125: Could've Been Me?! 01:45:43

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Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Are you ready? I'm scared because I did watch the coconut one and I didn't like that. No! A lot of people are going to be like, yes, thank you. Thank you, Morgan. Don't ever read the coconut story again. Well, guess what, guys? I'm here to say we're reading it a third time today. Just kidding. Okay.

No, I'm not doing that to Dason over there. But hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host Morgan and we have Dason. Hi guys. I'm so excited to have you back. Me too. I love being here. Don't. I love being here.

I am like really trying to get back to more like relatable down to earth air quotes down to earth stories where it's like they're so plausible. It could have been me like it could have been me in that situation. I feel that. Or there's some where you might be like that couldn't have been me. Yeah. So that's the theme. That's your whole show. So that's good. I love that. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just like, oh, some of them I'm like, damn, no, I actually like this could have easily been me. Yeah. So I'm excited to see if you feel that some of them are relatable and like you're kind of like I could see myself doing that. Yeah. Easily. So any other updates for people before we jump in? How's 280 Girls going? It's good. We went on tour earlier this year.

It was really fun. I'm trying to think. We're starting to book out more guest episodes. We did one with Morgan earlier this year, which was really fun. That was, oh my God, I loved that episode. It came out so cute. You guys have amazing listener write-ins. Oh, thank you. Like you really have an amazing community and your listener write-ins are juicy. Yeah. That's a lot. I mean, we get a lot and we don't read all of them because there's obviously too many. There's so many. There's a lot of trauma dumping in there. Yeah.

Yeah. And like, I love you, but I don't know that I want to read that to everyone else. Yeah. It's a tough, tough gig. It can weigh on you too, which is hard. But I just saw your video from this week where you guys were talking about Shrek. Shrek is sexy and I'm tired of people saying anything otherwise. Yeah. So I posted a poll on my Instagram story and I was like, would you rather get with ogre Shrek or human Shrek?

The majority did say human. I see that, yeah. But did you see how many said ogre? There was a lot. A lot. I'm not alone. And I was saying he's 6'5", because I was just thinking of the tallest normal person I can think of. Did you look at how tall he was? He's between 7 and 8 feet tall. Can you believe that? That's crazy. Yeah, it says on here, Shrek's height sits somewhere between 7 and 8 feet.

So he has to be a little over 300 pounds, but look how fast he is. He's swift. So me and my sister were talking about how would he do in the NFL combine? I think he'd be first round pick at least. Easily. Yeah, at least. Easily. Oh my God. Wow. I feel just...

I didn't realize he was so tall. Me either. I saw someone say he's like four donkeys tall. What does that mean? What does that mean? Be serious. Oh, well, they did the math where they're like, they crop donkey and put them like stacked. What does that mean? They're not real. I need to know. Have you seen those TikToks where someone's like, let's figure out how tall someone is based on the doorknob. And then they like sit there and they're like, oh, or like their 7-Eleven cup. The average 7-Eleven cup is seven inches tall. So based on that 7-Eleven cup, they're holding this person is 6'2".

I have seen that, but I think we were talking about how like people will walk around and do like street interviews. Yeah. And they'll be like, how tall are you? They're always asking men. Oh, I love those. Because men always lie. Yeah. And then they ask if they can check. They say no.

I told my sister, I noticed yesterday, they only say no if it's women asking. So if it's like a girl doing the interview, they always say no. But if a guy's doing it, they'll be like, yeah. So I watched one. It actually had someone that went to school with my brother in it, which made me laugh because I was like, what the heck is he doing in here? But there was a guy in there. He said he was 6'3". They measured him 5'9". Those are two different things.

that's six inches i even think that's half a half a foot difference like i'm five four that would be like me saying i'm six one there's no way be serious

Five nine six three. How do these people not think they're gonna get caught? I don't know and then i'm looking at the person interviewing him Well, he can't be six feet tall. He's probably 5 10 when i'm looking at him Yeah, so when they're shorter than him and they're like that guy's like, oh, yeah I'm probably like six three and he goes six three He goes. Yeah, because you mind if I check and he goes I guess what do you mean you guess? He pulls out the tape measure. Oh my god. That's crazy Did I tell you I measured justin when I first started dating him? No

Yeah. So. Cause how old is he? Like five, eight, five, nine. He's five 11. And I, I'm awful at guessing heights. So that's a lot of dig on Justin. I swear. I, and I didn't believe him. Cause I'm like, why are you not?

No. My ex was 6'4", so I'm used to looking up. Because you were like, what, 5'3"? 5'2". 5'2". Okay. So he was like a full foot and a couple inches taller than me. So when I did Justin, I was like, okay, well, you're obviously shorter. I was thinking 5'9". Yeah. Like, there's no way you're 5'11". Yeah. So I gave him so much shit, and he's like, measure me. Measure me. Sure enough, I measured him, and he was 5'11". You're like, all right, you win this time. Yeah, you didn't lie. Green fly.

Green flag, I guess. I know, because I'm 5'4", and everyone in my family is really tall. So I always think, like, oh my gosh, that guy had to have been, like, 6'4", and Drew's like, he was 6 feet tall. I'm like, how am I to know? Everyone's tall to me. It's everyone. You're always looking up. I didn't realize you were so short. Yeah, I'm only 5'4". And then Drew's 6 feet. My brother's 6 feet. You give tall girl energy, though. Oh, thanks. People don't think Drew's tall, which I think is weird, because I think she gives very tall woman energy. I don't know. Honestly, I don't know.

Yes, but I didn't realize how tall. Sure. I think I was expecting like 5'7". Yeah. 5'8". Yeah. I know she's taller than me, like everyone is, but I wasn't, no. Not six feet. A lot of people are like, wow. You give the same height energy. Oh, nice. Yeah. I've never gotten that before. I'll take that. Yeah, no, for sure. It's definitely like just you convey it. It's there. Okay, well, let's get into these stories. Let's dive in. Let's dive in.

Okay. How bad do we want to go from the get go? Let's just really dive into it. Okay. Okay. So this one is titled, am I the asshole for not telling my wife there's a possibility her best friend's daughter is mine?

About seven years ago, my wife's best friend and her husband split, and it looked like they were headed for divorce. Around the same time, my wife, then girlfriend, and I split. I think it is worth pointing out that my wife was the one who called it quits. When we split, we were officially broken up. This was not just a break. I did not see any chance for us and figured our relationship was done. So when my wife's best friend showed interest, I decided to sleep with her. We

We were never serious. It was purely physical. This went on for a few months, and then she broke things off with me because she and her husband had decided to give things another shot. It was not long after they reconciled that she announced they were expecting.

She never reached out to me to confirm either way if it could be mine, so I assumed it was her husband's. I didn't know she had been sleeping with him while we were together, but I suspected that there were some other guys she was also sleeping with, based on some of her behaviors.

About a year after this all happened, my wife and I started seeing each other again. We dated for a while and then decided to get married. I never told my wife about my relationship with her best friend because we were broken up at the time and I wanted to have a clean start. Everything was fine until her best friend and her husband started having problems a year ago.

They have been going through a nasty divorce. At some point, her husband decided he wanted a paternity test and discovered that his daughter is not biologically his. The best friend then admitted she was mostly sure it was mine. The husband then contacted my wife and told her what her friend had said.

Since then, I've been dealing with the fallout. My wife thinks I was an asshole for not mentioning what happened between us, but I never had any reason to suspect it could be my daughter until now. I don't think it would have made sense to tell her about something that I thought was a low probability. It seems crazy to me to hold this against me when I never suspected anything. Am I the asshole for not telling her when I honestly did not believe the child was mine? Hmm.

I think so. I think you are because why would you sleep with her best friend, even if you're not together? That would be like if you and Justin broke up and then like he hooked up with like literally any of your friends. That's so weird. Why would you do that?

You don't shit where you eat, people. Even if you didn't think you were going to get back together, I still think it's so weird to do that. You don't know any other girls. Just my best friend. I also, what the fuck is wrong with her? Did you secretly want your best friend's boyfriend the entire time? Are you insecure and you want to have sex with her ex to feel like you're just as hot?

Yeah, like what is going on in her head? I would never do that to one of my friends No, but I know girls that have yeah and like I literally look at them and I don't I don't look at them the same like Um, my friend alejandra who you know, like one of her besties started dating an ex-boyfriend of hers And it's like for what? Yeah, there's messy. There's so many other guys out there and ones that haven't slept with your friend and it you kind of do question like

What is your motive there? Are you insecure? Are you looking for...

some sort of validation but i don't know why he didn't even question it because my head immediately would be would be like the kid's mine yeah i yeah i think it's weird that they both went through breakups at the same time too coincidentally that seems odd too sure do you know what i mean sure yeah i don't know i think to sleep with her best friend and then get back with your your ex that's weird it's really strange like i don't know how you went to her i didn't

do this one thing, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. I didn't really like her. I just wanted whatever. We were actually broken up. We weren't on a break. Yeah. It's not like Ross. It's just purely physical. Would that be any worse if it was just emotional? I don't know. You know what's interesting though? How people say it's purely physical is

I don't understand that because I can look at someone and be like, they are objectively so attractive to me. But when they open their mouth, if they say stupid shit, I hate it. I could never get past the stupid shit. Like it gives me the ick. So it doesn't matter how hot I think they are. Like if they're dumb, I can't have sex with them. Yeah. So it's like, I feel like it's, it can never be purely physical. Like,

Well, maybe maybe there's people that have hate sex. Yeah, I don't know I feel like there has to be some sort of like a track like a like a connection minor minor like a little one That you're attracted to or something that's outside of how they physically look. Do you know what I mean? Unless they just wanted to have like someone to have sex with I don't know But then it makes me think there's literally a billion other people you could have did it with so yeah aren't her best friend This easily could have been me

Easily. So like my ex before Justin has, oh my God, I almost said his name. I've never done that. I met him through like one of my, at the time, like best girlfriends. And she was always like, yeah, me and, what?

Quack. Quack noise. She's like, me and him are so close. Like, we're so close. I hate that. And then I would ask him and I'm like, are you and like, are you guys actually close? Like, am I am I stepping on toes here by like even going on dates with you? And he goes, I don't know what she's talking about. Like, I borrowed her my car once. Like, like pick me shit. Yeah. And so.

I found out that we went on spring break once and she had like messaged him and been like, Morgan cheated on you in Florida. I watched her. What the heck? Never happened. Yeah. It was a lie. But I feel like she was trying to like get with him.

Yeah, obviously like get on his good side and be like that. And I honestly feel like they definitely had sex and then like both of them just like weren't telling me. Really? I could see it. I could see me being this person. Dang. Easily. It's so like, look at him. He's like, I didn't think I had any reason to tell her.

