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Hi guys. Today, as the title suggests, I'm going to teach you how to be hot and cool just like me because I'm genuinely a pro at it. So, okay, I'm just going to jump straight into business. I'm not even going to mess around today. If you're not confident, like delusionally confident, like you think things about yourself that aren't true in a positive way, it's never going to work. It's never going to work. We are all quite shit. Everyone has faults and that can just be completely disregarded for this video because we're not going to focus on it.
When I was my most confident, like more confident than I ever have been in the last, I don't know, year, I had no reason to be, no reason to be other than the fact that I just reckoned I was the shit. And like, okay, I'm not going to sit here and really shit on looks because being hot physically has nothing to do with being hot. Like, trust me. But just to like give myself some credibility in this conversation, I am going to show you what the fuck I look like during this time of my life. That's a video of me talking naked.
about I'm not sure what. Here's a picture of me crying when I wasn't so fucking depressed. I became psychotically confident. I'm gonna tell you how I did it and how it affects me now. Okay. I remember walking down a road one day and genuinely thinking to myself, I think I'm the hottest bitch that's ever existed. And like, I wouldn't say that now, but that's a fault. I genuinely could have told you straight face, I am probably the hottest bitch to ever walk the earth. Also the coolest, also the funniest. Here's
Here's the thing. If you're not delusional, you're never going to get where you want to go because the fact is, is it's a tough world. People are mean. You're not the, you're not the most qualified to do something. There's always going to be someone better. There's also always going to be someone worse though. So you might as well get the fucking job or do the fucking thing or like strut like you're the hottest bitch alive because yeah, you're not the hottest bitch alive, but like,
Neither is literally like Gigi Hadid. Like she's not the hottest bitch alive either, but she probably thinks she is. In fact, if she didn't think she was, like she wouldn't be the multimillionaire that she obviously is. Do you know what I mean? Like she's not sitting at home crying because she's not the hottest bitch alive. She's like walking every runway in the world because she might as well be the hottest bitch alive. Like the hottest bitch alive isn't in the same room, is she? No. So she's not going for the same opportunities. The thing is, you literally need to like ignore the facts.
if your skin is bad if your grades are down if your parents tell you that you're a piece of lazy shit like fuck them it doesn't matter you might be you might well be but it doesn't matter if you don't believe it because then you can like move as if you're not that person do you understand what I mean like there's this whole thing of like oh take accountability we're not talking about that if you're a genuinely bad person and you're not my problem but like if you're just like a little bit down in the dumps no you're not
No, you're not. Here's the thing. I was listening to the podcast. It's the Aware and Aggravated by Leo Skeppy. And he basically in that podcast episode, he talks about like misplaced confidence. I really hated that he called that misplaced confidence.
Anyways, he was basically like, you have to prove to yourself. His point was, you have to prove to yourself that you are the shit so that you believe that you are the shit. So he was coming from the angle of, don't be delusional. Prove to yourself that you have reason to be confident. And I
And I admire that, but I think you can just lie to yourself. It literally doesn't matter. I've never stepped foot in a gym in a day in my life. Do you know why I don't step foot in the gym? I don't want to mess with perfection. That is my genuine God-given reason as to why I don't go to the gym. Because I think if I stop working out, it's going to like displace bits of fat where I like those bits of fat, or it's going to like slim down where I don't want it to be slimmed down, or it's going to like over this or over that or like change my shape. And am I the world's biggest narcissist? Maybe the last little bit of my life where I've been like working...
around like social media and people who are in the public eye, a lot of them are fucking deluded. And it's not to say that they're not good at their art form or they're not genuinely doing good in their line of work. That's not. But a lot of them, like their egos are unmatched. And when I first came across them, I was like, you're insufferable. I don't want to be around you. And then the more time that I actually had to spend around them, I was like,
If I don't get on this delusional trend, I'm going to fall behind because these people are so unashamedly confident that I don't like them as a normal person. But they are, it is the sole thing that is like pushing them forward in their career.
