The Rapture Happened And This Episode Will Only Get Three Views 01:14:22

It feels very weird today. Like there's like a chill vibe going on right now. Not like a weird vibe, but like it's like very like relaxed and not tense and like zen. I woke up today with zero thoughts. Yeah.

I fully agree. I have nothing to give to the world, and I don't know what's going to happen for this episode because I literally... I don't know. I actually feel the same way, and I still have zero thoughts right now. Yeah. It's like nothing is going on in my brain, which is crazy because that never happens. Everything is always happening all the time in my brain. Literally everything, everywhere, all at once. But...

Yeah, welcome back to Emergency Intercom. Did you just take that flat Coke out of the fridge for your caffeine of the day? Yes. I was like, I wonder why I'm feeling like shit right now. It's because I haven't had my watered down flat Coca-Cola of the day. You have two. You have two to choose from. No, this is actually Dr. Pepper. Which I'm like, kind of dabbling with. I like, am normally a very anti-Dr. Pepper person. Strictly Coca-Cola, but...

Right now, I'm in a Dr. Pepper phase, and it's kind of crazy. I think they gave me Dr. Pepper, because my drink did not taste like Coke yesterday. I've been sipping on it. It's Coke. It tastes so funny. Like, yesterday, I only had a few sips, because I was like...

This isn't giving me that, like, that Coke pizzazz. This sounds like a fake Coke ad. You've been drinking the, like, Mexican colas, like the Mexican Cokes. And I think, like, those definitely taste very different. And I think maybe you might be used to that one because we've been drinking a lot of those recently. Yeah. Yeah.

Those are the best ones. It's either canned Coke or like Mexican Coke in a glass bottle because if you are drinking Coke out of a plastic bottle, which is something you do, you're a menace to society.

You're probably, you don't have much longer to live. I don't know how to explain that one. Those BVA plastics are infusing with water and that's why I am the way I am. Or with the Coca-Cola. Your microplastics from your Coca-Cola in a plastic bottle. Babe, we need more microplastics. Like, I think we've made this comment before, but that is how you really knew

you like what class your family was in when you were growing up is if your family bought the two liter of coke or separate cans my family was a two liter coke and mine was separate cans but we bought also with that said we bought like shasta cola i know somewhere out there knows what shasta cola is and it's like it's like dr thunder shasta cola like

mountain lightning or some shit like that and it's literally just all off-brand sodas and shasta honestly tastes better than coca-cola but i can't find it here so i'm just stuck with coca-cola but i grew up on shasta that shit was so fucking good and then my mom only drank cream soda growing up i think the popular like flavored sodas in miami like public's makes their own

but I might be tripping, but I think it was Crush. Like Crush was the like flavored soda that I had all the time because they used to sell at my school for 50 cents. And the strawberry Crush or the grape Crush. But there's another brand that I can't think. Oh, wait. I think that might be. Yeah, I know what that is. Shasta. That's actually the brand I'm thinking of. Oh.

Uh, like these cans? Yeah. Like that can in particular? Dude, I'm actually never going to remember. There's another one that's like, it's kind of like a brand that does that. It's not Crush. There's a brand that does that kind of shit that they would sell at school and I can't remember. It might be that same brand because they do like all the off-brand ones.

Because we never had Coke. It was always like a cola drink, but no fucking freak was drinking the fake cola. Mountain Rush. We got Shasta Cola Strawberry, but we dabbled in that a little bit. What else did we drink? Shasta? What the fuck, K?

fuck came up with that? That has to be someone's name and they're like, it's an ode to them because who was like, oh my God, you know what we should call our soda? Shasta. Every time I look it up, there's like mountains Shasta and I'm like curious if like the water is like taken from the creek. Oh yeah, Mount Shasta's in Washington. Yeah. I think.

I'm curious if they take the water from the creek and Mount Shasta and make Shasta Cola and pollute it. Also, have you ever thought about like a Coca-Cola? Like we are literally drinking sludge. Like I shouldn't be drinking something that I can't see through. And the fact that I can't see through this and this is going to my body and my kidneys and liver are having to filter this every fucking day is like actually crazy. And then I get to thinking, I'm like, I wonder why I'm depressed. And I'm like, oh, I'm also drinking like

a liter of Coca-Cola a day. That's an exaggeration. But there's a correlation there. I don't know what it is, but the fact that I'm drinking this sludge is probably why I'm depressed. Yeah, who was saying that? Someone was literally saying that to me. Oh, when I was in a store in New York, the worker was talking to me and they were talking about how they really like Snapple and they were like, I don't count like...

calories from drinks because like there's no way to calculate that because we just shouldn't be fucking having it like water has zero like calories because that's the only like we shouldn't be consuming a beverage that like also partakes in like carbs and calories yeah like they were like that's just like that seems like not what god intended at all like not even on like like literally like mud water like

tea leaves, like tree leaves and water. And that's it. Like that's what our bodies were made to process. And somehow we're processing sludge. I know. I was thinking about that and then I was like, but that's not going to stop me from drinking coffee. But I'm just such a drinker. I love a drink. Honestly, low key, like,

Coffee's natural. Beans. Yeah, they come from beans. Beans. My milk is... Coffee will be extinct. Oils. Yeah. I need my oils and microplastics. That's another thing. All these vegan substitutes are hella processed and probably just as bad for you than eating an animal. I don't think there's any...

Diet that's good for you other than like this is so annoying because like I don't want to be like this is a good diet for you because I don't know shit from shit. But I would think like the good diet for you is the diet that's good for you. Yeah, that is that is the truth. But I'm like on a just a human level not raw veganism because like bitch you can like use a fire like caveman you had fires. Like I don't know why you have to not cook shit. But like just like

that kind of vegan I'm like that is the most primal diet you can do that's what we're hunting gathering our nuts and berries from the forest like that is so crazy yeah but even then they had animals yeah I was like didn't we like hunt animals we beat the fuck out of some chickens yeah like this tastes good as

The only reason why I think we talked about this. The only reason why we're alive is because the women just gathered the nuts and berries and we had our protein and the men would go out on our stupid fucking hunts once a month and come back and chase each other around with sticks and stones and come back with like

An elk every three months and then that's like all the village had to eat and the only reason we're alive is because the nuts and berries um also the drink our drink in Miami or like in my area that was popular was Faygo we were literally like a cream soda Faygo damn I'm still drinking I don't know what that is from six dogs rest in peace um but strawberry Faygo and grape Faygo my

Wait, is it Juggalo? Yeah, Juggalo. Yeah. Fago's like the sponsored drink of Juggalos. Really? I think I found that out in high school and it greened me out because I was like, that's not...

i've never heard that word in my life um but yeah fago is the thing you would go on wednesdays at my elementary school they would sell papa john's pizza for a dollar slice and then they would have the usual the pickled eggs the pickled sausage um airheads fago hot chips um did you ever go like this with an airhead everything i'm

everything I'm saying right now, I feel like I've literally said on the fucking podcast. You shake it down. So it becomes like a little tootsie roll. Um, I remember the kid who went on to try and bully me later on taught me that. And it was this kid who, um, like I used to be really close with. And then once we got to like middle school, we became distant for like no real reason. But I think he had like a lot of jealousy cause he used to like me. So he was like really mean to me. Um,

But it never hurt my feelings because I was like, this is just really sad. From a very young age, I could see through it. And I was like, damn, this is really sad. You're like trying to battle this rejection from me by being mean to me. But I'm the one you want. And it's not going to work out. You need to write a song about that. Oh, and then one time his best friend at the time came up to me.

