13: Animals.. What Did We Do to Deserve Them? 59:05

State Farm and DJ Dramos from Life as a Gringo, no making smarter financial moves today secures a financial freedom for a successful tomorrow. Now we have a level of privilege that our parents never had. So what do we do with it, right? How do we utilize the opportunities that we have that they don't, right? And a lot of that is educating ourselves, educating ourselves on how to not make the same mistakes they did. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm, proud sponsor of My Cultura Podcast Network.

Like this show and want to make your own? Let me tell you about Anchor. It's the site that I use for my podcast, and best part, it's free. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer. And Anchor will even distribute the podcast for you, so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and many more. It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started.

I think we all are dealing with enough heavy shit in the world and I think we just need light-hearted, happy episodes, which is why we're here on another episode of Two Hot Takes. Exactly. I'm your host Morgan. And I'm Lauren. And we're coming at you with an animals episode today. Which I cannot wait for. I hope it's good. I hope it's good. It's good. The stories are super...

They're dramatic, but they're also lighthearted and kind of like a what the hell. Okay. Well, I have an animal one that I literally can't wait to share because it makes my heart... I don't even know how to explain. You'll understand when we get there. Okay. Well, let's dive in. Okay. Let's do it. So animals.

What did we do to deserve them? I have no idea. I don't either. They're incredible. Having an animal has been proven to increase your life, decrease blood pressure. Like having an animal is physically, mentally good for you. And despite that, they cause a lot of drama. So today's episode, animals.

I decided, speaking of causing drama, I decided that anyone who hates cats, I don't fuck with. I don't fully trust. Like, I understand if you're just like, they're not my preference. Yeah. Some people haven't had a good experience. But if you tell me that you genuinely hate cats, I don't trust you. I think you cannot be

Be a cat person. Exactly. But not hate them. Yeah. I think if you like physically hate cats with a burning passion, like who hurt you? Yeah. Just like animals in general. Like I get like all hunters terrified of butterflies. Yeah.

weird to me. I think they're cute. So random. But yet I realized I really don't like frogs. So that one's kind of weird. I think it was growing up in Minnesota and I don't like cockroaches. Yeah, well, that's kind of a normal one. Sorry, I cut you off. But I think it's from growing up in Minnesota and accidentally stepping on them in the summer. Oh,

Oh, that would be tough. Yeah, it just traumatized me. So I don't like frogs. So I get it, like the little slimy... But some people have frogs as pets, so I don't know. To each their own. True, true, true. To each their own. And then any of the listeners, it's not that serious if you've made a comment that you hate cats. I have friends still that have said that. But Lauren will still like you. But I'm just saying it's...

if people like genuinely hate an animal, like jet, like especially like one that is known to be a companion. Uh,

Yes, but cats can be a little buck wild. They can be absolute assholes. Like, I'm not going to lie. Fucking dogs, though. I've seen... Yeah, but cats more often. And, like, I've seen the biggest, like, entitled cats, like, ever. They just do whatever the fuck they want. So I'm not, like, I don't... I'm not, like, this blows my mind that people don't like cats. But, however, I just... To, like, genuinely hate, that's...

I don't know. And you just haven't met the right cat yet. That's the thing. They're just more picky. They are very selective with who they like. Yeah, exactly. And I always say to people who say they hate cats, this is my main motto. You don't hate cats. Cats hate you. Because if cats didn't hate you, there's no way that you could possibly hate them. Drops mic. Where did you get that one? God.

Chicken soup for the cat lover's soul. No, it just came to me like it's probably a phrase somewhere else. But like I genuinely came up with it by myself. Well, let's just start off with a cat story. Okay, let's do it. Am I the asshole for feeding earwax to my cat? Yes. Yes. Weird. The overall vote on this one is not the asshole.

I don't like that. I mean, unless there's good benefits to it that I don't know about, then yeah, of course, that's fine. Cures your cat's cancer. Yeah, then of course. But like, I've never heard of that. So it's weird to me. Well, let's see what their reasoning is. I know the title is gross, but bear with me. My cat loves earwax more than anything in this world.

At first, I was perplexed when she kept stealing my roommate's earplugs, earbuds, Q-tips out of the garbage bin, etc. While trying to get to the bottom of why she kept stealing these things, I found out that some cats are naturally attracted to the scent of earwax because it contains an animal protein that is part of their diet. Interesting.

would have known that is crazy that's kind of cool I love when we get to learn things learn something new every day wow

I thought it was gross, but also kind of hilarious. To test my knowledge, I stuck my finger in my ear to see if that would get my cat to react the way she does to the other ear objects. She wrapped her front paws around my finger to hold it in place and licked all the earwax she possibly could. I'd never seen her licking something like this. Oh, my God. How much earwax does this person have? I don't know. I don't usually have that much. Okay.

I mean, I've seen some crazy TikToks with those ear cleaning kits. Oh, God. I want to do that so badly. Every time I see it, it makes me like, I need to do it. Like when I watch it, I'm like, oh, my God, that's in me. Like I need to get it out. Like that looks so satisfying. Or if you see the little camera, like the ear, nose and throat doctors, they have little cameras that go in and you can see all the wax like hanging on your canals. So satisfying. I'm like, get that shit out of me. God, no.

Wow. Soon, earwax mostly became a replacement for cat treats. It was healthier, easier to access, completely free, and she seems to prefer it over her store-bought treats anyways. Has she... She's looked into this, though? She knows that it's safe? Yeah. I mean, we could fact check. Yeah. But, I mean, it seems like they've...

OP has kind of done their research. Note, I only replace the treats which she gets as a reward occasionally. She still eats cat food for her meals. I've also told my vet and she thought it was amusing and didn't see any problems with it.

Fast forward to now. My aunt is staying over for a couple days. I thought she was out of the room, so I stuck my finger in my ear and let my cat have a go as a reward for behaving so well with a stranger in the house. As usual, she licks until my poor fingertips are sore from her sandpaper tongue. I turn around and notice my aunt standing in the door, horrified. Why does that feel like a movie? This is like some meet the parents moment. Yeah.

