Devon Walker Has Friends in Low Places 57:37

You don't know what anyone's doing with the pronouns anymore. I can't even pretend to know. You know, it used to be... Speak on it. What did it used to be? Speak on what it used to be. Hey, back in the day, you used to just... But yeah, I don't know...

Why do you think you got SNL over me? Huh? We auditioned at the same time. We did audition at the exact same time. What did I do wrong? What characters did you do? Stand-up. You did stand-up? I just did stand-up. You did characters? No, I did stand-up as well.

I shouldn't have done the same stand-up set as you. That was a mistake. Yeah, that was the thing. We both went. We did that bit about the cops. Yeah. We both did that bit. How we love them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, shout-out to the people. Yeah, Game of Thrones is different, though, I guess. Big Blue, let's go. Big Blue. Shout-out Big Blue. Love everything y'all doing in the community, man. Keep that up, man. You know what I'm saying?

Keep that up. And we and Caleb both got a joke where we say that exact stuff verbatim on stage. People think you're kidding, but you do love the cops. You fuck with the police in a very serious way. You know what? You know what's funny? No. Tell me what's funny.

Tell me what's funny. No, you know, no, no, no. I don't know. No, I don't like the cops, of course. No, hey, hey. I was trying to think about like my, I was like, what's my actual, you know, my related, like New York City cops feel so much more chill than like, God, like I grew up in Texas. You know this. I do know this. Like cops were so much. Pflugerville.

Shout out Pflugerville. Okay, you did a little... Shout out Pflugerville. You did a little research. Pflugerville slash Austin. Shout out. You did a little research. You think this is a joke to me? No, I... Okay, you are on your Nardwuar type behavior. I see that. My guy got on the Wikipedia. Yeah, the cops in Texas are a little different. They're wearing cowboy hats. The cops in Texas... To me, cops are so much less scary...

When they can't pull you over You know what I'm saying? So like in New York City I'm never driving So like all the cops here are also on their phones You know what I'm saying? They're playing games Yeah, they're truly playing games They feel very distracted So like I don't

I don't feel nearly the same way about New York City cops as I feel about Texas cops, or just Southern cops in general. Because Eric Adams is, like, shutting down libraries so that these guys can play Candy Crush. You know, truly. Yeah. Truly. They're in Central Park just fucking... My boys are just neck down. Neck down, just...

I'm like, y'all can't do an atrocity. You guys can't do something bad. No. New York City police have never really done anything bad. They've always been on the up and up. That's what I always say. Yeah. That's been your big thing. As far as I know. As far as I know. And when I run for mayor, that'll be my platform. I would love for you to run for office. I'd vote. I don't think people want that. Really? I don't know enough about things. I could actually see you being a political figure one day. Stop. I could actually see it.

You know, it's why I went and hung out with Caleb in Kansas City earlier. And this man's the actual, he's like the unofficial mayor of this. Have you ever been to? Oh, yeah. Yeah, and he's like, he knows about all the politicians and all the new bills that are coming in. And he's like, nah, we actually can't trust that guy. He did this last week. And I'm like. Well, you said, are you coming to this party tonight at a known, like, bad billionaire's house? Because that's the kind of people you run with. Yeah.

Which is no offense. I totally get it. But you said you're going to this. I said, no, I probably won't be there. You know what it is. You know what it truly is. And I don't doubt that he was a bad billionaire. But it's like, look, if somebody's going to invite me to a big ass house, I'm going to look at it.

I'm going to go check out the trophy. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to look at it. I'm not going to endorse their politics, but it's just like I'm going to look at their bathroom and see how they're living different than me. Yeah. I want to see what their tub looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are your politics? What are you voting for come November? Hey, you know, I'll be on the same side as everybody that listens to this podcast. Really? That's the answer. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. How do you feel about politics? Do they make you uncomfortable? No.

Come on. I don't – yeah, no, I don't – I feel like you're pretty apolitical. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not apolitical. I just – man, wow. I didn't think we were going to go here. There's good people on both sides. No. No.

No, no, no, no, no. If anything, it's just like, I mean, I think much like you in Kansas City, it's just like we got to get involved locally. Yeah. And I'm not really doing that, but like I do have opinions. Yeah. And I do know that that is like something that I need to get. So I'm not apolitical. I'm lazy. Yeah. That's actually the situation. That's most of the country. Exactly. Yeah, that's a really huge...

I think actually it's funny to me, like when people talk about the center of the country, a lot of times they're like, oh, everyone's Republican. I'm like, most people are checked out. Yes. Nobody, they don't give a fuck. Most people know a thing that they like an article that they read online and then they kind of base everything off of that. If even going, going forward. Yes. If even, I think like most of my family genuinely, if I was, if I were to list like,

And this is not an insult. If I were to list like 10 major things in the culture wars that happened recently or like in the news, they'd be like, oh, that's crazy. I didn't know any of that. Like they're just not. They're like, I've got bills to pay. So I'm not really. Not focused on it. Yeah. Everybody's just kind of trying to get by. Yeah. Ultimately. I think that, see, this is why you should run. Yeah. You got a good perspective on things. Because I'm just like, hey, we all just trying to do it. Yeah. We all just trying to hang out. You're like, y'all, everyone relax.

I'm lazy. You can be lazy. It's crazy nobody's run on that sort of platform. I will. Everyone relax. I've been saying. Could you see yourself running for some sort of office one day? God, I don't know.

You know, if my country needed me. You've thought it. Oh, you're going national. Oh, I see. If my entire country needed me. Okay, yeah. If the country needed you. I was talking about the greater Kansas City area. Okay, so you thought like an alderman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Alderman in Kansas City. No, I don't think so. I really don't think so. But I do think that.

Uh, it was my plan originally. Right. I was planning on being in politics. I worked in politics. I worked campaigns. I thought I was going to go to law school and be like a politician for sure. Yeah. I don't want to, but I do think it's, it, it shocks me how much people on the left are fumbling at politics. Yeah. The left, the liberal progressive policies win every single time. You look at like the polling in Florida right now, Kamala's pulling, you know, 17 points behind Trump or something like that, which you would expect from Florida since Obama. Uh,

And she's pulling so far behind him, but there's a past weed initiative that's pulling at 70%. 70 to 30. Yes, I do feel like this is very common. It's like, yeah, it's just the idea of the left makes people be like, no, no, I'm not with that stuff. But then when you actually dig into the policies, people are like, yeah, that's awesome. Every time. They don't like us because we're annoying. Sure. But they like our policies. And they're right, by the way. Leftists are annoying. Yeah, it's true. I'm seeing people do discourse about Tim Walz right now, the governor of Minnesota, that he shouldn't be the VP because he didn't go to an Ivy League school.

