C02 - Ep. 49 - Finale in Faunaloch - Messy, Confessy, Blessy And Nessie
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This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or maybe therapy day.

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Kindest regards, all you rat-a-tosks. Skitter on into the stinky dragon. Partake in our latest potation.

the end of the world. It's a mixture of pistachio milk messages, a corn gore coffee, cedar gestron syrup, and fused with a few furry fibs. One pour of this planar percolation, all those charges of cheating will change to chitter chatter. Previously, our adventurers arrived at Awning Amphitheater with ingredients for the alchemist, but they were offered a

different deal from a dastardly Hugo, Evina, and Eddie. After fighting amidst a frightfully falling forest, Hugo and Eddie fell into lethal lockwood and emerged changed forever. Grab a guzzler, let's get back to this gassy goss.

That was me this morning. Change of vowel in there. Hello, everyone. I'm Gustavo Sorolla, the dungeon master of our putrid party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Maybe I won't hit you with an arrow. This week's role-playing warm-up question is, can you tell us about a time where you got into trouble as a kid? Oh, that's a good one. Could you specify

specified, kid. Whatever you consider, kid. I know the answer might be a little complicated for some members of the party. Well, I'll start. The kiddest of the kid of the group. I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I play Elga Von Brass, the half-elf vampire barbarian. And Elga, you know, she was always getting into trouble as a kid, as current kid, previous kid. 200 years. 200-year-old kid. But there was one time where I woke up

Oh.

Rebel. And then I left my room and the whole time I was holding my breath and then all of a sudden I see my papa pass by my room and then he look at me and then he send me to my room to make my bed and then keep me in there. But funny enough, my room is my favorite place to be so jokes on him.

when the punishment's actually a secret reward. That happened to me all the time as a kid. My parents were like, go to your room. And I'm like, with pleasure. Micah suggests that you refer to Hugo as your faux pas.

Faux pas. That's really good. Okay. That's really good. Yeah. It's a level. It took you a second. It did. I'm slow. Hi. It's me, Blaine Gibson, and I play Chip Haney, level nine, tiefling rogue. And if you guys will allow me, I'd like to tell you the story about Bradley and the missing piggy bank. Is that okay? Was that a Harry Potter book? No.

No, no, no. It's the story of my youth, okay? Bradley Cooper? No, it's about a time that I got in trouble. So I set this scene. I was in the fourth grade, and I remember it was show and tell day at the elementary school. So I brought my piggy bank. I was so proud of that piggy bank. I remember taking it to school, and every step I'd hear, ch-ch-ch.

All that change in that piggy bank. And I get there, go at the show and tell, oh, so impressed. Everyone was so impressed. And then we all go out to recess, okay? And when I got back from recess, well, my piggy bank's missing from my cubby. Uh-oh. And I look around, and I didn't make a fuss, but I noticed that Bradley, every time he took a step with his big old backpack, I heard that familiar sound, that shh, shh, shh.

So I did what any normal nine-year-old, you know, tiefling rogue would do. And I followed him all the way to his home. And then I sat up in a tree outside of Bradley's room and I watched him as he ate dinner, did his homework, read his books. And then eventually towards the end of the night, I'd been sitting there for about seven hours. He pulled out my piggy bank and then he went to bed. So I waited for another three more hours watching him sleep until he was in the deepest state of slumber. So

So then I made my move. I took off my shoes. I took off my socks. I snuck in through his window very carefully, very quietly. And I went up and individually started taking each coin out of the piggy bank and into my socks. Okay. That must have taken a while. It took a very long time, Mr. Dungeon Mister. Why didn't you just take the piggy bank? Oh, well, I'll let me get there. So I got all these tube socks filled with coins.

And I just started beating Bradley. I just started beating him. And he started crying and yelling. And there was tears and blood and snot. And, you know, just the familiar. And then I got home. And I got in trouble with my mama because I was in past curfew. You know, I've never been more afraid of Chip than in this very moment. Bradley didn't go to school the next day. And he, his family moved out, you know.

What's amazing to me is that even I like how driven Chip is, but even at nine years old, he knew he was a tiefling rogue. I was going to say, what age do you become a rogue? He's a negative one tiefling rogue. Most children don't figure that out until most people don't figure that out until they're well into adulthood. But you had to figure it out from nine. Oh, yeah. What is happening on that video now?

The mood is destroyed. We have a little kind of video in the background playing to get us in the Fonolok mood today. And there was a little dog that popped up that said, please like and subscribe.

The whole time you were telling that story, Blaine, I just thought the funniest thing that could happen after you finish that story is if David goes, I wasn't recording. My monologue is not. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll remember it to narrate it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bonjour, my name is John Reisinger. I play Matty Confucius, the Eric Cochran ghost monk. And I got into the usual antics as any little child when you're young. You know, you steal a cookie from the cookie jar. You know, you stay up past your bedtime. But I do remember this one time that my mother was quite...

across with me. You see, I got an idea that I wanted to redecorate my room and I didn't want to do it with just anything. So I went to the local museum and I stole all of the priceless art. Wow. Were you a rogue as well? Did you multi-class? Were you a ghost yet? No, no, no. I was just a precocious little six-year-old.

Was it the Mona Lisa? That's pretty good. I like Moan. I can see your brain just trying to rattle off more. Or the Van Gogh. There you go. I think we've done this joke before. We're trying to do spooky artists. I was going to say the Starry Night, but that's just appropriately named. Or the Scream. Yeah, the Scream.

Hi, I'm Chris Damaris. Hi, Chris Damaris. And I'm... It's a very kids' show. Hi, Chris Damaris. And I play Barney Farney, the human cleric. When I was a younger boy, I was a bit of a rapscallion. Really? We, on the farm, we had...

some animals and I was eating my breakfast one morning and then I asked my mom where the eggs came from and she said they came from the chickens and I asked her, where does the bread come from? She says, that comes from the wheat from the field. That's so bad for your mom. And then I asked her, where does the bacon come from? And then she said, well, that comes from pigs. And I said, pigs like Nedley? Yeah.

And she goes, "Why, yes." And then I realized Nedley, the pig, he might one day become bacon. And then, so then whenever, so then I took Nedley secretly and I took him to my bedroom. - Oh. - And I kept him in the closet. And then I dressed him up. - Oh my God. - And then I told my mom-- - Is this an ET moment? - And I told my mom that I made a new friend.

And does she believe you? What did you tell her that your new friend's name was? Pedley. Pedley. Wow. Okay. And failed his deception check on that one. And she did not believe me. She realized that Pedley was in fact Nedley. Oh, no. And did you have more bacon the next morning? No. We stopped eating bacon after that. It was all ham. Oh.