You're getting married. Don't you think she should know that her best friend's like a little, well, you're scummy, but. Yeah. The two of you are not good people. Yeah. Even like when they first got back together, like I would, if he, I would have more respect for it if he had been honest and been like, we were hooking up, but like, I don't like her like that. I just, whatever. Yeah. But I'm sorry. And it won't happen ever again. Um, but.

Not knowing it's not your kid, like, I could see that. Like, sure, like, if she started dating her ex, like, immediately after you guys stopped hooking up, I could see him being like, oh, I didn't know that. But if he had been honest at the start, maybe it would make it a little less uncomfortable. But I do think it's weird that her boyfriend had an inkling that he wasn't, like, enough to be like, let's get a paternity test.

Do you know what I mean? So she must be doing other shit around him where he probably didn't think it was him, but he was like, maybe it's another guy. Yeah. I don't know. I wonder who the kid looks like though. If that's why the husband got suspicious too, where he's like,

my daughter's not my daughter. She doesn't look like me. Like, I wonder what provoked the paternity test. The top comment on this one, you're the asshole. It's not unreasonable to think it would be best to disclose this to your wife once you got back together. You also said you had no reason to suspect the child was yours, which I find laughable.

I'm a paranoid person. That would be my first thought. I would. Yeah. First thought. Easily. The next comment. I didn't use a condom, but I'm pretty sure there's no possibility she could have gotten pregnant for me. Oh, my God. How are babies made again? I forgot. Someone goes the next comment down. The O.P.'s edit changes everything, though. Not the asshole. So let's read the edit.

Edit, just to note that we did agree when we got back together that we weren't going to discuss who we slept with. I think that this is a crucial detail that I left out and I have never asked her either. I know, but it's her best friend. I feel like... It's not just like anyone. Yeah.

It's almost like, who initiated that suggestion? Sure. The best friend or him. Yeah. Yeah. Or like the girlfriend and him when they got back together. Sure. Now wife. Yeah. Was it like, hey, babe, I don't think we should talk about who we slept with. Yeah. Oh, I fucked your friend. Yeah. Yeah. Like who suggested that? He said we. It was probably him, huh? Exactly. That's my thought. This was posted three years ago. There's no updates.

I want to know if it's his kids so bad. It would have to be, I would think. Well, what if she was like hooking up? Yeah. She's living her life. I don't know.

I'm looking. There are a couple comments from him. Someone just goes like, at the very least, you need to pay child support. And he responds back, I believe the husband still is going to be her father. I doubt that they will want anything from me. Like any involvement from me. Yeah, if her husband has been there since the beginning of the baby's birth, he's just as much the father. I don't think DNA indicates who's the dad or who's not. Yeah. Well, and someone goes...

Wow. Way to take absolutely no responsibility for your own contraceptive choices. Any responsibility for your sexual health. You know STDs are a thing, right? And Opie goes, she told me we were safe. I did use condoms sometimes. Okay. Well, maybe one of those times you didn't. I guess he doesn't know if he's the dad either because he never got the test like you're saying. Yeah. There's no mention of a paternity test results. Oh, it was her idea.

That they don't talk about people they slept with. Oh. So I guess, I mean, I would still want to know, but you know, to each their own. Yeah. Maybe she slept with her best friend's ex-boyfriend. Can you? Yeah. Maybe. Oh my God. What if these two are just like frenemies? Yeah. The two girls. Or like swinger couples. You never know. Yeah. Okay. Moving along. Trigger warning, you guys. This next one does contain talks of miscarriage.

Okay, so this next one is titled, Am I the Asshole for Calling the C-Word to My Future Sister-in-Law After She Tried to Gain Sympathy with My Miscarriage?

I'm sorry if this seems all over the place. I'm just so mad that everyone is siding with her. My future sister-in-law, Ella, 30, is your typical annoying bubbly girl. She is always happy and smiling, quote, caring and compassionate. My brother, 37 male, is foolishly in love with her, and it seems like the rest of my family is wrapped around her finger.

My brother and I, 34 female, grew up very close. When we were 10 and 7 years old, our father passed away, and our mother, 69 female, struggled as a single mother until she met our stepfather, 65 male, who is truly an amazing person. They had our little brother, 28 male, who happens to be Ella's best friend, and the reason she met our older brother,

28 days ago, my husband, Mark, 34 male, and I tragically lost our pregnancy at 22 weeks. It was devastating then, and it still is. I haven't been ready to talk to my therapist about it yet. This was our first pregnancy that progressed this far, so we were filled with hope. Since the loss, I made it clear that I didn't want to talk to anyone and that I didn't want any visits. I

However, Ella keeps sending deliveries of food every now and then with stupid ass messages like, quote, you are cared for and quote, we're here for you. Thinking of you. It infuriates me to hear Mark commenting on how nice and thoughtful she is.

Last night, she asked me if she could come over with my mom and my brothers to quickly discuss something about their wedding. She apologized, saying she knew it wasn't the right time, but the wedding is only a month away, and this conversation couldn't be delayed any longer. In essence, Ella wanted to postpone the wedding for another six months. It is a small affair hosted at a friend's place, and since she briefly explained the situation, the vendors are willing to change the date at a minimal cost.

To paraphrase her, she said, quote, I don't feel like this is the best time to have a wedding. I really want you at my wedding party, and I suspect you won't want to be around people asking you what happened, as if she knows what I want or don't want. Of course, everyone started going off about how this is such a great idea and how sweet that was of her moving a special date for her just to accommodate me,

What made me snap was what she said next. Quote, whenever you feel up to it, we could have a girl's day and get you a new dress. Mine was pink made specifically to fit my growing bump.

I screamed at her that she was a cunt for looking for sympathy at my expense and that I hoped my brother and everyone else could see her for the conniving and manipulative piece of work she was. That the only girl's time I wanted to have is with my beloved girl that isn't with us anymore. All of them were stunned and she ran out crying. My brother told me to seek therapy and my mom and little brother just left.

This morning, my husband told me that while he understood and shares my grievance, I shouldn't lash out on innocent people. That she only wanted to help. So Reddit, am I the asshole? I mean, I wouldn't say you're an asshole because you're going through a lot. I can't even imagine what it feels like to lose a child like that.

Are you being mean? Maybe a little bit. I don't feel like the sister-in-law did anything wrong. Honestly, it sounds like she has the most genuine intentions. Yeah. I mean, for her to move her wedding, that's a lot. That's no easy feat. When you think of how long it takes to plan a wedding and her saying, it's going to be small anyways. I know. And I'm moving it because I love you and I want you to be there. Also, like, it's like, oh, well, she's moving her wedding to get attention. Yeah.

girly, the best way to get attention would be to have the wedding. I don't know that attention is worth having to pay more money to move the wedding. There's no way. It's her wedding day. She's going to get attention either way. She is the bride. It is her day. There's a lot happening here in terms of mental health and suffering. Grief. Grief. Suffering a big loss. But it just seems like this person

- hasn't ever liked her sister-in-law. - Yeah, that's what I think too. And she's really projecting all of this other stuff onto her. And like, there's people in this world where

I've even met some where like I can be really pessimistic sometimes and I'm like, you almost like look for an excuse to not like them. And I feel like that's kind of what she's doing. It's kind of sad. Yeah. Maybe she's really close with her brother and her relationship with him has changed because of his new wife or soon to be wife or something. I bet you that's the case. Or maybe she, I feel like.

When you go through like the five stages of grief, maybe she's in the anger phase right now. So maybe too, she's like the, like her sister-in-law is getting to celebrate something really exciting and new and she isn't celebrating anything. She's going through something really tough, but I feel like her sister-in-law is doing a really great job at making sure it's done in a way that

a call may dates her which she doesn't have to do she's the bride she could literally be like she could be an asshole and be like we're having the wedding and if you don't come I'm gonna be mad at you yeah like I don't care that you lost your baby that's not what she's saying do you know what I mean well and there has been stories like that that I've seen where it's like okay it's three months after your miscarriage like

I feel like you should be over it by now. Yeah. There's stories like that. But I think you're spot on the money, especially with what you said about them being really close. Because she does say in the post, my brother and I grew up very close. And there's only a three-year age gap between them. So I bet that is like...

They were besties. And then another person came in, which the other side of the coin of this is Ella, the sister-in-law, is best friends with her younger brother. So not only was she best friends with the younger brother, she kind of... Now she's marrying the older brother. Yeah. So it's like, this girl is probably like, God, you took everything of mine. And now you're trying to make my loss yours. And like, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, it's not that deep. Like...

I could see this. Like, I could see myself being, like, negative and just being like, just leave me the fuck alone. Yeah. But at the same time, I could see, like, no, this couldn't be me. Like, I would...

Like someone sending me food deliveries, girl. I know. She's always stupid messages. But that's what I'm saying. She's in a phase of her grief right now where like she doesn't want to experience things like that. And I mean, how can you blame her like going through a loss like that? Especially with her saying like, this is the furthest we've gone and we were so excited. So I feel like when you're in states like that, like it doesn't matter what you're doing. Like I'm going to be pissed off. Especially with someone who's so positive and trying to help when you don't feel good. That doesn't help either. Yeah. Well, and it's,

It's tough because I think like she went about it too in the most respectful way. Yeah. Like it was very clear. Here's my boundary. I don't want people coming over. And it was like, okay, well, I'm going to respect your boundary, but I just want to make sure you're taken care of. So I'm sending you food because I know in this terrible time, the last thing you want to do is cook and do anything. Like you don't even think about eating when you're in this stage. I know. So we do have some comments from Opie. Yeah.

A lot of people were flipped on this one. There was a lot of not the assholes. There was a lot of you're the assholes. So people really went back and forth.

Someone goes,

Those notes look nice, but when you've stated you want no contact, they're actually incredibly rude and inconsiderate. So that's an interesting take. Yeah.

I guess. Like, maybe it's kind of annoying, like, salt in the wound. Yeah. I already told you to leave me alone. I don't want anyone. Like, truly, just leave me alone. Yeah. I don't know that I'd call her the C-word if I was that mad. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't say you're being annoying and it's pissing me off. Yeah. So, OP responds and goes, exactly. Why doesn't she understand? She lost a pregnancy earlier this year. She should have understood, right? Yeah.

She acted as if nothing happened. A few weeks later of the incident, she was again being her usual self. I'm so mad at everyone. So this girl lost a baby as well. Yeah. Like, she does understand what you're going through because she's fucking been there. Yeah. Well, and everyone navigates it differently. So maybe... Yeah. Maybe bubbly, whatever she was calling her. Maybe she likes to be around people and likes when people help her. So she thought people would like the same thing. Mm-hmm. But...

