cover of episode 31: Siblings.. You Can't Pick Em'

31: Siblings.. You Can't Pick Em'

Publish Date: 2021/9/2
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Are you ready? No, I'm not. I was born ready. No? You got this. We're not going to air all of our sibling drama on my podcast. Maybe a little. Not today. Not today. I'm a little nervous. This is going to... Don't judge me, people, after this episode. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. I'm Justin. I'm Matt. Today we are joined by my brother, Matt. We've had...

An interesting sibling relationship, to say the least. You hated me initially. I stole your thunder. Maybe. Maybe that could be true. I'm just speaking facts. We have quite the age gap. Matt's eight years older than me. So Matt was a firstborn. I'm technically a middle, but a little firstborn-y. So we had some drama. No. No, it was...

A nightmare. Yeah. Beyond drama. You only called me fat once. I never called you fat. That's pretty good. I never said that. Yes, you did. It haunts me. Here we go. It was at the duplex. I was standing right by the couch. And this is why I'm in the middle. Justin's got to break us up. That's right. He needs someone to separate us. Matt and I have always had a great relationship. From the moment we met, he was a bigger champion of me than you were.

Not true. He just told me not to mess it up, which I haven't so far. So we're good. I didn't use those words. I said, don't fuck it up. Yep. There we go. Our relationship is great today. Yeah. I mean, once you turned 18, the bars definitely helped. Alcohol, you know, just kind of... Smoothed the rift. Yeah. Mended those rifts. Yeah. We'll do it. So today's episode, we're diving into sibling stories. Yeah.

And you guys might be wondering why Justin's here, but as an only child, he might be able to lend another perspective that we need. Let's get it. Okay, let's dive in. All right, let's go. So I'm not sure how much I want to traumatize you right off the bat. All right. A lot. Scale of one to 10, how bad do you want it? I can take it. 20. 20. Okay, well, here we go.

Am I the asshole for walking out of my sister's birthday gathering after she announced her engagement? Me and my sister lost our mom since we were kids, and my dad married a single mom who had a son two years older than me. Our stepbrother was nasty, selfish, and used to take my things and ruin them under the guise of borrowing. He bullied me, especially because of how weak and thin I was. I was dealing with health problems. Still am.

He even got to my school friends and turned them against me by spreading lies and rumors. We were kids at the time, but I resented him and still do. I cut contact with him after I moved away for college, but kept in touch with my younger sister, 21. We maintained a great sisterly bond, and because of that, I'd visit regularly since she's still living with my dad.

Normally, my sister would tell me secrets, but no longer does. And I figured it's because of distance and me being busy with college. She used to tell me about her previous boyfriends, but not anymore. When I ask, she'd say she's on break. Two weeks ago, I returned home to attend her 21st birthday party that was held at my parents' house. I saw my stepbrother there, which made me feel uncomfortable. My sister was sitting next to him the entire time,

and was acting strange. Not like normal step-siblings, but I didn't put much attention to it. After she opened her gifts, she said she wanted to tell us something. She seemed very irritable and nervous. She talked about mom's death, stepmom's presence in our life, and the situations we'd gone through. Then she asked my stepbrother to join her, and he stood next to her and held her hand.

as she lifted her other hand, saying she and my stepbrother had gotten engaged. Oh my god. They're banging, for sure. It's Pornhub. Oh my god. Help, stepbro. I got stuck in the washer. Underneath the bed. Oh no.

I was dumbfounded, absolutely shocked. All I could hear was my stepmom and aunt yelling at them, calling them names. My sister defended herself, saying they were never siblings and they needed to stop yelling, but stepmom didn't care. I looked and saw my dad looking stunned. I calmly got up, took my bag, and walked out, immediately leaving them yelling at each other.

Two hours later, my sister called me crying, asking where I went and why I left when she needed my support and protection from that woman. She went on about how I should have defended her against the family, but I firmly told her it was none of my business and she needed to figure out her mess on her own.

She kept crying, saying I wasn't her true sister and she would have done a lot more if it was me. I told her I'd never think of getting together with my sister's bully, who is her stepbrother, much less, announce our engagement. I hung up and she didn't stop guilt texting me about how I'm making this about me and not considering what she really wants. She said I was being judgmental, just like everyone else. Haven't talked to her since then.

Am I the asshole? No. No. Come on. Let's get real, people. There's a lot of people on Reddit that marry their step-siblings. A lot. I mean, I want to know what age they were, like when this started to transpire. But, I don't know. When you grow up with somebody and you're in a family function, a unit, I just can't, I cannot wrap my brain around it. I know it's a very hot topic on the Hub, but

It's a fantasy for sure. Right? It's all over the place. Right. I just can't get there. Yeah. No. Not in real life. This might be a good way to transition, but I have another story that's really going to go down a rabbit hole, but we'll stick to this one for now. Yeah. I mean, I had a stepbrother and similar age gap. He was two or three years older than me, and it was never a question in my mind. I have a crush on him.

Never in reality. But why is it everywhere? I see it on... I mean, TikTok even makes fun of it all the time. It's such a fantasy, I think, for so many. I don't know. Huh. I don't know. Like, I get, like... You know, if somebody's... Attraction is attraction. Yeah. Like, Morgan, you're a good-looking girl, but I'm not attracted to you, right? But, like... You can objectively say, yeah, you're not ugly. I can say, like, people are going to find that person attractive, right? But if...

I don't know, somewhere along the lines when you get screwed up and you think that person's attractive, you're in that setting, right? And it's, well, gosh, we're not actually related. What if...

And then you start playing what if fantasies down your head. Like, what road are you going to go down? A sick one. But then it's like, if that does happen to you, you keep that shit a secret. To raise your hand up at a family thing and be like, we're engaged. On her birthday. Like, she's only 21. How do you get the other person to be like, you're right. This is a good idea. We should do this. Well, she's 21. He's two years older than her.

This is like a lot of math because OP never says their age. So sister's 21. OP doesn't say their age, but she's the older sister. So at least 22, maybe 23. Step bro, two years older than that. So 24, 25, 26. We don't know. So 21, 26, maybe five year age gap. When did this start?