That's one way to do it. If your room was messy, she might not have noticed you since the pigs die anyway, right? I try. We have fun here. I like that Barney has maintained this desire to keep animals that he shouldn't be keeping and that has maintained over the course of his entire life. He's just hoarding animals against all the odds and everyone's wishes. Barney's at least consistent.

With that, the alchemist finishes brewing his potion, draws from the draught and stiffly holds out a glass vial, dripping with golden fluid. With lightning speed, Hugo flies in and snatches the elixir from his hands and quaffs the concoction without hesitation. The alchemist's eyes turn back to Hazel, albeit horror-stricken. Hugo smiles wide for a moment, but it quickly fades and he starts retching violently, hurling sallow slop onto the floor.

You worthless peddler of potions! You'll pay for your impotence! Hugo heads straight for the alchemist, his fangs and claws extended, ready to rip through the man's throat. But at the last moment, a skinless figure steps between them. Hugo's claws plunge deep into Eddie's sinewy chest, and green blood spews from his burnt veins. Eddie cries out in agony and falls to his knees. Out of my way, you cursed lunatic! Oh, but where's the fun in that? Hey, Hugo? Hey!

Your usefulness has run its course, Edward! Hugo lunges Fang first into his sinewy neck and Eddie wraps both his hulking arms around the vampire like a constricting snake. Eddie laughs maniacally one last time and pulls Hugo with him into the blue viscous locker. Not but a moment later, a vampiric visage emerges, drenched in the sapphire slime. Hugo shrieks as his skin boils and curls into a disfigured abomination. Ah!

One way or another, this ends now. Two sinewy wings rip off on his back and a hideous Hugo flies off to the east. The alchemist stumbles to the ground. He shakes his head with furrowed brows. I don't understand. The elixir was ready, so why didn't it... Where am I? D-

Dad? A boy with olive complexion, rosy cheeks, dressed in torn rags steps out from the lockwood. What? Henry? What? Huh? Henry? Henry, you've got some explaining to do. The alchemist uproots the blue flower in front of him and the stump stage collapses back toward the ground with a splash in the lockwood. The alchemist reaches into the blue viscous liquid and pulls out his son from the cyan surf.

Both Henry and the alchemist fall prone onto the stump, and you see the alchemist's salt and pepper hair turn white, and his crow's feet crinkle into more wrinkles. So the alchemist just grew older? It would appear so. I think that's, didn't that happen to one of you guys in the Lockwood too? Uh-huh.

John? I thought it aged you a little bit, Chip. My babe? No. I mean, it could have been. Oh, no, it aged Barney a little bit more, didn't it? It did age Barney. I made you forget. Yeah. I like how Chris just shakes his head like that. I didn't notice. What's an extra 15 years? Okay, so Henry was Eddie all along.

I should have stabbed that eight-year-old back at the college. We could have saved a lot of time. We would have saved like 45 episodes. Could have saved a lot of lives. Yeah. I would run up. It's on your hands, Chip. No, I want to run up and I say, oh, this is delightful. How lovely. I wouldn't maybe run into the Lockwood, though. No, I'm not going to do that. I'll be from afar. Or...

Where are they? So I'm trying to remember where you all ended up. I believe Chip was already on the stump as well as Mateed. I might have been up in the stands above the water. Yeah, I was grappling Eddie, so I was on the stump. That's right. So Mateed was on the stump and then the other three of you were in the stands

Barney and Elga were on the western side and Chip was on the eastern side. Full disclosure, I want to confront Henry, but, you know, if I'm, like, across the stadium, it's going to be a little awkward. It's going to take some of the dramatic zest away from that confrontation. Hey! You all see Avena swoop down from the stands to the stop, dragging Sadate behind her. She looks angry and confused at the same time, looking around. Yeah, that's right. Proper emotion.

Avena has joined where the alchemist and Henry are lying on the floor. On the stage, correct. On the stage with me and she's dragging her fake mom or her real mom or mom. Sedate? Sedate, yes. I don't think it's her real mom. I don't know. Um,

I'm still very confused as to what Avena's role is with this and what her situation is. Make me a perception check, Mateed. 22. I like that you have a real die. I like the sound of it. She looks almost like, there's almost like a wild look in Avena's eyes that you didn't see that before. Whereas before, you know, you would have considered her maybe very cool and calculating. She's almost feral. Man, I don't know what to say to Avena. Like, I want to like, I don't know. Hello!

There you go. That sums it up. Let this be a family matter. I'll just step back. I mean, now that Eddie is Henry and then Hugo's gone, Evina's the only enemy that we have to go against, right? Yeah, but I want to figure out what's up with her. Yeah, since you were addressing her...

Barbara slash Elga. I don't know. I don't know what to say. Barbara or Elga. Belga. Belga, since you were addressing her, why don't you also make me a perception check? That is a 14. Evaina doesn't seem the same to you either. She seems, you know, there's a wildness to her eyes and you see, you know, Sadate is still bound and you see her desperately trying to make eye contact with you.

And you see her lock eyes with you and then look at your bag. And like looking back and forth. My bag. Your bag. Don't you have like a bag that holds a bunch of stuff? That's what Chip has. Like my bum bag? Don't you also have like a... You have one. You should have a bag for all of your stuff. Yeah. Just like my normal bag. Could I... Well, okay. Could I open my bag? Yeah. You open your bag and you know, there's...

seven axes. How many axes do you have? Four axes? Five axes? All of your axes? Four.

And, you know, all of your inventory. I like to think it's like a Swiss Army knife of axes. That's all it is. A Rolodex. Make a wisdom check for me, Elga. My strength. Nine. Nine. It's pretty unorganized. Does Elga keep an orderly bag aside from her Swiss Army knife axes? I would say absolutely not. She just shoves everything in. Just like her fedora. The pages of the...

Journal? Yeah, I kept the page that was ripped out, I think. Oh, of that, like, dark tone. The ancientvania book. The boiling soup room book. How far away is that space where they are? There was a place where we went into, and it had the boiling water. And they were talking about how you'd be cleansed or reborn, and Chip stuck his tail in, and it was, like, hot. Yeah.

And you got a page from there? A page of like... I think it looked like the ancient Vania from like the same book that was in Avena's room that had like one page teared out. That's where you found the page. Thank you. Also, there's the picture. Of potentially my mom. Yeah. Yeah, we have that too. But I mean, I think it's kind of one of those like organized chaos with Elga. Like she...

She shoves everything in, but she knows where everything is. I would like to imagine you're just pulling things out and looking at mom like this, this, this. Can I walk up to Avena? Yeah, so Mati, do you want to go up to Avena as well? Yes, I'm very curious. What role did you have to play in all of this? She looks at you and kind of like backs away. She's not really talking or addressing you.

keeping Sadate behind her. Does she look any different other than the crazy eyes? No, she looks pretty much the same. I take a step towards her.