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In 2020, the brand launched the Mejuri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals. Because fine jewelry doesn't have to cost the world. Feel good about your jewelry in more ways than one. Start stacking your favorites, shop online or visit the website to find a store near you.
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To me, their behavior was obscure. It was actually uncomfortable to be around, like the way they would behave. I was like, oh my God, like, are you not embarrassed? And then I realized, no, they're not embarrassed. And that's also why they're a fucking millionaire. Like rich people aren't embarrassed. They haven't moved through life doubting themselves. I feel like there's a level of confidence that does not draw people to you. And it's, there's a very fine line between
Having a lot of self-belief, knowing that you're going to do what's best for you, you're going to show up for you, you're going to make good decisions for you and that you are, you also have this delusional belief that you are the best in your field because you're never going to be the best in your field, right? Like you could literally, like if you're academic, you could study for 50 years and
there's probably still an 18 year old that was born with some fucking neurological gift and they're better at it than you do you know what I mean like you're never going to be the best you're a model you're not going to be the best you're the most you're voted the most beautiful girl and in LA okay well there's a girl in fucking Slovenia doing it better do you know what I mean but like you can only be delusional to think that you are the best but you just should be and
There's a level where the delusion becomes very unattractive. I used to know this girl and I cannot stand her. She would outwardly describe herself as an alpha female. That is the most unattractive thing I have ever heard. First of all, I don't think...
ever humans ran in like wolf packs. I don't think we've ever had that kind of hierarchy where there would be an alpha. Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're not dogs. So you have a leader, right? Like a diplomatic one, because humans as a species have this great thing where we can communicate, which is what sets us apart from, you know, dogs, which need things like alphas. So you have a leader, which is different. It's not an alpha. And
And those leaders have qualities that attract people to them, again, because they can talk. So they have to say things that you can swallow. Because if they're saying things that are completely insufferable, they're not going to be a leader for very long. So you also have to just have this kind of like... I think confidence is so great when it's just inwards. Okay, I've talked a little about being insufferable and being delusional, and that's wonderful. But it has to be like...
Such a fine line. It has to be yours. You know you're the best. You know you're doing what's right. You know you've got your back.
If you really know that and you really believe it, whether it's a delusion or not, it should only affect you. If you're trying to shout your confidence from the rooftops, it's screaming the opposite of what you think it is. It's telling everyone that you don't believe in yourself, that you... Not that you need validation from someone else, but yeah, that you need validation from someone else, which is, again, the opposite of confidence. Although validation is a valid human need sometimes, and it's okay if you need it, because there was a time in my life where I really fucking needed validation. Anyways...
I really needed validation from literally anyone that would give it to me because I had been gaslit into thinking that my experiences weren't real. So, like, anyone that could tell me that what I was experiencing was valid, I needed to hear it. So, like, sometimes it's valid. You need validation, but...
when it comes to your experiences with yourself, the only person whose elevation should matter is yours. So you shouldn't be looking anywhere else, which means you shouldn't be mouthing off about your confidence. That's how I think. You should just enter a room knowing all this shit and talk to people like a normal fucking human being. I really don't understand people who need to like mouth off about how cool they are or how great they are. Like, no. I just didn't like how he said misplaced confidence. Like, you can't be confident if you're not genuinely doing things to like...
build and build and build like
That kind of suggests you have to start from zero. And I will admit in the periods of my life where I am showing up for myself and I'm doing things like getting my work done on time and like even just small things like taking proper care of my hygiene, like making sure to brush my teeth in the morning and the night. Like sometimes I skip on that because I'm depressed or I just don't care about myself anymore. Not skipping out on things like that, showing yourself in the small things that you love yourself and that you deserve. Okay, here's something really disgusting and specific. I used to never flush after I would use the toilet.