How old was she? So he was grooming her. Potentially. There's the potential. But she did used to talk about her boyfriend and then stopped. So there were other dudes. True. And then she flipped. She flipped the switch. But okay, I see that happen. Maybe she got stuck in the washer.

It's a real thing. No, if I had seen that at some family thing and this happens, at first I would think it was a joke. Wouldn't we all think it's a joke? And then when you realize it's not, I would 100% leave. That's why she left. That's what I'm saying. I would be out.

Yeah, I think the stepmom flipping out, and I think that's very rational. But you guys, I've seen another Reddit story, very, very similar. Stepbrother came in. One of the sisters got married. And OP on that post was writing in. She's like, is this normal? And Reddit was like, you need to leave them alone. You need to let them love. They didn't grow up being raised as true siblings. They met later. And it's like,

But, like, they kind of are siblings. Yeah. Like, they only met because their parents got married. This is not Gossip Girl, where they dated first. But their parents had a... You know what I mean? Like... But does that change it? I don't know. I don't know. Like, I feel like step-sibling, step-sibling. Unless it's, like, that one story where the couple were dating, and then the parents went behind their back and got married first. Oh, my God, yes. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, I'm going to play devil's advocate. Let's go. Like, I think if you, as an adult, right? Like, if our mom, like, let's say the only person that's going to go out, mom goes out and finds a guy, somebody, and that person has kids, and let's say we were single, and they're of our age group, and we're out partying, and they're attractive. You make out accidentally at night? I don't know, you're just at the age where, like, you're no longer connecting with,

The sibling-ness, the relationship there is different. Yeah, you met because your parents met. Yeah. But at some age, that's got to change the dynamic a lot. I think if it's after 18. Yeah. But I think if you grow up under the same house, that's kind of goofy. It just feels so messy. It feels like when your friend has dated someone and they're kind of off limits going forward. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I agree with that. Like that's not a family thing or whatever. This feels like it kind of has that same boundary where it's just like, yo, there's so many people. This story is, there's a family thing there. They were raised together. Yeah. True. He's your bully? Okay, so he was making fun of you and calling you fat or whatever it may have been. Like it's a real thing at that point, right? Yeah. No, this is...

This is crazy. And like, there are some, you know, cultures and people that, you know, they marry their first cousins and have arranged marriages and things like that. But like, obviously this does not like fit that category. Like they are just random siblings that came together and wanted to get married. So neat. So a nice transition. These siblings are twins and not step siblings. Yeah.

Find the shit. Reddit, baby. Me, 25 female, and my brother, 25 male. He abandoned our family years ago, and I just found out it's because of unnatural feelings for me. Heartbroken, disgusted, lost. That's better than the last one, I guess. I mean, he got himself out of the situation, at least. He removed himself.

Here we go. The feeling's questionable.

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Visit Safeway.com for more details. My twin brother and I have been best friends since birth. We've been inseparable and even went to the same school. Had a great time. We had very happy and healthy childhoods. Parents who adored us and our entire childhood was a big blanket of love and fun and comfort and learning. I can't ask for anything more. As much as we are equals, he was protective, supportive, encouraging.

In high school, there was a chance that I might have had a serious kidney problem. And the first thing he asked our parents in tears was if he could donate a kidney to me and if that would help. That day, I remember feeling that this dude would be there for me no matter what I went through in my life. Right after college, instead of going to medical school two hours from our parents' house like he had planned, he dropped everything and moved overseas. He became successful there, met a girl, got married, and had a kid.

We used to talk almost every day, but he left and basically just dropped our relationship. He kept saying he's busy and that the time zone is off, but everything was bullshit. Our parents cried missing him, not because he was gone, but because he was emotionally unavailable to them. They got the occasional text or call. I barely get anything, maybe some random texts every month or so. I've spent the last few years...

getting over the fact that my brother basically cut me out of his life by ignoring me. He wasn't mean or anything. It's almost like he ghosted me without ghosting me.

I finally got so fed up this week that I texted him a long message absolutely chewing him out for being such an asshole. I dug in, called him the worst brother in the world and the shittiest son, and that there's no reason for him to abandon us emotionally. That if he wanted to move overseas and start a life and a family, I would have been truly happy for him and that I am happy for him. But what reason could there possibly be to create that kind of distance he did?

He dodged my questions and basically said, there's no reason until I started saying he's a liar and everything he's saying is bullshit. He turned on his disappearing messages and goes,

quote, look, you're my best friend and you didn't do anything wrong. And mom and dad did nothing wrong. You want the story. Here's the story. I realized in college that I was in love with you. I loved you in a way no brother should love his sister. I went to therapy. It did nothing. So I left. I was never, ever going to get over you if I stayed there.

If I shared this with you while I was there, it would have destroyed our relationship. So I left. I left and I started a family with a great girl and I'm happy. And I hope every day that you're happy. Every few months I ask myself if I'm ready to see you again or come home. And the answer is still no. I need to work on my shit and go to therapy. I'm sick. This is me being sick.

In my brain and in my heart, it is not your responsibility to fix it. It's not anything you did. You are still my sister and I love our family, but I need to get better first before I come home. I know I will get there and I'm just so sorry. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Now you know and I hope you understand that I left for me, for you, for mom and dad, and to allow us to have normal lives. I have a problem and I will get better. Miss you guys more than you know. I'm trusting you not to share this."

I'm absolutely disgusted, heartbroken, angry. I know I need to go to therapy myself, and I don't know what to do or how to even start dealing with this. He was such a central part of my life and my identity, and so much of my happiness is based in my happy childhood, and this fucks it up so much. I don't understand what to do. Wow. That's heavy. I put a heavy one down. Yeah. That's a little bit to take in. Yeah, just let it resonate a little bit. I mean...

Good on his part, like to move himself out of the situation. Uproot his whole entire life. Yeah. His whole life. And there's, I guess there's no real way to prevent feelings in a situation. But yes, it's not right, I guess. It's not the conventional way to meet someone. And he even says that he's sick. I mean, he went to therapy. I feel like he took all the steps he needed to. And it's hard because...

