing and taken photos and then people be like what the fuck is going on I'd be like oh I was told that this is what I should wear yeah my boyfriend wanted me to cover up more so I just wanted to cover all my bases yeah it's but what the thing with Jonah Hill is it's really gotten momentum I know I didn't think it was gonna take off I mean people are up in arms about it you know why
Because he did that therapy documentary. So it's like Chrissy Teigen. People got so mad at Chrissy Teigen because she came off like she was everyone's best friend. Yeah. And then was like bullying people sometimes. Yeah. And people were... If she was just bullying people, people would be like, yeah, Chrissy Teigen's sometimes a bitch. But she had...
marketed herself as everyone's best friend that you could trust. He marketed himself as this guy who works on himself. He's just the cuddly guy who is always everyone's best friend. Trying to work on himself so he can be the best partner, best friend for people. But then people said, looking back at the documentary, it's A, very unprofessional, their relationship. B, what are you trying to say out of it? Part of it was a little narcissistic, like,
That Jonah Hill's like, I've learned so much from this man to be so knowledgeable about life. I want to share it to the world. What do you think they're talking about today? Like, what do you think the therapist is like? Yeah, he's like, you got us in a real pickle. The therapist blocked him.
He's like, I think we also need to normalize like sometimes therapists are wacko. I had one therapist where I was like, am I crazy or is this bitch nuts? I had a therapist where I was trying to get out of it. Yeah. Which because you get to a point where you're like, OK, I've talked about this for a year and a half. How do you break up with your therapist? I need to move on. So I sent her this long text. I had a great time. This was so much fun.
It's not me, it's you. Hey, we had such good times together. And I literally was like, and she like, if I missed a session, I'd get charged. Yeah. And sometimes I would randomly get a flight or I had a crazy schedule. So I was like, my schedule's a little too crazy and I feel so good. We've done a year and a half. Now it's time for me to kind of like take off the training wheels and exist a little. And I'll come back with more issues in a year. Yeah.
And she's like, what is the protocol? Like people don't talk about that. Like, should you be in therapy for the rest of your fucking life? Whenever I've done it, I always get to a burnout eventually where once I start going on and I don't really know what to talk about. And then I start trying to come up with problems and then end the therapy session more upset than I started. Yeah. You're beating a dead horse. Exactly. And I'm just like, I'm also like a therapy. I want to be like.
I'm with a therapist. I think I'm doing a good job all the time. So I'm like, hi, this is what we should work on. I never am just like, hey, what's up? And let her figure it out. So she responds and she was like, hey, like we need to talk about this. Like you can't, this is very you to just like. This is so you. You're obviously having an episode. No, she literally was like, this is so you to not like face the possible like.
kind of awkward interaction of like ending this with me so let's hop on the call like we have to like talk this out so did you so i was like yes because i'm people pleaser so when i go on and she clearly convinces me to keep going and then like five more sessions later i texted her i was like i can't do this anymore but she basically didn't let me break up with her no i i
I think that's weird. How would you break up with... You would just ghost them? I ghost. Yeah. I've ghosted many a therapist, I feel like. I, one time, was dating this guy and he made me go to couples therapy, which...
I should have fucking known that. If you're going to couples therapy before you're married. It was literally like month three. And he was like, I think that like you need to be in therapy full time. But also like we should do couples therapy with my therapist like once a week. And I was like, am I that fucked up of a person that you think I need to be in multiple hours of therapy a week? But I...
I was like brainwashed. I was like, yeah, no, you're right. You're making me such a better person. That therapist wanted to fuck my boyfriend. Like I was convinced because she always agreed with him. Also, a boyfriend would never want to do a couples therapy where he didn't know he was going to look good in it. Yeah. It's almost like he wanted to prove to you like, see, see. And I remember the moment that I ghosted both of them, honestly. That's amazing. No, because couples therapy becomes who's going to win the therapy session. And I was like...
I was like, I will be damned if I'm sitting here and both of you are saying I need to change. Like, I know I'm not the fucking crazy one here. You go, are we going to talk about how he's gay? No. Literally. I was like, we're going to dig. Let's fucking dig. Okay? No, I remember this one. I was like, I feel like this is more than just mommy issues. This one, guys.
I dated a therapist who was a man, red flag. And he would, I would get- No, I can't have a male therapist. In the beginning, he called me and he was like, so I've been having trouble-
The therapist has been having trouble? No, no, the boyfriend. And he was like, and then my therapist said, it's because like you're really healthy for me and I haven't been in a healthy relationship and that's why I'm so scared. And then he would always, after the therapy session, I would be like hoping the therapist has something nice about me. Like the therapist doesn't know shit about me, only knows me from his, what he's saying. So the whole time I was like, please therapist,
tell him to be with me. Yeah. And it was this like crazy control thing where I just wanted to be with the guy so bad and then eventually I woke up one morning and I was like, I'm out. No therapist can be toxic. Well, I have a theory and this is not for everyone. Okay. But there's certain careers that people go in because they snapped.