OP doesn't? No. I don't know. There's another comment like, info, what has Ella done to you in the past that caused you to believe she's looking for sympathy at your expense? And she goes, nothing personal. She is just kind of an extrovert that wants you to feel welcome and always worrying if you need anything or help or whatever. And everyone is, how sweet, how caring, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

So I think she just hates, like, I just think she doesn't like her. Yeah. And when you don't like people, you're going to look for anything to just like more evidence. Yeah. Did you see the way she looked at me when she walked in or, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. No, I've, I have done that with people. Like someone once like walked in and they're like, they're like, can you get me a nice tea? And it was like some random place. And I'm like,

I'm your friend. I don't work here. Oh, I'm not working today. Sorry. I don't work here. I was like, okay, the entitlement. So like, I get that. Like,

It's so goofy. The top comment on this is she literally did almost everything as correctly possible in a situation like this. You're the asshole. Sorry for your loss, but that's not how you treat people. Every day we hear stories on Reddit about in-laws who overstep boundaries or don't consider others. She wasn't doing any of the usual negative stuff. I mean, yeah, I could see that.

But that's what I'm saying. But everyone receives things differently. Do you know what I mean? So to her, it feels like that. But she already doesn't like her clearly. So clearly. Yeah. We do have a comment from the brother. He found the post. That's crazy. Oh, yeah. She put her real name in the wife's name in there. I wonder if she did. Well, didn't she put the sister-in-law's name in there?

She did, but sometimes people give fake names. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So... I believe everything I read on the internet, so I'm glad you told me that. Oh my God, he made his username Victim of Evil Sister. Dude. Isn't she a middle child? Yeah. Oh, that too. You know they get the least amount of attention or whatever. I'm the middle child, but I'm the same as her. I have an older brother and a younger brother. Oh, okay. And like, I feel like I'm the favorite because I'm the only girl. Oh.

But like that's different in every family. Every family's different. Well, I don't think I'm the favorite personally. I think it's my little brother. Yeah. But if you ask my brothers, they'll say it's me. Yeah. But you're the oldest. Yeah. Even Drew would say too, it's my little brother. He's the easiest one. He's the little baby. Yeah.

Um, so he goes, Hey, I'm the big brother. Jesus Christ, Rachel. The next time you want to try to make yourself the victim, like you always do do it on a site that I don't use almost every day.

You can thank Ella for being the only reason I've even kept a relationship with you because she has been that tolerant of your garbage. You've made it no secret that you hate her. But hey, smart of you to try and leave out how she's black and you called her more than the C word. But I think letting everyone know the actual words you called her would not be allowed whatsoever on this sub.

I just got the fucking chills. That's crazy. But I'll verify for everyone here. You're a bully, a racist, and an asshole. And you always have been. And way to mention Ella's miscarriage, but not mention your own response to it, which was an eye roll and a smirk. And then make an offhanded comment about how Ella should have been more careful because you thought her working out of the house was bad for the baby.

That's crazy. You know what's bad for a baby? A garbage person like you. Oh my God. Delete my number. Delete mom's number. Delete Ella's number. Go rot. Holy shit, you guys. I didn't know there was a comment from the brother. That's crazy. Well, I was going to say too, because I don't ever like to comment on women because I think women are...

scrutinized every single day for literally existing for sure but it almost felt like she doesn't feel good about herself and she hates that ella does like she's jealous of her do you know what i mean as a person outside of her brothers so she's like she always bubbly and she thinks she's better than everyone i'm like because she's nice i don't know do you know what i mean yeah well and i wonder like now knowing the context of her being black there is so much stigma around black women that like

Like they're more aggressive. They're mean. It's like, okay, so she's not what you people stereotypically associate with. She's bubbly and happy. And if you're racist, then it's like that is even more like nails on chalkboard for you. Yeah. Because she's not what you would expect from a black woman.

Yeah. And even then, if she did act like stereotypical, it would be even worse. Her. Yeah. Her understanding of who Ella is. Exactly. Yeah. It's Ella is like damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. This is a catch 22. Like there's there's nothing Ella can say or do or gesture wise. And like knowing that Ella went through her own miscarriage and literally OP smirked and then made comments that, oh, it's your fault. You should have been more careful. Sure. Yeah.

Even statistically speaking, like, Black women in general are not believed when it comes to health, especially when they're pregnant. Like, they suffer the most miscarriages or deaths by birth or things like that. Like, so for her to already, like, experience...

experience a miscarriage and still be so positive for her through her sister-in-law, like when she just experienced her own, like because their pain is never believed. That's crazy. This is something I'm like super passionate about. And it's actually something like when I get a little bit more time, I want to really create like an advocacy program around this. Women of color are 240% more likely to die in childbirth. Like, and you have celebrities like Beyonce and Serena Williams that almost died because of

childbirth complications and they weren't believed. And then you have it up until recent years in certain textbooks. I believe it was a nursing textbook, but I could be wrong because it's been a minute. There were textbooks that said black people, especially black women, don't feel pain. Yeah. The same as white women. And then I just saw something fucking crazy that women's pain is like not believed at all. Yeah.

You don't get like topical anesthesia when you get an IUD. They can offer it. They can easily offer it. They can give you a shot of lidocaine in your cervix so you don't feel it. But guess what? It's just a pinch. Yeah, right. You're sticking the tool and clamping the cervix. It's not just a pinch.

You're popping in to tissue and they demonstrate it on an orange. It's not cool, you guys. And sorry for anyone that's getting an IUD place soon. Like ask for lidocaine, find a provider that will do lidocaine. But people, women aren't believed. And then there was a story that just came out that there was a nurse that for a certain procedure, I think it was egg harvesting at an IVF clinic.

but they were switching out the fentanyl in the IV for saline. So these people were undergoing a procedure without any, any sort of pain control. That's crazy. That, that person rot in hell. Yeah. Take all her licenses away. Yeah. Oh, so bad. So I just can't believe like miscarriages are not anyone's fault. And to imply otherwise, no.

Well, it's like, leave that out. Like, that's like, I mean, obviously she's trying to victimize herself like her brother was saying. Yeah. He's on a website he used daily. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Knowing this full story, this could not have been me. No, I am not this person. No. No way. I'm like stunned after the comment from the brother. Yeah. I like literally my brain just like broke after that. I'm like, damn. Like way to tell. Like, I know there's always multiple sides. Yeah.

Okay, moving along. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes.

Gillette razors, Metamucil, Crest toothpaste, secret body spray, and a Swiffer power mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Okay, so this one is three months old. It's coming from True Off My Chest. It is titled, My friends had sex while I was sleeping in the same bed.

Okay. I can't talk with anybody about this, so I guess I'm just trying to rant here on Reddit about this. This happened two days ago, so it's still fresh and I don't know how to process this. I'm just going to use some random names because I don't ever want them to find out I wrote this. My best friend Alex and another good friend Paul were on call around 5 p.m. on Easter Monday. They were planning for a trip to the Netherlands in the summer where we're going to visit a good online friend together.

I was pretty hyperactive and full of adrenaline that day, so I decided to go on a walk while still being on the call. After a while, we spontaneously decided to have a sleepover at Paul's, so I packed my things and arrived at like 6 p.m. We were having fun the rest of the evening. We played cards, listened to music, and talked a lot. At around 12 p.m., we decided to go to bed. We were sleeping in one bed.

You must know my friends are very cuddly. I would have joined the cuddling, but I can't sleep without my free space, essentially, because it was hot, sweaty, and skunky in this room. Okay.

No wonder, considering we were three people on a warm spring day in a pretty tiny room. So not long after we all went quiet, I felt how the mattress was moving in a pretty regular rhythm. For the picture, I was lying on the wall side, Alex in the middle and Paul at the edge of the bed. I was already suspicious, but at first I just ignored it and didn't think much of it. But after a while, Alex started heavy breathing.

My virgin ass started panicking. In the evening, before we were talking about our sleeping habits, I told them purposefully how I'm not tired at all and how I will have trouble falling asleep that night. I did know before the sleepover that Alex and Paul are sleeping with each other, but I didn't think they were going to do it when I am laying next to them. I mean, I joked about a threesome before, but...

Girl. But I always make it clear that it stays a joke because I will never hook up with close friends. Anyways, they continued doing that next to me. I heard every move loud and clear because I was two centimeters away from them. I didn't know what to do because I felt uncomfortable as fuck and I didn't want to just go, quote, hey, can you please stop? I'm awake.

What? No, it's not. Yeah.

What the heck? Then I get mad.

At this point, I just accepted my fate. I stole the blanket and tried to sleep. The sleeping pill made me nauseous and thirsty as fuck. Alex and Paul did it through the night all over again, and my perception of time was so distorted. I can't tell if I even slept for one minute. In the morning, they acted all innocent and wished me a good morning, asked me how I slept and all that.

We had breakfast together, acting like nothing happened. Alex needed to head out quickly because they had a school-related meetup. I didn't want to stay any longer and pissed off right after Alex did. What the? No. No. Are they all, did they say their gender? No genders are mentioned. I'll peek at the comments. Yeah, no pronouns, nothing. And it doesn't look like there's comments elaborating on it as well.

And like kind of Alex is like, it's such a like it could be for anyone. Yeah. Oh, my God. Why am I blanking on that word? Because Morgan's the same way. It can be for like any sex. It's like unisex or not unisex. What is that word? Gender neutral. Yes, that's the word. OK, use that because unisex is not inclusive. Sorry.

A gender neutral androgynous or non-gendered name is a name that isn't specific to child's gender or sex assigned at birth. Okay. Yeah. So I want very like gender neutral names for all my kids. So like Alex is one of those, like it could go either way. So it's like Paul, you would maybe assume this person doesn't mention their name. So you have no idea. Like it could be three guys. It could be two girls and a guy like you have no idea. So yeah, nothing mentioned.

I guess it doesn't matter because that's nasty. I don't care what you identify as. Don't do that while I'm in there. I literally would flip out. Yeah. I would flip out. I get that like because whoever the OP said like my virgin ass. I understand that feeling so far. The first time I saw like someone smoke weed in front of me, I went home and I cried because

Because I didn't grow up going to like parties and stuff like that. Yeah. In high school. So it was like my first week of college. I also went to college and I went to the University of Oregon, which is pretty much like a weed capital. So like. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that going there. Like it's all hippies. I didn't know that. And so my friends were like, yeah, go get your bong from upstairs. And I was like, bong?

