Our House Is Cursed 01:27:09

Life cam.

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Today, we talk about how ever since moving into this home, there has been an intrusive fear for our lives. It's cursed. This house is cursed. It's evil. There's a lot of dark energy in here and it needs to be addressed. And I know a lot of y'all are hearing this and are extremely excited to hear this because probably for the past two years, we've been saying...

Wait for the podcast. We'll tell the stories on the podcast. Yeah. And now's the fucking time. I actually do think we've slipped up and have said it like all of these stories at least once publicly. But now they're like congealed into one thing. So you don't have to go running around. And there's new there's new shit. There's new developments to the story. There's new development. There's new man's or Philip Chateau.

Except the new development is just kind of embarrassing on my part, but we'll get into that later. We have to start from the beginning. The very, very, very beginning. Which is... The home invasion. Yeah. So we moved into this apartment in May 2019. Mm-hmm.

Soon after, like, I think two weeks after moving in, I took a trip to Miami. Yeah, it was very quick. It was very... We were very fresh to this house. Like, we were still, like, learning our neighborhood and shit. We didn't really know where we were, like, at...

Placement wise on the map. Yeah. And we're just chilling one night like Inya's gone. It's me and Josh in the house. Josh had already been gone for a couple days back at his house or his parents house just like hanging out with his parents. And he came back and I was like oh finally like not an alone night because I don't really like being alone. But I wasn't really scared before this. I was kind of just like whatever like

I don't like being alone, but I can handle this. But then everything changed. Everything changed. So one night, Inya's out of the house. Josh goes to bed like really, really early for some reason. He never, ever, ever goes to bed early. And it was just like... It was planned by Josh. Exactly. I think he like called a hit on me. But basically...

We were just like, Josh was asleep in his room or like getting ready to fall asleep. And I was just chilling in my room with my door wide open. And I was, I can't remember if I was playing the Minecraft album or if I was playing Minecraft. You might have actually been playing Minecraft because you were in that era. Yeah, I think I was playing Minecraft and like the sound of Minecraft was blasting through the house. Like it was, it was loud as shit and I have to be like,

i had to make that clear like it wasn't my computer was on full blast like it wasn't quiet um and like i'm just playing minecraft whatever and then i'm like okay i'm getting like really really tired like i need to go to bed soon um so like i'm just like winding down my night um and then i hear azul like

screaming like literally yelling at the top of his lungs which like isn't abnormal yeah because she has bad separation anxiety so when i do leave and we had just moved to this house so she was on a really bad one and even when i was here she would like scream to be let out of the room and like wander and like learn the house was this pre-escape or post-escape

I think he had already gotten out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he had already gotten out. But, yeah, he was still just, like, in an anxious, like... He was, like, feral. I don't know where the fuck I am. Yeah, he was, like, I want out, I want out, I want to go have sex. I haven't seen my owner in, like, a week. I'm, like, losing my mind. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, anyways, there's always screeching. He... So I was, like, okay, I'm going to go lock him on that side of the house because we have, like, doors separating the house. So I, like, walk over there. I pass by this... The door to, like, the...

parking garage and like inya um always leaves that light on um and like when i was passing by it um to go to bed or to go play minecraft before i had turned it off and i was like like out of not out of spite but i was just like i want this light off i don't like it on also for more chance to turn it off i leave i leave front lights and back lights on because

The olden saying, if you don't want your house to be fucking broken into, you leave lights on so any intruders think there's someone in the house already. Exactly. And I didn't realize that before. And now, now that light is literally on 24-7. I don't think it's been turned off since. But...

Passing by, I noticed that the light was on and I was like, "God damn it, Josh, why the fuck did you turn that light on? This is very, very annoying, whatever." So I flicked the light off, don't notice anything different. But in my head I was like, "Huh, I thought I turned that light off, but it was on." But I turned it off again.

Walk over to the side of the house. And then I noticed the door separating like... Inya's bedroom side of the house. The stairs to the front door. Everything is like... Shut already. And I was like... That's weird. Because it was open. It was like already open. Because like... We... I hadn't...

turned the house off yet like i haven't gone to bed yet um so i thought that was weird and then i opened this door and i'm greeted with like the raunchiest most disgusting stench i've ever smelt in my entire life sorry i left my dirty underwear before i went to miami girl i know what your underwear smells like and i because i'd be sniffing the shit out of that and it did not smell like your underwear

What? You... No, just keep telling. Just keep going. I mean, you just leave it out and I just smell it. Okay, no, okay. Just keep going with the story. Okay, okay, whatever, whatever, whatever. So I'm like greeted with this like raunchy smell. Like I wish I could describe it other than like just like...

pure disgust and stench. Like, gross, nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty smell. And I'm like, God damn it, Azul. Like, why'd you shit? Like, Azul shit, and now I'm gonna have to go clean up that shit because it's gonna fucking stain in his bed. And someone's probably like, oh, Azul's poop, could it smell that bad? Azul's poop smells really bad. So it makes sense that Drew thought it was, like, Azul's poop. Yeah, Azul drops turds. And I had no other idea, like, of what it could be. And so then I, like...

Then I get this like uneasy feeling because I hear like Azul knock something off in the room or something falls in Inya's room and I'm like, I'm like and out loud I'm like god dammit Azul like stop throwing shit on the floor and I'm like very sussed out now and I'm like like I'm kind of uneasy and then like I take a step towards Inya's door I

see this fucking six foot four man just like dart into the doorway. And I'm like, who the fuck? Who is this? Who is this? And I'm like...

Like, literally shocked. Like, frozen in fear. Like, deer in headlights. Like, pure fight or flight. And my body was just frozen. Like, I couldn't move. I was so petrified. And then, like, we're just looking at each other. Which, like, it felt like... Yeah, it felt like forever. But it was probably, like, a split second. It literally felt like 30 years. But it was probably, like, max three seconds. And he breaks the silence. And he's like, what are you doing here? And, like...

In my mind, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing here? Like, you're in my house. And so... But I don't remember if I say anything. It's, like, literally two years old now. And so what happens is, like...

I like dart through our living room because like the way our house is oriented, like I dart into our living room and like my first thought was like, I'm going to grab the knife that I was cutting apples with earlier. It's sitting in the sink. I didn't do the dishes. And I'm going to cut this motherfucker up into little pieces. And I like I'm going to stand my ground and I'm going to be the man of the house and not. Yeah, right. I'm like, I'm going to be the man of the house. You're like and cut this bitch up.

I dart into the kitchen. I touch the knife. I pick it up to stab him. This dude's already chasing after me. And then I'm like in my head, like split decision. I'm like, I'm the biggest fucking pussy in the world. Like throw the knife back into the sink. This guy's coming after me. I'm like, okay. Like I'm fully not fighting at this point. I'm flying away from the scene. Like I'm getting as far away from it as possible. And I'm like, bruh, like Josh is still in the house. Like I can't just leave Josh in the fucking house with this dude. Like,

What type of person would I be? And then also in my mind, I was like... After I thought about this, I was like... I know I like...

Like, I know I care about y'all, but I was like, literally like, this is like family to me. Like that. I would put my life. I think about that all the time. Cause I'm like the, the shape of the house is so small that one, I was just thinking this, if that man actually wanted to hurt you, like he would have done it, but obviously he was fucking freaked out too. And he was like, dude, I straight up thought there was no one here. Um, and he was probably just like on this side of the house, freaking out, being like, Oh my God, I'm going to jail. Yeah.

And also like, it's so sweet that you were like, could have just ran out and been like, I hope Josh wakes up and like is okay. But you were just like standing in the doorway being like, Josh. Yeah. I was like standing in the doorway, like screaming for Josh. I was like, Josh, wake the fuck up. Someone's in the house. Like, please wake up. Please, please hurry, hurry, hurry. And Josh was like, Drew, this isn't a funny joke. Like, why are you joking? Like I was dead asleep. And I'm like,

Josh no I'm not fucking joking like wake up get over here we're leaving and Josh like eventually realized like I wasn't trolling because like it's also so funny when you tell this story I like always have to remind myself like this probably whole event took place under like five minutes no it literally took place in less than two minutes like it was like it was like a two minute ordeal like for me but it literally felt so long and then like

Me and Josh eventually comes to the back door. I'm already fumbling with the door because for some reason it's locked already. And like, it just, the door was locked, whatever. We unlocked it, like literally out of a fucking horror movie, like fumbling with the lock, like trying to get it open. And y'all already have a hard time with the back door. Like I already know what it looked like. Yeah, it was just like so absurd.