Yeah, she keeps backing up, trying to maintain a certain amount of distance. Alright, so it's going to be like... It's like when you see a feral animal and everybody surrounds it and they had their hands up wide. We can make an animal handling check. No, no, no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Could I maybe use... I have message, which is a

I point my finger towards a creature within range and whisper a message. The target and only the target hears the message and can reply in a whisper that only I could hear. Oh, yeah. I forget that. I've had it just for a while. What's your message like? Chill, bro. Or something. I can't have it. I have to rap while I do it. Please do not do that. Could I? And I want to do it towards Sadate. Sure. And I guess the message would be like, Miss Templar,

What are you trying to tell me to look for in my bag? Also, what the heck is up with Evina? Who are you talking to? Sedate. Sedate Tempour. I

I did not memorize her last name. Man, I'm off today on remembering stuff. No, no, you're good. I've just written it down physically. So when I do that, I remember. When we, I know like during like an episode or two ago when he like got started, I was like, and Sadate's with you. I didn't say anything because I was like, well, I'll figure it out with context clues soon. But I was like, I don't know who that is. Uh,

Fake mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I figured out. If you're quiet for a while, you can just kind of listen. Yeah, you're FOMA? FOMA, yeah. You receive a reply, you know, whispered in your mind. Combine the book and the pages, then destroy them.

Well that is very good information. How do we glean that from a look? Because she can't she's also she's still Sadate's still bound. She's being dragged around by Avena and she's gagged with that red ascot. Right.

Okay, could I do exactly that? I take the book out, I put the page back where it was ripped out. Yeah, you combine the book and the page, and when you do so, the book seems to transform a bit in your hands. Are you guys seeing this?

Yes. Whereas before, you couldn't understand it. It was written in strange runes and an old language that you're not familiar with. The words reform into a language you are able to understand. What is the title of the book? The title of the book is Mind Drinker, a dampier damnification. Is that like Mind Freak? Those are some bad words used on this book.

Mind drinker? Yeah. Mind drinker, the damnification? A dampier damnification. Chris Angel wrote this book. I'll send it to you because it's strange spelling. It's like D-H-A-M-P-I-R. Yeah. Do I recognize this or like know the relevance or what it means just based off my...

many years in the vamp spire yeah is this like the bible like if you go to the vamp spire for a hotel room is it in the night table or is it like something that i've seen placed by the um you you're not familiar with it but you you know you look through it and kind of skim over it and it seems to be a tome containing lore and rituals surrounding creatures called dampieres

It's like a cursed half-breed of humanoid and vampire that feeds on dreams and psychic energy. That's Avena, then. I mean... Because we've always been wondering, is she a vampire? What is she? Yeah. She's a dampier, which is ironically what happens when I clean out my ears. I guess, could I try to destroy it? Yeah, how are you going to destroy it? I'm going to take my bat-hole axe, if it seems appropriate, and just...

spike it, like right in the middle of the book. Yeah, which axe? The battle axe. Oh, sorry. She made it up. She made it up. Chip sees this and shakes his head. Elga never did like reading. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

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And cleave the book in two. And as you do so, the book bursts into blue flame. What does Chip do?

I don't know. I'm fire resistant. No, because you're a firefighter. Oh, no! Quick, get the lockwood on that fire! And Avena seems to shake her head and seems to kind of come to her senses a little bit. We should slap her around just to make sure she's clear of the dead fairness. So is she like, does she seem to be kind of waking up from that crazed state she was in? Yeah, it seems like she's more present.

Elga? Are you... You we cool? She looks at you and then looks down and realizes, you know, she's dragging Sadate around. She begins very quickly untying Sadate. Make me a perception check, Elga. You know, I'm pretty far away. Yeah. 16. 16.

You realize that as, you know, when you were looking at Avena and she said your name, that her eyes were no longer that piercing blue color they were before. If I cast Waterwalk on Elga, could she walk on the stuff on the, what do you call the... Tell me what it's called. Yeah. You could do it. I can't do it. Blaine's mouthing it to me. I don't know what it is. He needs to remember something. Fawn, Fawn, Fawnlock. Oh, you're close. Fawnlock. Fawnlock. No, no, no.

Fond water. Fond wave. Lockwood. We could have gotten there, guys. We weren't going to get there. We were doing a, what's it called? Pantomime? Charades, thank you. I was like, sign language?

Lockwood? Lockwid. Like liquid, but lock. Oh, Lockwid. That makes sense. Okay. So, yes, because a water walk doesn't specify just water. It says it grants the ability to move across any liquid surface, such as water, acid, mud, snow, quicksand, or lava. So, yeah, you could... This water walk would allow anyone to walk across the Lockwid. That's a nice move, Barney. All right. Yeah, I cast... Water walk!

Sorry, I didn't mean to. I guess I use it to run over to Sadate and Ivana. Oh, wait. Up to 10 willing creatures I can see within range gain this ability for the duration. I cast it on everyone. Tell me what the range is. 30 feet.

I can't believe everyone within 30 feet. Which I think is just me. Just you and Elgin. You get a water walk. You get a water walk. Chip, go over here. I can't step in the walk, Quid. Just to clarify, you could go like the long way around since the stands are like a half circle around the stage. So you couldn't walk directly to them, but you could walk in a half circle around the stands and stay. To get within 30 feet? Yeah. Okay. I power walk. Really engage the glutes on that one.

No foot is left off the ground. You can just run. Power walk. I don't know if the van is going to turn bad again. Yeah, you know when you don't want to... If something is perceiving you and if you run, it's going to chase you, but if you're just walking normally, it might not notice you. That's what's happening. Yeah, you power walk over and Barney's able to water walk everyone. I'm tiefling Jesus. Oh, God.

I start walking on the water. Start breakdancing on the water. I water walk over to Sedate. Yeah, you get there as the last of Sedate's bindings are removed and she stands up. Avena, it seems like you got into some bad stuff. She looks at you with tears in her eyes and wraps her arms around you. I'm so sorry, sister. I was just so upset with Hugo.

changed myself for him. I've been through the damn ritual so he would see me as an equal, as a vampire. When did you do that? Val, you were away. Okay, I figured, yeah, because you definitely were not acting like this when I was still home. No. He's always looked down on me, like I'm not worthy of the Von Brath name. And I thought this would change that, but he just used me and abandoned me to us.

And Sadate chimes in. That's who he is. Hugo has always been a consumer and nothing more. It's anti-capitalist. The word consumer. Well, Evanna.

During your time, I guess, when you were working with Hugo, did he tell you what his plan was or what way he's doing all this for? I thought we were going to be working together, but he rarely divulged details to me, always keeping me a few steps removed. What I do know is that he was dead set on uncovering some mysterious secret, but I guess I turned out to be yet another pawn in his master plan. I guess so. I'm so confused.

