Keeping Up With Kristin 58:22

Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. This week has been a rough one because it is Art Basel week in Miami. So it's basically like the fashion week of New York for Miami. Everyone's down here, every brand is throwing an event. We've been going out non-stop and you guys have been writing in saying that you really want to hear how I met my roommate Kristen. She's also my best friend and I feel like this was pretty fitting because she is an artist so she's been-

making these surfboards all week for Art Basel actually hasn't left her room. It's like a cave for like a week, but they're so cool. They're sitting over there. I'm going to show you guys what they look like. So I'm so proud of her and I feel like it would be fun because we have a lot of funny stories together and

the story of how we met it's not really like what you would expect so I want to have her on and have you guys meet her I know she's been on before but it's never been just us two sitting down and we're kind of like yin and yang we're like polar opposites so I feel like this will be

fun for you guys to meet her. I was literally just sitting in my bed reading through my DMs from this past week's episode, Alex vs. Acne, and the stuff you guys have been writing in is so nice, and I don't know, I just keep crying. It makes me emotional because you guys are getting emotional, and...

Thank you guys for all of the support. It's just nice to hear that I'm not alone with going through those struggles and hearing what you guys have to say about the episode has just been so nice. So also, if you haven't listened to that, go listen to it. Last week's episode, Kristen and I went out last night and I was like, oh shit, like we have to wake up and podcast. We were literally sitting in the Uber coming back from going out last night and we were like, okay, we have to talk about this. We have to talk about this. Like we were so excited and

Our apartment right now is basically just a whole art studio slash podcast studio. It is a disaster in here.

You can't really see right now. This is like the one kind of clean part of our apartment is the window So finally we're bringing on the woman that everyone loves definitely more than me I post kristin and everyone's like she is an angel like you need to stay friends with her. She's keeping you so grounded I'm, like great. Everyone thinks i'm crazy. Everyone loves kristin, but she really is the best and Actually does keep me grounded insane. So maybe you guys have a point

But let's bring her on. That's your cue, Kristen. Get over here. This episode is presented by Sephora. Nourish yourself with hair care that really works whatever your hair type from brands like Amika, Kerastase, Moroccan Oil, and K18. Click or tap the banner or visit sephora.com to shop now.

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts

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Yay, Christy's here. Yay!

low why am I wait I need to like not be nervous right now why am I nervous I don't know well this is intimidating and I feel like it's like slept on like I was recording with my mom and it like really was so awkward because she was like Alex I don't know how to speak right now I know like we're having a conversation but there's like a really big setup over there but we're just gonna ignore it something about it just makes me like timid like I'm like I thought you would miss that I just like flapped it

Anywho. Let's keep those out. Let's tuck those dogs away. I'm breaking Kristen out of her cave right now because she's been working on her art all week. She's like Picasso, grinding away. Thank you. It's been a very long week with that, but I'm so excited. Okay, and you know what makes me really emotional is that I think like... So it's Art Basel week. Friday, Kristen is having like a little exhibit at the Fountain Blue for her art. And I like get the chills just...

thinking about this because last Art Basel, we were at this event and we were walking through and Kristen was like, next year, like I'm really, I'm going to do something for Art Basel. Like she put it out there. Why am I getting the chills? I'm going to cry. But like at your event, like I'm probably going to just start bawling my eyes out. Thank you. I am very excited. I was bummed out because I didn't finish any work

in time to, like, submit for, like, the actual art shows that are going on. So this is, like, a collab with me and the Fountain Blue. So it's, like, a great way to, like, do something for Basel without, like, having my own work in, like, art shows. Yeah. Which is the goal for next year. Yeah. But I'm very excited. I'm really bad at, like, receiving attention and praise. So I'm kind of scared for Friday. No, it's going to be so good. Like, I'm going to be so awkward. All of our friends are going. I know. I'm excited. I'm, like, wondering who's going to be there that's not our friends. Like...

I don't know. I'm fine if it's just our friends. Art Basel goers. And we like really did not want to get up and record today because we went out last night and I knew it was going to be a crazy night. Like I knew when we went out in the start of the night, I was just like, I know it's going to be a long one.

But Kristen and I need to put our foot down sometimes because we knew. We knew when it was time to leave and we had the Uber called and we were ready to leave. Like we were so close to making the right call and then we got peer pressure into going somewhere else that just like was not a vibe and it was like far away. At this new club opening...

Which is a new club. It's literally right down the street from our apartment. And it's really cool there. Like, it's a different vibe for Miami. It was sick. And we knew it was time to go home. But, you know, you're with the normal, like...

Miami celebrities that are always out I guess like really big celebrities in general But there's always these ones that are creeping out of the woodworks that all of these events in Miami We're like with them at this table and then everyone's like let's go to this next party and I was like, you know What it would really be responsible of us to just get in an uber. We're one block away from home and like go to bed and

And we didn't. We were so close. We didn't. I also just like crossed the threshold last night that I did not mean to cross. Like I woke up like hung, which was not the goal. I was definitely drunky last night. Like from the get-go. Like there are things to do today, but alas. This is my best friend since the beginning of college. Yes. I feel like, okay, we kind of told this in the first, very first episode of Hot Mess, how we like met and became friends.