There's three of them. Okay. This means like... Because they've snapped emotion. Yes. Like this is where you go. Okay. Yoga teacher. Yep. Therapist. Real estate agent. Yes.
No one's ever become a real estate agent going through a good time. No. It's always, they've always had to pivot and they're like, I'll do real estate now. Which, a great career. A great career. But no one wakes up and was like, like for example, Ryan Serhant wanted to be an actor. Yeah. Nothing was working. He was like, fuck, I'll try real estate. No one wakes up and goes and takes the real estate. No one in a good place becomes a yoga teacher. At 25 when I had no job and I quit my job selling t-shirts,
what was I going to do? Take a yoga teaching certificate class except I couldn't touch my toes. I would pay. I would pay. Because I like motivating people. Thousands and thousands of dollars to see you run one yoga session.
Like just picturing you at the front of the, okay everyone, get in with your mats. So you are worthy. You are worthy and we're going to connect and don't push yourself. You can be in child's pose the whole time, Paige.
And no one will judge you. You're just judging yourself. No. But you know what? They are good to have as friends. But I know. I do need a friend who's a. Oh, my God. Ray Romano has the funniest bit about like how your friends change throughout your life. Yeah. And they were like, when you're in your teens, you need someone with a car. Yeah. When you're in your 20s, you need someone who's like a drug dealer. Yeah. When you're in your 30s, you need someone who's.
a lawyer, I think. And then when you're 40s, you need someone who's a doctor. Yeah. And then when you're older, you need someone with a car again. I mean,
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I'm sending my Aunt Tina money directly to her bank account in the Philippines with Western Union. She's the self-proclaimed bingo queen of Manila, and I know better to interrupt her on bingo night, even to pick up cash. Sending money direct to her bank account is super fast, and Aunt Tina gets more time to... Bingo!
Be the bingo queen. Western Union. Send money in-store directly to their bank accounts in the Philippines. Services offered by Western Union Financial Services, Inc. NMLS number 906983 or Western Union International Services, LLC NMLS number 906985. Licensed as money transmitters by the New York State Department of Financial Services. See terms for details. Get that. Oh, okay. We have to discuss threads, which I've decided is... I literally only downloaded it because I saw that you downloaded it. Okay, so...
I checked to see if you downloaded it because I was going to message you and be like, download it. And you downloaded it like right when I downloaded it. And I was like, okay, she's on her shit. I honestly, as I was doing it, I was like, I'm an advertiser's fucking dream. I was like, I just saw Hannah do this and now I'm like typing in my information. And I'm like, you know, writing, writing, writing. I have all these thought pieces on my threads. I go to your profile. I'm like, what is Paige saying on her threads? I reposted one girlfriend from college. You reposted her and she said, I'm confused. Very on brand. I'm confused. And I thought, pfft.
Perfectly put. And I kind of feel like you should keep it as that forever. But you don't have a Twitter famously. No. So this is a safe space of, like, all your Instagram people. I do think it's the DH gate of Twitter. Yeah. As in it's better and easier. But also, like, they didn't think of the eyebrow industry because threading is, like, already a thing. Like, are they trying to, like, totally take over Twitter? Like, is Twitter dead? They're trying to take over Twitter because...
A, it's like Twitter became just like scary. Yeah. Twitter felt like you say something and then like some guy in Wisconsin is like, go fuck yourself. And I was like, I don't feel comfortable. Yeah, go Badgers. Yeah, go Badgers. But with threads, you write something and immediately all your Instagram friends are commenting. Yeah. So you feel like you're in this community. My problem with it, though, is sometimes I want to know like about a topic like Twitter.
The idol. I want to write in and be like the idol and see what everyone's threading about it. But they don't have that yet. I think it's going to happen. Actually, something really scary recently, like I've to Google something. I go on TikTok.
Yeah, that's what I do. Like, not like a... Well, we're visual learners. Yeah. I'm not reading an article. I'm like, okay, I'll find a video on this. Like, and I type it into TikTok. And one of my girlfriends was like, it's not good. And I was like, what do you mean? And I was like, not for like... I don't do it for like current events. I do it for current events. But I was lying to her. I was like, yeah, not for like news stuff. Not for news stuff. No, Des called me in the morning and he was like, did you hear what happened? And I was like...