Jinxy pooping on the toilet. Like I just visualized that so perfect with the aunt just like jaw drop in the door. Yeah. Zoned out like what the hell is going on? I tried to explain but she didn't want to hear it. And here's where I think I may be the asshole.

She told me that was absolutely disgusting and that I shouldn't, quote, trick my cat into eating gross things because she doesn't know any better. She texted my mom, who called me and allowed me to explain. But even still, my mom said, don't do gross stuff like that in front of other people. Reddit, am I the asshole for feeding my cat earwax?

I mean, no. As long as it's not bad for the cat, then absolutely not. She's not tricking the cat. The cat literally told her this is what I want by going through the garbage can. Is there a picture of it? Yeah. So when you post stories related to your pet, you're supposed to pay what's called a pet tax. So...

It means like you basically, in order for people to engage or their reward for engaging with your post is they need to see your pet. So it's like my dog ate a pair of Gucci shoes. Yeah. Am I the asshole for not replacing them? Yes. In that case, you would be because they're Gucci. But you're expected to. I remember that story. We didn't do that online, but we talked about it. And I was like. It's coming, folks. It's coming. But you're expected to pay a pet tax. So the person attached a picture of the cat.

licking the stuff off their finger. It's pretty cute. I mean, the cat has her little hands. The cat has its little mittens with white paws just wrapped around. It's actually really cute. It's pretty cute. I actually had a cat that...

We found somewhere. I don't remember if it was in my barn. I feel like it was in my barn at my farm. And the mom ran off or the cats were freezing to death. So we took the kittens in. And this cat, because it was, you know, it lost its mom so young, it liked to suck on your finger. And it was just the cutest little thing. It would wrap its, like in the same way, it would wrap its little paws around your finger and just sit there and sucking. And it literally made like the...

Like, sucky noise like a baby would on a bottle. Cute.

cutest fucking thing. I love when cats like or I love when people call like when cats are kneading and they're like doing that with their when the people call it making the dough. Yeah. Yeah. The biscuit factory like so cute. I do. Yeah. I've had some great cats. I do enjoy cats. Wait, pause. I actually want to bring this up because I'm going to look for what it's called. Five minutes later. This TikTok is called Mr. Milo. Mr. Milo the chunk. And

Literally, like you guys got to follow it if you're entertained by cats at all. Mr. Milo Machunk. Why am I picturing the cat from one of those Adam Sandler movies? His name was Meatball. He was the calendar cat that was absolutely massive. That's the cat I'm picturing right now. Oh my God. Let's see. So basically like, here I'll show you. Oh yeah.

yeah he's a chunky boy no it's it's the funniest thing ever because this just reminds me of this like cats can be so particular again like i feel like i notice more particular cats than dogs being particular about like what they eat so this cat is obsessed with water bottles like it needs to have oh you've seen this yeah he tastes test all the fancy waters yeah he absolutely hates dasani yeah

Which makes sense because they add salt in there to make you super thirsty. He goes through you guys and he sniffs. He's a bougie bitch. He literally sniffs each one of them and then he goes and he drinks only the two most expensive. Then when she does just like the two most expensive another time, he goes back and forth, sniffs them, thinks about it, and then does the most expensive.

And then he'll push the waters away that suck, like knock them over. And she does this with other things too. Like she did this with grass fed chicken versus like another type of like cheap chickens. And he goes and sniffs both of them and literally only eats the grass fed. And it's not like he eats that first and then goes back. Nope. He won't even look at it. And then she'll put it by his foot and he's like disgusted by it and pushes it away. Like get this. I'm

Fuck away from me. This is the cat version of Ratatouille.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of like me in a store. You could put two pairs of shoes in front of me. They'd look identical and I would pick the most expensive one. I have the most expensive taste at my own demise. Yeah. Because I'm broke ass bitch. But it's so funny. I'm the opposite. I only buy cheap stuff though. I'm thrifty. I only buy stuff like I'm literally thrifty. Forever 21, Zara sale rack. Like that's my vibe right now based on my bank account. Yeah.

So for anyone who doesn't know, I don't know if Morgan has mentioned this in another episode with one of our other friends, but she is so crafty. It's insane. Like she can take anything and make it into something like her entire room is just like crafts that she's done to create her room to look so cool, which is which is I love that aspect. And it's funny because

I didn't know that that was actually a Pisces attribute, but it actually is, and she's a Pisces. Interesting. Yeah, which was so funny to me. But, I mean, unrelated, whether it has anything to do with when you were born or not, you definitely are so... I know how to work tools. Yeah. Oh, she's so crafty. It's crazy. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Shout out to you. Well, you know, to each their own. Cats like expensive water. Cats like earwax. Yeah.

You just let the cats live, man. Morgan likes expensive shoes. Morgan can't buy the expensive shoes. Unfortunately, someday. Up next, am I the asshole for inconveniencing my sister by not letting her lost dog in my car to drive back home?

My sister and her family have a couple dogs, and last week they lost one. They're golden retriever Cairo. He just disappeared one afternoon, and they weren't sure what happened to him. Tried looking around the neighborhood, but he was nowhere to be seen. Anyways, I was on my way back home from the gym yesterday when I saw a dog that looked like Cairo next to this bench with a guy. I got out and called for him, and he came running almost immediately. A bit dirty, but otherwise still his good old self.

Ask the guy if it was his dog and he said he just found him here. Strange thing is that he didn't have his collar, but it was definitely him. To make triple sure, I took a picture of him and sent it to my sister, who also confirmed that this was Cairo, and asked me to take him to her house for her. The only problem with that is that I have a rather strict no dog policy in my car.

I'm not okay right now. I'm so upset. I'm so upset. Is she serious? Oh my God. I'm dying. Is she serious? Apparently. This is hurting my heart right now. Yeah. Is this the end or what else you got? I only... So they're talking about the car here. I only got it last year and I had nothing at all to try to cover the seats to avoid them getting dirty.