I'm sorry, that's gross because I live by myself. I will add that. Okay, I was living alone during this period of my life, but I just didn't care. I was like, it wastes water and like, I'm the only person here and it doesn't bother me or it doesn't bother me that much. And I was really, really depressed during this time in my life. And I still stand by it. If it's yellow, let it mellow. Okay, you don't need to flush every single pee if you live alone. Maybe if you live with other people, you should probably flush your peepees. But I, if I'm living alone, listen, my pee's not getting flushed immediately. Okay.
I don't care. So anyways... Is that something I want to share publicly? Yes. So anyways, I wasn't flushing ever. And I was like, okay, you know what? I deserve to, when I use the toilet, have a clean toilet to use. I deserve that. So I started flushing the toilet. And then that was like a message that I reinforced to myself all the time of like...
You do deserve cleanliness and respect and hygiene, okay? Those are three things that you're reinforcing just by flushing your peepees and your poopoos. So simple, so easy. And then it started to, like, spiral. And I'd be like, my friend would disrespect me and I'd be like, hey, I didn't deserve that. I deserve respect and I deserve love. So then I would...
talk to them about it I'd be like hey what you said upset me and then it landed to like healthy relationships and I was like oh my god wow and then I started to respect myself even more and then when someone else a stranger say or a new person would come into my life and disrespect me in some way I wouldn't take it and I started to like elevate and step up and step up do you know what I mean and like he was this this guy in his podcast which I did like his podcast by the way I loved it I think he had a lot of good points but he was largely talking about the gym
And I was just like, personally, I don't put any real self-worth on what my body looks like, but I can appreciate that that's because I'm a slim young girl. Like, I'm fine either way. Do you know what I mean? Like, no one is rating me any lesser anymore, like now versus if I had been going to the gym, especially with the fucking kind of clothes I wear. No one can tell. But obviously, if you're like,
I think he was like an older guy. Was he talking about thinning hairlines and stuff? I don't know. But anyways, I understand if your body is like my body, I feel like it goes unnoticed. Do you know what I mean? So it's like people just like brush over it. Like I'm a short girl with no tits and really no ass. But like I'm slim and it's just not an affronting body. Like I feel like you just skim over it and look at the face.
as you should, but it's like, you talk to me, maybe I'll say something intelligent, maybe I won't, and you're better. I don't see anything wrong with thinking that you're the shit. Now, if you're going around saying that you're an alpha female, I do have a problem with that, because you're terrible. But, like, if you just think you're the shit in your own head, and you don't... Also, I will add, I feel like this just goes without saying, but just in case there's any stupid people watching, if you...
think you're the shit and thus other people are below you, you stink. You fucking ew. That's not the way it works. I hate to tell you it's really not. Your confidence or lack thereof should say nothing about anybody that ever comes into contact with you. But discipline also matters like so much like
I think more highly of myself when I see that I'm doing things in my greater favor or that I am like even like listening to a gut instinct. That's something that I've done for myself that shows that I respect myself. That is going to manifest in all areas of my life. Work, school, play, sex. It's going to be everywhere. Like I'm going to genuinely perform better across all aspects of my life because I'm
I think that there is, I am treating myself better, I am being better, I'm doing better, I'm growing up, I'm evolving, I'm moving on, versus doing something that is tacky and that I've done a hundred times and I've made these bad decisions before. Why am I not growing? Why am I not evolving? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm stuck in that fucking loop. Like, and then you think I'm going to go to work and perform well? No. You think I'm going to go sit that exam and get my best grade?
No, like you have to be evolving all the time in order to be confident, I think. Don't let anything like stagnate you. If you're with a guy and he's keeping you or a girl or them and they're keeping you in the same fucking spot, get rid of them.
This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. You know, I had a thought the other day. Since Rwanda jewelry becomes something we only bought on special occasions, Mejuri approaches fine jewelry a little bit differently. Each one of their pieces is handcrafted by jewelers committed to quality craftsmanship as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Created by women for women, Mejuri is breaking down barriers in what has long been an exclusive and occasional category of men buying for women.