And she came down the nozzle. I couldn't look at it. And I called my mom. I was like, they were doing drugs in front of me. And she was like, I mean, kids are going to do that. Your mom is so chill. I know. She's like, you're going to be okay. And then I remember one time I was with all my friends and they were like, we're doing Molly tonight. Who's doing it? And they were like counting. And then I was like, no, I'm good. And then I went home and I Googled what's Molly. I didn't know.

you innocent yeah so i get being like and i'm a virgin on top of that so i don't know what they're doing next to me that's so gross i would have been mad though like i would have stopped and be like are you guys being serious but then i don't know because when you're that nervous and like you're that friend that just kind of goes along with everything yeah like that would be me like i can relate to that like something like that would happen to me but i would be like

I would like sit up really fast and scare them and then be like, can you? I don't know what I would have done. I honestly would have been like, you guys can't. I would have just been like, you gotta be kidding me. You're not serious right now, right? You can't be serious right now. There's no way. Like you better just be dry humping over your clothes. And even then like, can you go in the bathroom and do that? Like, why do I have to lay here? It's kind of like, do you ever watch like Love Island?

I really want to get into it. Okay. I'll send you my favorite seasons, but, um, I want to watch the Molly May one. Cause I heard that one's the best one. I heard that one's elite. That one. And then I think there was one right before that, uh, where they were in Spain or something, but I have to look up. But anyways, um, that that's crazy. Cause they're all sleeping in the same room and they have to be mic'd. And so like, even when they're laying down, they don't have the mics on, but there's mics above them. So sometimes they'll like, they'll fuck like while other people are like, they're all sleeping.

and like there's couples like every season there's gonna be at least one couple that doesn't care so that's why like i haven't watched the u.s version but i can't british people don't care let me tell you something about people from europe they don't care so they'll be like no that's what we did or they'll go in the bathroom and you hear everything it's crazy what experiences have you had oh no i'm talking about love island

Oh. Not me. I was like, damn, Jason, what are you walking into, girl? No. And then, I mean, if they ever did a queer season, I can't even imagine what would happen. Queer people are crazy. Oh, my God. That'd be really fun. Yeah. I'm waiting for a queer season of The Bachelor or Bachelorette. Yeah. I think Bachelorette would be so good. I know. I think so, too. Did you see The Bachelor, the golden one? It's a guy. He's like 73. Mm-mm.

His wife died and he's ready to find love again. How cute. It's literally going to be the best season, I think. I love that. This is what I want. This is the content I want. This is what I'm asking for. Old people finding love. You should put your dad on there.

I literally... If he breaks up with his girlfriend. Oh, okay. They've been together like a year and a half, two years now. Oh, okay. But, hey. He's got crazy stories, that guy. Put him in there. Oh, my God. He would flourish on a show like that. He would crush it. Yeah. This story, though, is...

is something that kind of happened to my friend Alejandra. So we went to Mexico for my friend Lauren's birthday. Like recently, right? A couple weeks ago. And Alejandra and our other friend Chill, who you guys have not met yet, you will meet Chill very soon. She was sharing a room. And there was like another guy friend who...

Lauren's boyfriend's best friend that was on the trip, he was sharing a room with Lauren and her boyfriend. So both of them like didn't have rooms. Chill and the friend wanted to hook up. Sure. So Chill and Alejandra weren't sharing a bed, but I mean, it's a foot apart. And so Chill brings them back and Alejandra's, you know, sleeping in the bed and they have sex.

Alejandra didn't wake up. Oh, okay. But like you could tell the next morning when like it kind of came out like, yeah, we fucked next to you, Alejandra. She was like, what? Why would you do that? Why would you tell me that? Just keep it a secret, guys. Keep it a secret. I don't know. Well, can't you go in the bathroom? Go in the bathroom. The bathrooms were really nice and like the shower had like a big bench so like you could have

had like actual good shower sex versus your leg up there yeah cause like sometimes well or like sit and you get on like you know straddle him but like shower sex usually isn't good cause it's just so hard to maneuver and you're like you put your leg on the wall do you like crouch in the shower lay on the in the tub like what does that look like it's hard it's not I personally don't find it enjoyable but

But like they had a good setup. So it's like I would pick that. Even the counter in there. There's plenty of room in there to do so. For straight people sex. Gay people sex. We could have sex everywhere. But straight people sex. There's lots of ways you could have done it in there. There's so many ways. I was going to. I don't like this saying. So I was going to be like, there's a lot of ways to skin a cat. But I don't like that saying. So we need to find one that replaces that. Like what can you skin that's.

I don't know. We need a new one for that expression. But you guys get it. But yeah, I don't like this. Top comment. What the fuck did I just read? No.

Your friends are gross as hell, dude. That is just way, way, way, way overstepping boundaries. Why didn't they go fuck in any other room of the house? I don't know, dude. That seems really weird. I don't think I would even be able to get horny if one of my homies was sleeping in a bed with me and my girl. And if we did, we'd leave the room like normal person. Sounds like they got off to the fact that you were right there and that you were asleep. Therefore, you could not consent. Oh.

super disrespectful if they are willing to do this then they might take it further stay safe okay yeah i mean for them to do it twice too that's like he came back in the bed yeah this definitely feels like a kink now that it's been pointed out like is that what it's called voyeuristic or voyeurism where you have sex in public or is that just sex in public i'm not sure i don't know what it's called when you like people like the idea of like something caught like turns you on i feel like that's voyeurism okay

So maybe that's what it is. I don't know. I feel like they knew that OP was awake too. I mean, it sounds like they literally all laid down and like five minutes later just went for it. Yeah. It doesn't sound like there was like a delay in this whole. No. Let's wait an hour. Yeah. And then like, it's not like they were like, hey, hey, Ashley. Yeah. Are you asleep? Okay, she's asleep. Let's do it. I'm imagining too, like, because they said Alex was in the middle where they straight people sex like laying facing. Yeah.

Oh my God. Can you imagine if they were like. Because that's what they said that the lineup was like that. Yeah. Can you imagine if they were like. Like facing. Facing that person. That's what I thought. And then so it's like they're looking. It's like you're fucking me but I'm looking at so and so sleeping. Yeah. I don't know. No.

That thing about consent though is so real. I didn't even think about that. I didn't either. You know how gross men will do stuff like touch themselves in public because it makes people uncomfortable? Yeah. Not to say that's what they're doing, but that's what it kind of reminds me of. Yeah, it does. Which you're not asking for consent for people to watch you do stupid shit like that. I don't like this one anymore. I don't like it. We should do the coconut one then. Okay. No, I'm just kidding. People are screaming, no! No!

No, like I said, I am being very, very nice to everyone. I had a story. I had my mom come on a Patreon full-length episode. I don't think people understand the coconut story is actually child's play compared to what I read with my mom and my brother. Oh, shoot. Okay. Like there's a story. It's a really famous Reddit story about a Jolly Rancher.

and I feel like you told me this it is probably one of the worst stories I've ever read like truly and I don't usually gag like I can read the worst of the worst and I don't gag like I gagged reading this story I truly was like wow I kind of understand what people feel when they're like I can't handle it I threw up I had to turn it off because like I was like damn yeah um

This is bad. Yeah. It's by far the worst. There's Jolly Rancher and then there's a story about a Dorito. What's with the food? What's going on there? It's always the food stories. Is it always men? The Dorito? No, both involved women in some regard. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Because I know the coconut one involves a man. Yeah. I'll tell you the spark notes of the Jolly Rancher story.

And then I'm not going to share it on the pod. So no one worry. What you're going to get next is Dason's reaction to hearing it. Okay. Okay. Which might encourage you some of you to go to Patreon. Yeah. Oh my God. Why does it? That's pretty gross. My eyes are watering. What does that mean? Straight people are so gross. Yeah. Yeah. It was a really bad one. Dorito is in my opinion, worse.

So head over to Patreon. Enjoy. That was crazy. What did your mom think? Oh, go to the Patreon and you'll see. Her reaction was unreal though. Okay, moving along.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. This next one is quite interesting. Okay. It is somewhat recent, nine days old. It was posted in r slash marriage, which is not a subreddit I've been on before, but it is a place for sharing the better or for worse of marriage. It's titled, Is it strange my wife is going out to frat slash sorority parties?

I'm 38 years old and my wife is 35 years old. We live in a small college town, Starkville, Mississippi. Go Bulldogs. We both met in college in the same area we live currently. We got married and have a five-year-old.

Anyways, I trust my wife, but I feel like she's going through a midlife crisis. She doesn't go out every single weekend to frat parties, but last month she went out two times to a frat party and she goes to the local bars slash clubs around here sometimes by herself or with her friends. And she comes home drunk, like very hammered some nights to the point where I have to help her get into bed. She takes a cab or sometimes I have to pick her up.

Since the year started, she has been to five frat parties, and she goes to the bars slash clubs a lot more. She also goes to college-planned events slash concerts that are off-campus, like Bulldog Bash. A bunch of drunk college kids at a street concert.

I talked to my wife about this and she said she's just trying to have fun. Her sister also made a comment about her behavior because my wife and I are close with her sister. And she was just over to our house one day getting ready with my wife and I for our daughter's birthday dinner last week. Her sister said, quote, she's just living her best life. Don't worry about it. I think going to bars and clubs, like who cares? Yeah.

I guess it depends, though, because if it's college, but like ones that like college students frequent, I guess that's different. She's 35. Yeah. The frat parties and student led events. That's weird. You have no business being at a frat house as a 35 year old unless you're.

I mean, no person outside of college, I think, belongs in frats after they graduate. Unless you're a parent coming back for like homecoming. Yeah. Or like parents weekend or an alumni. That's what I was thinking too. Parents weekend. Like get your ass out of those frat houses. Especially because there's a lot of underage kids there, which I think is weird. There's a lot of underage drinking in those houses because it is...

a safe spot for minors to drink. Yeah. Like at my school, police could not step foot on frat property. They weren't allowed to. Okay. So that's why you didn't go to the bars. You would go to frats.

What is she going there for? I'm concerned. This is a little creepy. It is creepy. That's what I'm saying. Like they're young. It's weird. It's very creepy. Yeah. No business. No. At all. And getting trashed too. That's the crazy. Yeah. I feel like she's cheating. Probably. I don't know why. I just like get this like spidey sense tingle of like,

No reason to go there has a good intention behind it. Those aren't your friends. They're not on your wavelength. They are literally, if she's 35, the oldest. It's like 22, 23 maybe. Yeah, if they're like a fifth year, 23. But otherwise it's like 22, 21, 20.

18, 19, 18. Like you have no business being there. Some freshmen are like 17 sometimes too. That's a 17 year age gap. Yeah. That's too much. That is way too much. That's weird. Student events too? I don't know. Like even me, I'm going to be 30 this year. I would never go to a student bar.