But I feel like we need to recap it in case anyone doesn't know. Yes. So I slid in Alex's DMs. She slid in. In like February 2019. Because you followed me. Yeah. And I saw you had like 10K followers. And I was like, holy shit. And she had like the UMiami23 in her bio. And I was like, oh my God, like this girl looks so cool. And I was dying to go to UM, but I hadn't heard back yet. I did like regular decision and got deferred. Which.

which we addressed in the first episode. I was pressed about that. So I was still waiting to hear back and it was my last school I was waiting to hear back from and I was dying to go. So I was like, I'm just going to like reach out to people from there. And so I slid into Alex's DMs and I was like, hey girl, like she slid into big Al's DMs. You seem so cool. I'm pretty sure I was like, I love your pics. Like,

Well, Kristen sent in my DMs and she was like, I'm still not sure if I'm going to you Miami yet, but like I'm waiting to really make sure I get in and whatever. And I was like, wow, like this girl is stunning. I really hope she doesn't get in. I remember being like, okay, like low key. Like I feel like we could be friends, but I'm also like, she is so pretty and actually Barbie. And you know what we need to touch on right now is that Kristen's a bitch because her hair is her.

her hair this like bleach blonde hair that she has is her natural color like that's not dyed at all it gets lighter in the sun like i someone commented on my tiktok last night i was like i was like i think you're lying and i was like i'm not lying i would never lie about that that's such like a psycho thing to lie about your whole life like imagine if i was just keeping up this like well i thought she was lying we became friends at first and i was like okay like be so for real you did not pop out of the womb with like

perfect barbie blonde hair so we literally would be like at pregame's freshman year of college and i would be sifting through her hair because i wanted to find like the roots where it was growing out you've seen like when we tan like i come inside and my hair is like lighter like it just happens every time she's a bitch like i'm at the salon for 10 hours spending all this money frying my hair off my head and she like goes and lays out at the pool and comes back with like 10 shades of lighter hair and i'm like actually f you like no it's not okay well thanks

queen. I appreciate it. But anyway, just had to get that one off my chest. Now that that's covered, we can move on. We were talking, we like Snapchatted, we did the initial meetup freshman year, and Kristen was a shy little...

I was very shy. My whole life I was very shy. And I don't know. I was just very intimidated by everyone. Everyone that I met immediately was such like huge personalities, like not shy at all, like you in the best way ever. And so I was like so scared and like, I don't know, like when you're a shy person, you kind of just like shut down around those kind of people, especially when you're nervous, like trying to make friends and like make a good impression. So I was like,

kind of went non-verbal for the first week of college. This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

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So I don't think you guys understand the first like week or month of freshman year, we would have these pregames in the dorm. Like you're just like hanging out on your twin beds and invite everyone to your room to like drink before going out. And Kristen would sit like I specifically remember Kristen sitting like cross-legged, like arms wrapped around each other in the corner of the room. Legs twisted out.

She like does this thing where she like twists her legs. I don't pay attention to my legs. They're just like this all the time. I'm going to put photos right now because that's Kristen at all points. If you saw that Victoria's Secret thing from Mal, I did not want to be in that for the record. And my legs are literally twisted around themselves. I look so awkward. If you want an example, look at that. Kristen is always twisting her legs. I'm always twisted. Anyways. And she's bent up in the corner and like we're all having fun. But like everyone was kind of like, well, this girl like doesn't talk like that.

Everyone was kind of really mean to Kristen. They were. Okay, but I, like, did talk. Like, I was trying so hard, you guys. Like, I was really putting myself out there. I really, like, as... Just because someone is shy does not mean they're not cool. Yeah. You have to give them a chance. And it took me a sec to break out of my shell. But I literally just found texts a few days ago. I was trying to find something on my computer. And I found texts with my sister from freshman year. And I'm, like... It's so sad, honestly. I'm, like, I'm trying so hard. Like...

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Everyone is just leaving me out and not nice to me. The only one that's nice to me is Alex. I literally said that multiple times. So anytime I texted her about anything, I saw all of them, she was like, what about Alex? Why don't you hang out with Alex? Kristen, like...

I remember everyone kind of being like, that girl Kristen doesn't really talk. And you have to remember, this is like we're meeting people for the first time and no one really knows anyone. So they're like, maybe she's a weirdo. Also, mind you, I did not party in high school. Yeah, no, she didn't. At all. So I was baptized by fire at the University of Miami that first week. Yeah, Kristen's never seen alcohol in her life. Well, genuinely. And we're going to these pre-games and like,

she's just clammed up in the corner. And, like, everyone was, like, kind of really mean about Kristen. And I was like, guys, I think we need to give her a chance. Like, whatever. Eventually, like, I feel like everyone was...

Everyone started to make plans without Kristen. Guys, it's actually so fucking sad. It's so sad. I found these texts with my sister, like I said, and they're screenshots of me, like, texting the group chat being like, hey, guys, like, do you want to go to that SAE thing tonight? Nobody responds. And then I see them all posting at the SAE thing and I'm at home in bed. So I, like...

It gets so sad thinking about that. No, this was really bad. There was a time when that was a big problem. No, this was actually a big... Kristen was there in the beginning, and then Kristen kind of dissipated. I branched out, and then we found our way back to each other. We always remained friends. Yeah, we always did, because...

I didn't feel come to, I'm always like benefit of the doubt. Like, let's see it through with these people, like give them a chance, which sometimes is a bad decision. And I end up hanging around people for longer than I should because I'm like, maybe they're like, just, I don't like seeing people left out. Like I genuinely, like I was left out a lot in middle school and early high school. And like, I was the shy one. Like I remember I would like talk and everyone would just talk over me. Like I was never like,

And it took me a long time to be like confident in being myself. So I always have sympathy for people who are like shy and whatever. So me and Krista would always hang out. And I feel like one time that we really...

was we went to like the dining hall together. Yeah, our dining hall sesh. So like this is in the midst of like everyone kind of ditched Kristen because they were like, she's weird and doesn't talk. Me and Al were still sneaking around. And I was like, hey girl, like maybe we go to the dining hall together because I felt bad. But like I also was friends with these girls, but I was like, this isn't like we can't like bully this girl, you know, like whatever. So we go to the dining hall together. Yeah. And we had like a really big party

bonding session like more than like small talk we bonded over our childhood trauma childhood trauma came out over the like disgusting food at the dining hall chicken patties I don't know like it just made me see a different side to Kristen where I'm like she's so perky just shy and like you were telling me that you were upset that you were like feeling left out and stuff so I was like

you know what we're gonna fix this so we had these pre-games still kristen would come and kristen was because she's so pure and perfect she was afraid to use a fake id to get alcohol so she was that was okay so that was another thing is i like thought that if i like walked in the public so the fake id the cops would come and arrest me which my luck would happen yeah theoretically that's what's supposed to happen you know and

Kristen's a rule follower. But we'd go to these pregames and...