In 2020, the brand launched the Missouri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals. Because fine jewelry doesn't have to cost the world, feel good about your jewelry in more ways than one. Start stacking your favorites, shop online, or visit the website to find a store near you. I feel like that's the biggest fucking shame. Like, I see...
people I've seen myself I've seen my friends like get in these relationships or just like know a friend even like those friends that will just like tag you down and say shit to you all the fucking time like doubt you and then they plant these seeds of doubt and it's just like it kind of just keeps you in this one like spot and then you're just not it's just you just need people that are like pushing you constantly like sometimes people just say very little things to you
And then you evolve because of it. Like, I, when I met this one person, and they told me that the socks that I wear mattered. Because I'm a sucker for odd socks. And so I just will wear odd socks or, like, really old ones, like, ones with holes in them. I don't care. Like, baggy socks, shit socks, you know? And they were like, you really should start wearing...
pairs of socks and ones that fit you properly because you're just gonna like walk a bit taller in your day if you know that you're like put together underneath all the clothes where no one can even see and I was like bullshit like that's not fucking no I won't I don't care about my socks and then I walk into their fucking bathroom I hope they don't mind me saying this
and they're using like Aldi soap and Aldi shampoo and this person is like has enough money to like buy nice fucking shampoo right they were using a two-in-one and I was like what are you you're a millionaire what the fuck are you doing and they were like well I don't know like as a kid like this was like the nice shampoo like my parents bought me I've just never like given it a second thought it's like why would I buy anything else and I was like
look at where you live like you live in this like high-rise nice ass flat in the middle of London like what you mean you didn't think about buying a nice shampoo anyways my point there was like okay I will level up with my socks if you level up with your soap and they did and then I bought a bunch of new socks and it's just like now okay granted I do still wear socks all the time I need to throw out my old pairs like I just need to get rid of them and then buy like a million pairs of new socks and then I will never be sockless again
But I do feel better when I wear socks and I'm far more conscious about my sock. They would disagree, but I am far more conscious about my sock choices. Don't text me about this because I am more conscious about my sock choices. And they have a new shitty conditioner once or shitty a two-in-one since then. And I was so proud of myself. And the next time I walked into the bathroom, I see a sock. And I feel like that was such an example that stuck in my mind because...
The shampoo you use and the socks that you wear, no one else is seeing that. No one else is knowing about that. It's like a personal thing that you do that helps you walk a little bit taller in your day and move with a little bit more confidence and just know I'm a little bit more put together and I've evolved to be a little bit more put together. So...
Now I have this random, again, deluded confidence that I'm a little bit better now. Does your shampoo change as a person? No. But am I more confident now because I'm using fancy shampoo? Yeah. Like, and it makes no fucking sense. Like, don't get me wrong. Like, it doesn't make sense. Like, why does the pair of socks that I'm wearing improve my day? It doesn't. But it's the same thing as like when your underwear and your bra match. I don't wear bras, but when I used to wear bras...
I would have a good day if it was matched to my underwear because it's just nice to feel nice. If you've showered in the morning, you probably feel a little bit better during that day than if you've, who's texting me, than if you showered the night before. And I mean like deluded pieces of your life that add to your confidence and looks like better you as a person for literally no reason. That's delusional and it works. It's good. It's just the same way as like, you're going to feel more productive and more like,
of a bad bitch if you're in a nice fancy apartment say you're in a high rise in a busy city and you've got a skyline view and you're stood by the windows with like a fancy espresso in your hand and you're looking at them and you're on the phone taking a work call that work call is gonna feel amazing you're gonna feel so in control and like as opposed to you standing in the fucking park and you're
in your shit clothes like you didn't even get out of your pajamas you're walking your dog you took a work call it's just gonna feel shit it's gonna feel draggy or you're in your bedroom at your mom's house it's just gonna feel like you're not on top of things there is no difference on the contents of the work call if you're in your bedroom or you're in that nice fucking skyline view apartment like there's really no difference i've talked about confidence now it's how to be hot and sexy because again i am somewhat of a professional on that subject area so i'm
Okay, here's the thing. There is no such thing as ugly. And I have discussed this with my best friend like a million times before because we literally used to say to each other all the time, like, we have never seen someone that is ugly before.
And I stand by that so strongly. I have never met an ugly person in my life. There are people who are obviously conventionally attractive and you know who they are. Like, there are people who meet that standard that, like, turn your head when you see them or you see them on your fucking For You page and you're like, that is, like, a...
that person, like, I want to look like them or, oh, I wonder what skincare they use or, oh, I wonder how they did their makeup. Like, or I want their lips or I want their eyes. Like, you know, there are conventionally attractive features, desirable features, but I couldn't really point out to you what I would consider the opposite of that because everyone...
is so unique. Do you know what does make someone fucking ugly? Okay, here's a good example. When I got with my ex, I thought she was the hottest bitch alive. I literally thought that I had pulled like the greatest, the world's greatest. Then we break up and I see that she's actually an evil wench and I take another look. I rub my eyes. I take another look. Oh my God.
That might be the biggest regret of my life. Like, she's the least attractive person I've ever seen. Her face didn't change. Her haircut did. But her face didn't.
So like why would, why did, why does she go from like hot sexy bitch to evil wench girl? Genuinely the way this person behaved, I could never find them physically attractive ever again because I see it on their face. I see their words on their face. I see like their evil intentions on their face.
And now whenever I bump into someone who, God forbid, looks similar to my ex, I genuinely, I think they're a bad person. And I have to talk myself down from it. Like if for some reason I genuinely have to like interact with the person, I don't like them. But I obviously know that there's a, like it's just because they're reminding me of my ex. Like I think they look evil. But that's the same person I once found so beautiful. So like I genuinely don't think that there's ugly people or like unattractive people.
I don't... Like, my eyeballs do not recognize it. I can't explain it in any other way than that. They don't see it like that. And I feel like it goes in my spectrum because obviously there's, like, more attractive people, but it goes from, like, attractive, like, beautiful person to, like...
hot, sexy, desirable, I want to look like you kind of person. But like, it doesn't really go like down unless you're a bad fucking person. Then you're ugly. Like, it literally is on your face. I remember this Roald Dahl book.
Let me find the quote.
How nice is that Roald Dahl? I must have read that when I was like seven years old and it has fucking stuck with me so strongly. And I think it's true. And that's the way that I like to behave as a human being. I think if you say nice things and you're a good person, it just shows. You can fucking tell. Like people can look me...
mean, but they can also look lovely and then you learn that they're mean. I think being confident allows good things to come into your life. Like, I genuinely believe that I am capable, that I deserve good things, that good things are on their way to me. It's like manifesting. Those things are going to come. If I'm sat there putting up every block against good energy that I can, I'm talking down on myself. I'm talking mad to myself. I don't believe that I'm fun. I don't believe that I am good at my job. I don't believe that I am worthy of having friendships or interesting to my friendships.
Any good vibes that are on my way, on the way to me, like, they're just... They're gonna do a fucking U-turn at that point because you're like, are you ready to receive them? Like, yeah, good things are still gonna happen to you even if you're in the fucking... Down in the dumps. Like...
I'm not saying it's the be all and end all, but I definitely think it helps. Like from a manifestation point of view, the way you talk to yourself, the way that you think of yourself is seriously going to affect what comes into your life or what you welcome into your life or what you bring into your life. And when you start believing that good things are meant for you and that you're ready to receive them because you have the ability to do good things with them and be like productive and
behave well in the world, then they're going to come. Because good things started happening to me when I became delusional. And then eventually the delusion wasn't even delusion anymore. I just became more of a capable person. Also, I take back a little bit what I've said about the deluded part because you do need to prove to yourself like time and time again that you are a good person in order to be confident.