What was going on at the time? Oh, I was like the submarine and he was like, no, Russia. And I was like, whoa. And he's like, yeah, like there's a coup happening in Russia. Yeah. He's like, turn on the TV. And I was like, okay, so turn the TV. And they're like, it's no longer a coup. And I was like, you just stressed me out for no reason. Yeah. Because the coup was like 20 hours and I could have lived my life without stressing about a coup in Russia. I don't even know what a coup is, how to spell it, what's going on. My brain immediately went to, I don't know if they eat couscous in Russia. Yeah.
Don't find out about news until it becomes a meme on my TikTok or people are like, Des hears it firsthand. And then he'll get mad because I'll be like, okay, what's going on? And he's like, Google it. And I'm like, why would I Google it when you could tell me right now? When you've been dying to talk about it to anyone. Yeah, like why were you reading it if you couldn't explain it to me? Like what is your purpose on this planet? Craig like reads the news on his phone. Wait, that's cute. That's adorable. I like that. Yeah. Is it upside down? Speaking of TikTok, I got a jump scare.
Tyga and Avril Lavigne are dating. No, it's the oddest couple. Were you going to? Yes. You just read my mind. It's the craziest thing. Because if you did the actual chart, like she used to date Brody. Tyga used to date Kylie and also dated Blac Chyna who has a baby with Rob. Like it's – I want them to have one big –
Thanksgiving reality episode. 100%. Because at first I'm like, this is such different worlds. But Tyga and Chyna also have a baby. Yes. Yeah. It's just very... But I kind of love it. I kind of want them to put out a song together. I think so too. You know how I love a conspiracy theory? And have you seen that conspiracy that that's not Avril Lavigne? Yeah. Yeah.
And I still always think about it every time I see her. People think Kanye's not real and Avril Lavigne's not real. I don't think Kanye's real either. He doesn't look the same. And he grew three inches. Even if you get lipo, you still look the same. Like Amy Schumer got lipo. No one's like, that's not Amy Schumer. Right. Something weird is going on. Have you been keeping up with the Kardashians? I haven't yet. Kim, I'm going to. I like a... Kim, stop. My mom literally texted me out of nowhere and she was like, I just love Kim.
And I was like, don't talk about yourself. But the last few episodes have been good. I do have to say shout out to Kylie. I bought, I'm really obsessed with like lip hydrating stuff that has like a little color in it because I don't like to always put on like a full lip. I bought her tinted butter bomb. Okay. And it's really good. Wow. So you and Hailey are in a fight or something? What's going on? Is she not getting along with Hailey? I mean, it's just like she has road problems.
But it's fine. You have no allegiance to anyone. One final thing about guys. Yeah. A girl on TikTok said this, and I think it's so spot on. Guys are friends with girls they find attractive, and girls are friends with guys they find unattractive. Because if he's attractive, you want to fuck him. You want to fuck him. And he'll fuck you. Guys would have sex with any girl they're friends with. Well, yeah, that's a thing. Because I don't think there's no guy that's hanging out with a girl that he's not attracted to. And I've always said this. Chris, what do you think?
Do you have any girlfriends that like you've never had sex with, but like you've thought about like at one time or another, you've had a moment, like what would it be like if I had sex with her? Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Do you have any friends that are girls that you would never have sex with? Yes.
But you'll hang out with them one-on-one over your guy friends? No, no. Okay. Right. I have friends. I have friends. I'm not incriminating too much. No one said you didn't have friends. No one said that. That seems like your own thing. No one said that. You're getting... Don't Jonah Hill us. Don't get defensive. No, but I... That is so true. Like, I have guy friends, and most of my guy friends... Are ugly? No. I've either...
If they're good looking, you've had sex with them. I've had sex with some of them. Yes. But like years ago. And it's like, okay, well, well now we're just friends. But you enjoy being with them because you've, you know that like you're not going to fuck anymore and you're not attracted to them anymore because you fucked them and you were like, ugh. Right. I know, you know when a guy hangs out with you and he's like, yeah, we get along. You're always like, he's in love with me. Yeah. But like he would have sex with me. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. So we solved it. World peace. Yeah.
Finally, some dope docs. There's a Sean White doc coming out. People have to watch. Ashley Madison doc on Hulu. Oh, yeah. I saw the preview for that. I watched the first episode and it was a little...
I'm going to say something. I feel like the Hulu docs, they could punch him up a little. No, you're so... I was bored. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I got it. It's Ashley Madison. And then it was really sad. Hulu docs almost give like People magazine docs. It's like, I feel like you could up this value. A thousand percent. A thousand percent. So like Ashley Madison, watch it, but you're not going to be like floored and it's kind of sad at one point. Okay. Rock Hudson. Have you heard of Rock Hudson? He's like the hottest...
