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So, hey guys! Hi guys! Hi! Yeah, we wanted to get to the questions because we didn't get to do it in the first episode, so...
Dealing with rejection when I gave everything. Rejection is God's redirection. I don't think they rejected you. God protected you. God removed them. And if you really trust the Lord, and I know it's hard when someone just abandoned you and leaves you, but it truly is God's protecting.
protecting you. God's closed doors are covered in goodness and his plans are greater than yours. Yeah. Yeah. And I think too, like you can rest easy knowing that you gave your all. You know what I mean? Rest in that. You did what you were supposed to do. And if it wasn't enough for that person, that's not the person for you. And I know that's really hard, but I've said it before. I'll say it again. I don't believe in rejection. I don't believe there's such thing. No. If I'm not for somebody, I'm
It's not my fault. If they want something different, if they want something better, which I don't believe in that either. I don't think there's better. I think there's different. And just have peace in that. Like, they're not for you. So what? It's okay. It's really okay. You'll find the person who is for you. I know rejection is so hard, but just understand that we have to trust God and his plans, and they are so much greater than ours, and he is not.
Jesus is the most compassionate person. Do you think he's going to take someone away from us that he has for us? Exactly. Yeah. No, he's not. Really rest in that. Rest in knowing that. So when you get that feeling of just sickness inside, like, oh, my God, I miss them. I want them. God isn't going to take someone away that's meant for you. Mm hmm.
And if they're gone and the one thing that I say to myself, oh, I have said to myself, I say, God, I'm going to trust you in this. And if they're for me, I know you'll bring them back. If they're not, keep them away. Yeah, so true. He's listening and he's there for you and he will and he's protecting you. Understand that.
Next question. Somebody asked, what do you do? How do you know if somebody is bringing you closer to God or if they're pulling you from them, from him? I would say because I have been in a relationship where
someone really was pulling me from God. And I didn't even know because I thought I was still reading my Bible. I was still praying. So, I mean, a telltale sign of somebody's pulling you from God is if you stop praying or if you get away from the Bible, you stop doing your normal godly activities that you usually do. In this specific relationship, I was being pulled from God spiritually so hard. I, and it's because this,
Relationship was inhabiting my life like I was making an idol out of it without even knowing it was just taking up. So this person was like a vampire almost like just sucking the life out of me and like requiring so much from me spiritually that I had nothing left to give God.
And so you know when somebody is pulling you from God. If you used to hear God and you're not hearing him anymore, that person is pulling you from God. If you used to wake up and talk to God all day, but now you're spending too much time talking to this person and it's taking up away from your time with Jesus, they're pulling you from God. Yeah, I think for me, the first thing that comes to my head is
When you say, are they pulling you from God? Or if they're not from God, better yet. It would be...
if they're not believers oh if they're not if they're not spending as much time in god as you are and they're not leading you to god and leading you i would say they're not they're 100 not from god if you have a man who's so submitted in god and wants to pray with you and prays with you before meals and wants to go to church with you every sunday that is
Yeah. That is an equally yoked relationship and that is 100% from God. Yeah. And he's constantly trying and just bringing you closer to him. And yeah, that's the most... Yeah. We talked about it last time. Does the person love you the way that God does? Like, is he making... Is he building you up and speaking and breathing life into you the way that God breathes life into us? Or is he breathing death into you and making you insecure and making you a shell of yourself and...
You know what I mean? These are all signs if somebody is from God or not. We got the question, what really is a man of God? Yeah. Yeah.
When a man loves God, it positively impacts how he loves you. It influences his actions. It influences his values. It influences his character. And it changes the foundation of the relationship. Do you agree? Yeah. His commitment and loyalty and his devotion to God will inspire him to be committed. I am such a firm believer in that.
He will know the significance of standing by your side through the really rough times and the good times. He's not just going to up and leave you. Yeah. He's going to stick by you. That's the man of God. Yeah.
You know what a man of God is? I really think that it's someone, and I know this is very extreme, but you know what? Marriage is really extreme. And so it's important to take extreme measures to make sure that you're with the right person. I think a true man of God is somebody who would stay with you through the worst times. Like, God forbid you lost a limb. Yeah. And you know what I'm going to say? I'm going to get really gangster with it right now. You need a rider. A
And I'm not talking about someone who's going to like, you know, whatever. You need someone who's going to go through hell with you. Go through the hell with you. You know, people say, and I know like love is patient and love is kind. It's not always going to be kind though. It's going to get really hard. Love is like...
I don't believe that love is always easy. Love is hard. And that love feeling of the butterflies, it goes away. And then who's going to stick by you through that and make the choice every single day? Because by the way...