We like dart down the stairs into the backyard and we can either go left into the parking garage surrounded by six foot spike fences or we can take a right and go. And still have to jump a fucking fence. Jump like a four foot fence but like it's not as dangerous as jumping a six foot fence. But for some reason we decide to go into our parking garage and jump the spike fucking fences and.

We do that. Josh, like his ankle gets stuck in between the spikes. It like cuts up his ankle. He literally face plants into the ground, like hits his cheek really hard. He had like a bruised cheek for like weeks after this. I jump and I fall and like scrape up my leg. And like it was just really pathetic. And then we're both barefoot and we sprint to this gas station about like a quarter mile up the street and call 911. 911.

And that's kind of the story of like the home invasion. And this motherfucker jumped in the exact same spot we jumped in to get away. And like out of like a cartoon, like,

All of his clothes got ripped off. Like all of his clothes were on the fucking gate. His pants, his shirt, his jacket, his boxers. Literally everything that could have gotten ripped off his body except for his shoes and his socks got ripped off. So he was like running through our neighborhood away from the cops like butt ass naked, which is fucking hilarious. You know what's also crazy? I wonder if he made that decision on purpose and took off his clothes and left them behind because he didn't want to be recognized for being in the house based on what he was wearing. Yeah. Interesting. That's possible. And then...

The cops got here. They like searched the house. Front door was locked. Back door was locked. He like was in the house for at least 15 minutes like while I was in here, which is like crazy. And I just didn't notice. And then he...

As I say, I was sick also right before I left. So I had those like naked, which also now that I think about it, I'm like, okay, you really do grow a lot as a person, an adult from the age of 19 to 21. I guess I'm 22 now. So it's like whatever. But at this time I had just turned 20. So from 20 to 22 at the age of 20, I thought something good to put in my body when I was sick was a fucking

fucking naked juice. Like that is not good. That is so much sugar. That's like all the bad for you. But that was like something I had like gotten while I was sick. You're like, this is going to cure me. This green, I need some green, this green sugar water is going to cure me. So gross. Yeah. He chugged that girthy ass drink. He went into the fucking shower in our boiler room, in our laundry room and dry shaved his pubes with my razor and just like

I don't understand, like, how you can do that. Like, that is, like, the most icky feeling in the world to me. Dry shaving or using someone else's razor? Dry shaving long-ass pubes. Like, long, long pubes. Like, with a... Not even, like, a... Yeah, no, no, no. It was, like, a fucking... Yeah, and he just... Razor. Also, that's, like, a bad place to, like, do that. I just meant, like, hair. And, like...

Yeah. And then he went to our living room, like collected some gadgets. He got some keys. Um, he scored a car. He scored some cameras. He like put our, all of our keys under my pillow in my room. Oh yeah. Also he slept in my fucking bed. He laid in my bed and there were pubes all over, all over everything. And I, I,

I still don't know. Okay. He definitely went through my like shit. Yeah. But I had like my room kind of messy because I have, we just moved in. I know. Then I had packed, but he went into my closet and like there were underwear everywhere. So I think he was going through my underwear. For sure. Cause there was like underwear, like on your like,

fireplace like there was like it was strung everywhere and then he like he was like a little having a little part he was like me like smelling your underwear what the fuck are you talking about do you smell okay i'm not getting into it it's not weird it's natural anyways and then when drew called me i was in miami and my first thought was does he have my keys he's gonna steal my car yeah yeah i was like is azul still in the house

Did he steal my keys? And then you'd like, and you was like, when we called in yet and told her, she was like, where's this old, like, is this all okay? And she didn't even like give a single shit. Okay. Because in my head I was like, obviously they're okay because they called me and I'm hearing both of their voices. I was a little offended by that. I know when I look back at it, but like also you were talking to someone who like, I've like had so many like,

Literally, like, the year before I left the house, we were all sitting in my house, and a guy just, like, came through the front door and was stealing bikes. And then he thought the door was open, and my dad walked out, and there was just this guy outside of our house, like, stealing shit off of our lawn and, like, about to walk into the house. So, like, again, not to, like... I'm not...

In my head, like, this... You're making my trauma a competition. In my head, this was, like, normal things that happen in life. So I was, like... No, no. Never once happened to me. But I did. I did end up apologizing. And I was, like, sorry that I was, like, concerned about, like, all my things. Yeah, I remember just, like, calling you, like, on a high. Like, I was just, like, fucking attacked. Like, all this shit. And you're, like, is Azul okay? Like, where's Azul? Okay, also, like...

like Azor just got back so I was like if this fucking cat is gone again I'm gonna like I don't blame you like for freaking out because like he could have just left like yes I will defend my behavior to like any lengths and that's what we're learning today yeah um

But yeah, I did not have the best response. I had also just woken up at the ripe time of 1 p.m. in Miami. And I was like, so my car is getting stolen and my cat's gone again. Yeah. But yeah, they ended up finding the keys under my pillow because then I begged them to throw my shoes away because I literally could. I already have issues with my bed being dirty. So the fact that he would do that to me.

Thank God I wasn't home. Drew says that all the time. And I, like, always think about that. Like, if I was home, I don't want to think about what would have happened. Yeah, no. He was on a good one. I would be in prison for murder. Yeah. Moida. No, I don't think he would have gone to prison. But after that, like, I was like, I want to get a gun. Like, I want a gun. And then, like...

I'm the motherfucker who like gets a gun and it gets used on me. They like shoot me up. Like everyone, everybody talks about like getting a gun for their house and self-defense. And I just don't believe in that because I'm like, yeah, because bitch, you had a knife. Like if you weren't going to use a knife, you weren't going to use a gun. Even though like I get it. Knife is like close range content. I think it's a different thing. Okay, but I told you this the fucking other day. I was like, you're the type of motherfucker that...

that if you had a gun in the house he would have came in the house saw the gun been like damn this gun isn't gonna kill anybody it's like a weak gun i'm gonna go to the pawn shop get a better gun and come back yeah i mean there was enough time in between like him being in his house he literally could have found my gun he literally could have uber eat something to our house and then he kept going yeah but so suspect um actually a weird development to the story that happened at christmas

Was they like found the dude like based off a finger Christmas miracle Yeah, they they called me on like the 23rd and was like yo we found the dude like do you want to come in and like Tell us if it's him or not and I was like, yeah, I'll do that and then they I was like just call me back when I'm in LA and They never did and they kind of just the case. It's also like whatever it was Jeff's it was deaf just like a homeless dude who didn't mean any harm and just thought I

He was like, I literally just... He just hit the lottery. Yeah, he was like, I just found an empty house. Like, yes, I'm sleeping in your bed. I'm, like, living here and I'm squatting here and this is my house now. And I'm grooming myself. Exactly. Like, this is... I'm marking my territory. Yeah. No, if I was in his position, I would have done the same thing. Yeah, what the fuck? Like, 100%. So, that happened. And then...

Continuing the cursed house saga. Yeah, so I come back from my Miami trip and I don't... Where do you go? I think you went back to Texas. Yeah, I probably was like, I need to get out of this house. Yeah, Drew ended up going back to Texas when I came back and by this time it was like... Oh, I guess it was a month later because... Or whatever. Basically, it was the day after 4th of July. No, literally, where were you? If it was 4th of July, I was in Texas. We didn't spend 4th of July here though. I feel like we did it with Josh's family that year.