And asked me out. And my best friend at the time was standing next to me. And because I was a belligerent cunt, she jumped in and was really- Belligerent! Oh my god. And you dropped the first belligerent in two episodes. Let's celebrate. You guys said it last episode. I might not have been saying it. I don't know if you said it last episode. You know what it is? It's because at the end of the day- Oh wait, bitch. We had an entire fucking conversation about it, I think.

- No, that was the Zoom episode. I don't know. Anyways, but the thing about me is I will cling on to one word for a certain amount of time and then you will never hear it out of my mouth again. - I'm the same fucking way. - So there's a chance that Belligerent is dead and gone. But maybe it's not 'cause-- - She had a dead cat bounce. She came back for a moment and then she's gone.

But I was a belligerent cunt and my friend tried to be funny and like, stupid and she was like, no, she's not gonna fucking date you. Like, she was so mean to this kid but I actually really liked this kid. Like, not romantically but I thought he was like, really cool and like, a sweet person. So, he literally got so sad and like, cried and I felt so fucking bad

And it was in front of the kid who was trying to bully me. And then he was like, see, she's such a fucking bitch, like, about me. And I was like, how the fuck is this my fault? Yeah, girls are cunts. Girls, like, suck balls. Like, literally. You know, I was going to wear those. Silver clips? Yeah, I was going to wear them today. And I didn't realize you had them on. But, like, we literally would have been matching had I worn them. But I had one in, the one, your anime one that I literally stole from you.

I had it in, but my hair is like too thick. Yeah, so it like sits on top. Yeah, it doesn't like pin my hair down. It literally just like my hair will fall with it anyways. That's why I stopped wearing them because it was good when my hair was really thinned out and short because I could just clip them onto my head and they wouldn't do that. But now, yeah, they like sit on the top layer. Then when you move it, it moves.

around and it looks so fucking ugly. It looks just beat as fuck. I need to do something about my hair. We need to both do something about our hair. Something big is coming with the hair. Let's just say that. Not on my end. I don't know what's going to happen. Something big is coming. I'm going to avoid getting a haircut because I don't want to lose any length even though my ends are belligerently dead.

Come on, belligerent. Wait, have you gotten a haircut since we started the podcast? No, I have not like trimmed my hair at all. But I think my ends are just like fully breaking off. Now, finally, especially when I straighten it, like there is length to it. But my hair is just too thick. Like it's... I don't know how to explain it. It like doesn't look as thick. But like if you go to touch my hair, it like doesn't feel awesome. Like, I don't know. It's like...

Not like in an unhealthy way, but like there's just this stack of fluff right here from all the layers that are gathering right here and finally growing out. Girl, that's because you don't fucking brush or wash your hair. It's maddening. No, I brush my hair every single day, especially to thin it out. So I don't know what to do. And I don't want to go get it thinned out because then it's going to re-add those layers. So what are you supposed to do? Just have it grow out and then you like chop it? Um,

What I should do now is get like an inch trimmed off so that like it just like it'll seem like it's growing faster because I'm sure I'm experiencing like end break off because my ends right now are the part that was like bleached. So in certain lights, you could see that it's like a way lighter shade than my natural color. But I don't want to do that because I refuse to lose any length on my hair. Because my hair will be longer than yours once you do that.

that the thing is you say that but it's like never once been longer than mine it's longer than yours just because I have or you can't tell because I have curls like if we straighten my hair it would be longer than yours it would be done we both have curly hair so I don't know like the only difference right now is I've brushed my hair out I've got the ringlets

At the end. I pulled one of Drew's curls. Because you don't brush your hair. I pulled one of Drew's curls and it went all the way down to his ass. Yeah. That's just not true. It's true. Look at him yanking it out for length right now. No, you know what's fucked up? Is that like...

I do not take care of my hair so much that like literally little baby dreads start forming in the back. And like when I'm brushing my hair like every once every two weeks, I literally have to pull it to the front and just rip out the little mat ball. And I just like there was one on the couch yesterday and I thought it was a fucking bug.

And I was like, oh my God. And it was just a ball of hair. And I was folding my laundry. So I was like, is this lint? But it wasn't. It was like human hair. No, it's my like, it's my little, it's my little like ball of hair that I have to break out. And you can like see how fucked up my hair is from it. Like, do you see that? How it's like all short in different spots and shit. Yeah. Yeah. That's like what's happening with my hair. I don't deserve this hair. I do not deserve it. I take care of my hair for the most part.

No, actually, I do a good job of taking care of my hair. The problem is it's just the ends are bleached and the color keeps fading, but I don't want to keep adding color because last time I did it, my ends were like black and then I took a flash photo of myself and it was like brown and then black and I was like, come on. And I was really embarrassed. Embarrassed. Embarrassed. Did the like texture of your guys' hair ever change? It's like my hair used to be straight and now it's like kind of.

No, my hair did because of bleaching it. And also with length, your hair can change because of how heavy it gets. So realistically...

I'm very fucking excited for my hair to be long because then like right now since the ends are so short the end like or the front like framing parts are so short they wrinkle it up really heavy when I like let my hair dry and then the back because it's more heavy it like kind of weighs down and it doesn't get as curly um that's not what happens to me because you have less falls naturally beautiful

I'm going to insert the photo of you at Devon's pool. Like, the thing is, like, I wish I had the delusion you had because look at how fucked up the top of your head is. Fuck you. Like, it is so...

and fucking scary. Now you're being mean. Now you're being mean. And now I'm insecure. And now I have to go get a baseball cap. Oh my god. I was showing virgin top of my head. I've never ever done that. I was like, you know, I'm gonna be brave today and not wear a baseball cap because like, you know, people probably think I'm bald under there. But no baseball cap incoming because then you had to fucking attack my hair. I did not attack your hair. You can't attack me.

- Like what you did, you fucked it up. - I don't care, he was literally gaslighting me. Anytime I spoke about my hair, he had to one up me and say that his hair was more beautiful when I'm opening up about my insecurity about my hair. - Which hat do you think it's gonna be? You think it's gonna be Mauloa or Praying? - It's gonna be Praying, I think. - Baseball cap is just like yesterday. Just like yesterday when I, or last episode when I was like, you know, I'm feeling kind of depressed and you were like, actually, I'm really happy. So it goes both ways. - I was lying. I was literally lying.