I'm too, I feel too old. No, unless you're like going back with like a planned group of your friends from college. Yeah. And you're like, Hey, you guys, we're going back for this alumni weekend or something. Yeah. Homecoming. Um, this is so funny that I have this story right now. I'm actually doing a live show at my college in September. Oh my

Yeah. So I'm like, I was literally thinking, I'm like, how fun would it be to like, you know, do like a bar crawl? That would be so fun. Now I'm like, I don't know if I can. Like we're not going to frat parties. That's weird. But what if they invite me back to a frat? But you're not going every weekend. Do you know what I mean? That is true. Or every night. Well, I'm not going to get blitzed with like the little babies. But now I'm like, damn, this could be. What the fuck?

No. I don't know. What is she looking for when she goes to events like that? Yeah. That's what I want to know. Well, not the Bulldog Bash. What's going on there? The Bulldog Bash. Bulldogs. That's weird. Yeah. Top comment on this one. No one's going to say that it's weird a 35-year-old is partying with people practically half her age? Question mark, question mark, question mark. It's weird. Because I guess initially in the comments, people were kind of ignoring that.

Someone goes, I'm 27 and I'd feel weird partying at a frat house as a married woman. Yeah. Yeah, I would too. Like, I don't, this is just, I'm beyond. Someone goes, it's weird as a single person, to be honest. Yeah, I'm 29. I definitely can't step foot. I can't do it. Yeah. But if I have any University of Minnesota students listening, yeah.

I'm performing a live show with Jake Shane, Octopus Lover. Oh, fun. Okay. Tuesday, the 26th of September. It's during homecoming week, guys. Oh my gosh, how cute. I hope I see you there. Did he go there too?

I don't think so. Oh, you just invited him to be the guest? They invited him to be. They were like, we want these two people and we're going to put them together. And that's how it went. Oh, okay. Yeah. I heard he's really cute. That's going to be a great episode or whatever. I know. The show's going to be amazing. Yeah. I know. I'm really excited for that live show. It'll be good. I'm trying to get him on an episode too. So we'll see. We'll see. See how it goes. Yeah. I'm quite concerned with this one. Someone talks about Coachella. Yeah.

They're like, I went to Coachella a few years back. I was 26 at the time. And even I felt extremely out of place, surrounded by 19 to 21-year-olds. At Coachella? Yeah. I didn't really notice anyone being young there. No. I mean, it's weird when I see parents are with, like, little kids. I always think that's trippy, but... So many people bring, like, their babies to raves. Yeah, there are, like, three or four. And they put them in those little, like, knapsack things on their back. Yeah. At least they have the little headphones, so they're thinking of that. I literally...

Fuck the parents that don't get their kids headphones. This is a hot take. But if you are bringing your kids to sporting events, football games, concerts, and you don't buy your baby or toddler those little ear headphone things, you're a bad parent.

I feel like in most venues they make the kids put them on, right? No. No? Oh, that's a choice? Yeah. Oh, okay. I follow someone on Instagram from college and she has like a husband that plays professional hockey. Okay. Had their baby and the first game the baby went to, no earplugs. And I'm like,

But I think someone must have said something to her because the next time she posted a picture of the baby at a game, she had the earmuffs on. And I'm like, fuck yeah. I was like, Morgan even yells at me when we go to stuff because I don't wear earplugs to anything. Didn't I buy you a pair? No, you told me you're going to make me wear them every time I see you. That's what you told me. I bought. I must have not given them to you yet. Oh, okay. I gave you your mugs though. Yeah. That I remembered. But no, I got earplugs. I got to give them to you. Okay. What?

Yeah, like at Coachella, Morgan's like, oh, what earplugs are you wearing? Well, I don't wear those things. She's like, don't you want to be able to hear when you're older? I'm like, I mean, yeah, but I didn't know I was supposed to wear them. I like that they have like the little loops ones that look like earrings. I think those are cute. Yeah. Yeah. No, they're very discreet. You can't tell. They're clear. They just, your hair covers them mostly anyways. And it's better to protect your hearing because...

Hearing loss is really debilitating. You don't realize it, but it can affect... This is the OT in me coming out. It can affect all your occupations. And think about one of our most important functions in life is our social abilities and our sense of connection. Your sense of connection...

and how close you feel with a sense of community can literally dictate your quality of life and how happy you are. So if you're hard of hearing, you lose the ability to go out and hang out with friends and converse with people and all this stuff. And it really impacts your quality of life. So everyone out there, wear earplugs. If you want a really good pair, I'll link them in the description. They're edimodic. And what they do is they just bring down the decibels, but it doesn't change the quality.

Oh, okay. So you still hear the concert like as it would, but it's just like a little softer. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I have like sensory stuff too. I hate loud noises. Me too. What are you not wearing earplugs then? Like when I was washing my hands upstairs, that blow dryer thing, so loud. I don't use it. I did it for two seconds. I was like, and I just wiped my hands on my pants. Yeah. I couldn't take it. No, I wiped my hands on myself.

I don't. I can't. If I have to flush the toilet, I'll close my ears. I know it's going to be too loud. Like on the airplane, it's too loud. It's too loud. Can't do that.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now, through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes, Gillette Razors, Metamucil, Crest Toothpaste, Secret Body Spray, and a Swiffer Power Mop. The more you buy, the more you save.

Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Okay, moving along. So this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It's two months old now. Titled, Am I the Asshole for not making child-inclusive plans that someone in my friend group can't attend?

Howdy, guys. Recently, my friend group has been divided on an issue. I have a group of six friends, and there are significant others from high school. All of us are in our mid-20s. The only person with kids in our friend group is Jessica, who has two young children and is a single mom.

I'm the only person in my friend group that can host, as my husband and I own a decent-sized house and don't have anything stopping us from hosting, I guess. One doesn't want to host, two live with their parents and can't, another has roommates that won't let them, etc. We all live in a rural area, so there isn't really anywhere to go for more than a quick dinner, so someone hosting is the only way we can all hang out.

When I host, it's always later in the day, around 7 p.m.-ish. That's when most of us are off of work. I also have a no-children rule for my house, since my dog is afraid of children, and I honestly don't like kids anyways. My nephew yanked my dog's tail several times, so now my dog growls at kids.

I had a gathering last weekend, a dinnertime barbecue. Everyone was invited. Same rules as normal. Jessica asked if she could bring her kids because she can't afford a babysitter and since both of their dads aren't involved at all. I said no.

Because of my dogs and also because I don't want her baby and toddler at my house. The last time she brought them, she kept trying to push them off on other people who didn't want to hold them so she could relax. Also, her toddler puked on my $5,000 white couch, which I had to replace. No, she didn't pay for it. Why do you have to just clean it?

Jessica blew up at me in the group chat and said that I always exclude her. I told her I'm not excluding her. I'm excluding kids, all kids. She's welcome to come if she finds someone to watch her kids. I also told her she's welcome to host. She kind of went on about how none of that is possible and now she isn't talking to anyone. Our group is split. Half think it's my house, my rules. One said maybe if she screwed better guys, she'd be able to have a babysitter.

and two think that I should just let her kids come. To be honest, if it was someone else, I would maybe cave, but I don't like Jessica that much, especially since she didn't pay for my replacement couch. Am I the asshole for making child not friendly plans that someone in my group can't make it to? I would not. I don't think so, especially because you've let her bring them before and you haven't had good experiences with the kids being there. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just like really confused about a $5,000 white couch that like you couldn't like, I don't know. Puke is sometimes difficult to clean. I get nervous about these. Yeah. I always feel like I'm going to like spill my coffee on it. Like, yeah, sometimes stains don't come out, but like,

Damn, like $5,000 couch. Is this like restoration hardware cloud couch or what did you buy? Also, furniture is expensive. Yeah. In general. Yeah. But I don't know.

I feel bad for Jessica because it's like with friends like these who needs enemies. Yeah. But I understand wanting to like not have kids at certain events. Yeah, like weddings and yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I'm torn. But also this is like a low stakes barbecue. That's what I was saying. Put your dog away for a couple hours or something and then... Yeah. You know what I mean? Also, it's kind of a liability to have a dog like that. Like I would around anyone. Yeah. Yeah. And like you...

you one were a bad dog owner by not watching your dog with that toddler. Like you should have been the one like kind of advocating for your dog in that situation and be like, no, don't pull his tail little Timmy. Or like, I'm going to put my dog away while my whatever niece nephew is here to make sure that the dog is safe. Yeah. Like you set your dog up for failure and now you created an issue with your dog. That is a potential liability because

God forbid a kid rolls up at your house, dog bites the kid, parents get pissed, call animal control or sue you. Your dog could be put down. Like dogs don't get to just go off and bite people. They get put down. So you should be working on that issue with your dog to make sure your dog is happy and safe and

can function in public. Like, what happens if you want to take your dog somewhere? To the park or something? To the park. Or you take your dog to the vet and a kid happens to be walking out with their parents. Yeah. Your dog isn't going to go the rest of its life without seeing a kid. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Like, this whole group, they just seem a little...

unhinged from reality. Maybe she screwed better guys. No, that doesn't, your opinion doesn't count. Do you think they said that in the group chat to her? No, there's probably one outside of it where it's like not with her. If one of my friends said that to me, we'd be fighting. We would be physically fighting. Yeah. I also think too, like,

Like, here's an example. So I'm vegan, right? So when I, if you had like a birthday dinner, like at your house, when I go, I don't expect there to be vegan food. Like maybe there'll be like stuff I can pick from, but I already come having already eaten or I always bring food of my own because I don't expect other people to have to accommodate what I need. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So like in terms of having kids, right?

Like, kids are messy. Kids are... Because they're kids. You know, you can't really blame them. But as parents, I think sometimes there aren't parents that take accountability for their kids in terms of, like, I can't expect everywhere I go for my kids to be accommodated for, you know what I mean? And in a way where I can bring them everywhere. So, like, when they get mad they can't go to weddings. Like, I was at...

backyard barbecue thing. It was a life remembrance. We had just lost someone in my family, so they were doing a barbecue. They were doing speeches in the backyard. There was a porch. There were kids walking around them to go in the house. I couldn't believe it. While they're talking, I'm like, oh, I have this memory of her. I have this memory. And kids are walking around. And it makes me think of weddings when the maid of honor is giving a speech and kids are playing tag and they're like,

no you're pissing me off that makes me think like that's the parents responsibility because they're little kids like you can't I'm not gonna yell at someone else's kid no I'd be like whose kid is that tell them to come sit down that's your fault yeah they're acting like that yeah so if I mean puking you can't control either like

That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I think it's kind of sticky. I'm not a parent, but I would think that I wouldn't expect everyone to be able to accommodate me. But she is a single parent, so she does have things going on. Yeah. But maybe she could bring someone with her that can watch the kids while she's having fun. You know what I mean? I know. I don't know. It's hard. It's hard when you don't have a village because it does take a village. Yeah, a full support system. Yeah. I can't even imagine. It sounds like she doesn't. But you make such a good point because that does happen. And I think...