So I told my sister I couldn't, but said I'd wait for her or her husband there with Cairo. Okay, that's better. Until they came. I thought she was just going to be like, found him, drive away. Yeah. Oh, God. Okay, I'm not, I'm calm. I'm more calm now, but still. It's ridiculous, but go on. She really didn't like that plan and kept asking me to just take him to their house since they're both at work. I said I didn't mind waiting a bit, and the call ended.

Five minutes later, she called again, asking if I was still there or if I dropped him off. Said no. And she hung up.

Then, after 15 minutes, she came, picked him up, and left without saying a single word to me. Late last night, I guess, she finally boiled over and called to complain about what a shitty guy I am for making her leave work. Why do I keep thinking it's a different gender? I'm picturing a girl. Okay, so this is a guy. It's a dude. It just helps when I'm painting a picture and then all of a sudden I get the wrong gender and I'm like... I mean, there's non-binary people too, though. That's true. But, like, I want to know what...

what they want to go by. You just like having a mental image. I just like, yeah, like, you don't have to, like, picture as much as I can. Yeah. Yeah.

So, late last night, I guess she finally boiled over and called to complain about what a shitty guy I am for making her leave work to get Cairo when I could have just dropped him off, causing a big inconvenience for no reason. I honestly didn't mind waiting for however long until either of them came, but Cairo in my car was a definite no. Damn. Am I the asshole? I mean, I personally think that...

Yeah, but like I also don't think that she's that – or sorry, he. God damn it. I also don't think that he's that big of an asshole. Like, okay, he waited. Like I thought that if he – I thought he left and was just like, I found the location. Go get him. Here, I dropped a pin, bitch. Come get your dog. Yeah, literally. Then I was just going to be like, I'm sickened. But at least he waited. Even though it's just – it's so snobby in my opinion. It's like – Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's an inconvenience for sure. But also he found the dog and they should be really grateful and really happy. Yeah. So get excited that your dog is found. Exactly. Also, we don't know what kind of car this is. I'm a car junkie. I love cars. So, I mean, if this was a brand new Audi R8. Yeah. I'm sorry. Like, I wouldn't put a... Like, this dog has been on the streets. Right. And he was with some random man. Yeah. Without a collar. Dirty. Like... Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I wouldn't put this dog in my $150,000 car. Yeah. So, granted, we don't know what this person's driving. Yeah. But new car. They worked hard for it. Yeah. I'm assuming. Like, cars are fucking expensive. If they don't have anything to cover the seats, like, eh. But at the end of the day, could have put the dog in the car, then washed the seats. Yeah. But I also, like, I think that my mind got kind of, like, caught up, too, because I peeked over at the thing. Yeah.

And I saw that it said that the person was labeled an asshole. So I think that I was just like, yeah. They were. The overall vote on this was you're the asshole. But like I don't think that they're that big of an asshole because when you were telling the story and I peeked over and saw the asshole rating, I was thinking that like they literally just left the dog and that made me so upset. That would be terrible. That would be terrible. That would be inexcusable. But he waited. And so it's just like, yeah, he's being a snob and it's inconvenient, but it's like –

it's so exciting that the dog is found. And it's like, if that were me, I'd be a little bit irritated, but I would still just be like, this is my dog, my responsibility. Like you're doing a favor by waiting there. So yes, I would love if like, as my sibling, you would just kind of like,

help me out a little bit more but like at the end of the day you found my dog I'm very grateful you are taking your time to wait there with my dog so I I mean it's a boundary they've firmly set yeah and so I think I think it's more of like a petty annoyance like instead of like her being like you're an evil person I keep saying evil I don't know why like I keep on saying evil to be like they're not evil but um

But I don't think that she should think that he's really that awful. But like, yes, like she could. She's ever read to be like, hey, like, why couldn't you just like kind of help me out? Bring my dog home. I'm at work. Yeah. Yeah. Especially depending on, you know, how far they had to drive. Yeah. Top comment. You're the asshole. Your sister's dog was missing and you wouldn't even bring him back to her. Oh, mind your precious car. There is such a thing as soap and water to clean the car.

Next comment. If I were the sister, I would just be super thankful my dog was found safely. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Seriously. I mean, your dog could have got hit by a car, could be dead, could be stolen. You found your dog. That's why I'm like, it's more of a petty annoyance, not something that should be that big of a deal. No. I mean, I...

If it was my dog, I would be like, just wait there. Like, I'd want to get to my dog as soon as possible. Right, exactly. Like, leaving work wouldn't even be an inconvenience because I would want my dog back. Exactly, same. Like, my dog used to run away all the time and go to Dairy Queen for treats. So, yeah. Smart dog. Yeah.

Chunky little boy. But, yeah, I mean, you're worried. You want your dog back. So, yeah. I don't really think the asshole... I kind of disagree with the overhaul vote. Yeah. I think sister took it a little too aggressively. Yeah. Yeah. Are you torn? No. I really don't think that he's an asshole because it's just like he...

If he left the dog, he would be done in my book. But like he didn't leave the dog. And it's just like, yeah, he it's kind of like for me, I can't see myself doing that same.

Same thing. But I also have a Toyota Corolla and I'm not like very worried. So it's different. Like if I spend my hard earned money and I'm just like, that's my policy, then yeah, I probably would have a different view. And it's not like he waited. He said he didn't mind waiting. Like, I don't know. I think he would have probably waited all day. Yeah, I think he's fine. I think that it was just like it's like a petty annoyance. Like I understand why the sister's annoyed, but like also not something that needs to be like drawn out in my opinion at all.

No, I would let that one go for sure. It's a happy ending at the end of the day. Exactly. You can. Yeah. Move on. Yeah. Next one. Hey there. It's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes, Gillette Razors,

Metamucil, Crest Toothpaste, Secret Body Spray, and a Swiffer Power Mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Very interesting.