Well, I was lying too. About being different. No, about my hair being prettier than this. I know it's fucking disgusting. I feel like this is like marriage counseling sometimes. There'll be like periods where I'm like, oh wait. No, it is. Sometimes it gets like so real for no reason. Not on my end though, because I know how to control myself. Mm-hmm.

There you go. There you go. That was a microaggression. That was a microaggression. Well, I know how to control my emotions. Like, I'm just like a well-kept... There it goes again. What? Am I saying something wrong, guys? I'm just talking about myself. Anyways, I need to get a hair trim, but I fucking refuse. So my hair will just continue to break off and stay this length for the next five years. Um...

because i'm not gonna do what every tick tock tells you to do what is that to give your hair a trim every bitch who cuts hair is like you need to trim your hair i saw someone do like a display where they poked holes in a thing and like pulled out yarn and showed that like your split ends will just continue to break if you don't do it i was like oh that's nice and then i just ignored it and i kept moving on with my life we're both so obnoxious right now with our shirts

And that's it. That's all I have to say. Because they're both really good shirts, but it's like obnoxious, like graphic tea slay. What do you mean? Like both of our shirts are like annoyingly priced. No, mine was cheap.

What's cheap? I got mine for cheap. How much is cheap? These are normally like $400 and I got it for $75, which is cheap for like this shirt. I know $75 for a fucking 20 year old t-shirt is ridiculous. No, but that's what I'm saying is like within like, there's like certain parts of the internet that like get that and they don't question it because like, which were kind of on that side where we're like, no, that's like a good t-shirt. Like it's good. And then there's other parts who are like,

I would literally never spend that on a t-shirt. But if you're like a part of the t-shirt sleigh, you're a part of the t-shirt sleigh. Like if you get it, you get it. Like vintage graphic tees, the way the shirt falls, the way the staining is. The way the shirt compresses your body. And like the way the fabric feels. Like the t-shirt making companies just don't do that anymore. So I refuse to wear any like brand new shirt other than my Claro merch.

-The way someone else's sweat has thinned out the fabric, so it's literally the thinnest fabric on planet Earth. -It's bleached a little bit and there's holes and fraying and the graphic is cracked. It's just like, "Yes, perfect."

Perfect in every way. I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like I miss the taste.

I literally, I genuinely have nothing else to say. Also, they like, one time I stood up to slap Kai in the episode and there was like a stain on my pants and like this stain has literally been here for like probably two years on these pants and I stood up and they were like, oh, Drew has like ketchup stain on his pants. I wonder if he was eating french fries before or something and I was like, no, it's literally pain. Like, it's been here forever and I can't wear these pants out in public because of you motherfuckers. Yeah.

Because I'm insecure. Literally, everybody attacks my insecurities all the time. It's crazy. It's funny how one episode you can go from being the most big-headed person ever and loathing your sexiness. I'm depressed right now. So now the sexy compliments, they don't get through. No, they don't come through. You know what you need? They need to be louder. They need to be heard. I need to hear them.

I forgot where I was at. Oh, we need to put you on the TLC makeover video show and see what they would do to you. - There's not a thing they would fucking do to me 'cause I'm literally already basically perfect, but it's hard for me to see that, but other people see that in me. So they wouldn't really have to change anything about me. They would just have to be like, "You're perfect." And then my demeanor would completely change.

The TV industry used to be so fucking crazy because I'm like really thinking about that show and I used to watch the fuck out of that show. That show is so fucked up. They would literally film these people out for like two weeks to get their ugliest fucking fits on camera and then show it to the world and then that girl and guy would just stand in the room and be like,

you don't fucking care about yourself. You're so fucking ugly. And like would just say that to their face. And this like poor person would just be like, I'm so sorry. Like this is how what makes me feel good. And I'd be like, that's really sad. That is so sad. You need to conform more. You need to be more like a normal person and conform. We're going to make you normal. We're going to normal pill you. And literally all the- Don't forget to take your normal pills. I don't have any normal pills. I was born normal. I've been normal.

I was seeing it that you see was on and it is. I could hear it buzzing the entire time. It's fine. I put it on because I was scared of how like sweaty we would get because I was like getting sweaty walking around. I sweat way too easily and it's like a problem. I like don't get to wear tank tops in the summer because it's really fucked up.

Yeah, I was just talking to Mason about that yesterday. Like, I don't... My skin on skin will make me sweat ten times more, so I have to wear a t-shirt to catch my sweat because then it'll trick my body into stop sweating. You should just go naked around the house. No, that... I don't care. I wouldn't care if you did that. No, but I would sweat more, Drew, if I was naked. But I'm just saying you should just do that just for fun for me. Wait, for you? Or for you, so you, like, chill out.

You need to fucking chill. Like you need to fucking chill right now.

The world feels so quiet right now. I'm actually greening out. I know. It's like scaring the fuck out of me. Like, are we the only three people? Yeah, we're the only three people alive. Like, I'm not kidding. I was just saying that. Like, why haven't I heard a car go by, a plane zoom by? Like, I haven't heard anything. What if, like, I've been manifesting this by watching The Last Man on Earth? Like, what if we are the last three on Earth and we have to repopulate the Earth? I would immediately kill myself. Girl, oh my God, wait. The world is in...

Because you're not having sex with Kyan. I can't have sex with you. I literally just said very loud and clearly, I will kill myself. Me and Drew will just try to have a child. We'll make it work. I'll like break into the estrogen factory and we'll try to figure it out. Break into the estrogen factory. We'll try to figure it out.

Saying it like it's like a fucking toy factory. I'll bring it to the estrogen factory. There's got to be one on this earth. Do you think Google would still be up if the world ended? Like how long would it still be up for? I think it would be up for quite a while. Oh, then we would be so fine. I could learn how to fly a plane and we could go literally anywhere in the world. I'm serious. Like we could literally go anywhere. You think you could?

- You can learn how to fly a plane from Google. - Yes, that's like how pilots learn basically. Like they do like flight simulators and shit. I'll drive to a flight sim, like learn how to fly on that and we can go literally anywhere on the world and live out like the last like five years of our lives 'cause we would be killed by something. - But isn't the fun in like traveling, seeing other people? So then you would just get to these like desolate places and it would be kind of sad. - Experiencing it, shared experiences.

experiencing it with other people you would only be experiencing it with kai because in this hypothetical i am dead you wouldn't have given i can't be left with him why not he'll attack me i'm not gonna no i actually understand i understand that feeling sometimes i don't know what happens sometimes when you go to your room and it's just me and kai in the kitchen like i check my pockets to make sure i have something he steals he lies he attacks i've never done any of that

Sounds like someone who steals lies and attacks does. Yeah, that's exactly what they would say. That's weird. And you wouldn't even give it like two days? I can't even look at him. No, motherfucker. I would fucking kill myself. Like, I'm not kidding instantaneously. Like, without a second thought, it would be done. You wouldn't even attempt to repopulate the earth? No, bitch. I don't want to be pregnant on the earth for nine months.

because that's the thing it's like when you think about like baby running around with no fucking friends it's gonna be a murderer and kill us no it wouldn't and then the thing is what our baby would have to have sex with kai and we would have to wait till it's 18 so then we would have to wait 18 years but what if it was a boy then our baby would have to have sex with me

I mean, that's literally what happened, right? Yeah. Like, this... I don't want to be a part of it. Aren't people with blue eyes like incest babies? Like, they have more incest in them? I don't know. Like...