You know when like there's a person That like never brings their own alcohol And steals it from everyone else and you're like That's always her that was giving me a bad look That was Kristen but it was because She was afraid I was like I was so Like I had no idea she's not like She's not trying to steal from us like She'll send us a memo for the damn white Claw but like she was afraid to get it for herself So I such a problem at the beginning Of school yeah yeah so I would Buy extra white claws and Stuff and like I think you had like a

pink little backpack that you would bring to pre-games. I don't know why. I still have the exact backpack. It's Kristen's pink little like slouchy backpack she would bring to the pre-games and I would like put

put extra white claws in there for her so she didn't have to like feel weird about coming across the room to like take them i would like hide them in the corner for krista you literally were saving me at the pregame that was such an issue for me because i was like oh my god like i don't have anything to pregame with but i have no way of like getting it when my sister came to visit me for my birthday which is in september oh my god another story about my birthday i can tell um she bought me like an armageddon of white claws to keep in my room and then

So the whole like underneath of my bed was just like cases and cases of white cloth. So I was stalked for the rest of the semester. Knowing your luck, the RA would like come in your room and be like this fucking alcoholic bitch. Like what's happening? Seriously, I would be kicked out. And another story where Al was the best person ever.

I've been calling you Al so much recently. I know. Like, do you like that? I do. It just comes out. I don't know. Big Al, then Al. But I've never had a nickname before, so I love it. I enjoy it. Anyways, I digress. It was my birthday, and...

I was staying at like the one hotel in South Beach with my sister because I was like, I don't really have any close friends. I remember this because she was posting up and the one hotel is like the nicest hotel in Miami and she's like posting up like looking so slay there and I was like, damn. No, I was literally like, oh my gosh, like my birthday's coming and I don't really know what I'm gonna do for it. Like I don't really have that many close friends yet. So I was like, my sister's coming down and we're doing something together. I'm moving out for the weekend. And so I was staying there, but this guy texted me. Yeah.

Terrible. That everyone was going to this place in Wynwood. And so I was like, okay, you know what? Like, I'm down to go. No, this story is so sad. No, it's so sad. I forgot about this. It's so sad. Go, continue. So I go to Wynwood and I go to the place and I was in there for a little bit, but it was kind of like everyone was like leaving to go somewhere else. And so we're all outside. I like met up with like the whole like squad there. I don't even think I knew y'all were going, but we just both were there. Yeah.

um everyone's leaving to go the next location and there's an uber and there's one spot left everyone's piled in the uber and me and alex are standing on the street and there's one spot left and everyone's like alex like alex come on like everyone's like no alex like it's fine it's fine like come on this was actually like it was this is like mean girl core it was it was kristin's birthday we're leaving one bar to go to another bar and everyone's piled in the uber and also it's like

I feel like everyone always just piles in Ubers anyway. Like no one's actually sitting in their seat with their buckle on. Yeah. But I think it was like, I think it was a scenario where they were like, no, only one person can come. And you were like, I'm not going to like leave her. And literally everyone was like, no, it's fine. Like everyone,

in front of Kristen's face was like Alex just get in the car like it's fine just leave her and I'm standing there and I was like no and I stayed and I was like just go like me and Kristen will like find our own plan but it was just I forgot about that alone on her birthday on the sidewalk and everyone was like trying to convince me to just get in the car and leave her alone yeah and that was that was a moment that I was like you are like a true friend a true person like I was like I love this girl but like

I don't even think if I was like your friend or not, like I don't think I would have left someone sitting alone on the sidewalk, let alone on their fricking birthday. Like, I don't think I would have done that. Like, that's just like-

Oh my gosh. It was really bad. It was. But honestly, like it was like the first month of school, which is always like weird making friends at hard. Like after that period of time, things started looking up. I started hanging out more. I feel like this is going to be really helpful for girls because I get a lot of questions of girls who are like, I'm starting college. I don't know how to make friends. It's very scary. We sleep on that. Yeah, it is. It's very hard. It is.

like when you are not like a naturally like outgoing like loud person it's hard to put yourself out there and make friends I really had to step out of my comfort zone and I ended up like I'm not like shy like that at all like anymore like you know no she's not

Just took her a minute. But... Just took me a minute to get comfortable. And I still, like, I was still so happy, like, amidst that, just because I loved, like, college so much, you know? Yeah. So, like, it was all good, but... It took a minute. Yeah. The whole first semester of college, Kristen was out, Alex was in. I came back around, like, later this semester, I feel. And then Sorority Rush happened, and Big Al didn't make it into the cool sorority, and Kristen did with everyone else. So then, all of a sudden...

I got boofed out of the friend group. Like then all of a sudden, like the same people started to like low key, not text me for plans and like whatever. And I was like, Oh my God, I'm on the outs now because I didn't make it into the cool sorority. Oh my God. I have the clearest memory of, um, walking into the rush thing.

When you got dropped from the one, like, one of them. And you're like, it's fine. Like, it's all good. Like, I just know I'll be in the other one now. Like, it's cool. Yeah. And then I had come back. And I got dropped. And you were bawling. And I was so fucking sad. I didn't know what to say. We were sitting in a classroom together during rush. Like, you're in these little recruitment groups. And the only person I, like, knew in the room was Kristen. And I was hysterical. Like, bawling my eyes out. And you were like, it's okay. And I was like, ah! Ah!