I was... I've never had a fourth year. I've always gone back to Texas. Oh, okay. Oh, I went to Josh's house for the 4th of July and I came back to the house. It was like a day later. And I was just here solo, vibing. It was...

sitting around all day and then I just was like okay I need to like shower and do something because I've been on my fucking iPhone all day so I got up to go racking up them screen time hours literally so I got up and I was like I'm gonna wash the dishes and like take a shower so I went to go run the shower and the water didn't turn on and I was like what the fuck because we don't cover the water yeah our landlord covers water yeah we do power whatever yeah they do water so I was like what the fuck um and

And then I came to the kitchen and the water wasn't working in there either. And I was like, huh, okay. Again, this is at the ripe age of 20. As now a 22-year-old, I would have been like, I'm calling my fucking landlord and I'm going to be like, what the fuck is happening with the water? But as a 20-year-old, I was like, it'll fix itself, I'm sure. It'll figure itself out. And I was like, maybe they're working on the pipes. Like, well, I don't know what the fuck that would mean, but whatever. So I go to my room. I'm working on your pipes. Now, what if I slap the fuck out of you, bitch?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now everyone listening is like, oh my god, did she slap him? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

go to my room and it was like summertime so my windows were open and... Beautiful summer breeze. Let the summer breeze in. Set the scene. No, literally like our house is an oven and I'm like, please, if I could just get one fucking gust of air into my room, I will like convert to pure religion. They know our house is an oven based off of how my fucking face looks right now. I am sweating. No, you don't look like you're sweating at all. You look beautiful. Stop. Really? You look pretty too. I know I look pretty. Shut up. Okay, so...

I'm in my room. I'm on iPhone again. Back to iPhone. Maybe the universe that day was like, just stay on iPhone. So I went back to my room. I'm on iPhone again. And I am nosy as fuck. And I hear my neighbors on the phone. So I turn off iPhone and I start listening. And the neighbor under us was like...

yeah, I smelled this burning smell and like the water isn't working and I don't know. Last time this happened, like I didn't say anything and I feel like I should have. I regret it. Yeah, she was like, I regretted it. And I was like, okay, first of all, what the fuck happened in your past life? Two times. This is the second time this happened

this happen to you but then i was like oh okay and right after she's off the phone i get a call from my landlord she's like is the water working in your house and i was like no i assumed like y'all were working on something and she was like um no i'm just laughing because like our water being off is like a normal occurrence to us because we just don't pay our bills like it's just like it's just like funny because like

We don't pay our bills. We have... Well, no, not the water being off, but like the heat going off. Just like all of our shit being off all the time. Yeah. It's just normal to us because like... We don't have any bills on auto pay. I don't believe in auto pay. You shouldn't be taking money out of my account without me knowing. I should be giving you money. Don't take money from me. Exactly. Let's wait till everything turns off and then I'll think about giving you money. And then I'll beg for you to turn everything on quick. We literally have a...

$3,100 bills that we haven't paid in 18 months. Don't fucking expose this like, oh my god, that's why my credit is bad because that's under my name. Is your credit bad right now? Yes, and I've been paying everything and I was like, okay, I'm paying all my bills. Why is my credit so bad? What is it at? I don't want to say it publicly. That's embarrassing. Sign it. We're literally on video. Wait. Sign it back here. Sign it back here. Oh my god. Wait. We need to pay...

No, we need to pay it now. I didn't know it was that bad. I'm over here suffering in silence. You literally need to. Yeah, we need to pay it. I was like, why is it so bad? And then I was like, oh, maybe it's a medical bill. And I went, this isn't sponsored. I went through Karma and I was like, let's see what it is. And those medical bills, I think, got like either absolved or like they just don't show up because they're from like private like health spots. Yeah. Yeah.

and i was like it's not that yeah we need to pay that literally today because that's like not fair that's not chill that's not chill at all but we and then we also have another bill for five hundred dollars and today i got so excited i was like fuck yeah like they absolved like they just washed the bill they like took the three thousand dollars away they were like you know what we'll give them a break like it was covid like and i thought i finessed the fucking system i was like they're not gonna come for their money like they're just making us pay this new bill different bill that

is also $500. But it's just a different bill that was just as expensive and now we owe like $4,000 to LA government or whatever. People are gonna think like we're really fucking stupid and we are. We are. But like the way it started was me and Drew were like sitting in

in the kitchen like this time last year with a friend of ours and we opened the bill in front of him and literally our reactions were like at the time the bill was like 1600. yeah and we had been paying the bill but i think from josh's ac unit and us running the ac for the first summer ever the bill just skyrocketed it was like a thousand dollars in one month in energy or something yeah it was like insane and we were like we opened it and we literally go

It was like an actual jump scare. I needed a trigger warning. I should have fucking sued the government for not putting a goddamn trigger warning on that bill because it was so fucking high. That bill triggered my fight or flight. And then...

Again, we love the reaction of people. And he was just like, our homie was like, oh my God, what? And like we showed him and he also was like, oh my God, I've never seen that in my life. And we were like, wait. Wait, we need to get it higher. We need to get it higher. And like something we do like on very unhealthy and very stupid and very bad. Obviously now we know for our credit or Inya's credit is like,

We just rack the bill up and we see how long we can go without paying it. It's just fun. It's a little game that adds spice to life. It's like, okay, that's not a me right now, Paula. Did you break your nail? I just fucking broke my nail. That scream was so loud. I don't even remember it. This chair is so uncomfortable with these shorts.

because they're like getting shorter as you move up okay um but yeah we just love the reaction we got out of our friends we were like we should keep doing this and i did it today i was like y'all want to see something crazy oh yeah we got a good ass reaction out of mason mason was like oh my god and that's like the best part of it but we should do that i just don't believe in bills and i don't believe in medical bills i shouldn't have to be paying for anything medically happening to me and

I'll carry that. Comrade. A medical debt? That's a debt I'll carry till the day I fucking die. I'm like, clean my teeth. No, yeah, I'll pay you later. Wink, wink. I'll pay you. No, I got you. I'm going to be like, do the surgery. Do the surgery on me. Oh, what? You're going to make... What, are you going to take it back? You're going to undo the surgery? Yeah. Try to undo the surgery. While we're exposing our... While we're exposing our medical bills, I want to talk about my gynecologist. Ah! Ah!

This one I actually have to pay because I have to go back to the gynecologist. But I can just do it for you. Yeah, just spread me open, girl. We could use some tongs. No, no. That's all you have to do is just like make me uncomfortable back. Like we play the sus game, but like the straight sus game.

That's like something. The sus game. Did you just make that up? No, that's something like if you said that even six months ago to someone that it would make absolutely no sense to them. Like actually it makes no sense now. No, you just said it to me and it made no sense. It made no sense at all. Okay.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I like, I can't believe I miss reading ads. I like, I miss the taste.

Last bill I'll expose is I went to the gynecologist like six... No, dude, it's almost a year ago now. I went to the gynecologist because I was like, I need to just go get my coochie checked on because something funky is happening down there. This discharge looks a little funky. Funky town is getting a little too funky. And honestly, her discharge did taste weird. Like...

when Keytown was violating some of the clauses in their bill. But yeah, it was itchy, itchy, stink, stink. That's the scary part. It didn't smell different. That was what was scaring me, actually. But basically, I found out that I had bacterial vaginosis and a yeast infection at the same damn time, which is pretty common. But we made sourdough bread in that oven. What's wrong with you?

When I went, they were like, oh. That was a bar, right? They were like, you have to get tests to know if you have bacterial vaginosis. And they were like, well, we have to test this swab. And the lab tests are going to run you like $500. Because I also don't have health insurance. And then I was like, okay.

Okay. And they were like, oh, but you could just pay $250 now and we'll send you the $250 bill later if that makes you more comfortable. Well, like when after we get the test results back, we'll give you the rest. And I was like, yeah, I'm going to do that because like one, I don't want to spend $500 right now. And then two, how the fuck do I know y'all are actually going to give me those results? So I was like, okay. And I spent the $250 and I was like, okay, yeah.

I even have the voice memos that I sent to you when I was like, I just spent $500 for my pussy to be fucking swabbed. But... Like, the fact that that's a voice memo on my phone. I need to find it. Basically...