- Fucking 53% of the people watching it who have this right now with blue eyes are just staring at the screen. They're being accused of being incest babies. I don't think that many people have blue eyes. There's no way. I think because I live in LA, my perception of the amount of people with blue eyes has gone up, but it's just because that's the scary people. - All blue-eyed people in the world have a single common ancestor from 6,000 to 10,000 years ago. - That's embarrassing. - Weird. - That is so embarrassing.

Not your family timeline being all nasty. Ew, that's so embarrassing. Are you embarrassed right now, you blue-eyed freaks? Oh, wait. Given blue eyes is a recessive gene, a single ancestor also requires incest among hares and kids, doesn't it? No, gene can be passed on for generations without showing. Fuck. Wait, but that still means at one point. What? At one point we were all... Not me.

I just appeared here. I just appeared here. Don't fucking claim you know where I'm from. Not me. What about hazel eyes? Is it the same thing? Hazel eyes is when people with brown eyes and blue eyes have sex. Really? I don't know what to even look up for that. I don't know. That seems like that is how that happens. I want green eyes so bad. Wait, green eyes are literally scary. Like...

Like that's actually terrifying. Maybe when I'm literally trying to camouflage the grass. Wait, yeah. Like what? There's no way green eyes are literally real. Like when I hear green eyes, I'm like thinking of like neon green. Like I don't think I've seen anybody with green eyes before. Like I don't think I've ever met anybody. Because it's not like green like grass. It's like green like a hazely like brownish green. Like it's not like. That is green.

Yeah, but it's like a brown. It's like an earth tone green. Hell no. Bitches with green eyes scare the fuck out of me. I used to want green or hazel eyes so bad. Both of my siblings. My sister's eyes were the kind of eyes that like look gray in some lights. I wanted that. Which I am so jealous of. And then my brother's eyes are hazel and I have brown eyes and I was so jealous. Like growing up, that's like was my biggest insecurity was the fact that I didn't get like

cooler colored eyes remember when i got lasik and i was like i'm getting an eye color transplant like i want blue eyes and i like made this entire three minute tiktok of me lying and saying i got blue eyes and you just never posted it i'm releasing that on patreon yeah you fully should i think about that all the time it was like a funny ass thing to do because like you literally had like

Surgery videos of you going in for something like my eyes literally being picked out with that video that you showed me I think about it like once a week. Yeah, it was so insane They're like scraping the top of your eye. They scrape a layer off and then they zap you with lasers The usb for is just in my room. I was on the floor the other day and I was like, what is this? And then I saw it was really yeah, it's just like on a usb like sitting Why is it in your room because you watch it on my computer? Oh word because um

I don't know why. I think you couldn't open it on your PC. Like, the files wouldn't read on my PC. I also have, um... I ask for, like, anytime I get a procedure done, I ask for, like, the footage of it. Like, I got, like, a full body, like, either CAT scan or MRI. I think it was an MRI. And, like, um... I asked for the video of it, and I still have it. Like, I love, like, looking at it. And you can see, like, literally everything. You can see, like, my penis and balls in there. Yeah.

Seriously, it's crazy. And there's so many different angles. Like you can see it sliced like this way horizontally and vertically and like this. Like you can, it's crazy. They have like hella slices of me. - This is the dumbest thing I've ever to say, but talking about like anatomy like that. One time I got the ick 'cause I thought about how somebody I liked, like how their insides would smell and it actually made me wanna throw up.

Like I was sitting around with him and I was like, ew, like your insides would be like steaming hot and smell so bad. Yeah, it's like 100 degrees. I think about that all the time. If I'm with somebody that I like. No, no, no. That is not this white man talking about something. He thinks about how the insides of everybody he likes smell. Are you trying to cut me open? Yeah, you're trying to murder people. I think about the fact that there's just like

poop like inside of everybody all the time they have to carry around a bag of shit that doo-doo boiling like in their guts like have you ever laid on someone's lap and heard their doo-doo boiling like in their like colon

- Yeah, that gave me the ick. - Literally, anytime I call you out on y'all's bellies growling, it's the shit settling in your colon. - Oh, I was playing Fortnite and you literally disrupted me to be like, "Someone's hungry." And I was like, "What?" And then you were like, "Your stomach." And I was like, "I didn't fucking hear or feel that." - Yeah, that's my new shit. I just wanna make people notice their bodily functions. It's like, "Oh, your shit's gurgling in there. Your belly's begging for sustenance."

My belly is begging to be filled. Fill me. But yeah, that gave me the ick because I was like, ew, that's so gross. Like if someone like split you open, you would smell so bad. Granted, like I will never experience that, but the idea of it enough was like,

Very putrid. I did not like thinking about it. Interesting. But yeah, in a hypothetical world, I would just kill myself. I wouldn't stay around. It's just... It's like the idea of like... Damn, you like... If there was an apocalyptic scenario, why would you fight to survive? I like... You have to be a different breed of enjoying just living. We said that like five episodes ago. But for me, if we're in like...

the rapture everybody gets taken and it's like just me kind of like on earth I'd give it like a year or two like I'd float around a year yeah I would experience it I want to see all the places I want to see and then I'd kill myself like I'd get to see like um Yosemite and like uh what is it the um

Angels landing hike which is normally hella packed like I'd get to do that all on my own like all of these national parks that like are like overrun with filth and people like going and seeing it with no one around would be kind of lit I would go straight to the Grove and just like start breaking the windows on the Apple Store yeah literally cutting down the trees in the Apple Store like a hammer at the fucking glass yeah I would do all that stuff that like there's like

You know those YouTube channels where they like break big objects off a big cliff? Yeah. I would just do like all that type of shit. Literally just like... Drive my car through the Apple store. Let all the like intrusive thoughts win. Because like...

Like literally, who cares? The thing is, people always like claim they would do that, but realistically you wouldn't because even as introverted as you can be, like everybody needs another human around. I got Kai. Me and Kai. No, but I'm saying, you said if you were the last man on earth. I meant like with me and Kai.

no but you said going all alone like are you I mean yeah if you have like one other person then I could see someone living for a year but I thought you meant like all alone like last man on earth I don't think anyone would survive I would give it I would give it a year even even still I would just try because like who knows like there might be other fools around like if the internet's broken and shit like how do you know

I think I would make it a year, too. Yeah, I think I genuinely could make it a year. I don't think so, because men aren't capable of living alone that long. The visual of us finding out that the rapture happened, and then within 30 seconds, me and Drew are fucking, and Enya's killing herself. And Enya's watching and hanging herself while she watches. Her last visual is me and Kai having sex. We're trying to repopulate the earth. The aliens are like, wait, they could probably do this. They have everything they need, and then Enya just kills herself, and we're fucking.

