24: Dating & Relationships w/ Michaela Okland 01:27:37

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excited oh my god we're really doing it we're doing the damn thing this is long overdue I know it's been months in the making months in the making we've had messages come in really I've got I got it the day we recorded but then I also got like more tweets about it and like dms I got a lot of like oh my god so excited about this duo when I posted that I had you on the podcast people were so excited that's so cute yeah I got a bunch of messages after that too and I was like

I love her, so the feeling's mutual. And then literally you posted last night for the one million, and my friend was like, oh my God, how do you know her? I'm like, she's my new friend. I know. Well, you messaged me on TikTok, and it was right when I had kind of stopped using TikTok. So it took me a while to see it. And then I was like, oh my God, this girl's so funny. And then I followed you on Instagram for a while before you noticed, I think. Maybe. Yeah.

But then you commented on something of mine. I was like, oh my God, let me just go fucking fangirl over here. Yeah, because I think I've been following you for a while and you hadn't noticed or followed me back or something. But then I commented on something and then you were like, oh, hi. And I was like, let's do it. Yes, making new friends at 27 and 24. I've been making such good friends this year. You're like a pro at making new friends. I've been doing well lately. Well, you guys have probably recognized her voice by now, but I have a very special guest. Oh, yeah.

We're going for it. Is this for the, okay. It's coming full circle from earlier episodes. But I have a very special guest today, you guys. You may have recognized her voice, but I'm being joined by Mikayla Oakland. Yes, that's how it's pronounced. It's spelled weird. It's Mikayla Oakland. She rates dogs. Yes. If you've heard of it, not real dogs, it's men. Yes.

You guys, if you haven't checked out the Twitter account and the Instagram account for SheRatesDogs, please do. And for our male listeners, you know. Listen up. Take notes on what not to do from this account. But yeah, and then we have SheRatesDogs, a podcast, which Morgan came on a couple weeks ago.

A couple weeks ago. Something recently. It was such a good episode, you guys, so make sure you check that out as well. We went into your occupational therapy info in all of your binders. So very fun to see that side of you. I think it's really interesting to hear you talk about that stuff. I know. I like bury it down. And then I have like, again, there's listeners that come on. They're like, I'm an OT too. And I'm like,

That's so cute. Let's jump in. Today, we're going to be talking about dating and just relationship stories. Okay. I love that. Let's do it.

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I think you're a content expert on these things. I curate some of that stuff. You're going to thrive with these stories then. Absolutely thrive.

So the first one is a listener write-in. She goes,

We live in Australia and the country is back open for travel. So I was like, let's organize a little weekend away. He was all down for it. We went to the Hunter Valley, a winery region. I don't know what happened on that trip, but he has been depressed ever since. Doesn't laugh, doesn't smile, doesn't ever want to talk.

It's like something clicked in his head and he just changed. There was no leading up to this. He then starts mentioning his ex. Oh, okay. Now it's starting to make sense. We never really bring up our ex-partners. All I know is me and her are complete opposites. Taylor, she's blonde, 5'3", Australian, Elle Woods. Me, brunette, 6 feet, farm girl. 6 feet? Go off, queen. Racist dirt bites. Yeah, seriously. A little model. Yeah.

One night during sex, he called me Taylor. Wait, the ex's name? Yeah. Maybe a couple weeks after that, I was cooking dinner and he said, oh, Taylor would cut the bread this way. I kind of just ignored it because at this moment, he's in a really depressed state. He had made a few more comments saying- I would take that knife and- Fuck up the bread. Don't say that to your girlfriend when she's holding a knife. Sorry. Continue. Like, what? Dude, it's bread. Why does it matter? Mm-hmm.

He has made a few more comments saying, Taylor did this or like this over the next couple of two months. Three months ago in April 21, his dad passed away in a car accident, which sent him into just a spiral. It was the deepest part of his depression. I've never had a problem with this family. They're welcoming, always there if I need anything, very, very supportive. I'm there trying to support his mom because she just lost her husband by cooking meals, cleaning around the house.

She said, ''You've missed a spot on the floor over here.''

What the fuck? Why is she still putting up with this queen? No.

Will I be an asshole if I leave my depressed partner? No! Is she an asshole to compare me to one of his ex-partners? Yes. What the actual fuck?

And this is disturbing. This is very disturbing. And this started before like he was dealing with all of the family issues. So it's not like this is just something extreme happened in his life. And now he's reminiscing. The initial thing like started in January and he didn't lose his dad until April. Why is he so obsessed with his ex?

At first I was thinking maybe she got like engaged or something. So he was a little sad and like, whatever, you know, if someone from your past has like a huge life moment, maybe just kind of makes you reevaluate where you are and think about the life you could have had and whatever. But this seems like he just randomly wanted her back. Well, I'm like,

It seems that way. I think the shoe really fits with like maybe something popped up, like she got engaged or maybe she reached back out. Because otherwise, if this person, you know, they've been dating for, oh gosh, what did she say here? They've been dating for three years. Yeah.

What the actual... I do not think about my exes when I'm dating someone. Like, I'm sorry. I can understand accidentally saying the wrong name maybe one time if that was the only thing. Yeah. If that was all that he had done, it'd be like, okay, whatever. Yeah. But if his mom is saying these things, like, you know these people only get their information from...

like their child who's involved. So any opinion that she has is based on the way that he's talking to her. For sure. He's probably made some comments. Oh my gosh. Please dump him. And also like people's mental health is important, but you don't have to shoulder another person's mental health and be like, oh, now I have to compromise myself to fix this person because you would compromise yourself. You'd fix them and then they'd be good for someone else. So you don't need that.

just literally drop the mic like yes that's so so so important i don't like i think the name during sex is like oh i would lose my mind i would lose my shit i would kill them with a knife but but like if i'm talking to someone else i can pretend that i did that's maybe okay yeah and happens i'm gonna throw myself under the bus so fucking hard right now

So when I started dating my current boyfriend, we were like very new, very early on. I think it was like, honestly, maybe the first time we had sex. And I called him the wrong name. I called him one of my guy friends' names. Oh!

Are you still friends with that guy, friends? Yeah. He's like a brother to me, like truly like a brother, like nothing's ever happened. But we all had like gone to a concert earlier in the night. Like he was actually staying here in the room next door and me and Justin were hooking up and I accidentally said his name and he's like, he just like ignored it. Like he told me this next morning. I was like, what? No. Oh my God. And he's like, yeah. So I just have to ask like, is anything going on like there? And I'm like,

Absolutely not. Like, I'm sorry. I was just drunk. I must have been worried about him being in the other room and hearing something. Well, also, if you have, like, a reflexive pattern, like, I, when I would fight with my ex, there were times I almost called him Matt, who is my gay best friend. Yeah. And, like, obviously, there's no kind of sexual romantic thing between Matt and I. But, like, I fight with Matt. So sometimes when I'm just, like, caught up in that moment, I'll be like, oh, I'm used to saying this name when I'm, like, arguing. Yeah. So sometimes that happens, but...

I've not had that happen during sex. I think that's because I don't say names that often during sex. I don't either. Oh. It's kind of weird. So I don't even know what I was doing that night. It was... I don't blame you. Too much wine. But yeah. So I get it if it's early on or like new, but like... Three years in. Three years. He's probably been jacking off to her. Like, sorry, I hate to say it. I hate to say it. But if he's like...

Like going there during a sexual experience three years later. There's something going on there. We don't like this man. And props to you for like taking care of his family and putting so much effort into like being a rock for other people. But they're like chipping away at you as a rock. And that's the other thing too. Like the comment like,

Oh, my ex-girlfriend would look more presentable. Like this girl is going above and beyond cooking, cleaning. Like, yes, you guys went through a very traumatic thing that is horrendous, but she's, you know, going above and beyond to make sure that your family is taken care of and you're going to comment about something so horrible.

petty as appearance. Yeah, it's one thing if someone were to say, hey, like, something came up in my mind about my ex, I don't have any idea why, I'm just, like, a little bit confused over it. Yeah. As opposed to being, like, I'm gonna knock you down and, like, make you feel bad about yourself by saying, my ex cuts bread better. Like, what? It's the most irrelevant fucking thing, too. Bread. I cannot imagine. I would literally kill a man. And this woman sounds like a saint. Fuck.