Really? It's a real discourse that I'm seeing. Oh, I didn't know about this. Yeah. And I'm like... What school did he go to? He went to like University of Minnesota Mankato or something. What did you say? Shadron as well. Yeah, he went to a couple because he's got a couple. But it's like that's a plus. Yeah. But people on the left, there's a lot of elitism going on over here. Sure. But...

Yeah, I mean, Kansas codified abortion. Like, Kansas passed abortion. Like that where it's like... Yeah, I don't desire to be a politician. I think it's the worst job in the world. But I do desire for people who have leftist ideals to like chill the fuck out and just talk about the messaging. Which I think Tim Waltz is doing, which is kind of cool. Okay, we got a pro Tim Waltz. I like Tim Waltz a lot. I like Andy Beshear's just fine. Josh Shapiro...

the VP thing. I don't know when this episode's coming out, so this might all be moot, but school vouchers are a problem for me. School vouchers I don't like. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Private schools and subsidizing only private schools and leaving public school kids to fail. It's silly. You have a master's degree. You got a master's in what? Organizational something.

Yeah. I know about Devin. This is not the stuff I thought I was going to talk about on here. I want to know about your master's degree. None of this stuff is what I did not think I was going to talk about being my political beliefs and going to grad school. Yeah, well, because you think, I know what you think of me. You think...

What do I – tell me what I think of you. Oh, you go, oh, my friend Caleb, he's just this big, dumb, goofy guy. He's just this clown. He's this silly. He's this goober. He would never take me to task on the issues. No. That's awesome. That's what you think. He would never. He would never take me to task. I mean, look –

Here, let's talk about it. Yeah. Let's talk about it. I went to grad school. I went to a grad program that I truly think was like a scam. I do truly think was I do have a master's degree. But like, what did I actually come away with? Yeah. Who's to say? Who's to say? Everybody that I went to grad school with is like a management consultant now. Like Deloitte or like McKinsey. Yeah. But like but like lower paying, less prestigious ones.

That's tough. To sell out and not even get the bag is crazy. No, it's still a bag, but it's like, you know, a Texas bag is like, you only need like 80K to live a really beautiful life. Don't I know it. You know what I'm saying? Don't I know it. Exactly. Like, if you go back to where I grew up, like, you could really, I could have been a homeowner already. Yeah. Instead of, you know, living the way I'm living. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't own in New York? No.

Anybody who has less than a billion dollars. Truly can't. Yeah. Not quite. I'm getting close. Yeah. I'm getting close. I've been saying on stage, I'm going to sell out soon. And once I do that. I think you already did. Didn't I see you doing some Jack Daniels partnerships? It was Captain Morgan. And that's a delicious spiced rum.

That's a delicious spiced rum. They've put a new ingredient in the vanilla that's actually making it pop. And it's actually something that's so easy and light, you could drink it over ice. Not to mention a variety of cocktails that are listed on CaptainMorgan.com.

They need to send you another check immediately. I would like that, actually. Post haste. I would like to get, because that, I done ran through that bag already. Captain Morgan, let's work again. Also, Sprite, any, you know, any sort of, any of you guys who want to talk, let's have a conversation. Captain Morgan, Sprite. Go ahead, shout out the other brands. Who are you wanting to hear from? Sprite? Let's say Pizza Hut.

Really? Yeah, I grew up in a Pizza Hut household. Yeah. Which is uncommon. I feel like most people don't. I'll tell you, we were a Pizza Hut household. You were a Pizza Hut household? We were because... See, I knew there was something going on. That's the one thing. That's what makes this work. That is the main thing. Well, do you remember Pizza Hut back when they had the, like,

the fucking like Pizza Hut chandeliers of course in the restaurant this is one of my earliest memories in the little buffet yeah we had a little buffet there was one right by the high school in the town in Pflugerville Pflugerville if we're pleased if anybody from Pflugerville I want to become like what you are to Kansas City I want to be to Pflugerville specifically I don't want to be like I don't I don't want to

I mean, is there a lot going on over there? Okay. Hold on. Okay, hold on. Hold on. I'm just saying. They shot, look, they shot the TV show Friday Night Lights at my high school. Damn.

See? Yeah. Damn. The jerseys, the uniforms, those are literally our high school football jerseys. Wow. Like, I can't tell you how many people in my life I've made watch the pilot episode because that episode has, like, real people that I, like, grew up with in it. Yeah. And, like, football coaches from our school. And, like, there's a lot of, like, cameo. Like, the high school football star from, like, when I was a freshman and he was a senior, he has, like, a little cameo. And I remember the whole town was like, no, that's fucking.

that's Antoine Cobb yeah that's Antoine Antoine if you're listening Antoine shout out I see you I see you I'm just saying Pflugerville yes I don't I have a lot of competition in Kansas City you do if I want to be a KC guy because I went to that event and it's like I mean it's Sudeikis it's Stone Street it's Rudd it's Riggle it's Heidi Gardner it's Janelle Monae oh really Janelle Monae Kansas City girl I didn't know that shout out Kansas City they I don't know what they're doing with the pronouns these days but shout out Janelle whatever you're up to with the pronouns shout out to Janelle

I can see there's a lot. Pflugerville, I'm thinking you might have an easier lane to the crown. That is true. That is true. You know who I learned this from Pflugerville and maybe once in my high school? The guy who is the Asian guy who was in Try Guys. Oh, Eugene. Eugene. I forget his last name. Their last name? What are they doing with the pronouns? You don't know what anyone's doing with the pronouns anymore. I can't even pretend to know. You know, it used to be. What?

Speak on it. What did it used to be? Speak on what it used to be. Hey, back in the day, you used to just... But yeah, I don't know...

So you really only got to eliminate one person to get to 270 in Pflugerville. I got to beat him out. Yeah. The path to the throne is... I got to beat him out. Eugene, if you're watching, I'm coming for that ass. Yeah. I'm coming for it. Well... Yeah. Hey, whatever it takes. You know what I'm saying? If I was on a different type of show, they'd be like, oh, pause. I'm not... We don't do that here. Yeah. No, this show, my show, I'm cool with gay people.

Have never mind them. I think they're a lovely people. I'm not on board with that type of mentality, but yeah, no, but I, you have mentioned that several times in private.

You have several times in private mentioned to me that you don't like when I do gay stuff. I gotta stop talking like this. I gotta stop talking like this on a recorded line. Yeah. This is going out. Yeah, no. I know. People will see it. And not for nothing, the show has listeners. Yeah, that's what I... Genuinely, my girlfriend, she keeps, like, on multiple occasions, she's been like, Caleb's podcast is blowing up. Ha ha ha!

And I pay her to say that. She said it apropos of nothing. She'll just like be on her phone. She'll be like, Caleb's podcast is really big now. Zoe. She wants me. She wants to be friends. She wants to be my bestie. I mean, you're lovable. You're lovable. I feel like everybody. Thanks, dude. I try. I try. I really try.