I said like the other day, I said this dumbest shit ever. You were showing me the...

I said it yesterday, but you didn't comment on it. Like it was dumb. So maybe it's not the dumbest thing ever, but you were showing me like computer chips and like how like really, really deep down into the chip people leave like carvings of like little like things. And someone left like a thing of Eggman. And I was like, in a thousand years, like say like the earth survives that long and humanity survives that long. We really have no idea of knowing what like language will look like because even language now versus the way it used to be has changed so dramatically. Um,

And I was like, oh my God, if somebody like a thousand years in the future was digging through like computer chips, trying to like find any like remnant to like what we acted like at this time. And they found a drawing of Eggman. They would literally just look at it and be like, who is this human? Like, who is this person? Like, we have to figure out who this person was. And it was like, oh, like within ancient times in 2022, like this figure was very prominent on multiple things. And there's so many things. There were billboards of him. Yeah.

Like he was a god. Like I just like the idea of like in a thousand years history being like really misinterpreted. Like that's literally all history is misinterpreted. Like straight up. It's just people like assuming they know what was happening. Like that's we assume we know what dinosaurs look like. We have no fucking idea what the dinosaurs look like. I know what they look like.

But I'm never going to tell people. But it is like it's like the predictions people made of what they look like are kind of almost there. But there's like a little tweaking to make them actually look. How do you know what they looked like? I just said I would never tell.

You said you never tell what they look like. How do you know what they look like? I would never tell and tells everything. And I'm not saying it. I'm so excited for Prehistoric Planet coming out on May 23rd. What the fuck is that? Why are you giving an ad for a movie? Like, what are you talking about? It's like a dinosaur movie with David Attenborough. It's like all CGI. I don't know who that is. You don't know who David Attenborough is? No. He's like the dude who like voices over all of the like planet documentaries. And I'm supposed to know his name? Yeah.

I feel like a lot of people know his name. I know his voice. I don't know the names of a lot of actors. I could recognize their face. If I'm in public and I see someone, I'm like, oh, that's so-and-so. Or just people in general. But I'm so shit with names. I don't remember names. I just don't give a fuck. I really don't care. I can recognize a good actor, but I don't give a shit.

I'm just excited to see dinosaurs and I'm excited to see Avatar 2. Did you see the trailer for that? Yes, it looks fucking lit. It made me like literally emotional. Like I teared up. I was like, oh my God, it's finally fucking happening. Like, I think it's going to flop though. You think so? I'm predicting a flop. I don't think it's going to make nearly as much as it did the first time.

I don't think it's gonna flop. I think they're gonna make their money back, but I don't think it's gonna be like the cultural phenomenon that the first one was. - This place, this is not very connected to it, but it fully is. This place right off of Melrose,

I don't know what the shop is, but they have a huge life-size version of an Avatar character. And one time I parked right in front of it at night when I was going to an event with Elisa. And I got out of the car and it was like kind of dark, but there was a little bit of light shining on it. And I looked in the window and it actually scared the living shit out of me because it was just this like eight foot tall humanoid thing in the window. And I was like, oh my God. And then it was like a butt ass naked Avatar character. But... Do you see frontal? No.

I wish they had a napkin over it. They had his little like thingy over it. Loin cloth. Yeah, so you can see his balls. I want to see his balls so bad. I hope they like update. I bet they don't have puke in their hair. I want them to update how they have sex in the sequel. I want them to just fuck normal style. Like human. Yeah. Yeah, that would be pretty cool. They've adapted. I have not seen. Because they connected their tails before. I haven't seen the trailer. I haven't seen the trailer.

I don't watch trailers to movies. I really don't like watching trailers to movies. I like just going in having absolutely no idea what's going to happen and just like looking at the cover or hearing about it. I'm the same way but this was like one of those exceptions. Yeah, it's like an anticipation ass movie. Yeah, I was like holy shit. Like that, like the Joker, I like had to watch the trailer to that because I was like

I'm a white man living in America. Like, of course I had to watch. That's for us. Yeah. That movie was for the white men. Oh, that was made for you guys. The incel anthem. Yeah, exactly. Um, Spencer is my, um, joker.

Like the movie Spencer? That's my Joker. I always forget her name. What is her name? Kristen Stewart. Yes. She's her. She's giving. I always thought she was the actress in Stick It, but I don't know. They look the exact fucking same, but she gives in Stick It too. I need both of them to take care of me. Like hold me and I can take care of you. No, I want them to take care of me. Let me take care of you in that way.

I'm not going to say what I'm thinking. I know what you're thinking and I know that I know what you're thinking and let me do it. Let me do it. No, bitch. Like, no, because there has to be a certain amount of taking care that I don't think you can actually like do. And I love you. Stimulate the clitoral head. I'll peel back the clitoral head.

Yeah, just, you know, like, like cloth hangers. You got to like peel it back and then like clip it to like the pubis to like hold up the hood. The mons pubis. Me and Drew have been meeting up and then memorizing all the different parts of the vagina. Yeah, we've been studying the anatomy just to like. We have flashcards. Yeah, I would have to do that too if I had absolutely no real life experience with like another human. I've had a bunch of experience with another human. Definitely.

What's that? Oh, it's Guy. You're like kind of thumbing up. Yeah. Is that like insinuation? He sticks his thumb in my butt. Girl, now what? What the fuck do you want from us? I'm serious. What else do you want me to fucking say? What am I supposed to fucking say here? Suck my ass. There's something in the air because I'm also like two nights ago, I felt like a wave of like

like it felt like depression hitting the back of my head and I was like no and I just like ignored it and I came home and I went to sleep and I just like didn't think about it and then I think yesterday it was kind of starting to show because I like kind of just like had no want to do anything like I just like came home and like played Fortnite for five hours and I think it's been even showing with how much I play Fortnite like I I wasn't like me and Kai were talking about it before the episode started I wasn't thinking anything of it the fact that I've been so invested in a video game like

Never before. I haven't done this since I was in middle school. But genuinely, all I do is block out my brain and just pay attention to the screen for six hours. And then I've been watching shows, which is something I also don't do. That's my escape, is shows and video games. And I've just been escaping from reality. Yeah, and then this morning I woke up and I didn't feel very good. But not bad, but not good. It's that weird in between of like,

Literally, like, my brain is, like, fully, like, numb. Like, there's, like, not a single, there's, like, not a single, like, I don't know. That's so interesting because I just got super depressed again, like, four days ago. And I feel like a bunch of my friends did, too. Yeah. It's the fucking lunar eclipse, bruh. Oh, really? Yeah. It's the gravitational force. Everybody's depressed. Bro, it's the fucking retrograde, bro. Exactly. It's the lunar eclipse, bruh.