Yes. Okay. If you're listening, not the asshole. Dump him, please. If you walk out. Yeah. You definitely deserve better. And I'm very sorry for his loss, but. Yeah. Sorry to that man. Oh, I thought you meant his loss of her, but both. Yeah. Sorry to his losses. Yes. Both. Poor guy. And like you deserve better. Yeah. Text Taylor. Maybe she'll come cook. I don't know. Yeah. Hit Taylor up. Send her over.

Up next, another listener write in, I think my boyfriend's brother has a crush on me. I, 18 female, have been living with my 19 male boyfriend and his family for six months now. I have a suspicion that his 20 male brother has a crush on me. Wait, how old is she again? 18. Okay.

My boyfriend works long hours and is in the U.S. National Guard as well, so there are times that I am home when my boyfriend is not. I've found that during these times, his brother seems to talk to me more often and hang around me more. My boyfriend is away right now with the military, working seven days, and some nights he sleeps over there. While the nights he has slept over, his brother comes into my room and tries talking to me for hours on end. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I don't want to be rude and tell him to leave me alone. I try to act annoyed or tired so he will leave, but it never seems to work. As I'm writing this now, I am with my boyfriend's family, with the exception of my boyfriend, in a car. The brother and I are in the back seat, and he reached over and tickled my thigh. He's done stuff like this before, teasing me, and it makes me super uncomfortable. I don't know how to say something to him or my boyfriend."

The brother has literally told me he wants a girlfriend who is like me. Am I being crazy or am I catching the wrong vibe? Okay, this is such a common experience, not in the sense of like someone's brother, but in the sense of like my boss is flirting with me, but it's like a tricky relationship because I don't want to like upset someone in this position. Like I don't want to upset my boss.

boyfriend's brother because I want the family to like me well they live she lives with them right so I don't want to like be presumptuous and like be so mean in turning him down that it's like oh I wasn't even going there but at the same time it's like you're getting these clear vibes yeah where you're like how do I make it clear without like you know what I mean with someone tickling you on the

I would punch reflex. I would like hit somebody in the face. Oh, the hand would get smacked away so fast. That's my least favorite part of the bachelorette. I'm like, she has to have so many men put their hand on her thigh. That poor woman. Yeah. I'm not a very like touchy feely person. Yeah. Like I am not about it. So like someone touching my thighs, like the exact opposite of what I want. Like, especially like this is his brother. Like it's so creepy and weird. Yeah. Has she talked to the boyfriend about it yet?

I feel like that is step one. Step one, yes. And I get questioning like, oh, am I overthinking this? Maybe he's just being friendly. Right.

But you don't even have to approach it like that. You can just be like, your brother is honestly just interacting with me too much. Like he's trying to talk to me for hours at night. I'm uncomfortable with that. I'm uncomfortable when he's touching me. Like she doesn't even have to say that she thinks it's from a place of him trying to get with her. She can just be like, this amount of intimacy is too much for me and I don't like it. Set a solid boundary for sure. I think it's totally fair, especially like touching you and coming in your room

I wouldn't want anybody to come talk to me for hours unless I truly care for them and it's like a friend or something. But why? No, this is a big, big no for me. I would address it like yesterday. She should also get a taser if he tickles her leg again. 100%. Well, and you just like get scared too. Like say he did something when the brother wasn't there because the brother's gone a lot. And then he's like, oh, she wanted it. Like he clearly has a lot of audacity.

Yeah. So... In the backseat of a car with their parents up front. Yeah, which is why I feel like talking to the boyfriend and establishing that this is kind of like a vibe she's getting now is important in case that were to be a future situation. Something does happen. Yeah. I don't know. That's...

Yeah. But that happens all the time like with bosses or with like work people or school people. It's like I don't want to jeopardize this like relationship by being so rude in the way I say no. Yeah. But men will like abuse that and like continue to find their little opening. It's like she has an outright like said, I never want to have anything to do with you sexually ever in my life. So like I can keep trying these little things. Yeah. I think as women like there's a lot more pressure sometimes.

when we do say no to like say it politely. Yeah. And like even this weekend we went out and Lauren, one of my friends, was talking to like this owner of this restaurant we went to and he got her number and like...

She texted him and was just like, thank you. You know, we had a great time last night. And he was like, oh, thanks. I'm glad you came. Would you like to get dinner with me? And she was like, I'm sorry. Like, I have a boyfriend. Right. And he's like, fuck you. It's always the I have a boyfriend. You could have just told me you weren't interested. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, popped off on her. And it's like, but she does have a boyfriend. Yeah. Like...

That's honestly a pickup artist thing to do is that they put things in a way where you can't say no. So like I was at Nordstrom Rack the other day and this guy approached me with his phone out and was like, are you seeing anybody? And I was like, no, thank you. Just quick. And he was like, okay, sorry. And why?

I was like, I'm not going to do this song and dance where it's like, no, I don't have a boyfriend, but that doesn't imply I'm interested in you. Yeah. I don't know. No, thank you. You got a good response there. Literally, a man approached me at a club one time and asked what my name was, and I said, no, thank you. Oh, my gosh. I love that. The confidence. Thank you. I'm just like a...

shy like introverted little person like when people come approach me I'm just like I just like don't know what to say and then I like end up giving them my number and then I don't text them back because I just like can't handle a confrontation so I need to try this I've done like the fake number before but the worst is when they'll like then be like I'm gonna call you right now it's like that will just

both of us why do that I've done that and then I like I would like give one number away or like I give them my little brother's number I did that a month ago

But it was our waiter. So I was like, be nice to your service workers, but I guess don't be too nice because they'll ask for your number and then you'll have to lie. Oh, no. Poor little friend. Yeah. You're not crazy, though. Talk to your boyfriend ASAP. I'd say that's step one for sure. ASAP, Rocky. Up next, this one. Oh, you look excited. This one gave me wild ideas. Okay. Okay.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo, and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. My 23 female boyfriend, 23 male, showed his mom our sex painting and I'm embarrassed. Sex painting? Learn something new today with this one. Okay.

His mother, 63 female, was talking about getting something framed. And he said, oh, I got something framed once. It's not cheap. His mom asked what it was and he sent the painting to his mom. Here's where it gets weird. His mom showed the painting to a random woman in her office. The woman was like, hmm, that looks like a sex painting. So my boyfriend never actually told his mom it was a sex painting. But he sent it to her and she figured it out.

Next thing you know, we meet his mom and some of her friends at a bar, and they were looking at our painting and discussing it. Oh, my God.

When I sat down, she started asking me all about it, getting all excited, saying I need to show her where I got it so her and her husband can try it too. Oh no! She then wanted me to go sit next to one of her coworkers and tell them about it as well. The whole time, I was extremely embarrassed and my boyfriend was trying to get his mother to shut up. I understand that he didn't explicitly tell his mom it was a sex painting, but he still sent it to her without making sure it was okay with me first. I

I feel a little betrayed because this was a private painting that was between us and we have it hanging in our bedroom. It wasn't really intended for all eyes, especially his mother and her coworkers. Yeah. When I asked him why he did it, he said, because she asked to see it and I didn't think she would show other people.

Is me being upset and embarrassed warranted or is it an overreaction? What can we slash I do to fix this? Any advice would be appreciated. Okay. Oh my God. First of all, I would love to have like a visual of what the sex painting looks like, but obviously she, what you do. Oh, well, like what some of them look like. Oh, okay. Because like if it's a, um,

almost a nude obviously you don't want other people to see that also i get weird vibes no shade to anyone who's like comfortable talking about their sex life with their parents i i mean that probably is healthy like one of my friends her mom is a gynecologist so obviously they've always been pretty open about that kind of thing but sometimes i'm like why do you talk about there's a line yeah there's a line um

I'm like very, very open about sexuality. Yeah. But like, like I'll talk about it with my mom, like me, my mom and my uncle who's gay. Like we sat down and talked about sex one day and like literally got so like deep into it to like talk about penis size. And like, that's like, okay, that's crossing a line for sure. But I also grew up with my dad who is just like the most inappropriate person, like his sexual jokes. So it's like, you're

You're going to talk about sex one way or another. I know, but like... Whether you like it or not. Would you show them like a painting of you and your boyfriend having sex? So this is what it is. So upon further research, sex painting is you buy like a blank canvas, like this website I'm on. Oh, okay. You can like buy a kit.