I think that's why a lot of people now are not letting kids come to events. It's the parents' fault for not controlling their kids at events. And if I was given a maid of honor speech and I saw kids running around, I'd be like, hey, Martha, come get your kid. She's running my speech. This is why a lot of people don't give kids plus ones or whatever. I don't know. But there was something at a friend's wedding I went to and me and my other friend were like,

damn like those kids are rowdy and my friend that got married didn't care like she obviously invited them yeah whatever but i was just like if those were my kids i would be embarrassed i would be embarrassed the puking like you said you can't really control that kids throw up they just throw up they can't i can't blame them for that i'm not going to go into that yeah it comes out of nowhere too it's like they're not expecting it either it just happens no i remember when

Me and my dad and my little brother went to Disneyland and we were sitting there watching like the electric parade and all of a sudden projectile vomit into the street. And I'm like, I look and I go, hell dude, where'd that come from? I was just so excited to be here. I couldn't help it. Yeah. He was just so chill before. And then I'm like, damn. That was your brother? Yeah. Yeah. He was little. He's like probably six, seven, somewhere in there.

Well, the top comment on this one, not the asshole, bordering on everyone sucks. She should be watching her kids and paying for the property they damaged. That being said, the comments about her reproduction choices is not kind. And someone goes, she didn't make those comments. And someone goes after, but she's happy to repeat them. Yeah. And doesn't refute them with any sort of caveat. Mm-hmm.

Next one goes, she's repeating them despite having nothing to do with the story. Yeah, that's what I thought too. She clearly endorses them and uses them to help her reach some sort of moral high ground. Well, I don't even like her that much. Then what are we talking about? Don't invite her. What's the issue then? This is a non-problem. Don't invite her. Yeah. You don't have to be around people you don't like. Yeah. Especially at your house. You don't have to invite them. People are really weird. Really weird. So...

The overall vote ended up being everyone sucks. Yeah, I agree. There were a lot of questions about the couch and people asking that. So there's edits. Edit number one, I got the couch professionally cleaned and they couldn't get the very large stain out. So, okay. I wouldn't want a puked up couch. I get it.

All right, relax.

Bro. You already paid for it. That's enough. Jessica's got two kids, single mom. She cannot afford a $5,000 couch. She can't even afford a babysitter. What makes you think she's like, oh, wait, no, I could pay for that. Sorry. There's no way. Also, I think what's really hard is like, it's kind of the same with borrowing clothes to people. Whereas like I borrowed you this shirt. It's a $200 shirt. If something happens, the understanding is you would replace it. Yeah. But I've had a friend once be like, I can't afford to replace that.

Well, then it's like, you shouldn't have borrowed it. And then it just puts both of you in like an awkward, uncomfortable position. And it's like, okay, well, maybe Jessica could replace your couch, but it's not going to be the same quality $5,000 couch. It might be a dupe. Like,

So I don't know. And I don't know what a judge would say. It's small claims or I don't even know what type of court you'd take them to. Judge Judy. Literally, this is a Judge Judy case. Do you think she offered to help clean it? Like Jessica did? I'm not sure. Another edit. You guys are really mad. I like nice white couches, but I'll give further info. One, I considered having the couch reupholstered, but the cost to have it shipped out, fixed and shipped back cost over 5K. So it's cheaper and easier to buy a new one.

Bitch, I reupholster furniture all the time. This is literally my passion project. You pay someone on lug. It's like $100 to have them pick it up and bring it to a reupholster. You buy the fabric. Depends on what fabric you go with. Sometimes it's $15 a yard. Sometimes it's $100 a yard. Depends. And then they reupholster it. To reupholster a couch, six chairs, and two accent chairs, it was $1,500. Wow.

Yeah, be serious. Be serious. That's the best way to put it. Be serious. Be serious. There's no way. Number two. Yes, I have a white couch and a dog. My dog knows not to go near the couch. I've had the couch for two years without incident. It was fine until Jessica's kids showed up. Number three. I didn't invite Jessica and her kids. I said no kids are allowed and she showed up with her kids while I was in the bathroom and set her kids down on the couch. Her kid then puked all over

over it and then they stay there for the party while she's giving one of the one of the babies to another person to hold yeah yeah she sounds like Jessica's getting more interesting yeah yeah I still think I feel like too I've heard for weddings two people will be like well my kids don't count I could bring them right and then people will be like all kids but mine don't count yes they do don't bring them

No kids. Yeah, no, that's really strange. I have seen a lot of Reddit stories where it's like, my cousin thought her niece was excluded from that rule. So people definitely think like, oh, it doesn't apply to me. Yeah, so she was like, that doesn't apply to me. You're the only one with kids. So it does. It does. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. No, I don't know. I'm like really torn on this one now having all the edits. I think I lean towards not the asshole.

But still kind of, I think everyone sucks, honestly, is the perfect vote. I think so too, yeah. They're just like, just, just all flumps. Truly, they're shitty. You're shitty for the couch. She's shitty for bringing the kids. I feel bad for her. She doesn't have a community and a babysitter. I just don't like them. I don't like any of them. No, me either. Okay, moving along.

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The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. This next one. I haven't read it. I know it has an update. Okay. I haven't read that either. But it's got 23K upvotes about. Lots of awards. Awards? Awards.

They get awards on Reddit. You didn't know that? No. Yeah, you get awards. So some of the awards it has are the Helpful Award, the Keep Calm Award, Stop, Chill, Relax, the Hugs Award. Like you need hugs. So it's got four of those. And it's got the Take My Energy Award. Seven of those. I love looking at the names of them.

Take my power award. So this person really, really needed the love. Okay. The title is, My husband is cheating on me with my best friend. Is it not the first story we read? This one's different? Different. Okay. Different. Yeah, that one, those, they were broken up. Oh, that's true, sure, sure. This person...

They're still they're married. Okay, got it I'm, honestly not sure where to start. So I guess i'll just start My husband and I have been dating since I was 19 and he was 22. We've been married for six years now We have two kids and i'm six months pregnant with our third Okay, two years ago. I found out my dad has stage three colon cancer My dad is my only parent as my mom passed away when I was 12. I

He's my favorite human, and life without him just doesn't seem as colorful. His laugh is contagious, and he gives these big bear hugs that seem to make all of your broken pieces feel like they're perfectly in place again. Whenever I've had a hard day, he doesn't poke and prod and just lets me vent and listens. About five months ago, we discovered the treatments aren't working for him, and in direct quote of the doctor, he said, "'Months, not years.'"

Since then, he's gotten progressively worse and is now losing memory. He looked at the dog he got for me on my 21st birthday and said, wow, that's a nice dog. Where'd you get it?

My husband has been my absolute rock. He's been there for me, holding my hand and helping me through this. He's been so loving and attentive to both my kids and I. Don't get me wrong. I am a mother first always. I don't allow myself to wallow. My kids are still loved, cared for, played with, and I haven't let my load slack around the house.

Once my dad got this updated prognosis, my husband encouraged me to quit my job. About a month later, we discovered we were pregnant again, and I still hadn't let go of my job. I kept holding out for some reason. After finding out I was pregnant again, he assured me it was still okay to quit my job, that honestly, it would save us a small fortune on daycare costs anyways. So I did. I quit my job.

My best friend and I have been best friends since diapers. Her family is like my family and vice versa. My mom and her mom grew up together. We've always been solid, and right after my dad's appointment, when we found out he had so little time left, I drove straight to her house, and she held me while I cried for hours. If there are soulmates in friend form, she was mine. Thick as thieves, is what my mom used to say.

This morning, as I was up with my three-year-old, he's sick, my husband's work alarm was going off. He has a few set, so I turned that one off and gently woke him up. He said he was up late working, so he took the morning off, rolled over, and went back to sleep. As I went to turn off the remainder of his alarms, I saw a text from my best friend on his lock screen that said, quote, I'm assuming since there hasn't been any angry pregnant lady on my doorstep, you haven't told her about us yet.

I feel sick. I literally feel sick right now. Time froze in that moment. I took his phone and walked away and just read their conversations. Four months, this man has been fucking my best friend. Four months, these people have been lying to my face.

And I know what you're going to say. You should have seen the warning signs. But I've been clutching this phone in my hand for two hours and nothing. He has been so loving and attentive to me, but he always has been. So kind. So gentle.

There's been no late night work nights except for once in a blue moon. There's been no lingering touches between them or even glances. They act as they have since the day I first introduced them. How sick is it that she calls him her brother, but she screws him.

I know so many people get a moment of clarity in situations like this, but I have none. Aside from being sad about my dad, I haven't changed. I'm still a loving wife and mother. I still doted on him and my children. I talked to him about how he is doing and how his fucking day was. I haven't allowed the ground to swallow me whole. I know what I have to do now, but I just don't want to. I'm about to lose my family and my support system in one blow. I'll confront him tomorrow. Today, question mark,

Today, I just need the last 24 hours of peace. As for her, I won't give her the satisfaction of a response. I don't care why she did it. She did it, and it's done. I was always the friend who cleaned up her messes. After today, I will cut her out of my life like she never mattered at all. This has to be the hardest storm I'll ever weather. But damn, I know I'll sail through it, if not for me, for my children.

Damn. I just want to cry. That's crazy. Why? The first one was so much better. I know. They were broken up. Now I'm like, not the asshole all the way, buddy. Yeah. Let's go back to that one. Wow. I'm kind of at a loss for words with this one. I know. Because there's so many layers in there of things she's going through. So many layers. And I think the saddest part about this one for me is...

is I've seen a lot lately on like the roles, especially for like CIS head couples of like the roles within the family unit and how the mom is always the one shouldering a lot of the emotional labor, the mental load, all this stuff. And there was some crazy stat I read where men invest 35% into their family, like of their own money. Whereas a woman with her own financial independence will invest 90% of her income into her family.

And I'm just like women as women, we we take on so much more in cis het relationships. I know it's probably a little different for gay couples and queer couples, but I hear this and I read this part where she said, I'm still so loving and attentive to both my kids. Don't get me wrong. I am always a mother first. I don't allow myself to wallow. My kids are loved, cared for, played with, and I haven't let my load slack around the house.