Not too long later, I get a pretty little bill in the mail. And I'm like, oh, this is the 250 I owe. I opened it and it's $1,600. And it doesn't... They gave me an itemized bill. It doesn't have any late fees on there or anything. That's... See, that's why you bitches should have kept your fucking mouth shut. Letting everyone...

letting everyone know that we need, I like, I wish there was a way for everyone to know that you needed to get an itemized bill without the people themselves knowing, like the people who will give you itemized bill because now they know that they're like, bitch, don't ask any questions. We're going to send you the itemized bill. You can't even ask for it. Yeah. But basically, I haven't paid that back and I'd literally rather my fucking pussy shrivel up and fall off my body than to go back like because I die. I'm not giving y'all any

We're literally just airing out like us, like breaking the law. Like we are literally criminals and fugitives because I have a medical bill that I have insurance. Like I have insurance and for some reason they keep trying to get me to pay $260 and I'm like evading that bill. Like fuck y'all. I'm not paying that. Like come for my credit. I don't even have a credit score because I will never,

never ever ever ever get a credit score i swear to god you say that and so we need to fucking get our own apartments and how the fuck are you gonna move in you're gonna co-sign for me i will i do that for all my friends thank you i i was thinking about that last night i was like

now how the fuck am i gonna get a car in an apartment i was like i'll just have someone co-sign i literally would co-sign i co-sign for all my days i'll take the l because i don't because i don't believe in that shit anyway i'm like a credit score i don't know what the fuck you're talking about like no i'm like you can see my credit score but i don't know if you want to believe that kind of stuff like they say all sorts of lies these days no no no um but yeah we need to pay that

though because like bad like no because you're not gonna we're not gonna be able to get our own places yeah i know my credit score is not budging i'm just gonna have to be like please look like believe in me

Put some faith in me, please. Have a little trust in me. We should wait until the stock market crashes, the housing market crashes, because it's just been put afloat. They've been prolonging 2008 for so long. And then we should just buy houses because there'll be like literally pennies on the dollar. Like I will buy a $3.1 million home for $1 million and I will get rich in four years off that house, baby. That's my goal. I don't know anything about that. Anyway, let's get back to the topic of this fucking podcast.

Yeah, we went from our house almost being fucking destroyed - we were broken in Oh, and then okay, we haven't finished that yet my coochie aside We're back to 2020 and my coochie was in good faith at that point She's in good faith, dude, I'm sweating hard Anyways

sweat is natural and it's okay and if you see my sweat stains like you're lit it's chill you're lit because i'm too lit to quit i just made that up anyways so she calls me and she's like is the water working and i'm like no and then she was like okay um we're gonna come check it out so i'm just again i go back to being on iphone i'm doing my thing and then she calls me again she's like hey can you downstairs and i'm like yeah i'll come downstairs

Mind you, we have like a love-hate relationship with our landlord. Oh no, after last night, I fucking hate her. I despise her and landlords are fucking evil and now I fully believe in it. At first, I had good faith because any older woman, I'm like, you're mommy and I have issues. So like, I love it. You're my mommy. But now I fucking hate her the way everybody hates. All landlords are evil. Yeah. So, downstairs and...

At the side of the house. I don't know why this was never locked off. If it's like facing the public and very easily accessible. But again, our landlord fucking sucks actually. And the access to the water pipes was open-faced, unlocked.

locked to the fucking sidewalk like on the street it's a busy sidewalk yeah i didn't realize this until like six months ago when you were telling the story again i didn't realize it was that water no yeah it's like on the side of the house that's not gated off so you would think she has it's locked off now so if you're planning on fucking killing us you can't bitch and i won't die by the hands of anybody and i have a gun now we don't have a gun but um okay yeah sure we have a gun um

We have like rockets and shit too. Like so many guns and stuff. Yeah. And a knife and a pocket knife. And a butterfly knife and rockets and C4. I'll blow up my house before you blow me up. And I have a supreme knife, so. Ooh. I have the Gucci Guilty Ghost Knife, bitch. Okay. Yeah. There's a goddamn story. I go downstairs. I go to the side of the house. And they're like all standing around this hole in the wall. Like everybody in the building. And I'm like, you fucking old haggardy bitches. What are y'all doing? And I like pull up.

Literally. Okay. We should not get through one story. I looked down and she's like, oh yeah, very casual about it. She goes, oh, someone turned off the water on y'all side of the house and tried to set something on fire under there. And I was like, huh? And I like crawl under and look in and lo and behold, the water is turned off on our side. And also there's like this pile of burned shit that,

like not human feces but just like garbage like someone ripped up newspaper like very intentional and like took time someone ripped up newspaper there's like a coke can i was about to say and there it looked like fabric in the photo you sent yeah like someone shredded like flammable items and put them down there and like half of it was set on fire but i think because it was like surrounded by dirt it just went out really quick thank god or it's just our guardian angels

shut your fucking trap um anyways and so i was like oh this is attempted arson we need to report this this is we literally live in the most flammable city in the fucking world we need to report this literally the neighbors old haggerty people who don't fucking care about their life anymore apparently i'm like i'm young and i have a long life to live you don't care about your 40 year old life anymore but i care about my life i have 20 years to be sad like you yeah i got 20 more years so i get there but they were

it's not that big of a deal. And I was like, am I living... I feel like I'm pretty chill. Like, I'm a chill girl. She's chill. But I'm like, someone just attempted to literally burn our apartment complex down on top of... They probably thought they turned off the water in the whole fucking building. They wanted us to have no chance of putting this fire out. Yeah, like real evil shit. Yeah, and they were like, oh...

Fourth of July was yesterday. It's probably just some kids playing around. I was like, oh yeah, no, just some kids attempting arson. Yeah, like what do you mean just some kids lighting fireworks under, like, oh, and they also had like a weird fucking explanation. They were like, oh, some kid probably lit a firework and it just like shot under the house. And I was like, how is that fucking possible? This is literally a pile of flammable goods up here. Yeah.

But basically no one wants to do anything about it. And I was home alone and I was like, what the fuck? And they turned on the water and they were like, it's not a big deal. And our landlord was like, I'll just lock this up so no one does it again. And I'm like... It wasn't locked before? Yeah, it wasn't like what? And she was like, no, yeah, we'll just lock it. It's no big deal anymore. And yeah, and then I came back upstairs and I was like, I'm going to report this because like, again, attempted arson in the most flammable city. Like they tried to burn our fucking house down. Like it was like...

It was like a planned attack. They turned the water off. Yeah, I know. So I called the non-emergency line and I was like, hey, I want to like report something that happened. And they were like, okay, is this in a house or a building? And I was like, oh, it's in like an apartment building. And they were like, oh, if you're making a report on something that happened to like a person,

Property you don't own. A property you don't own, you can't file it. Your landlord has to. So I called my landlord. I was like, hey, can you file this? I would feel comfortable if this was on record just in case anything does happen and our fucking house burns down. It's like, oh, this should be looked into. Someone's tried to do this before. And she's like, no, I don't want to. And then she just never did. Yeah. And also...

When our house was broken into, we asked our landlord. We were like, yo, can you install cameras and ring doorbells? Yeah, because we were like, it's just not very secure. Yeah, it's not very secure. This is weird. And she was like, no, we can't do that. Sorry. And then that was the end of the conversation. Yeah, we were like, you can't do anything for security purposes. She was like, I don't want to. She changed the locks and that was it. Yeah. Like, okay. Like, thank you. But...

So then that happens. Yeah, so... Wait, keep going. And then, like, two weeks later, we're all very uncomfortable in this house. Terrified. Like, literally, I can't be alone. Like, it's actually sad because, like, I would go... I'd, like...

start falling asleep in my bedroom and then i'd hear something and i'd be like inya can i like come sleep in your room oh yeah drew literally had to sleep in my room for like months i could not sleep alone like i couldn't be alone in this house and then um oh like just some weird incidents that happened in between like i was home alone for the first time i was like excited to do it like it was i was like yes like i'm doing it like i actually feel kind of comfortable like i'm not like

scared shitless I mean I was scared shitless I like had knives with me in my bedroom and I was locked up in my room the whole night and I'm like getting ready to fall asleep it's like 1 or 2 a.m. and then I hear these like loud ass bangs on my front door like yeah and it's like glass so it's like fucking like

Yeah. It's just, it's not even like that. It's like fucking loud. It's loud as shit. And I'm like, Oh my fucking God. And like, literally I've never like experienced like that amount of like fear and dread and just like,

Like even in the moment of like the home invasion. No, no, because now you're having... Your body... At first you were feeling shocked, but now your body's like, oh, I know this. Yeah. I know the situation. Like I freaked the fuck out. I was like shaking, like panicking. I didn't know what to do. I was like planning on jumping out of my balcony door, like onto the cars below. And then I was like... I was freaking the fuck out. So I called India and I was like, yo, like someone's banging on the door. Someone's trying to get in. Like they're breaking in. Like I like...

Started hiding in my closet because I was just like so petrified. Like I wish I could like get across like the fear. No, it was pure fear because I was sleeping over at a friend's house and...