And so you put non-toxic paint all over your bodies. Okay. Have sex on the canvas. And then whatever you get left with is like what you're painting is. And then you frame it. Okay. So that's a bit different than I thought. I thought it was like someone painted a photo that was like a still shot from a sex tape. I have no idea. But that, I guess, is less. Yeah. That's less intrusive in my opinion. For sure. You guys, it literally looks like sex.

I don't know if you've seen the princess diaries and you see the painting of like them popping the balloon darts. It's just like paint all over. Like it's very abstract. There's not really anything to tell. I totally would be like a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed, but I think that's like just somewhere you would set a boundary. Some of them are so cool.

They are very cool. Yeah, I kind of want to do it. Yeah, I mean, you can never tell someone like, no, your boundary is weird. But like for something like that, I feel like all you have to do is say, hey, just so you know, this is my boundary. Yeah. Like for future reference, I would rather you don't talk about our sex life with...

X, Y, Z, or, like, show them an intimate moment, or, like, that was something that I really just wanted between us. I don't know. If my boyfriend, I don't have a boyfriend, but if I did have a boyfriend, and if he told his parents or showed them our sex painting, I would be, like, humiliated. But...

Like his family so he knows the line like if his mother would be uncomfortable with that or like think anything of it. Yeah. Well the fact that she's into it and like wants to get one. Yeah. I think it makes it clear that like this wasn't a big deal to them. No. But yeah I wouldn't want people showing around my sex painting I guess. I know it's like yeah you framed it in your bedroom and like I guess like

I don't know, maybe a lot of people don't go in your room and see your room. I wouldn't say it's a betrayal of trust. No, I think it like, honestly, if I would have seen this and this was hanging in someone's house or like a gallery somewhere, I never would expect like, oh, two people made that by fucking on it.

Yeah. And also that feels like, and maybe it's just because we live in Los Angeles, but that feels like something a lot of people would just have in their living room. For sure. And be like, yeah, that's us making love. I mean, did you see the TikTok trend of people sitting their ass on paint and then going and sitting on a canvas? I didn't see that, but that does sound lovely. Yeah, that was a big trend. And then there's these other influencer girls who...

Oh, the Kim Kardashian, this is probably not what you're saying, but statue, they made a body mold of their naked bodies. Yes. That is a thing. I like those. I think that's so cool, especially if you do it when you're pregnant. I know. That's so cool. That's really cool. But no, there's these two influencers, and the only reason I know about them is my ex-boyfriend paid 10 grand for...

their ass cheek painting. What? But they're like these two twins and... Fuck your ex-boyfriend, first of all. That's so weird. He's an ex for a reason. He paid $10,000. Yeah, literally. That's like when that e-girl sold her bath water. Her bath water. Like, who's bath... Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. It's very cringy. Good riddance to him. And no, the funny part was too, he's like, it's going to be an investment. I'll probably make money on this. Like, they're only blowing up. Ooh.

I'm like, okay. Like just literally you could have two girls sit on a canvas. Yeah. That's all it was like good for them. Like get the coin girls. Yeah. They're killing it. They are scamming girl bossing. They are absolutely doing their thing. Yeah. But the man who spends $10,000. It blew me away. That's so concerning. Blew me away. Yeah. So I don't know. I'm,

I'm super open about sex and sexuality. So for me, like, honestly, I would probably... I don't know if I'd send a picture to my boyfriend's mom, but if it came up, I wouldn't be embarrassed to be like, oh, yeah, this is what we did. Yeah, I think this is just more a sense of, like, you have a very different boundary than him. And, like, you are not one of those people who would hang it up in your living room and be like...

super comfortable with it. Yeah. But maybe he just didn't really realize that you felt that way about it and just be like, yo, like this is how I feel moving forward and you're fine. Please don't share it. Yeah. Easy conversation to have. Super easy. Yeah. She doesn't give any edits about like how she approached it. Um,

But I'm glad we looked up what a sex painting is because I felt very differently when it was like, oh, perhaps this is like a painting of them naked. Like, yes, that's so uncomfortable. Like Renaissance style. No, literally, which I actually do love that idea. As well. I think that that sounds awesome, but I would not want anyone's mother to see. No. Yeah.

No, that would be, if it's a realistic painting, that would be a little different for sure. Yeah. Top comment on this one. How on earth did the mom's friend recognize that? It doesn't sound like it would really look like anything in particular. Yeah. To be fair, in her boyfriend's defense as well, I feel like he probably didn't think his mom would know it was a sex painting based on what they look like. No. But I also hope like,

Perfect Christmas gift to get your mom. So true. They're not bad either. If anyone wants one of these kits. Well, you just, yeah, you just get them like a canvas and some paint, right? Yeah, yeah. That's obviously non-toxic. This website that I found them on by Googling just literally sex painting, it's 60 bucks for the whole kit. Oh. It's a steal. And you make a beautiful memory. Exactly.

I know what I'm getting my boyfriend for his birthday. I hope that like when they did that, they had good sex so that whenever they look at it, it's like a good memory. You know what I mean? Imagine if it just reminded you of like a bad sex. A horror sex story. Oh, God.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo, and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. Yeah, hopefully it was good. So up next, my 23 female boyfriend, 25 male, won't stop eating ants. And I don't know what to do. Okay. What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

um i mean like if i'm at a nice restaurant i'll go with it and trust them and be like okay i'll try octopus or i'll try frog or i'll try yeah like i'll give it a go because you know this is a nice place but never off like the ground have i eaten those things yeah this is weird i

I kind of kick myself like when I was in Thailand. I wish I would have tried like the little scorpions or something. Oh, no. I could not go that far. Oh, no. Okay. That's off limits. Because of like what an alive scorpion can do. That just scares me. Not because I think it's like gross. I would try other insects, I guess. Like a grasshopper. Yeah. Is there more context for this story? There definitely is. Okay. Because do we know if they're like candied or if they're off the ground? We're going to find out. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I'm just not the aunt.

However, recently he has developed a strange habit. I know that it's normal for partners to have habits or idiosyncrasies that might annoy one another, but this is one that I don't know if I can put up with. It all started when we were watching a survival show together. Oh no. One of the contestants decided to snack on some ants as a protein source. Right, and they also drink their own pee on their shows. Like you don't need to be doing that either. No.

Okay. Okay.

I thought this was hilarious and a little gross, and I asked him what it tasted like. He said that it tasted slightly sour, like a lemon-lime flavor. And it wasn't bad. Okay. My boyfriend is a bit of a jokester, so I assumed this was just a one-time thing that he did to make me laugh. The thing is, our apartment has a bit of an aunt problem.

We've tried everything from ant traps to coffee grounds, but we can't seem to get rid of them. Now, every time my boyfriend sees an ant, instead of killing it, he will simply pop it into his mouth. Hmm. I think this is disgusting, and frankly, I don't want to kiss the same mouth that has been eating ants. I know that in some cultures, eating ants is perfectly acceptable, but this is just too strange and taboo for me to get used to.

Right. I've tried telling him to stop eating ants, but I've noticed that even after he said he would stop, sometimes I catch him doing it when he thinks I'm not looking. He's obsessed. I don't know what to do. Am I being dramatic? Okay. Yes, in cultures they do eat ants, although like...

I don't know how they prepare them, but these are just like wild ants walking around the ground. Like they're not being cleaned or cooked. They're just like free ants. Also like an ant is like the size of a grain of pepper. Like how do you know you're chewing it and then actually swallowing it? What if it's just like...

Chilling in your mouth. Yeah. I feel like if... What if it got stuck in your tooth? If he was like taking these ants, making some kind of meal with them, cooking them up. Like a bunch of ants in a bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Making some kind of crunchy... Like a crunchy rice dish. Like something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that like eating ants in that way would be super weird. But the fact that he's just like, I feel like he just thinks he's like an apex predator right now. And like, come on.