Like people think, oh, love like the Cinderella story. No, love is a choice. It's a continuous choice that you make every single day to say, you know what? I choose this person. I choose this person and I'm going to choose to love them every day. And though we're going to get through, go through such messes and fights and we're going to have children and we're going to go through a lot. Yeah. I
I'm going to stick by them and I'm going to make that choice every day. That's love. And I believe that is what a man of God is. Well, I'm telling you, that's why God...
tells us so much to rely on him instead of our feelings because our feelings are so deceitful our heart it says in the bible that our heart is deceitful we can't listen to it because guess what you're gonna get married and then you're gonna get to a part in your marriage where you're not gonna feel that in love and then you're gonna be like oh then maybe we should just get divorced and go find people that we are in love with and then you're just gonna keep doing it over and
And over and over again. And get that high again. That first... That, like, that rush. That, no. No. I mean...
let's just have the most like grounded and mature conversation right now. You need to choose somebody who has the same intention about dating and marriage as you and about life and about family. Someone who is on the same exact wavelength that family above all is the most important thing in life. Your marriage and your children come before absolutely everything. Before time with the boys, before vacation with the girls, like everything
Because again, the feelings are fleeting. They change. They lie. One day you're going to feel in love. The next day you might not. And so you need to be in a relationship that's grounded in biblical truth that we do choose each other every day, no matter what, because we are under covenant, under God. We are in covenant under God. And we made a commitment to one another. Yeah. And you know what else we always talk about too, which is so important. I
I feel like that three-year mark, that three-year mark, that is when people give up. And let me tell you, that's when it gets good. Because if you stick with each other, the three-year mark, it's like you've been with each other for a long time. Those feelings start to subside. And then it gets comfortable. The things that you once thought were cute about each other are kind of annoying now. We say it all the time, the three-year mark. Yeah. Yeah.
And that's when you have to really stick together through that. Yeah, absolutely. And then you enter into a new – it's like getting refined. And then you go through a hard part and then you enter a new part of the relationship that is –
You're so you've been through so much together and then it gets beautiful and then you might go through a hard time again. That's what love is. It's just that's what marriage is. And you know what? Let's fight the good fight and let's let's let's get married and let's try to stay married and go into marriage. Like, I don't know. We live in Hollywood and it's weird out here and like people get married for no reason.
They get married without the intention of even staying together forever. I'm sure nobody gets married with the intention that maybe we might divorce, but like they certainly aren't being like, we're going to stay together and stick it out. And it's just like, then what are you getting married?
Yeah, and we get a lot of questions too, like how do we know if we should marry someone? And again, I think it's just, it's a choice. But I just want to...
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Yeah.
Yeah. That's the person you need to stick with because let me tell you something, that is so rare. It's so rare. And it's just when you find someone who truly loves you, it's so special. Yeah. And don't think the grass is greener because it's not. Thank you. Biggest thing ever, thinking the grass is greener.
The grass is green where you water it. We know that. But like, I feel like in relationships, when you get to a certain part where you're not in the honeymoon stage anymore and then you're like, ah, but you know, there might be something you're going to go through the same thing with somebody else. You are like, that's why commitment, you have to commit for a reason, because if you don't make that commitment, you're just going to keep doing the same thing.
Thank you. That is why marriage is so important. And we hear people say all the time, oh, why do I have to have a piece of paper? Why do I have to get married? Why can't we do it in like six or seven years? Well, I'll tell you why. Because it's a commitment you make to each other. So you don't say, oh, no, I'm going to go find the next best thing. I'm going to go do this. Oh, you want to act like that? Well, I'm going to leave. No. And that's what's so beautiful about marriage. And that's what we've lost in this day and age, you know? Yeah.
And that's another thing about a man of God. He'll be guided by his strong morals and ethical values. Can I reiterate what I've said in the last episode of what like a true masculine man is? Because I already knew this, but being with someone who is truly like the embodiment of masculinity has changed everything.
So a masculine man would be described as like a rock. He is so solid in who he is and his emotions that he is able to be our rock when we're highly emotional. We come to him with all these feelings, emotions and whatever, and they can be able to be our rock and be unmoved by us. Like we, our emotions don't affect them because they're so solid in their emotions. Yes. No, that's, oh,
Yes. Yeah. Because we, yeah, go. No, no, go ahead. No, because we are so emotional and we need someone so masculine that can just be so patient and just, I, I,
I just love what you said. Yeah, that's a true side of masculinity to me is if I can come to you. I'm not saying that you let your girl come to you crazy and like, you know, swinging. Like, that's not okay. But I can come to you and I can be like this, this, that, and the other and like blah, blah, blah, whatever. And you're able to just sit there and not be affected. Ugh. It's, ugh. I couldn't ask for anything more in a man than a man who just stands there and being like, I hear you. All right.