I feel like any of us would leave and kind of ghost, but instead of facing the fact that you kind of have to tell them, but that's also going to wreck it at the same time. I know. What's like the lesser of two evils? Which one is it? Right. It's interesting to me because like you hear about twin bonds.

And like how twins just have this like unrivaled bond, like they shared a womb, they come out feeding off each other and just like so bonded. And for me, I'm like, maybe that plays a part into it. But I'm also like, I just like want to get more in his head because I'm like, what if what you're feeling like is not unnatural, but like you just are like filled with these intrusive thoughts, like, you know what I mean? Where it's just like, maybe you're

digging yourself in too deep and overthinking this a little bit. Maybe because twins have more of a bond than typical siblings, maybe it's not so weird and like it could be more normal. I was just going to say like maybe he is confusing that bond and those feelings with like, okay, what am I supposed to be feeling? Like this is like,

Beyond any friendship that I've ever had with any dude or any other person, right? Yeah. Like, oh, is this love? Is this like I'm in love with you kind of deal? So when you talk about twins having this like inseparable bond, like is he just confusing that and why? And then my question would be is, well, why is he confusing it? To what extent? Again, what...

What rabbit hole are you running your brain down? What are you thinking about? What are you diving into? How many? Everyone has intrusive thoughts. I think, you know, we all have our varying degrees, but yeah, it's like, what rabbit hole is he going with this? And also like, I guess too, where he's still now that he's married and has a child, he's still not ready though, is the thing.

where he has this wife who he should love if this is his partner, but now he knows the love of loving a child, like his child. And he's still saying, I thought about it, but I'm not ready to see you because I still have these strong feelings. So it's like, is it that twin love or is he truly like in deep? I feel like it's more. I mean, he had the self-awareness to go to therapy and probably...

separate the two in his mind at least to go down like that thought experiment with a therapist probably to say here's probably what it's supposed to feel like here's what I feel like and then yes to have a kid and I'm also curious how similar the wife is to his sister oh my god I want pictures of both but it feels like he's very self-aware he's very there with it in making these choices on

really solid foundations. They're not just like, he didn't just go away. He didn't just think, oh, yep, this is all the way. He took the steps to see. It was a last resort. Moving and like, I mean, he sacrificed his dreams of going to med school nearby. He moved everything, shifted gears completely to kind of save them, save himself. So yeah, I mean, it wasn't a light decision. It definitely seems like it was last resort. Yeah.

I don't know, you can be in love with a lot of people and they don't have to reciprocate and that doesn't mean that you walk out. Across the planet. But if it leads you to a place where it prevents you from ever loving anyone else that kind of way, even in a wife and kid situation, you're always thinking, I mean, that becomes just...

I mean, it'd be relentless almost. You need constant comparison. Too tempting. Yeah. Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah. So this post is gone and I screenshotted it very early, but I do have a couple of the comments. I think your twin brother did the right decision to leave. It must've been hard for him. He was right about the fact that he needed to change and seek help. I feel sorry for him too. I hope that someday you two can reconnect like old times with no mixed feelings. I wish you both all the best.

I'd like to... I don't think you necessarily need to scrap your whole childhood. Like, these feelings, like, just maybe ask him when they developed, and then you can happily look back on it from that time. I wonder if he even can. It's so intermixed? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, I just, like...

You just don't want to let it affect you. I guess why would it affect the childhood stages, right? I mean, unless you're thinking, well, why did he do that? But, I mean...

I don't know. I guess, in my opinion, those events and those things still happened at a young age. It shouldn't detract from the type of person he is. He obviously does care about her. He's a good person. He just has some fucked up feelings. It's a little intermixed there. Yeah. I don't think it has to sell your whole childhood short. I think just appreciate it for what it was. I don't know. He came to a conclusion that his thoughts were not good and

But enjoy it for what it was at face value, I guess. Another comment. Not much advice to give here. It's just an unpleasant thing that is happening and life is suffering. There's really nothing to do but cry and see a therapist, try to process. Your brother sounds like a very intelligent, self-aware person who has done everything in his power to do right by you. It's sad, but it's not something you can do anything about. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Therapy. I know I feel bad for laughing at the beginning now.

But it's okay. We didn't know. We didn't know what we were getting into. Yeah. Okay, let's get away from the heavy. That's a good one. How are you hanging down there? We're good. Just getting warmed up. You've not traumatized me yet. That was a softball. A softball? Yeah. Not a curveball? Okay, here we go. I'm uncomfortable with helping impregnate my 34-male baby.

Sister, 34 female, and need advice. Seems about right. This is a little complicated, but I'll try to explain as best as possible. My 34 male twin sister, 34 female, Lila, has been in a wonderful relationship with her wife, 36 female, Effie, for about eight years.

Shortly after they got married, they both very much wanted to start a family. After discussing their options, they came to a decision that a great way for them to conceive a child that's biologically both of theirs would be through IVF. Using my sperm and Effie's egg with Effie carrying the baby. Oh, okay.

I was completely okay with that and more than happy to help them out. My own wife and I don't have or want kids personally, so there wasn't any subsidiary family drama to consider there. And with Lila being my twin, it just made sense. They literally could not get any closer to a traditional pregnancy as a couple. It was a success, and Lila and Effie now have a beautiful three-year-old daughter who, unsurprisingly, looks exactly like Lila.

who's his twin. Everyone is thrilled about her. A few months ago, they decided they were ready to expand their family. They'd wanted two kids from the beginning, and they'd like the siblings to be fully biological. So, Lila contacted me about donating sperm again, and of course, I agreed. Your face. I cannot handle your face. Oh my gosh. That is, until...

I found out that Effie can no longer safely carry a baby to term. Apparently, they've known about this encountering complications during the first pregnancy. So instead, my sister would be the one carrying the baby, a baby that's technically mine. I immediately told her no. I am not comfortable with that. I understand that her DNA would not be mixing with mine in any way, but something about it still seems really off to me.

Yeah. Technically, a doctor would put it in, but... Yeah, turkey baster. Yeah.

Lila is extremely upset saying that I'm being selfish and close-minded and juvenile. Told me that I'm ruining what would be their perfect family and robbing their daughter of a full-blood sibling.