There's kind of a lot going on these days with like emotional support animals versus service animals and, you know, new rules that you can't bring your emotional support duck on a plane and things like that. Duck? Oh yeah. People have emotional support ducks. I thought you just misspoke. No ducks. Um,

Amazing. Haven't you seen the picture of the duck on the plane looking out the window? No. It's adorable. I can't believe I have not seen that. So this one. Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to let a patient bring in her emotional support horse? That sounds like a cartoon. It is real. And based on the title, asshole. I love little ponies. I work as a receptionist for a doctor's office. A few weeks ago, a patient came into the office with a small horse. Okay.

I wish this happened to me in the hospital. I was completely bewildered. I feel like my whole day, year, life would be made. I was completely bewildered, particularly because the office is on the fourth floor and told the patient respectively that they cannot bring the horse into the office. The patient told me that it was an emotional support horse. That feels like a fucking prank. I can't. It almost doesn't seem real. It's so weird.

I almost thought they were joking, and I told them that the doctor will not see them if they have a horse. The argument goes on for maybe another minute before the patient leaves in a huff. I never consulted the doctor while this was happening, but I have been there for a few years, and I know her well enough to know she would have thought the whole thing was ridiculous. When she came out of her office later, I told her what happened, and we shared a bit of a laugh about it. But it sounds like this lady was in the office already, right?

So does it mean that the horse was in there already too? Huh. I wonder if it took the elevator or the stairs. I can't like both of them just. Horses can go upstairs. I know, but like both images just make me laugh. I brought my horse into my house once. The minute he walked in, he took a big shit on the floor. He's like, I don't like this place. No, my mom was so mad at me too.

Fast forward to yesterday when we are informed that the office is being sued for discriminating against a woman with an emotional support animal. That's hilarious, but ridiculous.

Apparently the horse was a legitimate emotional support horse. I feel slightly bad for the patient, but worse for the physician who finances the clinic and could get really hurt here financially. The physician and my husband both keep insisting it's not my fault, but I feel terrible. I get the feeling they're both just trying to be nice. So I am turning to anonymous strangers to tell me the truth about whether I was in the wrong here. Yes. Me, I think she was totally in the wrong.

No way. I think she's the asshole. No way. Yeah. So there is a difference, you know, between an emotional support animal and a service animal. There's so many different laws, regulations. We have what's called the ADA in America, the Americans with Disabilities Act. So that kind of stipulates certain, you know, laws and regulations in regards to individuals with disabilities. Yeah.

There's other titles, like so, so fucking confusing. There's so much legal jargon and, you know, all this, you know, bullshit that goes into it. But service animals are dogs, dogs that have jobs and are trained for specific functions. However, there is a certain clause that mentions miniature horses. So miniature horses can also be service animals based on some qualifications, right?

Although sometimes not recognized by ADA, the big like umbrella law. So it's so confusing, but miniature horses can be like guide ponies for blind individuals. Yeah.

And I mean, like, they're so fucking cute. You guys, like, if you saw, like, literally Google miniature horse blind, just do that and you'll find it. But they have these fucking cute little booties. They're so fucking cute. So if I saw one of these, I'd be like, yeah, bring it in. Can I hold the horse while you're seeing the doctor? Like, I would fucking cuddle that thing. Like, bring the fucking horse. Like, you're the asshole. But here's the thing, Morgan, is that, like, I agree. Like, I agree that with all of that knowledge...

She should be able to have her horse and her emotional support animal. I totally agree with that. But, like, at the same time, this person didn't know better. Like, I would be so shook. Like, I wouldn't... I just wouldn't know what to do. Would the person have let a dog come in? But that's... They're kind of the same size. Right. But, like, we as a community, like, we're used to that. Like...

The reason I'm laughing, the reason we're laughing, the reason you're like, I wish that would happen to me is because it doesn't happen often. No. And so it's just – it's something that like – Not as common. Not everyone is going to know how to handle it and they're just trying to do the right thing. She's just working like a random job and she just is trying to do the right thing. And so I think that like to get the backlash of getting sued, that sucks. I mean that's what – I mean –

doctors have insurance malpractice insurance like still the doctors rates go up like it's just it's not good like it's not and so I just think you should have as an employee you should have like been like hey do you have papers for the horse can you please send me the certificate I'm just putting myself in that in those shoes like I don't think I would have known what to do you know what I mean like I just let the horse come in you love it well I know that I would but I'm just saying that like if I wasn't me I don't like I don't think that that's

I don't think that she's an asshole. Like, I think she was just trying to do the right thing. A biased horse gal. Right, but, like, if she knew about that clause, like, that little clause, then she wouldn't have done that. She probably didn't know. I don't think I ever got to it. So, like, there is a difference between...

a service animal and an emotional support animal. Like I said, service animals have the jobs. So there's a lot that's going on like with airlines now. They don't have to accommodate you for an emotional support animal. Like too many people abused it. See, that's exactly why I'm saying like it seems like a joke because people like I've been in a fucking club before with a chihuahua that like had like, I don't know, like

Ray-Bans on and like some like blinged out outfit with some like expensive ass like dog shoes. That was it was wearing like all Gucci. And anyway, I was obsessed with that. Yeah. And I was like obsessed with the dog, of course. And then and like.

this this the kid who has the dog is just like a little fucker you can just tell i mean obviously i don't know but like he just seems like a little fucker and um the one of like the bodyguards or a security comes over and was like hey what are you doing with that dog in here and then the guy just goes he's an emotional support animal so back off and the security guard was like so mad but he just backed off like you can't do anything yes people have like abused this like this aspect of like because well it was easier to like

Not everyone abused it. Of course. Of course not. It's very important. Like you've said before, animals are seriously like so helpful in mental health. Yeah, they are. And so it's a real thing. And so it's just like obviously just with like a lot of other things like Adderall, like people abuse that when they don't actually have ADD. People abuse anything. They abuse anything. So it's like it's just – it gets hard. But like I can understand like how you would almost think like –

You're getting your leg pulled when someone comes in with a horse. Yeah. Like you think someone's just messing with you. It's not, you know, your average. Yeah. Your average day. Yeah. And I truly think the way that she's writing and the way that, I mean, obviously I don't know her. She feels remorseful. Yeah. She feels remorse. It's not what she wanted. She just thought she was doing the right thing. And so I don't think she's an asshole. I do think that if she knew this clause and knew that this was the thing, like, and then she just didn't care, then she'd be an asshole. But I think she just didn't know.

Yeah. You're like, I don't care. Fuck her. I love horses. Well, I'm also staring at this huge horse painting in Morgan's room right now, just for reference. My boyfriend got it for me for a birthday surprise. I helped him set it up. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I absolutely love it. I don't know. I think, you know, I might have a little bit different of a background. One, you know, coming from healthcare and mental health settings and seeing different support animals and service animals and things like that. Um,

I spent some time at the Braille Institute here in Los Angeles, like really familiarizing myself with like service animals and guide dogs and stuff like that. So I know that miniature horses can be guide ponies too. So I think having that knowledge, obviously this person was coolest. Yeah. Who the fuck sees a guide horse? Like I, I haven't seen one in person. Yeah. I did have one emotional support horse while working at a hospital here in Los Angeles and

He came in and like visited patients and was like a therapy horse. Cutest little dude. Oh my God. So I'm familiar with it, but the average person, obviously not so much. So... I get it. You can let this slide. She's not, again, a terrible person, but...

Just like do a little more research and let the pony come in. Well, now we know. Now anyone who's listening to this, we just saved them from getting sued potentially. Yeah. Top comment. Not the asshole. Maybe I'm an asshole for saying this, but choosing a horse as your emotional support animal screams, quote, I'm trying to find a business that denies us so I can sue for discrimination. Ooh.

I don't think that's the case. I know. But like, honestly, because of the fact that I used to work at ADP and the amount of stories that I've heard about situations where companies have been sued because an employee just literally reads through the handbook and they know that this company doesn't have HR put in place.

It's like insane. For example, this is a really good example. So this is a true story too. There was a couple that hired someone to walk their dogs. Or like I think they might have had like a dog walking service. But like it got so big that they needed to have help. So anyway, they put out like an ad, whatever. Like this person knew that they were vulnerable because they didn't have all their HR intact. So basically –

Oh, no. Yeah. So basically they hired her to dog walk and like they didn't have like a good description in place. They didn't have her like sign anything or like whatever it was. Basically, when she maybe she signed some stuff, but it wasn't enough. Whenever she got the job, she said, I'm allergic and I can't walk dogs. And they said, that's why we hired you. And for whatever reason it was, they weren't able to fire her because

A lawful discrimination. Exactly. And so she would be able to sue them. And they did like a background check on her and found that she like sued like multiple different companies before. And she won. She won. And so they just... Just make her a secretary and call it a day. Yeah. And that's what they did. They had to create a new job for her to be a secretary so that they didn't get sued by her. And so it's just...

I told that's suing in America. Like if you're, if you're in another country, I think you kind of laugh at how sue happy Americans are like, yeah, we sue everyone for anything. And you know, some are serious, some are frivolous. Right. Um, I mean me and Justin were in, I think Denmark and we were at this amusement park and, um,

There was like a big gap between a railing. And we were like joking. We're like, this wouldn't happen at Disneyland because they'd get sued. Yeah. But it's just not like that. Yeah. You know, we're very... Alejandra like has this story that I'm sure she would share. So I don't mind sharing it. But basically she was driving like a long time ago. Yeah.

And you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. There was a biker that like, I don't know. She actually like hit the biker. She like maybe like tap the end of the wheel. Regardless, the biker like. She gave her a little bump. She gave her a little bump and the biker fell off and like all hundred came out and was freaking out and was like, how can I like, what can I do to like help and like everything? And she was like, and everyone's surrounding and she's like, she was for it. Like she was from like Europe or something. And she's like, I'm fine.

fine. You Americans. You Americans are so quick to sue and so quick to whatever. And she's like, I'm fine. Calm down. But yeah, I don't know. I think that...

That's not like a crazy thing. It's probably not the case, but you don't know that. I've heard so many stories of that being the case. People are literally, they look to sue because they read the clauses and they know what they can do and they know that they can trick people. For sure. I don't think that's the case. That's why ADP sold so well because we're like, you don't want to get sued? Here, take our HR. You quit there. We're not plugging. I know. Yeah.

Still in my veins. Another comment. So they go, I thought that too. So if you're an asshole, so am I. I'm not even sure if horses can be easily trained to not poop everywhere. And if they can be, it's not common knowledge. They have little poop bags, people that just strap on. Okay. Next comment. They can actually. Many horses are fairly common support animals. Mm-hmm.

And the next comment. I've literally run into a person with an emotional support horse at a grocery store before. Yeah. Emotional support horses and guide ponies are real people. I'm down for it. And I love this idea. And I love this concept. And I love that it's a thing. I'm just saying that like to get sued, like when really she didn't know any better. It's like.

That's a bit much for me. Yeah. Yeah. And then the next comment that I really like, mini horses are sometimes used as service animal. I'm glad you liked that one. Yes. But again, this woman, based on the post, introduced her little pony as an emotional support animal. So if it was a service animal, then big problem. But...

A lot of the guidelines with ESAs these days are, it's tough. Yeah. Tough world to navigate. Yeah. Literally, figuratively, all that jazz. Okay, this one. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better, even when it's impossible to take time for them. Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on.

And before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself, when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?

BetterHelp Online Therapy makes it easy to get started. With affordable phone, video, or live chat sessions you can do from anywhere. And the option to message your therapist between sessions if anything comes up. Never skip therapy day. With BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com. Oh, I thought I was going to get to read mine. I have one more, and then you can have your shot in the limelight. I know. I'm so excited.

I, 19 female, killed a guy's 21 male pet by mistake. Okay, this is really bad. But basically, I went over to this guy's house. We had been speaking for a few months and were planning on going on a date. So he goes to have a shower and I'm sitting on the sofa waiting. The next thing I know, a massive tarantula is crawling across the carpet in front of my feet.

I'm startled because I have the biggest fear of spiders. And I'm kind of freaking out, but I gain the courage to throw one of my sneakers at it, killing it. The guy comes out the bathroom, looks at the dead spider, and starts having an anxiety attack or something. And at first, I was like, it's fine. I killed it. And he starts going off at me because the spider was actually his pet, and it got out of its tank somehow. Mm-hmm.

I'm confused and embarrassed, and he ended up kicking me out. I genuinely liked this guy. We had the best conversations, and now he's not talking to me. Someone please help me fix it. I apologized, but he's continuously ignoring me. I feel really bad. This was at how many dates? Like this is just like a new nuke type of... Yeah, it doesn't mention, but... I... It's...

I can't really relate because I can't imagine being so attached to a tarantula. Spiders apparently are like some of the best pets. I know. And that's why I'm saying like, I feel for him so much because I feel so sad. Like, I'm just saying like, I, it's hard for me. Like, it's not even, it's not even like that it's hard for me. I just, I don't relate completely to like,

the detachment to a spider. Imagine it's your dog. Exactly. Because at the end of the day for him, like this is his pet. So it would be like someone killing your cat. Right. Or someone killing your dog. Right. At the end of the day, it's like this is his pet. Right. As you know, that's yeah. That's exactly why like it broke my heart because like I...

It's just like I don't have like I've never had an attachment. I've never been like introduced to a spider in a way that like I'm like, oh, my God, like this is a pet to me. But like I know that they are and I know that people have those attachments and like really good like.

with tarantulas. I know that they're actually pretty fucking cool. So it breaks my heart for him because I can't imagine if you have a pet that you absolutely loved and just seeing that it's dead. Because of someone that you're talking to, that would just break my fucking heart. So I feel for him so much and honestly...

I don't know if you can recover from that. I don't think you can. Yeah. I don't think you can. And it's not like she's a horrible person. It was an accident. It was an accident. You didn't know he had a pet spider. Yeah. It was out walking across the floor. Like,

I guess, first of all... But it doesn't matter. He's still traumatized. Yeah. So it's just like, I think you just need to move on from this. Say your biggest sorrows and everything. Send him a Venmo for a new spider, which doesn't make it any better. That would almost be worse. If someone sent me like 30... Because you can adopt a cat for like 30 bucks. If someone was like, here's a new... Okay. That would be a slap in the face. Yeah, that's fucked up. They give away cats sometimes. Yeah. No, I...

They do because otherwise they end up on high school anatomy tables. That's why I'm just saying if someone was just like, hey, I'm sorry about your cat and Venmo me. Because when I adopted my cat in college, she was literally $30. If someone was like, hey, sorry about Sunny. Here's $30. I would literally be like, fuck you. You're dead to me. No, and I don't know. There isn't a way to really remedy this situation. I think it's kind of...

Well, you're doomed. It's so interesting that you bring this up, though, because I was with one of my friends on Friday night and she she adopted a dog recently. One of her friends just got a baby puppy. So she's talking about like the dog chronicles. And she said when she was over at her place, she said, like, could you grab my dog's medication in my purse and and feed it to her?

This is a puppy. Anyway, there was like an envelope underneath the purse that had a pill in it. She gave the dog drugs. She gave the dog Adderall. Adderall. It was like 25 milligrams of Adderall. The dog needed to go to the emergency room immediately. Like they were saying like it's a miracle that this dog is alive. Yeah, it probably could have had seizures. Oh, its heart rate was like insane. Like it was so scary. And so and she just said. Don't ever like when it comes to your animal, take care of your animal. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's like, obviously, like my friend who that happened to, like she was, it was so...

she was terrified and like felt fucking horrible. But she was the one that fed the dog. She fed her friend's dog the pill because she was like, can you give my dog the medication? It's in my purse. Her friend shouldn't have asked her to do that. Yeah. But like, but no matter if your friend asked you to do it or not, like you feel so much guilt. So like, thank God the dog lived because that would be so hard. But now the vet bill. Who's going to pay for the vet bill? I don't know. I didn't ask her. But the friend might be like, hey, you fed my dog the wrong pill.

uh can you give me three thousand dollars that's that would be emergency visits and for something like that question i didn't even ask her that thousands what what would like do you think it would be fair to ask the friend to like help out or do you think it would just be like no i i personally like me in that situation i'd be like no i'm not comfortable doing that like it's your dog you give your dog the medication yeah so i just i think it's weird one as a pet owner you would

I think I've mentioned this before, but it really, really, really, really, really pisses me off when you as a pet owner try to pass off your obligations as a caretaker of that animal on other people. To your dog, your cat, your tarantula, your whatever. Yeah. Fucking parakeet. Take care of it. Like, it's not anyone's responsibility. So at the end of the day, it's like she should have given the dog the medication, but

I don't know. Like some people might see, it seems like an easy thing. It's such an easy mistake. Like it is. And I just think she had another pill in her purse, you know, for the dog. Like she thought it was obvious. She didn't even, she probably forgot there was an Adderall underneath the purse, like in an envelope. Yeah. Well, I mean, this is, I think this is kind of similar to like, you have a friend that had a dog and you guys went to another friend's house that had a dog and her dog got into something and,

And got really sick. And she took it to the emergency vet. And that dog ended up having a crazy expensive bill. And she didn't reach out to that friend and was like, hey, my dog got into something at your house. Send me the $3,000. It's just tough. But at the end of the day, like, she didn't reach out and ask, you know, your friend for money. Right. And I think, you know, I've seen other stories. Like, if your dog attacks another dog, like, yeah, you should pay for that other dog's bill. Yeah, of course. But I don't know. I think this one...

I don't think this girl is going to be able to come back from this. I don't know how expensive tarantulas are, but, like, I would try to remedy the situation. But that's just me. But, again, it could be offensive. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, his pet's dead. Yeah. And you kind of just need to...

Move on. Yeah. I just think that like even if he's like yeah I'll give you a second chance he's just gonna look at her and just like cringe. Yeah. Because it's like she still killed his pet at the end of the day. Yeah. So I would just let this one go. It's not like you guys got in too deep. Like if he decides to reach back out like great like you guys can take it from there but like I wouldn't push it. This is just a delicate situation. It's just unfortunate. It's not like you guys have been together for a really long time. Like you guys are just dating and you liked him and yeah it sucks but like

If he's not down, you have to respect that. Yeah. One of the top comments, not entirely your fault. He should have probably told you he owned a pet spider. Why would he not say that? Let's run on the loose. Like, why would he not say that? It got out of its cage. Oh, yeah. But still, that was probably his friend, not just a pet.

props loved the little guy yeah hell might have even been a big reason for him to get out of bed in the morning with how this year has been your best option is to just stop trying to contact him at all i agree if he wants to ever talk to you again he'll be the one to initiate it yeah next comment good story for the kids though next comment not their kids though yeah yeah okay is that the last one

That is the last one I have, so your turn. Okay, cool. Let me grab this one. I'm just going to get comfy here. I found a post that I thought would be pretty... I'm literally so fucking cozy. Maybe I should do this more often. Pretty relevant to the animal theme. So, caption. I accidentally trained my cat to be an eating disorder support pet. Okay, so...

I'm feeling guilty today. I've had this cat for three years now. My ED got significantly worse about two and a half years ago. ED meaning eating disorder. Yeah.

At first, I didn't even realize what she was doing. I had a problem with purging for a long time. She would get between me and the toilet demanding attention and fuss while I cried. She would sniff my face and lick it, making it impossible to purge. If I locked her out of the bathroom, she would meow so loudly that I'm sure the neighbors heard. I finally managed to stop purging last year after recovering and relapsing a few times. The lockdowns have been really difficult and not being able to go to the gym hasn't helped.

A couple of months ago, my cat stopped eating. She got so skinny, she was really underweight. Vets couldn't find anything wrong. I hadn't changed her food. There was no reason for it. I'm not sure how it happened. One day, I decided to have breakfast too. So I sat down with my food and put her bowl next to me, and she finally ate. I did the same at lunchtime, and again, she actually ate. The same the next day and the next.

We've been doing it for a while now. She's still underweight, but she's getting there. No, I don't want to cry today. I wake up at 7 a.m. every day. We have breakfast at 9 at 930. I need those couple of hours to build up to breakfast.

Aww. She...

I'm getting choked up. We're going to have to find another fucking happy one after this. This is supposed to be a lighthearted episode. She finally ate at lunchtime. I had a sandwich. She kept glancing at me, pausing for me to continue before she would eat more. People say we don't deserve animals. I don't deserve this cat. She's saving my life quite literally. And I don't think anyone appreciates or understands how incredible that is. Wow.

It is also absolutely terrifying. I don't deserve this cat. We don't deserve animals in general. They are such magical little creatures that truly can save us. And they're just everything. So, wow. I think that's the most incredible story. I think it's really one thing that's really, really interesting about cats is they mimic you. So the fact that the cat only eats if she's eating...

Is the cat mimicking her? Like, I've seen a lot of videos where if you're trying to work out or like do yoga or whatever, your cat will always like come under you, like get in your way. But if you get your cat its own little yoga mat and put it next to you, it'll just lie there. Oh.

and mimic you. I've never seen that. That's so cute. Yeah, and I've seen it with everything from computers. If you're sitting at a desk working on your computer, your cat will come up, walk across your keys, just annoy the shit out of you. But if you get your cat, it's on a little mini computer. No way. It'll literally sit there and like work at its fucking computer, like play at it, sit on it, like do what cats do. But cats mimic. Yeah. So that's incredible like to...

I can't even imagine having that struggle and the cat, like she said, is literally saving her. That's the perfect example of an emotional support animal used in an appropriate way. Yeah.

It's just like... It's amazing. It touches... It touched my heart so much. I was about to start crying. And then you're fucking choking up as you're reading it. I'm like, I swear to God, if Lauren cries, I'm gonna lose it. If, like, you don't understand, like, the first time I read it, I was in tears. You were bawling. Yeah. I'm gonna cry now just fucking talking about this shit. But, yeah, I don't know. It's... It's remarkable. I... We truly...

don't deserve animals yeah they're amazing i was just looking at some of the comments they're all just like really loving and caring supportive i love that yeah absolutely love that but it's just like it feels like

I don't know. It just feels like almost like a higher power of like a gift. Like, even though like, you know, you say cats like mimic and like that, like cool, like aspect of it almost feels like it almost feels a bigger picture. There's a bigger, like, just like picture that's like saving her. Like, it just feels so beautiful. I mean, yeah. Like down to a simple matter. Okay. Like cats mimic, but at the end of the day, like this cat, it didn't always do that. Yeah. And she's had it for a couple of years. So it's like, yeah, this cat recognizes that she needs her. I mean, there's dogs,

That do similar things and save their people or save a drowning kid. Whatever it is. Animals, at the end of the day, they're incredible. They do save us. You might want to cut this out because it's a weird story. But I don't know if you've ever heard about the dolphin. The dolphin study. So basically they like...

they not like locked a woman in, but like they've, Oh God, you've told me this. Yeah. Have I told you this through the podcast? She had sex with the dolphin. Yeah. Well, that's what I thought because that's what I was kind of,

uh, told just like a briefly, like in a, a meme type way of a storytelling, like, like this woman, like had relations with a dolphin and had sex with a dolphin. Oh God. But, um, but no, she's, she's a, she's a researcher and like dolphins are the only other, um, I think animals to like get pleasure from sex. Um, it's something like that. And so, um,

Other than, like, humans. And so that's why you hear, like, dolphins have, like, raped humans before or, like, tried to is because they, like... I've heard that before, yeah. Yeah. And so... Scary thought. Right, I know. But, like, they're the best, like, they're the sweetest, kindest. Like, they're so awesome. They save humans all the time. But, like, apparently they're, like, one of the only or if not the only, like, animal that, like, actually enjoys, like, sex. Yeah.

So whenever she was studying this dolphin, they put her and this dolphin in like the same like area. And she like stayed in this place for, I don't know, months on end. Oh, my God. And so it was one of those things where as she was like learning and studying the dolphin, like the dolphin was like looking for like needed like a sexual release in a way. And so she started giving the dolphin hand jobs. Yeah. And like which is like super fucked up. But yeah.

In her mind. How, how, how do you even initiate that? I don't remember. What in your mind makes you think I want to touch this dolphin? I think the dolphin was like, like it was like, I think it was a combination of all of her research that she did. Was she a marine biologist? Yeah. Yeah, she was. And like, cause when I first,

I don't know if it makes it better or worse. I don't know. Like when I first heard the story, like I thought, I thought that it was just so messed up when I read into it. Like it, it still is messed up, but it felt a little less like messed up. It felt like, it felt like she was genuinely doing this to like, to like provide comfort. Yeah. Because the dolphin was alone. Like, and dolphins are used to being together. I don't even, pod.

They live in pots. Yeah, they live in pots. So it was like she was trying to like give this dolphin like what the dolphin would get like in like because it was for months just isolated with her. And that was based off – Anyone goes crazy being isolated. Yeah. Humans, dolphins. Right. And so that was – it was like an isolated study or something like that. Like I might be getting it wrong, but I didn't just read this. It was a long time ago. But anyway, this is why I'm saying you might want to cut it. They took the dolphin after this study and they put the dolphin in like a –

Back with the dolphins? Yes, but like in a zoo. So the dolphin was back with other dolphins, but in a zoo. And the dolphin killed itself. Yeah. The dolphin was so depressed because he became so attached to the woman that that was his companion. Dolphins, they need to come back up for air. So the dolphin drowned itself. And it's insane how much animals can...

Relate to human emotion. Yeah. And just emphasize.

And just empathize. Empathize. Empathize. And attach to humans. Yeah. Like, it's truly insane. And that's why that... Animals have emotions. Yeah. I believe that. They have feelings. They have emotions. You cannot tell me otherwise. Yeah. Crazy, fucked up experiment that they should not have put that dolphin through. I know. Like, there's certain experiments that humans... It was heartbreaking. ...we've done. It was heartbreaking. They just violate so many different laws and moralities, ethics, whatever. But, like, it's hard because we're also trying to learn more about them. We are.

And we don't... And, like, no one predicted that the animal was going to commit suicide. Study them in their natural habitat. It's no different than, like, looking at elephants. And if elephants lose... Again, this is, like, my biggest thing that animals have feelings. Animals are so empathetic, intuitive. Yeah. Just... Elephants are extremely empathetic. Yes. So elephants...

if they've lost a baby or like a loved one, they'll actually bury it. They're the only animal that provides funerals. Yeah. Or one of the only, at least. I don't know. No, I'm pretty sure. I mean, the only. We could fact check. Yeah, exactly. We're kind of like spitting out things that we've read, but like, don't like take us for like 100%. Again, just our hot takes. We're never giving you. We're not experts. No. And we're never giving you like solid advice, instructions. Like this is just us spitting the shit. Yeah. Elephants,

Are very, very emotional. So they'll have funerals and then they also will come back on the anniversary of that death and have like another like little remembrance ceremony. They'll touch the bones and they'll just be there. And it's like, first of all, how do they have that concept of time to go back after, you know, close to a year and...

What animal, like you think of animals being these like survivalistic, you know, beings and just trying to, you know, make it out there. Like, oh, people say dogs, dogs only like you because you feed them. Yeah. No, like dogs are emotional little things full of feelings and love and love.

This is why. I know. And elephants actually save other animals. Oh, I didn't know that. That's crazy. There's a lot of instances where like, I don't know, like a cat stuck in his tree. That was a tongue twister for me. A cat stuck in a tree. Like an elephant will like raise its trunk and like help the cat down. That's so cute. Yeah, like elephants have been known to save other animals.

That's amazing. And dolphins do the exact same. Oh, and they save people too. And save people from shark attacks. That's absolutely crazy. The reasons animals are amazing. Amazing and why we don't serve them. And also, okay, one last thing.

I'm trying to end it. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You can cut it out. You can end it there. But no, one last thing. So dolphins actually – sharks are terrified of dolphins because – That's good to know. Yeah. Sharks are terrified of dolphins because dolphins, because they travel in pods and because they're so fast, what they do – Slam into them. They slam into them. They slam into their gills and they will kill the shark. So like that's why like if –

A shark is about to attack a human like that, like, I don't know, like a surfer that got hurt or something. And dolphins are there. They will circle the shark and the shark just knows like, fuck, I need to get out of here because... I need a dip. Yeah. And it's just crazy because they're like these...

happy little innocent things that and sharks you know we look at as like oh like could be everyone's so scared of sharks but sharks aren't no they're not they're not even that aggressive I went swimming with sharks it was actually really I was scared not as scared as bungee jumping though but here I am I won't go skydiving or do anything like that unless I'm terminal you don't mean that I'm gonna make you go

We needed to do a skydiving trip. I won't do it. You will. No. You would. Not even if there's a little pony at the bottom. What about bungee jumping? You said after I bungee jumped that you would have considered it after you watched me go. Considered, but it's just not, I don't think it's in the cards for me. A stage, you know, a stageable cancer. We'll come back and talk. Okay. Well, on that note. Animals. Animals. Love them. They're amazing.

There are going to be some deep dives and, you know, our typical off-tangent chatter going up on our Patreon and our YouTube membership. So look out for those. And if you're interested, we'll see you there. But otherwise, until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye.

Ryan Reynolds here from Intmobile. With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down.

So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint Mobile, unlimited premium wireless. I bet you get 30, 30, bet you get 30, bet you get 20, 20, 20, bet you get 20, 20, bet you get 15, 15, 15, 15, just 15 bucks a month. Sold! Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes per detail.