I was like, it doesn't even matter. And honestly, like throughout college, like I was like the one, literally everything being like, just come. Like it doesn't matter. That's like the only reason that...

So, like, after freshman year, continuing on, everyone's back at school sophomore year. Kristen would invite me to all the pre-games. If it was, like, even sorority stuff, like, she would just tell me to come. And I was the annoying girl that was showing up to the sorority events that wasn't in the sorority. And everyone was like, can she get out of here? And I was like, that was one thing I got, like, weirdly feisty about was, like, you and, like, that scenario. Like, I would be like...

like I don't know like I'd be like why like it doesn't even matter like she can come like whatever like fine I'll leave you know like it was just like I would be so aggressive about it yeah because I was like back off yeah so like Kristen had my back because I had hers freshman year so then she like stuck up for me I I don't know I feel like it was always like pre-game going out settings and like maybe some pool days we'd hang out but then junior year is when we got really we got closer

We started hanging out like a ton during end of sophomore year because then I came and stayed with you in Jersey the summer before junior year, which was fun. And like, that's when I met your whole family and stuff for the first time. Yeah. Um, and then junior year, we were literally glued the whole year. Like, I don't think you guys understand me and Kristen, like slept together. We used to have to sleep over every night. Not slept together, but...

We slept in bed together every night. So a big chunk of our friends went abroad. Or the girls I lived with went abroad. And then the girl that Kristen lived with had a boyfriend that she... She just wasn't there. Kate, we're calling you out. I love you so much, but it's true. She disappeared off the face of the earth because she got a boyfriend. So it was just us two together.

conquering the world we would sit in bed every night together go out every night together like i would wake up and like come up to your room yeah vice versa yeah we looked like two floors apart so it was like wake up and immediately was like in the elevator on the way to her room i don't know that was like i think when we got like super super super close and then it was like best friend best best friend territory definitely and then senior year we lived together with six girls um

Casa Amor. Yes. Obviously. And Alex did not want to live in Casa Amor. No I was against it at first because I was like there's no way that six girls are gonna live in a house together. It's not gonna be a shit show. Like we're not gonna fight. I was like this house like I was like I don't even think like we're gonna have room to walk around. Oh my god that was so stressful too because it's so hard to find a house and I was the only one like in communication with the realtor like trying to figure it out and it was during finals week and it's a situation where like

the house comes available and you have to sign the lease like that day or it's gone. And so I was trying so hard to sell everyone on the house. Like in one day, I literally made like a packet. Remember I made like a 10 page packet for everyone to give to their parents of why we should live in the house. - Yeah, Kristen made like a literal whole document of like why we need to live in Casa Amor and I was like, bitch, I don't know. - And we did. - But then we did and honestly, best decision of my entire life. I would still live there now if we could.

And Kristen and I had a Jack and Jill room. So basically that means it's like two rooms that are connected by like a joint bathroom. So I think our joint bathroom was our first like

I don't know, our first experience living together, how we were as partners. Oh, the bathroom was like objectively so good. No, the bathroom was really bad. Like without us in there, it was not like a great bathroom, you know? Yeah, it was like small. Our toilet was a children's toilet. Our toilet was a child's toilet. It was on the floor and it was a children's toilet and sometimes it couldn't handle...

all that we were given it. - And it would just break. - It would break all the time. Like we would literally like pee and the toilet would break. - Yeah, we would do nothing in the toilet break, honestly. And the landlord's like, what are you guys doing to it? And I'm like, I promise, like we're not putting it through that much stress.

We would have plumbers at points where because we had like a house with all these girls and if we had people over like our bathroom was the closest to the living room. So like it would be the like party bathroom. So it would just sometimes it would get a little crazy in the toilet and it would break and then people would just keep going to the bathroom. And the plumber came one time and actually like he like looked at us and was like,

He was like, this is disgusting. And we were like, I'm so sorry. But that like, that wasn't a good example of our like cleanliness. Cause it was, it was always pretty bad in there. It was disgusting. It was just, it was, you know, like a nice bathroom. You're like, it's easy to keep nice, like a crusty bathroom. Like it's kind of hard to keep it like nice. Like our, we had a shower curtain that like didn't really like fit. I feel like it was like too small. It was way too short. So like you would shower and just the whole floor was soaked. And I guess like the cheap baths,

bath mats that we got from like amazon didn't work either because like they would be soaked oh my god and just all of our products this is when i started to get a lot of like yeah skincare and makeup products all in the bathroom like two shelves in the middle that was just like a literal like sephora of products at all times and i don't know it was just it was a

But I don't know. It's okay. It's not like that now. The bathroom was like a bridge from like my safe space to like the dungeon. We called my room the dungeon because it was quite literally there was not a window in the room and it was mountains of just...

on the floor. Like there was no floor of my room. So like as you go from Kristen's nice room with her surfboards and her palm trees, you turn the corner and then, you know, it starts to get a little creepy in the bathroom. You're like, ooh, a little moldy mat, a little hairball over here. Things are shifting. And then you walked into my room and it was disgusting. I'm surprised that you said yes to living with me this year after that year.