If you weren't in on this plan and Eddie was also not entirely in on the plan, what was the plan? I guess to build a child army. I don't know. Yeah, he was gathering a lot of children, wasn't he? Yeah.

I was happy to finally feel included and be seen as an equal. I finally had worth and purpose in my father's eyes. So you didn't have like control over, you know, mental well-being? You were just making decisions that were kind of guided by Ugo? Yes. I was under the impression that he was simply my father making decisions that were best for me.

I was so eager to be needed and helpful to him. And do you have memory of everything that happened? My memory certainly feels different now. But I think I can remember mostly everything. Was it you or Ugo who made fun of the way I speak? Oh!

I mean, to be fair, she has a kid, you know? Yeah, she kind of, like, looks down at her feet and, like, shuffles them. So, Avena... I'll let it play. So, Avena, what does that leave you? Now that that book is destroyed, are you no longer a vampire? Are you, like, a... Are you a human? It feels like I did before the ritual. Like I'm my old half-elf self again. I think that's why she could live so long. Oh. Yeah. So...

Avena, you know, I don't know if you know this, and this might be kind of a rude awakening, but I don't think we are actually blood-related sisters. Avena looks shocked, you know, looks at you and then turns and looks at Sedate, like back and forth. Sedate just kind of nods and puts her hand on Avena's shoulder. But I am curious, Sedate, are you Avena's mother, real mother? Yes, Avena is my child. Oh.

Oh, that's beautiful. Do you know who the father is? Well, presumably Hugo. Oh, by the way, Avena, this is your uncle Barney. I guess, yeah, I guess Sadate and Hugo actually had Avena. Right. Sadate was actually, you know, with Hugo and did have a child. But then during the process, that's when...

Elga was like switcherooed in like, surprise, you have twins. Yeah. And she really committed to the bitch. I was about to say, that's a commitment to the undercover bitch. Had a child with him and everything. The alchemist and Henry...

Are they lying in like the Lockwood? No, they're on the stage out of the Lockwood. They both seem pretty winded, especially the Alchemist now. He's put on a couple of years, it looks like. Yeah, so then why would he put on years if he wasn't in the Lockwood? He had to reach into the Lockwood to grab Henry. Oh, okay. Thank you. Do you guys remember when the

want to go talk to them? Yeah. Are you good with Avina? I didn't want to make sure that we didn't take away from your moment. We'll be here having some bonding moment off screen while you guys go. That's adorable. I go around and give a big look around. I'm so glad you guys are back together. No longer fighting. Bart, are you coming

Come on come on come on such Chris Farley I put your cheek

He bites you. Just for old time's sake. I walk over to Henry and I kind of like, likely like, kick him. Like a little like, you up? Oh my god. Yeah, he kind of like sits up, still a little out of breath and looking up at you.

I pick him up. Oh, that's cute. He's like, I pick him up like by his collar. Oh, it's not so cute. He's a, you know, he's a boy with olive complexion, rosy cheeks, and he's currently dressed in torn rags, drenched in Lockwood, being pulled up by the collar by our Eric Cochran friend. Bonjour, Henri. You have so much explaining to do. He looks at you and says, I remember you.

You were at the college. We were also everywhere you were as Eddie. Did the alchemist retain any memories when he's Louis? Alchemist, do you retain any memories when you're Louis? I'm asking meta-wise. I don't think so. I think he knows that he does bad stuff, but maybe he doesn't remember conversations. I don't remember exactly. What is the last thing you remember, Henri? I...

I woke up somewhere strange. I don't know where I was. It was dark and stone. Let me ask if he remembers like drinking anything or like being... No, the drinking would have taken him back from Eddie because the drinking made Lewis turn back into the alchemist.

The Lewis thing was triggered more like by emotion. Well, maybe this is something else where Henry is like the normal version of him, but when he's like drugged or something or like given some type of potion, he turns into Eddie.

The opposite of the alchemist? Maybe. Interesting. I don't know. Well, yeah, you need it to work. That's why I say interesting. I mean, genetics wise, if he's the son of alchemist and Frank Eska, he would probably look like a little boy. I feel like that would be the normal version, especially if they were aware that that was their son. Yeah, because the alchemist had said that he's like, not to my understanding, does he have the same affliction? Right. Right.

So maybe something happened to him. Are you aware you've been going around as a crazy muscled green veiny dude doing bad things? Bad things? Like what? Can I, can I? Oh, insight check on that. Can I join in? I don't know if that's Gus's acting or just bad Henry lying. Bad acting or bad lying. Don't worry, we're getting your voice in here. Go ahead and roll an insight check.

Gus and I, we're good enough friends. I can say stuff like that. You can say whatever. It's fine. We're just having fun. It's just D&D. It's just D&D. That's a 13 plus 8. 21. Oh. You think he's being sincere. You don't think there's anything he's trying to hide. Okay. Is Alchemist awake?

Yeah, he's still very winded and seems tired. I point Henry to the algorithm and say, is that your father? Yes. Okay, just check. I'll put him back down. I'll join in, actually, before you put him back down. I want to, oh, Matit, please be easy with the child. And then I pick him up by both hands on his collars and I say, oh, you don't remember

remember like killing my wife or like totally running us around all of grotesque making us do stupid stuff and fight you and you put people's lives in risk and stuff you don't remember any of that he starts crying good welcome to my world my wife died because of you and your alter ego dude I've never met your wife I don't

you're talking about well you never will because she's dead eddie yeah he started he's like sobbing uh and gasping we go to the alchemist big what is going on old man you can see tears streaming down robert's face then you know henry says all i wanted was to spend more time with dad but he was always working helping people with their problems

I didn't want to draw attention to myself or make problems, but I guess that didn't happen. That backfired. Are you still holding him, Chip? I think at this point I've dropped him. Like, he's crying and it's a mixture of emotions but also reason. I know that he probably didn't mean to do that, but it's just a frustrating experience because it's all because of this little boy. Right. At this point, Henry would run over to Robert and Robert would reach out and embrace his son with a strong but gentle hug.

You could cut this if this is just reiterating stuff too much. We got a lore dump of what happened with the Fonolok that we thought made Eddie. What went into the Fonolok that then came out as Eddie?

Well, I think he showed up as Eddie to Fond du Lac and was like very nice and like people thought he was there to help or something. And then I think there was some type of ritual or something where he went into the Fond du Lac. Their little ritual, their midsummer ritual. And he came out, I think, all like green. That's when he came out, Albanian, no skin. So what did he look like before? Maybe it was like Eddie and then he was like super Eddie, like a brownie.

worse version of Eddie. The gamma bomb went off. Yeah, it's like if Louis the Frost Giant went in and came out. Yeah, kind of. Eddie was definitely like a giant. For sure. A giant? Yeah. A giant in D&D standards. I didn't know he was that big. Yeah, he was big. When he came out. That's why the Ferrati clothes didn't fit him. So we still don't even know what his...