He's like, I am, what's the Bear Grylls? Oh my God. Is that who he thinks he is? Yeah. By doing this, like you don't have to, like you live in a home. You're not in Naked and Afraid. You're not on an abandoned island. You can just like eat good food. I don't know. I think it's very interesting that like she's asked him to stop eating these ants and he's like, no.

no like this is me now I love this shit he's probably texting his friends like guys I'm like literally hunting and gathering probably and like oh I'm upping my protein like

That's probably what he thinks. He probably just thinks he's like doing a really big protein thing. Like there's not a lot of carbs in these ants. Like my macros. Also, if they've been like trying to get rid of ants with other means, like what if they have like chemicals on them? Oh my God. You know what I mean? Like if they've been trying to get rid of these ants with other methods, like these are not clean ants. Yeah. I'd be worried. Maybe she could tell him that she's worried about his health or something. Seriously, because I can't imagine these ants have enough protein to like

be substantial for his diet or like healthy or adding any benefit. She's like, please stop. And he's like, no, maybe take him to, um, a nice restaurant where they prepare aunt meals once a week and he can get his fix that way or find like a bar on Amazon. I don't know. I just, I,

There's weird restaurants out there that have like these delicacies, like the grasshoppers and all of that. I would definitely try that, but I would only try it in like a professionally –

A professionally prepared environment? Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to be too judgmental because, like, it's actually a normal thing other places. It is, yeah. But it does sound very funny. This might be a deal breaker for me. Like, if my boyfriend continued to eat ants, he found, like...

scrounging around our apartment. And I totally understand that she's like, oh my God, and then he tried to put his tongue in my mouth and I wasn't into it. Yeah, no. Like, if someone's putting their tongue in your mouth, you can tell them you're uncomfortable with something else that they're putting in their mouth. Just say you have an ant allergy. Mm-hmm. Like,

I'll have anaphylactic shock. Yeah, oh my God, babe, my tongue has been swelling up lately and the only thing that's changed is you're eating raw ants now. You're going to put me in the hospital if you keep eating these ants. Yeah, if nothing else works, maybe that would. Just try lying. There was this girl that said her parents told her she had a gene where if she smoked weed, she would shit her pants. Oh my God, I saw this. Yes.

Which is like the most convincing way to get someone to just not try things in public situations. She's like, it's a gene. People in my family shit their pants if they have weed. I would never try it. So I think that's so smart. So smart. Sometimes you lie a little. Sometimes a little white lie can be very helpful, especially, you know, if it's going to ruin you socially. Because like,

Where does he draw the line? Like, if he went to a restaurant and was outdoors and he saw a couple ants. Oh, yeah. You can't take him anywhere. You can't take him anywhere. He's addicted to ants now. He's addicted to ants, which, speaking of bugs. Oh, transition. Nice transition moment. Am I the asshole for throwing away my husband's couch? He is pretending to be a beetle and it's driving me nuts. What? What?

He's pretending to be a beetle? A beetle. Does he have some kind of couch that he likes to hide under? I think that's the vibe. Okay. I think that's the vibe. Backstory. My 33 female husband, 35 male, is a successful actor in film and theater. He's very good and very seriously dedicated to his craft.

He is a firm believer in method acting. I'm a Shia LaBeouf. I could so see him doing this. I know, me too. Oh my God.

Meaning he tries to truly live in his role in order to understand it. Because of COVID, he basically hasn't had any work this year. And that's been really stressful on us both. A few weeks back, he got the main part in a play by a major theater director. And so he's over the moon to not just be learning lines again, but working with the greats. He is taking this opportunity extremely seriously.

The play is The Metamorphosis, about a German man waking up one day and finding out he has become a monstrous bug, a huge beetle. My husband has the main beetle part. For his method acting, he strapped a big thing of cardboard to his back, like six by four feet, to give him the immobility of a big flat bug.

He spends all his time on the floor scurrying around and hissing and snarling and clicking to communicate. No. Really good. Thank you so much. Wow, maybe you should try this. I'm going to when I get home.

This isn't really a problem for me because we have enough space in our one-bedroom apartment. The real issue is that since bugs are sensitive to light, he spends most of the day hiding under the couch, sleeping and snarling. This sucks because the couch is the only place in our apartment where I can sit to do work for my company during the day. I don't have a desk, but it's also the only place where he can conveniently lie flat and hide.

Oh.

This gets to the am I the asshole question. He is now complaining that I threw out his couch. True. That nowhere else in the apartment is quite as good for being a bug. I'm not sure. And that me sabotaging his ability to be bug-like is compromising our finances. Not really true. I make more money than he does.

He has a point on that throwing out his couch might have been over the line, but there wasn't really a good spot for my work desk anywhere else in the apartment. And frankly, the bug under the couch thing was driving me nuts. His method acting still seems to be going fine. He's now spending most of his days under a blanket fort in our bedroom. See, she made him level up with his acting choices. She was like, well, what will this beetle do without a couch? You can have the couch everywhere. Yeah. I mean...

Beatles don't have couches. Beatles got to improvise. So yeah, there we go with the fort. Say yes and King learn, learn a new trick. I think that's even challenging his acting more. Like he's becoming better because he's really thinking outside the box. She's training him. Exactly. Those noises would drive me nuts.

So she goes on, so no permanent damage appears to have been done other than the couch, which kind of needed to be replaced anyways. Okay, so I love this one personally. Hilarious. I think it's amazing. I love that he is taking his job so seriously. So seriously. Many people can't relate to that. Okay.

can kind of see both sides here. Like, I mean, sure, he's a bit weird, but also if you're married to somebody, like, you know, you need to just kind of accept them, you know? Like, clearly if he's doing this, he's done something similar before. Oh, for sure. She knows what she was getting herself into with the method acting. Right. Method actors...

Go above and beyond. And granted, she probably never knew he'd be cast as a Beatle. But still, like she knows who she married. And you can't really like at that point be like, no, I need to change you. However, I don't think that throwing away the couch was really so terrible when he's constantly not really considering her sanity. No. A one bedroom apartment. Yeah. There's not a lot of space to like.

the two. Yeah. So, yeah. And she needed a workbench, which I feel like him needing to hide under the couch to be a bug isn't as important as her needing to do her work. No. I wonder if she, like, because she doesn't really mention that she asked him to stop. Yeah. Like, kind of passively,

Kind of passive aggressive. Right. Slash aggressive. Just like throwing the couch up. I mean, I'm sure she's asked him to stop. I mean, I guess I can't say for sure. But like. But you'd think so. I'm just imagining myself in that situation. I would have like lost it and been like, please stop clicking and scurrying around our home when I'm trying to make our family money. Money.

I have ADHD, as you know. Like, you do as well. And so, like, all of these noises for me would put me over the edge. Like, I cannot focus on multiple things at the same time. If someone was, like, crawling around, clicking and, like, hissing, I would lose it. There's a line of where it's like, oh, I'm...

my wife's life very difficult and hard to do her own stuff and I'm impeding on her career. It's like, because he's recognizing that she made it harder to be a bug and he's so mad about that but he's not going to recognize that like he's been making her career also very difficult to do. More like all about him. You know what I mean? So like,

I don't think there's anything wrong with him method acting, being a bug, being his quirky self because like, you know, don't try to change people but like, I do think there's a lack of consideration in the way he's going about it. You know, like maybe he can have his bug time and that's a few days a week and he goes to the park. No, she would hate that too. Like,

But find like another way to practice your bug stuff. Do it in the bedroom maybe. I don't know. That, but also I think the park would really put the method acting over the edge. True. Like that would be the ultimate space. True. Release your bug husband into the wild and see what he does. That's where bugs belong. I like that this is kind of thematic to the last one also. Yeah.

I love that this is like the ant guy. Oh my God. The bug guy would be terrified of the ant eater man. Oh my God. He'd be horrified. They should reenact something together. We should connect them somehow. We should. We should definitely try to connect them. Because the beetle man would have to be like so terrified. And then the ant guy would be like, please, can I eat you? I'm just horrified by both of these.

Yeah, and I do feel for the man being like, listen, you know I love method acting, and I am literally cast as a Beatle, so I'm going to be Beatling. But at the same time, it's like, how much can you hide under a couch and learn from that? Yeah, there's only so many times you can hide under the couch and truly say you're learning something new. And also, I would say this woman does sound kind of like a saint, and I don't think that her just throwing out the couch is like...

Some awful thing to do after how much she has put up with. Yeah. Well, she made like a little side comment that I did just skip over. But he only acts like a bug during working hours. So like a nine to five. Okay. And that's when she's working at home as well. Exactly. I'm shocked that this relationship survived the pandemic. Congratulations to them. This sounds so difficult.