What did I talk about? I did my why did you get SNL over me joke. You didn't really want to run with that one. I tried to talk about your grad school. You shut that down pretty quick. You did love talking about the cops. That was a real moment. Shout out to the boys. The boys. The boys in blue. The boys in blue. Y'all doing it. Would you move back to Texas ever? I would like to. In like my dream scenario, I'd like to like, I'd like to have a place here and then have like a place with some land back home. Austin. I don't know if I move back to Austin. Austin is kind of like...

it's just you know it's lost a little bit of its charm for me yeah i think it's uh when i was growing up it was like a real college town and now it's like a tech hub yeah in a way that i think i might want to get away from but i'm gonna wait and see you know it's actually kind of sweet is like my my best friend is still back there and i kind of want to see where he settles down and i think i'm gonna do a little compound situation exactly ride gators back and forth ideally dude ideally that's what i'm trying to do i wish we had gators

We need to get you a gator. We need to get you some land. Oh, you're talking about... Okay, never mind. You're talking about alligators. I was talking about an actual alligator at first, like what they have in Florida, and then I realized you're talking about sort of like a...

That's my bad. I thought I was with a country boy, but I realize now I'm with the city slicker. I'm really, I'm suburban is what I really am. No worries. I'm suburban. I like, I grew up adjacent to the country, but not in it. Yeah. Also, like, I don't, you know, there were country black kids where I grew up, but like my parents are both not from the country, so I think they were, we weren't doing it. We're not really trying. I like, I grew up next to kids who were muddin', but I wasn't. Muddin'!

Were you mudding? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's just been probably 10 years since I've heard someone say mudding. That is so funny, dude. Mudding. We're going mudding. God damn, that's funny. For the people...

who don't know what mudding is it is literally like a like a dude who was wearing carhartt before it was popular would get inside of a truck and then like when it was like after it had rained and then would just drive around in a field yeah and just get mud all over his truck yeah kick it up yeah and just the mud would splash up and then you went mudding you went mudding that was a whole experience damn yeah trying to get all mud on the tires brad paisley you got you might know

I don't know that one. I'm sorry. I don't know that one. Get a little mud on the tires. It's a good night. Be out here soaking up the moonlight. Y'all know. Yeehaw. Joy line. I got the perfect place in mind. Come on. You don't know this one?

No, why are you looking like I'm just looking? Why are you sounding surprised that I don't know deep cut Brad Paisley? This is not deep cut Brad Paisley. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, it's one of the hits. I'm sorry. This is one of the hits. Brad, my bad. That's on me. Do you know what my favorite Brad Paisley song is? I would like to know. I would love to tell you about it. Please. Because it's very... One of my favorite types of country music is funny country music. Yeah. And Brad Paisley made some of the funniest. Okay. And he made a song called...

That was like, well, I love her, but I love to fish. And then he goes on to be like, basically the story is the girlfriend in this song is like, you either need to stop fishing or I'm going to break up with you. Okay. Yeah. And he's like, she said if I hit that fishing hole today, she'd be gone by 12. And he says, well...

I'm gonna miss her. He sings a whole song about how he chose to go fishing over his girlfriend. I love that. That's amazing. I really love that because it's like a parody of a country song, but he did it really earnestly. Oh, he means it. Yeah. Yeah, he means it and people love it. What about Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off? By Joe Nichols? Did that do anything for you? Yeah, brother. Okay. Yeah, brother. Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. Everything Joe Nichols did. What else was he up to? Oh, Joe Nichols did...

I think the devil drives a coupe devil. Okay. I watch him drive away over the hill. I did not expect you guys to be locked in on country music in this way. Come on. Oh, okay. I see. Joe Nichols is that guy. Joe, if you're listening, and I know you are. Yeah, he will be. I love him.

love, love, love what you were up to for about five years there. What about where you at on honky tonk, but don't get done honky tonk, but don't get done. You have only slightly lost me. Okay. Because it feels like it's in the, in the range of what we're talking about here. Yeah. Honky tonk, but don't get done really mobilized guys. I didn't like in a way that, you know, that's how I feel about country music at large. Yeah.

That's a lot of country music just sort of in a general sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a boy, as a black boy who grew up in Texas. Yeah, yeah.

really complicated relationship with the art form really because like yeah and what because like you know it's like it's like republicans where it's like on one hand it feels like it's frightening like it's going to take my rights away but also it feels like home but i am tapping my foot you know what i'm saying yes it's like look man look when that when when some when uh fucking uh what's the song friends in low places when them for when the when the opening strum of friends in low places come on i

I showed up in boots. Ooh. And ruined your black tie. You better. You better, dude. Garth Brooks? Last one to know. Come on. Last one to show. I was the last one you thought you'd see there.

And I saw the surprise and the fear in his eyes as I took his glass of champagne and I toasted you with honey with a beetroot but you'll never hear me complain. I got friends in low places. Come on. You don't know anything about that.

Sing it word for word. Sing every single one, sing the whole thing. You don't know nothing about that. You don't know anything about that. You don't know anything about Garth Brooks. No, I feel you. See, I mean...

There's a handful of country songs that really kind of send me. I will say that. But same thing would be... Not same thing. Being gay in the country as well. Sure. I'm like, I know what you mean. When those guys get a little too animated, I go... You're like, ah. Yeah, I'm like... Yeah. If I have to. One time I took mushrooms and I went to a party and the song... It was... Which Eminem song was it? It was like...

It was like Without Me or like it was just an Eminem song and every white person started singing it on a level that I was like I gotta get out of here actually. Yeah, they're like their shoulders are moving too much. You know what I'm saying? Like they felt it in a way that I was like I can't be around this.

I gotta leave. And sometimes country felt like that as well. It could really go either way. What's your favorite kind of white person? You've told me some of your least favorites. Ooh. Is there a white person you like? My favorite type of white person. Honestly, I'd say you're in the mix. Me? I'd say you're in the mix. You know, because you know what it is. You know what my favorite is? Look at the sheer, look at the joy on his face. Look at the joy on his face. Guy like me. Look at the joy on his face. Guy like me waits his whole life to hear something like that.

Oh, well that's, yeah, I do feel like it's really hyper. I feel like most white people are waiting for this, this sort of, and that's, I think that's, I think that's where I think, I think, I think, I think that's what I like about you. Cause Caleb feels, cause like if I, if, if I were to bring you to a function, it was, and it was just you and you were the only white boy at the function. I feel like you would, you'd move like, not only do I think you'd move through really comfortably, I think you would also like kind of be a hit. I,

I feel like you would make like five new friends. Sure. Every, every time. Also, every time I go to like a Caleb party, there's like, there's the right amount of black people there. I would say, you know what I'm saying? You're counting. I mean, I have, I have a general sense, right? Our producer here, you know about it. You know, when you go, you go to a function and you're like, and it's like a white person's party and you know, sometimes you go and you,

go and you're like man there's really like it's just me and one other person you're always really aware of that when i go to a caleb party there's enough black people around that i don't even really i'm just like okay we're here we're here and we're represented it's not like it's not just a quorum there's a there's a voting block yeah exactly got it and that's and that's something yeah you i think you know what i'm saying and it's like even if y'all don't talk the whole night it's like you're like okay it might have to be me and you you know

It might have to be me and you. If something goes sideways. If something goes sideways, we just need to know where the exits are and where each other are. Yeah. Just to sort of, you know, look out for each other. I love that. I do that with fat people at the buffet. Really? Yeah. You going to buffet still? Brother. I thought COVID killed. If you think I'm giving up on the buffet, you got another fucking thing coming. I will ride golden crowns till the fucking wheels fall off. I will be in a Chinese buffet. No, what you eating there?