She's arguably dealing with one of the worst things in her life, losing her parent. Yeah, the last one. Her rock. And she can't even slack for one minute on being a mother. Like there is so much pressure to always be a good mom. You can't even take time to be a grieving daughter. And I just find that so sad in all of this. And like also the fact that like, you know, she had to mention it in this post because other people would have been like,

Well, what about your kids? I hate the, like when women get cheated on, when they go, well, like, were you not like picking up around the house or like, did you let yourself go? Well, I mean, you're six months pregnant. We're married. You're supposed to be in love with me. What are we doing? I never understand that type of narrative. Like,

So, I mean, it's definitely like you're saying, it's these like super strict, like heteronormative roles they place specifically mostly on women. Yeah. And that men kind of just get to be the guy that shows up. And I mean, I mean, it sounds like he's a good guy.

in other ways, but not in the most important way in being faithful and like loyal to your partner. I don't get that at all. Oh my God. It's baffling. And what you say is so, so spot on because she even says, I know people are going to say like,

You should have seen the warning signs. And the reality is sometimes there's not warning signs. There isn't. And then I saw like Tefi had posted yesterday, closure doesn't exist. Like when people say like, you probably just need closure. It doesn't exist. No, I think that's so true because I feel like you can never be 100% truthful with people in situations like that. So with her, like, even if she did see the warning signs, what does that mean?

would he have stopped doing it? He's already doing it. You know what I mean? She can't stop it. That's his fault and her friend's fault, not her fault. I cannot imagine ever doing this to one of my best friends. Like I look at, again, like you always kind of put yourself in these stories shoes and this would be me and Justin married three kids and Lauren and Alejandra like having a secret relationship. And it's like, no matter how

perfect. I thought someone else's partner was for me. That's my best friend. That's my sister. They're not even friends at this point. They're family. And that's this fucking people like your family. You've been friends since you were in diapers. Your moms were friends growing up. No one is worth it. No one.

Oh, like maybe she can't see science because she's pregnant and losing her dad. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a lot of other stressors going on that maybe, maybe the husband took that as opportunity. Like, okay, she's not really paying attention. So I'm like, yeah, quit your job. So then she like, it's like, oh my gosh, she's the best. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, it is interesting that obviously the affair was going on when he's pressuring her to quit. Because then she has to stay at home with the kids. Yeah, which also confuses me what he's telling the friend. Because for the friend, it's like, well, I assume you haven't told her about us yet. Almost like he's telling the friend, I'm going to tell her. I'm going to tell her. But you, in your real home life, just told your wife she can quit.

It's almost like he's not expecting to ever tell her. He's not expecting a divorce. No. Because if he was, he just set this woman up for the biggest fucking failure of her life. Yeah.

No job. Yeah. How can she get divorced? How can she leave him? Pregnant again. Pregnant again. Now what about the kids and staying home with the kids? Can she get her job back? It's almost like he set this up in case she did find out. So she was financially dependent upon him. Yeah. And she couldn't leave. Yeah. She has to stay. She'd have to be like, okay with it or whatever. Get over it. Yeah. What a fucking asshole. So the top comment on this one.

Oh, it's a small update. God, she posted an update quick. So there is like not a top comment from actual people. The top comment is her small update, but then there's also an additional update. So a small update about everything going on since my kids are now in bed for the night. I spent the morning gathering everything I could and making a checklist. I sat in my office for the better part of the morning telling my husband that I was preparing things for my dad. Not a total lie. I did have to get him sorted with hospice today.

My boss would be happy to have me back. However, my lawyer said pump the brakes on that idea for the time being. However, my old boss did tell me that whenever I'm ready, the door is open and to just give her a call.

Oh, thank goodness. At least she has that. I love this woman. Her having to prepare her dad for hospice in the midst of this is insane. I want to find this man and pop his tires. I hate him. He does not have access to my inheritance from my father nor my mother. My lawyer insured me in that.

I didn't mention her in the post, but my mother-in-law is an absolute angel. I love and adore her so much, and she has always been a shoulder to lean on. After he had gone to work for the afternoon, I allowed my now ex-best friend's mom and my mother-in-law to meet me at my dad's house. My kids were outside playing with now ex-best friend's older brother. I just handed them the screenshots. Saving them from an unsavory pictures and sex tape, though, I did tell them that existed. Oh!

To say they were furious was an understatement, and they are on my side completely. Angie, my now ex-best friend's mom, is ready to cut contact with her daughter completely. Oh.

Damn. Yeah.

With this post now on TikTok, I don't want him to find out by an app because one look at the story and he'd know it was about him. With permission from my lawyer, my now ex-best friend, her mom.

And my dad, my soon-to-be ex, and his parents will be having a get-together tomorrow. By the time they're sitting down and showing them everything and that I know, my dad, my kids, and my ex-best friend's brother, he's coming to help me juggle the kids and my dad, being big and pregnant doesn't help with mobility, will be at my dad's cabin a few hours away enjoying time and space.

I know a lot of people were hoping for me to get revenge or do psychological warfare. But honestly, after my kids went to bed, I took a shower and just broke. I don't have the strength or energy to dish anything out. I just want out.

Pretending like everything was okay today was too exhausting and I just don't want to do it. Once he finds out tomorrow, I'll update with Aftermath as I'm sure it will be huge. As for now, thank you all so much for your kindness, warmth, and support. Truly, your words have helped give me the strength to keep my head above water. I appreciate every single last one of you. I'm just so, so grateful that

For the mother-in-law, the ex-best friend's mom, but especially the mother-in-law because that is her child. Yeah. And there's so many of these stories where it does go the other way of like, I don't believe you. Or you let yourself go, so I don't blame him for it. Yeah. Same with like her ex-best friend's older brother helping and stuff like that. Maybe they'll get married.

That's where my like little hopeless romantic heart goes. I'm like, maybe they'll get divorced and then he'll be like the hero. Like, did you ever see that movie with... Is it Bride Wars? I was literally thinking that. She leaves the shitty guy. Yeah, she leaves Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt.

I know. And then ends up with the brother, Kate Hudson's brother in the movie, who is so much cuter. I know, I agree. I forget the actor's name, but I love him. Yeah, I feel like it's like Jake something. He's so cute. He is really cute. So cute. There's a guy at Spotify that is literally his doppelganger. Yeah.

Have you met him? I don't think so. No. He was at the happy hour for VidCon. Maybe I did. Yeah. I'll point him out next time. But he's so nice too. And he just got engaged. I'm like, I want to go on a double date with him and his fiance because he's just so nice. I love the team there. I know. They're all really cool. They're great. Okay. Let's get to this update so I don't have to hold you hostage too much longer. It is a long one. Okay. Buckle up, friends. Hello, everyone. I'm here with a much-awaited update.

Also, the original post was a month old and the update is coming also a month. So it's like this all happened speedy quick. Fast. Okay. Yeah. Hi, everyone. I'm here with a much-awaited update. For my typing sake, I'm going to give everyone fake names. So for the context, mother-in-law and father-in-law, Ruth and Joe, ex-BFF parents, Angie and Bob, ex-BFF, Jess, soon-to-be ex, Tyler, ex-best friend's brother, Jake. All

I'll also just refer to my dad as dad. I have a few things I want to get through, so I'll just summarize as best as I can. And if you have any questions, I'll answer them in the comments. To get this out of the way, because it feels important, yesterday I scheduled a same-day appointment with my OBGYN and got tested for just about every STD, STI out there. I got the results for most back, and they were all negative. There's a few that take up to two weeks to get the results back, so I'll be waiting on those.

When I met with my lawyer, I brought everything on my end financially wise, including the wills from both my dad and my mom, and I managed to get my hands on his financial documents. He stores his in his office in a locked box. I also brought over everything we had set up financially for my children. While I'm not totally sure if it's everything, I am pretty confident I got most of it. My lawyer was happy I managed to get my hands on that much.

Ruth even handed over her will to me from both her and Bob to ensure I was taken care of in the divorce. Oh, damn. Mother-in-law and father-in-law. My lawyer understands I'm wanting a divorce immediately. However, she wants to make sure she is thorough and isn't missing any key info. So hopefully I'll have actual divorce papers to give him in about 30 days. I'm not rushing her though. I'm letting the professional do her job. Now for the sit down.

I asked Angie and Ruth to describe everything in detail on what happened. Angie, the revenge seeker that she is, forced them to sit through a slideshow she put together of all the texts. Also, she didn't even go to it?

These are their parents showing them? Okay. Yeah, mom of best friend and mother-in-law. Yeah. I know a lot of you were concerned about one of them telling them sooner than later, but they were so secretive, they didn't even tell their significant others about what was happening. Once the slideshow ended, Tyler, soon to be ex, tried lunging for Jess...

and Joe actually had to force him to sit down. Tyler was shouting profanities at Jess and telling her she will regret this. Jess started crying and begging her parents for forgiveness.

Damn.

I don't understand why Tyler was lunging at Jess, though. Yeah. She didn't tell... You did this to yourself, you fuck. You both did it, yeah.

Oh, Tyler's dad was irate. According to Ruth, he looked like he was holding back on throttling him. From there, Tyler went straight home. I know because we have a ring doorbell camera along with a few cameras in the house for our kids to keep an eye on them when we aren't right next to them. Tyler came home and saw that most of mine and the kids stuff was gone and he lost it. Started yelling and throwing things. The house is now trashed with a few holes in the walls for decoration. When he didn't find us there, he went to my dad's.

While I did spend most of my day, he was at work packing and moving things into my dad's house. We were already at his cabin. Tyler took a baseball bat to my dad's door, trying and failing to break it down. My dad's neighbor actually called the cops on him and he was arrested. His parents, his parents refused to bail him out. Wow. Okay. We're not even done. Wow. Wow.

I had an appointment with my therapist today. I've had one for a year now since I was struggling with my dad, and it felt good to just cry it out and let everything out about how I was feeling. It was very helpful, and she gave me a few tools to work through my emotions with this one. I felt very grounded and empowered leaving my session today.

I'm also planning on setting up my children with the therapist when we get back from the cabin to figure out the best way to deal with telling them. I know people said that I shouldn't, but I will be telling them just in an age appropriate way. I don't want there to be secrets and lies between us. I've always been an open and honest as I can with them again in the most kid appropriate way. Just because they're small humans, they're still humans and deserve the truth.

How old are they? Yeah. Maybe when they're older. Why don't you just a three-year-old? I remember that. That's too young. Yeah. Like, yeah, you're getting divorced, but not... They don't... The details... I don't even think they need to know that. You know, sometimes you're like... That's like... It doesn't involve them. No. Don't do it. I had a handful of comments telling me I should stay and every man cheats. I should work through things because most of our marriage was good. No. I refuse to believe all men cheat.