I got that call and I like literally immediately got up and put clothes on because I was like, oh my God, something's happening. Yeah, I was genuinely terrified and like I don't want to like self-diagnose or anything but like for like a long time, I genuinely think I had like real PTSD like from that. That's literally not self-diagnosing because PTSD is literally when...

you're you've rewired your brain now and like even like the slightest chance of like danger you go into full-fledged mode because your body or your brain cannot like identify a situation whether it's like oh this is like worst case scenario or not like your brain is just like we need to protect because last time we weren't ready to protect like it was it was just so gnarly i was freaking the fuck out and then like um

Like I'm freaking the fuck out. And so I'm like, okay, I just, I have to go. I have a knife. I have a knife. Like I'll be safe. So I go to the front door and literally it was a fucking Postmates driver. And Orion accidentally ordered Postmates to our house at 2 a.m. Which like, just at the wrong time. Yeah. Like the worst possible time. Like if Inya was here, it would have been okay. Yeah, because I'd probably have been like, who the fuck is that? And just like, because also mind you, like,

Even after last night, I don't have a lot of fear in this house. But that's also because I have actual fucking boiled wine brain and I'm just like, hmm. Real shit to be afraid of. Yeah. I spent too much of my life afraid of something that was going to happen. Which is a lie because I did get very scared. But whatever. But yeah, and then I came and got Drew. Yeah, they came and picked me up and then I went and slept at that friend's house because I could not be alone. And I ruined the night.

No, it was a sleigh. We weren't doing anything. We were literally vibing. I don't like... When I do my sleepovers, like, I'm in for... Like, there's no sleeping at the over. There's no sleeping till it's over. Hey! Okay. And then...

So, two weeks after the fucking fire incident. The arson incident. Yeah, the attempted arson. Me, Josh, and Drew were all at home. And our sleeping schedules are pretty bad at this point. Like, I was staying up until like 6, 7 a.m. And everyone else was. And we were like, fuck. Okay, let's just figure out...

let's just fix our sleeping schedule and and so we just like literally just eat a bunch of sleep aid like not a bunch like a normal amount but we're like let's get our sleeping schedule back on track like let's like do this like let's all wake up at 7 a.m tomorrow and just like start our day and have a good day so like we we take the sleeping medicine

And I go to my room. And also at this time, if you know my room, my room was originally the living room of this house. So I didn't have like doors. Like there's two entryways to what is my room now, but what was supposed to be the main living room. There's two entryways. There's like a glass door that you swing open. And then there was just an empty space. So at this point, I still didn't have a door. I still didn't have anything to cover up that fucking glass door. I was living in a fucking...

In a viewing room. In a glass shed. In a literal like living room. Yeah, like literally. Covered in windows. There's a balcony. Couldn't use my wing bot. Someone could have easily. What was that? Just a random TikTok started playing. Couldn't use my wing bot. Couldn't do anything I wanted in my room because I didn't have a room. I was living in the living room. Your wing bot junior 3000. Yeah, I couldn't. Explain to the people what a wing bot is. They don't know. Oh, I don't want that to be public information. Fine. Okay.

me and orion call our vibrator we have the same one and we call it wing bot because it looks like a little wing it looks like a little chicken wing yeah okay um so yeah you get the juice no privacy my room is empty and also the house gets really fucking dark at night and i was honestly so freaked out because it was just pitch black in my room and again we're in summertime i have the windows kind of open because i want the breeze to come in and

We all take our sleeping medicine. We're drowsy. I go to my room and I'm watching YouTube videos and I hear a child scream. A screech. Like a scream. Not a scream, like a blood curdling screech. And at this point, it's like almost 1 a.m. So I was like, that's not normal. But you know, one scream. Okay, I can let that pass.

And I keep watching and I'm also drowsy. So I'm like, I can't like rate my reaction right now. I don't know if I'm overreacting. So that one scream, I'm like, whatever. And then I keep watching my video and then I hear another scream and it's like getting closer to my room. And I was like,

This is not okay. Yeah. And my windows were open, but like the blinds were down. Yeah. So I like kind of go and peek and I don't see anything. And I'm like, this is so fucking weird. So, so scary. And so then you like text me and you're like, Drew, there's like a kid screaming outside my window right now. And I'm like, oh, it's probably just like someone getting home late after a road trip, blah, blah, blah. Or it's probably our neighbor, blah, blah, blah. Like, let's not put too much thought into it. And then...

It like keeps getting worse. And I'm like, no, please come and listen. Cause it keeps like, it was going on forever. Yeah. And then he comes to my room and he hears it. And we're just like,

Like when I tell you like instant like, like blood, I mean blood like flushes out of my face. Like I become like pale. I get goosebumps. Like I have like shivers on my body. Like it was not like a normal scream and literally Enya has like a recording. Cause this is the second time. Actually I have both instances on video, but the other one's on my phone, other phone. This is the scream, but this is like a year later. Like this scream happened again. But it's just like,

terrible like what is that like what is that also i remember someone was like it's a coyote i'm like have you heard a fucking coyote yeah that's not a fucking coyote that is not a coyote um so like our we don't live in an area for coyotes we live in like the city the middle of the city and so we hear that we're both petrified inya is like

or i'm like okay like let's go investigate like let's like let's go see what this is i want a story like i want to like bust the the case of it and i'm just like there's a kid being killed and i just want to make sure that there's no kid being killed yeah so like i just want to see and make sure we both wanted to like investigate we were like let's like figure this out like we but for different reasons like i wanted i wanted clout um but

But we were also like, dude, we're so drowsy off this sleeping medicine. This feels like a bad idea. But I was like, okay, we're not doing anything crazy. I was like, let's not walk down the street because God forbid there's danger. Which, again, is ass backwards because we were drowsy off sleeping medicine. But we didn't take fucking...

We weren't on like a downer. We were literally on Z-Quil. It was like I could sleep if I wanted. Yeah. But I wasn't like delusional. But basically, I'm like, let's just get in my car. We can drive down the street and like turn our flashes down because if it is a kid, I don't want a kid to be like scared of my headlights and be like,

And like hide or anything, which I don't know why I thought that, but it kind of makes sense. Delusional off the sleeping medicine. Yeah. So I was like, I'm going to turn off my headlights and like drive down the street. I was all for it in the moment. I was like, yeah, no, definitely. Like this is the way to do it. Even now I'm like, it kind of makes sense, but it really doesn't. But whatever. Yeah.

We're cruising down the street now, like, looking out our windows, like, trying to see if we see this kid anywhere. And, like, there's nothing. And mind you, this is within, like, 30 seconds of the kid screaming. So, like, he couldn't have or they couldn't have gone far at all. Like, if there was, like, a kid, like, in danger out there. So we're, like, cruising down the street looking for, like, this child. We see nothing. And then, like, we pull up a little bit further.

to um this like house that we thought was vacant yeah um because like no one has ever been there the entire time we've lived here like there's never been a car parked in there and randomly there's like a car parked there it's like 2 a.m behind the gate behind the gate with the trunk up and there's three women like just unloading like huge bags giant bags of just like

We don't know what. Yeah, we don't know. And you can assume they were moving in because also like they had their blinds open and it's such a weird like memory to think of because like

the lights in their house were like fluorescent like white bright lights and the walls were all white in there it was empty it was completely yeah the home was empty so like you could assume they were moving in but what they said to us was so fucking weird so suspect they they were just chilling out there and we um like we we pull up to like talk to them so we like i was like here let me like see if they heard anything so i rolled down my window and they're like oh do you live here

And we're like, what? We're like, do we live there? Like, do y'all live there? Like y'all are parked in the parking lot. Cause they were like, do you live here? Do you need us to move our car? And we were like, what? What do you mean? And so instant red flags, like, I don't know about any, but my heart started racing. I was like, this is very, very weird. Like what is happening? So then I'm like, I'm just going to ask them like, did y'all hear a kid screaming? Like, did y'all hear that kid screaming like less than two minutes ago? And they were like,

No, like it felt like almost defensive. It was just weird. Yeah. Like, no, we didn't hear anything. We haven't heard anything. Yeah. So we were like, huh? And I was like, how long have y'all been outside? And they were like, oh, we've been here a while. Yeah. Like, I don't know. It was just so suspect. And we were kind of like me and Inya instantly were just like weirded the fuck out. So like we turned the lights on. We get the fuck out of there. We like drive around the block. And I was like, don't pull in.

to... Irrational fears just started taking over. Yeah, we just started freaking out. I was like, don't pull into our driveway. Like, I don't want them to see where we live. Just pull around the block and go the back way because I don't want them to see that we live in this house so they can come and attack us. So like, we drive around the block and then I'm like, you know what? I'm curious. I want to see if they're still out there. So like, Inya like,

pulls out and then we see this like fucking scary ass man like stumbling down the street like like

If you've seen Attack on Titan, like, running like one of the Titans. Like, just, like, fucking weird as shit. And we're... Me and Anya are staring at this and we're like, it looks like he's coming, like, right at us. Yeah. And then it also looked like he had a kid on his shoulders. Again, just, like, our brains were going, like, everywhere. Yeah, so we were freaking the fuck out at this dude just, like, charging at us. And we were like, oh my god, like, he's gonna attack us. Like, he's, like...