There's absolutely no way they can afford the compensation fees and other costs of a gestational carrier. Plus, they're now attached to the idea of them each having carried one sibling. So, the only other option would be using a different sperm donor. In a way, I can absolutely see her side of things. I realize that a sort of

am being juvenile. The only thing standing in the way of their dreams is that I just can't shake the eerie incest vibes, even though I'm fully aware that in reality, there's nothing incestuous about this. Is it a selfish move that I can't just put my feelings aside and let them complete their family? For me, it's simply an uncomfortable thought, but for them, it's a decision that affects their whole family and future. Just need some advice, I guess.

It's fucked up that he did it in the first place. He doesn't owe him anything. I don't think he owes them anything, but I look at myself in this situation, and I was struggling with fertility issues. I would want my baby to be related, and if my sister was willing to donate an egg, I see where they're coming from. I mean, it is clever. I haven't heard of it before. It's very clever. Very clever. The only thing that weirds me out about this...

It's almost like the eugenics type vibe I'm getting. Like, we want siblings that are full blood related. Yeah. Like, there are other ways to have a child. Sperm donor, adoption. I think they're all equally valuable. But I get she wants what she wants. Well, I don't think he's being selfish because at this point, he already did it once.

And there's no, there's no, again, he doesn't owe them to do it again. It's sure. This is their ideal of a perfect family and whatever that that's not his problem. No. And so it's like for them then to put this over his head and just be like, I don't know. No, I agree with you that it's, it's very weird. It's weird. But does it make a difference that he agreed? He didn't know the first time around.

They were like hiding it from him, right? It's still her. He was on board. Well, he was on board until he knew it was his sister. Oh, yeah. Because he didn't know right away. Only to carry it, right? Like do the bodily functions. But it's still Effie's egg, right? Yeah, it's still the sister's wife's egg. Because that wouldn't work otherwise. That baby would have a lot of genetic issues. Yes. Twins having babies? I don't even want to know the DNA mutations. Yeah.

I don't know. There's got to be a screw loose one to be like, you know what, Morgan? I'll help you and your partner out. I'm going to donate some sperm for y'all. Y'all can have my kid. It's a little out there. I just can't go there. I don't... Yeah. I mean, but like they're twins. Again, twin bond, you guys. It's different. There's something about a twin bond. Listeners out there, go to the YouTube on this one and...

Let us know if you're a twin and about your bond because I think there is something a little different about a twin bond. And like they shared a womb, they're siblings. She is a, you know, a lesbian in this relationship. So it's like, what's the closest way to have your own child with your lesbian lover? You want your brother's sperm. Oh my God. You can go out and find any dude's sperm. I'm sure...

There's people that would donate it for you. So one of the top comments on this, I was just wondering, does your sister's wife not have any viable male family members that could be donors? Maybe this is not what they fully want, but maybe an option, which is true. Could be one of the sister's eggs and then maybe one of the wife's siblings. Yeah. Full-blooded technically, right? Yeah. Little different pun at Square, but still.

That's one way to go about it. Yeah. They could just find a really nice friend. Yeah. I know you hear about all the interesting insemination tactics. And like, I literally saw one story on Reddit where it was like, my friends are a lesbian couple and they went out one night and agreed to have sex with two random strangers to try to get pregnant.

It was Lydia's story on Reddit. It was like... There's something very irresponsible about that. Yeah. I think then if you're the kid, because the brother then is technically your dad, without the father's responsibilities, right? Yeah. And so you grow up, you're not going to... I mean, I don't think you're going to be shielded from the fact that that's your biological father. Uncle or dad? And so then you're like, okay, so... Uncle, dad. Well...

I don't know. It just... It's my dunkle. That's my dunkle over there. It just seems very interesting. I get all of the sides. I get all of the points and the thinking behind it. But then as the kid, you're just kind of... Very understanding wife. For real. I'm impressed by the wife just being like, yeah, go for it. Chuck that semen out there. Mm-hmm.

You come in that cup, baby. Ridiculous. Okay. You gotta stop. Okay. Someone replies to that comment I read, and they go, this is a really good suggestion. His sister's egg and one of Effie's relatives' sperm would make them full-blood relatives. They'd be biological cousins, not siblings, though. So, as I said, full-blood relatives. People are fighting in the comments on this one. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. Yeah.

One comment that I really like is from this individual, and they go, your sister is not entitled to your sperm. Thank you. It's his body, his choice. His body, his choice. That's how it should be. Everyone deserves bodily autonomy. Right. And yes, there's no legally should get whatever. But then they're going to now, she's going to present this

Oh, you didn't do it for us. You let us down thing. And then that's going to go on forever if he doesn't do it. So yes, she, he doesn't technically owe her that, but then it's just going to be like this thing going forward now too. So it sucks, but I still, I honestly, I think it's a weird, like it's weird in the beginning, but in my head I'm like, dude, you've already done it once. You're okay with doing it once. Yeah.

Your sister's not like, it's not like you're hooking up with your sister. Like it's getting implanted. Like for me, I'm honestly like, I'm kind of on board with this. I think it's weird, but they've already gone down the rabbit hole once. Like I'm okay with this.

I don't know. Maybe I've had too many sliders. I have no way to possibly relate at all. So I don't even truly know how I feel. Let's go. But it's his choice to do what he wants, obviously. Obviously his choice. In some part of his mind, he's perceiving that as his child, right? Subconsciously. I'm going to tell you right now, there's no way in hell that I would...

Let somebody take my sperm and impregnate you. What if? This is fucking bananas. This is bananas. It is bananas. But he already did it once. But it was somebody else grew that human. But they can't afford a surrogate. Did whatever. No.

You know what? There's other ways. There's other ways to go about it. I'm sorry. I like you, Justin, but if you can't get the job done, I'm not stepping in. No, but that would be incest. I hope you have a really good buddy. There's no incest here. That would be incest. But this is not incest. It has no genetic material with the sister. Morgan would be unable as well for this situation to be a thing.