Truly. It would be nice if she could like go somewhere else during the day, but that's, yeah. It's like a WeWork situation. So when she is trying to work, he is clicking and screeching and scurrying with his big cardboard box. Yeah. The box too, six feet by four feet. That's fucking big. That is such a funny visual. That's literally hilarious. I wish she would have posted a picture. This man like...

I really am sad that there's no picture. I wish there were YouTube videos. I would love to see his performance at home. Wait, I wonder... If we could find the play about a beetle. That's literally what I'm Googling. I'm Googling the name of the play because I wonder if there's actual pictures of him online. Oh my God. And we show up and then we say, are you this man? Is this you? This you? Okay. The play looks...

horrifying okay that makes sense to me that's one still oh um if you're listening and not watching it's like two people in like latex leather full suits and then a man on the ground like turned over um this definitely this is him this if this is the right play this is him

Wait, does it say like the year? Is this like a recent? He is killing the bug vibe, by the way. Just so you guys know, he is really embodying the Beatles. So congratulations to him on that. Why can't he just like spend all that time watching Beatles and stuff like that? And maybe like quietly in the closet. Like Beatles spend the most time in dark little tiny places. So put him in the closet. True, true.

This one is old. So this is not a recent one. So we're going to have to find out what year 2020. I hope it's just like a local, like really tiny theater production. He's like doing all of that for what? I know. Like literally me in high school spending all my time practicing for theater. You were in theater girl. For what? You were in theater.

girl I love that we love theater girls I mean we don't but like we can appreciate it hey it made you a well-rounded individual thank you so much did thank you so much

Yeah. Not seeing anything. I'm going to do some more research and see if I can find him because. Yeah. When we're off the air, we're going to find this man and we can post a picture of it on your Instagram. Yeah. That was the same play though. But each director can kind of adapt differently. Yeah. That one looked a bit high budget. So. It did. I don't know. I'll post the pictures because it's a little terrifying, you guys. Hopefully.

Hopefully that's, like, the most obnoxious role he ever has to practice for. I know. Although, like, let's hope he doesn't ever get cast as something scary, like a serial killer. Oh, my God. Because when actors do that, like, it permanently messes up their psyches. It does. Like, it really takes a toll. Like, look at... Heath Ledger? Heath Ledger and, like, the Joker. Like, he...

He locked himself in like a, I don't know, hotel room or something for like two months, I'm pretty sure. Or I don't know the exact details, so I don't want to try to pretend I do. But it was something really extreme. And a lot of actors do that, not even just emotionally, but like with their bodies. They'll do crazy things like lose weight or like gain weight or so many things that are...

objectively not good for you. Oh my God, so bad. And it's like, congratulations, you did make some beautiful art, but imagine being that person's significant other. That's got to be like so stressful. Or just them. Like I think Tom Hanks had to lose a bunch of weight.

And then gain a bunch of weight. And he actually gave himself diabetes. Oh, my God. From, like, how unhealthy he had to be to, like, gain the weight back. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm so glad we have, like, CGI now. Like, Chris Evans in the... When he was Captain America and they made him really skinny for that first. Oh, yes. And, like, really short and skinny. Like, thank God he didn't have to actually do that to his body. Yeah. Or the body suits because who's the other...

chris hemsworth and thor and he has like the big beer belly dad yeah i don't know if chris hemsworth could look like that if he tried in real life so yeah i don't think he could and honestly like i've tried one of his workouts the man is a beast oh like i would not try a chris hemsworth workout that doesn't sound like something that well maybe that could be my goal it was motivating watching him because right oh shit like okay he's still moving i can do it like

But I don't know. Maybe this is why I don't work out anymore because I put my body through that. Too much. Just too much. Maybe work up to the Chris Hemsworth routine. I know. I know. But yeah, that's interesting. I feel like it's, I mean, she kind of knows what she's signed up for, but maybe she thought it would be a phase. Who knows? Well, hopefully they'll get a better couch out of the deal. Yeah. And I hope the play goes. And you know, if you're listening, have a discussion about the couch.

Clicking? Yeah. I just, I don't know. Good luck. Good luck to you. Praying for you. Yeah. Thoughts and prayers. I hope it went well. There's no update on the post and the top comments are just... We would love to come see the show, queen. Send us tickets. Give us a flyer. Yeah. Send us tickets. I'm just going to see if she posted anything else on her account. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. That's so unfortunate. Yeah. Maybe the creepy listening algorithm will put it on her page and she'll DM you. Yeah. Here's the thing. I'm creeping on one of her comments. They live in Northern California. It was a very nice mid-century modular couch. Honestly, probably looks like the one we're sitting on. It was tall, wooden legs, so it was easy to get under for him. But...

This thread was posted six months ago and she goes, the premiere will be next year in Los Angeles. We literally are going. We are literally going to Bugman's show. We are going to find Metamorphosis and we will be there. And we're going to get pictures with them.

We need to. We can totally find this when we're done recording. We're going to find it, we're going to go, and we're going to have literally the time of our lives. This is going to be great. We are going to fan girl so hard over Bug Boy. We can make merch. We can be wearing shirts that say, We love Beetle Guy. Where's your couch? Be more considerate of your wife.

I love this. Oh, it's so funny. We're going. Okay, I'm so excited. It's set. This one is going to leave you feeling a certain way, I think. Oh, God. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or

Am I the asshole for refusing to apologize for throwing away my dinner instead of letting my fiance have it?

I, female 22, have been with my fiance, male 20, for two years, and we recently got engaged. I handle cooking while he takes care of all the other stuff, including rent and utilities. He's been eating a lot lately. I started cooking in large pots and buying extra ingredients. He usually tells me what he'd like to eat for dinner. Note, I only cook dinner three times a week. Other than that, we have plenty of leftovers.

So, on to the situation. Last night, I cooked dinner early because he wanted to eat early. I prepared his plate and put my plate in the fridge, ready to reheat for later. I was finished with studying and took a shower, then went into the kitchen to reheat my dinner and sat at the table by myself and began eating. My fiancé came out of the bedroom saying he smelled the food while he was inside playing video games and thought of joining me because he was hungry.

Yeah.

He made a face and went to grab a spoon so we could eat together. I pulled my plate away and pointed at the fridge telling him there was some leftovers in the fridge and he could go ahead and reheat some if he was so hungry. He refused and insisted to share my dinner. I stood my ground and didn't let him. He got all pissed, threw his spoon in the sink, and spit in my plate. I would shank him. I would take my utensil and put it in his hand.

I would not handle this well. Spit? At all. That is such a disrespectful act. That's abusive. Yeah, that's very, very disrespectful. That is abuse. Like we have talked about the worst ways you can argue with somebody and that is... The worst. The worst. The worst.

I was 100% taken by surprise and was so livid and disgusted. I shouted, what the fuck did he just do? He just smirked at me, telling me to enjoy as he walked out of the room. I called him fucking childish and he turned around and walked back in saying I was the one acting like a high school bully for refusing to let him share my dinner and telling him a high school bully. He's so ridiculous.

and telling him to just have leftovers. I said he was being selfish and petty to spit on my plate to stop me from eating, and he managed to do it. I was so upset and couldn't eat what was on my plate. It was gross and disgusting. I threw it in the garbage can, and he threw another fit asking why I threw away perfect food, and he was counting on me giving it to him after he spit on it.

We had a major fight, probably the worst fight we've ever had thus far. He says, I was wrong. I escalated and wants me to apologize first so we could put this past us. But I said, no, no way I'd apologize after he ruined my dinner and disregarded the time and effort I made to prepare dinner.

That is very messed up. I just don't understand. Why would it ever go there? Why would it ever go there? I just cannot imagine how hateful you have to feel in a moment to do that. You know what I mean? You have to feel so...

I don't know. You just aren't even treating that person like a human. No. You're totally disregarding them as a person. And this is your fiance. You're supposed to love them. And let her just...

Let her eat. Like she wants to have food. Let her eat. Why do you feel so entitled to someone else's food? No, that's so fucked up. And there's leftovers in the fridge. It takes two seconds to scoop something on a plate or a bowl and put it in the microwave. Yeah, but he's got Fortnite to get back to. Oh, fucker.