I don't know what he is. I must be the Titans because they're going to attack me. I haven't seen the show. You're not the Titan. He's the Titan. Oh, yeah. Dumbass. Don't reference shit you don't know, especially if it's like a really good anime. I'm a girl. Yeah, girls don't watch anime. But.

But yeah, so basically we got scared and then we drove around. I drove around the block because I didn't want him to see where we lived. And we finally got home. And then I was so fucking scared shitless. Me and Drew slept in his room and I slept on the floor. Yeah, we slept on the opposite side of the house. Because we were like, if there's a kid out there screaming, like, I don't want to hear it again. And like looking back, we probably should have like reported that. But like literally we had just already reported like two crimes. Yeah, something. And I was like, yeah.

Yeah, two things. And I was like, I don't want to... The other thing, like, other than the home invasion, was literally, like, a homeless dude walking down the street, like, maybe less than a week after the house was invaded. I think this one happened after the scream. Oh, really? Yeah. I can't remember. Yeah, whatever. But basically, we...

I was already asleep, so I'll let Inya tell this story. Me and Josie were hanging out in my room, and we were just like on. No, yeah, this was after because I think I had a door at this point because I remember we locked my door. Yeah, so this was after the scream. We were finally settling back down. We were like, okay, life is okay. We can live here. And me and Josie were hanging out in my room at like 1 a.m., and then we hear yelling, and we're like, we stop our phones and any music, and we're like,

What is that? Like, like, like that type of yelling. What was that? What was that? That's literally me and Justin. We're like, hold on. What was that? So we hear like fucking mumbling and screaming and then we're like frozen in fear. Grown man screaming. Yeah, a grown ass man. And then we just hear glass shattering and our front door is glass and it, it,

Well, after we realized why it sounded like it was fucking at our front door, but we heard it at our front door and me and Josie or Josie ran to Drew's room and I like was looking out the window to see if anybody was around, which again, like I'm brave as shit in these events. I'm just like, let me put my whole fucking face in view so they know that like a woman is in the house. Like, like.

So dumb. But Josie went to go wake up Drew and Drew is like panicking. I like I was deep asleep at this point. And Josiah like shakes me awake. He's like, Drew, Drew, like glass is breaking. Like someone's someone's here. Like, wake up, like wake up. And he has a knife in his hand. And I'm like, Josiah, this is like the worst joke to play on me ever right now. Like, I'm literally so scared. I'm already asleep. Like, I'm basically crying at this point.

Freaked the fuck out. Still like PTSD ridden from the fucking home invasion. And Josiah's like, I'm not fucking joking. Again, I go into this fear mode. My heart's racing. Like I'm petrified. We all like run to my room and lock it. And we're like all in there and like... And I like call the police. And I'm like...

I don't know. Like, I hear glass breaking. And, like, also, last time when that guy broke into our house, he actually broke the neighbor... The downstairs neighbor's doors... Windows first. So, I was like, dude, I don't know if it's, like, our windows or their windows. But, like, something just broke. I heard glass shatter and, like, a man screaming and, like, rustling around. But I don't know what's happening. The return of the intruder. Literally. And then...

The police show up fucking forever later because that's what they do. They're like, that doesn't sound... No one's dead, I guess. Yeah, fuck. So they show up finally. It takes fucking forever. Remember, I actually had to call them again because I was like, no one's here still. They're like, they're patrolling the block. I'm like, girl, shut the fuck up. Patrol the house. Patrol my ass. Yeah.

And then they come and they basically laugh in our face and they're like, what? It was just a homeless person who threw a glass bottle at your front doorstep, at your door. And there was glass everywhere. And they're so fucking stupid. They were like, did you do this? I was like, yeah, no, I did it. In my drunken stoop, I just broke glass and then called y'all. Yeah, we did it. So annoying. But basically they laughed at us and they were like, well, there's literally no one around. And I was like, yeah, because y'all took an hour to get here, bitch. Yeah.

But that was that. And then we were safe for a while. Life was good. Like, almost a year. Yeah, a year of nothingness other than when you got high and freaked out. You thought people... I got high. I got, like... I don't get high often, but when I do, I get high. People really don't believe the, like, paranoia. Yeah, no. I get, like, high, high. Like...

paralyzed in fear high and off of nothing. Yeah. Like it was like two milligram weed drink that I like got absolutely blasted in the outer space. And like, I go to my room and I'm laying there and like my room has a bunch of windows and like you can see into our backyard and into our neighbor's backyard and you can see where it was like trash day. And so all the trash cans were on the street and I was like,

like I was hearing rustling around and I was like, Ooh, I'm about to see like a raccoon, like fun. And then like, I like here are like our garbage cans like open and like, there's like digging in the garbage can. And I look over there and I'm like, I'm like, there's a, there's a guy in our garbage can digging. He called me.

like oh yeah i was like people do that because they like get the cans and you were like i was and you were like but he's in the backyard yeah i was like so scared like irrationally afraid and then i like see like a white figure like dart through our bushes in the backyard and i'm like they're in our backyard like they're coming they're gonna break into the house like and like anya's like like comes into my room and like calms me down and i'm like

But it was literally probably just a raccoon the entire time. Yeah, I did. Like there's a chance I wasn't even a human. Yeah, but like I was terrified. But that was the only time I was scared. But yeah, other than that, we've had a very calm year. And despite everything, it's my luck because I haven't like actually experienced like seeing another random stranger human in our house and like had that kind of fear. Stranger human. I haven't seen like a stranger in the house, so I don't have that kind of fear.

But I'm chill alone. Like, I enjoy spending time alone in the house. And I like to claim that I'm not scared of anything. But actually, that's a lie. I'm not scared of ghosts and shit because I don't believe in that shit. But I do believe in fucking scary ass murderers who want to kill me for no reason. So, last night, we invite Mason and Orion and Zamar, who ended up backing out. Which I wish Zamar was here because Zamar's reaction would have been so funny. So...

Me, Drew, Orion, and Mason watched The Bachelor last night. So we're having a little Bachelor night. And we're sitting there and we're watching and whatever. And Drew ends up going to sleep because we had a long-ass day. And we stay up and we finish. And then we stay up even longer and we're watching TikToks on the TV. And just doing what young people do. Yeah, just chilling. Like a hard chill sesh. Hardcore chilling. And then it's midnight.