My parents were married for 20 years and after my mom passed, my dad never moved on. I watched my dad love my mom for 12 of those years and cherish her. I will not accept anything less than that kind of love. Period. He never cheated, nor did she. While I'm not sure when I'll be ready to move on, fun and love is the absolute last thing on my mind at the moment. I refuse to let Tyler win and destroy love for me completely. I will move on from this.

Jess started blowing up my phone, demanding I fix this situation and immediately blaming me. My lawyer told me to not block text just in case they spill out additional info I was missing. She was playing the poor me card very hard. The thing is, though, I never influenced Angie and Bob to cut contact with their daughter. They made that choice on their own. She actually started blaming me for stealing the love of her life.

Yeah.

I also asked Angie and Ruth to not say anything about the divorce to him yet, purely just for my satisfaction, honestly. I know it's slightly petty, but keeping him in the gray area of not knowing is my small revenge to him.

To now threatening to call the cops on me for kidnapping. Telling me Jess wasn't the only one. Bingo! Just what I was looking for. To telling me I'm a stuck-up bitch. To threatening me. To back to begging me for forgiveness. Honestly, it was just a whiplash reading those texts. I'd be lying and saying if those texts didn't hurt me and terrify me all at once. But I refused to let him break me. This is a badass woman.

As for both of them, I don't think he is going to stay with her. I think he blames her for blowing up our marriage, honestly. Who knows, though? They deserve each other. I was initially okay to do a 50-50 split with Tyler for custody, but after this reaction, I don't feel comfortable with that. So I'll likely be going for full custody. Damn. Jake has about 30 days of leave he saved up, and he's going to be using them to help the kids and I get settled at my dad's house and honestly to be there in case Tyler tries to show up going crazy again. Hmm.

They're going to fall in love, you guys. I'm telling you.

He's been such a big help to the kids and I lately, and I'm forever in his debt for this. Last night after the kids went to bed, he hooked up his Xbox and we played a game called Diablo 4 together. Tell me, take my mind off things. It was fun. However, he did sort of confess that he's always had feelings for me. You guys. Someone's in the midst of things. But also told me not to say or do anything back. He understands a relationship or anything like that is not my mind and won't be there for a while. He isn't wrong.

But just that he's felt that way since we were teenagers and just wanted to get it off his chest. It's literally bride wars. I'm so happy, but still so mad. Okay.

Thank you again. Seriously, your comments, your support, your messages, all of it has been one giant breath of fresh air. Just knowing I have a whole online community willing to go for bat for me has kept me treading water these last few days. Your comments have popped in my head when I felt like just giving up on leaving him because it's so hard and gave me so many great points and helpful advice. I know I deserve more and I can't accept his actions.

Oh.

So I'll leave this here for now. If anything of importance happens, when I go back home, I'll update further. Thank you all, and I hope you have a wonderful evening. Ugh. At least I kind of have a happy ending. I love that so many people rallied around her because she only has her dad. Do you know what I mean? And they're like, he's sick. We're not even going to put this on him. And all these people stepped up for her. I love that. Unbelievable. Oh, my God. Oh.

I shouldn't have looked for it. I know there's another update too. No. Does she go back to him? No. I think… I feel safe in saying like… She is so strong. And like everyone else is saying like… I am so proud of her. Like… To have that strength is incredible because…

I did want to mention, like, I don't know if personally, like I would have the strength when you're so deeply invested and you have kids and you have this home and this life, it is so easy to give someone another chance. Yeah, of course. Like that's the easier option for sure. And I know I am very quick to jump to divorce. Yeah.

I get that. And I fully believe this is a 100% divorce, but it's always easier said than done. Right. Yeah. No. And so when I read these stories, I do say divorce because these people all do deserve better. But like, it's kind of like, Oh fuck. Like I, I don't know. I don't know if I would be so strong. I hope so. I would like to think so deep down because like when an ex has burned me,

I wasn't the person that needed closure. Yeah. I didn't even respond to the breakup text message. Oh, like I don't need closure. I, if you burn me, I'm done and I move on. Yeah. So it's like, I would like to think I'm, I'm good. Yeah. But like, like you said, the fact that so many people rallied around her when they did, like, they didn't need to, they didn't have to, their loyalties were to their children, other people. And the fact they did incredible, absolutely incredible. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. That's crazy. There's no need for her to see the husband. I already know what I what is happening. That's it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree. Wow. Okay, this this update is a lot shorter. So much has happened. But here are the things that have happened. Tyler discovered the post and asked me if I was seeking a divorce. I said I was he apologized for losing his cool asked if there was any hope for reconciliation. He not have said that had he known they weren't going to get a divorce. Probably not.

I said no. We did have a conversation about the kids and he'll be allowed to see them with supervision, which he agreed to. I had another meeting with my lawyer. Nothing of major importance happened there.

Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, has happened with Jake. He didn't take back his confession, but as I said, it's on the back burner for a long while. My kid's health and well-being take priority over all else. My dad's health is on a steady decline. He's now in the hospital with no release date in the immediate future. Please send over thoughts and well wishes his way. My

My kids are adjusting well. We have a therapy appointment for them scheduled next week to help. My oldest has more questions than the rest, but I'm trying to save any big conversations for the therapy appointment. So I know I'm conveying the answers in a meaningful and the least harmful way. Also, my oldest made tryouts for the traveling soccer league. Yay. And baby is doing great.

Fucking yeah, she's so pregnant. Things have calmed down a lot. Truly, I feel like I have a better grip on things. I've been putting most of my focus on my dad and kids to keep myself busy. Thank you all for the love and support and for checking in.

Oh, well, I'm glad she's still doing relatively well. Yeah. Also, I did mention colonoscopies at the beginning of this episode, but this is like my monthly reminder of like, get the colonoscopy, you guys, especially younger. Like if you're around 30 and you have stomach symptoms, blood in your stool, chronic diarrhea, bloating, there's a list of symptoms associated with colon cancer and stomach cancers.

And if you have any of those, get a colonoscopy. Like your health is not worth jeopardizing. And I did find out like my mom's husband died from colon cancer and they did one of the tests that you send in first and he got a false negative. So like the doctor literally said like if that test would have came back positive, he would probably still be here. Wow.

So just go for the colonoscopy. And like Lauren is doing one, my friend Lauren, and like it's $500. But I'm like, hey-

it's an investment in your health. Like if you get a colonoscopy, I literally broke it down. I'm like, if you get a colonoscopy, it's $500. Okay. You're good for 10 years if they don't find any polyps. And I did the math and I was like, I think it equivalated to like $5 every month is what your colonoscopy would cost you over the course of 10 years. Yeah. That's one coffee. Yeah. Like is one coffee a month worth your health and your life and not dying or going through painful chemo and radiation colonoscopies. Yeah.

do it. Okay. That is all I have for you. I feel very good. I feel like the beginning, a little chaotic, but we really, we came out the end. We rounded it out at the end. I felt it. Yeah. Yeah. I felt it. I feel great. We're having our meet cute in the thing that we wanted. We called it. I don't want to say we manifested that, but I feel like we did. I am going to

subscribe to her like username i will stalk this woman two years from now if this podcast is still rolling yeah hope it is fingers crossed i will be like you guys we have an update like she's very frequent with the updates so i'm gonna i'm gonna become friends those are my favorite um instagram hosts you're gonna like update on whatever story i love them i'm gonna ask her if we can become friends on instagram yeah

She's going to be like, no, you're a stalker. Oh my God. And I have a stalker story for my episode later today with my friend. Do you want a sneak peek? Sure. Stalker just popped into my head and I'm like, I have to share this one with you. You have a stalker or it's a stalker story? It's a stalker story. It's titled, I stalked my husband for two and a half years before we truly met.

I feel like I saw something on TikTok like that. Like a girl, like it was a, like they got married and then she admitted it. Is it that story? It probably is. Oh yeah. Can you imagine if your future partner is out there just watching your every move right now, planning for a way to like integrate in your life to meet you? Yeah. And you're not a public person, like a public figure, like kind of like how we are, like that makes sense that people would do that, but not a regular guy. We're like, well, I feel like we're pretty normal. You're like, you're more public facing than me.

No? Yeah. We're the same. Well, you're not single. That's why you think that. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like everyone is watching me in terms of like who I'm dating and stuff like that. Like, if you Google my name, then the suggestions, the second one is fiance. Hate that. Hey, stop doing that. Who's Googling that? Stop. You can get it removed. Just email Google. Oh, okay. Get it removed. Nothing's going to come up, guys. I've scrubbed it. So. I want to see a picture though. Now I'm curious. I will show you pictures. Okay, cool.

Okay. Where can people find you? My first name, Dacen Alfoala. First and last name on TikTok and Instagram is like my main thing right now. Yeah. And the podcast. This is my podcast. I thought this was really cute. Lucy did it. Oh, you did? It looks amazing. I love it. When I walked in, I was like, how cute. I know. I forgot to tell you. Yeah. If you're watching on YouTube, that's how you spell two idiot girls. And we post every Tuesday on

What's it called? We're launching a membership, a Patreon soon. That's going to have a bunch of stuff on it, which I'm really excited about. Yes. Because Morgan's been telling me to do it for the last year or so. Yes. Now we're finally doing it. Yeah. And I think we're going to go on tour again next year. I'll probably be back on here before then, but that's okay. For sure. To remind you all. For sure. But other than that, I think that's all I have going on right now, really. Amazing. Well, thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. I love coming. As soon as you ask me, I'm like, yeah, when? Yeah. Let's go. Days in Will be more of a regular. We've negotiated that. Woo.

So it'll be really good. I feel like monthly for sure. Bi-monthly. We'll be more regular now going forward. But I'm so happy to have you. I know. I hope you can come. Remember we were talking about I want to go to Europe for my 30th birthday. And we were talking about. Where? Paris? London? Yeah. Where do you want to go? Down. Over there. Iceland? Yeah.

Iceland's a little off the beaten path, but Iceland Air, if you fly with them, they'll give you a stopover in Iceland for the same price as what it costs to just fly to London. Oh, okay. So you can get a free trip out of Iceland. A couple of days. Yeah. Because my cousins are talking about how they have little Christmas villages because my birthday's in December. So I wanted to go around. This year? I want to go in December. Yeah. So I'll text you. Okay. And we'll vlog or some shit. Oh, fuck.

yeah I got a gimbal I got like a GoPro I got I got all the stuff we got a drone we can bring okay so obsessed say less I'm still single oh by the way just wanted to end with that thanks for having me guys bye guys until next time