This is so, so bad. Oh my God. This would be a relationship ending for me. Yeah, me too. I'm glad that they're not married yet. This is... And like what's worse they feel? Maybe not worse, but like the fact that now that that moment has come and passed and it's like another day, he still isn't even understanding that like he's the one who should apologize. It's not like this happened and then the next day he was like, oh my God, that was really messed up with me. I'm so sorry. Like that would still be bad. But the fact that even now still...

He's like, no. He's standing his ground. You didn't give me your food and that was deserved. You escalated this. Like, how? How is she escalating it by just not giving the food? Like, just by not giving it to him? Who knows? And throwing it away. And like, you just know if he's that selfish and he's probably so bad in bed.

It does translate to other areas. Honestly, he's literally not considering the fact that she needs to eat to survive. There's no way that he is like a generous or even equitable partner. I'm blown away by this one. Like I literally was about ready to like toss my phone. And like if I would have been her and someone spit in my food, that food and that plate, like I get like don't fight violence with violence. Right. But like...

That thing would have been tossed at him. Yeah, that is very messed up. I would love to ask her to please leave him, but I don't know if she'll hear us. Are there comments? Are there people being like, girl? Yes. Top comment. Not the asshole. And I sincerely hope you've already broken up with this man. Do not tie your life to his.

Next one is like a million red flags. He dropped about 500 of these. Not the asshole OP, but you could drive a B-52 bomber through your boyfriend's asshole. It is so big. He spit in your food that you were eating because he is an angry, angry little man. Do not let anyone disrespect you like that. It will only get worse.

Yeah, I mean, like, they're not even married yet and he's doing shit like that. Like, that is such a 500 red flags because that's not a good sign of behavior to come. No, and, like, he was so malicious and, like,

toxic the fact that he spit in her food in hopes that she would then give it to him but it's like okay this is just over food what is it going to be like down the road when you get in a fight over something that is like more that's so true like this is literally such a low stakes reason to have that aggressive of behavior like all that he had to do is fucking heat up some food

Literally just heat up some food, but he wanted her specifically, which is like kind of a sign of wanting somebody to show that like they value. Yeah, dominance. And like they value you over their own like survival. And like it's a very creepy like instinct for him to think, no, I need to have exactly what like she wants right now in order to feel like I'm in control. And like this is. It's some very like toxic stuff.

Alpha masculinity bullshit. Yeah, like the place it's coming from is not good. No. This comment like really, really stood out too and it got a shit ton of awards and they go... Comments get awards on Reddit? They get awards and like presents and apparently like...

Like these people have to spend money to give the awards. So it's like, it's really, it's kind of crazy. People can get money for good comments on Reddit? See, that's what I don't know. But I know that it costs money to buy the awards. Okay. So then I don't know if like once you get the awards, you can cash out.

I could make millions on Reddit. I've got comments. Another avenue we should explore. Thank you so much. So this comment, though, this isn't a red flag at all. Red flags are alarming, potentially suspicious behavior that indicates someone might be abusive. This is straight up abusive.

Not the asshole. And for the love of God, don't marry this dude. Oh my gosh. When you started that sentence, I was like, oh, I'm about to be mad at someone. But then, because he was like, this isn't a red flag. And I was like, um, but then they were like. They recovered. Yeah. So true. Yeah. No, this is abusive. This is very like psychologically, mentally, emotionally abusive. Maybe they need to stop playing these video games. I actually don't know if that's a thing. Do violent video games make people feel violent? That's a good question.

There's a lot of research on that. I don't remember if it was concluded one way or the other. There's a lot. But maybe he's coming off of that like, I'm a god. I kill people. Like, I get all the food I want. Gamer high? Yeah. I feel like gamer like convos and environments can just be like not the best. Yeah. You know what I mean? Especially for women. Yeah. Like the TikToks of women gamers who like just go into a game and they're like, hi, and

And it's instant, go make me a sandwich, bitch. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. This man needs some, not help, actually. He needs to be like isolated on an island. Yeah. He needs an intervention of some sort. My dad is like standing behind us too and he's like doing like a shoot yourself charades over there. Yeah, he's...

My dad is listening, again, waiting for his shot back in the spotlight. But yeah, this one, run. Run far and fast because... Yeah, there are so many different parts of that that I feel like indicate really unhealthy behaviors, but also ways of viewing his partner and, I don't know, just the kind of dynamic he wants to have with her, which is not good. Yeah. Yeah.

Not good at all. And he doesn't even want to apologize now. No. That's crazy to me. The fact that he's sticking to his guns. He's not even like, I'm so sorry, baby. I never would have meant to do that to you. He's like, you better apologize, bitch. You did not give me your food. No, fuck him. He's not cooking at all. Like, you made me spit. Bitch, this dude sucks. Like, absolutely sucks. Throw him away. Throw him away. Throw him away. Wash your hands. Never open the trash again. Good riddance.

Okay, last one. We're ending. We started off very positive and, like, funny. Yeah. And we took a turn because this one, too, is, like... This one's also going to make me mad. Yeah. Okay, I'm ready. Am I the asshole for throwing away my girlfriend's dead best friend's T-shirt? Yes! Terrible. There's no more context needed. Terrible. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah.

So he goes, hear me out. I know it sounds bad. I have been with my girlfriend for a couple of years and we live together. My girlfriend lost her best friend of 10 years, her senior year of college.

They had gone through a lot together, but the best friend had some untreated mental issues and she lost the fight against her depression. My girlfriend was the one who found her. They lived together at the time. This caused my girlfriend to spiral. She wound up helping the parents go through her stuff. She now has a box of old journals that were her best friends. They had a pact that if one dies, they wouldn't let anyone else read them. Too embarrassing or something. A t-shirt and some art she had done and a bunch of scrapbooks.

My girlfriend was in a dark place for a long time. I met her a couple years after the incident, and it's taken time, but she has gotten better. She was and is in counseling for grief and other stuff. She used to talk about the friend constantly, but now it's down to every once in a while. Now, generally, when I clean, I take stuff and put it in a bag and tell her to go through it before I throw it out.

Today, I was going through our closet and was making a donate slash throwaway pile. I asked her to go through it when I was done, but she had a lot of work and said it was probably fine. She generally doesn't care too much about her clothes, and I think she was overwhelmed. Well, I threw out the stuff that was worn and old, ripped, etc. Then after I showered, my girlfriend came yelling at me, demanding to know where the t-shirt is.

I asked her, what t-shirt? And she said the one belonging to her dead best friend. I asked if she lost it and she said, no, it was in the closet. So then I said, it might have gotten thrown out. And she just started screaming at me. I said, I asked her to go through the piles, but she said, no.

Okay. Okay.

I don't know how I feel about him, like, just not knowing it was the t-shirt. Like, I guess I don't fully blame him for that part, but the way he's reacting to this is not empathetic at all. Like, he should be like, oh my God, I feel so bad for doing this. Like, that was a stupid mistake. I should have paid better attention to, like, when you were telling me about this. Like,

Clearly, he knows that this is very important to her because he was describing her mental state, like, at the beginning of this Reddit post. Like, in detail, he very clearly understood, like, all of those things. But, like, he now doesn't really understand why it matters to her when, like, he saw how torn up she's been. Yeah. The last sentence, I don't get why she is so upset. She has all of these other things to remember her by. Like, why?

doesn't matter what else she has that t-shirt was important yeah bottom line right and like i don't i think maybe i'll 10 blame him for like accidentally choosing that and like you know she also probably should have put it somewhere different or like made it very clear to him been like this is the shirt if that was never mentioned but like the way he's treating it now and being like i have no idea why she's mad at me that's really not fair no not at all and like

It sounds like she found out pretty quickly. Yeah. Like, it sounds like he just, like, literally threw the stuff away in the donate pile or whatever and then was showering and she found out. Like, I would, if, say, I made a mistake and did this, I would immediately be trying to fix it. I would run down to the trash or I would run to the donation place and try to get it back. Like, it's not gone-gone unless you literally put it in the trash and then the fucking...

dumpster truck came. Yeah. This should have been like reacted to as if it was an awful mistake that like he felt so bad about and didn't mean. And then maybe it could have been okay. But I feel like probably part of why she left is that he responded like, why is it such a big deal? Like that, that's only going to further her frustration and anger and like reaction. That's going to escalate it. Yeah. Well, and the fact too, what I'm kind of getting stuck on with this one is

Like, he talks about how important the friend is. But then he's like, I know she told me a story, but, like, honestly, I just didn't listen. Yeah, you're right. That part was also very icky sounding. Like, I know that it was really, really important to her. And she told me a story. I don't really remember what it was. I wasn't paying close attention. Like, what?