Isn't it a brother? And her wife's egg. Wife's egg. But in the system. So if you had a friend... No, I still wouldn't do it. I get what you're saying. If a friend had an egg... If I was a lesbian... Morgan's still pushing out the kid that you are a part of. I'm a lesbian. My girlfriend's egg. Your sperm because you're my brother. Because I want it to be genetically mine. But then my wife cannot have the baby so I carry...

technically our baby yeah yeah i'm okay with this i think he did it once suck it up your your your child is still technically like it's not your child but your sister's kid is still genetically yours so you did it once suck it up just don't see your sister for nine months solution problem solved nope next next next how's it feel over there on that island

I know. I typically like, I think people are going to resonate with me on this one. I think people are going to be like, yes, Morgan, he should suck it up. Amy's. Yeah. Yeah. He did it once. Like, he did it once. It's different. Not weird. No. Yeah. No. Okay. Here we go.

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The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. My 28 male wife, 28 female, sends pictures slash videos of our bedroom activities to her sister, 31 female. A throwaway account for obvious reasons. Me and my wife have been together for 11 years, married for four, and have two children.

We have the usual fight now and then, but overall, we try and maintain a healthy relationship. Her sister has been married for about 12 years with two children. She lives in a different town, and we all get along fine. About a month ago, I noticed my wife taking pictures and videos now and then of us in our private time. I didn't pay much attention to this, as she says she likes looking at these pictures and videos when I travel for work, which is in IT.

Yesterday, I was setting up backups for our photos, videos, etc. of our phones and PCs when I noticed there were duplications of the pictures and videos she took. After checking out why, I realized that the pictures and videos were shared on WhatsApp. When sending media, the original picture and video will stay in your gallery and WhatsApp makes a copy and stores it in the images sent.

Tracking this back, I found out these were all shared with her sister. My wife and her sister are very close, and looking at the messages, it seems her sister's sex life had become very stale, and she reached out to my wife for support on how to spice up their sex life. After back and forth communication over a few days, her sister wanted to see how my wife does these sexual actions.

My wife initially declined, but after a lot of begging, she relented. Her sister now uses the pictures and videos as masturbation material. Yep. Knew that. I did not expect this. Oh, yeah. This cannot go on YouTube.

Yeah. Yes, it can. I have never, ever been in a situation like this and have no idea what to do. Should I even bring this up or sweep it under the rug? Me and my wife do communicate pretty good, but I don't even know how to start this conversation. My wife hasn't sent anything to her sister for about two weeks, and she messaged her sister to say she will not send more.

I wonder why. But her sister's still jerking it to you. Literally. Oh, my God. You would be so pissed. You'd flip. Yeah. That's like Matt and Amy having home tapes and sending them to Taylor because Taylor needs tips. And Taylor's like, oh, yeah, here we go. This is my kind of content. You guys, my brother's wife is sitting behind the camera, and her face is appalled. She's terrified.

Let's go. What do you got? No, I won. Holy cow. Disrespectful. So disrespectful. Like there's some, oof, that's rough. Boundaries were crossed. Boundaries were crossed. I would for sure be bringing it up with my wife. I'd be like, what in the world? The only thing that I can come to the conclusion on is that

He kind of likes that it was sent to his sister-in-law. I don't think so. If he's not going to bring it up. Well, why is he considering like, oh, I could just sweep it under the rug maybe. I think he's just embarrassed. And I think he's maybe reassured by the fact that she said she won't send more. He's probably at this point where like, she's not going to send more. So why even bring it up? Like it's out there. She's done now. So why embarrass her and like potentially damage our relationship? But where else does that distrust lead?

I don't know. I think when things happen... The damage has been done. Yeah, but I think... Yeah, but it was all behind his back. It's... You... No, you need to confront it. It's going to lead to some weird family holidays and gatherings. Yeah. I wonder if the sister's husband knows. Probably not. If they watch it together. I... Well...

No, the sister is, you know, getting up. Do you think it's just the sister? Like she wasn't like, hey, let's watch my sister and her husband. Let's try this move. How like embarrassed would you be or like insecure if you found out that your wife was watching your brother-in-law

Have sex. And getting off to it. Getting off to it. Oh, yeah. Hey, I'm going to get off to this because you're not good in bed because I need some tips to spice it up. These are really good. So I'm going to get off and have my self-time. She didn't want to see how the sister does it. She just wanted to see the sister do it. Because you can go find videos of probably any of the

actions they were taking you can go find it you could find examples online that's what i don't get like send some links why like why did you ever ever agree to send the videos because like not only is your sister seeing you one weird but then like she's viewing your husband and seeing your husband i i would not like what this comes down to the respect aspect right like you don't have you don't

Not only do you not have respect for that person, you don't have respect for that relationship. Yeah. Yeah. So where can that lead? Like, that's why you need to confront it. And it would suck. It would suck to have an absolutely perfect relationship. And then you find this and then you're like, well, do I stir the, like, do I mix this all up and cause this rift when everything could be fine? But then you're also thinking like, if you don't confront it,

it could get worse with other completely different things. Yeah. Just because she's comfortable going behind your back in some certain way. It's a shitty situation. I definitely do think he needs to bring it up. Just be like, hey, you know what? I was backing up our phones. I saw duplicates. I really don't appreciate you sending your sister our sex tapes. Yeah, he wasn't even going through her stuff. Like, it wasn't like he was looking through her phone. No, it was like a happy, or not a happy accident, but like an accident. Bring it up.

You have to. Don't sweep it under the rug. I, yeah, it's again, siblings, man. Nope. Nope. Aren't you kind of glad you're an only child now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is nice. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah. Bring it up. It'll, it'll, it'll be okay. I don't think this is like a big detriment to their relationship unless the videos are going elsewhere. Do you have anything else to add?

No, I mean, I don't see why it would matter if you're an only child because as a sibling, I've not one time. Jesus, this is weird. I know it's not only the sister, but I feel like the attractions for maybe your husband. I don't know. I don't know. That's a good point. Top comment on this one. The fuck? Yeah. Yeah.

I did not. I really did not read this one. I read the title, so I'm a little scarred, to be honest. Yeah, as you should be. So, up next...