Wait, have you heard the Garth Brooks conspiracy theory? That he's a murderer? Or a taste in men.
Who did he murder? It's like a deep, you gotta be deep on like conspiracy TikTok and you know I am. But Tom Segura does like a whole like bit about it and people comment his Instagram on Garth Brooks being like, where are the bodies? Because people go missing from his shows and they're like, Garth Brooks is murdering all these people. And I just think it's a great. That should be the next show that The Weeknd does about a pop star who. Is it secretly a serial killer? Who brings people back to the green room and murders them. Oh.
That's a really good show. Yep. But yeah, this guy, Rock Hudson, you cannot be named Rock Hudson without being gorgeous. I do feel that.
Or a douchebag. Or a douchebag. Yeah. Braxton. But he does have, he was the star back in the day. Okay. In movies. And he was in the closet. Okay. And then got, I think he got AIDS. And it came out that he was gay and everyone was like all upset that he lied to them. And it was this whole thing. But he was incredible. And then there's a Wham documentary on Netflix. What the heck is a Wham? Wham is George Michael. Oh.
♪ Careless Whisperer ♪ - Okay. ♪ Last Christmas I gave you my heart ♪ You know Wham? - No, should I know these things? - Do you know Wham? Do you know Wham? - No. - Okay, you have to go home, play the Wham soundtrack. - How are you spelling Wham? - Okay. How would you spell Wham? - W-A-H-M, Wham?
Oh, okay. They're called Wham? Oh, okay. I know them. It's also a thousand years old. W-H-A-M. Okay. Sorry, my dyslexia had kicked in. So George Michael was in the closet during Wham. Okay. And I think he eventually comes out, yes, but then he goes on solo queer... Queer...
Oh. Immediately canceled. To do his own stuff where he sings Careless Whisperer, which is one of the great songs of all time. Freudian slip. Freudian slip. Okay. Okay, then. Sorry, I do know. Yes. Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me. Don't let the sun go down on me. No. Okay, yes. I know Wham. So then you watch that on Netflix. Yes.
Okay, and it's about him being gay. Wham is more about like, actually, we're kind of like Wham. It's about two best friends when they were, they met when they were 12 years old and they wanted to form a band. The dads were not supportive. One of the dads wasn't. Not that our dads aren't supportive. But they're like, can you stop having sex on TV? Yeah. And...
He wanted to be a doctor accountant, but he loves singing. And they gave each other confidence. Oh, nice. Like they were like, I believe in you. You're a star. Were they gay together? No, one was straight and the other one was in the closet. Oh. And they were like, Paige. Which is funny because I'm the butchiest straight girl in the world. But I think you're the most femme gay girl in the world. Yeah, like I.
I'm a lesbian straight and you're a straight lesbian. I said the other day to Craig, I was like, imagine if I had a sister and he was like, oh yeah, like that would be cool. And I was like, but imagine if, I don't know why my brain went here. I was like, imagine if she was so fucking hot, but she was like a lesbian and her girlfriend was also like so hot. And he was like,
would we have sex with them? And I was like, ew, no, that's my sister. And he was like, wait, I'm so confused. He was like, did you just get mad at me for wanting to have sex with your fake sister? I just imagined you getting like tats on your arms for a second and wearing just a wife beater with no bra. Yeah. And just being. And my hair like this. No makeup. But like gorgeous. Gorgeous. Like skin. That's the kind of lesbian I'd want to be. I'd want to be a tattooed.
Yes. Oh, now you're like feeling it. Now I'm in it. Wait, I think I have the outfit. Yeah, I'm like, I could actually pull this off amazingly. So they loved each other and they like, George Michael ended up going solo, which not saying that one of us is going to go solo. We're still on Wham? But he basically was like, I couldn't be where I was if it wasn't for the other person believing in me. But he cut him right out. He was like, thanks for believing in me on my solo journey. Won't be a documentary.
about you. I think because we both have our own solo stuff going on but when we're together it empowers us
And that's our mental health moment of the week. Thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We love you so much. Toronto tickets are on sale. Some of them are expensive because they're like festival tickets apparently, but we're releasing more like just our show tickets. Yes. So check that out. The tickets are going on sale for our second ever New York show at, I think... Wednesday, July 11th. Wednesday, July 12th. Sorry.
I would believe you, whatever you said. But yeah, New York City, we're coming for you. Tickets are dropping. Keep an eye out. We love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling. Bye.