You said it so masculine. That's actually funny that like y'all are depressed because I'm actually really fucking happy now. Remember when y'all made fun of me for being depressed? Well, now I'm the fucking happy one. No, you're sad right now too. No, I'm actually, I've never genuinely, I'm not joking. Today I woke up and I was the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I don't get depressed. You were the happiest. I think you're doing the gag we did to you when you were trying to say you were depressed. I think you need to gag. Oh, I love to do that. So I will. Thank you.

Gargle these balls. Chill. Don't fucking talk to me like that. If you need it though, I'm here. Really? Yeah, I'm here for you. I am really sad and I need it. I always wonder though because when I'm sad, I'll be like, oh, everyone else must feel this way. But then sometimes it does seem like everybody does get sad at the same time. And I'm always like... It's the Bay Hive. Yeah, it's the Bay Hive. Like where the hive mind be, Beyonce hive mind be.

Kai, finish your thought. I'm always like, it would be cool if there was an app that everybody was like, just rate your mood from like one to ten. And then you could see like how everybody feels in Los Angeles. Yeah, TikTok. Twitter and TikTok.

But no, I know what you're saying. To get like an overall mood of the city. You know what's fucked up? Is there some fucking cunt bitches out there who wake up every single day feeling the exact same, which is like fully fine. A majority of the population is like that. So you would see that it's like an average, I feel like, of a 7.8.

Like, because most people, like... I feel like most people are depressed as shit now. I think we just live in a fucking bubble where everyone around us is depressed as shit because we're all, like, fucking creatives and literally don't have fucking schedules and every one of our friends is doing nothing all the time except for, like...

doing nothing um so we live in this like little echo chamber of depression and we all ask each other like yeah i'm depressed too i'm sad too but like the normal person is not depressed yeah because like even like the people watching this i feel like could agree to what we're saying but even that like as big of a community as it seems like it's such a small scale i mean think about this like yeah these bitches are depressed yeah most people who watch this aren't like oh i

fucking love shopping at PacSun. That is my store. Like, that's like, you can get things that like most people would like at PacSun or like Forever 21. Like, think about these conglomerate brands that are bigger than you could ever imagine. Like, the people who regularly shop there, that's the people I'm talking about. Where it's just like,

You go to the mall and you go to the store that's at the mall and you get the clothes that are at the mall, like, being given to you. Depression erasure. It's, like, bi erasure, but we're, like, erasing people's depression. But also, with that being said, there's a lot of people who don't recognize it as being depressed. Like, I feel like a lot of people in my family, like, very obviously have, like, whether it is, like, clinically or they have, like, it's, like, clinically and then it's, like, it's based on events. Like,

There's like another term for it. That's like not necessarily depression, but it's like circumstantial. Yeah. Like circumstantial. Like whether it be that or the other, like so many people in my family don't recognize it. Even when it's like, this is a very valid human reason to be so awfully upset and sad and just like feel no hope.

But you are obviously ignoring it and like really suppressing it and just like moving on and carrying the idea of like, oh, whatever. It happens to everyone. Like this, this and that. Yeah.

And I feel like that's why it would be like a seven and eight because it's like most people don't even recognize don't recognize also bitches lie. Yeah, like people are liars through and through and they'll lie about how yeah that also require that people are like emotionally in touch with like how they're actually feeling. Yeah, because I'm not joking 150 million Americans are not alive. Like I truly believe that I genuinely with my chest believe that like there's no way every person on this planet is actually sentient. Yeah.

But that's another conversation. I believe that they are all sentient and that's what scares me the most. Is that like being in public, like every time I see, like I'm in a group of people, I just look at everyone's face and I'm like, dude, all these people have like felt some sort of emotion that I have felt and like have at least one idea that we fully connect on. And I, that scares the fuck out of me. Like the fact that like, damn, I really am just another fucking bitch on this planet. I really am just another goddamn bitch.

who's like existing. - Well, you know what's exciting? - Which is like good, but it's like scary. - Is that everyone died this morning. So like we're the last three people on earth. - It does say that, but I keep like- - I know, there's no birds, there's no bugs. - There's no plane. - Like where's Azul? I haven't seen Azul today. Like it's literally us three and we're gonna release this episode and it's gonna get like maybe three views.

And the three views is us. And it's going to be us three watching. It's us checking on it to like get the link to share it. Like that's what the view is. Also, let me rephrase. Like I'm not saying there's anything wrong with liking clothes from Pakistan and Forever 21. I just want to clarify that. I just, I don't. Fast fashion, fast fashion. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fast fashion. There's literally nothing wrong with shopping.

There's nothing wrong with shopping there. I'm not trying to be big headed, but I think like if you're like, if you were listening to what I was saying, you kind of get what I'm saying. It's just like, it's easy as an individual who doesn't partake in that to be like literally who is wearing that. But there's so many people who do partake in that. And that's kind of like the idea like of depression. It's like, who else is feeling like it's easy to feel like no one else is feeling it. We should all just be depressed together. That's what Judaism is.

Wait, wait, wait. So it's not like something to look to for faith? No, I convert people when they're at their lowest moments. Like when they're at their lowest, most vulnerable moments, I like swoop in and I convert them to Judaism. Dude, that's a cult. That's like really bad. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I'm running a cult.

do something about it there's 200 000 of us like what are you gonna do are you claiming that every single person who watches the episode is a part of true just looks at the amount of subscribers for the podcast and that's the number the truth is growing we're almost bigger than mormonism we are mormonism we are people partake in mormonism what is that

What is that? Some dude found like a gold book under the ground. And then like it's like talks about like people living in a volcano and shit. Okay, I googled how many Mormons there are and they have an exact number. This is Drew. 16,663,663. That's funny because there's 16,663,004 Drewthers. And we just hit five.

Oh my God, truth is. Getting a counter and it goes off every few seconds. It's like. Yeah, literally. But it would have to go down every few seconds too to like be like real. No. Because some people have to tap out. No. Did we talk about this on the Patreon or on YouTube? People were asking what you thought about the Drew Barrymore.

No, we talked about it on the public episode. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, yeah. People were wondering if you had beef with her. No, no beef. No, there's no beef. That's our girl. That's our girl, but... It's the beef within the producers. Yeah, it's the beef with the writers and the producers. Yeah, it's like, do your Drew diligence. Yes! Your Drew diligence. Find the Drew, do your Drew diligence.

I'm just going to be like a detective when this all blows over. You're going to be a detective. Yeah. When the rapture happens to like figure out who did it. An internet sleuth and why they chose us to be the last three. Oh my God. You know what we need to talk about?