That's your problem. Here's my solution. I just like a dude who's like yeah, you're going through something right now And I'm I'm so masculine and solid that I'm not even gonna let it affect me. I'm just gonna help you I'm gonna make it better. I'm not gonna add fuel to the fire for you I know we just talked about this, but if men could just understand one thing it's like if you just take care of stuff and
We will give you the world. Yeah. When I have someone like literally just taking care of things, being so masculine, making me feel so safe. I'm just, I'm literally, I will literally be the best version of myself. Someone who takes initiative, takes charge and is just like,
makes the plan. That's something that's really lost on men these days. And again, I get it. It's not just the men's fault. Modern day feminism has done it. And like,
Back in the last episode, I might be afraid to say that. I'm not anymore because it comes from love. I can't believe that that's a thing. Yeah, it's... It's all to empower women. That's what the enemy does, though. He perverts things and he blinds us to think that something is good when it's actually bad. Like, he told Eve, you should...
eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. It's good for you. You'll be like God. You'll think like you'll know it all like God does. And he made her think it was good when it was really bad. I know. I know. And I that's literally what our world is right now. Yeah. It's like this feminine feminism. Like I know men, men need to like feel their feelings. Of course they do. Of course they do. Of course they need to feel their feelings. They don't have to not be men to feel their feelings.
The most masculine men I have ever known have all been in touch with their feelings. Jesus was the most masculine man ever. And he was so nice. And he was so, and like, you know what the thing, it's like a powerful man isn't actually a man who can do no harm. A powerful man is a man who can do harm and chooses not to. Yes. Yes.
I just said yes. Yes. No, it's so true. Yeah. Okay, we're going to give some secrets on how to deal because we're women. One day we're going to have a guy on here who will tell you the secrets of being masculine because we can't answer all of those. But to be secrets with men.
One thing that I know is you make men... We love this. What? You make men feel like something was their idea. Men want to feel masculine. This is how you build a man up, all right? Yeah, yeah. You make them think that it was their idea. Oh, yeah. Or even if they're like... Wait, what was it? No, if you say something, they're like, well, no, no, no, you got to do it this way. You say...
you know what? You're so right. They love to feel like the man. Yeah. If you make them feel like the man, they're going to be, you'll see. They're going to be the man. But that's what we said in last episode that like we have to as women because someone said, how do you be a godly woman? You build your man up. How do you do that? You speak life to him. Yeah. Tell him, even if he's, what I've noticed
is like even when somebody's not acting exactly how I want them to, I speak to them as if they are. Yes. And it inspires them too. Yes, it diffuses everything. Oh, 100%. If somebody isn't actually helping me around the house, for example, I'm not even married, but like say someone wasn't helping me around the house and I went to them and I was like, hey, I just want you to know like I really appreciate everything you've been doing. I love when you help me around the house, it makes my life so much easier. You're the best for that. It's basic psychology. They're going to be like,
Oh, cool. I get rewarded if I do this. I look good if I do this, so I'm going to go do this. That's just the mind of a man. Yeah, speak life to them. She just had a situation where she was like,
And no, it's not being manipulative, but it's knowing what to do to get a good read. This is how you live in harmony within your relationships. She knows that if she says to a guy, you know, I'm asking you, I need your help in this. And I'm asking you because I really trust you. That guy is going to be like,
Me? You trust me? Of course I'll do it for you. I'll do whatever you want. You know what I mean? They love it. Oh, what do I do in my waiting? A waiting season is not a wasted season. I...
I spent this waiting season seriously digging so deep into my surrender. That's the first thing you need to do. First of all, let's surrender. And I'm not saying surrender and then go back to doing what you were doing a week later. I mean surrender. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. He knows the plans he has for you.
And speak that into your life. Like really, really soak into that. He knows better than we do. He knows what our plans are and who he wants us to be with and what he has for us. If you're in a waiting season, I know for me, my waiting season,
He was building my character. He's been building my character, building me into who he wants me to be, building me into the woman and the wife that I'm going to be for somebody. He's built this past year. I couldn't even like being alone and surrendering to him and saying, I give it to you. I trust you. And just really focusing on myself and my friendships and who I am as a woman, um,
I, whoever gets to be my husband is, and I can just say this so confidently, is literally going to be the luckiest guy because I have really gotten to dig deep into myself and focus on myself. And that's what I feel like you just do in your waiting season. Yeah. Rest in the fact that he's working behind the scenes and orchestrating everything together for you. Yeah. So true. Yeah. One of the fruits of the spirits is patience. Yeah. Yeah.