What? I don't remember the shirt. This was clearly like a very vulnerable moment for her. And like, that's probably part of the frustration too is it probably is an indicator of larger issues she has in the relationship of him just like not paying attention to things that are super important to her. And this was clearly like a very strong manifestation of that. 100%. I don't know. Oh, that poor girl.

So top comment on the original post. You're the asshole. I was on your side thinking you just honestly fucked up with no ill intent until I got to your last two sentences. Yeah, that's how I felt too. I was like, oh my God, that's awful for both of them because like he had no idea. He was just trying to clean, made a big mistake. But no, it sounds like from his language and like,

just random little parts in there that he just truly doesn't pay much attention to things she says that are important to her. And now he's like, why are you so mad? Which all of those things are just going to make it even bigger than what it already was, which it already is going to upset her a lot. Yeah. It's just, it's heartbreaking. So there is an update. Okay.

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So with my last post, I figured I owed you guys an update. I had apologized at the time, but I didn't think I fucked up that badly. At this point, some of this stuff felt excessive. I was the one going through her shared closet because we have been doing an overall deep clean of the apartment. As far as getting rid of her stuff, I was only throwing out stuff that was clearly ripped. She was aware this was happening. I did try to get the shirt back. By the time I got out there, the trash had been picked up.

I called the company, but they said it was gone. After reading some comments, I called the best friend's parents. My girlfriend still goes around the holidays over there and briefly explained what happened. They said that over the past year, they have been downsizing and they went through her stuff and half got donated, but the other half was sitting in her sister's attic in a box if I wanted to ask her. I called the sister, told her what happened, and asked if there was anything she would be willing to let my girlfriend have.

Okay.

Her cousin said I had no right to have any opinion about the best friend, that she was some amazing person, and I had been so disrespectful about her. Wait, what opinion did he have?

I don't know. I feel like he's... He's keeping some things out, I think. I think he's leaving things out here. He's conveniently not disclosing. Like, what was the opinion that her family members are so upset about? I know. He then said that if her best friend were still alive, she would have talked my girlfriend into dumping me years ago. Go off. I felt that was uncalled for. Her brother started telling me to go to hell and that I was always jealous of the best friend and that I need to get off his property.

Damn.

Yeah. Oh, he's such a victim, isn't he? I don't trust this man. I think he's been saying some shit. Mm-hmm. She said she would be more than happy to send my girlfriend the items we talked about, but to her brother or grandmother's house, since I can't be trusted. Okay.

A couple hours later, I got a text from her saying it's over and she's breaking up with me. Her brothers came by an hour later to get her stuff and she is now refusing to take any of my calls. So for those who hoped she would dump me, you got your wish. Oh, whatever. Grow up, you little bitch. A little victim complex. Oh my God. I couldn't imagine breaking up with her over this, especially since we were together almost three years and she can't even answer her phone to dump me.

I feel like, okay, we're only getting this man's side and like what he chooses to tell and it still doesn't make him look great. No. So I imagine if the girlfriend were giving us like the actual context of like, I'm sure he made little comments when he's like, it's not that big of a deal. Like he probably said some shit along with that that clearly upset the family and her and like,

100%. Brought it to this place. Like, sir, tell us the whole truth. I wish that she could tell us what he said. I know. The top comment on this one, I get the feeling there's something important you are leaving out. After you spoke with the sister and told her what happened, she agreed to send a couple items to replace the shirt. But then she got the story from your ex and now is furious with you? What?

what are you leaving out of the story? Right. Because clearly like when he was asking for the new stuff, he would have told her in that conversation that he accidentally threw it out and she like didn't freak out in that conversation. So like she knew that, but then there was something else that happened that he's not mentioning that brought it to a different place. Oh my God. Yeah. We're going to, it's about to get really juicy. Oh, there's more.

There's more. Oh, I'm so excited. The next comment goes, And someone goes,

He did. He made her take down six pictures she had of her friend in their house and also complains in another comment that she was still seeing her dead best friend's family and friends once a year. He also bitched about finding her looking at old videos of her best friend in the middle of the night. What is he so insecure about?

What? Like, why is this such a thing? This is so weird. So weird. This is very, very insecure. Yeah. I had an ex get, like, upset about my little red panda stuffed animal that I sleep with every night. And he was, like, mean to my red panda stuffed animal. And I almost killed him. I was like, first of all, it's not alive. I just love to cuddle it. And I do care for Mr. Rover. But, like, why are you mad at him? What the fuck? How is someone so insecure and so threatened by a stuffed animal? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. And like a dead girl. Like this was someone that was so, so important to her and her life and she's gone. There is no competition because she's gone.

She's literally gone. Yeah. And like if she was alive, like she wouldn't be looking at pictures of her in the middle of the night, obviously. Like why does your world need to revolve only around you? Yeah. Well, and in that comment, they go, if it's in the middle of the night, it means she was trying to hide it. And yet he says she was being excessive. Yeah. He is a narcissistic control freak. And that poor girl dodged a massive shot.

Yeah. Even in his original one, he was like, she used to talk about her all the time, but now she only mentions her like every now and then. Yeah. Probably because of how you react. Yeah. It's probably not because she doesn't care anymore. Like you're trying to make her not care because you're insecure. That is literally crazy. So toxic. No offense to crazy people. I am one of you. Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely disgusting. This is a big trend that I've actually seen on Reddit though where like boyfriends are threatened by like their girlfriend's ex-fiance who passed away. And like this one guy went so far as to like this girl had her old locket that he like her ex-fiance who had passed gave her and he threw it away. What the fuck? Yeah, like people are so threatened and it's like

Why? How? Why? For what? Like, there's no competition when that person is gone. Yeah, that's very gross. I don't understand, like, how you can be so controlling over someone's, like, attention and time that, like, a dead person who was even platonic could, like... Platonic, too! He was mad that she saw her family once a year? Yeah.

Like, what? Why would that matter? Like, you could see anybody once a year. Is she allowed to have friends? That is...

So strange. Because like, I don't know, like I'm super close with like some of my friends' family. Yeah. Like their family becomes your family. Yeah. And if you were friends for 10 years, like she died her senior year of college, which, okay, you're like 22. So if they were friends for 10 years. Yeah, that's a lot of time and like all the big life moments. Well, they started out being friends so young. So yeah, like all those life moments from 12 until like 22 or college graduation age, like

That's a lot of life to live with someone. Oh my God. I am so glad that it ended with her dumping him. And I love that he was trying to be like, so everyone's saying she should dump me. Congrats. You got your wish. You got your wish. It's like, oh my God, please stop projecting on everybody else. Cry a little more. He almost did get me to feel like bad for him in the first post when he was like, I had no idea. And I was like, oh, he probably is about to say how bad he feels. But no.

No, no. He's just like, my girlfriend's overreacting, right? Like she did not do anything to make this clear to me. Like clearly he does know how much it mattered to her because he's been bothered by it. Oh, yeah. Well, and it's like if it was a true accident and you know you made like an honest mistake. Yeah. You wouldn't be writing in a Reddit.

Yeah. Asking if you were the asshole. That's so true. I, like, there is a part of me that does think it maybe was on purpose. 100%. Yeah. I mean, if he's making her take down, like, other things. Oh, my God. Yeah. And also the way he described her, like, having a breakdown as having some little meltdown or something like that. Yes. He said some kind of words where I was like. A meltdown.

That's not how you describe someone going through a hard time when you care about them. Yeah. Like, do you even like your girlfriend? Because...

All signs point to no. Yeah. Like, big fucking no. Well, happy ending with her breaking up with him. I'm glad we got to know that. Because I would be so upset right now if we didn't know that. Or if they were together still. I'd be heartbroken. I'm glad she has, like, people around her that, like, she was honest with and, like, told the story to. And they would, like, stay away from him. Oh, the brother and the cousin coming outside. Yeah. Round of applause for that. They go off.

What was the comment? Like, if her friend was alive, she would have convinced her to dump you years ago. Like, love that. Probably true. Give him a little bit of a wake-up call. And that's why she misses her so much. Yeah. I can't imagine. Like, I can't imagine. So terrible. Well, we got a lot of good contenders today. So many. So many fun little friends with their bugs and their...