The plan was in coming to Fonolog and then participating in that ritual. Yeah, or something here affected him and made him go crazy. Can I ask a question to them then? Because I'm also piecing this together. Henry, I know you can't answer these questions because you got...

like a divided memory brain going on robert please feel free to step in and actually be a present father for once um when eddie came to bring down hugo into the water was that as an act of defending you there robert like what was that a self-defense kind of thing like was he trying to stop you from dying what was that all about i suspect it was most likely his instinct

to protect me. Robert turns to look at Henry with even more tears welling up in his eyes. Henry, no apology can make up for the pain I've caused you. When I became the alchemist, my goal was to be a listening ear and bring aid to those who desperately needed it. But in my fervor, I neglected those needs at home. And I'm sorry, son. I can't express how much love I have for you and how much joy you bring in my life by just being yourself.

Perhaps it's time for me to hang up my mantle as the alchemist and spend more time with you and Francesca. Besides, it seems my age has crept up on me. I can't even make this anti-Sessness elixir work. An elixir? Will it help people? Yes, it's meant to allow people to enter the lock without experiencing its adverse side effects. It's something I've been developing for some time as a favor to Lorenta. It was a recipe that she's been working on with an old friend who went missing.

So she reached out to me to finish it, but for some reason, it turned out half-baked. And Henry's eyes widened. Father, do you have the recipe with you now? Robert reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a frayed scroll and holds it out for Henry. But suddenly the scroll flies from his hand straight past Henry with a whoosh. A rustling wind blows amongst you all and a golden glow emanates from one person, their visage now illuminated and their hand holding a radiant scroll. Mateed.

The parchment unravels before you and your eyes catch a symbol drawn at the top. Two gold crescent moons hanging above and below a brown teardrop, or maybe some kind of oval. The recipe is written in Parishion and you immediately recognize your own penmanship.

Filigree lettering appears just below the symbol that reads Astralman Croissant. It's food! So wait, he was trying to make an elixir, but it was actually a baking recipe? Yeah. And you were the friend that went missing, I'm assuming. Oh, I did go missing. I guess you were working on this.

special thing. With Lorenza? Yes. Well, it was for Lorenza, right? No, I was working with Lorenza. That's what you just said? Yes. Was Lorenza part of Sheath? She was the former director. And Lorenza is... Wow, I'm so important. This is fantastic. I already have quite a good opinion of myself. Okay.

What are you, me? A sparkling purple portal opens up above you all and out comes the astral spirit of an Aarakocra. They're dressed in ornamental robes wearing cotton wraps around their hands and talons. G'day, Mateed.

Are you ready to bake? Jack? Jack? Yeah. Well, but in Australia, it was Jack. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot. That's a stupid question. Of course I'm ready to bake. Like Walter White. Jesse, let's cook. We need to bake. And I'm glowing gold? Yeah, you're currently glowing with your visage illuminated with a golden glow. Nothing gold can stay, Ponyboy.

Is Barney an Outsiders fan? Some Barney lawyer just dropped. Barney is old. I like to imagine that this whole time Elga was just talking to Avena and Sedate and didn't hear any of this conversation and just all of a sudden sees Matide glowing gold and is like, what is happening?

And just so I can wrap my head around what was exactly happening, we were trying to help the alchemist make the elixir, which we now know was doing the wrong thing. Correct. But Hugo was doing something else that was causing that stump to grow up with that flower. I think...

I think that's separate. I think that he just pulled a flower and it shot up. I believe it was Eddie who pulled the petals off of a flower and then it shot up. And then the alchemist pulled the flower out from the ground and that's what caused the stage to go back down. To just help me understand, like...

Hugo appeared to not do a ritual. Hugo appeared to stop us being able to make the elixir. It seemed like Hugo wanted the elixir because he had all the ingredients and was trying to get them from you as well. But we don't know why Hugo would have wanted the elixir. Correct. And he got it, but it didn't seem... Whatever...

It was supposed to do didn't seem to work. That was at the end of the last episode. So that's why he turned into the abomination. He went into the lock, which turned into the abomination. I just didn't quite understand like what all the motivations of what was going on because I didn't get a defense. I appreciate that. It seems like the elixir or the croissant.

um would allow people to enter the lock and not experience the effects of it so maybe there is some like huge benefit to the effects of it that he wants do you have an inspiration i don't yeah you do deserve one you've been on fire with uh with all of the uh the information this episode i'm gonna make this croissant but now i'm also curious why uh were were you guys why were they killing all of the uh the eds of the state

More mystery! I think the most important thing is what's at the bottom of the lock? There's probably something down there. It's got to be with the monopod. Some other type of super being? Yes, I've made that very clear the entire time we've been together. I've suspected it this whole time. I want to make a croissant! Is Gigi with Jacques? Because I sent him to go get him. Jacques would hand Gigi back over to you. Jacques?

is going to guide you through a form or a contemplative dance for baking, much like what you perform back on the Groteth Express. Okay. And a five, six, seven, eight. Make a performance check with advantage. Let's see how sharp those jazz hands are. Legs up, Matee, legs up.

14. Pirouette! Pirouette! Yeah, you and Jacques go through the performance. Even though it seems like it's the first time for you, it comes very naturally. And the moves seem to flow easily through you. And while you're dancing, you receive an epiphany and you know what you need in order to create the Astralman croissant of anti-cessness. What?

You're going to need some chopped wood, a contained fire, crushed astralamons, and then you're going to need to mix all the elixir ingredients and the astralamons under moonlight. Do you need a little boy sacrifice? We got some astralamons. So it was crushed almonds, chopped wood, contained fire, and what was the fourth ingredient? And then Matid will need to mix all the elixir ingredients and the astralamons under the moonlight.

Alright. I think you might want to dispatch one of your party members for each of those ingredients. I have Astral Mints right here. Oh, how convenient. Okay. Are those the things that you handed each of us when you were complimenting us? Yeah.

Oh right, oval nuts. Oval nuts. Um, well, I think that since you have an axe and you have fire resistance, that Chip, you should go get wood, and Elga, you should go get contained fire. Perfect. Elga goes, okay, I guess that works. I'm like, hitting a tree with a dagger.

Hey, Chip, why don't we just switch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll switch, like, before we hit it off to Matit. Matit doesn't really have to know, because as long as we get something great. I look at Elga, and I give her a wink. So, Elga, how would you go about getting chopped wood?

Well, are there any trees I could see nearby? Yeah, there's, you know, the Awning Amphitheater has plenty of vegetation surrounding it, just outside of the stands. So I'd probably go up to the nearest tree so I don't get too far away from everybody. I think I would just, like, shuffle through my axe and kind of, like, blindly pick one. Okay. I'm going to roll a d4 to see which one I use. This is how Barbara picks her outfit in the morning. It's the bone-to-pick axe. How perfect.

I wish that was how I picked my outfit. That would make my life so much easier. - Roll for outfit. - And then I'm just gonna do a couple quick chops on the tree, just on the side. - Sure.

I don't want to mess with the ecosystem. Very, very eco-conscious of you. But I do it in like such even strokes that the tree kind of remains stable. Yeah. And then it just like kind of falls down on itself. Yeah. So you gather that up. And then I carry it back over. To Chip, who is ready to start a fire. Yeah. Yeah.

So I take my knife and then I start hacking off small shreds of the driest log I can find. I've also found some dead dry leaves, so I combine those all together. And then I'm going to take a twig, the most cylindrical twig, and then I'm going to start rubbing it back and forth.

hastily to create a small fire and then I blow on it and then I use thaumaturgy to make the flicker brighten and then yeah, fire. So Elga delivers wood, Chip delivers fire and Barney... And a fire dance. Make a performance check. Okay, got it. You broke me for a second there. I saw. That is a six.

Make me a dexterity check. Uh-oh, you fell in the fire. 20. Okay, yeah. You get very excited that the fire has started and you stand up very quickly to do a fire dance where you do that thing where you stood up too fast after sitting down and you get a little lightheaded and you start like falling onto the fire but you know, you...

You throw your tail out in the opposite direction to counterbalance yourself. Ah, resist it, fire, resist it. Regain your balance. Mateed, all your party members hand over the wood, the fire, and Barney hands over the astralmans. How do you crush them? How do you crush them, Barney? I guess I'll... Oh, maybe use my carpenter tools and take them in a bowl? Do I have a bowl?

Zerbol, do you got a bowl? Mixable? Mateed? I don't know. What was that voice? I don't know. You know, I got a bowl. What's that thing called? Pesto? Pestle? Pestle. Mortar and pestle. Yeah. You got one of those, right? You're a baker. Yeah. Is that a baking thing? Yeah. You'd be free grinding up your herbs and spices. I should have picked up a mortar and pestle. I can't say that word. Pestle? Pesto. Making pesto. Pesto.

Anyway, grind up the stuff. Wow, I don't know what that- that was so much of nothing. How do you grind it? You don't have a mortar and pestle. You just said you don't have one, and then you say you grind it like you had one. Let's do my inventory. Uh, you have a hammer? You have a giant mace. Yeah, but I'm trying to find something to crush it like it's not gonna get all over the dirt. Do it on stone or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do it- I do it with my chewed femur bone.

I have a femur bone. I choose Henry's skull. Yeah, I take it and put it in my chewed femur bone and I kind of grind it up against my... Oh! Oh my gosh. I take the almonds. I take the almonds. I use my shield. I take the femur bone and I grind it. Hey, look at that.

Aren't you glad you waited? Don't you feel better now? It's not about the destination. It's about the journey to get there. What happens if the journey sucks?

Put that on a shirt. That is very quote-worthy. Yeah, so Barney finds the most obtuse way to crush Astralamons. Heaven forbid he use his crushing weapon walker to do it. He just explode.

Too powerful. It's too powerful. Okay. Mateed, you dance while mixing all the elixir ingredients and astralments under the moonlight. And shooting out from the flames appears a floating crescent-shaped roll, glowing with golden flakiness and filling the air with a nutty aroma. Nutty elements. Jacques smiles. Good on you, Mateed. And puts their hand on Mateed's shoulder. And you know the best thing about baking? Shearing it with others. And with that, the purple portal reappears and the astralian disappears. Hmm.

Sharing it with others. Yeah, everybody take a bite. Baby bird me. Come on, I want to do like your customs. You want that? You crush it up. Elga takes Chip's tongue and pulls it. You should be able to see that I believe in D&D Beyond. It's the Astralman Croissant of Anti-Cestness. That's actually a little in fact, that's part of D&D 5e. That's not a custom item. It's in there by default.

Yeah. Is that gluten-free? I just, you know, need to know for my gutty works. A nutty and golden flake croissant roll that can be eaten in four fluffy bites has four charges. Eating a bite grants the target immunity to the side effects of loquid for one hour and gains 15 temporary HP. Magic food. So it gives you four hours of resistance, Mateed. Yeah.

Well, I give one hour to Gigi. Oh, okay. So three hours. You need one hour for Gigi? Yeah. Priorities. I break the croissant into four pieces and toss three to these gnome skulls. Do you not need to give any to the alchemist or Henry? I think this is a journey of us four. Do we want to take a short rest? Oh, I'm sorry. Earlier, I should have given you all a short rest. That's my fault. So you take one now? Yeah.

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Alchemist, you got anything else you want to tell us? What did he say? Alchemist, you got anything else you want to tell us? Perfectly, yeah. It was very rushed. I think that's the fastest Barney's ever talked. My brain wasn't catching up with Chris's void at that point. The alchemist gets up slowly to his feet, and as he does so, you all feel the ground quake violently, and the waves of the lock crashing more violently. More earthquakes! But they're suddenly joined by a third phenomenon, the stars. Phenomenon.

One by one, the night sky shifts into a verdant hue of green stars. Barney, you feel your stomach drop and a shiver run up your spine. You have a feeling that something is happening that hasn't happened for a long time.

Sedate says, I don't like this. We need to get the children to safety. Perhaps. And with a wham, an emerald-essent star plummets into the ground but a few feet away from you all. A star? Yeah. Everybody move. Sedate begins running in a sprint to the nearest roofed refuge. Gang, protect Davina at all costs. Henry can fend for himself. We must protect the little girl. Thank you, Tiff.

I trust you as like one of us so Everyone make dexterity saving throws. Okay, 21 I would never forget Elga. That bothers me like I just see her as like able to take care of herself

No, I was just joking. 23. 14. Okay. So everyone makes it except for Elga. You're running a little too hurriedly and you get clipped by a little bit of star that's falling to the ground. Put your falling star in. Put it in your pocket.

I don't know this song. What is that from? What is this? Do you really not know this song? I feel crazy. No, I'm with you guys. They're all crazy. We're normal. Sing with us, guys. Sing with us, guys. It's just a... It's just like a little nursery rhyme or something. Really? Yeah. Yeah, it's just by Perry Como. Yeah, just a song. Well, anyway...

Elga takes it a little too literally and catches a little bit too much falling star. Taking 17 points of radiant damage. Oh, you don't like radiant damage. I'm vulnerable to radiant, so what happens with that? That's double then. You have an inspiration die. Maybe you can reroll that so you don't have to catch it. I mean, I have 103 HP right now. What? Yeah, you can take the hit. You're fine. So that would be 34? Yeah.