You don't know what he's doing. Maybe he's teaching you to be patient, to have faith, to trust in him. Like I always say, I had little to no faith. Now, through this waiting season, I have so much faith that all of my no's and my rejections or whatever it is, whether it be in relationships or careers, when somebody says no, I don't even flinch. I know it's God guiding me. I know it's because God doesn't want that for me. I have so much faith that nothing even affects
Yeah.
Paul said in the Bible that because Paul never got married because he traveled the globe spreading the gospel. So if he he would not be able to properly like take care of a wife by being all over the place for Jesus. And so he dedicated his life to the Lord and never got married. And he literally says in Scripture, like, it is better to not get married. Although get married if you have to, if you can't resist temptation of being alone and you need help.
you know, to be with somebody, get married. But he says it's better to be alone because you can focus on God. And there's no better relationship, not even your marriage, not even your romantic one, than your relationship with God. And sometimes when I'm... I've said it before, but like sometimes when I'm in a relationship, I literally think about, oh, I miss being single, man. Like I miss just simply for the fact that like I had so much time with God and now I feel pulled from it. And I imagine when I'm married with children, I am going...
As beautiful as it's going to be, and I'm going to love having a bunch of munchkins running around, I'm going to be like, remember the day where I could wake up and just read my Bible and have my time with Jesus? But that's why you have... I'm going to say this to you, yes, but you and Christian, you guys do do that. And that's why it's so important to marry a man of God so you guys can do that together. Oh, I mean, today...
I we read the Bible together every single day. We pray together every day. We pray for each other. All he does is pray for me. It's the cutest thing in the world. And like, yeah, that's but yeah, that's why it's important to be careful who you're with. And he absolutely brings me closer to God. And I know I bring him closer to God.
But even still, though, it's still like it's different when you have your alone time with Jesus. It is. So focus on that. He sure did that with me. My life is Jesus. The waiting season creates perseverance and it creates a deeper prayer life. And it's the most beautiful thing. And sometimes he will pull you away from things so you can really solely focus on him.
Can I be honest? Recently, I had a moment where I had, like, traveled. I was with my family. I was with friends. And I had a moment where I felt like I was with so many people. I was being so social. I literally got alone. I said, God, I'm ready for an isolation season. I'm tired. I'm like, I'm ready to spend a little time alone. It's actually so beautiful once you know the significance of a waiting season. Like, it's hard, but it's so cool. Can I just say, too, when you...
can stand on your own. It is going to change everything. Because I said this in I don't know what episode, but anyone can leave you at any time. No one's bound to you. And you just don't know what people can do. And when you're able to stand on your own, whoever leaves you, you know, you're good on your own. You always have to be good on your own before you can have a partnership. So true.
Somebody said dealing with men, women in the corporate office setting while being married or committed and avoiding temptation. I was just going to say this is something I think about a lot, actually. And again, I'm not married, but I've been in relationships and I think it's obviously the most important thing to be faithful, devoted, loyal. Don't do ever anything that you don't want your person doing. And I think that.
You can be the most faithful, loyal person, but things can get messy and things get like you have to set such clear boundaries and like run from temptation. You have to avoid temptation. Don't flirt with it ever.
I think in like you're saying dealing with men and women like in your office, in your workspace, like you have to work with those people every day. You have to pray about it and you set an intention every single day with God that I am going to be the most loyal person
wife or husband and I will never every decision that I make I will think about my partner beforehand and I will never do anything that could put me in like a compromised position you know yeah I think
That goes hand in hand with being with someone who's so deep in their faith, because when you're deep in your faith, you have strong values. Yeah, absolutely. And you are going to the word. Yeah. You live in the word. And when you live in the word, you're not going to act upon those things if you're truly a man of God or a woman of God. Yeah. So, yeah, I think...
Yeah, you bring it to God, you pray on it and you really make that decision. Yeah, and set boundaries and avoid temptation. That's just what keeps coming to me. Avoid temptation. Don't even go near it. Like if you feel some weird things happening, you talk to this person and it makes you feel something, you cut off communication with that person. That could easily be the enemy sending someone to...
make you compromise the integrity of your relationship and so you really know again like nobody goes into a marriage thinking they're going to be unfaithful nobody sets up i mean maybe some people set out to cheat but like a lot of the time people end up in it and it happens quick and the devil is he schemes and he like hits you where you're weak so just you be careful
It's so true. It's so true. But God is more powerful than the devil. And as long as we stay in the word, we're good. I'm just thinking about when I said, and you can get in your head and you think it's you.