The beetle toxicity and their spit and their clacks and their God, some of these I would kill if they happen to me. Like, I know I was like listening to most of these thinking, oh my God, my response to this would be so much worse. I know. I don't know how some of these people keep it together because I like the, the spit one. Yeah. Dude would be out of the house. Yeah. He would be missing a limb. Done.

Done. Did you have any little stories you wanted to share? I don't have like stories, but I would love to share a little, a couple of my SheRatesDogs posts as of late because...

You know, they're kind of similar. You got some good contenders always. This one is very short, but I really loved this interaction. So a girl DMed him, I'm swamped at work today trying to catch up and don't think I'm going to be able to make it work tonight. Can we reschedule? And he replied, hey, no, I'd rather not. Let's just stick with today. Smiley face. Smiley face.

What? This is so funny to me. She's like, sorry, like, I'm really swamped. Don't think I can make it work. Can we reschedule? He's like, you know what? She left an opening. She left a little bit of an opening there. The question mark at the end. Like, sir, it doesn't work like that. Yeah, someone commented, that smiley face at the end is choosing violence. What a dick. That's so funny. This is why he's still single. And then here's a really good one.

I'm very happy to have cyber met you and hope we have a wonderful relationship for a long time starting today. However, I want to give you informed consent that I have diabetes, so I don't wear condoms. Is that all right with you if we develop a passionate relationship? I'd love to in your mouth after we make love and 69 since I've had 30 years of relationships without condoms and I have neuropathy and it is very hard to get and stay hard with condoms. I hope you understand my medical situation.

This man had... I literally Googled. I was like, do people with diabetes, can they not wear condoms? And like, of course that's not true. But I literally did Google it to make sure first. I have no fucking words for this at all. Like, diabetes causes like numbness and tingling. So like, that's the neuropathy, like neuropathy, depending on how you like, whatever the fuck you want to say it. But like... I don't know how to say words. I literally am in healthcare and I'm like, neuropathy, like everyone says different anyways. So like, I don't fucking know. But I'm like...

Okay, but like I don't I've never heard of losing sensation in your dick. Hope you understand my medical situation, but we cannot use condoms. Also, like how soon is this coming out? Like happy to have cyber met you like, yeah, it's like one of the initial DMS. Like what are we working with? Well, I'm sure that they haven't met yet. Otherwise, he would have said I'm very happy to have met you. He wouldn't have said cyber met. This is clearly like they have not even met.

no, no, no, no. And like 30 years of passionate sex without condoms. No one needs this information, sir. My dad is like blown away. He is up out of his seat to hear this one. He is shaking his head. You guys like, Oh my God, I'm disturbed.

I'm absolutely disturbed. Do you want me to do one more? Oh, yeah. Keep them coming. Okay, okay. So the guy said, none of my attempts to make you happy mean anything to you. And she was like, I try to show you that I love you as much as I can. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry. And he said, just let me die. She said, what? He said, let me die. It doesn't matter because you were happy. And then he sends a screenshot from her Instagram with the caption, you don't look sad. And she was like, I don't know what to do.

And it's her at a Shawn Mendes concert. And she says, what's wrong with me being happy though? And he said, I'm not as good as Shawn. Don't say shit about he doesn't compare to me because you know damn well he's more talented, better looking. He's never met you and makes you happier than me. You'd probably rather spend a day with him over me.

The only reason you stopped idolizing him was because we started officially dating. But you still posted stuff when I told you I loved you. I know that doesn't matter how many times you tell me I'm special. I know he'll always have a place in your heart. And then he sends a picture of like a sign she made, I guess, that just says, get well soon, Sean, with an exclamation point with like a heart. And he said, every time I see your drawn hearts, I'll think of Sean and realize it's nothing special just for me.

Oh my God. Shawn Mendes. Is this man okay? Like he's mad that she was happy at a concert. He was like, I don't make you happy like that. Like, okay, that's a you problem. This guy in the last one who threw away the t-shirt need to meet because they sound like they are having a narcissistic victim complex. And these people were in college as well. This isn't like, this isn't middle schoolers, which I know. I was going to say how old.

How old are they? No, they're in college. Oh my God, no. But they are broken up now. She did give me the update. Thank God. The nice thing about like my posts is that people submit them to me so I can always follow up and be like, are you guys done? Please tell me you're done. Dear Lord, what a man. Put him in some fucking rice because... Yeah, that is very similar to the one that you said. You draw hearts and I'll never feel special again when you draw me a heart because I know you did the same for Sean.

He's so much more talented than me.

Like, yes, yes. Shawn Mendes is more talented than you bestie. Like, clearly. Look at him. He's touring. Like, what? Like, that's his job. He's got Grammys and shit. He's literally famous and has awards. Like, K, a truer statement couldn't be said. What do you want me to say to that? Oh, my God. It's so fucking funny. No, no, babe. No, Shawn is... He doesn't compare to you. Sending her a picture of her Instagram. Like, you look happy here. Nothing you say matters. Let me die.

What are you supposed to do at a concert? Like sit there and fucking sulk? Look sad because your boyfriend, who's the only person who can give you joy, isn't there. That's all you can do. Sometimes you just like wonder, like why do people, people, like why do men, men, like sometimes women fit the box too. Why do women, women, like what the fuck? I don't know. I love that though. That's like literally a college age man so broken up over her enjoying herself at a Shawn Mendes concert. Oh my God. He's like, I can't make you smile.

The Diabetes Man is going to haunt me. Yeah. Absolutely haunt me. That one, you know, I've heard a lot of excuses for not wanting to wear a condom. Oh, mm-hmm. But that might be...

That's definitely sticking in my head forever. I had another one that was like her DMing him or not DM, but like texting him. Like, I want to use condoms from now on. And him just replying, you're so fucking selfish. Different couple. But like, it's just very funny. Sir. You're so fucking selfish. Like, comparatively, the amount that birth control affects women's bodies and like we just put up with that shit. Like, please.

give me a break. Yeah, well, and how easy it is for us to get UTIs and just a dick alone can offset our pHs. Just admit that you have a porn addiction and that's why your dick doesn't work. Please. I just don't understand. Maybe buy a condom size that fits. Use lube. I don't know. That sounds like a

Yeah. But shout out to all of them. Hope they're having fun. That's just a little bit of what we do on She Rates Dogs. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Come join Michaela over there and check out our episode. Yeah. You guys would love it. You get into Morgan's like, you know, medical, not medical, I guess. Medical jargon. Yeah. Medical jargon. Your educational history. Mental health. Your mental health expertise. Our tangents were on point. So true. It was good. We did tangent a lot. It was good.

It was good. That's just the way our little brains work. Little rat brains. Little rat brains. Yeah.

Well, thank you so much for having me. No, thank you. I had so much fun. I know. I did too. I love the bugs. I know. We're going to just be bug girls. We're going to find Beetleman. We are finding him. Like that is on my bucket list now. And if you guys are interested in also finding Beetleman and going to his show, follow Too Hot Takes on Instagram and there will be updates posted. Look at you just plugging me over there. Oh my God.

No, but we're seriously going. We should start like a little group and like maybe see if we can get like a bulk ticket price. Yeah. And we can like frame the playbills and it'll be like the fondest memory. And if we have to have him sign it. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. And the wife. Yeah. She might be bigger celebrity than him. At this point. Be like, ma'am, are you OK? Oh, my God. Do you sleep?

I'm just traumatized by these stories today. But there are good and happy, healthy relationships, are there? So moral of the story, don't stick around for shitty ones. Don't stick around. Don't settle. Don't think that the red flags are going to go away. They're only going to heighten.

They get worse. When you're with somebody that's great, you should be surprised at like how great they are and how much more they do than you expected. Not like making little consolations of, no, it's fine that they actually are not great. No. Because it just gets worse. No one gets better. They just get worse. Most times a tiger does not change their stripes. So true. I love that quote by Elton John.

Is that Elton John? No, I have no idea. Literally no clue. Why am I so gullible? Why? Why? I don't know. Elton John said a lot of things. He's brilliant. I got another pipe in from my dad over there. Okay, it was Oprah. That could be more believable. But on that note, until next time. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for having me, guys. Bye. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo, and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details.