That awful fucking comedy show at the Renaissance Festival. That greened me the fuck out. I thought he had some funny jokes and that the audience was just kind of not into it. No, he had funny jokes at the end when he was like being a little passive aggressive and making kind of gnarlier jokes to like really ramp it up to get like shock value. But like, dude, when we got there, it was like it was fucking me up. Like, yeah.

I felt like there had to have been cameras around somewhere. Like it literally like made me feel brain dead. Like I literally like I couldn't gather. We're also heat exhausted. We didn't have any water in us. Yeah, I also had a meal. I had like a bottle of water, like crumbs of everyone's food and then like two sips of white wine. It was 97 degrees and I ate hot fries. I mean, I ate hot fries with nacho cheese on top. So cheese fries.

It was really nasty. Yeah, it was really, really awful. I kind of ate it because I was like, I need diarrhea right now. I'm constipated again.

You needed diarrhea at the Renaissance Festival under 97 degree weather in a hot porta potty. Yeah, I love the smell of fucking boiling shit in the whole porta potty. I love it. I can't believe anybody used a porta potty that day because that's all I could think about. I was like, it is so hot. Oh my God. I've been like low key ODing on magnesium trying to get this turd out.

It hasn't come out yet. You need to go get a colonoscopy. What is it called? I do. I literally need a colonoscopy. Where they like pump water in you and like take off. Oh, a colonic. Oh, yeah. That's what you need. I need a colonoscopy. You need to be emptied. You need to be emptied so bad. Yeah, they need to empty me. I need a colonoscopy. I can empty you. That's what friends are for. By your member.

Not the other one. You're just like, no. No. That's not what I mean. Not again. I'm not falling for this again. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. Wait. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I'm going to have to kill you. Fuck the blame. Isn't that the song? Fool me three times. Oh, fuck the peace song. And let it rain on you. Yeah. Pull the chopper, let it rain on you. Okay.

um um oh we finished candy yeah um we finished candy and i really liked it but then we started the staircase and i really thought about it i was like damn candy that show was really bad it sucks compared to the staircase like it's not a bad show but it's like not nearly as good and my one gripe walking away from candy if you did watch it it's like and if you didn't watch it whatever shut up you you um

It's based in like what? The 20s? No, the 60s. The 80s. I think it's based in the 80s. Dude, okay. I could not fucking grasp because... 80s, 80s, 80s. The costume design

was so fucking bad the costumes I don't know why you thought that took place in the 20s no I was thinking of like Marvelous Mrs. Maisel don't they like go watch Star Wars yeah literally I was thinking of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel's like outfits and then thinking about the outfits that some of the girls wore I think that's what was confusing me is the costume design was really fucking bad and like some of the clothing looked like

Way too new fast fashion-y. Does that make sense? Like, I feel like the quality of clothing even on camera for like the 80s is really different than quality on camera for clothing now. And all of the clothing I felt like they had just purchased from a thrift store in LA that was like drop shipping. They're going to win an award for costume design. I'd be shocked.

Also, you can't just throw on big funny glasses on people and be like, that's the time frame. Well, no, that's what the girl IRL wore. Oh, no, not Candy. Like, her glasses were fitting. But, like, there was almost too many people with those exact, like,

of glasses and I'm sure all those people in real life wore glasses, but all of them, like, I don't know what, something about it felt like I was watching people like cosplaying. Like. That's literally what it was. No, but it's different because now we're watching Staircase and it's based in like a lot of the footage is like they're showing like old footage from like the 90s and like it's all based in 2001 and I don't for a second question that that's when it was happening. Like not for a second am I like, oh, this feels.

feels like it's happening now. You just have a better grasp on the 90s. You were born closer to it. No, the costume designing of Candy sucked. It bothered me so much. The set design and costume design. Also, like, some of- The set design was literally, like, mid-century modern furniture from, like, Ikea. Yeah, it, like, all looked so, like, the newer renditions of what those things looked like, which I'm sure, obviously, like, what they're not gonna source, like,

real like nice furniture from that time frame. But yeah, like even some of like the kitchen appliance looked so like

new and like out of place in some frames like some frames when candy's in the kitchen it looks like they put something on the counter to fill the frame up a little bit because like it was barren and they were like fuck we should have got more but you don't feel that way about marvelous mrs mazel um no i think marvelous mrs mazel has like a little bit of like campiness to it because it's like a comedy yeah that i don't even really question a lot of the stuff happening and like the homes they live in feel like

They're so obviously like older homes like that's what they like look like whether it be like the framing like the crowning the structure of all the homes and I think it gets a pass because of like it's a bit campy because it's like an old. It's like a caricature. Yeah, it's like a caricature of what that time was and a lot of like the moral ground play is like still very real, but it's very like.

Super colorful and like loud because and then when it's like sad, it's really like dull. Well, they didn't invent like color until like the 40s. So it's weird that they had that. No, Drew. You just like a lot of like photo and video didn't have color, but like that they there was color. No. How is that even possible? You think? How would cameras record in black and white? Wait, I'm sorry. Are you?

Are you saying that you thought not only objects but people were black and white and gray in the 20s? Yes. Yes. Wait, that doesn't remind me of anything. Fuck, my ear keeps falling off. Ian, remember when he was like, guys, they turned off the color in my seat. And he just had a black and white filter on.

That was like literally the funniest video I've ever seen. Like one of the funniest videos. It was during the beginning of COVID. He was like, holy shiz, things are already happening in my town. They took away the color. Well, yeah, they can do that. Yeah, if you're being a bad boy, they turn off the saturation. Be very like cautious. It just sounds like you kind of still believe it. So I'm just going to like move on.

But yeah, I didn't like it. I did not like it one bit. Staircase is so good. It's actually really gnarly. Have you been watching it? No, I started watching Candy because you guys were talking about it, but I wasn't super into it. But Staircase is way better. The fourth episode of Staircase is...

probably one of the best episodes of television I've ever seen. See, that's how I know I'm not in a good place mentally because the fact that I watched Candy and I was like, this is so fucking good. This is amazing. Every show, I'm not joking. I've said this once, I'll say it again. Every show or movie that I watch instantly becomes my favorite show or movie I've ever watched. Drew, like literally, okay, you didn't, I don't think you caught yourself

but who were we talking to about it you said to someone you were like the third episode of staircase is the best is top easily top three the best tv episode i've ever seen and then the fourth episode you said that about the fourth i think i meant the fourth episode okay because you kept saying three and then you were like the fourth episode and i was like he's gonna say this for every episode that it's like the best i mean i meant the fourth when i was saying that um

You think it's better than any Breaking Bad? A few Breaking Bad episodes, yeah. I need to have sex with Walter White. I need to. But not the actor, like Walter White. Yeah. Like him. Heisenberg? Yes. Heisenberg could literally break my back. Wait, would you fuck him pre or post Heisenberg transformation? Oh, post. I'm not fucking that pre-free. Post nerd freaking music. Yeah, he was sad. I'm like, oh, my life is so sad. I'm sad. Like...