Mason and Ryan are like Alright We're gonna leave And I was like Okay cool And I go downstairs To walk them out You're like Okay finally Y'all overstayed Y'all's welcome Every fucking time I'm like I wanna fucking go to sleep Y'all are so fucking Y'all smell like shit Um But I'm like That's perfect 1230 We have the podcast tomorrow I need to go to sleep anyways Um

So I go to walk them out, and I, like, I follow them downstairs to lock the door and, like, to hug them by. So, like, I hug them by, and they turn around, and they both turn to me because we were talking about, like, going to a bar or something, like, this week. And they were, like, and Orion turns, and she's like, oh, just hit me up, like, whenever you're free and you want to do that. And I was like, okay. And then she, like, looks to the side, and she's like, like, Orion's shocked face is the best. So funny. She's like, oh. Yeah, she goes, oh. But she goes, oh.

um, and like pushes me back in and Mason's like looks to the side. I was like, Oh my God. And it's like also scared. And she's like, your neighbor's door is just fucking wide open and it's dark in there. And I was like, what? It's like 1230. Yeah. It's like 1230. And this is like an old couple. So it's not normal behavior at all. So I like close the door behind me because Azul's like roaming the house and I don't want her to get out. Um,

Again, my main worry through anything is always Azul's well-being because she's literally my child. She's helpless. She's fucking stupid. That's what she is. Oh, little Azul. We need to have an episode with Azul. We need to interview Azul. Yeah, we could just fucking put her in a kennel here and she'll scream for an hour. That would actually be awesome. That would be hilarious. That's our day off. Okay.

like, I start laughing because when I'm nervous or, like, uncomfortable, I start cracking the fuck up. So I'm just, like, cracking up and I'm like, stop, stop! And I start laughing my ass off and then we... I was just like, okay, let's just, like, stand outside for a second and see. Maybe they, like...

left the house to go grab something out of their car and they're like coming back. I don't know. I was just like making up things they could have been doing and smoking a blunt on the street. Yeah, maybe like this 80 year old couple was like, fuck it. Like, let's go grab

grab ketamine off of our dealer. He just pulled up like, let's just go grab it. So we were standing there and nothing. So I start cracking up and I'm like, stop. No, I'm not kidding. I don't like this. I can't do this again. Also, for more info, I just binge watched that whole JCS like criminology fucking psycho criminology account. Like I just watched

So many things about murder. Literally, like, 30 hours of murder. Yeah, I just consumed 13 hours of pure murder, terror, and, like, human... Mutilation. Deception and mutilation. So I'm... My mind is like, oh, my God, yeah, no, they got killed. They got killed. Like, they're dead or... Or we're dead next. Yeah, they broke in there. They killed the family. And, like, dipped. So I'm freaked out. And Mason and Ryan were like, okay, so...

And, like, Orion's like, just fucking go inside. Like, because we were just like, okay, let's not make this a big deal. Whatever, go inside. And I was like, I don't like this. And Mason was like...

do you want me to stay because i was like drew's literally asleep and if i wake drew up he's gonna just freak out like it's not gonna be helpful like i'm just gonna scare him yeah like i don't want to like scare him further so i was just like oh my god and mason's like do you want me to stay and because i can't ask anybody in my life for help ever even if i'm like in pure fear and whatever um i ignored him and i was like no you guys could go home i guess and i start crying because i'm like i

I'm freaking out. And I like just melt into pure fear. And like, I'm not too close to Mason, but he saw me at like one of my weakest points last night. Like, cause I just like melted into fear and,

And then basically we're like, okay, let's just try and close it. And Orion was like, I'll just close it. Like they probably, maybe they left it open. And I was like, okay. And she goes to close it, but it won't close. And like... There's a dead body on the other side. Stop. Holding it up. She went to go close it and it wouldn't close. And then we started freaking out. And now her fingerprints are on the scene. Yeah. She closed it. It like didn't close all the way, but it was like kind of close. And I was like, okay. And we were standing there for... It was like still a foot open though. Yeah. No, no. It like...

It held for a second and then it was like kind of windy out and it just like fully blew back up. And we were like, no! And we all ran into my house and I was like freaking out and we didn't know what to do. And we were like calling our friends and we were like, what do we do? Like, I was like, I don't want to fucking call the police, dude. They fucking suck balls. They're not helpful. So then we didn't know what to do because it was like now almost 1 a.m. And I hit up my landlord and I was like, hey, like there's a situation happening. And I like said the address of...

This is where I fucked up. Yeah. I said the building number instead of the actual apartment number. Yeah. So she assumed I was talking about another apartment and this comes in later, but I just wanted to clarify. So I'm like, there's a situation happening here, blah, blah, blah. And then, um,

our friends on who we called were just like okay just like knock on the door like maybe they went to sleep because i was even saying i was like dude we're probably overreacting they probably they're an older couple they forgot to close the door it's not that deep like whatever so orion was like do you want me to knock on the door and i was like yes because i literally can't do that and so she rung the doorbell and knocked on the door and we stood there for a minute and nothing and then i was like

Do I ring it again? And we just stood there for five minutes ringing the doorbell. Literally hell. And it's not the kind of doorbell that like the sound is at the front. The sound was coming from the back, like in the house, like upstairs in the house. So I kept ringing it and I even gave it like a double ring, like a triple ring at some point and nothing. So I was like, dude, there's no one in there. There's dead bodies in there. Yeah, there's no one alive in there.

And I was like, no, yeah, they fucking, they're dead. And then at this point, I'm like dead asleep, right? Yeah. And then like for some reason, I can just like feel this energy. Like I feel this energy shift and like there's just this vibe turn. And so I like, I wake up. I wake up and I go in there because I can feel this energy shift because I like have really great intuition. Motherfucking liar. Okay.

He told us that he got cold, so he woke up to turn off his fucking AC, and then he heard us freaking out. No, no, no, no, no. I felt this energy, like... No, you're a fucking liar, bitch. So my landlord calls me, and Drew pulls up finally, and he hears, like, the tail end of it, and it's basically she's thinking...

Or my landlord's just like, oh, they're out of town. Yeah, they're out of town. No one should be in that unit. Like it should be locked. And that piques our interest. Yeah, that like sends me over. I'm like, stop. I fucking hate this. And I was like, OK, no. So I'm like, I'm just going to call the non-emergency line because my landlord also sucks fucking balls and won't do anything and won't do anything. A landlord like, girl, your job is to lord the land. Like and you're not lording the land. You're telling one of your payers everything.

to lord the land because she was like she's like hmm what do you think we should do and i'm like why the fuck are you asking me bitch yeah and i'm like well get your ass over here and lock the fucking door yeah okay me earlier being like now as a 22 year old i would yell at her but i still can't because i'm like scared i'm like what if she kicks me out basically um she's like what what should we do and i was like i don't know and she's like okay call the police and have them inspect and make sure that there's no random people in the house and then um

tell me what happens then and i was like sure and i hung up and she i was like she's telling me to fucking full-on investigation so loud yeah and she's like break the law real quick and then she's like or like are your roommates there like are one of the men in the house can they lock the door because i you're literally you shouldn't do that she she's like are any of the men in the house like like i'm a man like yeah i literally said to her i was like

I was like, there's boys in the house. We don't have men here. Yeah, mind you. And she like laughed and she's like, okay, have one of them close the door. And I was like, what? Basically, I end up calling the non-emergency. I tell them and they're like, oh, yeah, we have to send a patrol unit there. Like, it's a fucking open house. Like, we have to... There might be someone inside. Yeah, there might be someone squatting in there. So...

They send the two most rinkety dinkety like fucking bullshit cops I've ever seen in my entire life. They send literally children. Also, there are fucking aides. It takes two hours. And I'm not kidding. It takes two fucking hours for anyone to show up. I had to call three times. And but in between, it was so funny because we would like, we were standing in silence.

Okay, we sat on the stairs for literally two hours basically just like listening for sounds from the apartment and we'd hear like a single like literally our old house just creaking And at one point we like went down the stairs to like investigate a little more and like I like am recording I actually just got chills from the sound and like I'm recording and we're all like dead silence and we hear this like like

like breathing sound from inside the apartment and like we all freak the fuck out we scream and run back inside if someone was in there we were not being good at being like we don't know what's happening don't kill us we we sounded like we wanted to be killed we were like screaming all the time and we were like good thing I have

my gun yeah I was like I have guns and knives and RPGs and I'm ready to blow up anybody who tries to come into this house dude so stupid but we got a lot of funny footage out of it but basically I'm gonna play one of our screens actually because it's actually hilarious also this story gets very embarrassing on my side not fully embarrassing I do want to say like I did it all in good faith

Like, that's us after hearing, like, breathing from the apartment on the other side. Like, probably someone inside the door that just fell down the stairs and broke the neck. Like, help me. So, okay. Before I make a fool out of myself and say what ended up happening, I want to say that

I did it all in good faith. It's still, I would like if, if my home was just open all night, especially like we don't live in a bad area, but we live in a busy area. Like a lot of randoms because we live in such a middle ground between like two parts of the cities that a lot of people. And our apartment complex has literally been invaded. Yeah. Our apartment complex is just like notorious for like people trying to break in, breaking in, pulling up. Because we're on the corner of like a busy intersection. Yeah. We're on the corner of like a really busy street.