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The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. My older sister, 35, is billing me, 25, for staying at her place during the pandemic. We're back to the usual sibling drama, you guys. This is good. So I recently just moved out of my sister's house. She has a five-bedroom, three-bath home and one spare office that I was staying in.

It's been exactly one year since I moved in, last June during the height of COVID. I had lost my job, and I was either moving in with my parents or my sister.

She has kids of her own and a husband that works at NASA, so he makes like $200K a year. He's basically the breadwinner, and him and I got along pretty well during my stay there. He acted like an older brother slash dad to me, which was nice. I did sense a hint of jealousy from my sister, though, because when I was babysitting her kids, he would often compliment how the kids cry less when I'm around them versus their actual mother.

I think this made her feel inadequate. I don't know. But he never mentioned anything else. Well, the day I moved out, I'd finally saved up enough to get my own apartment, but no furniture yet. So my brother-in-law offered me some of the items in his spare bedroom, the one I was staying in, and said that if I needed the bed slash desk to start off with, I can have that.

I was very happy to not have to spend extra money on furniture and stuff, so I said yes. My sister, I think, had a mental breakdown over this because I heard her screaming to him in their bedroom. Quote, all caps, you gave her all the furniture in the bedroom? Do you know how expensive that set was? And from then on, she started listing all these things that I owe her for.

everything from gas, water, soap, etc. It's a bit ridiculous, but I really don't mind paying her in small installments over time, since I have a job now. During my stay at her house, she never once mentioned anything about finances, but all of a sudden, a flip happened. She also demands it all up front. I told her, I don't even have a lot of cash to buy a bed. How can I pay her back thousands of dollars?

She threatened to call my parents and have them stop payments on my car. They got me a brand new car as a gift and will require my payments to use that payment to pay her instead. So in essence, I'll be without a car and without a car, I won't be able to commute to work. Anyway, I'm not sure if I should bring this up to my brother-in-law. I don't know if he is even aware of the whole ordeal because if he knew my own sister was charging me for sheltering me in times of distress, he'd look at their marriage differently.

He treated me like his own sibling more than she did, and I don't know if I should talk to him about my situation first. Like, I literally have no way to pay her all up front. She needs to go straight to the sister. Like, forget about the brother-in-law. Don't get involved. He doesn't need to be involved. That's more drama. You just need to call it out and be an adult about it and be like, hey, what is actually going on? Because the way that this lady is describing it,

is she's already setting the undertone that, hey, maybe there's something else going on here. Or my sister at least thinks there's something else going on here. So let's call it out and be an adult about it. Yeah, I agree. I don't think you should get the husband involved. That's going to fuel the fire even more with your sister being resentful, potentially jealous, whatever feelings she is dealing with. I feel like that's kind of a recipe for disaster in her life.

having more ammo. Yeah, and he's been amazing. I mean, it's not even his sibling. No, it's very, very generous. I think the comment, though, about the kids was like a little aggressive. But I can also see that. I can also see that as a guy, how you just kind of make these... I don't know. Sometimes I feel like these comments where you don't really think through the full ramifications that someone could actually see it as hurtful. And so...

it doesn't seem like a malicious directed comment. It just kind of seems like an observation. Off the handle. Like, oh, this is awesome. The kids are crying less. Like, just not thought. He's not thinking through like, oh, she's so much better than my wife. But that's how we women take it. I know. But I think that from everything I'm hearing about this guy and this story, it doesn't seem like any of that's a thought in his mind. It's just making a simple observation. Yeah. Yeah.

Or he really dislikes his wife. That too. I'm going to lean towards your take. I feel like that would be something that I would say not even thinking about what Amy would think. Yeah. Andrea, oh my gosh, you need to come over more because you know what? The kids, when you're around... They're calm. They slept. They slept tonight. Oh my gosh. It's been great. Come back more. Yeah. I know. I just think like...

I think the sister's, you know, dealing with some stuff. Maybe her marriage is not what she wants it to be. And having anyone that's like a guest, like her sister was a guest, this was probably not super enjoyable for her. Like having guests is hard. So I think maybe their relationship could have been struggling already and this kind of like heightened things for her. Yep. Put more cracks in it and now she's like,

This is like the straw that broke the camel's back for the sister. Right. Because it was never really a money thing. Not if he's working for an asshole. Well, no, I'm not. They got a five bedroom house. No, I'm saying for, right, but. They got the room. Right. I think it's super petty. Yes. Like, come on. She's lashing out for something. Yes. There's a reason behind all this. So yeah, like you said, Matt, like.

Be the adult and just sit her down and be like, you know what? I'm really sorry. I stepped on your toes and I've upset you in some way. What can I do to remedy this situation? I'd like to pay you back, maybe in installments, but just sit down, have the conversation. Get to the bottom of why she's even upset in the first place. Right, yeah. Yeah, definitely. So top comment on this one. This one flew really under the radar too, by the way. Like only 75 upvotes, 127 comments. Like,

Very under the radar.

Wow, I didn't realize it was a year. It's something I could never tolerate. So express gratitude for that, but definitely don't take the furniture that they did not talk about first and which your sister wants to keep. She'll likely drop the demand for payment that he instigated by giving away furniture that he didn't even bother to pick out. So true. Yeah, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Yeah. Having a guest for a year, I didn't realize it was a year. Well, it probably is. Nice shit.

Yeah. You don't even know how much that set was. But here's the thing. It wasn't even brought to her face. She overheard it. So the other sister at the same rate is, I don't know, being a catty bitch. Like, come on. If you really have a problem with giving the furniture away, you just need to say, hey, Morgan, I'm sorry. Like, he misspoke.

And that actually cost a lot of money. But you know what? I'll buy you a $125 mattress from Walmart that comes in a mattress in a bag and it just, you open it up and there it is. I've literally bought a $200 bed off Amazon and it was one of the most comfortable beds I've ever had. Like, you can get nice stuff. But yeah, I think she's probably upset about the fact that her partner didn't even consult her. And it's like,

Did I have any say in this? You took this out from under me, which, yeah, she... Just guessing, like, based off, like, the fact that he's basically the breadwinner, like, maybe a stay-at-home mom. Maybe the one kind of running the entire house. And then to have something that you bought and you picked out specifically, spent a lot of money on, like, kind of ripped out from under you without any say or consideration, like...