I need a boss bae. I need a boss babe. And Mr. White is a boss babe. Yeah. Yeah, I need him. I need him really bad. My anxiety toe is back. Your anxiety toe? Oh, picking your toe? It's back. In a very scary way. Ew, is it nasty? Is it like if you got in a pool right now and then got out after like an hour, it would look like disgusting? Yep. That's like the worst part of being a nail biter is like being at the pool with your friends. Mm-hmm.

Because it shows. It shows. It's so nasty, it shows. What else do y'all want us to talk about, huh? I have bombs. Oh, wait. I can't say that. That is actually a good idea. I need to re-bleach my eyebrows. But I don't know if I'm going to bleach my eyebrows again or keep them the way they are. I don't know. Guys, comment down below for me. Guys, let me know what I should do.

I just keep, every time I bleach my eyebrows, I burn the fuck out of my skin. Also, I think I have skin cancer. Oh, join the party. I go to the dermatologist tomorrow morning, so I'm going to have her look at it, even though I don't think that's like, I'm going to her for my acne. There's no way she's going to know. But you're going tomorrow morning? Yeah, at 11. That's why I said 1. Okay. And I, my fucking nail just fell off. You just ripped that shit off. Holy shit. That hurt so bad, but like also felt kind of nice.

but I have like a freckle that is not the color of a freckle and it's not a freckle. It's just a gray dot that appeared on my arm. And I look at my arms a lot because I admire my freckles a lot. And also I put lotion on my arms every single night and day. So this is brand new and I've never seen it. I'm just going to assume I got stabbed with a pencil when I was little and it's like lead. Yeah. I stabbed you with a mechanical pencil in your sleep. Um,

Why would you do that? You don't have a mechanical pencil. Yeah, I do. I have a bunch. And I do it to everybody. I mark them. I mark my people. I'm territorial. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was going to say in a territorial way or like...

No, in a territorial way. All right. Well, My Media is the staircase. Please... You stole that from me. You're so annoying. I said it was My Media. It was your media last week. Was it really? Yeah, you talked about it last week because you had started it last week. Oh my God, I dropped my nail. My Media of the Week... Also, we both... That's all we've been watching. I've been watching. My Media of the Week is... Then say the other things you've been watching. My Media of the Week is the staircase...

And I will say, if I love, like, true crime things, but this show is pretty gnarly, so please watch at your own... What's it called? Discretion. Yeah, discretion. Viewer discretion is heavily advised. The last episode, like, the fourth episode actually fucked me up in, like, a gnarly way that I've never experienced from...

I've only experienced like maybe twice in my life from movies. And I don't like it's not something I would ever watch again. This is not a show I would ever rewatch because it's really fucking gnarly. But yeah, the fourth episode is really hard to watch. So keep that in mind. But it's a really good show. And that fucking actress from Hereditary, that motherfucker in her past life, she did something. I don't know what she did. She sold her soul. Yeah, she is like way too good at playing like

The way she plays. Like, I don't like it. It's scary. And then do you want to do your visual media? No. I'll do it all at once. Then my audio media, honestly, I don't even know what I've been listening to. Oh, yeah, I do. I do.

It's a rap by Mariah Carey. It's all songs that I've said before, but I'm like starting a new playlist of all the songs that make me happy because I need something to make me scream and like shout and like have fun. Drama by Roy Woods and Drake. What a fucking classic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No need to pretend. I couldn't tell if you were singing it or like just saying yeah like that. Unhappy by Outkast, My Baby, Janet Jackson and Shown by Balgrise. Well, I've been on like a really weird vibe music wise recently. Yeah.

And I've been listening to all of Aphex Twin's really weird fucking songs, like Milkman and Beatles. Those two are hitting for me right now. Milkman, Beatles, and the Coppice. Yeah, and then since we're on Aphex Twin, listen to Selected Ambient Works Volume 2. It's a really, I think it's probably like

one of the best if not the best um no ambient album of all time oh wow um i think it's like that and fuck what's that other dude's name um i think it's brian inu yeah i was gonna say i love the my favorite ambient albums are literally ambient one and two by brian inu and yeah bud yeah ambient one music for airports um

it's like the other, like really, really great ambient album. And then my visual media is Nick 30 on YouTube. He's like this Fortnite YouTuber that I've been watching. Um, and I used to watch him back in like 2018 when I was like super into Fortnite. Um, and like me and Jake would like talk about him. Um, but like when I still lived in Texas and, uh,

His videos are just so wholesome and he like doesn't cuss in them and he makes it like a very big point not to cuss in his videos and I just think it's really cute. And his videos are wholesome. Ew, I curse so much when I play Fortnite. You get mean.

I heard something last night. I was like, whoa. You know what it is? I hate when people tell me what to do when I'm already fucking doing it. And that happens when I'm playing Fortnite all the time because you can't see what someone's doing. And when you're playing in like a trio or a squad or like a duo. When I'm like, help me, help me, help me and no one's helping me. But like, it's like, not even that. Like that, I get it. But, um...

When I'm like already doing something or someone's like, don't go too far. And I'm like, bitch, I'm literally like around the world from you. Like, fuck you. That's our trio's go-to. It's like, don't. Stay together. Stay together. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm literally here. And also it pisses me off because everyone always leaves me like.

And I'm the one who's like chasing after everybody because nobody says like where they're going. Like when you're playing. When we're playing, I mark where I'm going. I'm like, we're going here and I mark it with the big spire every time. I do that too. I'm always like, I'm going to go here. And then bitches still want to be like, don't go far. And I'm like, I just told you where I was going because I need to get a gun. Yeah. And it pisses me off.

I can't keep playing Fortnite, but I am going to play immediately when this camera turns off. I'm literally itching for it. I need it. Y'all need to stop commenting about me and Fortnite on TikTok because there was a TikTok that was on my timeline that I was like, I've been away from my PS4 or something for three hours now and I still want to play Fortnite. And I'm shaking because I haven't played Fortnite in three hours. And the top comments were like Enya and Drew.

It's real. It is so real. People see that and they're like, who the fuck is Inya and Drew? I know it pisses bitches off. Because they're like, fuck those losers. And I'm like, you're mad. You're mad. You're mad. Look at us. Look at us. You're mad. Not you being mad. Oh, not you being mad over a name. Literally, you're mad as fuck.

That's literally, I'm just going to say suck my balls and you're mad now. I love saying suck my balls. I literally am always like suck my big fucking balls. Yeah. Bitch. You're mad. You're mad. All right.

Well, that's our media. That's the episode. I hope you enjoyed it. If you're still alive, please leave a comment because I don't know if anybody's alive. I don't think there's another human on this earth. I literally don't think so. I literally think I'm about to go log on to Fortnite and it's going to say that's going to take like an unannounced time to match me because there's no other human on earth. Literally. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye.