Going back to the kitchen 01:00:37

Princess, look out the window and welcome to Genovia. No. I just thought we were touching. No, we were touching stuff like it's like sad. No.

Okay, I know it's been 99 degrees in the house, but I don't know why you thought that glue would have like reliquified and gotten that back up on the wall. I know. Oh my God.

We are so back. We are so back in a big way. Oh, also, welcome back to Emergency Intercom. I was saying to Drew what this feels like is like that fucking edit, like the sound on TikTok that everybody uses when they get a shitty hotel room. It's like...

Welcome, Princess of Genovia. And then they open the curtain. It's like the shittiest room you could get. That is what this is. No, girl, what was her fucking Nikki Blonsky giving a room tour of her hotel at Comic Con or whatever the fuck? Oh, this TV. Everybody needs a TV this big in their house. No, I think what's even worse is she goes, no one needs a TV this big. She's so real. And then opening the blinds to the fucking parking lot. So literally the parking lot.

The garbage cans. Yeah, we're so back, y'all. Happy to be back here. Back in the fucking... Actually, the realty is...

God clocked your fucking seat because women belong in the kitchen and he puts your ass right back into the fucking kitchen. Right back in the fucking kitchen. Let's have that conversation. It is so insane to be sexist like that but start the sentence with the real tea is God clocked your tea. Like that's crazy. Ugh.

Also, if you're wondering, oh my God, where is the chair? The chair hasn't made it home yet. Literally landed back in LA last night. Yeah, it's not because we don't have custody over her. She'll be back soon. She'll be back soon. But I just didn't have time to go pick her up. Yeah, we literally landed back last night and we're already back to it, guys. We are just hardworking girls. Am I a bad parent?

Yeah. You're like the worst kind of parent. Like. Just like. I just. I don't know. I just feel bad. That I left her there for three weeks. Four weeks. I mean you are an awful parent. And she'll. Like. And the thing is. You think. Like. How old is she now? Like. Six.

five years old oh my god that's the worst time oh my god she's a toddler four through six she's gonna have crazy abandonment she's actually a toddler though like when you think about it like it was living in my she's aging awfully those white jeans are catching up to her spoiled milk aging like a fucking dried milk yeah

Wait, why don't we say people age like cottage cheese? I think people do. Cottage cheese? But cottage cheese is so yummy. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I give cottage cheese. Guys, all I ate in Miami was tuna, so. Bitch, I can smell it. I stink.

I can smell it. Oh, my God. Yesterday, I felt so bad on the plane ride back. I was sitting next to some 19-year-old who definitely has way too good of a life for a 19-year-old, which also annoys me because I have a really bad issue where, like, if I'm next to somebody who before the age of, like, 22 has a good life, it just makes me really mad for some reason. Like, whatever. Your hair is pretty today with the braids down the front. Thank you. I've had to start doing this because my bangs are growing so slow.

that I'm like this close to cutting my bangs again but I already know like a lot of y'all are dealing with meth addiction I'm dealing with bangs addiction nobody talks about those are as equally as hard and I'm dealing with banging your mom addiction and I'm dealing with an ozumpic addiction oh yeah and his hell on no the thing is Freudian slip I said and his hell on Xanax

Which is also true. But it's fentanyl laced, obviously. But I was making like 18 jokes about addiction within the span of 30 seconds is fucking insane. But we're allowed to. We're allowed to.

Yeah, because I'm actively addicted. I'm addicted to it. We need to do that for people who talk about their getting clean story. It needs to be like, I'm addicted to it. And then it can transition into an Adrienne Linker song. Oh, I'm addicted to it. I could be a good mother if I try. Shut the fuck up.

I'm really addicted to Ozumpic, guys. And it's not for the reasons you think I'm addicted to it because it gives me a high and nobody talks about that online. Like, a lot of your faves are addicted to it because it makes me, like, literally high. Like, I... That's the small I look on the fucking camera. Right.

I look tiny. Like, do you see me over there? I know. Somebody met me in person the other day and was like, oh, like, I thought you were way taller. And then I was like, yeah, it's probably also because, like, when Drew's on that chair, you, like, think he's so tall. So I, like, look, like, tall. Like, if that makes sense. Mm-hmm.

Because you're seeing his full body. So in your head, you're probably like, oh, I'm just not seeing her full body. But you look so tight. I look like a little guy. I swear, girl, I am 5'7". I hit 5'7 last week. I'm not 5'4". Like, hi, I am 5'7". Are you actually only 5'7"? No. I'm 5'11". Just want to be clear, I'm not 5'4".

I am almost six foot, but we can talk about how I'm six one. You're not six one. I'm almost six one. Five eleven. Five eleven is not that far off from six one. If you think about the scale of the universe, it basically is. It gives you really. It's really. We're basically six two. OK. Five eleven. Six foot six one. That's two inches. If a bullet hit you, almost hit you two inches away that you'd be like, oh, fuck. Like I almost got hit by a bullet.

so why am i not almost six one john john please save me did i'm obsessed with like what's happening where like now

I saw somebody being like, Kamala HQ, Kamala HQ. Like, I am so obsessed with the usage of, like, right-wing Republicans being fucking insane online and, like, normal people using it for the other side. Like, it's so funny. Like, the irony-poisoned culture we live in is just so, like, the sense of humor that fucking twink at Kamala HQ is using is so advanced and so confusing and I eat it up every fucking time and...

It's gonna do it for me. It's gonna do it for me. I don't give a fuck if they're using the internet tools on me. It works. That's why the internet is there. Also, to be clear, I'm not on fucking Ozempic. Have y'all ever heard of somebody gaffing about themselves? I gaff about myself. You have no gaffs for yourself. It's different. Should we do a fridge tour right now? Okay, we just got back and there's olives and rotten cheese.

Stop. Please stop. And 10 pounds of Wingstop Ranch that is three months old and the lid is bulging. It's yellowing. It's bulging from fermentation. Oh my God, I can't wait to get Wingstop tonight. I only had it for like one time the past three weeks and I got it when I was in Miami and they gave me the wrong order and I didn't even throw a fuss about it because my family got to have it and I was like, yeah, this is the best night ever. It actually was such a cute night.

- Me and my two younger siblings. - Was it a cute night?

I'm trying to-- I'm doing this thing, I'm practicing backing up on the, like, specific jokes I make. You really did bite your tongue, you really did. And I did a good job. But it was so cute, I played-- my siblings are finally at that teenage age where they're, like, back to being a little normal and, like, nice, like-- And not too, too cool, they're still too cool. Yeah, they're still too cool but they still look at me and they're like, "Oh, I love my sister." But...

When your siblings, if you have, like, a large age gap between your siblings and you're not at this point yet, just brace yourself. 13 to 15, they become monsters. Evil. They become evil, dark-sided. There's something in the water. And then it just really makes you think about who you were when you were that age. And it's really scary to think about. And it's like, oh, my God, I'm going to give you grace because, like, this is just what your brain is literally, like,

you might as well be doing meth right now with the way your brain is like developing and God bless that but now my siblings are back to normal and we played this game and it was cracking me up it's this board game where it's like unsolved mysteries and my little sister has played it before I bought it for her once for her and her friend and I wish I was recording her because she was cracking me up she got this one about like aliens and space that we were doing because it's like a like unsolved crime and you have to like look through all this stuff read all

this shit read way too much to fucking solve it and at first i was impressed because i was like damn i can't believe she picked this game it's like a like a really like intellect like academic forward game to pick and she kept being like uh-uh this shit is way too hard last time it was just these two girls went missing and i knew who the fuck did it because it was easy as fuck i don't give a fuck about space this shit is bunk and we all just ended up cheating we sat there for like an hour like

No, yeah, no. And read this part. But like all of us just were ignoring each other and not helping each other. And it was funny as fuck because she just kept being like, bro, this shit is too fucking hard. This is not a fun fucking game. We should take it back. Like this shit sucks. And it was really fun. Yeah. Love my family. My nephew that is hitting the age where they're too cool. I mean, literally growing up, I literally actually had the...

The nickname DTC drew too cool because I became too cool around like age 11, 12, 13. So everyone called me DTC for like four years. Still to this day, I get called DTC. That's actually such an awesome like... It was pretty advanced, pretty fucking advanced. But it also...

ruined me. It like literally was psychological torture and warfare because you were actively too self-aware of yourself and your actions as a child. Yes, exactly. I was like, I literally attribute a lot of that for like the way I perceive myself now, which that's a whole fucking conversation that I want to talk about. Girl,

When I'm walking through the airport, I am literally, I'm not joking, I am the hottest person that exists on this fucking planet. I look in the mirror and I'm like, bitch, I am eating all of y'all up. You're all flops around me. Don't even fucking come up to me. Don't address me. Don't talk to me. I am too sexy, hot, and above you. But then...

I'm on those goddamn Zoom episodes and I'm the ugliest motherfucker I've ever seen. I really have no concept of what I. Well, OK, the thing is, we weren't meant to have mirrors. We were meant to like over a pond and like see our reflection all jaded and like rippled. And we weren't meant to look at ourselves like that. I was rewatching nipple. I was rewatching Portrait of a Lady on Fire because I fucking hate myself. And at one point, one of the girls in the movie is like,

in the movie moves a sheet and looks in the mirror and she like looks a little jarred for a second and at first my dumb ass was like yeah it's because they weren't supposed to have mirrors but it's literally because she saw something behind her and then i thought i was on when i was like no it's literally because like to have a mirror is so crazy like uh in parasite with like the lines they start crossing the lines of symmetry of the movie you thought you were unlocking some like crazy bro i know that there are some people who literally like are obsessed

with going to the union so they could be the first one to be like, did you notice this? Like, that's their fucking job on this planet is to get on six-hour and be like, five things you didn't notice when watching, like, Spider-Man across the Spider-Man. And I eat it up every time and I'm pissed at myself I didn't notice it. Every time. I lie to myself and I'm like, I knew that shit. I fucking knew that already. Like, you're not even teaching me anything. Girl, I need rehab for my fucking phone. Literally locked me up, put me in jail. It's because you were back in Texas because in Miami...

Bitch, my phone was getting the work like she was ran through. No, she was a ram fucking through. My phone's back hurts because I was like getting back shots crazy. I was rubbing my phone's fucking clitoris all fucking day. You know this button on the iPhone pros where like it's like the mute or camera button or whatever. Like, bitch, I was pressing the fuck out of that, like making her squirt and shit.

Wait, can you do it so that when you make a phone squirt? Yeah. No, that's not my question. No. Can you do it so that you set it up so that you can do a voice recording with that button? Yeah. And does it notify anyone that you're recording? That's scary. And I feel like that's that should be illegal. Well, no, absolutely.

I recorded people all the time, but there, there is legality. Like different states have different laws about recording somebody against their consent, but everybody I've ever recorded without telling them, I tell them after and they're okay with it. And they're actually very happy. You might find they laugh about it. Like, girl, what are we going to do with these fucking recordings? Like post them on Instagram. Like, no, I don't want,

literally for memory. I just want them for when I'm old because I'm also convinced that I'm going to have bad memory when I'm older and I'm terrified of like forgetting conversations even though I'm somebody who forgets nothing and I rehash everything 18 million times over. So for me to forget something would be actually crazy because you cannot have a conversation with me without me walking away and rehashing the whole thing word by word in my head. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Right. Well, Spotify has comments now. Go leave a comment on Spotify. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Can y'all like go and call us hot on Spotify? Please. No on podcasts. Which makes sense because a lot of their content, like a lot of their podcasts that are just for them. I'm shocked that they never had comments because you could only watch certain podcasts on there, especially video wise. And it's like such a big community builder. So it's like such a fucking vibe.

Um, well, I was watching this girl's video on YouTube. And at the end of it, she like says, wait, I need to I wrote down what she said, because it actually took me back. I was like, whoa, like, wait, I said, I was watching this YouTube video on this. And this girl at the end of her video was like, thank you so much for spending that time with me. It was so cherished by me. And I appreciate it more than you will ever know. Thank you for watching. No, literally me. And then I was like, okay, like I got taken back. I was like,

Okay, why are you calling me out? Like, you're trying to call me ungrateful for everybody who watches me because I've literally never said anything like that. And it literally made me insecure because I was like, oh my God, I am just such a fucking, like, piece of shit. Like,

narcissist that I just want attention and I expect it like I literally I genuinely I was talking to somebody about this yesterday too I'm very grateful but nobody talks about what it's like growing up on the internet especially like my standards specifically when it comes to romantic relationships my standards for attention are so fucking high because I can post a picture of myself and literally like at least 50 people will call me like sexy beautiful and like literally want to just like

tell me that I'm gorgeous. So now when I am like with someone romantically, if I send them a picture and they don't reply, like it's an IG comment thread, I'm like, wow. They're over. Okay, wow. Like you literally hate me. They're fried. But I'm just an attention whore. But I am very grateful for all the views and people who care about us. But like her saying that, I was like, to say like, I cherish this time with you. I was like, whoa, like that.

That's real. I was like, I literally closed my laptop and I got on TikTok after that because I was like, that was a lot. I got to shut my brain down. I got to turn it off. I downloaded this app that actually bricks your apps. So I put it's so fucking embarrassing. I started it last night and I put 15 minute limit five or hold on. I put

I put a 15 minute limit on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube and I can only access them five times a day. And then there's a 10 second buffer from when I click the app and click unlock between me actually being able to use it so I can like actually think and I'm like, OK, do I actually want to wait for this? Do I want to use this app? Girl, look how many fucking times I've used TikTok already today.

13 out of 15. What is 13? Wait, what time did you wake up? Is that why? I woke up at like 7.30 on accident. But I actually, this morning, I read 20 pages of my book. And then I fell back asleep till 9.30, which was so fire. I forgot everything I read though. And then I opened my phone. But the thing is, is once you click unlock, it like makes it so...

there's a 15 minute timer it's not like me actively using tiktok for 15 minutes straight yeah like after 15 minutes of time pass not 15 minutes of like tiktok use so i'm not actually on there for fucking 15 but i do use it a lot like i oh my god it's so fucking bad i literally looked at like my screen time in texas and i was averaging four hours and 30 minutes on tiktok alone wait i need to look at my screen on tiktok alone i know it's bad

Like, girl, what am I doing on there? And, like, I fall asleep scrolling to it. I'm like, literally, what? Like, what? Like, I'll, like, scroll through it and then I'll have to, like, like, I'll fall asleep with my fucking finger on the screen and I'm like, girl, what? But...

Five of those hours was on TikTok. Four of them was on YouTube. At least I'm getting YouTube in there. When I'm gooped. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. See, but like when I was in France, I wasn't on my phone at all. Oh my God. Wow. Yeah. My average last week was nine hours and 30 minutes. Guys, my average this week is only an hour. What? What?

You're so talented. Okay, this can't be right because it's saying on Monday I only use my phone for an hour and 30 minutes and I can say with my chest that that's simply not true. It's literally a lie. It's saying on Sunday I only use my phone for an hour. The cake is a lie. The cake is literally a lie. The girls that know, know.

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Well, out to you every now and then I remember that I do not know how to do the Heimlich maneuver and it really freaks me out. Like, I'm not kidding when people start to like, even lightly. You just get back shots, right? I get just give the person choking. Basically do. Yeah, I think I know you go right underneath the diaphragm. You go fucking lace and pipe consensually. Obviously. Obviously. Yeah.

anyways um yeah it really freaks me out and then i'm like please don't choke around me because i like will not be able to save your life and you will be dying in my presence i have saved seven women's lives it was eight eight women's life oh yeah it was eight including me yeah it wasn't seven or it wasn't eight women it was seven women and me oh yeah i saved your life do you mean because of back shots

No, no, I was actually choking. He was actually choking. And I immediately like, again, I blacked out. If y'all actually hooked up, I don't think you would ever speak to each other again. I think we would speak to each other. And I think that we would do a podcast for years afterwards. I mean, that's what happened to us. If we did. That's what happened to us. Of course. I guess that is like everybody who has a podcast. They need to give me my fucking children back, motherfuckers. Give me my fucking kids back. How old are our kids now? Seven and eight.

Most formative years of their life. Your kids are seven and eight. I've never met them and I've never seen them and they're not around really. That's what I'm saying. They took them from me.

The fucking government took them. Oh, I didn't realize they were taken. Yeah. Well, we technically just gave them up. We were on tour. We couldn't take care of them. We had better shit to do than voluntarily take them. They couldn't give. We couldn't take care of them. You had to pursue your podcast. Yeah, I had to pursue my passion. Y'all, that Paul Volter's fucking big penis, bitch. Yup. That part. For real.

Bitch, that's basically me if I pole vaulted. No, it might be the opposite. Like it's you're so concave down there that like. Oh, my ass is too big. Yeah. It goes out the opposite. What is the opposite of penis is vagina, but in boobs, no boobs and pecs, but there's no opposite of butt.

Because we all have a butt. We all have a hunger. We actually literally do. Dude, I literally will never forget in El Coyote, like, Drew was trying to remember Hunger by Florence and the Machine. He was like, what's that one song? That bitch who's always fucking hungry? She's always eating, bro. Oh!

Well, someone named their baby after me. Actually? Yes. No. Swear to God. I have to try and find it. But this girl named her baby after me. Wait, that is so cute. I know. But don't get crazy doing that because I like having a rare name, motherfucker. They ironically named their baby after me, too. Sorry, I tried to take your shine and it just didn't work. I'm used to it. I can ignore the fuck out of you, ho.

Fucking bitch. Gouda Pop money spread, bitch. Okay, I will not be able to say her name. What do y'all know about this shit? Jetali? That's the baby's name? How is that named after you? No, I'm trying to say the mom's name. I don't know. And don't get on me because I just can't pronounce names. But she named her baby Enya. Aww. And this ring it was just us two. Don't be cocky.

And at first I was like, I wonder if she really means that. And then I was looking at all her videos and that name has been hung up on the walls forever. And she dresses the baby really cute. Like, oh, see, when I see stuff like this, I'm like, that sounds fun. But then I actually remember, like, I don't want kids. So I'll just live through y'all having kids. No, literally. My God, my mom was annoying the fuck out of me in Miami. Like every time kids got brought up, she was like, when you have kids. And I was like, listen, I literally at one point had to be like, back, back, back.

Back the fuck up. I want kids so fucking bad, y'all. I have like maternal instincts now. It's fucking scary. Like I was literally watching Luna play and we were just like hanging out and I was like, oh my God, I would literally die for this child. Like unironically, I would die for Luna. But it's also because I want to die. Actually, I'm good now. I'm like on a good one right now. Like don't fuck it up. Like I'm manifesting good vibes. Well, dude, someone made an edit of you. So that'll help. Which one? With your good vibes to like increase them.

bitch i know exactly which one it is the one of me fucking laughing can someone edit me please that one's fucked up y'all are toxic unironically mods ban them ban them from the chat mods ban that girl from this podcast i'm

Imagine we started doing that when someone made a joke about low-key artists. We were like, find them. Find them. Behead them. Behead them. What is that audio? It's like that's like cut to throat. Girl, I was watching Game of fucking Thrones and it's Cersei Lannister saying it. And when it came on, I was like, wait, oh my God, this is the audio. I'm rewatching Game of Thrones. I watched House of Dragons. The last fucking episode pissed me off. Like the last fucking season of Game of Thrones. Like don't fucking play with me.

Fuck them. Fuck the show writers. Fuck them for losing budget. Like, I literally hope y'all die because y'all built this fucking whole show up

to the last episode you took two episodes away from us no this is serious this is real people are agreeing with me like i'm basically no this season sucked fucking presidential campaign it was good like the first four episodes were like good but first four were all right but all right is yeah all right it costs 80 million dollars to make that show and it's just crackers talking it's so annoying that's it it doesn't have to cost 80 so fucking annoying and i'm like y'all built this entire season up to not have one fucking battle scene like girl like

Y'all are never going to get me to watch that funky fucking show.

Like, fuck that show. You should. I'm not gonna. No, Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones. I'm not gonna. Girl, you said that about Sex and the City and you loved it. Same with Sopranos. Yeah, Sex and the City. It's about girls having fun being crazy kooky. Sopranos, it's about dysfunctional family being crazy funny kooky. Breaking Bad, crazy family, awful dad. Yeah, I'm watching that. Game of Thrones, dragons, bitch, don't play with me. That's got nothing to do with me. It's like fucking like Targaryen bloodlines, like incest, like...

and shit. It's honestly good. So it sounds like it's being made for a very specific because incest and stuff. So it's a very specific. Yeah, me and you. Don't we don't have to bring that back up. Girl. Also, apparently we're second cousins. It doesn't count. Apparently we're fucking someone. I prank called someone at 3 a.m. You're so annoying. I can't get on TikTok. Do you have it? So

I called you a little bastard. Why? Drew! Sorry, y'all. That's right. I said it. What are you going to do about it? Drew! Gagged. You can't say those things. Drew, you can't say those things. Where's Enya at? Girl, fuck her. You guys have to think hard about it. Drew, I can say whatever I want. What are you going to do? Drew, where is Enya at? Period. Hey, pick me up, bro. You don't know Enya.

That's right. I don't know Enya. Punk? Have you ever said punk? Yeah. So what?

Very scary. The thing is, what's crazy is this is how we talk to each other now. Like, this is when we're beefing what we sound like. Like, when we're, like, silent in each other's cars, this is, like, the conversation. Yeah, this is exactly it. Like, punk, punk. Yeah, the edits this week have been good because there's also this one. You saw this one, right? Oh, I saw that one, yeah. Oh, my God, I miss Josiah so much. He's coming over tonight. Yay!

It's been a month. It's been a month. It's been more than a month for me because I haven't seen him since before I started doing my world tour. Oh, also, he didn't come over. And I stayed extra days to hang out with him and Josh and fucking...

Josiah didn't come which is heart been broke so many times I don't know who to fucking believe and then he didn't text me for like literally three weeks yeah but then he texted us in our group chat and said I miss you guys and then we didn't reply for like three days yeah because I don't play that shit if you don't text me back I'm not texting you back I'm dead fucking sick look at this shit this is bullshit I'm out I'm the worst texter ever so I can't

This is low-key what our texts look like sometimes. I know, but it's like both of us. But because we reply to each other's texts in person. Like, that's what I realized. We, like, see each other and then we're like, blah, blah, blah. Also, like, I only am a good texter when I'm in, like, a weirdly manic state. Then I will text, I will

talk like when we were texting, I was like fully on a crazy one. Me and him texted for like six hours yesterday. It's literally because I was manic because I have been so anxious talking to the psychiatrist this week about it. Don't fret. But I have been so anxious the past like six months and it's only getting worse and worse and worse. And yesterday I like I always have this feeling like I'm always thinking about my death and when I'm going to die. And like that's

all that like occupies my mind. But specifically when I'm taking off on flights, it's like all like... No, no, I'm genuinely trying to help you because it's like opened up. Oh, because you can see my... Yeah. Dude, you lying is crazy. Yes, lady. But all I think about when I take off on planes is like...

my life being over but then yesterday i was thinking about it i was like i wonder like i i know people are scared of dying like yadoy but i was trying to get down to the bottom of why i'm dying okay but don't wait that's my catchphrase but don't get doink when i say like a zinger like oh pole vulture's penis but don't get doink bitch no one commented on my fucking gouda pop spread but don't get doink hey

It wouldn't be back home if we didn't have issues. Unless Kai didn't fuck up his goddamn job. I didn't fuck it up. I didn't fuck it up. That actually, again, was something that happened and it was not my fault. Ironically, it wasn't his fault. It was not his fault. Also, by the way, just to paint the picture for what it's like to be in this room for listeners...

It's 120 degrees. No, it's actually... It is actually 83 degrees in here. Like, unironically, it is so hot. My back is sticking to this chair. I am dripping sweat. Um...

Yeah. Yeah, I have to hear Drew Nenya over the sound of the gas leaking from the... Yeah, we have a constant, consistent propane natural gas leak coming out of our stove. I mean, but this is what it's really all about. It's all about perspective. No, y'all, unironically, I've been fucking putting a lot of perspective into my thoughts. Like, perspective is literally key. Whoa. Perspective is key. Okay. Perspective is a key key.

Perspective is key to unlocking your true potential of gratitude and peacefulness, happiness. You and my dad would like the same Facebook content because something you saying that reminded me of like he is obsessed with this guy who goes up to people in public and acts like he's about to say something profound. And every time the people are like, oh, and like walk away from him. But one of the videos you showed me was like it was this like Spanish creator post.

And he was like, he goes up to these guys and he's like, the key to opening doors in your life, it only takes two words. And they both stopped and they were listening. He was like, push and pull. And both of them went and like walked away from him. And I'm like, I can see you ending up doing that, like going up to people and saying those kind of things. 100%. Well, I did something that.

Specifically for my friends and my friends only. And I worked on it for literally hours and hours and hours. And I got paid dust in the fucking group chat. Are you talking about the songs? I'm talking about the song covers. And I'm just going to play a few. Well, to be fair, I was at a very sweet dinner with my dad and sister. So I wasn't on my phone. Y'all, I recorded a tin can.

song long cover album um over the span of from 9 p.m or no it was 11 p.m to 1 a.m so how long is that three hours two hours um but just to give y'all a little taste of what i was cooking up hold on which one should i do i'll just do it like with this vibrations i love everybody i love everything

Life is all about perspective. Let's have a little superfactive together, y'all. Let's do it. You ready? One, one, two, three, four, let's go. If you, if you could return, don't let it burn. Don't let it fade. Sure I might be wrong. How are you reading? How are you reading the lyrics and you're still fumbling over them?

this is the best one this one I was like okay like this is so

It is sweet. You picked songs. Everyone in the group chat, all of us have memories with each other with. This one is so good. And, like, bitch, I was, like, when I was sending these in, I was, like, oh, my God. Like, imagine I die and, like, this is what I leave behind. Like, they're gonna... That's what we're gonna play at your funeral instead of your playlist. Yeah, like, this is magical. Okay, hell no. There's a world where I can go and... Oh, wow.

Guys, let me know if I should release these on YouTube. I'd love a random throwaway YouTube account with all your covers. Can we do that? Can we make an account where we just start putting on... Like, yeah, we're gonna make a random account and just start putting this shit. We should make music with Josie tonight. Yeah.

I have a lot to say. Literally, we have a lot to speak of. Oh, wait, I didn't finish my anxiety thing. Basically, I'm crazy. Okay. This one's the worst one, y'all. This was like literally making me cry when I'm singing it. I love this song. I love this song.

Do you know that? I don't know that song. I'll show it to you real quick. I can't find it. I'll show you after. Hurty Girty Man. I was going to say two things. One...

I'm tired of the Mount Everest shit. Cut it. It's not worth it. It's tried. It's boring. You're not special. You just want to be like, to drinks with your friends and being like, Oh, what did you do this past weekend? Oh my god, I just finished climbing Mount Everest. Like, okay, I'm so tired of doing shit just to be annoying and brag about it. Like you're so annoying. I don't care. Literally, I think if somebody told me like if somebody in real life is like I climbed Mount Everest,

I would not be impressed. I'd be like, you were extremely bored. You must relocate and like find a real purpose because that is crazy. Also, it's not even deadly anymore. It's like, girl, like I could go up there and do it myself without any training. Like, bitch, try K2. Try smoking K2. Ha ha ha!

Then I, then we'll have a real conversation. Oh my God. I remember when I first moved to LA and I was like in my little stoner era. K2 is also a mountain that I think is actually deadly. That might've been like such an advanced joke. When you first said it, I thought you were really talking about an actual mountain. Um,

but when I first moved to LA, I was so fearful because I wasn't of age yet. So I had to buy like my weed illegally, illegally, legally. And I, for some reason, I never had this fear in Miami, but here I was convinced somebody was going to sell me K2. So I didn't smoke for like three years because I was convinced that I was going to act

by K2 and I would look up videos of people on K2 and it would freak me out. Jumping out the window. The one where it's like the camera and it's the couch and the window's behind and they jump out of the fucking window. Like that shit spooked me. Also the kid who was like, I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed, I'm just paralyzed.

He was just greening out, I think. Like, I think he was just bitch made. Like, he couldn't handle the fucking. The thing is, all of my green outs for the most part, other than my one really bad green out with my brother and everybody. Like, no, even the one I had with you, that was mild for me. Like, because I was like, we were around a bunch of people and I got up and I removed myself. And then you followed me and I told you what was happening to me. But other than that, like, all of them have been relatively silent for me. Like, my green outs,

Post that have been isolated to like one person being around me, because even in a green out, I've been so shameful of the fact that I'm greening out. But yeah, I don't think I've ever seen any green out. Have you?

No, because you just disappear into your room. Yeah, I just like cry myself to sleep. Yeah, you go to your room and you freak out. I've seen you have like a panic attack. Like I've seen you have panic attacks, but not like weed induced. I've just seen you have panic attacks. I've had to rub your belly. What was it about? I don't remember. I remember it was in your room and you texted me something because people were over and you went to the room and you were like, I'm literally having a panic attack. And then I had to go and sit in bed with you and like rub your belly.

Fuck, I can't remember what it was about. I had to rub his penis. I think it was about Sam. Yeah, she rubbed me off. The back of my penis, hello. Kai knows the back of my penis like the palm of his hand. Yeah. Okay, well, the other thing I don't understand is why the fuck did they give us those big ass sharpeners in class? Like the ones that made the most noise ever? Like, I was watching a video that those sharpeners have been around since like 1827. Yeah.

But when you were in school, there was already the normal ones. Like we didn't have to do that. Like the fucking yield. Like y'all don't know what it's like to turn your pencil. Like no one will ever know. Half the people listening to this, I don't even think had to experience getting up in the middle of class. And you were either one of two types of kids. You either were extremely embarrassed to go and sharpen your pencil or you were like me and you were an attention whore from a very young age and you lived for the moment. You would break your pencils on purpose.

purpose so you had a reason to go and sharpen that fucking pencil so everybody would look at you. To show off your like wardrobe what is it your uniform that everybody had to wear but you got to accessorize it with a coat that no one gets to talk about. You got to accessorize it with a coat it's like okay. Well going back to House of Dragons I promise it's worth it.

kai since you watched do you know varies i i only watched half of the last episode technically but the varies the dude with the cane yeah almost around someone fucking emailed me and said that we are uncanny the verbiage uncanny that we look like twins bitch oh my fucking god it doesn't i don't think it looks like him wait

It's crazy who Drew gets compared to. It's because of his hair. And then every now and then when people realize the size of my forehead, I get called Lily Rose Depp. No. They're toxic. Dude, it doesn't look like you. That does not look like you. And they sent this fucking screenshot.

Oh. No. Oh, that's fucked up. It's toxic. Also, like, it's fucked up for us to look at a picture of another human being and be like, that's fucked up to say you look like that. That's literally my favorite thing is, like, when you really think about how the people you know look in your dreams and they kind of don't look like that. Like, does that make sense? Like, that's if my brain was trying to remember how you looked like in my dreams. Yeah, no, literally. Wait, did it? I think it said, like, like a robot. Pfft.

Yeah, I could see. That does not look like you. Literally sick. Like, bitch, fuck y'all. Also, I think this week I'm going to go and buy a bunch of bars of soap and start making the soap. The soap. The soap.

Crunching content. Oh, with the foam. With the foam because I really want to do that. But I was watching this video of this girl put a bunch of soaps into like a pond-like amount of water in her sink and letting it sit there and then playing with it. And squidging it. This is pushing it. Like, first of all, all of the soaps looked used.

Like none of them were brand new. All of them looked used to the same thinness. And I was like, is there a world where she's really just sitting in her kitchen and washing her hands for like 30 minutes to get all these soaps this thin? And then my other thought was I just gaffed all over myself because I really want to crunch soap.

Also, to clarify, I keep saying gaff. I don't know why, but it's literally just giving a fuck. So I gave a fuck all over my face. Yeah, I just can't stop gaffing. I just can't stop gaffing. I think it's because I kept texting people like, I don't give a fuck, like I de-gaff. And then I was like, I need to stop saying I don't give a fuck. Because really, at the end of the day, I gaff. And I gaff hard. Is gaffing a real word? That's the people that hold the...

mics they're gaffers and then gaffing to be gaff is like a wait but gaff is an actual verb i forget that the english language is like actually very broad and i shouldn't just be saying things because gaffing actually mean the whales are gaffed spirit or knife to death so it's like stabbing people i just can't stop stabbing people i was stabbing today

stabbing today well I went into Brandy Melville and none of the clothes fit yet I literally bitch you fucked up my joke because all of the clothes literally slipped off my body like they were so big on me even the smallest size actually I took my teenage sister to Brandy Melville and she verbatim goes all of these clothes are too big and I was like

Wow. Okay. I'm going to be nice. I'm going to be nice. What is it? You know what my workout routine has been? Because I feel like now that people know I'm not on Ozempic, they're going to be like, oh, what are you doing? I've just been doing those white lady classes, the exercise classes. Hitting those exercise balls with the drumsticks. Where they do everything but fucking workout. Dude, I found a new one, Drew. Look at this. They call it like 10 reps of hip hip hoorays. Hoorays.

Wait, this song actually is. Um, looks maxing and pheromone maxing. Why do we pit two people against each other? We're both God's precious creatures maxing anyways. Okay. Okay.

Ew, drew the sound. I fear I have nothing else to say. Oh, I got some shit to say. I got some shit to say. And I really have to poop. I can't lie. Y'all, I... So typically when I come back to Texas, right before I come back, I just shave my beard off because I'm like, it's disgusting. I want it off my face. But I was like...

the fuck out one night and I was like, I don't know why I did this to myself, but I was like, I want to see what would happen if I dyed my beard darker. Like I wanted to see. Did you do it? I did it. Bitch, I dyed the entire bottom half of my face fucking brown so I can't shave my goddamn beard until it comes out. But I think it's mostly out now. I think it's gone.