You're going to go to war for that bed set. Yeah, and it feels like there was this rift kind of building this entire year and this jealousy that was building. Especially with the comments. And I think we just heard the highlights of it. And I'm sure there were instances where it's like little things here and there all the way through a year where you just hit your breaking point when it's like, oh yeah, and you can take the shit.

Having somebody like a roommate for that long, like in a family unit is a stress on that relationship. So there was for sure some marital issues going on. I guess my other question would be then is if this person is staying with you for a year, like, are you not having conversations with like that person? Like how long is this going to be? Are you here for three months? Are we here for six months? All right. Hey, it's nine months. Like,

You need to get your shit together and like figure out what you're going to do. Yeah. I mean, she probably acquired a job, slowly built up her money because then at the end she said, I'm finally able to have enough to get my own place. Right. But I just can't put anything in it. And so then on the husband's mind though too, it's like, okay, well if this is what it takes to get you out,

Here you go. True. Even though they could have just purchased stuff, but it seems like another one of those thoughts in his mind that was just so spur of the moment. Didn't really think it through. And him being nice. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, though. From a sibling standpoint, I think the wife is kind of in the wrong here at the end of the day. Like... Oh, I was just going to say that.

I don't know. I'd help you out, Morgan, if you needed a place to stay. I wouldn't charge you to come and stay in my house. No. Especially if I had a spare bedroom. Yeah. Or a few of them. A few of them, right. And they have the space, but I understand people also overstaying their welcome. Yeah.

And you want your space back with your husband and your kids and you don't want to feel like you're kind of a sister wife. Like, I get that. I don't know. The sister does comment back to the comment about just leaving it there.

And she goes,

The rest of the time, I'd be in my room job searching or studying extra material on stuff. I know that after a year, I'd have to leave. So once COVID lessened, I immediately went back to work. Well, she was doing her part. Yeah, it sounds like picking up and not being a bum in someone else's home. And just using them, yeah. Using them, picking up the slack a little bit. Being grateful for having that. Exactly. Well, on to the next.

Let's go. So this one was posted pretty recently. Haven't read it. I'm going in blind, picking purely off the upvotes. Let's go. So here we go. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes, Gillette Razors,

Metamucil, Crest Toothpaste, Secret Body Spray, and a Swiffer Power Mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Am I the asshole for calling my fiance's sister an idiot for her rude comments about the number of siblings I have?

To start, I have eight other siblings, nine of us in total. Two of my brothers are biological and the rest are foster siblings, but we're all very close. To me, they're my real family, so I don't really introduce them as anything other than my sisters and brothers. I'm getting married in a few months and all my brothers are going to be groomsmen, while sisters were asked by my fiance to be her bridesmaids. My fiance's sister, Kate...

is someone we don't talk to as much, but still her parents convinced her to let Kate be a part of the wedding. Recently, our families met up for a barbecue at our place, and this is the first time her family meets mine. Well, except her parents, since they couldn't make it. I introduced my siblings to everyone. Some point when we were talking to her sister, she says, your parents seriously had nine kids? She said it with so much disgust. She seemed really mad about it.

I told her yes, and Kate goes about how she thinks my parents were selfish and reckless for, quote, never figuring out how to use a condom. And, quote, don't they know how stupid they are for having so many kids when there's already overpopulation? Part of me found it funny, but also very annoyed for thinking that's something she even thought was okay to say about people she just met.

So I told her they were foster parents and only two of my brothers are biologically related. Not that it's any of her business to critique other people's lives. She looked embarrassed and apologized, but then she got mad. Kate says, well, that's something I could have mentioned. So to avoid her saying the wrong thing. And I told her, how about next time she just doesn't say anything at all and avoid looking like an idiot.

My fiancé laughed a little, but Kate got mad. She walked off and made a comment to my fiancé's other sister and cousin about what I said. They know the context, but still think I was an asshole because Kate was just bringing awareness to what she thought was something bad, and it wasn't necessary to call her names. She doesn't want to talk to me now, and while that doesn't bother me at all, I do wonder, was I an asshole for doing that? No. No. No. No. No.

She put her foot in her mouth, whatever the saying is. Yeah, and it's like even right then though when they're like, oh yeah, seven of them are foster. And then she got mad? Yeah, because then she probably felt like, oh okay, now I just made a huge fool of myself. And then you go in deeper and you just like dig yourself a bigger hole. I don't know. Probably should have been something you told me. Why? Why would that even come up? They don't even talk really. Yeah.

They were convinced to have her there. Yeah. And it's the first time they've met. Who says this to someone the first time they meet them? You're supposed to be winning them over. You're supposed to be on your best behavior and nice. A Karen. A Karen says that. A Karen, yeah. Are we sure it's not Karen? It's Kate?

I cannot imagine ever having the audacity to criticize someone's family. And then be so wrong, too, at the same time. Yeah. I think, yeah, it's just baffling to me. And I think, like, this is something where we can relate. Like, me and Matt are half siblings. We are not full-blooded siblings, but I would never, ever, like, introduce Matt as, like, oh, yeah, like...

This is my half-sibling, Matt. Right. We actually, like, we're not truly related. Like, we are. We have the same mom, but different dads. So, like, we're not full-blood siblings. Like, no. Like, we grew up together. Even, like, kind of having different, like, our family's kind of wild. But, like, we grew up together. We have the same mom. Like, we've always been raised as siblings. And I would never consider him anything less. And that's what this person is, their thoughts are. Like...

Yes. Their siblings are foster siblings, but they're not. They're family. Yes. They're siblings. So to then her be like, well, you should have told me that, as it almost lessens it or discredits it. Well, and kudos to these parents for taking on this many foster kids too. For sure. Yeah. That's incredible. Yeah, that is. And raising them all as a family unit. They're crazy, but good for them. Yeah.