You all continue making your dash through trembling trees and dart this way and that to avoid the falling stars. Just ahead, you see crumbling bone white columns marked with a familiar sigil. That three less than sign in E with an A as a tongue in the middle. And Sadate leads you all through the columns just as another star crashes behind you. Yeah, what was that symbol? Three less than sign. And an E. Is that a...

Blockbuster? I don't know. What is that? I believe last time we encountered this, you all realized that it looks like MAW, like an M-A-W. Oh. So yeah, you all rush into the columned building. Everyone make me a perception check. We were all running, and then we stopped to try to figure out what this is. I know we've seen this before. That's a solid seven from Barney. 14 from Melga again. 17. 11 plus zero.

All right, we'll start with Barney who rolled a seven. Yeah, and you're seeing stars, Barney. You just can't tell if they're real or imagined. Are they shining bright above him? What? I don't get it. Stars shining bright above him. Oh, that one, okay. You know that one, right? Yeah, I do know that one. I have heard that one. Finally, gosh. Elka and Chip, the two of you have stepped into a mossy temple-like ruins dripping with humidity.

Scaly lichen and lockweed climb up tall shelved walls on either side of you and the shelves are filled with archaic boxes. Mateed, you're the only one who notices that a dark beastly figure lay nearly motionless on the stone floor to the south. From the distance you can tell it's still breathing but you can't make out what it is.

We're in a temple? Of some kind. And there's a creature in there? Yeah. What happens if I just float over to the creature? You float over and you see it's a giant salamander-like beast with turquoise scales and a long neck lying on the mossy stone floor wearing flowing scaly robes. It's Nessie. Oh, it is, yeah, probably. The clothes gave it away. Me, Nessie? I feel like, do they not have, like, nicer digs, you know? They're in the temple.

This is the temple. Mossy and stuff. Yeah, that's the whole thing of the Loch Ness. You could just use some cleaning up. Jesus. Some people like it like this. Is she... Are they asleep, unconscious? What are Nessie's pronouns? She. She, her. Is she asleep or damaged or what? Mm.

Make me a medicine check to determine that, Mateed. 12? Yeah, it seems like she's been wounded. Oh. You find a bite on her neck.

It's making her skin turn pale and her veins are beginning to throb green. Is it just two holes? Yes. Okay. It's just the whole party with us? Avena and... Yeah, Avena and Sadate and Henry and the alchemist. Maybe we should push the alchemist up and then maybe I'll kind of block Henry on somebody who gets hit by a stray star or something. I don't know.

You hate this little boy. I love it. I'm here for it. Blaine just picks these NPCs just to hate. But I'm doting on Avena, though. Okay. Mr. Aquamist, we seem to have a bite victim here. Do you have something to help with this? Mr. Aquamist.

Do you want Mateed to kill Chip? Is that what you're trying to proc? No. I'll take Chip's croissant. I know. The alchemist hobbles up very weakly. I'm not feeling 100%. I could use some of your assistance here, Mateed. Sure. What do you want me to do? Make me a medicine check with advantage as you assist the alchemist in assessing this situation. Dirty Tony.

Nice. You work under the alchemist's guidance to try to stabilize Nessie, and you do manage to resuscitate her. She seems to look around, but, like, kind of look through you and not see you. Was this temple to the east? Yeah. Well, that's the direction Hugo... Oh. Who's there? Bonjour. The sky is falling, and my name is Matin.

Is that code or something? No, the sky is literally falling. Oh, yeah, you're right. Henry, get out of there. No. The heavens are falling? That sounds utterly terrifying. What can I do? Do you require aid? Perhaps I can offer you a blessing or impart wisdom? I'm looking for a small loan to start a franchise for my bakery. Could you possibly be a donor?

What? They have a brick and mortar on natural city. It's delightful. You gotta stop by. It's fantastic. We're really trying to expand. We don't have time for that. Oh, okay. Well, I guess we'll worry about your problems first. Didn't you say the sky was falling? Yeah, sure. What kind of blessings you got on the menu? I can offer blessings of endurance, courage, agility, benevolence, recall, or discernment. That's like a whole lot.

I'm feeling fairly weak. I'm afraid I have enough strength to offer one blessing to each of you. How many of you are here?

I can't see you all. Why can't you see us? I don't know. I look at their eyes. Her eyes seem fine, but she's, you know, she's not looking in your eyes. It seems like she's just looking around. Maybe there's like blindness or something from the bite. The bite? MetaTalk, what does recall give? Because if there's one person that would need it, it's actually not Barney. It'd probably be Mateen.

So you have a lot of memories that we need to recall. I don't know. What are these? Guys, do you want to tell us what these do? They're going to give you advantage on different checks depending on what you want. So recall, for example, would give you advantage on intelligence-based checks. So it was recall. What were the other three? It's endurance, courage, agility, benevolence, recall, and discernment.

I want recall just for some giggles. I sense my time is short. I beg of you. What? Make your decision with haste. Oh, messy. What's courage, Jim? I need courage. Courage will give you advantage on strength-based checks. I just feel like as a character, Bernie would want courage. Mm-hmm.

What about endurance? Constitution checks. And agility? Dexterity checks. What was the, is there a perception one? Well, what kind of check is perception? Wisdom. Wisdom. So that would be discernment. And what's benevolence, just to round it out? Charisma. I'm not a brave man. I would, any blessing of courage would be appreciated. Boo!

Of course, child. Nessie turns her head in your direction. May Ma bless you with the courage of K-Miners. And reaches out awkwardly and clumsily, touches you on the head, Barney, and you feel courage well up from inside of you. You have K-Miners courage, which gives you advantage on strength-based checks, and you have resistance to being frightened. I think maybe I should take agility, just because if these falling stars are radiant, I need to avoid them.

Good call. Nessie reaches out in your direction, Elga. May the agility of air roamers be with you, young one. Awkwardly touches you on the head and the shoulder as well. Blessing you with air roamers agility.

which gives you advantage on dexterity-based checks, and you gain an extra five feet of movement. I will take recall. May you experience the recall of refibs. Nessie blesses you with refibs recall. You have advantage on intelligence-based checks, and you can sense when the presence of magic is within 15 feet of you. Okay. Then I step up and I say, I'll take discernment, but if you got, like, spell of, like, wife rejuvenation or little boy insta-death spell,

I don't know. Just see what I got. Discernment for the discerning gentlemen. Okay, all right.

And you get defilin's discernment. So you have advantage on wisdom-based checks, and you can tell when someone is lying. Oh! That's great. Back to Maw. Do I return? With that, Nessie falls unconscious onto the floor, one of her legs reaching out toward a pit that's off to the side of the temple. Oh. God, so then how many does that make heads of state that have passed? It's all of them. Is that all of them? Mm.

Frank and Stein. No, the mummy's still alive. The mummy's... But the mummy's... No, the mummy died. But then came back. Yeah, the mummy came back. He ran into her again in parish. She's a ghost though, right? Yes. Oh, okay. Blob died. What happened to Dracula again? Dracula's... Dracula was murdered. In that battle at the Vampire? Correct. I don't remember that. By Avena? Yeah.

Remember? It was by Hugo. Hugo? Okay. You didn't do anything wrong. You're okay. Is that all? Almost all the... Yeah, that seems about it. Could I look at the pit? What's behind pit number one? Yeah. You take a look and you see a pit that's about 15 feet in diameter that's starting to slightly overflow with lockwood. The edges of the pit are outlined with ancient runes and off to the side of the pit, there's just like sloughs of skin.

Should we take a bite of our croissant and hop in? Oh, you think that's what it is? Like an entrance into the lock? Could be. Can we see in and see if it's like a cave down or is this just like a puddle? It's hard to tell because the lock isn't transparent. It's, you know, it's like thick and it's...

It's like that bluish color. Okay, yeah, this seems like our entrance instead of having to go fight the stars. Do we... The runes that you mentioned are on it. Do any of us understand it or, like, could read it? Make a history check for me, Elka. Eight plus zero. I'm going to use my inspiration. Seven. Man, okay. Well, two. What about me?

You can make a history check as well, Mati. I always hate when I use my inspiration die and it just flops. The worst rule. The blessing only works for intelligence checks, not intelligence-based checks. Intelligence-based checks. So then... So that would be history, right? History. That's a...

Plus one. 16. It's tough to translate and it kind of doesn't make sense. It's something along the lines of the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning. You said there was, you described there was like skin? Yeah. Sloths of skin off to the side. Yum. Like the salamanders shed? They don't.

They're not lizards. They're amphibians. I'm going to take a guess. This would be like a ritual pool where people got sacrificed and maybe their skin just kind of like bubbled up. I want to go look at the skin. Yeah. Make a medicine check. So many medicine checks today. What is medicine? Dr. Matid, we need you in the OR. 17. Dr. Matid. The skin seems to be covered in blisters and...

It seems to be like humanoid size and shape. Maybe it's people who've tried to go in. Maybe it's Hugo skin. Wait, is it like, is it pieces of skin or is it like a body? What do you mean? It's just skin. Just like, just scraps of skin? If we held it up, would it be one complete body suit? That's what I'm wondering. Are we talking about like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like

Probably maybe Hugo's or anything or something familiar Henry you should put this on you keep losing your skin Put it on

You're just bullying this little boy. Yeah, he killed my wife! Okay, so what's the plan? I'm not going to speak for everybody, but I think we want to take our croissants and hop into this potential entrance into the Lockwood. Let's get out of here. We can't do. All right. Elga does the thing where she holds it up and does, Cheers, everybody. Cheers. See you on the other side. Are there any other preparations or anything anyone wants to do before jumping in? Let's see if there's any spells I can do that would, like, help us. Well, does anybody have any, like, doves?

Water breathing or like underwater. I don't breathe. I'm assuming the croissant helps Does not no, okay, you could all die real quick and go back as ghosts. You know, you don't have to breathe Oh, I want it to be that I uh, I brought my gooseling with me What does it sound like

I don't know if I have anything that could really help me. I don't either. Could I maybe take a rope and, like, take a stake of some sort and, like, put the rope into the ground just beyond the entrance of the cave? Like a tether? Yeah. So, like, if I need to pull myself back out? Yeah, why not? I'm going to listen to this water temple music for a bit. Just put it in this giant salamander. No. I think you guys are going to have to hold your breath. Yeah. That's okay. In real life? No. In here recording? No.

We figured it out with D&D rules. Because it's how much each foot of the moon costs one extra, so you get two for one, unless you have a climbing or swimming speed, and that's it. Cool. So we getting in, boys? Yeah. Before we do, I say, Avena, you're in charge, okay? You keep an eye on everybody, all right? Give her a wink.

Henry, don't turn into Eddie. Go take a walk on the stars. Yeah, maybe you guys just wait right here. Belle, if you're sure, they'll be right here when you get back. I feel like they're not going to wait here. All right, we go in? Dive, dive, dive. Yeah. With a splash, you submerge beneath the blue viscous liquid and feel the fluid envelop your body. All of a sudden, you hear the temple above you collapse with a crash. Whoa.

Bones and stone debris drift into the lockwood, sinking past you out of sight. As darkness swallows your vision, something in the distance softly glows. The faint luminescence casts a shadow on the back of something right in front of you. It's the silhouette of Jaws.

What? You know the shark? Yeah. From Steven Spielberg? No, I'm kidding. Like an actual jawbone kind of thing? Some kind of jaw. We'll have to find out more specificity in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Did we also just leave everyone to their deaths up there? I think that's what Chip wanted. No, no, no. Yeah, I don't know. You've been pretty clear about it this whole episode. My faux ma.

Find out their fate as well. Possibly in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Wait, how many episodes do we have left? Is the next episode the finale? What episode is this? This is episode 49. 50 seems like a round number. They could end it. Could we end it?

Find out next week.

at David Blunt and at Scott Testarelli. Sorry, Scott. I got it there eventually. These patrons directly supported the show and they get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server and events, weekly bonus content like Second Wind and Out Now, C-Squad, a four-part superhero adventure. Check out this sneak peek for the finale coming out this Friday.

Could I quickly like whisper something to the team that he doesn't hear? Sure. All right, guys, we need a plan because he could clearly turn into us and fool us and think like we might be attacking one another. So let's have some type of sign to prove that it's you. Okay. Just hold up a peace sign. Okay. Okay. Peace sign. Okay.

- What if he catches on? What's our backups on? - Maybe we do math equation. We have lucky number like 11. So then one person says like two and then the other person says like nine and then you put nine and two together and they make 11. - Okay, yeah, that's good. - Let's make our secret number 616.

Okay. No. I can't do math like that very quick. If we could keep it into like double digits, maybe just teens. How about 10? 10 is anything. 10, I like it. Dorkeus just stands in the theater and just screams out, 463. Oh my goodness.

Again, all of that's available if you head over to patreon.com/stinkydragon. We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Also want to thank some friends who provided voiceover for characters in this episode: Avena Von Brath, voiced by Kristin Nelson @Kristinalyn, Sedate Tempur, voiced by Patty Reisinger,

Jacques, voiced by Drew Saplin, at D. Saplin. Henry, voiced by Ash Hildreth, at Ash underscore Hildreth. The Alchemist, voiced by BlizzBear, at BlizzBear. The letter E is at number three. And Nessie, voiced by Heather Reisinger. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger. Don't forget, head on over to patreon.com slash stinky dragon for all things stinky. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Bonjour, the sky is falling and my name is Mateed. Oh, that's awful. Yes, it is. I'm loading as I'm talking. That's awful. Keep custom slide.