fucking obviously like you can't be delusional like you can't be there like treating people fucking horribly and being a shit person and then also be deluded that you're a great person and thus you have loads of confidence okay that's unacceptable acceptable behavior but i'm kind of talking like you're a good person to people that don't suck like literally suck but
The times in my life where my confidence has been the lowest is when I have fumbled something in my personal life. Like I've been in a relationship and I've got out of it and I've thought, was that necessarily my best behavior? It might not even be like I'm the one like doing the bad things in the relationship. But if I've been in a bad relationship where the other person's being a piece of shit,
Here's the thing. I'm never concerned with what other people are doing. I don't care what you get up to. If we're in a relationship and you cheat on me, I'm going to spend one week crying over the fact that you cheated on me. And I'm going to spend four years crying over the fact that I let myself get cheated on. Like, what the fuck? I can't hold. The world is big. People are shit. Learn it. Deal with it. And then you just have to really keep yourself accountable to
Once you realize that, you realize how valuable it is to be defensive over yourself, be protective over yourself, have really fucking serious boundaries and don't let people cross them. Because the only person responsible for you having been hurt is you. Like I hate to say it and listen, sometimes you genuinely get bamboozled. Like someone is so good at lying, they're so undercover or you're young and you don't know any better. Look, everyone makes mistakes. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice.
50 times, shame on me, do you know what I mean? Like you are responsible for your well-being, no one else. And the world is full of creeps, like full of them. And I'm not saying like, oh there's some creeps. No, the world is full of creeps. Like more people you meet than not are gonna be weird and like slightly ill-intended. And not even ill-intended, but like underdeveloped fucking people, especially at our age. Like whether you're 16 or you're 22, like
People aren't fully developed, right? They don't always have impulse control to not hurt you. They could be a good person. They're still going to hurt you. They might not mean to. They might mean to. They might go out and cheat on you because they don't respect you. Or they might just fuck up because they're just not a fully formed human being yet and they don't know how to be perfect. You are the one responsible for making sure that doesn't happen.
And once you take control of that, that is when you can become confident and when you can start to stand in your own corner and really like have some fucking control over your own life. And I think that's where real confidence is born. You're not just going to come in and like flip your ship upside down anymore. Like that's not possible. You have to have confidence that you have your back. And once you have it,
that's when you can really start to walk with your head held a little bit higher, which I think is why people kind of say this is like big transformation of your 20s. Yeah, because that's what you've, that's what fucking happens. They could get fucked over in your teen years. You have weird friendships, weird relationships, whatever the fuck goes on in your teen years. Like you're in places you definitely shouldn't be, or at least I fucking was. Good, do it. It's important. And then you can grow the fuck up as you're meant to, but not before your due time. Like don't be boring.
Go pass out in that field first. Then when it's your time, you're going to grow up and you're going to start to be able to like walk with this confidence. For me, confidence has nothing to go to do with going to the fucking gym. That's like the dumbest shit ever. What the fuck does that have to do with confidence? Please, no. I hate that narrative. Shut up about the gym. It's always these men with their gyms. Shut up about it. I have bigger things to worry about.
than my abs and my confidence is coming from somewhere more well deeply rooted than the gym because I promise you one day you're going to be old anyways and then where's your confidence going to be it needs to be coming from somewhere else maybe I'm just bitter that I don't go to the gym listen I bought a fucking gym membership and I just won't go I bought it like three months ago and then I bought my puppy a week later and um I've barely left the house since
She keeps shitting in her crate too. Does anyone know how I can fix that? No, what I've said in this podcast yet again, I don't know if I've said a million offensive things or if I've made a single good point, but I'm going to go and I have no plans for tonight. My friend invited me out to the pub, but I don't want to go.
I don't really drink because I don't really like it, but I used to at least be able to get drunk when I would drink. And now whenever I drink, I just like get like nauseous and tired and I don't get drunk or like, I don't know. I used to get like surges of energy and like happiness. I don't get that anymore. Okay, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna drive home. I love you so much. Okay, bye.