Girl, I recorded the whole thing. I think that's what people low-key do. It's like guys with thinning beards will do that so that their beard looks more full. I recorded the whole thing. We gotta take Drew swimming on the first date. Wait, hold on. Oh, Drew, you gave yourself a lineup. I know, bitch. I literally had like a proper fucking line. Ha ha!

This was, I think, like, pre-wash, but, like, it's pretty much that. No, it doesn't look like that anymore. No, no, not close. I, like, I made, like, a concoction of, like...

olive oil and isopropyl alcohol and I grabbed like my mom's like grainy fucking exfoliator I completely damaged my skin barrier on this half of my face it's ruined for months if not years but I just scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until it like came out of the closet well I was talking to my dad because for some reason I had this idea that my dad was somebody who never got high and he spent his 20s high as fuck like when he first moved to the US we both have gay dads yeah

He said he would go to concerts and he was like the kind of person that if somebody handed him a blunt, he would just fucking smoke it. He didn't give a fuck. He was laced 200 times. He was literally, he was talking about how he was so high one time that he had to like crawl up to his apartment because he was scared of falling down the stairs. Been there, except I took... Oh wait, my mom's calling me. I took Trazodone and Lunesta and fainted 10 times. Oh, Psyop. It's Drew Psyop.

It's true sigh up corner Drew sigh up. It's true sigh up. It just sounds like you're saying you're calling yourself Drew Sia Bitch if you need three to four edibles to get high stop wasting your money. You're ready for cocaine Bitches be like I'm a Scorpio bitch. I don't give a fuck if you got scoliosis lick my balls Whooping kids nowadays don't work. Oh

You gotta pepper spray those little motherfuckers. That's literally how I feel with my siblings. I heard the government was putting chips inside of people. I hope I get hot Cheetos. Ladies, don't let a man who drinks boba tea raise his voice at you. You talk to him woman to woman. That's good. Dude, this mic has been like slowly descending into hell this whole episode. Hanging out with Orion and Inya is like going to therapy where no one gets better.

No, Orion and me genuinely, I mean, she posted a TikTok once because all we do is go like exactly in our text. And we've done that before. That was a meme. And that's all we say to each other. We're always saying exactly. No, exactly. Whoever made those footlong Subway cookie mukbangs with the bowl of ice milk need their pussy ate for 32 hours straight. That would be painful. Also, I just need to shout out Preston.

been carrying Preston sends me like at least eight a week and I use at least one of them that makes me so happy because I would like to assume that that person just sits in their bed high as fuck and screenshots shit knowing that they're gonna send it I think that's literally the fucking vibe and I don't know if it's Preston the TikTok user that also sends me emails for Drew Siop I don't know also uh Emily Fulmer sent one um

But I'll do one freaking more. Lick her C-section scar and say, I love you, my little Ziploc baggie. That one's kind of gnarly, huh? No, nothing will ever be more gnarly than the cemetery. Oh, bitch. The haunted pussy. Bitches with STDs calling themselves a snack. Okay, 7 million pounds of boar head meat that was recalled for Listeria.

Dude, I actually have been so scared of Listeria. Okay. Food poisoning. Shout out Ashton. And those were my gay little psyops for this week. Well, this is my media of the week. I rewatched Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Whatever, man.

And I'm still listening to Tin Man by America. And honestly, the only song I want to shout out is Can't Do A Thing by Chris Isaac. Oh, and actually, I've been listening to so much Chapel Roan. Like, it's actually diabolical. And now Chapel Roan reminds me of my sister and my dad. Because in Miami, every time we got in the car, I would just play it and...

My dad likes chapel. He was like, this is good. He was like, this reminds me when music was so fun. And then my dad was just talking to me about like all the music he really liked. And it was really sweet. So I was like, damn, I wonder if like, because I know there are some people who actually don't like give a fuck at all about music. Like there are people like that in the world who I think are the killers. But yeah,

I've convinced myself that it is genetic to like the same music as your parents because all the music my dad grew up listening to is the music I love. But also, but he didn't play it when I was growing up, but whatever. This is my media. You ready? People I know, places I go, make me feel tongue-tied.

I can see how people look down there on the inside. Here's where the story ends. And then this one. Driving on a... You could be a shadow. Okay. We should just redo these with me doing the backtracking vocals and see if we can make them sound really good. Actually make them sound good. Driving on a...

But what people don't realize is at the end of every song... Hold on. Wait, what is this? Fuck. Fuck, dude, I'm so bad at singing. Wait, this is a good part, this is a good part.

that's a good media honestly yeah i feel like that's pretty advanced like it's their songs i like and unfortunately i was singing them all right well thank you guys

So much for watching. Thanks for sticking with us through this funky transition. Back in the fucking kitchen, baby. Some of y'all got what you fucking wanted. Bitch, I saw we need to get them back in the fucking kitchen. I saw that, bitch. Y'all said y'all didn't even like the set in the first place. I know. Fake as fuck. But look, we're back. He designed that set. So cool.

down like we just got in that chill chill chill chill chill yeah thanks for sticking by us peace and love and unity and respect um you're amazeballs