Well, I feel like I know that you're, like, you're not gross. Like, you're messy. I'm messy. You're not, like, a gross person. Yeah. Maybe... There's a difference. Maybe there's a false narrative about that. Yeah. I think people don't get... I think people think you're... Just kidding. Just kidding. Never mind. You know what I mean? Like, everyone's so dramatic about it. Like, you're not, like, gross. You're just messy. Yeah, there's a difference. You're a hot mess. It's not...

please it's not like the person that like you don't want to touch because it's like she stings and she doesn't shower like i'm always so clean and i also like my whole life have not been like a super neat clean person by any means like my whole like literally life until college my room was like that at all times clothes everywhere like yeah 30 cups on my nightstand like always and then i feel like in college like living in smaller spaces i like started to like

to being, like, cleaner. And now I'm, like, really, like, clean and neat. And I never have been like that. Yeah. So... But I feel like we need to describe to them how, like, we live together. Yeah. Like, how we are as roommates. Okay. I will say neither of us are...

neat freaks like no not if there's like like right now we have um a lot of dishes in the sink but like we're fine with letting that sit there for a day or two and then we get it done but like i've lived with like sarah before where it's like if there was a dirty plate on the counter for like one second it was like an army general up there with the mop like getting that shit off like we are like okay with like understanding that yeah we can clean i'm worse okay i will take the credit i'm definitely the messy roommate in this case and

But like you're not like annoyingly messy in any way to me, you know? Like there's not like you're, I don't know. There's just a lot of stuff around all the time. You have one fatal flaw. What? As a roommate. Nope.

Wait, I don't, what are you about to say? What? It's the one thing is every time you make tuna, you leave it out. That's your one fatal flaw. And it's not like the dishes. Like I feel like you make stuff, then you like rinse it off and like put it away. But for some reason, every time you make tuna, it sits out for three days.

Okay. That's like a universal law. Like when you make tuna, like you like clean that shit up because it stinks. Tuna salad specifically. Tuna salad. So I've had like really an obsession for tuna salad recently. And. But something about the tuna salad, you're like, let me just leave that there for days on end. I do. I do. I don't know. I, it's not on purpose. Maybe like I want to just sniff it when I go into the kitchen. Yeah, you were like, it doesn't smell bad. What do you mean? I don't think tuna salad smells bad. That is like a universally like stanky smell. Yeah.

Like I'll make tuna salad I'll make tuna salad And I come into Kristen's room And I like try to eat it And I'm like And she's telling me I have to I will sit outside Like across the hall And like eat My tuna salad But like with her door open So I can still be a part Of hanging out with her That's like I I Matured from that though Because I One time have a clear memory When I lived with Kate That I ate tuna salad in bed And she was like Kristen like that is foul And I was like really And so I'm like okay Like my brain rewired It's not Tuna salad is so good And like

But it does happen that every time I make tuna salads, the day that I don't do the dishes. And this ends up sitting there and marinating for hours. I think it's still missing right now. You left tuna salad out before you left on that literally month-long trip, and I was like,

When I was out of town as well. So I didn't know until I got back. So I got back and it had been marinating for like six days. It's okay though. I still love you. That's your one flaw. But I can look past that. It's okay. I'll get better about it. Well, let me tell you about your flaw. I don't think I have one. My hair just froze. I'm really trying to think of something right now. But...

Like the only thing is maybe sometimes, but like this isn't actually been bad recently. This is like Kristen's art she does in the apartment. There's been points where like, I think this happened once really bad in Casa Amor. I don't think it's really happened here, but no, no. Oh, because I used the laundry room as my stew? No. Oh. No. No.

when you do the things oh yeah like one day kristen got her whole house actually high off these chemicals because she was doing it in the furthest corner of the house that she possibly could so you think it wouldn't like smell by my room but like i was like osmosis man or is it diffusion i don't fucking know i don't know what osmosis is

I was just going along with it. I definitely don't think it's that. Osmosis, man. Osmosis. Get a little osmosis. Dude, I have it. We do get high from Kristen's chemicals. I had an existential crisis this summer about that because I would always like carelessly spray paint. And then I saw this Miami graffiti artist died from that. He got cancer from the spray paint fumes. And so I literally haven't used it since. I'm like, I'm too scared. I mean, I'd always wear like one of those masks. She has like a gas mask that she wears when she's painting. But then we're walking around the house and I'm like, get out.

Give us a gas mask. Doing it inside is a big no. I don't know why I did that. Because I would just be like working on something. I'd be like, oh, just a little bit like there. Like, it's fine. Yeah, no. It was really bad. I've never done that here, though. You have the mask, though, that's from, is it like the conjuring that the grandma wears? And it's like. Yeah.

Do you know what I'm talking about? That's the mask that Kristen wears. Kristen and I are best friends, but we're actually like, couldn't be different of human beings. I think in some ways we overlap on all the right things. Yeah. We're like yin and yang. Yeah, we are. Yeah.

We in the mignon. Kristen's, like, soft, aesthetic, beachy, like, sweet, nice. Like, even when she talks, like, your voice is so nice. I'm, like, monster bitch. Like, I don't know. You're just, like, crazy in the best way. But I don't know. I always say Kristen. I, like, think I have been really...

to her. Oh. Attracted to her as like a best friend because you're so similar to Ashton, my sister, who's like obviously my other best friend. And you're just like the same as Ashton. You give off the same energy. Ashton. Like you guys are just like soft and slow and sweet. You attract like docile people. I do. Even like docile.

Like, BB is... That's what we call NFL man Braxton. We call him BB. Yeah. Like, he is just, like, angel, like, perfect. And, like, I... Because I can't be around someone who's as, like, crazy and devilish as me. It will never work. You have a thing for North Carolinians. I do. That's also something that's so crazy and we see a lot. And I'm KK and he's BB. Yeah. From NC. So...

Kristen is from North Carolina Braxton's also from North Carolina um so the common denominator here is North Carolina yeah she's KK he's BB there's a lot of weird like invisible string things with Braxton I will say yeah I love I love invisible string like invisible string theory like maybe we'll get into that another time but there's so many weird things that I'm like we're we've been connected for years okay let's back it up

Yeah. And Kristen, I will say Braxton's the first boyfriend I've ever had that like hangs out with my friends, like even like besides me or like he'll call Kristen or text Kristen. And like, I don't know. It's like having him hang out with us feels like another friend. I don't know. Although I have been your D2W for three boyfriends. What's that mean? Your designated third wheel. Oh, designated third wheel. Yeah. Yeah. I'm always there. One thing about me is I always will be there with you and your boyfriend. Because...