street two streets and so i was just like dude even if like they're up there like i am personally scared to one knock because i don't know if they're up there i don't know if it's a random person up there i don't know if no one's up there i don't want to like fully involve myself and put myself and my friends in danger so i'm just like i need to call someone else to like litigate this situation and like

Yeah, it was just like a weird thing of like, do I shut my mouth and close my door and like have good faith that like everybody in the world is good and that if someone walked by and saw this door open that they wouldn't kill them? Or do I take that burden off of my shoulder and just be like, okay, like I would want someone to do this for me. Like if my door was open, I would want someone to call help and be like, close your door, please. And also we had knocked the fuck out. We were being loud. You heard in that clip, we were being so loud. So in our head, we were like,

Either no one's in there or someone's in there and like... Needs help. Needs help or something. Or there's someone in there just like rummaging through the crib and they're scared shitless. Yeah, and they're like, oh, someone knows I'm in here. Like, whatever. So, finally...

the cops show up the most yeah yeah the most like they were our age we literally called two people our age with like the same education as us but except for some reason they were legally allowed what i think it was is it was a minor emergency so i think they just sent them on like a little training exhibition because yeah because they were like calling for help and they were like i don't know what to do next like they really didn't know what they were doing but like

Whatever. So I explained the situation to them. And like in my head, also for more context, I, as far as we thought, no one was supposed to be in the house. We thought that couple was on vacation because we, I had a big miscommunication with my landlord, which honestly is still on her fucking fault because I, I described it. I was like, Oh, it's the older couple, the two like older people.

people who live next to us that's who i'm talking about i was like very clear that i was talking about them and she still didn't get the hint but whatever it's miscommunication it's kind of all my fault but it's also her fucking fault because she's a landlord and she could have just pulled up and locked the door yeah that would have solved everything she i because i asked her i was like do you have an extra key she was like yeah but can you just close it and i'll lock it in the morning and i was like no no also we tried to wiggle the the handle shut and it wouldn't close because our house is really old and all the handles like you really have to wiggle to get closed

So I was like, and I'm not doing that because if someone's in there and like thinks I'm a fucking intruder and kills me, then what the fuck do I do? Basically. Then how are we going to record the podcast? I'm like, you don't understand. I have a podcast tomorrow. Like get your ass over here. Figure this out. Come on. Also, not me saying the name of my landlord. We have to leave that out. Basically, the cops ask, I explain and they're like, all right, well,

We're going to go up. We're going to go up. You're going to hear us yell that it's like the police. And if you're rummaging, it's us. And we're like, okay. So we're all like being nosy as fuck and standing next to the wall. Which is extremely dangerous because our wall, we share a wall with this apartment. And God forbid the cops shot someone and shot our head with a bullet through our wall. So that wasn't smart on us, but we were all being nosy. And we were all like listening through the wall. And...

we hear that someone's in the house and like we're like yes like we're like oh my god we just we just we just like stop we just saved the world we stopped the home invasion and then we keep listening and we're like they just said our landlord's name you're like the person who's who just broke into that house knows the name of the landlord that's odd and we keep listening and then i'm like we hear two voices yeah it's a man and a woman and i'm like oh they're kind of voice and like

They don't our neighbors don't speak English. I was like doesn't sound like their English is coming out too. I'm like, oh Stay then I'm like I think I just called I think I just ordered a breaking and entering by the police on my fucking Basically what ended up happening is I had a miscommunication with the landlord which again This is her fucking fault because she just pulled up with the goddamn key and closed the fucking door like it was her job to fucking do I wouldn't have to get involved so heavily and

she thought I was talking about a different neighbor who was on vacation and this older couple was not on vacation. They were home. And they just left their front door open and went to sleep with it open. And we just called the cops on our neighbors who were just peacefully sleeping in their bed. And now they have extreme PTSD. And like they were petrified. They were talking about it this morning still for like two hours while I was awake just running around. Rightfully so, dude. I felt so bad. I felt like a fucking idiot. Yeah.

but again in my head I was like dude their door Drew even got it on video which we won't show because I don't want to like show our neighbor's door but like their door was wide open and our shit is lit up like if you were walking by you could easily see that so I don't have any regrets in the fact that like I am like such a I'm just an empath and like I like think about people like that and I like I didn't want

- See that's your problem, like you let people's emotions get ahold of you. And you need to like take care of that. - I know, I need to like take care of myself and like be a little more selfish, but I just can't help it because like other people-- - You feel for other people. I'm like what's called a sociopath. - Oh, what's that? - Like I don't care about anybody's feelings at all.

and like well maybe that's why we make a good match because like i do all the caring and you do all the like yeah and i don't even think i have emotions so that's good like i wish i had that and like i like because i know but like actually i have like i have such a deep deep deep care for people that like sometimes it hurts me but like i just like love the idea that i'm like better than a lot of people oh yeah like i will always care for other people oh see i'm like different because like i want to see people you know that's bad so you shouldn't keep repeating it and i want people to die

But yeah, that's how I made a fucking fool of myself. I'm a goddamn disgrace and a mockery and I was so fucking embarrassed. Life is good. Life is good. And that's the episode. I'm so fucking sweaty. We need to get an AC situation figured out if we're going to keep filming in here. But it'll be so loud with all the mics. What we should do is blast the AC in here before we film so we have at least 10-15 minutes of like cool air. True, true. Fill up the room. Okay, so...

And, yeah. So that concludes... Oh, shit. We're going to say our favorite media, but... Yeah. That concludes our...

Our cursed, fucking, scary, terrifying home that everyone's probably like, why do y'all still live there? Like, y'all have like... I personally like this apartment. Y'all have like terrible experiences there. Like, literally y'all are in danger there. Like, what's keeping y'all there? Home is where the heart is. And my heart is here, baby. Home is where you piss the bed. Ha ha ha.

So you'd be pissing the bed here? Yeah, I have a purple mattress. Oh, yeah. So it just gets into like, it's like an ice cube tray. Exactly, exactly. But it's like warm. And then in the morning you can stick a straw in there. Yeah, it's like really, really good. Okay, shut the fuck up. Let's get into media and then y'all can go on your merry fucking way and have a good rest of your day and think about how traumatic our life is and how you should care about us the way I care about other people because I am an empath. And I'm a sociopath. All right.

I go first, you fucking bitch. Go ahead. So I have a few of my favorite songs. I don't have like a favorite album, but I have a few favorite songs. Oh, I have. Hey, get out of my way by the cardigans.

Lumberjack by Tyler, the creator. Oh, that was going to say that one. I was just about to say, actually, by the time this comes out, like the album would have been out for like three weeks. Um, so people are going to be like, damn bitch, you're fake. Like you like that. Your favorite song off the album is the single. I haven't heard the album yet. Yeah. So the single is my favorite.

And then Smoking Gun by Magnolia Shorty and then Blouse by Clairo. And those are my four songs. She's been blasting Blouse by Clairo. Yeah. She loves that song. It makes me feel sweet and sexy and I love her. I'm going to do a movie in a couple songs, I think. Yeah, I don't have a movie, bitch. Oh, actually, The Birdcage. That's my movie. Oh, yeah, you've been talking about that. I still need to watch that. Happy Pride!

My movie is The Parent Trap. Watch it. Rewatch it. It is master class cinema. It doesn't really get better than that. And like you actually lose Lindsay Lohan in her roles. And she's playing very, very complex positions or characters. And like not enough people like talk about like how good she actually acted as like a child in that movie. And yeah, y'all should just watch it and watch it with like a very critical lens. And like... Shut up.

Have fun with it. Watch it and then make an eight paragraph description on Letterboxd. Girl, you know what song I'm going to say? West Coast by Lana Del Rey. Oh, wow. Listen to that fucking song again. You know what song I was thinking of the other day? It was like, who you are. What? Like an American. Who you are.

And also Always Returning by Brian Eno. Listen to that. Listen to West Coast by Lana Del Rey. Have some fun while watching The Parent Trap and live your fucking life. And read The Body Keeps the Score. I'm only two chapters in, but literally when you were talking about PTSD and I said all that crazy dumb shit, that's not from my brain. I learned that from that book. Ooh, but that is from your brain because you learned it from a book. Okay, that was this episode of Emergency Intercom.

Thank you for listening to Emergency Intercom. Be back next week. We'll be here. And maybe more queer. Okay, bye.