Golden Corral. Until anything they ask me to. Caleb, you got too much money to be eating that Golden Corral. I will ride Golden Corral until the wheels fall off. You making too much money to be eating that Golden Corral, bro. I love Golden Corral if you're out there. No. If you're listening and I know you are. No, cut the camera, bro. Golden Corral, if you can hear me. Cut the camera. I want to be working with y'all. Get Jeff Foxworthy out of there. He was their spokesperson for a while. Was he? I didn't know that. Jeff Foxworthy. That tracks. You might be.

No, no, I'm familiar. If you're eating the Golden Corral, I can do it. You don't think that shit went platinum in my high school? At Pflugerville? You don't think that shit went platinum right outside of Austin? That's what people don't realize is like the country was, it's right there. It's just... You know what I'm saying? I know. It's like Austin is like, sure, sure, sure, sure. But like, you're never far from the country when you're in Texas. You're not doing a buffet? Huh? You're not doing a buffet at all? Not presently. I grew up going to buffets and I hate to like abandon my roots. Yeah.

You've changed. I've certainly changed, and I needed to. But I really... Why from New York? It's forgetting who you are. That's a pretty good aim. No, it was good, and I hate that it worked. I hate that it was effective. I wish that one didn't work, but...

You know what I'm saying? Sometimes when you got one, you got one. Hey, Devin, maybe you need to start going live from Pflugerville and get back in touch with your roots. No, you know what? You were a Golden Corral guy. Yes. You were a Golden Corral guy. We had this chain that I do not believe exists anymore called Ryan's. Oh, Ryan's. I know a Ryan's well. Y'all had Ryan's? That Ryan's salad bar? Yes. I was all up in there. We had Ryan's. That was very much like an after church sort of thing. We were going to Ryan's after church or we were going to some lady's house and

And she would cook, and then we would watch like a VHS tape of a play that Tyler Perry made. Yes. I was watching the plays. Do you know what was going platinum in my tiny little, like mostly white Missouri town? What's that? Anything that Tyler Perry did. Really? Christian, rural, white people love Tyler Perry. Interesting. He cannot, back me up, he cannot do wrong. Yeah.

He cannot do wrong. This is fascinating. Diary of a Mad Black Woman is on the television. You know what, though? You know what? Here's a question that I'll ask, though. Here's a question because this feels important. Was it any of the movies that didn't have Madea in it? Or was it specifically the Madea films? Oh, you're talking about like when... Because he does other stuff.

What is Jill Scott in? He's making a lot of stuff, actually. Why did I get married? Why did I get married? It's on. A crazy movie. It's on. Absolutely. Nuts. And then the sequel's even crazier. Truly nuts. Me and my girl, we've really been clocking back in on Tyler Perry. Yeah. We've been really trying to, because he's putting out, I don't think people realize, at any given point, he has like 10 projects out, like a year.

He has like five TV shows on air. For sure. And he is the credited writer and director on every single episode. Yeah. It's really easy to make stuff when you don't use union rules. Well. When you're paying somebody. When you have a compound in Atlanta that you're not using union rules, you can really churn stuff out. It's pretty crazy. You're paying some ghost writer like $10 an hour to crank the scripts out. When you said you guys are clocked in for Tyler Perry, I was like, well, be careful because you're not going to make much.

Just be careful. Yeah, we're not going to get that. Yeah. We're not going to have a W-2. The hospital you go to is not going to be close to where you live. I will say that. You'll be going to an urgent care in Jersey City if you're not careful.

Be very careful clocking in. Tyler. Tyler, what are we doing? He's making, I want you to watch, he's got a new movie out starring Megan Good. I've heard about this. It's called Divorce in the Black. Yeah. I need you to go ahead and watch this and I need you to check back in with me. I could probably do it right now. Do you want me to just pull it up on my phone? Bro, honest to God, if like, the opening scene is something, it's like, it's something to behold. It's like,

It really is a thing where I'm like, oh, he's operating on either a higher level than everybody else or he's intentionally undermining the black community. You think he's a CIA operative? Truly. One of those things. Honestly, maybe you shouldn't watch it because I was really watching that Tyler Perry movie and I was like, I don't think we should even let white people see this. Oh, God.

But you brought it to me now. I did bring it to you. It's on my desk. But honestly, as I'm talking about it now, I'm like, actually, maybe this would just be for us. Yeah. I'll stay out of it. You let me know which one. You think on it, let me know. At least watch the opening scene. Just watch the opening scene. Watch the opening scene and you don't need to see the rest. What's your favorite movie? All time. Number one.

You can't say Divorce in the Black or whatever that was. It's up there. Divorce in the Black, top five for sure. I don't know. What do I really like? I'm trying to think about what movies I grew up watching all the time when I was a kid and stuff like that. We were watching a lot of Julia Roberts in my house. Anything Julia was doing? Pretty Woman. Pretty Woman. Oh, big time. Should not have been watching that at the age I was watching that. Yeah, same. I remember seeing Pretty Woman at least like the first

first like 20 minutes or so when I was like seven. Movies used to be crazy because like that was a big studio rom-com and it starts with them... It starts with her walking past like one of her like sex worker friends being killed in a dumpster. Whoa. Do you remember that? No, actually... And you're like...

You watch it now and you're like, this was a giant studio rom-com. Yep. And they're like, she's literally like walking to work as a sex worker. And they're like, oh yeah, what's her name? Her pimp killed her. They literally say her pimp killed her and threw her in a dumpster.

I do not remember that at all. That's how they start the movie. I have not seen Pretty Woman in a really long time. I remember that George from Seinfeld is like a really bad guy in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's a scumbag. Yeah, he's like a bad guy. Shout out to George. Shout out George Costanza. Shout out George Costanza. My favorite movie? I don't know. When I was like 13, me and my buddy used to watch Wedding Crashers like every single day. Really one of the best. Yeah. Really one of the best. Really holds up. We used to make comedies. We really did. Yeah. Like that, I feel like all of that...

All the Apatow stuff, Apatow and Apatow adjacent stuff, that era of guys, I feel like was really... It kind of shaped me, for better or worse. We lose so many of our big, funny guys to being brooding Republican-type guys. You've got to do... Vince Vaughn, back in the day, he was like, let's make some bad decisions. He was so funny and goofy and quick with it, and now he's just so...

He did some dramatic roles. Did you see Brawl in Cellblock 99? No, but I heard it's good. It's actually pretty good. Yeah, I've heard that. I feel like that's the curse of the funny man. I feel like everybody's laughing for such a long time, and then you start to hang out with fucking...

I don't know, whoever you start to hang out with, you like meet Al Pacino and he tells you that you got to start doing some different kinds of stuff. Yeah. And then next thing, now you're like trying to get your Oscar movie off. Now you're like, oh, I actually just want to direct, you know? Is that happening to you yet? No. No.

What you're saying is knowing this. I'm like, who's in your ear? I just feel like, no, no, no, this is not happening. People don't even really fuck with my comedy stuff yet. Shut up. We're working on it. It's a work in progress. But yeah, I just feel like that's what happened to Jonah Hill. You know what I'm saying? You do enough comedy stuff. That's what happened. We need Michael Cera back. Michael Cera, you know he makes music.

Exactly. And it's pretty good. I have not listened to music. He makes some folk music that I am not mad at. He lives not far from me. In Brooklyn? Yeah. I see him around the neighborhood from time to time. That's a good neighborhood. I'd like to be over there. You should. Got the two of you guys? Move to New York. You know I'm looking at places right now. Oh, yeah. You were telling me about this. Yeah. We'll see if it happens or not. You should. I'm going back and forth. What are you going to stay in Los Angeles? Well, this city is disgusting. Sure. And it's expensive. They all are. No.

I mean, not Kansas City and not Pflugerville. Shout out to Pflugerville. Mayor of Pflugerville, if you're listening, I want a key to the city. I feel like... Give Devin the key to Pflugerville. I feel like I should have that. What do you got to lose? Also, Austin. I'd like that as well. Austin. I'm trying to get two keys. Hit him up. Yeah, please. Maybe we do Pflugerville-Austin same weekend. Yeah. Well, Saturday, Sunday. I could hit San Marcos. I could go to Hutto. Come on. Yeah. I could go to Bastrop. No, I don't want to go to Bastrop. This is local humor for nobody.

No, Austin. I got a lot of fans in Austin. Give it to them. Do you really? Terry Blacks. Why not? Say something like that. Yeah, Terry Blacks. I'm personally a Salt Lake guy. If you really know about the barbecue scene, you know about Salt Lake because you got to drive like 40 minutes outside the city. It's a BYOB establishment. Oftentimes they'll have like an up-and-coming country artist playing there. Is that the old white lady who's like 90 and she like does all the fire coals? Yes. Exactly. Okay. Okay. You're tapped in. Please. Okay. What do you think of me?

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. I love Caleb. I love you. You really are one of the funniest people working right now. I think you're so funny. Oh, stop it. No, I'm a huge fan. Stop it. I really think the world of you. Stop it. You know, I ask people on this podcast a lot. What's up? What do you want? What is the goal? Bro, truly, all I want is to... You do a joke, I'm going to kill you. No, no, no. I'm going to be really earnest. I'm going to be really earnest. Truly, all I want out of this game is to...

to have the freedom to do what I want that's like all I really I want to work I want to work at shit that I like have to do until I only have to work on what I want to do yeah do you know what I'm saying absolutely like and I'm you know I'm still in that phase where it's like now I just kind of gotta I gotta take a lot of jobs just because it's like that's where the money's at you know but it's like not where my passion is I want to get to the point where like

I'm just making the exact stuff that I want to be making and I don't have to ask a bunch of people for money and funding to figure it out and I can put my friends in the positions to do the shit that they want to do. It's all I really care about. It's not even like, oh, I want to be a movie star. Oh, I want to...

You know, I want to like be the biggest stand-up worker. Like whatever, like however it comes, like I'm cool with. I like enjoy writing. I enjoy acting. I really enjoy stand-up. Like I like it all. But I really just want to like make shit with my buddies. And I just want to like be rich enough that I can –

that I can call my own shots. That's all I really want out of this game. That's same. I've said since I started, I don't ever need to play theaters. I don't have like a, like a, like doing Madison Square Garden or something is not some big dream of mine. My dream is to hang out with my friends whenever I want. And if I want to, if I want to get on a plane to go somewhere for a week, I can do it. Yeah. I just want freedom. That's all I want. That's truly. Yeah. And I feel like, I feel like we're close enough that you like see people who are like,

a little bit further than you, but you're like, oh, you got it. You know what I'm saying? I feel like we know people where it's like, oh, you're actually free. And so it feels close enough that like, I know it's possible, but... But it's kind of like hitting that perfect pocket though, because then you also have friends. I feel like we're at the point where like...

you and I started out around the same time and have known like all the same people I feel like and you also watch people go they get to that point where they got it and then they keep going and then it gets bad again and then you're like everyone knows you you can't do anything you're way too famous every minute of your day is booked for an entire year out

And then when I watch my friends go through that, I'm like, number one, so happy for you. I hope this is what you want. I hope you're getting everything you want genuinely. Yeah. But for me personally, I go, I want many rungs below that for me. Yeah. Like, I don't want to have my days booked out a year in advance. That stresses me the fuck out. It's a delicate balance, though. Yeah. It's a delicate balance. I'm trying to stop soon. Yeah? I'm, like, right where I want to be. I kind of feel that way. I'm like, I feel like I could go up, like,

just like ever so slightly more. Yeah. And then chill out. Like, I don't need to, I don't need to be Kevin Hart. No, that seems maybe I shouldn't have said that. I'm about to like do a thing for him, but like, so maybe whatever. You're not dissing him. You're just saying you don't personally need to be at that level of like, I don't need to be, I don't even want, I don't yearn to be the biggest, uh,

I just want to be like settled. I just want, I just want like shit to be taken care of. That's all I really care about. Yeah. I want to pay my bills. I want to hang out with people I like. That's another thing. I don't want to, I don't want to hang out with people I don't want to hang out with. And that's a big part of like, I think what we're both saying is like, we don't want to be like famous, famous. Yeah. I think that's what, cause it's like, we were talking about like politicians and it's like,

I don't know. It's the more I've gotten around famous people. I'm like, Oh, you're doing what a politician does more or less. You're just not like having people vote for you. You know, you are like so much of your job when you get around these like really famous people, so much of their job is just like making sure everybody likes them and like projecting whatever image they're

You know what I'm saying? Well, the job transcends the art you got into originally, and it becomes the same job as a politician, which is the job of public approval. Yes. Your job is public opinion and polling. I mean, trying to make movies and TV shows and stuff, the number of conversations I have with producers and things that are like, oh, that person doesn't have value anymore. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, they've got lists. They're like, these are the 10 actresses that we could really see making a movie like this, and if they're not on the list, it's like there's really no... Sure. It's not about who would do good at the role. No.

sometimes it is i'm not saying everyone's evil or something but i'm saying like it does you get to this point where you are much like a politician you're a favorable versus unfavorable number yep and it has to be in a certain percentage for them to think like even indie movies now you you try to get an indie movie made i'm trying to get mine made right now and people start talking to you about uh overseas favorability of your lead actress oh my god because they need to be able to do an international distribution to make back four million bucks and you're like

Pardon? It's like, yeah, you become a politician effectively. It's your favorability. And it's not votes, but it is like how many people would turn out to the voting booth versus how many people would turn out to the theater. It's still the same. How much can you activate people? Yeah. It's, I don't know. I feel like in our industry too, though, it's so much more.

I feel like it's so much more combustible because it's so much like, it's not nearly as easy to predict. You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like every year there is like, like,

I genuinely feel like I'm like, if you let me and my homies make some shit, people will like it. You know what I'm saying? Like people will turn. I know we're not the names yet. I guess we're saying the same thing. Yeah. Or is this like, oh, I know maybe people don't know who we are. They don't know. Like, you know, we don't we don't necessarily have the bankability. But I'm like, I really I have so much belief in me and my people that I'm like, I think we could make something like that people would love. I think we can make something that would be like, I think you easily would. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But it's just like.

I don't know. It's kind of a catch-22 because you kind of have to get famous for the people who make the decisions to believe that

You should have the resources to do the thing you want to do. 100%. It's the worst part is being like, I really should go to that party. I really should. I really should invest in more people. I should post that clip. I should whatever. I mean, we've talked about this a bunch. We've talked about this a lot. But yeah, the posting particularly and the like building of attention for yourself. My least favorite part of the game. It's like, I just want to kind of make a movie actually. Yeah. But no one wants to watch your movie if they don't know who you are. Yeah.

It's not being a good movie or a good script is like, okay, it's kind of beside the point. Yeah, that's the thing that starts to bug you out after a while. Yeah. Oh, I could actually be the best. But like, I gotta I gotta make people care about me before anybody will like buy into me being the best whatever. Well, it's going pretty well. You're doing very well. Things are going well for Devin. Devin's on the up and up.

I think so. Devin's stock is rising all the time. I hope so. I got money in. I'm in the ground floor. Hey, you and me both. I'm sticking around. You got like an indie that's out right now that you're in. Yeah. Yeah, that's like popping. I feel like I'm seeing your face everywhere. Yeah. Well, good. Yeah. Keep spreading it.

Okay. Put my face out there. No, that movie is very fun. Yeah, that was a good one to do. I need to check it out. You haven't watched it? Not yet. Yeah. Not yet. Dear friend of mine. I'm a good friend. Didn't catch it in theaters. Yeah. And you saw all the sketches that I did on SNL? Yeah, I watch every week. You see it all over? I watch every week. I say, oh, what are they going to put that in? What was your favorite one that I did? When you had that wig on. Ha ha ha ha ha.

When you had that wig on, so this is this past season. You had that wig on and you were just, you were being so, like you couldn't, you were like, a slightly different version. Like you weren't playing yourself. You were like a little bit of a different guy. And it was like current, and the way you tackled the news of the day in it as well.

That dude I was like That's like some classic No you know what Actually Actually now that you're Talking about this I realized that I did see the short film That you were in Yeah And you know what I'm saying What you brought to the table Like as the friend Yeah You know what I'm saying Gay friend yeah Yes Yeah

Yeah, you're not going to get me. When I watched it, I didn't even think gay friend. I just thought friend, but that's just the standpoint that I'm... You're a progressive kind of guy, yeah. That's just who I am. Yeah, what'd you think of it? Bro, I mean, really, the levity that you brought, you know, was sort of your... You were kind of pithy. Right. You know, you kind of had some pithy... I was pithy, you thought. Oh. Oh.

You know, sort of the levity that you brought to a situation that could have been... You're in pithiness. Not I brought pithiness.

Not the... Did I use that word right? Not the pithy delivery. You did. But it really rang true to me. I do. I serve pithy in the thing. You know, we were talking about movies we really liked. I used to watch 40-Year-Old Virgin every day. That tracks. That tracks.

That was a great one. Hate that. That was a big one. Used to watch four-year-old version every single day with like my best friend who like lived down the street. And that's where I learned what the word pithy means. Oh, do they say it in that movie? They say it. I think we were watching the like uncut version. So like sometimes there's parts that I realize that like everybody else didn't see because we were watching like the extended cut or whatever. But yeah, there is that scene where Paul Rudd

Shout out. Shout out, Paul. Shout out, Paul, Kansas City boy. Brings Steve Carell all that porn. And he, like, is bringing him all this porn. And then basically Steve Carell. I'm not doing a good job of telling this story. No. But basically Steve Carell's like, oh, I actually don't want all this porn. I don't want all this porn. This feels bad. I'm not into this. And Steve Carell. No, no, no. I don't want to tell this story. No.

I have real ADD, and so sometimes when I'm in the middle of telling the story, I'm also thinking about two or three other different things, and so then I kind of forget where I am in the story. But all this to say, they start talking about everybody loves Raymond. They start talking about everybody loves Raymond. What?

Yeah. And Steve Kerr and Paul Rudd, because Paul Rudd's really sad because his girlfriend isn't into him. Yeah. And his girlfriend ends up being Mindy Kaling. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, he was like, you know, life's really not like everybody loves Raymond. It's not like pithy dialogue that ends in 22 minutes. Life is like,

you know, it's like a longer, sadder version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever. Yeah. And that's where I learned about the word pithy. I really wish I didn't do this. No, you shouldn't. I really wish I didn't tell that anecdote. That one really didn't. No, I think we'll cut it. No, and you would be right to. And you would be right to. I think you should. I really wish I didn't go on that anecdote. No, I don't know. I thought that

thought the nine minutes where you recapped 40 year old virgin like one scene of it was i thought that was good for the part yeah no i tried to recap one scene and i did it really poorly just so i could explain why i knew the one word the definition of one word i thought it was compelling that paul rudd said 16 years ago i'm sorry quite compelling i'm sorry so true listeners don't be well speaking of so true what's

What's something that's so true to you? Wow. What's so true? Wow. You know, you think this is a game to me, but I'm... No, you did your research. I'm locked in, clocked in. I know the master's degree. You got all the Wikipedia. You saw where I was from. No, my producer sends me a little document about every guest. That's really nice. Chance. Shout out Chance, who produces the pod. He's not here. Oh, okay. Shout him out in the camera. He's in LA. But, you know, I take this very seriously, Devin. My listeners know. The truthers know. No, I appreciate that. I'm not kidding around. Thank you for being serious about it. What's so true to you?