For me, like, I can't stand, like, it really bothers me when people get boyfriends and then drop off the face of the earth and, like, ditch their friends. Yeah, you're so good about that. So, like...

Kristen's always what did you say the DTW okay the designated third wheel because I'm like if we're doing something we're obviously bringing Kristen like yeah I'm always there there's times like maybe we should like go out to dinner Saturday night and I'm like um so like can Kristen come too like obviously like she's gonna be there so funny when's the day gonna come that you're my DTW I don't know never Kristen's like really good about setting standards for guys and like

She like we need to like applaud This more like she has a standard and She's like if someone doesn't meet it she's like Done like that's why like you haven't had A boyfriend in a minute but It's in a good way like she has standards That like other girls are just like well man I want a boyfriend or like whatever like They see past it Kristen's like if he's literally Not like 10 out of 10 bye Okay we say that but But the few in the far between that I do give the time Of the day just suck so Yeah the ones that she does have stick around

But there's been literally like none of those. Yeah. But I just am very picky. Yeah, she's very picky and she's very good with that. But the one boy that she did pick in college was very bad. But that's okay. Because I was a freshman year. I was young and naive. It's okay. I was fresh out of a relationship. It happens. It's all good. It happens. Yeah. We all have our moments of weakness. Kristen can't have a boyfriend actually because I'm her husband. You're my hubby. We always say so like...

You know when it's in a relationship, the guy will do things for the girl. He'll order stuff or if something's wrong, he'll speak up about it. We go out and Kristen orders food. So say Kristen, for example, is like, can I have the mac and cheese? And he's like, okay, a tuna salad. Or if he's like, oh, do you want American or cheddar? I'm like...

look to alex yeah yeah she looks at me for approval before ordering all the time like we will literally be out and like he's like so what do you guys want to eat she like looks at me she's like so what should we get i'm like kristin like my hubby i am the hubby we're both hubby we both call each other hubby so we have like a lot of hubby vacations because very grateful but for work i get to travel a lot and go on trips and obviously kristin's my designated trip partner my dtp

She's also my DTP. So it's always like our hubby vacations, we call them. Our honeymoons. We've honeymooned in so many places now. We have. Key Largo was the first one. Key Largo. Super Bowl. Super Bowl was Arizona. L.A. L.A., Vegas. Vegas. Montauk. Montauk. I feel like I'm missing one. New York. New York.

there's like way more but i don't know yeah i don't know and they're all perfect they all not been perfect we all we literally will do like a couple of things together like a couple massages at the spa and we're like just our hubby things just our hubby probably my favorite honeymoon that we've had though would be the super bowl i think mine is too i was thinking about this recently

Like all of them are great, but I think that one, that was just such like a fun, like packed crazy weekend. We went to fashion week first in New York. Yeah. It's also crazy. We were just like in school at this time. Yeah. Bye. Like we're going to fashion week on Wednesday. And then, so we're in New York and we really want to go to the Superbowl.

the only tickets that we could get on this big ass flight to Arizona were, I was in the last row of this plane and it was one of the like, and we went to Chicago 10 rows across. I forgot about that. Uh, that was funny. Um, yeah. So we went to New York for like 24 hours and we went to the Superbowl, which was crazy. Kristen, I never would have dreamed that like I'm going to the Superbowl, just like not even a team. I like it's playing like just for fun. Like that was insane. And I love you for coming. Um,

um we kristen and i always find ourselves in like such niche situations with such like celebrities or famous people and it's so funny it's so funny because i'm like what business do i have to be here you know we're literally like what are we you've said this before like you're like why am i with all these famous people like if you think that you are like a famous person like no i'm not if i feel like what

What business do I have being there? None. It's just funny. And the Super Bowl in particular... Okay, so the suite we were in for the Super Bowl was with...

every rapper on earth rappers the city girls were there so it was awesome and like just us like we were couldn't be more out of place like it was we were so fun though like we had the best time ever we were like what are we doing here and we tried to have like conversations with everyone because we're trying to be friendly yeah oh yeah we were not should we tell the camera no we're not gonna say your name

We had a little bit of a blonde girl, white girl. We had a blonde girl moment. Blonde girl, white girl moment. This was really embarrassing. Yeah.

So to set the stage when we get there and it's just us and all these rappers. First of all, one thing about Alex is she does not know one famous person. Like that is just something she does not know. Yeah, I don't think they know that. I don't know any actors, singers, like celebrities. Like if there was people to know though. If they're TikTok people, you know them. TikTok people, but like anything actual pop culture, I have no idea. She doesn't know. But there would be, I think like,

I knew the city girls, obviously. Oh, yeah. You love them. That's my type of music. Like, Nicki Minaj, Sweetie. So, like, that's actually the one thing I do niche-ly know. But, like, all the other rappers, I'm like, I have no idea who's here. Kristen, honey. Literally any fan's person ever. I'm like, oh, yuck, you know that, like, actor that's, like, in literally everything as one. We were also with, like, Cher and Nick Jonas. Yes, like, insane. We were like, what are we doing here? Like, why are we sitting with these people? Love them, but why are we here? We don't deserve this. It's so funny. So, anyways...

I was kind of like telling her like who everyone is. And there's one guy who like I kind of remembered like from childhood having a reputation of just being kind of like intimidating and like scary. And we were kind of picking up those vibes. It's kind of like in the corner, like not fucking with anyone, like not talking to anyone. His friends like come up and like talk to him. He's just kind of like,

You know, like, no, he was nonverbal in the corner. And Alex was like, I'm going to make him my best friend. Because Alex is a challenge. For me, I love a challenge, one. And two, a lot of the times I don't know who these people are. So, like, I don't care. Or, like, I don't care if you're such a big celebrity. Like, I just, I don't know. I'm, like...

come on, like, let's have a little fun. Like, I'm trying to, like, poke him, like, and bring him out of his shell because this is, like... You literally, like, I'm gonna break him out of his shell. No, it's like, I want to make this guy laugh. There's older women sitting in front of him and the only time I heard him speak words the whole night was when he'd be like, you good, mama? Like, how's it going, mama? Like...

You good mama? And so me and Alex were like, oh my God, like that's so sweet. Like you brought me, he brought his mom. Like that's so sweet. So I go up to him and me and Kristen, I'm like, I have my intro. Like, here we go. And I was like, oh, like, that's so sweet. You brought your mom. This man. He literally like slowly cocks his head and is like, look at me. And he's like, that is not my mother. Yeah.

And we were like... He was just using lingo like, yeah, like mama, like whatever. And then, but then, so he's just like looking at us like, and then he just starts dying laughing. And he was like, it's like an expression, like a phrase, you know, like, haha, like I like you guys. And we were like, yeah.

yes we made it in because i'm a dumb blonde white girl it was like i have no idea what he's saying that was so funny i just like the second you said that and he like had that reaction i was like oh my god we're idiots no we are idiots actually like couldn't have been more of an idiot but it worked out he he gave a giggle and then he went back to his death glare i think we could say we're friends now yeah

then the rest of the night we had like the sickest plans lined up yeah so after the super bowl the chiefs win and they're like this party this party whatever we're doing this this this and this and we're like hell yeah fun night ahead we go back and we order food which i also don't know why we order food because i if i remember correctly i ate like an actual metric ton of raisin canes at the super

yeah we did eat so much food but obviously so much but obviously we wanted soup because that's another thing that i think we sleep on my family if they were here to attest like i have been addicted to soup my whole life i would like write stories about soup and like i have to find like no i'm not even kidding like there's like a drawing that was hanging in my pantry that was called the chronicles of soup

I made because I was the only thing I ate. You made a story called The Chronicles of Soup? I did. Oh my god. See like sometimes she's so weird. I know the best way. Okay I was a child. I know. And it was my favorite food. I'm kidding. But I am a soup girl too. So yeah so naturally we ordered soup. We ordered ramen noodles. And next thing I know I wake up like two hours later Alex is face down in her ramen next to me.

I'm like still in my outfit so confused and we just have completely slept through the whole night. We slept through the whole party. My face was in the bowl of ramen noodles. The ramen was like spilled on the bed and I was just like oh my god. And we did not go to any Super Bowl after parties. We didn't go to anything which is so disappointing. Yeah. It's okay. It's okay. But it was a fun weekend anyways. We had so much fun besides that. We did. I ran into so my ex-boyfriend was there at the time and I had posted on TikTok. Okay so this Kristen and I

a dynamic of like i want to like do something bad and kristen is like the one who's like alex don't do it so i posted it on tick tock uh get ready with me and i was like i'm in the mood to start something tonight like i'm in the mood to start some drama and it was because my ex-boyfriend was there and was texting me and was like come hang out with us at whatever and i was like maybe we should whatever

And then it turns out spiraling like six months later because there was also some conspicuous drama around the Super Bowl with me and Braxton, which is just like a complete lie and was like really annoying. So everyone took this get ready with me that I'm like talking to Chris and I'm like, should I start some drama? Which I mean, like makes sense, I guess, to like an outside viewer. I would be like, that's probably what she's fucking talking about. But yeah.

No. Yeah. Alas, it was not that. Alas, it was not. And no drama. So the Super Bowl was just awesome. Great. And then the next day, the next day that we left, we were both like cripplingly hung. Like I just we were delusional. I think I was also like we were also like sick. Remember? Like I was sick. I remember. And so it was just like all around terrible.

And we had to drive like two hours away. Although we were so lucky. We flew home with someone that we met randomly. Yeah, someone randomly was like, I'm going back to Miami and have a private jet and you guys can come. Why does this happen to us? I don't know. It was awesome. I was like, yes, I would love that. And so we drove like two hours. That was when the cows were driving to the desert. And there's like a neighborhood of houses up on a hill. And I was like, oh my God, cows. And we were like, no, wait.

It was cows, right? No, it was houses. I'm blind. Oh. Yeah, one thing about me is I'm blind. But anyways, we get to the plane and I am like so just on my deathbed. I just look terrible. It's like one of those like hungovers where everyone's just kind of like, oh, like you look like miserable. Yeah, Kristen was really sad. Yeah, I'm like not having this. I'm green in the corner, like sweating and

And so we're sitting at like a table and they whip out this like a monopoly card game. Yeah. It was like monopoly, but instead of like the board, it was like a short end versions for cards. So we didn't know it. We had to learn it. Yeah. And it was like, you know, when like you're like sober, like fully like clear mind, it's

so annoying getting explained like the rules of a card game like you're just someone's explaining it to you and that's just like over your head and you're just like nothing happening in here so imagine this like complicated Monopoly game and you're so hungover and like shivering in the corner like dying and they're so into it the people we were with were so into it and you got really into it as well it was really good and I was not having it I didn't process the direction so I had no idea what was going on I didn't want to try to play I wanted to like sit there with my eyes closed and a ball and

I was like, every time it would get to me, I would just like do like something that just like didn't make sense. And everyone's like, oh, well, you should have done this. And like, correct me. And I'm just like, I don't care. I do not care. You were like,

were playing this monopoly game and it was like rule number like one and she would just like keep fucking it up and keep doing it and everyone was like guys girl like come on and she was like everyone else was i was i got really you were really into it you were a very competitive person and i don't know it was a great game kristen struggled bust on the way yeah and that game that game started before the plane took off and did not end until it landed

Yeah, we played Monopoly for six hours and Kristen was hungover and wanted to shoot us all in the head. But you know what? There are definitely worse situations to be in. So it's okay. At the end of the day, it's all good. At least we were on the front of the jet. Yeah, it's all good. But I was kind of missed.

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joyba on Instagram and TikTok at joyba.fun for fun giveaways and to find a retailer near you. Going off of that, talking about being like jealous or competitive, like I'm a competitive person, but I feel like people wonder sometimes with, well, I guess friends in general, some friends get like very jealous and competitive and like,

I don't know dealt with that a lot weird weird people yeah I've but that's just like the farthest thing from any feeling I would ever have towards you like that just has never been a thought in my mind you but either of us like I feel like we're good friends in the sense of like we both have our own things going like own careers and like we love to like hype each other up and like and

I don't know. Kristen's like my biggest supporter, actually. Literally everything you're at, like I'm the mean girl's mom. Kristen's actually my biggest fan and supporter. So I don't know. I feel like that's a good... What am I trying to say? That's like a key to like having a good...

and relationship I don't know it's like yeah supporting each other because I there are friends who are like weirdly competitive and like guys anything like I don't know I feel like we're like very good at like wanting the best for each other yeah because we're obviously a married couple we are we're hubby I'm so happy for everything that you do I'm so happy for everything that

you do like I genuinely like am beaming at any time you have something like it's that's just I don't know it should be like you should be genuinely like I was filled with excitement anytime something like that's happening I was at this event last night and there was like a little like carpet moment they were asking questions and first of all those questions that they ask like

you have no idea just any of the social clips that you see of people from carpets. Like it's not talked about enough how horrible and scary those are. Like they're actually like, hey, so what's your name? And I'm like, Tiffany. Like I have no idea. And they are asking me these questions. I'm giving the dumbest answers ever. Like I actually sound like a dumbass. And they finally asked me, they're like, so like what are you looking forward to most this week? And I was like,

I went on a tangent about Kristen's art event on Friday. I'm like, so my best friend, my roommate, like, so last Art Basel, she like really wanted to do this event. And like, I'm rambling on and the girl behind the camera is like, wrap it up, bitch. Like, let's go. And I'm like, and she has these really cool things. She's painting these like Frank Sinatra-esque pieces, like on these surfboards. She does oil paintings. Like she does oil paintings. So cool. Like I'm rambling on and everyone is like kind of looking at me behind the camera and I think I,

Spent like 10 minutes Answering this question We need the footage So if this Magazine social Posts it on TikTok One I'm gonna be Embarrassed if they Post the other questions But if they post this one It'll be fun for us All to laugh at Because I was I was really excited And I'm like getting So emotional And everyone's like Girl like Get off Like move Everyone's like Pack it up

pack it up we don't care about your brand but yeah that's so sweet that's alex and kristin like yeah did we hit all the bases you think i don't know there's definitely more bases yeah we could go on all day we can't give them everything in one yeah you're right you're right we just like notoriously are the best i have not one not one bad thing to say yeah i don't know i i feel like

it was just a natural progression of becoming best friends and supporting each other from the beginning. We really did support each other from the beginning. We really did. She was down, I was down, we were picking each other up. Picking each other up and look at us now. Yeah. And I'm very excited for all of our adventures to come. I know. We're gonna be... Do we have any more honeymoon trips planned? Not that I know of. We can make some. We

Oh my goodness. We have no tricks. We gotta get on that. They'll come for sure. Next week we have my birthday. Yes. I'm so excited. Which I. Birthday queen. Love my birthday. Like some people don't like their birthday. That's like. I hate my birthday. Yeah. Kristen doesn't like her birthday. Like I said. I hate like receiving attention. So like. My birthday. I.

I think about it all year until the next one comes around. Which is so amazing. Like, that's going to be so fun. Last year, my birthday, we had a lot of fun. We'll save this for next week's episode because I think that...

Of course, knowing me, I planned a whole day of plans for my birthday and all of our friends are going to be there. So I'm thinking of trying to film the whole day for Hot Mess. I think that could be fun. Like take everyone along with me. We sent out the invites for my birthday party today. So more to come next week. That's going to be amazing. And I guess we'll like fill you guys in next week if we do end up going to Vegas for a day. Yeah, we'll see. I don't know what that's going to be about. I never thought I would like go back to Vegas twice in the same like three weeks. Yeah.

Vegas is scary But we have a lot of fun We had a lot of fun On our last trip I loved it I loved After our senior trip to Vegas I was like I'm never stepping foot here ever again But I had the best time ever I was like I'll come here We love Vegas Oh my gosh This is so fun That was Kristen Everyone Thanks for having me

Thanks for coming on Of course The Earl girls love you Everyone likes Kristen better than me Everyone's like Kristen makes my reputation better Because I'm the walking hot mess And then Kristen's there And they're like well she hangs out with her She must be like a good person Or something like she must be okay Because she's hanging out with her So thanks Kristen for helping my reputation Everybody gasses me up too much You don't get enough gasp

Stop. Okay. I love you. Bye. Are we yin and yanging? That was a heart. Bye. We're losers. I'm crying. So we've made it to Kristen's art exhibit. Here it is. Her big boards over here. She's like Picasso. This is the photo she was looking at for this one. This is so good. And look at this whole full room that we're in.

Like, I am just so proud of her. I cannot believe she did all of this. Kristen's sister is coming right now. She has actually no idea that she flew here from South Carolina and she's about to walk through the door and surprise her. And like, I'm freaking out because Kristen's going to like freak out and cry. So we have to get her reaction. Three, two, one. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this. I got this.

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