Nine kids is a lot, you guys. Yeah. Holy moly. How are you doing with two? We're doing great. Kids are great. I love them. Very tired, though. Yeah. A lot. Your kids don't really sleep. They're trying at times. Let's put it that way. We will not be having a third. Let's put it that way. But they're great. And we're great. Say it a couple more times so we really know. They're great and we're great. Trust me.

Yeah, so top comment on this one. And they quote like what Opie said. They go, Kate was just bringing awareness to what she thought was something bad. And they go, who asked her? Your parents don't need her permission. Also, if they were biological, what are you supposed to do? Shove them all back up your mother? Yeah. Get back in there, Linda. Kate says you don't deserve to be alive.

I mean, that is what it is. It's like you're questioning why all these people are here. Yeah. And just how crazy and sensitive and just mean that is. I agree. The thing about it is that it could have been just a joke. Like, holy cow, your parents had nine kids. Your mother's poor vagina. They need to learn how to use a condom, my lord. It could have been funny. John and Kate plus eight? The doggers? Right.

You gave the Duggars a run for their money. No, but it was... But she took it. What was in the tone she said it in? Yeah, exactly. She meant it in all seriousness. Yeah, right. All seriousness. And that's, yeah, that's the problem. Yeah, OP commented back to that and goes, I dash and just crying emojis. Dead. Thank you. I needed a good laugh.

And someone replies back and goes, also, weren't you also just bringing attention to something you thought was bad, judging people and disparaging them before having all the details? Why is that any different? Yep. Yep. Yeah. I think like when people are rude like this, I think like, yeah, okay, you can have some tact and like you don't need to stoop to their level. But like, I don't think he necessarily did. I think he was very just like,

You're an idiot. Maybe you should think before you speak. I don't think... Yeah, I think we would have all responded in the same way too. It doesn't make you an asshole to reply to someone that's a super asshole in this way. Yes, you could be the bigger, the truly bigger person and be totally non-human and just be like, yeah, we had a lot of kids or the parents had us too and then the seven fosters and that's how our family is. But

How hard would that be? Yeah. I don't think you're an asshole for responding the way you did. No, I really like it. I appreciate it. Sometimes you got to bite back. Yeah. Sometimes you got to just chomp at them. Yep. There's another comment that goes, as someone who is one of nine full biological sibling, who's to say the parents didn't use forms of birth control that failed? It's not the sister-in-law's business either way.

And someone comments back, I was just going to make the birth control comment. I have a friend that accidentally got pregnant her senior year of college. She was with her high school sweetheart and they planned to wed right after college anyways. But fast forward 10 years. Despite their best efforts, vasectomy, tubes tied, depo, etc., etc., they managed to still have four more pregnancies. The math would leave you to believe that

That's wild. That's a lot of kids. Well, even after all of those steps? A vasectomy? Tubal? Tuptide? Like, what? How? How?

I just would not have sex at that point. Literally how? It'd be hand jobs, blow jobs, strictly. I mean, God. It's a lot of happy tears. You go through all those procedures and you still have to pull out every time? Like, come on. Is that why you go through all that? So you don't have to worry anymore? You can just go for it? Yeah. That's it? Yeah. That's the dream. Yeah, I mean. And then you're like, oh, I'm pregnant. Somehow. Somehow.

Well, it was meant to be if all that happened and you're still pregnant. Just a blessing. Eight blessings. I'm just shocked that it still can happen. Yeah. Oh, and the comments after this go on and on. Yep. Got a family friend who is the eldest of five. Her and then twins. Then her dad got a vasectomy. And then two years later, mom was preggo again with another set of twins. They were the dad's.

Oh my God. This person even goes in detail. They were dads. Not everybody and their brother didn't accuse her of cheating, except dad. So he gets the good guy award. Dad's sperm count? Eight. Yep, eight. Where anything under 15 million per milliliters is considered low, anything under 1 million is considered infertile. Dad got mom pregnant with a count of eight. What a champ. Wrap it up, guys. If you don't want a kid, wrap it up.

Just, oh, wow. Wow. If I'm going through the effort to get a vasectomy, I'm not putting a condom on. I am not wrapping it up. I would be so paranoid, though. Like, I'd want, like, regular sperm count checks. Like, let's make sure we're shooting blanks. I think it's, like, 23 times, and then your pipes are clean. We're going to have to fact check you. Where'd you figure that out? I have a few friends. 23? That's how many times...

They need to, you know, go before they go back in for their count. Let's see. Let's do it. Wow. You're really good. How many did you say? I said 23. It usually takes about 15 to 20 ejaculations after the operation before you flush out any remaining sperm from each vas difference. You should use an alternative method of contraception during this time. I would just, yeah, no, just don't even risk it, people. No, no.

Find a towel or a cup or a sock or whatever you got to do. On that note, siblings. Oh, that's it? Yeah. Ugh. We didn't even get into the sibling rivalry. I know you were trying to vicariously live through us just now, like not having a sibling. You wanted your fill of drama. I have four step-siblings.

Oh, you do now. But you didn't grow up with any siblings. I know. Well, I mean, my cousin Josie was basically my sister that I didn't have to live with. Yeah. So we had the perfect sibling relationship, basically, without... How perfect? Well, oh, God. I knew where you were going with that one. All right, we're going to stop here.

I'm okay being done now. Me and Morgan hated each other growing up. It wasn't good. We did not like each other. I liked you. I wanted to snowboard with you at Spearmountain, but you just didn't like me. You know, the age gap when you were a...

I'm 16, you're 6. I'm trying to pick up chicks and you're trying to hang out. It's just like you're kind of a nuisance. The gap shrinks as you get older. No, I was a good wing gal. All the girls wanted to be like, oh, this is your cute little sister. It's like having a puppy. I literally was a puppy, yeah. Puppies are a lot of work. And on that note, thanks for joining us on another episode of Too Hot Takes, you guys. Thanks for coming on, Matt.

You did pretty good. You crushed. Thanks for having me. I'll be back. Hopefully I didn't scare you too much. No, I'm ready for the real deal next time. These were soft. All right? Oh my God. Okay, well, yeah, let me know on the tube if this is too soft because I'm traumatized. But until next time, you guys. Until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye, guys. Bye, guys.

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