What's so true to me? I don't know. Should I do a joke or should I be sincere? Oh, that's hard to say, huh? What do people normally do on here? Haven't watched the show, okay. Not watching my stuff. Again, a pretty good friend of mine. Uh...

You can go either, dude. You can go sincere or I feel like we've had a good mix, huh? What's so true to me? We're all going to be all right. That's what's so true to you? We're all going to be all right. Do you think? Well, I mean, not every single one of us, but like me and you. You'll be okay. Me and you, we're going to be all right. I don't know. No, actually...

I think all of us and all of our artist friends, I think we're going to be all right. Yeah. I think we're going to be all right. I like have like a... Do you ever feel this way? I have like simultaneously have like a great deal... Like I'm impossibly pessimistic and I think all of it is ass, but I also feel...

Like we're going to like it's all going to turn out the way that it's supposed to. I feel very about the way they're supposed to feel very zen about it, despite the fact that I hate it all. Yeah. Yeah. It all being just the this the industry that were the game that we're doing, the grind, the hustle, the grind, the hustle. I'm not really I'm not really into it, but I do think that it's like I think it's going to yield something really nice. I think we're going to look back in five years and be like, wow, look at those two.

Yeah, I think so. I think also regardless of what happens in the more technical sense, getting to be your friend is what makes it all worth it. Me and Devin, I get to be Devin's friend. That's kind of worth it. I can't handle this. Don't you feel? I can't handle this. Come on. Don't look away from me. No, he's been...

I do feel. You want to shy away from my love, but it's here for you. Yeah, it's true. I think making the friends that we make in this makes it all worth it. I think like you think about the number of people you know, all the people you love, Gary and Alex. My boys. And all the people that you have met and loved through comedy, all of our mutual friends. It's like that's when I was really trying to decide if I was going to go do politics or I try to do comedy. My whole thing was like even if I fail, if I get nothing in comedy, if I never sell a ticket, if I never make a dollar off of it,

I will spend my 20s hanging out with really cool people. And then that's fine. That's a great story. And I have a bunch of lovely people in my life and then I'll go to law school or whatever. And I'm hoping that I won't do that. Still at this point, I'd love to just keep doing this. It'd be so crazy if you ended up going to law school. What if? If you told me you were going to, I'd be like mad at you. I got pretty close to applying to grad school three weeks ago. No. Yeah. That recently? Yeah, because I was in Paris and I met someone who was in grad school in Paris and I thought...

Maybe I should do that. Wait a second. What's up? Speaking of Paris. Go ahead. Can we talk about it? Wish we would. Can we? Okay. Bring it up. When you post, okay, Caleb posted on his close friends on Instagram. Uh-oh. He was like, just got wrapped up in a situation ship over here on my European trip. Yeah. And I was like, you got to explain what's up. And he wouldn't explain it to me in the DMs. But can we talk about it on air or we got to take it off mic? Gay people. Gay people.

Gay people, gay men? Yeah. It's not working out, is it? Gay men... Not for me to say, but I'll respect your opinion on it. What do you think? Gay men? It's not going well. Shout out to Alex. Shout out to my guy, Alex. Alex is a gay guy in the most technical sense. LAUGHTER

Definitionally, Alex English, sure, you're a gay guy. In the most important ways, I would say. Yeah, he's doing all the stuff. He is. But... I don't know, dude. Gay guys are horrendous. Gay guys are guys that are gay, that are sociopaths, that are... I don't know. My whole point, I think, is like...

My love life is a joke and I'm the punchline. And it's no matter what continent I'm on, because I do that sometimes. I try to play with the continent. I go, oh, I'll go to this continent for a little while. And then there's a different language, but it's the same kind of energy. And then it's I'm still there, so then I'm part of it. And then the coolest thing about gay guys is the way we have casual sex. Awesome, yeah. That's the coolest thing we do. It seems fun. It's awesome. You just get on your phone. Someone wants to have sex with you.

That's amazing. God bless. God bless. But everything after that, for me, has been tough. Yeah. The relationships, the dates. So, yes, Europe, I had a situationship. Okay. God love him. I wish him well. Okay. Do you think it's over or do you think you'll ever find each other again? If I know anything about my love life, exactly when I don't want to hear from this guy again, I'll hear from him. What country does he live in? He lives in France. Okay. Hmm.

Okay. And you know, I actually really don't know anything about your dating life. Well, we actually don't really, I remember when I said you were about to go on a date the last, when I saw you in Kansas city or no, you had just come from a date. Yeah. Remember that?

What was that guy about? You were not into him. I remember you saying he was really hot but really dumb. Oh, he was really dumb. Oh my god, that guy. Yeah, he like... Well, do you know what happened? I haven't told this on here before. Do you remember what I told you about him? He had really bad politics? Well, not even bad politics. That I could work with.

I can maybe mold him. I can manipulate him into being correct. We were at dinner. Really, really hot guy in Kansas City. And I'm always looking for a Kansas City husband. We're at dinner, and he says, I love Ethel Kane. You know how gay people are. And I go...

And I go, sure, sure. I love Ethel Kane as well. I go, you know, her music's great. Also, she's got great politics. She's very leftist, you know? And I go, she's got great politics. She's very leftist. These are the words I said. Ethel Kane, great politics, very leftist, I say to him. And he goes, he bites his finger and looks confused. He goes,

And I go, oh, did you not know that about her politics? And he says to me, this man, 27 years old, he says to me, I'm just trying to remember if that's the good one or the bad one. You hate to see that. He was trying to remember if leftist was the good one or the bad one at 27 years old on a date with me. Yeah. Now... You don't like that. Obviously, conversion therapy...

is not something we support. Not me. But at a certain point, not everybody can be allowed to be gay around me. And now you're sounding like Alex. And now you're on your Alex type of time. I'm on the Alex of it all. I mean, good lord. I'm trying to remember if that's the good one or the bad one. I mean, this is a haunting thing to say to another grown up. I almost offered to cut up his food for him. I was like...

What are you talking about? It was funny because, like, you were like, oh, me and Caleb were both in Kansas City, and we were, like, planning to hang out, and he was like, I'm going on this date. And I was like, I'm not about to see Caleb. Caleb is about to be gone. This is going to be it. Yeah. I thought I was going to be in for the night. And I saw you immediately after that date, and you told me that, and I was like, okay. I stand corrected. We played pool? Yeah. I believe I beat you? You did. I scratched on the eight ball. Yeah. There's no need to get into the details. Look at you.

It wasn't an outright loss. We were, but if I remember right, we both were like really ass. We both were doing very badly. I think you tend to think in very granular ways how the victory was achieved, whatever came before it. You're a big picture guy. I'm a headlines kind of big picture guy. You zooming out. 10,000 miles. You zooming out. You up above. Yes, I'm a big thinker. I'm like an Elon Musk. Yeah.