How do you know if you're in the right relationship? Well, do your values align? Yeah. Do your values align? I think that's when you know if someone's right for you. Are they leading you? Are they leading you to God like we talked about? Yeah.
Are they bringing you closer? Like when it comes with such confusion and anxiety and they're not bringing you to God, I think that's a clear indication that they are not for you. A hundred percent. I want to read a little bit of this scripture that says Ephesians 5, 25 to 29 gives like a clear explanation, I think, of what husband of what marriage and relationship should look like.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
So...
Men are supposed to love their wives the way that Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church so much. Men are supposed to love their wives as if it's them. You're supposed to be one flesh. That is the extreme way in which men and women are supposed to love each other. Men are supposed to love their wives. Wives are supposed to respect their husbands. And you know what? Let me tell a story of one time I was in a relationship and we were having a lot of conflict. And I think this is a clear indicator of like,
Why sometimes there's tension in relationships who are having a lot of conflict and we couldn't understand why we couldn't get it together We're both good people. We love one another. We're not the type to fight like this or to our like, why can't we get it together? We're not like this and what I realized was I were going through this and as soon as it starts to get resolved it came into my head without ever even reading the scripture of saying men are
Mm-hmm.
And that's where the tension came from. Men want respect. Women want love. And it is hard because we want different things. So we might be giving different things. But it's important to remember that through conflict, men don't stop loving your wives right and women don't stop respecting your husbands during conflict. Yeah, respect is one of the biggest things.
For me, if you start that disrespect with name calling, you are so doomed and don't even waste your time. The one thing you never do is call each other names. That is not a godly relationship. And once somebody ever disrespects me and calls me a name, that is not. The second a guy thinks he can call me out of my name.
It's very funny. That's not even like we don't even play with stuff like that. No. Let's answer another. Yeah. How do you help your partner grow closer to God? You keep the word of God at the center of your relationship. It says in Psalms 114 105. Your word is a lamb for my feet, a light on my path.
So if the word isn't the center of your relationship, that means you're operating in a place of darkness. So true. So true. Yeah. If the...
If the spirit of God is not dwelling within you, both of you, and in the middle of your relationship, you're not going to love each other, right? That's just the bottom line. Yeah, you keep it at the center. If you keep God in the word and you're in the center of your relationship, you truly will have the most magical relationship. Yeah.
How to find a godly man. I think it's a very simple, short answer. You become the person that a godly man would want. Yeah. How you carry yourself, how you are in your own life. You know. Yeah. Well, we got a lot of questions down. I really enjoyed this. Me too. Relationships is something that we're probably going to keep talking about. It's just like...
At the end of the day, you want to have peace and harmony in your relationships. And I think that's what we want to encourage and inspire people to do. Like, men and women have been...
put against each other for such a long time and it's time for us to take that power back from the enemy come together and realize there is a way in which we can live harmoniously with each other yeah and serve each other in the way that the other one needs to be served yeah and again serving each other is the most honorable beautiful thing you can do it really is we're in it together
Yeah. Do you want to say a prayer? Dear God, I thank you that my name is written in the book of life. I am saved by the blood of Jesus. God, I thank you that I'm right with you. You've taken away all my blemish, stain, and sin because of what Jesus did on the cross. Jesus, I choose today to live by faith and not by sight. I trust in you, Jesus. Today, I believe the word of God is living and active, and I will walk by the word of God.
Jesus, you are the way, the truth, and the life. And today I choose to walk by the truth. And I renounce and reject every lie from the enemy in Jesus' name. I receive your peace today, God, as I rely on Jesus and not myself. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. That was beautiful. Guys, Jesus loves you so much.
Pray to him about everything. Invite him into every relationship in your life. And read your Bible. Read the Gospels every day. You know what I really want to put in the description box? I want to put in the description. So we listen to this video. Sometimes it's really hard for people to pray. And there's a prayer that you can... It's on YouTube. You speak it after...
Yeah, it's called Grace for Purpose Prayers on YouTube. I'll put in the description. You can click. They have a bunch, hundreds of prayers that you can say and you can say it along with them. It has scripture. I say these prayers every day. You can literally do it while you're getting ready. Yeah. It's beautiful to just soak into and listen to. Mm-hmm.
And speak it. Okay. Thank you guys so much. We love you so much. We love you. God bless you. God bless you. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Peace, peace be upon you in your spirit, in your heart, in your mind. In Jesus' name. In Jesus' name.