Who I love. How many kids? You got as many kids as him? Oh, I wish. Yeah. I would love to have a couple kids running around. Me too. That's one thing straight guys really get to do.

Yeah, yeah, it's less of a to-do. Well, because you guys would just accidentally have a couple kids. And I'm shocked I haven't at this point. Like, I'm really... I would love that for you. I mean, now if I had one, it would be, like, very... Like, now I'm in a stage in my life where it, like, is reasonable. You'd be a father. You know what I'm saying? Do you want kids? Absolutely. Yeah? Especially, like, the older... I'm in my 30s now. I'm in my 30s now, and I feel like... Are you? God damn, you're old. How old are you? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Caleb, I'm four years older than you. Sorry. Oof. I did not know that. I did not know that. I'm four years older than you. I thought we were about the same situation. What year were you born in? I was born in 1995. I'm four years older than you. Yeah, 91? Yes. What? You good? This is crazy. Are you okay? It's crazy. There's people, as a person who was born in 1991, the people who were born in 1995 specifically, you guys really piss me off, man. Okay.

You guys really, really piss me off. What are we doing? Because it's like we were born in the same presidential cycle. Yeah. Barely. Yes, barely. Barely. But we both were still born in the Clinton administration. Yeah. And you guys talk to me like I was born in like the same. You guys talk to me like I was born when Jimmy Carter was the president. Yeah. And I'm like, truly, I was in preschool when you were born. We're really, we're the same age. Yeah. But you guys talk to me like I am some sort of a grandfatherly character. Here's the deal. It's really. You were technically.

technically letter of the law born in the Clinton presidency. That's right. However, when I was born, when I came out of the womb, you had ideas about the world already. I wouldn't say that's true. You had philosophies. You could advocate for yourself. Not in a big way. You were trying not to.

You were tying your own shoes. I can say if I wanted like spaghetti or fruit. Yeah, you were in Pflugerville running around. Was I? Yeah, I guess I was in Pflugerville probably by that point. You were running around in Texas. You had a whole life before me. And then I showed up. Yeah. And so it's a different thing. It's crazy. It's crazy. This happens a lot. And I'm like, we got to –

We'll work on it. We got to. I got a segment for you. What's that? I got some true or false questions for you. I thought we were almost done. You ever seen me do this before? What's that? No. Yeah, you don't watch the show, huh? No. Damn. But I'm going to start. But after today, I'm going to watch this episode at least. All I do is love and support you, and I can't get any. Every week I'm tuning in. Uh-oh.

To television Saturday Night Live? To see me put the wig on? Once you get that wig on. To see me put the wig on? Oh, once you get that wig on! To see me put the wig on and do what I buy. I will say, every time you hop on screen in that wig, I go, they made the right choice. What was the line that really stuck with you? What was the line that I said that really stuck with you? Well, of course, the classic one. Which one? When I see you do that, I go, I never could have done that. They really got the right guy. Hey, this is a true or false segment, Devin. Yeah.

I'm going to read you some statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false. Okay. Okay, my friends on the couch are going to keep track of how many he gets right. And hey, if you get 10 or more correct, I'm going to give you 50 US dollars. Wow, that's huge. You didn't come to Midtown for nothing. Thank you. Because that's how much the Uber costs to get over here. That's how much the Uber costs to get over here. So thank you for... All right. Abraham Lincoln was a competitive wrestler before his political career. I'm going to go true. True. The first book ever written on a typewriter was The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. True.

False. True. A giraffe's heart is the same size as a human's. A what? A giraffe's heart is the same size as a human's. True. False. They're two feet long. Fuck. Austin, Texas was originally called Waterloo. I think that might be true. That's true. Shakespeare invented the name Miranda. False. That's true. What? Strengths is the longest English word with only one vowel. Strengths.

False. That's true. What? Texas State University's mascot is Boomer the Bobcat. That is true. That is false. Boko the Bobcat. Oh, sure. You cow. Okay. A bear once enlisted in the Polish army and made it to the rank of corporal. I believe that. That's true. That's true. Facebook is older than MySpace.

Ooh, let's go true. That's false. The 2000 Olympics took place in Sydney, Australia. That is true. That is true. The longest NFL field goal ever recorded was 66 yards long. That feels true. That is true. Rollerblading is the number one cause of death in Finland. Oh, true. False. It's heart disease. Tinder was originally a way for tennis players to meet doubles partners. False. False. As of 2022, Madagascar has a larger population than Australia.

False. True. What? Wow. Four is the only number spelled with the same amount of letters as itself. True. That is true. How many did you get? Dang. Out of how many? Out of like, I think there was like 15 in there or something. It was a big list. Yeah. I even missed the one about the university that I went to. Yeah. But it's not, we weren't a sports school like that. For undergrad. For undergrad, yes. When you did uni. Yeah, when I was at uni. When I was at university. What?

Damn, I really wanted to give you 50 bucks, but... How many did I have to give? I guess you're eating those Ubers. 10. It's a tough game, but we run a tough show. You understand. Do you have like two or three more you could throw at me?

I'll ask you some of Jaboukie's. Jaboukie's coming in here next. I'll ask you some of his if you're interested. Why don't you let us do a joint episode? That's what the people are trying to see. They could not handle that. Oh, wait. No, I can't do that with you. You came late. We got to keep it moving. Jaboukie's getting here soon. We got to do Patreon. Hey, if you want to hear more from Devin, you should subscribe to the Patreon. Devin, is there anything you want to plug to the people? No, I have absolutely nothing going on right now, honestly. I just came off tour, so I don't have that to plug. How was the tour?

It was nice. It was tiring, but it was nice. It is tiring. It was really... Yeah, you know, when you just don't go home for weeks at a time. Yeah. You're just living out that suitcase. You're just with the boys. Just going to Ubers and hotels. Yeah. We went to a Buca di Beppo. It was living like that. Where? We went to a Buca di Beppo in Seattle. Yeah. It's different than I remember it being. Yeah. Worse. Truck, club, bus, another club, another club, hotel, club. Exactly. And my girlfriend came with... She came... Zoe came to...

San Francisco and Portland and I think she kind of thought it was gonna be like on some vacation type shit and it was just like nope we just we landed at two o'clock the show's at seven we got time to like set our stuff down at the hotel get a meal and then it's time for shows yeah you wake up in the morning and it's kind of like you know it's always like time to go back to work when you're on tour it's tough where'd you guys play in San Francisco San Francisco we did Cobbs

Fun. Yeah. That's fun. I like it. I like San Francisco a lot. I like it. I like it a lot. On tour, though, Portland was probably my favorite city. Did you guys do Helium? No, we did the Aladdin Theater. Yeah. Okay, Aladdin Theater. Hey, the boys are doing good. Yeah, we're doing all right. I like to see it. Well, hey, thanks for being on. I think the world of you. Yeah, thanks, man.